Author Topic: Is it time to move out of parents house?  (Read 8162 times)

fjk19

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 11
Is it time to move out of parents house?
« on: March 28, 2018, 06:06:46 AM »
Hey everyone,

I'm struggling to determine if it's worth moving out of my parent's place to my own apartment or keep saving money.

Here's my situation:

-No debt
-$90k invested
-Job I enjoy @ $50k/yr
-6 month emergency fund saved
-Live 12 miles from work
-Own car, paid off
-23 y/o

I get along really well with my parents, so there's no friction there. I don't pay anything for rent/food, but they're happy to have me around and I help out around the house when I can (I know, mooch). I just feel like at some point soon I should move out and really find out what it's like to be independent but it's hard to determine when I should stop piling onto my nest egg. I've determined that even if I just max out 401k/IRA each year, I can become FI at 45 (based on estimated $60k withdrawal rate in today's dollars).

Basically it's an extra $18k/year of expenses if I get my own place and I'll temporarily drop down to 20% savings rate until I boost my income / optimize expenses in next few years. It's sorta hard to justify since there's no pressing life event that's forcing me to move - I just kinda figure it's what people do and it would be good for me. Obviously, it's not useful to keep saving indefinitely while living with my parents. I'm thinking of moving within 1 mile from my work so I can bike, which would cut out a 25 mile daily commute, saving a few thousand dollars to offset new expenses.

As far as I can tell my parents really enjoy me living here - I have never gotten the impression they wish I was gone..in fact, I suspect the opposite is true.

I've also lived with roommates for a couple years in college / feel very comfortable managing bills + household stuff. So that "growth" area doesn't seem like a viable reason by itself.

Anyways, I'm curious to hear other people's perspectives on this. Or if there's anything important I haven't taken into account.


« Last Edit: March 28, 2018, 04:54:57 PM by fjk19 »

FIRE Artist

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 590
  • Location: YEG
Re: Is it time to move out of parents house?
« Reply #1 on: March 28, 2018, 06:15:11 AM »
Have you calculated your target FI based on your current no rent situation?  Because that isn’t FI, as you are dependent on someone else for food and shelter.

It is time to flee the nest. You don’t need your own apartment right off, you could get a roommate.

maizeman

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 3694
Re: Is it time to move out of parents house?
« Reply #2 on: March 28, 2018, 06:16:54 AM »
-You don't mention dating/relationships. Is not having your own place a constraint on that? If so, is it bothering you?
-How confident are you that your parents really are okay with you continuing to live at home indefinitely?
-You mention being able to FIRE at 45. Is FIRE based on your current budget? Or your current budget + rent? Or your current budget + rent + taking care of your parents in their old age?*

From experience with previous posts on similar themes, a lot of the advice you're going to get depends on people's cultural context. If you're living in America, and not the first generation child of immigrants, there is generally some significant social cost to being a person who lives with their parents and a built in assumption that whatever a person's parents may say, they really, deep down inside, want their kids out of the house. If you live in many other parts of the world, there may be little social cost to doing the same thing, and in some places moving out on your own before you get married is considered a bit weird.

*Generally cultures that are okay with adult children living at home are also ones with strong ideas about the importance of children taking care of their parents in old age.

I'm a red panda

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 8011
  • Location: United States
Re: Is it time to move out of parents house?
« Reply #3 on: March 28, 2018, 07:53:11 AM »
I'm thinking something similar to maizeman...

Are you an American who is not a first generation immigrant?

If so- once you have your own job, yes. Time to move out.
That you have a job, an emergency fund, and some investments- definitely time to move out.

How to justify it? Your parents deserve their space. No doubt they would love you to visit; but there are things adults like to do that they don't want their children around for.  Perhaps you would like a private space to do those things too :)
« Last Edit: March 28, 2018, 08:26:34 AM by iowajes »

MrThatsDifferent

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1546
Re: Is it time to move out of parents house?
« Reply #4 on: March 28, 2018, 08:22:42 AM »
Personally, I couldn’t wait to move out and could never imagine living with them again. And it’s great to enjoy your privacy and be able to entertain people you want to date. However, if you stay, start contributing to the House. Doesn’t have to be much, but don’t keep being a mooch.

Ders

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 14
Re: Is it time to move out of parents house?
« Reply #5 on: March 28, 2018, 08:46:01 AM »
Coming from someone who just recently moved out in January I love it. I had a very similar situation where I lived with my mom and she wasn't even home very much meaning I had the place to myself a lot of the time. There was also no friction and insisted me stay and save more money, but I wouldn't trade for the freedom and independence that I gained. It's nice to invite over your friends whenever you want, and not have all those questions of "Where are you going? When will you be home?" that parents have to ask. I traded a 20 mile commute each way with the worst traffic of the city to a 15 minute walk.  I got a roommate and made it happen and my quality of life and happiness are much improved than before even though it throttled my savings rate. I picked up rent and utility expenses, but dropped most of my car expenses thus far.

For me it opened up so many  quality of life improvements. I was living in the suburbs and moved downtown where I can walk to the library, work, grocery, parks, museums, and pretty much anything else you can think of. I'm in a LCOL area and also make around $50k/yr. I say find a roommate and make the leap you won't regret it.

Sibley

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 3651
  • Location: Chicago, IL
Re: Is it time to move out of parents house?
« Reply #6 on: March 28, 2018, 09:27:28 AM »
As someone who moved out at 21, and am now looking at my parents moving in with me at 32 (most likely temporarily).... move out. It's a huge difference, and you don't know because you've never done it.

Prairie Stash

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1809
Re: Is it time to move out of parents house?
« Reply #7 on: March 28, 2018, 09:41:21 AM »

-You mention being able to FIRE at 45. Is FIRE based on your current budget? Or your current budget + rent? Or your current budget + rent + taking care of your parents in their old age?*

$90k invested, saving $28k/year (currently, from the way the post is written). In two years, age 25, that's over $150k invested. Fast forward 20 years to age 45, that little stash is $600,000 if the OP stops investing at age 25 (I'm ignoring any possibility of savings past 25). Since money roughly doubles every decade in the stock market, the OP can stop investing at age 25 at this rate and retire at 55 and have a $40k/year lifestyle.

