Author Topic: Inappropriate Family Gift Stories  (Read 19796 times)

trailrated

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1136
  • Age: 36
  • Location: Bay Area Ca
  • a smooth sea never made a skilled sailor
Inappropriate Family Gift Stories
« on: October 24, 2016, 01:44:22 PM »
Background: I have a toddler and am currently engaged to a wonderful woman. The best way I can think of to describe my mother is that she is very loving and generous, pretty right wing when it comes to politics (without the specific knowledge of issues to back it up) and recently kind of quasi religious which I find entertaining and more of a front because I think we went to church maybe twice a year if that while growing up. My fiance on the other hand is not religious in any way (describes herself as more spiritual) and leans pretty left on the political spectrum. Till this point her and my mother have gotten along very well.

I love my mother dearly but she did something incredibly awkward the other day.

My brother had a surprise birthday party at my house and my mom joined the festivities. Most of us were drinking throughout the day having a good time. When my mom went to leave that evening my brother and I walked her to her car and she gave me a bag with some books (I love reading) for myself and my fiance with post its for what was for who. I thought nothing of it and did not open it. When I came back in the house my fiance noticed and we opened it together. Alcohol I am sure enhanced the reaction but she opened it to find a book with her name on it titled.... and I shit you not... Parenthood: by none other than the bastion of altruism, Bill Cosby.

I was slightly intoxicated and laughing at how absurd and tone deaf it was, which I think furthered the response more. My fiance was incredibly offended and asked why I didn't get a book on How to Treat Women with Respect by Donald Trump, or How to be Open, Honest, and Transparent by Hillary Clinton. I have yet to address my mom regarding this "gift" but it has certainly caused more trouble than it was worth.

I am sure it does not have chapters on how to drug and rape women, but still I have to agree it was lacking in empathy at best. Can anyone else top this?

Us2bCool

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 88
Re: Inappropriate Family Gift Stories
« Reply #1 on: October 24, 2016, 02:03:03 PM »
I'd be curious as to why exactly your fiancee was offended by this. Does she think you mom was trying to send a message by giving her the book?  I don't think there's anything in it that talks about either religion or politics...it's just a funny book of anecdotes about raising kids.

That book (btw it's called Fatherhood) was written in 1987, when Bill Cosby and the Cosby Show was at the peak of popularity. At the time Cosby was loved almost universally and seen as a father figure to an entire generation. Maybe your mom wasn't thinking, or maybe she didn't think the current issue was relevant. Is it possible your mom didn't even register that it was Bill Cosby's book, and that she just had it in her bookcase, thought "oh, here's a funny book on parenting, I'll bet trailrated's fiancee will enjoy reading this"?

Just some speculation. Either way, I can't see any good that would come out of mentioning it to your mom.

trailrated

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1136
  • Age: 36
  • Location: Bay Area Ca
  • a smooth sea never made a skilled sailor
Re: Inappropriate Family Gift Stories
« Reply #2 on: October 24, 2016, 02:28:39 PM »
I looked it up and you are correct. I do think my mom had good intentions, I just find the context based on recent events made it awkward.

englishteacheralex

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 3924
  • Age: 44
  • Location: Honolulu, HI
Re: Inappropriate Family Gift Stories
« Reply #3 on: October 24, 2016, 02:35:37 PM »
Background: I have a toddler and am currently engaged to a wonderful woman. The best way I can think of to describe my mother is that she is very loving and generous, pretty right wing when it comes to politics (without the specific knowledge of issues to back it up) and recently kind of quasi religious which I find entertaining and more of a front because I think we went to church maybe twice a year if that while growing up. My fiance on the other hand is not religious in any way (describes herself as more spiritual) and leans pretty left on the political spectrum. Till this point her and my mother have gotten along very well.

I love my mother dearly but she did something incredibly awkward the other day.

My brother had a surprise birthday party at my house and my mom joined the festivities. Most of us were drinking throughout the day having a good time. When my mom went to leave that evening my brother and I walked her to her car and she gave me a bag with some books (I love reading) for myself and my fiance with post its for what was for who. I thought nothing of it and did not open it. When I came back in the house my fiance noticed and we opened it together. Alcohol I am sure enhanced the reaction but she opened it to find a book with her name on it titled.... and I shit you not... Parenthood: by none other than the bastion of altruism, Bill Cosby.

I was slightly intoxicated and laughing at how absurd and tone deaf it was, which I think furthered the response more. My fiance was incredibly offended and asked why I didn't get a book on How to Treat Women with Respect by Donald Trump, or How to be Open, Honest, and Transparent by Hillary Clinton. I have yet to address my mom regarding this "gift" but it has certainly caused more trouble than it was worth.

