Is it the boredom?

[hoping2retire35]

This has been bothering me lately.

Our budget is bare bones. Things are streamlined. On the weekends we can take the kids to the park, maybe a short mountain trip, buy groceries, etc. Weekday evenings are very routine.

I don't need another trick to distract myself but a way to rewire my brain so I can just patiently wait this out; that is what is so difficult. I am sure it is in one of those 400 articles he wrote and I just skipped something and missed it.

[CowboyAndIndian]

Not in the blog, but in the forums.

https://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/welcome-to-the-forum/the-best-post-i-saw-today-on-the-mr-money-mustache-forums-was/msg889795/#msg889795

Looks like you have to move from step #7 to  step #8 ;-)

[LifeHappens]

On the weekends we can take the kids to the park, maybe a short mountain trip, buy groceries, etc. Weekday evenings are very routine.

Honestly, that sounds pretty boring to me, too. Some people thrive on routine and some of us (ME!!!) have a higher need for novelty and new experiences. Where do you fall on the scale of Routine<->Novelty?

[koshtra]

For me, "waiting" is always a bad sign... life isn't elsewhere or elsewhen. This is it.

I think you can come at it from either end. One is to undertake a new project -- hopefully one that requires new skills -- and the other is to work on the boredom itself, which means meditation. Meditation is hard and in the short run tends to amp up your discontent, so it can be a sort of risky undertaking. But it addresses the thing itself. I don't know anything else that really does.

You're totally right that what won't help is entertainment. I mean, it helps to pass the time, but basically it makes everything worse.

[GuitarStv]

For me, "waiting" is always a bad sign... life isn't elsewhere or elsewhen. This is it.

I think you can come at it from either end. One is to undertake a new project -- hopefully one that requires new skills -- and the other is to work on the boredom itself, which means meditation. Meditation is hard and in the short run tends to amp up your discontent, so it can be a sort of risky undertaking. But it addresses the thing itself. I don't know anything else that really does.

You're totally right that what won't help is entertainment. I mean, it helps to pass the time, but basically it makes everything worse.

Agreed.  What exactly are you waiting for?  The only thing that will be different when FIRE is that you have more time.  If you're bored with your life now, you're going to be even more bored later . . . figure out what makes you excited and interested in the world and start doing it now!

[marielle]

For me, "waiting" is always a bad sign... life isn't elsewhere or elsewhen. This is it.

I think you can come at it from either end. One is to undertake a new project -- hopefully one that requires new skills -- and the other is to work on the boredom itself, which means meditation. Meditation is hard and in the short run tends to amp up your discontent, so it can be a sort of risky undertaking. But it addresses the thing itself. I don't know anything else that really does.

You're totally right that what won't help is entertainment. I mean, it helps to pass the time, but basically it makes everything worse.

Agreed.  What exactly are you waiting for?  The only thing that will be different when FIRE is that you have more time.  If you're bored with your life now, you're going to be even more bored later . . . figure out what makes you excited and interested in the world and start doing it now!

What if it's travel and you get less than two weeks paid time off?

[ixtap]

For me, "waiting" is always a bad sign... life isn't elsewhere or elsewhen. This is it.

I think you can come at it from either end. One is to undertake a new project -- hopefully one that requires new skills -- and the other is to work on the boredom itself, which means meditation. Meditation is hard and in the short run tends to amp up your discontent, so it can be a sort of risky undertaking. But it addresses the thing itself. I don't know anything else that really does.

You're totally right that what won't help is entertainment. I mean, it helps to pass the time, but basically it makes everything worse.

Agreed.  What exactly are you waiting for?  The only thing that will be different when FIRE is that you have more time.  If you're bored with your life now, you're going to be even more bored later . . . figure out what makes you excited and interested in the world and start doing it now!

What if it's travel and you get less than two weeks paid time off?

If you can't entertain yourself where you are, you probably won't be much better off wherever you are headed.

If you want to travel to see different cultures, look around you to see where the community specific festivals are.

If you want to travel to climb mountains, find something to climb. Rock wall, stairs, it will all build the muscles to be more successful later.