My point is that a little savings when you're young is a very powerful force. Even a complete stop of savings after a few great years is enough to have an earlier retirement. At this point, the OP has likely fully funded retirement at 65, it doesn't take much when you start so early.

The lifestyle compromise in the younger years has dramatically changed their lifestyle past 55 already. Its incredible what a difference a few years of savings when you're young will mean when you're 45.

I'm a red panda

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 8011
  • Location: United States
Re: Is it time to move out of parents house?
« Reply #8 on: March 28, 2018, 09:50:40 AM »

My point is that a little savings when you're young is a very powerful force. Even a complete stop of savings after a few great years is enough to have an earlier retirement. At this point, the OP has likely fully funded retirement at 65, it doesn't take much when you start so early.

The lifestyle compromise in the younger years has dramatically changed their lifestyle past 55 already. Its incredible what a difference a few years of savings when you're young will mean when you're 45.
This is true- but is OP doing it at the expense of his parent's retirement? (I don't know- is OP subsidized?)
If OP is paying a share of the utility, water, food, etc bills that increase by living with his parents, then it's not at his parents expense. If he isn't contributing- why should HIS early retirement be at the expense of their comfort in late life?

(Apologies if OP is female, I just used his because there isn't a good gender neutral pronoun.)

mathlete

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1103
Re: Is it time to move out of parents house?
« Reply #9 on: March 28, 2018, 10:03:41 AM »
I say do whatever works for you, provided that your parents are cool with it. You're probably a very minimal drag on your parent's financials unless they'd be downsizing without you. The marginal costs of letting your adult, employed children live with you is pretty low.

As for the experience of living on your own, it's an emotional thing more than an actual life skills thing. Given that you're 23, have a good job, and are an aggressive investor, I doubt you'd have any major issues with the nuts and bolts of living on your own. If you've kept up with a credit card or a car loan, then you can keep up with rent and utilities.

There are social implications of course, but for every potential significant other who is turned off by someone living with their parents, there's probably one who is turned on by such an aggressive saver and investor.

mathlete

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1103
Re: Is it time to move out of parents house?
« Reply #10 on: March 28, 2018, 10:09:02 AM »
If you decide to move out, do it because you want to spread your wings. Because you want to live in an apartment and throw parties and walk around naked by yourself or get a cat or something.

Don't do it for arbitrary reasons like being over 18 and having a job. Otherwise, you're just gonna make some landlord richer instead of making yourself richer.

Prairie Stash

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1809
Re: Is it time to move out of parents house?
« Reply #11 on: March 28, 2018, 10:15:17 AM »

My point is that a little savings when you're young is a very powerful force. Even a complete stop of savings after a few great years is enough to have an earlier retirement. At this point, the OP has likely fully funded retirement at 65, it doesn't take much when you start so early.

The lifestyle compromise in the younger years has dramatically changed their lifestyle past 55 already. Its incredible what a difference a few years of savings when you're young will mean when you're 45.
This is true- but is OP doing it at the expense of his parent's retirement? (I don't know- is OP subsidized?)
If OP is paying a share of the utility, water, food, etc bills that increase by living with his parents, then it's not at his parents expense. If he isn't contributing- why should HIS early retirement be at the expense of their comfort in late life?

(Apologies if OP is female, I just used his because there isn't a good gender neutral pronoun.)
Side bar - use "they" for gender neutrality "If they aren't contributing- why should their early retirement be at the expense of the parents comfort in late life?" I substitute regularly in my head, personally I read it as the OP is female because I projected my own daughters saying the exact same thing one day.

I have no idea what is happening between the parents and child. In the rush to move out though, the power of saving at an early age may be overlooked.  We can only project our own experiences onto the OP, personally I wish I had saved some at a young age. The last three years of work have likely shaved 10 years off the OP's entire work career, that's something to consider.

If you had to live at home to shave 10 years off your entire working career, would you? 10 extra years of FRE vs. living at home is something that will have diferent answers at different ages. When you're young, moving out is awesome. When you're older, being FIRE is awesome.

I moved out at 17, I hope my children move out much later so I can enjoy their company longer; plus, if they live at home they can finish school without debt. How do the parents actually feel about the situation is a good converation the OP can have with their parents. As you point out they could be negatively affected or positively affected by the OP's decision. Perhaps the parents want the child to stay? Perhaps they want space? Staying can be positive or negative for the parents and for the OP.

FIRE Artist

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 590
  • Location: YEG
Re: Is it time to move out of parents house?
« Reply #12 on: March 28, 2018, 10:27:14 AM »
I don’t know necessarily how to balance the developmental impact of delaying independence from your parents against the potential for saving money, but it has to be a consideration.  I think some things are not worth delaying, becoming a full functioning independent adult is one of those things in my book. 

PoutineLover

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1199
Re: Is it time to move out of parents house?
« Reply #13 on: March 28, 2018, 10:32:26 AM »
I moved out to go to university when I was 17. I learned to be independent, pay my bills, do my chores, have relationships, etc. I wouldn't trade that experience for anything. I get the temptation to save money early on, but I am a strong believer in making your own way, and moving out is a necessary part of that journey. Now if my parents had health issues, or if I couldn't earn enough to support myself, it would be different, but I think in this case, a short term savings hit is worth it.

wageslave23

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 497
  • Age: 35
  • Location: Illinois
Re: Is it time to move out of parents house?
« Reply #14 on: March 28, 2018, 10:35:45 AM »
If your parents truly don't mind - like you can tell they enjoy having you around.  Then give them some money for rent and do some chores around the house.  Then save like there's no tomorrow and enjoy the incredible opportunity they have given you.  And appreciate being able to spend this time with them. 

Dicey

  • Senior Mustachian
  • ********
  • Posts: 10881
  • Age: 61
  • Location: NorCal
Re: Is it time to move out of parents house?
« Reply #15 on: March 28, 2018, 10:50:53 AM »
Move the hell out!

There are so many life skills that are learned by leaving the nest. IMO, your savings aren't that remarkable, given you're living at home. Your future self will thank you for developing those skills. When there's no one there to look out for you, you will still soar. You need to learn how to manage all aspects of self support to become a well-rounded, mature adult.

The payoff will be worth the effort, I assure you.