I am sure it does not have chapters on how to drug and rape women, but still I have to agree it was lacking in empathy at best. Can anyone else top this?

It's actually a pretty funny book. Mostly his stand up written down. Obviously in light of his horrible crimes it is now very ironic, but he was a prolific entertainer and there's an enormous body of work out there that is now pretty much ruined by the person he turned out to be. Oh well. Not the first time a celebrity let us down, won't be the last.

Why be offended? It's just kind of clueless, not offensive.

Goldielocks

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 7062
  • Location: BC
Re: Inappropriate Family Gift Stories
« Reply #4 on: October 24, 2016, 02:54:52 PM »
I can top that!  Yours just seems like an oversight.  (I enjoyed this book years ago, and thought you would too...)

My husband bought me an iron for Christmas once.  (Not my only present, but significant)..
He even stated that he noticed that I disliked ironing, so thought I would appreciate a top of the line iron to help out.
--Hmmm  I think I stopped ironing ANYTHING of his after that.

Two years later, he bought me a car cleaning kit.  (So I could wash his car better?!)  His thought was that I had just bought a "new to me" car that I liked.   Again, I was the one taking time to clean both of our cars back then... it looked  like a hint that I should wash his car more.

Then there was the year he purchased and wrapped up a vacuum "for the cat"...  well, he was learning... but not the right things.  (as He doesn't vacuum, really, either)


:-)  He's still around so there must be something I really like about him....

Sibley

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 7453
  • Location: Northwest Indiana
Re: Inappropriate Family Gift Stories
« Reply #5 on: October 24, 2016, 03:01:15 PM »
Kinda sad in the end, but as a 10-12 year old, I got baby clothes from my grandmother.

Since it turned out that she had dementia, we're guessing she got confused about how old I was.

Goldielocks

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 7062
  • Location: BC
Re: Inappropriate Family Gift Stories
« Reply #6 on: October 24, 2016, 03:20:51 PM »
Kinda sad in the end, but as a 10-12 year old, I got baby clothes from my grandmother.

Since it turned out that she had dementia, we're guessing she got confused about how old I was.

Ah, the relatives....

I used to get hand knit sweaters from my Aunt, that were always at least 2 sizes too small.  She, too, could not remember how old I was, yet spent 3 months knitting the darn things each year.   I would try to stretch them to make them fit for Christmas dinner / holding down the cuffs with my fingers, etc.  trying not to wince  (She would visit from out of town).

moof

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 809
  • Location: Beaver Town Orygun
Re: Inappropriate Family Gift Stories
« Reply #7 on: October 24, 2016, 04:37:32 PM »
I tried for the last few years to ask for just a nice picture in a frame.  To date I received none.  I still get tacky crap that mostly gets tossed in the closet to "age" for a while before being disposed of.  Oh well.  It is best to be thankful for the thought and effort, even if the execution and judgement are horrible.

I also really caught my wife off guard with family matters.  She asked if I wanted to be excluded from her SIL's monthly photo stream (mostly of my recently born nephew).  The way she asked was to make it easy to excuse myself from annoying in-law burdens.  My response of "Only if SIL doesn't want me to be part of his life." was not at all what she expected.  I look through and enjoy the pictures every month.

NV Teacher

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 560
Re: Inappropriate Family Gift Stories
« Reply #8 on: October 24, 2016, 04:49:16 PM »
I had a friend once tell me that for Christmas one year her step-mother wrapped up some her dad's outdated clothes and gave them to her husband as a gift.  My friend didn't say anything, she just tucked the clothes away, wrapped them up the next Christmas and gave them back to her dad.  The step-mother was insulted and made a bit of a stink.  What goes around comes around.

Josiecat

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 311
Re: Inappropriate Family Gift Stories
« Reply #9 on: October 24, 2016, 04:57:10 PM »
Meh.  Does fiancé get easily offended a lot?  If so, you might want to rethink the marriage thing.  Seems like a drama queen.

spicykissa

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 157
Re: Inappropriate Family Gift Stories
« Reply #10 on: October 24, 2016, 05:03:12 PM »
My grandma, rest her soul, was the queen of inappropriate gifts. My favorite was when she gave my fiance (now my husband) a "BOD" cologne gift set. It said "I love your BOD!" on the packaging. Rather than just buy some other cologne (it must have been on super sale--Grandma was quite Mustachian), she put stickers with Bible verses on the box to cover up the offending words. So incredibly awkward to open on Christmas morning!

