Author Topic: If you were 20 again?  (Read 18555 times)

BunnyBoi

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If you were 20 again?
« on: February 14, 2015, 03:45:59 AM »
Hi,

I am in my early 20's, got diagnosed with Colon Cancer, had surgery and starting Chemotherapy on the 25th of February.

I was lucky it hadn't reached stage 4 yet but maybe not lucky enough to avoid chemo (mainly doing it to kill any cancer cells that might have escaped into my blood stream so hopefully a lower stage and dosage?).

Before I had my surgical operation, I laid down on my bed thinking what if I had died at only the age of 20 and never got to see and do so many things. Regrets? Well none. But still I would love to have traveled around and do so many different things.

So after Chemo is done with, I am hoping to finish my degree, work a part-time job at the same time and maybe (fingers cross) I get the green light I will go ahead and travel around a bit before settling down for a 9-5 job (which is the kind of thing I love haha). At least to say I did something and went somewhere.

Would you have done anything differently at the age of 20?

So many people here say they wished they had saved more and invested, and to be honest I had the same opinion before my diagnosis but now I am just like "I would have died, never gone anywhere or done anything even though I had the money?"

marty998

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Re: If you were 20 again?
« Reply #1 on: February 14, 2015, 04:59:26 AM »
Would you have done anything differently at the age of 20?

Would have asked a really cute girl at uni for her number, instead of not telling her how I felt, and unfortunately never seeing her again.

I still shake my head and wonder about her...

clarkfan1979

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Re: If you were 20 again?
« Reply #2 on: February 14, 2015, 05:24:17 AM »
I am sorry to hear about your diagnosis, but there seems to be some room for optimism based on the details. I believe that your health is always the most important thing, so you should focus on that.

I wouldn't change a thing from when I was 20. I believe that I had a great balance of travel, school, saving and spending. I don't believe that you have to spend all of your money to be happy. Having money in the bank creates a stress free life for me.

I currently have a friend that is currently stressed about a car repair. They should get it repaired now, but have to milk it for 2 weeks to have enough money for the repair. They are stressed every day on the way to work because they think their car might not make it. That is not fun for me. I never want to be in that situation again.


ErnBlz

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Re: If you were 20 again?
« Reply #3 on: February 14, 2015, 07:43:03 AM »
I am 44 and just completed chemo and radiation for cervical cancer. If I were 20 again and facing cancer I would not do anything differently than I did in my 20s. If I were healthy and 20 I would put some money in retirement, even if it were only $500 to take advantage of compound interest. I think cancer for me was a huge learning experience and probably different for everyone. If I were in your shoes, I would try to remember to not compare yourself to others, be patient with the healing process and be unafraid to ask for help. I really hope this experience is overall positive with wonderful family, friends, nurses and doctors to help you.

MoneyCat

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Re: If you were 20 again?
« Reply #4 on: February 14, 2015, 08:18:30 AM »
If I could go back and be 20 again, I would spend less time on relationships and chasing status and more time on getting rid of debt and building up assets.  If I had started young, I could already be retired by now and be living the life I really want instead of the life I am required to have.

Glenstache

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Re: If you were 20 again?
« Reply #5 on: February 14, 2015, 09:51:51 AM »
I'm going to differ from the above a little bit on the financial part. I think that if you are going to decide to do something, you should get a plan together and execute on it. If your goal is to travel and get some life experience under your belt, then you should make that happen. You are very unlikely to regret those experiences. The only thing people really regret from those things is if they go into debt and have a financial hangover from it. So, have the money be a part of your plan. Give yourself a cushion so that you can do it without stress, but travel smart money wise. Frugal travel will give you better experiences anyways. I don't necessarily advocate prioritizing socking money into investments during that time, provide the math works out. If your goal is to get some experiences and socking away $1000 now will make a significant difference because you are in low-earning years, then put it towards your travel assuming that in 3 years you will be in your 9-5 job and have much higher income. The compound interest on $500 or $1000 for 3 years relative to what you can put away at mustachian levels of savings will not make a big difference in your FIRE date. Do the math on that and understand how that would play out for how you would allocate between saving/travel/earning potential in the travel time frame with reasonable expectations of earning potential when you settle into a job.

If I could go back to 20, most of my big decisions would have been the same, and the things I would have done differently mostly chalk up to emotional/personal maturity.