Now, be sure to find mustachian-approved living arrangements. An apartment with one or more responsible roommates is a popular (and wise) first step.

maizeman

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 3694
Re: Is it time to move out of parents house?
« Reply #16 on: March 28, 2018, 10:55:12 AM »
(Apologies if OP is female, I just used his because there isn't a good gender neutral pronoun.)
Side bar - use "they" for gender neutrality "If they aren't contributing- why should their early retirement be at the expense of the parents comfort in late life?"

Singular "they" is an incredibly useful term. Plus imagining the reaction of a particular one of my high school english teachers who strenuously didn't buy into the view that linguistics is a descriptive rather than prescriptive field puts on a smile on my face almost every time I use it.

mathlete

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1103
Re: Is it time to move out of parents house?
« Reply #17 on: March 28, 2018, 11:22:04 AM »
I think we tend to write our own stories so that the way we experienced life was "for the best". Such is life when you're an optimist. I'm certainly guilty of it.

Living with my parents wasn't an option for me for most of my early adult years, and I was out once I turned 18. For a long time, I thought this was a good thing. I learned a lot about cooking for myself and paying my own bills and all that stuff.

Except that I was already cooking for myself from time to time in high school. And I was a responsible kid who probably wouldn't have problems paying bills anyway. And I didn't really make very many deep friendships in college. My roommates were fine, but I don't keep up with any of them. I suppose I appreciated not having to have sex in my parent's house, but in small apartments, you have to work around your roommate's schedules too.

If I had invested every dollar I spent on rent between 18 and 24 (when I bought a home), It'd probably be close to $100K at age 30. Up to around $2M by age 65, when people traditionally start retiring.

Would I have lived with my parents for six more years in exchange for $100K today? It's hard to say, because I like my life now and so I'm reluctant to change anything. But it's good to think about it.


Noodle

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1195
Re: Is it time to move out of parents house?
« Reply #18 on: March 28, 2018, 11:29:59 AM »
Don't underestimate the value of life experience. Living on your own will help you learn about your values and boundaries, as well as specific skills that you just can't learn theoretically. For instance, you may know how to cook. But can you plan a menu, shop frugally, use the leftovers, feed yourself healthfully, and do it all again next week? How do you deal with a difficult neighbor? How clean is "clean?" Do you want things picked up, or scrubbed well-enough to do an appendectomy on the kitchen counter? Are you willing to do the work involved for the level of cleanliness you want? How do you fit that into the rest of your life? Do you know how to get renter's insurance or maintain a lawn or outdoor space? Where's the balance between the temperature you want in your home and what you're willing to spend on the power bill? If your life plans include a romantic partner, I can guarantee they will appreciate it if you have experience in managing a household as opposed to just the observation of your parents doing it, and you will be better able to negotiate how your home and family function.

Living on your own doesn't have to mean "signing a year's lease on an apartment and filling it with furnishings." You could rent a room or share an apartment, house-sit, sublet and pet-sit for someone who's travelling, etc. You have the advantage of a fallback in your parent's house if something unconventional doesn't work out, and also the ability to wait until you locate a really good living situation instead of taking whatever you can get because of a deadline.

mak1277

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 788
Re: Is it time to move out of parents house?
« Reply #19 on: March 28, 2018, 12:49:39 PM »
If you had to live at home to shave 10 years off your entire working career, would you? 10 extra years of FRE vs. living at home is something that will have diferent answers at different ages. When you're young, moving out is awesome. When you're older, being FIRE is awesome.

This is a great way to look at things.  I went to college several states away from my parents and moved out as soon as I could.  I wouldn't go back and do it any differently.  Part of why I desire FIRE is freedom...the same reason I wanted to be on my own at that age.  I certainly don't intend to offer my son the opportunity to live at home if he has a job and no debt.  He'll be out on his own as well. 

Catbert

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1720
  • Location: Southern California
Re: Is it time to move out of parents house?
« Reply #20 on: March 28, 2018, 01:46:48 PM »
If you decide to stick around for awhile define for yourself a goal that when met means you move out.  Maybe that's have 100K saved.  OR when you make enough to max out 401k and IRA and still afford rent.  OR whatever. 

I'm as least as old than your parents but when I moved out at 19 (full-time job/almost full-time university) that was pretty much the norm.  It would have been very strange for anyone to have moved home after college for more than 6 months or so.  That still seems a pretty good idea to me.


partgypsy

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 3403
Re: Is it time to move out of parents house?
« Reply #21 on: March 28, 2018, 01:48:00 PM »
If you are happy and your parents are happy, then keep doing it. It would be good if you paid some of the bills and/or contributed to the household.  However, I would give yourself a timeline to move out. Really, no more than 2 years from now. Because people get complacent. You don't want to be a 35 year old living with the parents, no matter how much money you've saved.
« Last Edit: March 28, 2018, 01:50:11 PM by partgypsy »

SC93

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 606
Re: Is it time to move out of parents house?
« Reply #22 on: March 28, 2018, 04:09:12 PM »
As long as it's not interfering with your dating life or your parents life you should stay there if you are happy. Might be in 2 weeks or 2 years or 10 years that you decide it would be better if you move out but for now it seems like you are happy and your parents don't mind so I vote to stay there. We both know in a few years when our grandson moves out (he is 15), it will be kinda lonely around here so he can stay as long as he wants. It might be the same for your parents. If he moves out at 18 or 25 we are good with it..... and we aren't even 'kid' people.

fjk19

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 11
Re: Is it time to move out of parents house?
« Reply #23 on: March 28, 2018, 04:51:08 PM »
I don’t know necessarily how to balance the developmental impact of delaying independence from your parents against the potential for saving money, but it has to be a consideration.  I think some things are not worth delaying, becoming a full functioning independent adult is one of those things in my book.

What do you think is the most valuable part of living independently? I lived with roommates for 2 years in college so it's not like I've never left home. I feel pretty comfortable with bills/ household maintenance - I'm sure the main benefit is softer skills that are hard to articulate like clarifying my values.

fjk19

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 11
Re: Is it time to move out of parents house?
« Reply #24 on: March 28, 2018, 04:52:57 PM »

My point is that a little savings when you're young is a very powerful force. Even a complete stop of savings after a few great years is enough to have an earlier retirement. At this point, the OP has likely fully funded retirement at 65, it doesn't take much when you start so early.