sisto

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1085
  • Age: 55
  • Location: Sacramento, CA
Re: Inappropriate Family Gift Stories
« Reply #11 on: October 24, 2016, 05:51:00 PM »
I had my aunt and uncle come visit us once in order to bring a bible to my child. Found that highly inappropriate and insulting. They didn't ask first, which I did not like. They lived quite far away at the time and made a special trip just for this purpose. I suppose they decided he was young enough to save still as he was maybe 4 at the time. LOL

markbike528CBX

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1905
  • Location: the Everbrown part of the Evergreen State (WA)
Re: Inappropriate Family Gift Stories
« Reply #12 on: October 24, 2016, 08:16:49 PM »
I was in 3d grade, and clearly reading at 5th+ grade level.
My retired English teacher great Aunt got me The Cat in the Hat by Dr. Seuss
   At the time I was somewhere between agast and mortally offended.

Now that I have married into having 9 grand kids,  I have total sympathy.

I was hoping for an adult toy for grandparent story from the thread title.
« Last Edit: October 24, 2016, 08:20:11 PM by markbike528CBX »

driftwood

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 397
  • Age: 43
Re: Inappropriate Family Gift Stories
« Reply #13 on: October 25, 2016, 01:29:54 AM »
I had a friend once tell me that for Christmas one year her step-mother wrapped up some her dad's outdated clothes and gave them to her husband as a gift.  My friend didn't say anything, she just tucked the clothes away, wrapped them up the next Christmas and gave them back to her dad.  The step-mother was insulted and made a bit of a stink.  What goes around comes around.

Well-played!

HappierAtHome

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 8015
  • Location: Australia
Re: Inappropriate Family Gift Stories
« Reply #14 on: October 25, 2016, 04:29:25 AM »
An old boss once received worn/dirty crotchless panties from her mother in law.

Ebrat

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 239
Re: Inappropriate Family Gift Stories
« Reply #15 on: October 25, 2016, 06:52:27 AM »
Thong underwear 2 sizes too small from my ex-MIL.  In my stocking on Christmas morning so the whole family got to see me receive them.

mbl

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 331
Re: Inappropriate Family Gift Stories
« Reply #16 on: October 25, 2016, 07:02:06 AM »
I had my aunt and uncle come visit us once in order to bring a bible to my child. Found that highly inappropriate and insulting. They didn't ask first, which I did not like. They lived quite far away at the time and made a special trip just for this purpose. I suppose they decided he was young enough to save still as he was maybe 4 at the time. LOL

Wow....you were insulted.
Sounds like they went out of their way to do something that they thought was loving.
Amazing how you managed to twist it to be defined as " inappropriate and insulting."

meg_shannon

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 167
Re: Inappropriate Family Gift Stories
« Reply #17 on: October 25, 2016, 07:08:56 AM »
I would be insulted if a family went out of their way to evangelize to my child as well. Usually this is done by family members who don't have a lot contact otherwise, and it's obvious that the only reason they're there is to "save" your child.

I had my aunt and uncle come visit us once in order to bring a bible to my child. Found that highly inappropriate and insulting. They didn't ask first, which I did not like. They lived quite far away at the time and made a special trip just for this purpose. I suppose they decided he was young enough to save still as he was maybe 4 at the time. LOL

Wow....you were insulted.
Sounds like they went out of their way to do something that they thought was loving.
Amazing how you managed to twist it to be defined as " inappropriate and insulting."

Slow&Steady

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 698
  • Location: Midwest
Re: Inappropriate Family Gift Stories
« Reply #18 on: October 25, 2016, 07:33:43 AM »
I had my aunt and uncle come visit us once in order to bring a bible to my child. Found that highly inappropriate and insulting. They didn't ask first, which I did not like. They lived quite far away at the time and made a special trip just for this purpose. I suppose they decided he was young enough to save still as he was maybe 4 at the time. LOL

Wow....you were insulted.
Sounds like they went out of their way to do something that they thought was loving.
Amazing how you managed to twist it to be defined as " inappropriate and insulting."

I too would be insulted.  I am not Christian and all of my close family is aware of that.  My brother and his wife did make us a wonderful picture book of maternity photos with Christian poem in the back.  They asked before they gave it to us/my child, it was a heart felt poem and not intended to imply that they are going to "save" my child, we gladly accepted the gift and it sits in my daughters nightstand.  By implying you are "saving" my child you are implying that I am doing something wrong in the way that I choose to raise my child.  If my child chooses to explore the Christian believes when she is older that is her freedom and I will support her choice, I will not support family/friends trying to force Christianity on her at such a young age.