As a side note, we have some friends who met in their mid 40s, fell madly in love and are on a 2-year travel binge of things they have wanted to do their whole lives (ranging from hardcore himalayan expeditions to months of volunteer medical work, and all done in a pretty mustachian fashion). It doesn't have to be when you are 20.

couponvan

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Re: If you were 20 again?
« Reply #6 on: February 14, 2015, 10:48:06 AM »
If I were 20 again, I would have spent less money on clothes and cars, and saved more to buy an appreciating asset like a house. I would have listened to my dad!

My dad was all after me to buy a 2 BR condo in a this "sketchy" part of San Francisco for $100K.  He wanted me to rent out a room to a co-worker to help with the payments. (My salary in 1994 was $33K.)  Instead, I bought a Christian Dior suit and a Saturn car with air conditioning....Well, that sketchy neighborhood is SOMA, right next to the Giants ball park.  I'd be FI and then some just on the condo! I still have the suit - it's too small, and worth about $10. The Saturn's engine blew around 125K miles, and I wasted $18K.

Oh, and sow some wild oats before settling down....That's from my grandma who didn't get married until 30 way back when and attended college and traveled a ton. Her I listened to!  I wouldn't change that! ;-)

 

henrysmom

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Re: If you were 20 again?
« Reply #7 on: February 14, 2015, 11:26:53 AM »
First off I wish you well and pray your cancer is quickly eradicated and you go on to live a long and health life!  But I am now in my mid-50s, so looking back I can tell you I have few regrets.  My advice (beyond financial) is follow your bliss!  I took a lot more chances in my 20s than I can now and I don't regret it!  Do something crazy..join the peace corps, fall in love and move  to a strange, foreign land, live alone on a mountain top, walk across the United States.  You have sadly had to taste a bit of your own mortality, so now's the time to live dangerously and love fully.  As you age, these things become harder to do logistically and physically, so take advantage of your youth.  I am a nurse and have worked almost 30 years with elderly, sick people.  Most of them regret not taking more chances, and all of those that did do something wild and crazy were so happy they did.  But most of all, cultivate loving relationships.  Live with gratitude and kindness. I wish you the best!

AllezAllezAllez

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Re: If you were 20 again?
« Reply #8 on: February 14, 2015, 11:39:57 AM »
But most of all, cultivate loving relationships.  Live with gratitude and kindness. I wish you the best!
+1

Yankuba

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Re: If you were 20 again?
« Reply #9 on: February 14, 2015, 01:02:17 PM »

Oh, and sow some wild oats before settling down....That's from my grandma who didn't get married until 30 way back when and attended college and traveled a ton. Her I listened to!  I wouldn't change that! ;-)

 

+100

Jags4186

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Re: If you were 20 again?
« Reply #10 on: February 14, 2015, 01:06:00 PM »
I would have bought UPRO on margin with every penny I could come up with.

MsPeacock

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Re: If you were 20 again?
« Reply #11 on: February 14, 2015, 03:12:28 PM »
Well, sure I wish I'd made a few different choices here and there and saved a bit more money (not that I really had any to speak of when I was 20). Overall, I am happy where I am at 45 and wouldn't do anything all that differently.   I had the chance to travel, I worked and paid my way through college and graduate school (which was really good for me). I have two great kids, that I did have until I was well into my 30s. I did travel a lot in my 20s, which was great and worth every penny. I never had a lot of debt (yay scholarships and working through college and grad school).

MrsCoolCat

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Re: If you were 20 again?
« Reply #12 on: February 14, 2015, 04:15:52 PM »
Don't live in the past. Find your happiness. Be at peace with yourself and love [others] a lot. I'm sorry to hear that and wish you well.

BunnyBoi

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Re: If you were 20 again?
« Reply #13 on: February 14, 2015, 07:27:54 PM »
Thanks for the replies and well wishes everyone!

I guess my experience so far has really taught me that life honestly is very simple. I use to think "Hey I want to go for the high powered job than ER early!" but now I am more on just enjoying the simple things in life and doing things with more moderation (of course saving and investing still).

They don't lie when they say you should just pause and smell the flowers.
I never use to notice them before but now I do and they are beautiful.

It's great to see that even with a few regrets people may have, they more or less wouldn't really change anything which is great.

I still hope I can get the chance to experience so many different things but most importantly to be with the people who care about me the most.

Keep the replies coming ~!