The lifestyle compromise in the younger years has dramatically changed their lifestyle past 55 already. Its incredible what a difference a few years of savings when you're young will mean when you're 45.
This is true- but is OP doing it at the expense of his parent's retirement? (I don't know- is OP subsidized?)
If OP is paying a share of the utility, water, food, etc bills that increase by living with his parents, then it's not at his parents expense. If he isn't contributing- why should HIS early retirement be at the expense of their comfort in late life?

(Apologies if OP is female, I just used his because there isn't a good gender neutral pronoun.)
Side bar - use "they" for gender neutrality "If they aren't contributing- why should their early retirement be at the expense of the parents comfort in late life?" I substitute regularly in my head, personally I read it as the OP is female because I projected my own daughters saying the exact same thing one day.

I have no idea what is happening between the parents and child. In the rush to move out though, the power of saving at an early age may be overlooked.  We can only project our own experiences onto the OP, personally I wish I had saved some at a young age. The last three years of work have likely shaved 10 years off the OP's entire work career, that's something to consider.

If you had to live at home to shave 10 years off your entire working career, would you? 10 extra years of FRE vs. living at home is something that will have diferent answers at different ages. When you're young, moving out is awesome. When you're older, being FIRE is awesome.

I moved out at 17, I hope my children move out much later so I can enjoy their company longer; plus, if they live at home they can finish school without debt. How do the parents actually feel about the situation is a good converation the OP can have with their parents. As you point out they could be negatively affected or positively affected by the OP's decision. Perhaps the parents want the child to stay? Perhaps they want space? Staying can be positive or negative for the parents and for the OP.

Argh, yeah this is the tricky thing. If I worked 3 more years and shaved ANOTHER 10 years off my career? That's crazy good. And as far as I can tell my parents really enjoy me staying with them. It's hard to not feel like I should "just because" that's what society says.

undercover

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 928
Re: Is it time to move out of parents house?
« Reply #25 on: March 28, 2018, 04:58:29 PM »
A lot of parents want the company so it may not be that you're doing them any favors at all by moving. And I think if OP's parents don't want/need help helping with rent/food then that's totally between them. He/she is obviously an otherwise responsible person. No sense in denying something free that someone is willing to help you with solely on the merit of "principle". That's my opinion anyway. We don't know his parent's situation and they may be multi-millionaires for all we know. If at any point they needed help since we can assume they currently don't, I'm sure OP would return the favor.

There's no such thing as getting through this life on your own and being independent and living alone are totally overrated concepts. Americans are literally the only group that demand having their own place. Totally overrated - and wasteful/inefficient if it's not necessary. Think about what else you could with $18k instead of it basically being gone after a year.

I'm not sure what "life skills" one learns by living in their own place vs. with others/parents. If we're talking meal planning, DIY, dealing with people, planning, etc, then those things are pretty location independent. If your parents currently do all the cooking and planning and all that then so what? Either cross the bridge when it comes to it or do what you can in whatever situation you're in. I know plenty of people living on their own that don't meal plan, suck at DIY, don't work well with others, can't manage money, etc. The presence or absence of valuable life skills has nothing to do with living or not living with your parents.

So basically, if you know you're happy/content right now then I would personally just stay put.
« Last Edit: March 28, 2018, 05:08:01 PM by undercover »

fjk19

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 11
Re: Is it time to move out of parents house?
« Reply #26 on: March 28, 2018, 05:01:31 PM »
Don't underestimate the value of life experience. Living on your own will help you learn about your values and boundaries, as well as specific skills that you just can't learn theoretically. For instance, you may know how to cook. But can you plan a menu, shop frugally, use the leftovers, feed yourself healthfully, and do it all again next week? How do you deal with a difficult neighbor? How clean is "clean?" Do you want things picked up, or scrubbed well-enough to do an appendectomy on the kitchen counter? Are you willing to do the work involved for the level of cleanliness you want? How do you fit that into the rest of your life? Do you know how to get renter's insurance or maintain a lawn or outdoor space? Where's the balance between the temperature you want in your home and what you're willing to spend on the power bill? If your life plans include a romantic partner, I can guarantee they will appreciate it if you have experience in managing a household as opposed to just the observation of your parents doing it, and you will be better able to negotiate how your home and family function.

Living on your own doesn't have to mean "signing a year's lease on an apartment and filling it with furnishings." You could rent a room or share an apartment, house-sit, sublet and pet-sit for someone who's travelling, etc. You have the advantage of a fallback in your parent's house if something unconventional doesn't work out, and also the ability to wait until you locate a really good living situation instead of taking whatever you can get because of a deadline.

Thanks for the response- I really liked this answer. I guess it's really easy to trick yourself into saying things like "oh I can clean or cook" but what's hard to quantify is how that skill meets reality, which is super valid. But it feels so hard to delay saving another $100k and shaving another 5-10 years off my working career. Do you have any advice on sourcing unconventional living arrangements besides the usual padmapper or craigslist?

fjk19

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 11
Re: Is it time to move out of parents house?
« Reply #27 on: March 28, 2018, 05:06:10 PM »
A lot of parents want the company so it may not be that you're doing them any favors at all by moving. And I think if OP's parents don't want/need help helping with rent/food then that's totally between them. He/she is obviously an otherwise responsible person. No sense in denying something free that someone is willing to help you with solely on the merit of "principle". That's my opinion anyway. We don't know his parent's situation and they may be multi-millionaires for all we know. If at any point they needed help since we can assume they currently don't, I'm sure OP would return the favor.

There's no such thing as getting through this life on your own and being independent and living alone are totally overrated concepts. Americans are literally the only group that demand having their own place. Totally overrated - and wasteful/inefficient if it's not necessary. Think about what else you could with $18k instead of it basically being gone after a year.

So basically, if you know you're happy/content right now then I would personally just stay put.

Hey! So you basically just summed up what I've been feeling in my gut. It seems sort of Mustachian to say "screw what society thinks, I'm happy now, where I am today". That's honestly how I feel. I know almost for sure that my parents prefer me being home to keep them company. But I get this nagging feeling that "oh if I had a new place, it would help me form new friendships/ find an amazing girlfriend"...which kind of seems like bogus to me. Like a grass is always greener type of thing that I've been conditioned to believe by American culture.