Now for my inappropriate family gift.  When I was probably 10 years old I convinced my dad that my mom wanted a new vacuum for Mother's Day and 20+ years later she still gives me a hard time about it.  Probably a week before Mother's Day I remember her complaining that she hated that vacuum, so when Dad asked what we should get her for Mother's Day I immediately told him a vacuum.  I am sure it probably asked me a couple times if I was sure but I am pretty strong willed so in the end we gave her a vacuum for Mother's Day.  I learned, she now gets flowers, massage gift certificates, a mother/daughter lunch date, anything but house keeping type of tools. 

Sibley

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 7453
  • Location: Northwest Indiana
Re: Inappropriate Family Gift Stories
« Reply #19 on: October 25, 2016, 07:47:48 AM »
This is fun actually, remembering all the crazy things I've gotten.

My grandfather's wife (we had no contact with either of them and it was probably for the best) picked out presents for my sister and I, when they remembered we existed. One year we got Disney themed umbrellas, but toddler sized while we were 8-10ish. Another year we got matching barrette sets which were shaped like different kinds of bugs. I have an irrational fear of bugs, my mom has a full on phobia, and my sister doesn't much like them either. And it was my MOM's father. Those went straight into the donate pile.

My ex-BF's mother gave me a daily inspirational reading book. Highly religious of course. Wasn't offended, but also didn't read it and didn't keep it.

My friend doesn't give me inappropriate gifts, but she has a talent for getting things that I don't want. Purses, a book (which I already owned and was planning to get rid of), knitted scarves made of yarn I can't wear, etc.

MandyM

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 543
  • Location: Lexington, KY
Re: Inappropriate Family Gift Stories
« Reply #20 on: October 25, 2016, 07:49:01 AM »
https://www.buzzfeed.com/jamiejones/inappropriate-gifts-from-family?utm_term=.wjd2BNzq0Z#.oeaqA8O2ny

A friend of mine regularly got Christmas gifts from her parents implying that she needed to lose weight. One year it was a cook book (low cal or low fat or whatever). The next year it was a gift certificate for a hypnotist for weight loss - since the cook book "didn't take."

lizzzi

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 2150
Re: Inappropriate Family Gift Stories
« Reply #21 on: October 25, 2016, 08:14:02 AM »
My cousin's husband is a photographer, and has done some nice things. But as a hostess gift after a few days when she stayed with me,  my cousin gave me one of his photos that was okay, but had absolutely no meaning for me (a moody seascape with a ship and a dark shoreline), and was glued to a cardboard mat in a color that did not enhance the photo at all. I am super-picky about what I display in my house, and all my wall art is chosen carefully and has a lot of personal meaning to me. I just didn't want to display this photo, and in thinking about it, I would never give something as a gift that was meant to be home decor.  The exception might be an inexpensive holiday decoration--just for fun, meant to be displayed very short-term if at all, and easy to donate if not wanted.

geekette

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 2555
Re: Inappropriate Family Gift Stories
« Reply #22 on: October 25, 2016, 09:21:53 AM »
My DH's aunt gave me (and all the nieces) shoulder pads for Christmas.  About a decade after that fad faded...

mm1970

  • Senior Mustachian
  • ********
  • Posts: 10924
Re: Inappropriate Family Gift Stories
« Reply #23 on: October 25, 2016, 09:30:46 AM »
Kinda sad in the end, but as a 10-12 year old, I got baby clothes from my grandmother.

Since it turned out that she had dementia, we're guessing she got confused about how old I was.
My mother was in the habit of buying the three kids sweats for Christmas.  My sister practically lives in them when she gets out of work, so fine.  I enjoyed them for a bit too, but since they don't really wear out, two pairs (of sweat shirts and sweat pants) are good for me.  Especially after I moved to So. Cal.

Well in my 20's after I got married and got out of the Navy, I gained a bunch of weight.  (5'2", topped out at 182 pounds...the only time I beat that weight was max pregnancy weight with kid #2).  At age 31-32 I worked on it and lost >50 pounds, and kept it off.

But even years later, my mother couldn't adjust.  She would buy me XL sweaters for Christmas.  And then, a few years after all the weight loss...she got me a set of sweats.  I was pregnant.

The top was a size small...now, I was generally a S or a M.  But I was 6 months pregnant.  So yeah, that wasn't going to fit.  The pants were a large (which was appropriate) but they were also "extra long".  I mean, did I mention that I'm 5'2"?

Anyway they got donated.

MBot

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 506
Re: Inappropriate Family Gift Stories
« Reply #24 on: October 25, 2016, 09:40:23 AM »
I had my aunt and uncle come visit us once in order to bring a bible to my child. Found that highly inappropriate and insulting. They didn't ask first, which I did not like. They lived quite far away at the time and made a special trip just for this purpose. I suppose they decided he was young enough to save still as he was maybe 4 at the time. LOL

That's so weird and disrespectful. I'm a Christian and I would never do that.