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Re: If you were 20 again?
« Reply #14 on: February 15, 2015, 01:01:40 AM »
At the time, I hadn't reached a sufficient level of maturity to understand things I understand now. If I could somehow transplant some of that into my 20 year old self, I would definitely explore the things I now know about myself.

I would've enjoyed single life a lot more, if you catch my drift. You only get that young body and freedom once.

Other than that, I would've partied and saved more. I would've shaved my head to get over the balding thing earlier than I did. I would've started watching my health/fitness better so that I didn't slowly pack on some lbs over the years. I would've gone to China, Thailand, Brazil, and Antarctica.
« Last Edit: February 15, 2015, 02:12:59 PM by NICE! »

Joshua.Snider

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Re: If you were 20 again?
« Reply #15 on: February 15, 2015, 11:21:16 AM »
Well, I'm currently 21. But I would have started working on overcoming my social anxiety earlier and would have been more ambitious when hunting for my first post-college job.

lise

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Re: If you were 20 again?
« Reply #16 on: February 15, 2015, 11:27:53 AM »
I travelled a lot during my 20's  (backpacking for 6 months at a time when I was 24 and again at 29, as well as other 2-3 month stints in between those times)  - I loved it and don't regret any of the money I spent on this; or that I didn't build a career as quickly as others because of the breaks I took.   

The only thing I would do differently would've been to spend less on shoes and clothing during my 20's.  Was buying badly made fashionable items that lasted one season. 

"Invest" in experiences, not in stuff!

MsPeacock

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Re: If you were 20 again?
« Reply #17 on: February 15, 2015, 11:34:16 AM »
Popping back in to say stay out late! By your 40's you won't want to be out after 10pm, if that.

beanlady

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Re: If you were 20 again?
« Reply #18 on: February 15, 2015, 11:41:30 AM »
I did a pretty good job in my twenties, buying a properly sized house in an affordable area and making good progress on getting it paid off early despite a low salary. My only regret was having kids... I should have waited, but sometimes young folks get carried away!

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Re: If you were 20 again?
« Reply #19 on: February 15, 2015, 01:37:12 PM »
Popping back in to say stay out late! By your 40's you won't want to be out after 10pm, if that.

I'm 31 and I've felt this way for a good few years. I probably started feeling it when I was 26 or 27.

So yeah, +1. Burn the midnight oil, just don't do it every night. And go to bed early the nights you don't do it.

PatStab

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Re: If you were 20 again?
« Reply #20 on: February 15, 2015, 01:57:00 PM »
I love my husband and kids dearly but I wish I had waited till I was older and had experienced more of life before I married.  I wanted to join the military after college and my dad threw a fit, good women didn't do that. And yes, back then I listened to my parents. Yeah right.

Anyway so you don't think we haven't stayed together we will have been married 47 years next month.  But I think of all I wanted to see and do, after we had a mentally challenged daughter so much of what I wanted to do didn't happen.  Still its certainly not been a bad life just would have liked to experience more.

johnny847

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Re: If you were 20 again?
« Reply #21 on: February 15, 2015, 02:05:19 PM »
I'm only 23 so I'm still living my 20s. I've given travel a high priority, though I travel hack with credit card signup bonuses to keep the costs low. Some of the travel is to see the world, and some of the travel is to visit my friends. But I'm saving 50%+ and trying to get my PhD faster than average. I've got no debts.

I feel like I'm on the right track.

Retire-Canada

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Re: If you were 20 again?
« Reply #22 on: February 15, 2015, 07:14:47 PM »
Would you have done anything differently at the age of 20?

Yes I would have saved 2 -3 times what I actually did every year and bought a house when I was 25 as a forced savings mechanism.

I travelled a ton all through my life and I would not do that differently. It made me who I am and if I died at 25 I would have wanted more than a sizeable 'stach to show for my life.

OTOH I spent a lot of a lot of stupid things that had no long term meaning to me.

I would have bought more quality items and much fewer of them.

I would have picked a few hobbies and stuck with only them so I could invest in equipment and training once then get really good at them.

Although I regret some of the silly things I spent money on I don't regret anything major and I wouldn't change that part of my life.

-- Vik

willow

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Re: If you were 20 again?
« Reply #23 on: February 15, 2015, 07:41:50 PM »
Wishing you a long and prosperous life.

You're question is an interesting one because I sometimes think about it. I'm still in my 20s myself and sometimes I wonder if I'm "missing out" on anything because I'm not traveling all that often, or because I'm not out and about every single weekend.