If you want to travel to learn languages, invest in Rosetta Stone and seek out people who speak the language you want to learn.

If you want to travel to see different scenery, start by taking pictures of your local scenery. What does it take to appreciate what is already around you? Lighting? Finding small details of beauty?

[hoping2retire35]

For me, "waiting" is always a bad sign... life isn't elsewhere or elsewhen. This is it.

I think you can come at it from either end. One is to undertake a new project -- hopefully one that requires new skills -- and the other is to work on the boredom itself, which means meditation. Meditation is hard and in the short run tends to amp up your discontent, so it can be a sort of risky undertaking. But it addresses the thing itself. I don't know anything else that really does.

You're totally right that what won't help is entertainment. I mean, it helps to pass the time, but basically it makes everything worse.

Agreed.  What exactly are you waiting for?  The only thing that will be different when FIRE is that you have more time.  If you're bored with your life now, you're going to be even more bored later . . . figure out what makes you excited and interested in the world and start doing it now!

Yes I do these things. Part of it is just, practically, many hours during the week are going to be doing boring things; work, attentively watch the kids at the playground etc. But I have noticed that having another project can often just be a way to fill time, entertainment, which of course can be boring, like watching too much tv.

I definitely have projects and hobbies I would like to do but...time and money. Obviously I do have some time, but that is fairly constrained by amount and what can be done with kids around. I guess if I could think of a hobby that is entertaining and adds value then it would be more worth while...

Maybe that is what is wrong. Hobbies can seem like entertainment, hedonism. But If it is something that can add value to your life or something to be sold to add value to others then it is worthwhile.

[LifeHappens]

How old are your kids? From the way you are writing it sounds like you might just be in a hard stage of parenting.

[hoping2retire35]

5yo twins, baby is almost 3.

I try to engage them and do projects they can "help" with but most of that has run its course. I realize parenting at this stage is difficult and that is part of it, but thought it was something else.

[Ze Stash]

I found this reddit post helped with the situation you described. You shouldn't only save and then start living when you're finished saving. Actively build a life that you enjoy within your budget and then save for it until you can keep living that life without working at the same time.

https://www.reddit.com/r/financialindependence/comments/58j8pc/build_the_life_you_want_then_save_for_it/

[koshtra]

Oh my God, you're where the rubber meets the road! Yeah. This is just the real labor-intensive piece of parenting.

[Laura33]

For me, "waiting" is always a bad sign... life isn't elsewhere or elsewhen. This is it.

I think you can come at it from either end. One is to undertake a new project -- hopefully one that requires new skills -- and the other is to work on the boredom itself, which means meditation. Meditation is hard and in the short run tends to amp up your discontent, so it can be a sort of risky undertaking. But it addresses the thing itself. I don't know anything else that really does.

You're totally right that what won't help is entertainment. I mean, it helps to pass the time, but basically it makes everything worse.

Agreed.  What exactly are you waiting for?  The only thing that will be different when FIRE is that you have more time.  If you're bored with your life now, you're going to be even more bored later . . . figure out what makes you excited and interested in the world and start doing it now!

What if it's travel and you get less than two weeks paid time off?

If you can't entertain yourself where you are, you probably won't be much better off wherever you are headed.

Or, to quote that great philosopher Buckaroo Banzai, "just remember that wherever you go, there you are." 

You're still going to be you when FIRE'd, so if the life you're living now isn't satisfying, don't expect it to be magically better in another decade or so.*  Sounds like what you really need is a purpose -- not hobbies to while away the time, but something useful that makes you feel like you are using your talents and adding something good to the world. (If you find one, let me know -- this is what I am struggling with as well).

*Except that you are in the middle of the parenting suck, so give yourself at least a few years until the kids are more self-sufficient and less needy before you make any permanent decisions.

[AnnaGrowsAMustache]

Yeah, little kids are boring. Fact. Yes, they're adorable and funny and entertaining in short bursts. They're also quite boring a lot of the time.