I dunno, it seems like the attitude here is to be non-traditional in regards to what most people in society blindly do "just because".

I've lived with roommates for a couple years so it's not like I've never had that experience... I'm also really comfortable with bills / housework / dealing with people so none of those reasons make any sense to me. Softer skills like my sense of self being changed by the experience or my ability to appreciate things more are more in line with the type of reasons I'm thinking about. But $20k+ is a big stack of cash for this decision
« Last Edit: March 28, 2018, 05:11:38 PM by fjk19 »

TheWifeHalf

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 496
Re: Is it time to move out of parents house?
« Reply #28 on: March 28, 2018, 06:08:29 PM »
A Mom here:

Are YOU ready to move out and deal with whatever comes your way without trying to move back?

We had 3 kids, who we told to stay as long as they want.
They paid $300/month when they were done with school, followed our few rules, had access to the washer and dryer, had a separate entrance to the 'kids' side of the house, had access to the kitchen (but seemed to buy their own food), and no smoking or candles.

2  bought a house, and then moved, so they were ready. The other moved in with the oldest. They were a joy to have live here, they are joys out on their own.

When the oldest bought a house, he showed me that now, all of his golf clubs could have their own room. I told him, now, my fabric has ITS own room!

They were all gone by the age of 27.

MMMarbleheader

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 160
Re: Is it time to move out of parents house?
« Reply #29 on: March 28, 2018, 07:23:20 PM »
My mom and dad are both Catholic of European descent and both lived at home until they were married. I thought this was normal until I learned how real Americans do things. I also learned that parties have end times on invitations and people hardly know their first cousins.

Do what is right for you, enjoy your family and keep saving. I moved out of the house to move to the big city but the town I live in now which is closer has multi generational living situations and the parents seem to enjoy themselves more because they have help with the kids.

Noodle

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1195
Re: Is it time to move out of parents house?
« Reply #30 on: March 29, 2018, 06:52:38 AM »
Don't underestimate the value of life experience. Living on your own will help you learn about your values and boundaries, as well as specific skills that you just can't learn theoretically. For instance, you may know how to cook. But can you plan a menu, shop frugally, use the leftovers, feed yourself healthfully, and do it all again next week? How do you deal with a difficult neighbor? How clean is "clean?" Do you want things picked up, or scrubbed well-enough to do an appendectomy on the kitchen counter? Are you willing to do the work involved for the level of cleanliness you want? How do you fit that into the rest of your life? Do you know how to get renter's insurance or maintain a lawn or outdoor space? Where's the balance between the temperature you want in your home and what you're willing to spend on the power bill? If your life plans include a romantic partner, I can guarantee they will appreciate it if you have experience in managing a household as opposed to just the observation of your parents doing it, and you will be better able to negotiate how your home and family function.

Living on your own doesn't have to mean "signing a year's lease on an apartment and filling it with furnishings." You could rent a room or share an apartment, house-sit, sublet and pet-sit for someone who's travelling, etc. You have the advantage of a fallback in your parent's house if something unconventional doesn't work out, and also the ability to wait until you locate a really good living situation instead of taking whatever you can get because of a deadline.

Thanks for the response- I really liked this answer. I guess it's really easy to trick yourself into saying things like "oh I can clean or cook" but what's hard to quantify is how that skill meets reality, which is super valid. But it feels so hard to delay saving another $100k and shaving another 5-10 years off my working career. Do you have any advice on sourcing unconventional living arrangements besides the usual padmapper or craigslist?

I would suggest the good old-fashioned technique of "getting the word out." (Amy Dacyczyn actually goes into detail about it in the great old Tightwad Gazette books.) ie...just start mentioning your interest in finding a new housing situation to pretty much everyone you meet, or if there are locally-based online communities you participate in, bring it up there. Your parents can help too, because they're probably networked into a whole different group of people through their jobs/friends/community groups. People LOVE helping other people out, especially with something like advice that costs them nothing. (The flip side is that you will have to sort through a lot of unhelpful advice, but I didn't say it cost YOU nothing.) And on a more abstract level, networking like this builds "community capital" which is really important to successful Mustachianism (ie, no need to buy a Widget for one use if your neighbor down the street has one and you have a good ongoing relationship).

It sounds like you are finding a lot of arguments for staying put right now, and that's fine if it's right for everyone, but since you are undecided I would really recommend starting the process with an actual conversation with your parents. You say you "think" they don't mind you being around--you really need to know. Take them out for a nice dinner (or even more Mustachian, shop, cook for and clean up after a meal at home) and talk to them. Tell them you've been thinking about your next step and ask what they think. (Don't ask if they mind you being there, they'll feel pressured to say no.) What did they envision as the time frame involved? Do they think you should hit certain financial milestones ? What do they think a person living on their own needs to know and be able to do that you haven't learned yet? Could you take on some of those jobs while you're still at home? What are their long-term goals now that they're done raising you? What are your long-term goals (other than FI)? Are there ways you can support each other's goals? (Maybe they want to downsize in a few years, and you can help them fix up the house for sale, etc. Maybe they want to travel, and like the idea of a free resident housesitter.)  If this conversation seems weird and awkward...well, you've got a lot of weird and awkward conversations coming up about wills and long-term care and medical directives--welcome to adulthood!

One thing to keep in mind is that humans have the tendency to artificially reduce their decision-making options to reduce cognitive load, and they are also terrible at predicting the future (what will make them happy, or unhappy, what's significant, etc.) I noticed that you've been persistently framing this decision around 100K/10 years less of work...which is certainly one possible outcome. But it's not the only possible way to frame your decision. I highly recommend the book Decisive by Chip and Dan Heath which really helped me notice and work around some of my own cognitive biases around this stuff.

totoro

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 2099
Re: Is it time to move out of parents house?
« Reply #31 on: March 29, 2018, 07:10:52 AM »
If you all get along stay put.  Your parents won't live forever and it seems like a win:win right now.  I personally would be thrilled to have my kids at home saving money until they have enough to buy a home because we get along great and enjoy each other's company and it makes financial sense.  You sound like you have already moved out and tried independence and are now saving a lot of money and using the opportunity wisely so if it is working for you and your parents keep at it.

