Just to add numbers, because I consider us a relatively low-spend family. We are in a LCOL state, but a MCOL area and we are here for a job so relocation is not happening.
Our 2020 numbers are weird because of COVID, but in 2019 we spent just over 50k for a family of four. Honestly, other than charity, a vacation and a bad luck health year, going any lower would have been a squeeze for us that year:
11k is mortgage
8.5k of that is property taxes and insurances, town income taxes (Property taxes have almost tripled since we moved in 5 years ago, our frugal house isn't so frugal anymore!).
8.4k food (in a pinch I can get this number way lower, but it is still better than most Americans)
6.8k health insurance and towards deductible (unfortunately we had to go to the doctor in 2019 so that added a couple k here)
5.3k for utilities (cell, water, sewer, electric, gas, internet, life insurance)
3.9k part time childcare for youngest
3.6k to charity
1k school fees (full day kindergarten still costs in our township)
600 to cars
3.5k for everything else: vacation, haircuts, Christmas, summer camp for older kid, clothes, fun stuff, DH's various academic fees (most of this was a vacation and big kid's summer camp).
I guess the numbers don't quite add up because we paid the health deductible out of an old HSA that I funded back in the pre-child days and most of my tracking is paycheck in, payments out - but yeah around 50k for a family of four in 2019.