Anyway, go to a different park. Camp outside in the backyard. Have a picnic. Go to the beach or a lake and make sandcastles in fall with a thermos of hot chocolate. Take the kids garage saling, and then sell what you find. Fly a kite. Go to the zoo (not usually cheap entry but can be a whole day out and educational as well). Go to the library.

[Turtles All the Way Down]

My kids are about the same age, and I'm struggling with the same "can't wait to get there so I can be happy".  I'm slowly discovering that I'm looking forward to having free-time from the dependents, not necessarily the FIRE itself.  And yes, of course, they are adorable and these times must be cherished.  But geeeeeezz how about a day off!

My goals are FIRE when the youngest is 18, or perhaps semi-retirement when she's 10.  I have to remind myself that happiness must come before FIRE.  I'm not worried...I know I'll get there.  And it is getting easier every year.

[WhiteTrashCash]

I handled the problem by getting back to doing the fun things I did as a kid. I play board games with friends. Ride my bicycle. Read library books. Practice guitar. Watch cool science fiction shows. Have picnics in the park. Etc.

You just have to retrain your mind to accept the fact that you don't need to spend money to enjoy yourself and be happy. There are plenty of other ways to get the brain chemicals you want.

[Freedomin5]

I try to find joy in the mundane, or build in joyful moments with my preschooler.

So for example, in winter, I'll make homemade gingerbread using stencils found online and make mini gingerbread houses. The kiddo then decorated her houses with cheap little candies from the dollar store or Bulk Barn. We also make pancakes into funky shapes like Mickey Mouse. Last week she was learning the letter V in her workbook, so we watched a YouTube video on volcanoes and then made a baking soda and vinegar volcano. When we go to the park, we pick up leaves, which we then paint and use as stencils. Even boring things like bathtime can be fun if we use the bubbles to make Mohawks, or bring in some plastic animals and have them play hide and seek amongst the bubbles.

Most of these things can be done with things around the house and are not expensive. It's about how you approach your mundane activities. So for example, going for a walk in the mountains is boring, but not if you look for animal tracks, pick up different leaves and learn which trees they come from, pick up rocks for crafts, etc.

[GuitarStv]

I try to find joy in the mundane, or build in joyful moments with my preschooler.

So for example, in winter, I'll make homemade gingerbread using stencils found online and make mini gingerbread houses. The kiddo then decorated her houses with cheap little candies from the dollar store or Bulk Barn. We also make pancakes into funky shapes like Mickey Mouse. Last week she was learning the letter V in her workbook, so we watched a YouTube video on volcanoes and then made a baking soda and vinegar volcano. When we go to the park, we pick up leaves, which we then paint and use as stencils. Even boring things like bathtime can be fun if we use the bubbles to make Mohawks, or bring in some plastic animals and have them play hide and seek amongst the bubbles.

Most of these things can be done with things around the house and are not expensive. It's about how you approach your mundane activities. So for example, going for a walk in the mountains is boring, but not if you look for animal tracks, pick up different leaves and learn which trees they come from, pick up rocks for crafts, etc.

GuitarStv Lazy Protip - Make gingerbread houses with graham crackers.  They're easy to use slabs, they taste better than any gingerbread I've had, and require no prep time.

[KarefulKactus15]

For me, "waiting" is always a bad sign... life isn't elsewhere or elsewhen. This is it.

I think you can come at it from either end. One is to undertake a new project -- hopefully one that requires new skills -- and the other is to work on the boredom itself, which means meditation. Meditation is hard and in the short run tends to amp up your discontent, so it can be a sort of risky undertaking. But it addresses the thing itself. I don't know anything else that really does.

You're totally right that what won't help is entertainment. I mean, it helps to pass the time, but basically it makes everything worse.

Agreed.  What exactly are you waiting for?  The only thing that will be different when FIRE is that you have more time.  If you're bored with your life now, you're going to be even more bored later . . . figure out what makes you excited and interested in the world and start doing it now!

What if it's travel and you get less than two weeks paid time off?

I would challenge that individual to do some lifestyle designing.        "What color is your parachute" is an excellent book on finding a dream job that you had no idea existed.      And I guess "the 4 hour work week" can really challenge ones ideas of the traditional work life balance.