The flip side is where I find I get inappropriate gifts - I'm always being given really sentimental pop-level religious books or mugs or journals -- which don't match either my beliefs or my aesthetic sensibilities.

"Oh, you must LOVE this Chicken Soup for the Religious Soul Pink Gingham Pink  Coffee Mug and Bible Cookbook Set"..... haha.

One time I think we fell into this kind of trap as givers was one Christmas.... , we live far away from family and always ask them to tell us what the other family members want for Christmas when we come down for the holidays.

 Once  my mother-in-law, who's not particularly religious; said my sister-in-law wanted a kids Bible for her daughter. So we got one. But looking back I'm not sure if she really did want one and it was a welcome gift...or she just told my MIL that and we gave a gift that was not actually what they wanted. So awkward.

The next year we bought them Lego. No awkwardness there.

DA

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 73
Re: Inappropriate Family Gift Stories
« Reply #25 on: October 25, 2016, 09:40:39 AM »
Background: I have a toddler and am currently engaged to a wonderful woman. The best way I can think of to describe my mother is that she is very loving and generous, pretty right wing when it comes to politics (without the specific knowledge of issues to back it up) and recently kind of quasi religious which I find entertaining and more of a front because I think we went to church maybe twice a year if that while growing up. My fiance on the other hand is not religious in any way (describes herself as more spiritual) and leans pretty left on the political spectrum. Till this point her and my mother have gotten along very well.

I love my mother dearly but she did something incredibly awkward the other day.

My brother had a surprise birthday party at my house and my mom joined the festivities. Most of us were drinking throughout the day having a good time. When my mom went to leave that evening my brother and I walked her to her car and she gave me a bag with some books (I love reading) for myself and my fiance with post its for what was for who. I thought nothing of it and did not open it. When I came back in the house my fiance noticed and we opened it together. Alcohol I am sure enhanced the reaction but she opened it to find a book with her name on it titled.... and I shit you not... Parenthood: by none other than the bastion of altruism, Bill Cosby.

I was slightly intoxicated and laughing at how absurd and tone deaf it was, which I think furthered the response more. My fiance was incredibly offended and asked why I didn't get a book on How to Treat Women with Respect by Donald Trump, or How to be Open, Honest, and Transparent by Hillary Clinton. I have yet to address my mom regarding this "gift" but it has certainly caused more trouble than it was worth.

I am sure it does not have chapters on how to drug and rape women, but still I have to agree it was lacking in empathy at best. Can anyone else top this?

I think you're being a little silly/immature here, and letting politics blind you.  Most people who become rich and famous are pretty shitty human beings, regardless of their politics.  I haven't read Cosby's book, but given his work on the Cosby show, it's probably pretty funny and contains some useful wisdom, regardless of what he's done in his personal life.

Would you be "incredibly offended" if your mother gave the Autobiography of Malcolm X, given that Malcolm X was a known pimp (in the literal sense of that term), burglar, and was a very public racist and anti-Semite?  Or how about True Compass by Ted Kennedy, the Democratic Senator and hero who almost certainly killed a young woman he was hooking up with because he wanted to avoid an adultery scandal?  Would that be a "tone deaf" gift?

MBot

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 506
Re: Inappropriate Family Gift Stories
« Reply #26 on: October 25, 2016, 09:43:58 AM »
(I type this as I'm drinking coffee out of one of the sentimental silly mugs I was given a few years ag...  because it may not be my thing, but it's still annoyingly one of the best mugs (in 2-cup capacity and base stability) that I own. Ah well.

Capsu78

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 765
  • Location: Chicagoland
Re: Inappropriate Family Gift Stories
« Reply #27 on: October 25, 2016, 09:56:03 AM »
You can put the copy of BC's book on my bookshelf next to my personalized autographed copy of "Touched" by Jerry Sandusky I once got at a book signing exactly a decade before the Jerry Sandusky scandal broke- a story of his lifelong passion to help children from broken homes- while he hid his pedophilia in plane sight.  Had pictures of him mud wrestling with teens for charity!  And yet hundreds of well trained "child rescue industry" professionals he came into contact with over 35 years never spotted anything peculiar about him.
« Last Edit: October 25, 2016, 09:57:39 AM by Capsu78 »

Miss Piggy

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1551
Re: Inappropriate Family Gift Stories
« Reply #28 on: October 25, 2016, 10:27:04 AM »
You can put the copy of BC's book on my bookshelf next to my personalized autographed copy of "Touched" by Jerry Sandusky

So very, very wrong.

He had everyone snowed, didn't he? Well, both of them did.