The thing is, I'm happy most days, I would say very happy. The time I seem to get the most stressed out in life are when I start trying to build in those "live your life" moments everyone keeps talking about. Personally they cause undo stress. Travelling is awesome, if you like to travel and want to travel to the places you go. But so is staying inside all day reading an amazing book, getting completely lost in your imagination. I once tried to explain to someone that I'm not a thrill seeker because the same adrenaline rush they get from say, sky diving, I can get from just writing a good short story or having a lengthy discussion about song lyrics among pals.

So to answer your question, as of right now, I regret nothing. Except the times I forced myself to do things I didn't want to do, because other people made it sound like my life wasn't being "lived". Which as I get older, I realize that just means they don't consider it a good story. Good thing living life isn't about being a good story for someone else.

johnny847

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Re: If you were 20 again?
« Reply #24 on: February 15, 2015, 08:50:37 PM »
The thing is, I'm happy most days, I would say very happy. The time I seem to get the most stressed out in life are when I start trying to build in those "live your life" moments everyone keeps talking about. Personally they cause undo stress. Travelling is awesome, if you like to travel and want to travel to the places you go. But so is staying inside all day reading an amazing book, getting completely lost in your imagination. I once tried to explain to someone that I'm not a thrill seeker because the same adrenaline rush they get from say, sky diving, I can get from just writing a good short story or having a lengthy discussion about song lyrics among pals.
I agree that it's nice sometimes to just stay inside and read an amazing book. But at the same time, later when you look back in life, I don't think you're going to remember those days you sat inside reading a book. You're going to remember travelling a lot better.

Take this with a grain of salt though, because I'm only 23.

TheFrugalFox

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Re: If you were 20 again?
« Reply #25 on: February 15, 2015, 09:54:44 PM »
Firstly, I hope it all works out - life is precious, many of us forget that frequently. To your question, I wish I had figured out the difference between saving and investing - I was always good at the former but unfortunately the latter only clicked in my late thirties. Had it not, I would be quite a bit wealthier now.

I think hitting a balance is a great policy. I did the work and travel bit for 10 years between 20 - 30. Although not that accurate as  95% of the time was spent in the UK with trips to the rest of Europe, Asia, Middle east and Australia. I never did build a career and stayed in "small time retail" - not exactly a way to make myself rich. But I did have alot of fun. Now if I had stuck to my studies and become a accountant or financial manager - who is to say what my life would be? Fancy house, fancy car and miserable? Somehow I manage to retire last year at 40 - on a shoe string budget, but I am so happy and loving life.

My point is: only work in something that you enjoy - life is to short to do otherwise. Start investing now - maybe split all savings 50/50 - with 50% to be invested. If you unsure what you want to study or if you will enjoy it, then leave it for a while and travel and pick up odd jobs here and there - those memories are priceless and no amount of money can buy them.

seattlecyclone

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Re: If you were 20 again?
« Reply #26 on: February 16, 2015, 10:01:55 AM »
With 20/20 hindsight I probably would have pursued an internship at Facebook when a recruiter contacted me in 2007 rather than going to the big company I had already committed to for that summer. Oh well, I don't think the stock options at that point would have gotten me to FI that much faster, especially if I had to live in the Bay Area.

gluskap

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Re: If you were 20 again?
« Reply #27 on: February 16, 2015, 11:47:18 AM »
I backpacked Europe for 2 months when I was 20 before I started a full time job and do not regret it for one bit.  But I didn't really spend that much staying in hostels and doing things on the cheap.  I think I spent about $5000 for the 2 months and that included flight and everything.  Good luck!

willow

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Re: If you were 20 again?
« Reply #28 on: February 16, 2015, 05:53:34 PM »
The thing is, I'm happy most days, I would say very happy. The time I seem to get the most stressed out in life are when I start trying to build in those "live your life" moments everyone keeps talking about. Personally they cause undo stress. Travelling is awesome, if you like to travel and want to travel to the places you go. But so is staying inside all day reading an amazing book, getting completely lost in your imagination. I once tried to explain to someone that I'm not a thrill seeker because the same adrenaline rush they get from say, sky diving, I can get from just writing a good short story or having a lengthy discussion about song lyrics among pals.
I agree that it's nice sometimes to just stay inside and read an amazing book. But at the same time, later when you look back in life, I don't think you're going to remember those days you sat inside reading a book. You're going to remember travelling a lot better.

