Yeah, I hear you--probably most of us have been there at one time or another. Try to do one nice thing for yourself today--if you can get a little fresh air outside, that can work wonders in calming down your head and taking a fresh look at things. Then you can think better, and start slowly, one thing at a time, working on your finances. You are sounding overwhelmed right now, beating yourself up too much--just slow it down and take it step-by-step in terms of working on the finances.