DA

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 73
Re: Inappropriate Family Gift Stories
« Reply #29 on: October 25, 2016, 10:36:03 AM »
You can put the copy of BC's book on my bookshelf next to my personalized autographed copy of "Touched" by Jerry Sandusky I once got at a book signing exactly a decade before the Jerry Sandusky scandal broke- a story of his lifelong passion to help children from broken homes- while he hid his pedophilia in plane sight.  Had pictures of him mud wrestling with teens for charity!  And yet hundreds of well trained "child rescue industry" professionals he came into contact with over 35 years never spotted anything peculiar about him.

Jeez, this almost sounds like it's from The Onion.  I actually had to look it up just make sure the book was real. 

partgypsy

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 5226
Re: Inappropriate Family Gift Stories
« Reply #30 on: October 25, 2016, 11:06:13 AM »
I have a couple, but one that sticks out, is soon after giving birth to my first child my mother gifts me a semi-sheer blush/nude colored nightgown. Needless to say the last thing I'd feel like wearing at that point in my life.

 

WootWoot

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 365
Re: Inappropriate Family Gift Stories
« Reply #31 on: October 25, 2016, 11:46:45 AM »
My mother (now age 79) really enjoyed the American Songbook albums that Rod Stewart recorded. So when Rod the Mod was coming to play at the local arena, my brother bought her two tickets to the show. At the last minute, bro got sick, and mom asked me to go to the show. I had seen Rod back in '84 and really enjoyed it.

I think mom was totally overwhelmed by her first and (so far as I know) only rock concert. "Too loud," she said thereafter.

I know my brother meant well, but I think the whole thing was a bit of a non sequitur.

Frugalman19

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 257
Re: Inappropriate Family Gift Stories
« Reply #32 on: October 25, 2016, 12:31:07 PM »
Background: I have a toddler and am currently engaged to a wonderful woman. The best way I can think of to describe my mother is that she is very loving and generous, pretty right wing when it comes to politics (without the specific knowledge of issues to back it up) and recently kind of quasi religious which I find entertaining and more of a front because I think we went to church maybe twice a year if that while growing up. My fiance on the other hand is not religious in any way (describes herself as more spiritual) and leans pretty left on the political spectrum. Till this point her and my mother have gotten along very well.

I love my mother dearly but she did something incredibly awkward the other day.

My brother had a surprise birthday party at my house and my mom joined the festivities. Most of us were drinking throughout the day having a good time. When my mom went to leave that evening my brother and I walked her to her car and she gave me a bag with some books (I love reading) for myself and my fiance with post its for what was for who. I thought nothing of it and did not open it. When I came back in the house my fiance noticed and we opened it together. Alcohol I am sure enhanced the reaction but she opened it to find a book with her name on it titled.... and I shit you not... Parenthood: by none other than the bastion of altruism, Bill Cosby.

I was slightly intoxicated and laughing at how absurd and tone deaf it was, which I think furthered the response more. My fiance was incredibly offended and asked why I didn't get a book on How to Treat Women with Respect by Donald Trump, or How to be Open, Honest, and Transparent by Hillary Clinton. I have yet to address my mom regarding this "gift" but it has certainly caused more trouble than it was worth.

I am sure it does not have chapters on how to drug and rape women, but still I have to agree it was lacking in empathy at best. Can anyone else top this?

Sounds like your fiancee needs to relax. If this is how she acts all the time, you have a tough road ahead of you my friend. My wife, who is a hard core feminist, would still find the humor in this situation and would also find the humor in all the titles your wife mentioned above.

I would run for the hills

renata ricotta

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 703
Re: Inappropriate Family Gift Stories
« Reply #33 on: October 25, 2016, 12:51:02 PM »
I have a couple, but one that sticks out, is soon after giving birth to my first child my mother gifts me a semi-sheer blush/nude colored nightgown. Needless to say the last thing I'd feel like wearing at that point in my life.

And even if you had felt like wearing it, what an awkward gift to get from your mother. Anything remotely sexual or sexuality-adjacent should be off the table for mom or MIL gifts.

sisto

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1085
  • Age: 55
  • Location: Sacramento, CA
Re: Inappropriate Family Gift Stories
« Reply #34 on: October 25, 2016, 03:15:54 PM »
I had my aunt and uncle come visit us once in order to bring a bible to my child. Found that highly inappropriate and insulting. They didn't ask first, which I did not like. They lived quite far away at the time and made a special trip just for this purpose. I suppose they decided he was young enough to save still as he was maybe 4 at the time. LOL

Wow....you were insulted.
Sounds like they went out of their way to do something that they thought was loving.
Amazing how you managed to twist it to be defined as " inappropriate and insulting."