Social norms are often not the best way to go.

marcela

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 685
Re: Is it time to move out of parents house?
« Reply #32 on: March 29, 2018, 07:24:30 AM »
I moved back in my parents after college and lived there until I got married 3 years later. I did not pay any rent/utilities and bought groceries every once in a while. This let me save up some money and put me in a better position to save later on. My parents knew I was just getting started and didn't expect me to contribute. Plus my parents worked different shifts so they appreciated having someone else in the house to spend time with when they weren't at work.
Now(5 years later), I'm settled into a good career with enough money that I can help my parents with their expenses. And they are more willing to accept that financial help when I point out how they helped me when I was younger.

Don't feel like you have to move out just because it's the "done thing." I do agree that it would be good to have a conversation with your parents to make sure everyone is on the same page, but thinking that you aren't a real adult just because you aren't spending half your income on rent isn't helpful.

Caveats: Speaking as a first generation immigrant whose older sister lived at home until 27 and also I know that my parents will likely move in with me and my husband someday.

Dicey

  • Senior Mustachian
  • ********
  • Posts: 10881
  • Age: 61
  • Location: NorCal
Re: Is it time to move out of parents house?
« Reply #33 on: March 29, 2018, 08:06:23 AM »
If you all get along stay put.  Your parents won't live forever and it seems like a win:win right now.  I personally would be thrilled to have my kids at home saving money until they have enough to buy a home because we get along great and enjoy each other's company and it makes financial sense.  You sound like you have already moved out and tried independence and are now saving a lot of money and using the opportunity wisely so if it is working for you and your parents keep at it.

Social norms are often not the best way to go.
@totoro several people have responded along these lines, so I'm quoting you, but only as an example of this side of the discussion, not criticizing.

To the above thinking + the ones about keeping your parents company, I'd like to offer a counterpoint. If you stay at home, and your parents become so dependent on you that you can never leave, how might you feel then? Would you feel trapped and grow resentful? What if they don't especially care for someone you're dating or even just hanging out with? What if you develop an urge to try something new and they don't approve?

Living under your parents aegis is like living in a bubble. Living independently is harder to do, and the sooner you develop those skills, the more confidence you will have to handle the demands of adult life, because life is guaranteed to hand you shit sandwiches. Mustachianism emphasizes stoicism and self-reliance. Staying at home (absent a better reason than stockpiling Benjamins) is taking the easy way out, IMO.

And +1 to word of mouth to find housing deals. When my brother was in college, he lived in a super cheap backyard cottage in exchange for mowing the elderly homeowner's lawn weekly and checking on him once a day. It was a friend of a friend arrangement, so the faraway family knew that grandad was okay. Win-win.

saguaro

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 155
Re: Is it time to move out of parents house?
« Reply #34 on: March 29, 2018, 09:07:35 AM »
   To the above thinking + the ones about keeping your parents company, I'd like to offer a counterpoint. If you stay at home, and your parents become so dependent on you that you can never leave, how might you feel then? Would you feel trapped and grow resentful? What if they don't especially care for someone you're dating or even just hanging out with? What if you develop an urge to try something new and they don't approve? 

I know the potential for the above scenario probably depends on the family but it can happen IME and is something to consider.  Parents of adult children can get used to their kids being around, especially if the kids are chipping in on household support in addition to keeping the parents "company" as was in the case of the situation with my two sisters.  The longer it goes on, the more everyone gets used to it.  Then when the time comes to move out, or anything happening that hints at moving out in the future (such as finding a partner) parents can have very hard time with their child leaving them, perhaps even harder than if the child had left earlier.


mathlete

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1103
Re: Is it time to move out of parents house?
« Reply #35 on: March 29, 2018, 09:22:13 AM »
Living under your parents aegis is like living in a bubble. Living independently is harder to do, and the sooner you develop those skills, the more confidence you will have to handle the demands of adult life, because life is guaranteed to hand you shit sandwiches. Mustachianism emphasizes stoicism and self-reliance. Staying at home (absent a better reason than stockpiling Benjamins) is taking the easy way out, IMO.

What's wrong with taking the easy way out? Feel free to answer in general, or with specifics to this situation.

Most of the time, when there is an easy way to do something, and a difficult way to do it, I opt for the easy way.

mak1277

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 788
Re: Is it time to move out of parents house?
« Reply #36 on: March 29, 2018, 09:28:57 AM »
being independent and living alone are totally overrated concepts.

This is something that is going to differ from person to person....you can't make this statement in absolute terms. 

For me, there is almost nothing more important than having independence and being able to do what I choose.  I took my first job as soon as I got my driver's license because it pained me to have to rely on my parents for gas money.  I moved away for college and stayed away after I graduated because I needed to have the freedom not to be obligated to my parents for anything (even the "obligation" of a weekly phone call to my mom felt intrusive).  This same concept is the very reason I am pursuing FIRE...as long as I have an employer I cannot be as independent as I want. 

totoro

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 2099
Re: Is it time to move out of parents house?
« Reply #37 on: March 29, 2018, 09:29:10 AM »

To the above thinking + the ones about keeping your parents company, I'd like to offer a counterpoint. If you stay at home, and your parents become so dependent on you that you can never leave, how might you feel then? Would you feel trapped and grow resentful? What if they don't especially care for someone you're dating or even just hanging out with? What if you develop an urge to try something new and they don't approve?

Living under your parents aegis is like living in a bubble. Living independently is harder to do, and the sooner you develop those skills, the more confidence you will have to handle the demands of adult life, because life is guaranteed to hand you shit sandwiches.

I was responding to the OPs post.  He's already lived independently with roommates for a couple of years and had no problem dealing with the responsibilities.  Not sure what is to be gained that outweighs the benefit when he is stating he is happier at home and saves a load of money doing this.  His main issue is the social pressure aspect which I think is far outweighed by the benefits in his case.

And why would his parents all of a sudden become so dependent on him that he cannot leave?  Not something he expressed a worry about.

