The Position of Strength

[Emilyngh]

So, I've been thinking about this post a lot recently: http://www.mrmoneymustache.com/2013/11/11/get-rich-with-the-position-of-strength/

I've been offered an additional administrative duty at work for a significant chunk of additional pay.   My first reaction to being asked was to be honored and since it really won't take much extra time relative to the money, to assume I'd accept it.   But, as I've been pondering it, it has really hit me how much I would hate this duty (think, being in charge of everyone getting their TPS reports in on time).   

And in thinking about it, it's hit me that 5 years ago DH and I left high paying jobs we hated for me to have a job I love and him to be a SAHD.   And since this job has actually wound up being pretty much as great as I hoped while still completely supporting us and allowing us to still stache, why would I sell back some of this?

Not to mention, well-paying side-gigs that I enjoy have been falling into my lap recently.   Seriously, I'm not even looking and get offers to take others' money to do things that I do enjoy.

Not to mention, when DH took a class at a local technical school to explore a hobby interest of his this spring, the teacher recommended he spoke to a local shop that needs help.   They hired him on the spot for part-time work doing this hobby.   *And* since they needed him they were super flexible with his hours, and since my job is so flexible, we were able to arrange things so that one of us can always still be home with out daughter this spring and summer.   And since DD is going to preschool in the fall, even when my work picks up then, there's a good chance DH will be bringing in some PT income doing something he is really interested in.

So, it hit me that I can really say no to this new job duty.  And since I really won't enjoy it and it won't add to our lives in a way that I truly value, I *should* say no. That while I was fearful when we left our high paying jobs that we wouldn't be able to pay the bills (not even imagining working towards FIRE), that fear has been shown completely irrational.   And that even better than FU money is the FU confidence that we can make more than enough money doing only things we want to do so that I can turn down money, even for relatively easy work, if I'm just not interested. 

Yeah, it's amazing how a position of strength can unlock your brain to see things in an entirely different way.

[hokiegb]

Congratulations! Learning how to say "no" can be a very difficult thing.

[Retired To Win]

Absolutely say NO.  And congratulations on being clear thinking enough to see that extra money is not always worth the trouble.

Good luck.

[Rural]

You're in higher ed, right? Say no. I said yes to one, but it's only a limite-term commitment. Thank goodness.


And good for you for realizing you can say no.

[misschedda]

What a great situation to be in. Good for you saying no!

[Emilyngh]

You're in higher ed, right? Say no. I said yes to one, but it's only a limite-term commitment. Thank goodness.


And good for you for realizing you can say no.

Yes, I am, Rural.   I feel special that you remembered that :)

And while I'm not against considering some kind of administrative duty one day that is something I might actually enjoy and/or really value, especially for a limited term, I just realized that this particular one would really suck.   So, why choose to do something that would suck when I could say no.  I know, should be obvious, but I don't know if I would have seen it the same way even a year ago :)

[forummm]

The Position of Strength has helped me say no to things too. And most of them don't come with any money. It feels good. I already do too much as it is anyway.

[Rural]

You're in higher ed, right? Say no. I said yes to one, but it's only a limite-term commitment. Thank goodness.


And good for you for realizing you can say no.

Yes, I am, Rural.   I feel special that you remembered that :)

And while I'm not against considering some kind of administrative duty one day that is something I might actually enjoy and/or really value, especially for a limited term, I just realized that this particular one would really suck.   So, why choose to do something that would suck when I could say no.  I know, should be obvious, but I don't know if I would have seen it the same way even a year ago :)

Good for your. And I agree there are some admin positions worth taking (I'm positioning myself for one now, in fact), but there are a great many that decidedly are not.

[hamildub]

I just recently quit my job because I said yes too much to the point of being in a position where I wasn't getting paid more unless i worked overtime. I'm in the middle of unwinding it all and I think people are realizing why I'm always so wound up.

[earlyFI]

Congrats!

Thanks for sharing your experience. You are in a great position. And now that you have said no, you are in an ever better place because you are doing what you really want to do, what brings you the most happiness and flexibility.

[HenryDavid]

If you are in higher ed and you decline some kind of admin type position . . . do so tactfully. Don't imply things like "I don't think this kind of work is as valuable as what I'm doing now." Have a reason the person offering the job can understand, on their terms, not yours.
People offering these positions might well imagine they are the only desirable positions--since they have them.
They may be miffed, or even insulted, by anyone who does not jump at the opportunity. They may be in a position to, sort of, punish the refusal. Or something.
Maybe this doesn't apply in your case.
But it can happen . . . tread carefully.

[Emilyngh]

If you are in higher ed and you decline some kind of admin type position . . . do so tactfully. Don't imply things like "I don't think this kind of work is as valuable as what I'm doing now." Have a reason the person offering the job can understand, on their terms, not yours.
People offering these positions might well imagine they are the only desirable positions--since they have them.
They may be miffed, or even insulted, by anyone who does not jump at the opportunity. They may be in a position to, sort of, punish the refusal. Or something.
Maybe this doesn't apply in your case.
But it can happen . . . tread carefully.

Thanks for the reminder.   It can be easy for us to forget that not everyone has the same values/priorities and putting down a job can be offensive to someone who has a similar role.   Luckily, I think that I stayed away from being insulting (and happen to genuinely like and respect the person, so hopefully that came through) but it's a great reminder b/c I can have a big mouth and sometimes forget that not everyone shares my  worldview.   

[Ricky]

I think you're making the right choice by passing. Simple stuff, but hard to do in practice! Hope everything goes well.

[OldPro]

Most people wish for a promotion in their job and the usually accompanying increase in pay.  Most probably do not consider what they will have to do in return for that increase.  As the saying, 'be careful what you wish for, you just might get it' suggests, the price you pay might just be more than you expected in that case.  As another saying says, 'there ain't no free lunch'.

So it's always wise to realistically weigh the pros and cons rather than just blindly accepting.