Who do you think you are telling me I'm twisting something? Nothing was twisted this was my Uncle's wife, he's now divorced from her, that thought our whole family was going to hell. She's a bit crazy and fanatical and I suppose convinced him they needed to do it. As someone else stated this occurs due to us not seeing them much. I believe that to be true, but also due to them isolating or at least my uncle was maybe due to being embarrassed by his wife. I don't know, but I do know for sure it's up to me to decide how to raise my child and whether or not it includes religion.

sisto

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1085
  • Age: 55
  • Location: Sacramento, CA
Re: Inappropriate Family Gift Stories
« Reply #35 on: October 25, 2016, 03:17:50 PM »
I would be insulted if a family went out of their way to evangelize to my child as well. Usually this is done by family members who don't have a lot contact otherwise, and it's obvious that the only reason they're there is to "save" your child.

I had my aunt and uncle come visit us once in order to bring a bible to my child. Found that highly inappropriate and insulting. They didn't ask first, which I did not like. They lived quite far away at the time and made a special trip just for this purpose. I suppose they decided he was young enough to save still as he was maybe 4 at the time. LOL



Wow....you were insulted.
Sounds like they went out of their way to do something that they thought was loving.
Amazing how you managed to twist it to be defined as " inappropriate and insulting."

Thanks meg_shannon! Exactly the scenario you stated too.

sisto

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1085
  • Age: 55
  • Location: Sacramento, CA
Re: Inappropriate Family Gift Stories
« Reply #36 on: October 25, 2016, 03:20:32 PM »
I had my aunt and uncle come visit us once in order to bring a bible to my child. Found that highly inappropriate and insulting. They didn't ask first, which I did not like. They lived quite far away at the time and made a special trip just for this purpose. I suppose they decided he was young enough to save still as he was maybe 4 at the time. LOL

That's so weird and disrespectful. I'm a Christian and I would never do that.

The flip side is where I find I get inappropriate gifts - I'm always being given really sentimental pop-level religious books or mugs or journals -- which don't match either my beliefs or my aesthetic sensibilities.

"Oh, you must LOVE this Chicken Soup for the Religious Soul Pink Gingham Pink  Coffee Mug and Bible Cookbook Set"..... haha.

One time I think we fell into this kind of trap as givers was one Christmas.... , we live far away from family and always ask them to tell us what the other family members want for Christmas when we come down for the holidays.

 Once  my mother-in-law, who's not particularly religious; said my sister-in-law wanted a kids Bible for her daughter. So we got one. But looking back I'm not sure if she really did want one and it was a welcome gift...or she just told my MIL that and we gave a gift that was not actually what they wanted. So awkward.

The next year we bought them Lego. No awkwardness there.
I appreciate your response on this.

Tyn

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 50
Re: Inappropriate Family Gift Stories
« Reply #37 on: October 26, 2016, 05:59:29 AM »
When I was younger I once got lacy thongs and one diamante backed g-string from my boyfriends grandmother.

PensacolaStache

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 5
Re: Inappropriate Family Gift Stories
« Reply #38 on: October 26, 2016, 08:05:23 AM »
I had my aunt and uncle come visit us once in order to bring a bible to my child. Found that highly inappropriate and insulting. They didn't ask first, which I did not like. They lived quite far away at the time and made a special trip just for this purpose. I suppose they decided he was young enough to save still as he was maybe 4 at the time. LOL

Wow....you were insulted.
Sounds like they went out of their way to do something that they thought was loving.
Amazing how you managed to twist it to be defined as " inappropriate and insulting."

Who do you think you are telling me I'm twisting something? Nothing was twisted this was my Uncle's wife, he's now divorced from her, that thought our whole family was going to hell. She's a bit crazy and fanatical and I suppose convinced him they needed to do it. As someone else stated this occurs due to us not seeing them much. I believe that to be true, but also due to them isolating or at least my uncle was maybe due to being embarrassed by his wife. I don't know, but I do know for sure it's up to me to decide how to raise my child and whether or not it includes religion.

Easy pal...relax. 

I agree that you twisted it too. 

Bottom line: was what they did intentionally malicious?  Probably not. 

Also, I think you just may have a different opinion on who should raise a child.  I was raised under the philosophy that family, friends, and society raises a child - not just the parents.  There are multiple stakeholders of your child.  It ain't all 'bout you cuh.

Here is a chill pill and a glass of water.

Down the hatch...

Dwight.

Source:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6w41e9C9FEE

Miss Piggy

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1551
Re: Inappropriate Family Gift Stories
« Reply #39 on: October 26, 2016, 08:14:25 AM »
When I was younger I once got lacy thongs and one diamante backed g-string from my boyfriends grandmother.