I personally think that the North American norm of a child getting out at 18 or 19 is totally a waste of family resources unless there is dysfunction in the home.  My eldest stayed home and saved and travelled for a year on his own - learned lots of independence skills.  Came back and is in school.  Has no intention of leaving home until grad school when he'll need to change cities.

Dicey

  • Senior Mustachian
  • ********
  • Posts: 10881
  • Age: 61
  • Location: NorCal
Re: Is it time to move out of parents house?
« Reply #38 on: March 29, 2018, 09:35:50 AM »

To the above thinking + the ones about keeping your parents company, I'd like to offer a counterpoint. If you stay at home, and your parents become so dependent on you that you can never leave, how might you feel then? Would you feel trapped and grow resentful? What if they don't especially care for someone you're dating or even just hanging out with? What if you develop an urge to try something new and they don't approve?

Living under your parents aegis is like living in a bubble. Living independently is harder to do, and the sooner you develop those skills, the more confidence you will have to handle the demands of adult life, because life is guaranteed to hand you shit sandwiches.

I was responding to the OPs post.  He's already lived independently with roommates for a couple of years and had no problem dealing with the responsibilities.  Not sure what is to be gained that outweighs the benefit when he is stating he is happier at home and saves a load of money doing this.  His main issue is the social pressure aspect which I think is far outweighed by the benefits in his case.

And why would his parents all of a sudden become so dependent on him that he cannot leave?  Not something he expressed a worry about.

I personally think that the North American norm of a child getting out at 18 or 19 is totally a waste of family resources unless there is dysfunction in the home.  My eldest stayed home and saved and travelled for a year on his own - learned lots of independence skills.  Came back and is in school.  Has no intention of leaving home until grad school when he'll need to change cities.
Sigh, I guess my disclaimer was inadequate. I just chose your well written point of view from which to present another point of view. I am not criticizing your response, just giving the OP more to think about.

totoro

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 2099
Re: Is it time to move out of parents house?
« Reply #39 on: March 29, 2018, 09:36:14 AM »
> I needed to have the freedom not to be obligated to my parents for anything

If it feels like an obligation maybe the relationship needs some work?  Maybe independence is a good way to get to a better place with this. 

For us, we looked at assisting the kids as a gift we were given.  We feel extremely fortunate to be in a position to help out and just want to - subject to reasonable limits (ie. we provide food, shelter and education costs as long as they are working towards a goal - we don't provide gas money or cars or spending money and if they want to live on their own they pay for this). 

I suspect if the kids felt that we looked at it as a sacrifice or reciprocal obligation of some sort they might not feel as good as they do with the current situation.  I personally left home at 17 but that was because it was a dysfunctional environment.  Totally worth it, but not ideal on many levels imo.

mak1277

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 788
Re: Is it time to move out of parents house?
« Reply #40 on: March 29, 2018, 09:54:34 AM »
> I needed to have the freedom not to be obligated to my parents for anything

If it feels like an obligation maybe the relationship needs some work?  Maybe independence is a good way to get to a better place with this. 

For us, we looked at assisting the kids as a gift we were given.  We feel extremely fortunate to be in a position to help out and just want to - subject to reasonable limits (ie. we provide food, shelter and education costs as long as they are working towards a goal - we don't provide gas money or cars or spending money and if they want to live on their own they pay for this). 

My point of view is that a parent's job is to raise a self sufficient adult.  I don't think parents and children need to be friends.  My parents believed the same and taught me that independence is a worth goal.

I suspect if the kids felt that we looked at it as a sacrifice or reciprocal obligation of some sort they might not feel as good as they do with the current situation.  I personally left home at 17 but that was because it was a dysfunctional environment.  Totally worth it, but not ideal on many levels imo.

Even if it's not explicit, anytime one party supports another, there are going to be obligations.  It's just human nature.

undercover

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 928
Re: Is it time to move out of parents house?
« Reply #41 on: March 29, 2018, 10:03:07 AM »
being independent and living alone are totally overrated concepts.

This is something that is going to differ from person to person....you can't make this statement in absolute terms. 

For me, there is almost nothing more important than having independence and being able to do what I choose.  I took my first job as soon as I got my driver's license because it pained me to have to rely on my parents for gas money.  I moved away for college and stayed away after I graduated because I needed to have the freedom not to be obligated to my parents for anything (even the "obligation" of a weekly phone call to my mom felt intrusive).  This same concept is the very reason I am pursuing FIRE...as long as I have an employer I cannot be as independent as I want.

Overrated doesn't mean that no one will crave independence/living alone or that those things won't be valuable to anyone. By definition, in our culture, living alone is overrated. It's the default recommendation. Overrated simply means that it's touted and expected out of nearly everyone in our culture without regard to circumstance and meaningful alternatives. Conversely, living at home, in our culture, is never overrated.

I will also pose the argument that there is no such thing as independence or ever really being "alone", only potential for irrational spending in order to try to achieve those things. One can claim all you they that the longer you wait to adapt to an inevitable situation such as moving out of parent's house, the harder it will be. But I don't believe that's necessarily true at all. I've been very "independent" in terms of skills both living at home and living on my own. Again, I could give you plenty of examples of how I was more independent living with parents than my peers were living on their own.

TexasRunner

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 927
  • Age: 28
  • Location: Somewhere in Tejas
Re: Is it time to move out of parents house?
« Reply #42 on: March 29, 2018, 10:05:01 AM »
Your 23 with a 50k a year job.

Your parents want to go pants-less whenever they care to do so (assumption, but probably right...)

Yes, time to move out.

totoro

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 2099
Re: Is it time to move out of parents house?
« Reply #43 on: March 29, 2018, 10:12:23 AM »
"My point of view is that a parent's job is to raise a self sufficient adult.  I don't think parents and children need to be friends.  My parents believed the same and taught me that independence is a worth goal."

My kids have good life skills - they've been taught cooking, cleaning, and budgeting.  The oldest who is 19 has already traveled independently for a year with money he saved.   He is almost finished first year engineering and has excelled in his classes, earning a scholarship.  Most importantly, he is a happy person.  Living at home doesn't mean he won't live independently later.  He will.  Living at home doesn't mean he is a mooch or we abscond from being parents.  We are assisting him with reaching his future goals in a way he has chosen.  He does his own laundry, does chores and is generally just a fun person to spend time with when he's not studying.