Take this with a grain of salt though, because I'm only 23.

lol, I see what you're saying. I believe it's all about moderation. You can't stay inside and read all the time, sometimes you have to get out there and apply what you've read to life.

As far as looking back on life, think of it this way , I remember my books, songs, etc for years. They shape the way I see the world and create great ways for me to bond with other people. I've done a little travelling, and there were times I enjoyed it, and other trips I will never take again; travelling is over hyped in my opinion.

former player

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Re: If you were 20 again?
« Reply #29 on: February 17, 2015, 01:10:05 AM »
Bunny Boi, best wishes for your treatment and recovery.

I've had a good life.  At 20, it was beginning to get better after a rocky upbringing.  Looking back, I did OK but I wish I had trusted myself a bit more, recognised my strengths and abilities a bit more, recognised and taken up the opportunities I had a bit more.  I probably stayed a little too much in my comfort zone, and I think that I could have acted with more initiative and had more diverse experiences (hopefully good ones) to look back on.  I've been lucky to have the time since (34 years) to put a lot of that right, so in the end it hasn't mattered very much, though.

GuitarStv

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Re: If you were 20 again?
« Reply #30 on: February 17, 2015, 07:58:00 AM »
So many people here say they wished they had saved more and invested, and to be honest I had the same opinion before my diagnosis but now I am just like "I would have died, never gone anywhere or done anything even though I had the money?"

You can't know the future.  Acting like you can leads to some pretty warped thinking though.  Why spend all that time in school if you're just going to die in your 20s?  You should have been out in the world living it up.  Why not smash your car into the guy who just cut you off in traffic if you're going to die tomorrow?  Why not get high, and stay high all the time, wouldn't that be more enjoyable than being sober?

Unfortunately, this party ends if you don't die.

If you really feel like you're missing out on life . . . then you're doing something wrong.  You don't need to spend much money to have 'gone somewhere, done something'.  It's possible to plan for the future and live well in the now.  That's what this website is about.

hybrid

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Re: If you were 20 again?
« Reply #31 on: February 17, 2015, 09:10:29 AM »
I don't regret getting married at 19, I do regret getting married and not finishing school. I wish there had been someone way back when to tell me to get student loans, stay focused, and finish getting that programming degree. I could have done both.

I was lucky, I backdoored into IT in the late 90s during the DotCom boom, but most people won't be as lucky like I was.

greaper007

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Re: If you were 20 again?
« Reply #32 on: February 17, 2015, 11:23:38 AM »
I'm sorry about your diagnoses, the world is rediculously cruel sometimes.    I know you'll beat this, and use the experience to live a more empowered, verdant life.

That said, the real question should be "What do you want to do?"    Some people want to jump out of airplanes and have orgies, some people want to see a faraway land or try to reconnect with their family.    Whatever you've been pushing off in your life is probably the thing you should be doing now.   If you really sit down and think about it, you already know what the answer is.

Me, at 34 I wish I would have tried harder in college and really went after a career I could have enjoyed and made money at.    I also wish I would have just talked to every girl I was attracted to, and even some of the ones I wasn't attracted to.    Frankly, I wish I would have had more sex before I was married or in a relationship.     I let fear rule my life for a very long time, and I wound up being a bitter person.   It's not attractive.

Things are much harder to change the older you get, and the more responsibilities you take on.    Going into say graduate school, or taking a job with crazy hours would be a very difficult thing for me to do now as I have a family and responsibilities.   All of my decisions have to now be run through the question of "how does this affect everyone else?"   

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Re: If you were 20 again?
« Reply #33 on: February 17, 2015, 11:58:30 AM »
I also wish I would have just talked to every girl I was attracted to, and even some of the ones I wasn't attracted to.    Frankly, I wish I would have had more sex before I was married or in a relationship.     I let fear rule my life for a very long time...

+1

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Re: If you were 20 again?
« Reply #34 on: February 17, 2015, 12:06:14 PM »
I also wish I would have just talked to every girl I was attracted to, and even some of the ones I wasn't attracted to.    Frankly, I wish I would have had more sex before I was married or in a relationship.     I let fear rule my life for a very long time...