Oh my. Not awkward at all.

Guava

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 219
Re: Inappropriate Family Gift Stories
« Reply #40 on: October 26, 2016, 08:42:36 AM »
At my bridal shower my grandmother gave me lacy bride underwear for the wedding night. They fell out when I pulled something else out of the box. Everyone made me hold them up so everyone could see. Best part? my aunt helped her pick them out and thought it would be appropriate but that a skeleton bride wouldn't be because "you almost died last year" (I didn't).

partgypsy

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 5226
Re: Inappropriate Family Gift Stories
« Reply #41 on: November 18, 2016, 10:31:16 AM »
When I was younger I once got lacy thongs and one diamante backed g-string from my boyfriends grandmother.

Oh my. Not awkward at all.

lol! She wanted the family line to continue

druth

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 333
  • Location: 'sota
Re: Inappropriate Family Gift Stories
« Reply #42 on: November 18, 2016, 12:31:04 PM »
Shortly after we cleared out my SO's grandma's hoarder house, his mother gave us all a big box of crap from the hoard.  Everybody got their own individual box.  Ours included multiple tubes of expired steriod cream, some tape that had lost its stick...  you get the idea.

Greenly Spirits

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 24
Re: Inappropriate Family Gift Stories
« Reply #43 on: November 18, 2016, 02:24:00 PM »
from my mother in law as a honeymoon gift: books about how to have healthy sexual relations in marriage

not cool

Cativa

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 22
Re: Inappropriate Family Gift Stories
« Reply #44 on: November 18, 2016, 02:39:25 PM »
Christmas at MIL's house every year involves thongs, pasties, nighties...every woman in the family who is married gets something "naughty" from MIL.  They all think its funny.  I try, I really do, but I just...can't.  I'm not offended by the items, but that they are from HER makes me cringe.

Making it really awkward though, is that MIL caught on to me being uncomfortable a couple years ago.  She is worried about leaving me out of this grand tradition though, so now I get "toned down" items:  panties with a crotch in them, instead of without, for example.  Um...thanks?

It feels like such a waste throwing perfectly fine underwear out, but I can't get past the "ick" factor and into the trash they go - every bloody year for 12 years now.

LivlongnProsper

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 72
  • Age: 51
  • It's a new day, anything is possible.
Re: Inappropriate Family Gift Stories
« Reply #45 on: November 18, 2016, 04:12:43 PM »
DW received a "personal massager" from her sister on her birthday. Luckily when she opened it in front of our young children she was able to shut the box before anyone else saw it.

MsPeacock

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1571
  • Location: High COL
Re: Inappropriate Family Gift Stories
« Reply #46 on: November 18, 2016, 05:33:13 PM »
Christmas at MIL's house every year involves thongs, pasties, nighties...every woman in the family who is married gets something "naughty" from MIL.  They all think its funny.  I try, I really do, but I just...can't.  I'm not offended by the items, but that they are from HER makes me cringe.

Making it really awkward though, is that MIL caught on to me being uncomfortable a couple years ago.  She is worried about leaving me out of this grand tradition though, so now I get "toned down" items:  panties with a crotch in them, instead of without, for example.  Um...thanks?

It feels like such a waste throwing perfectly fine underwear out, but I can't get past the "ick" factor and into the trash they go - every bloody year for 12 years now.

This cracks me up. How about modeling them over a pair of ratty sweatpants and a stained t-shirt (what people actually wear to bed)?     Do the other ladies express the intent to use these items, or are they just given to be funny?
« Last Edit: November 19, 2016, 05:16:08 PM by MsPeacock »

gimp

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 2344
Re: Inappropriate Family Gift Stories
« Reply #47 on: November 18, 2016, 05:36:41 PM »
I've done a very good job at resisting the temptation to get my nephews drums and whistles.

You're all welcome.

Thrifty Snail

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 25
Re: Inappropriate Family Gift Stories
« Reply #48 on: November 19, 2016, 04:15:30 PM »
My mother would stuff my Xmas stocking with condoms, in long strips like a rap video from the 90s, when I was in college. She thought this was hysterical.

Kitsunegari

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 477
  • Location: Quebec, CA
  • Penny wise, pound foolish
Re: Inappropriate Family Gift Stories
« Reply #49 on: November 21, 2016, 06:57:26 AM »
Not really inappropriate, but my MIL keeps giving me teatowels as gifts. A friend of mine is convinced she's insulting me in a very passive-aggressive way, but aparently I'm not sensitive enough to pick it up, because I just happily use the torchons she sends me.