In between dependence and independence there is interdependence.  That middle ground where an adult child and parent have mutual desire to spend time together, but they each have their own individual responsibilities, passions, vision, purposes etc.  They need each other, and they are there for each other, involved in each other’s lives, and yet involved in their own life as well. 

"Interdependence models that relationships exist for mutual benefit and care given “as needed” and not derived from negative motives as one-sided obligation or guilt. In it’s purest form, it is freely given from a healthy adult." https://psychcentral.com/blog/developing-interdependence-in-children/

>Even if it's not explicit, anytime one party supports another, there are going to be obligations.  It's just human nature.

I don't look at this as a negative. In fact, I would never use the word obligation.  Having such a strong relationship that you want to help another is a gift and I see what I can do for my children that assists in their future lives as a gift for me, tempered by not overdoing it to the point that it creates dependence.

I think we are really just talking about different social models for family, which has been studied.

The first is an ‘independence’ pattern, which prioritizes the importance of leaving home in order to grow up. The second is an ‘interdependence’ pattern which supports the togetherness of the family and sees the family home as the best environment for young adults –i.e., they leave home only for ‘inevitable’ reasons related to work, education, or family formation. Both patterns are handed down over generations and are transmitted in the socialization process.  https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/14616696.2012.717634?src=recsys&journalCode=reus20
« Last Edit: March 29, 2018, 10:14:17 AM by totoro »

mathlete

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1103
Re: Is it time to move out of parents house?
« Reply #44 on: March 29, 2018, 10:13:54 AM »
Like OP, Steve Jobs also moved out and lived with roommates for awhile before eventually moving into his parent's tool shed.

Not saying OP is busy inventing the most valuable company on Earth while living with mom and dad, but they're certainly laying the groundwork for becoming a self-made millionaire, which is nothing to sneeze at.

My point is that I doubt anyone would say that Steve Jobs lacked life experience because he lived with his parents in his early 20s. Granted, he did go live in India for 6 months at one point.

So there's my solution!

Take $2K of that $18K and buy a plane ticket to somewhere else in the world while you're living at home. Never a better time to do it. You don't have to stay for 6 months of course, but if you feel you're lacking life experience, then there you go; life experience.

Really though, move out on your and your parent's own terms. If you feel cramped, or like you're missing out on something, go for it. Do what works for you and your parents rather than what society (or the forums) expects.

jlcnuke

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 887
Re: Is it time to move out of parents house?
« Reply #45 on: March 29, 2018, 10:36:22 AM »
I love my parents and I visit them often as I moved them to only be a 30 minute drive away from my house (bought my "forever home", moved them into it for their retirement first).  That said, I don't believe I became an independent adult with my own developed morals, values, etc until well after I became independent. To me, the cost of independence is well worth the experiences and independence that results in "becoming your own man" (which I don't personally believe really happens while a person is still under their parent's roof, subject to their rules etc). 

That said, my experience and opinion is just one of many. Plenty of cultures in the world have families all stay in the same abode for generations, and they don't seem to feel like they missed out on anything, so it really comes down to "what are you comfortable with". That said, I suggest you:

1. Make a list of all the reasons YOU would prefer to live on your own.
2. Make a list of all the reasons YOU would prefer to stay with your current arrangement.
3. Assign a personal "value" to each reason in both category.
4. Use those values to determine which you would rather do for now (recognizing that how much you value each reason may change over time, and new reasons may come to light).

Then make a rational decision based on what YOU want, not what I would do or what society tells you is "normal" etc. I'd just advise you not to be "ruled by one thing". I say that because you come across to me as "mostly caring about the monetary benefits of your situation". Money's nice, but if you look back on these years and regret how you lived them, then future you would probably say it wasn't worth it.

Dicey

  • Senior Mustachian
  • ********
  • Posts: 10881
  • Age: 61
  • Location: NorCal
Re: Is it time to move out of parents house?
« Reply #46 on: March 29, 2018, 10:40:39 AM »
^^Nice!^^

mak1277

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 788
Re: Is it time to move out of parents house?
« Reply #47 on: March 29, 2018, 11:19:41 AM »
In between dependence and independence there is interdependence.  That middle ground where an adult child and parent have mutual desire to spend time together, but they each have their own individual responsibilities, passions, vision, purposes etc.  They need each other, and they are there for each other, involved in each other’s lives, and yet involved in their own life as well. 


Perhaps cultural, but definitely personal.  What you describe...I don't desire that type of relationship with anyone except for my wife.  I didn't desire that kind of relationship with my parents and I hope when my son is old enough that I don't desire it with him.  I'll gladly pay his rent for him to live on his own...simply because I wouldn't want him living at home.  I don't even like having house guests, I definitely don't want another adult living with me full time.

totoro

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 2099
Re: Is it time to move out of parents house?
« Reply #48 on: March 29, 2018, 11:27:28 AM »
Perhaps cultural, but definitely personal.  What you describe...I don't desire that type of relationship with anyone except for my wife.  I didn't desire that kind of relationship with my parents and I hope when my son is old enough that I don't desire it with him.  I'll gladly pay his rent for him to live on his own...simply because I wouldn't want him living at home.  I don't even like having house guests, I definitely don't want another adult living with me full time.

Great.  You have clearly identified your own preferences. The OP has not entirely but seems to enjoy being at home, as his parents enjoy having him... and he is saving 18k a year. Seems like a good thing for now.

CoffeeR

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 201
  • Location: Southwest
Re: Is it time to move out of parents house?
« Reply #49 on: March 29, 2018, 11:41:25 AM »
I'm struggling to determine if it's worth moving out of my parent's place to my own apartment or keep saving money.
There is no one right answer. It total depends on family dynamics and relationships. Question: why are you "struggling"? Is it because of what you think society/friends/relations/etc is telling you to do? Or is it because their is an unmet desire/need/want/yearning within you? If you struggle with moving out because of what others (non-parents) are saying, implying or expecting, then I suggest you stay put. Living with your parents will deprive you of some experiences, but it will add others. You cannot have it all, no matter what anyone tells you. On the other hand, if you can identify the struggle and figure out it is something within you, then maybe you need to consider moving out.