+1

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Re: If you were 20 again?
« Reply #35 on: February 17, 2015, 12:11:29 PM »

mancityfan

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Re: If you were 20 again?
« Reply #36 on: February 17, 2015, 01:11:00 PM »
It sounds very selfish, but I would say live life for you, and what makes you happy. I spent so much of my young adulthood trying  too hard to be liked, worried about the opinion of others. It really held me back. You do not have to be an ass, but try not to worry about what others think about you.

johnny847

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Re: If you were 20 again?
« Reply #37 on: February 18, 2015, 07:52:34 AM »
The thing is, I'm happy most days, I would say very happy. The time I seem to get the most stressed out in life are when I start trying to build in those "live your life" moments everyone keeps talking about. Personally they cause undo stress. Travelling is awesome, if you like to travel and want to travel to the places you go. But so is staying inside all day reading an amazing book, getting completely lost in your imagination. I once tried to explain to someone that I'm not a thrill seeker because the same adrenaline rush they get from say, sky diving, I can get from just writing a good short story or having a lengthy discussion about song lyrics among pals.
I agree that it's nice sometimes to just stay inside and read an amazing book. But at the same time, later when you look back in life, I don't think you're going to remember those days you sat inside reading a book. You're going to remember travelling a lot better.

Take this with a grain of salt though, because I'm only 23.

lol, I see what you're saying. I believe it's all about moderation. You can't stay inside and read all the time, sometimes you have to get out there and apply what you've read to life.

As far as looking back on life, think of it this way , I remember my books, songs, etc for years. They shape the way I see the world and create great ways for me to bond with other people. I've done a little travelling, and there were times I enjoyed it, and other trips I will never take again; travelling is over hyped in my opinion.
Some perspective from older people: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/02/10/travel-relationships-regrets_n_6654456.html?ncid=fcbklnkushpmg00000063


LiveLean

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Re: If you were 20 again?
« Reply #39 on: February 19, 2015, 09:07:00 AM »
Be like Forrest Gump and invest in "some sort of fruit company."

rocketpj

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Re: If you were 20 again?
« Reply #40 on: February 19, 2015, 10:15:58 AM »
Assuming a time machine, I'd listen to my roommate and drop out of college earlier in order to invest everything in a software company owned by a guy called 'Bill Gates' that he kept raving about.  I was going to drop out anyway, but that tuition would have gone a long way.

If I were 20 now, on the other hand, well, I'd be a lot better at talking to girls and I'd spend less and save more (as in save something rather than nothing).

EllieStan

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Re: If you were 20 again?
« Reply #41 on: February 20, 2015, 02:01:33 PM »
First, I want to say I am sorry to hear about your cancer, hoping the best for you.

20 is not so far behind (I just turned 29), and none of my regrets are linked to finances. Well, maybe in the sense of how to pay for what I regret not doing, but it has more to do with life experiences. I wished I traveled like many of my friends did, with only their backpacks, spending months or years in other countries. I guess I just wasn't much of an adventurer (still don't feel I am), but I feel it's becoming harder to conciliate the fact I now want to be established, but at the same time, I feel like I missed out on many things I should have done BEFORE getting established. It's a mixed feeling.

I don't regret going to college and university. Getting my BA, then MA with honours, was extremely rewarding on a personal level, and extremely fulfilling intellectually.

On the other hand, I have changed over my 20s, and my interests have changed. I now have higher education degrees that will be helpful in my career, but I sometimes wonder if I should have chosen another field, one that would make me more marketable. Again, it's a struggle between ''following a passion'' and ''being strategic about my career'', and my choice then was to follow my passion. I guess I'll always wonder where I'd be today, if I had chosen another path (would I earn more, be debt-free already, own a house already, be married already, etc.)

Also, I was in a long-term relationship from 17 to 25, then my current relationship from 26 to (hopefully forever!). I never feel I missed on the sex experience. To be fair, I have never been interested in having many partners, so it's not a regret that I carry. Just like I don't regret not going out more in the bars and so on. It's never been part of my interests. In other words : do what you enjoy, try what interests you, but don't feel as if you have to absolutely do this or that because of your FOMO. You know yourself best. Do what makes you happy today and you wont regret your past.
« Last Edit: February 20, 2015, 02:09:46 PM by EllieStan »

Capsu78

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Re: If you were 20 again?
« Reply #42 on: February 20, 2015, 02:20:36 PM »

Some perspective from older people: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/02/10/travel-relationships-regrets_n_6654456.html?ncid=fcbklnkushpmg00000063

LOVE

This ^^^   I jumped into my car 2 weeks out of college and moved across country.  I never lived in the same time zone as my parents again (minor regret, but one I had to accept to fly away)
I have traveled all over the US mostly on business and some on vacation.  2004 was invited to join a bunch of mostly strangers to a castle in Italy.  Since then we have managed 1-3 international trips every year since- no regrets... well except for my list of places to see is now longer than ever before and I won't get to them all!

Sid Hoffman

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Re: If you were 20 again?
« Reply #43 on: February 20, 2015, 02:54:09 PM »
When I was young, I guess about 20 years ago, I came across this little gem:

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”

― H. Jackson Brown Jr., P.S. I Love You


I've struggled with regret since my unhappy marriage ended, but I really wouldn't go back 20 years and try again.  Honestly, I figure "good enough" and just see where it goes from here.  I'm reasonably content with things and mainly I just want to push each year of my life closer to where I'm doing more for others on a personal level and less for the sake of "I have to do this."  Now I really just want to experience some good things and bring joy to others around me.  It's been fun finding ways to do that even while I'm still working and have 8-13 years of work ahead of me by my math.

Beric01

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Re: If you were 20 again?
« Reply #44 on: February 20, 2015, 02:59:20 PM »
I would be hate to be 20 again. Almost 5 years ago all I wanted to do was graduate and get a job. So that was what I did, and here I am now, with a degree and good job. I might have focused more on the social scene/found a girlfriend, but that would have been to the detriment of my getting good grades and graduating/finding a job.

I'm sure in another 10 years I'll have a lot more wisdom on what I might have done better, but right now I'm really glad I got past that obstacle of college.

Vilgan

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Re: If you were 20 again?
« Reply #45 on: February 20, 2015, 10:16:07 PM »
There are various learning experiences that I think were fine, but the main thing I regret is the following: Hunkering down in a part of the country I ended up by accident and staying due to inertia/lower prices. I ended up living in a place I hated for 8 years and was always "waiting to leave" so never invested in many friendships other than my (now) wife.

Life is too short to live in a part of the country you dislike. If you don't love where you live, do some research and move. Build relationships that will matter because you plan to STAY there. I spent 8 years avoiding putting down any roots because I didn't like the soil, when what I should have done is moved my butt to the PNW a lot earlier and start that process much earlier.

I like this article a lot: http://www.mrmoneymustache.com/2011/09/28/get-rich-with-moving-to-a-better-place/

soccerluvof4

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Re: If you were 20 again?
« Reply #46 on: February 21, 2015, 10:59:39 AM »
I joined the Navy at 17 as soon as I graduated from HS so by the time I was in my 20's i was pretty mature BUT i would not do that again even though i don't regret it. I would probably most of all lighten up on the pressures I put on myself to try not to fail as opposed to working to succeed. By 27 i was exhausted and ended up in the hospital collapsing from burning the candle and after all the sleep studies pretty much said i didn't sleep. That woke me up and i knew from that day going forward what warning signs to look for and when to slow down. So i just wouldst be a workaholic and instead smell the roses and save more. I also got married young because she was pregnant and wanted to be responsible...well that didn't last 2 years and i paid for it for nearly 19 years which cut into alot into my earnings going forward. Every time i made more money funny how she found out. Anyhow that would be despite having a son out of it the two things i would avoid.

Wupper

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Re: If you were 20 again?
« Reply #47 on: February 21, 2015, 11:24:09 AM »
Would you have done anything differently at the age of 20?

Buy AAPL

(I was 20 years-old in 1986)

johnny847

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Re: If you were 20 again?
« Reply #48 on: February 21, 2015, 11:51:02 AM »
Would you have done anything differently at the age of 20?

Buy AAPL

(I was 20 years-old in 1986)
Haha wouldn't we all like to have done that? (Well I guess I couldn't because I wasn't even alive in '86...)

But I think the question should be if you could reverse aging and become 20 right now, not have a time machine and go back to when you were 20.

ShaneD

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Re: If you were 20 again?
« Reply #49 on: February 21, 2015, 01:09:00 PM »
Would you have done anything differently at the age of 20?

Allowed myself to be more vulnerable. And done/said more of the things that scared me.

I also wish I'd lived alone at some point. I went from parents' home to roommates (different combinations) to significant other. I'd have liked to have had a space all my own.

Wellness and health to you, BunnyBoi.