Last Night
...if it does and you are able to separate the stress/anxiety from the job even better
This unfortunately doesn't seem to be the case...
agree with GU.
You need to stop taking this so personally and allowing it to affect your life. This is a job, it's not your life. I know that's a lot easier said than done, but you need to try for sure if you don't quit now. Start looking for new jobs today!
You care soooooooooooooooooo much about your work. It is astonishing.
In some ways, I wish I had that. It's motivating and intriguing to see someone just going nonstop, always 'on' their game, putting out fires, fixing things, making deals, inventing the iPhone or whatever.
At the same time though, I see people like that and they are always so hot and bothered about everything. Work impacts their mental-state so much and they are always trying to fix everything, letting things fall on their plate to be done, going on and on about how everyone else around them sucks at their jobs, and meanwhile somehow seeming energized by it.
Like it gives them meaning or something, to be saving the day.
sure, you
do need to leave this job, as it seems to be just too much. But between now and the next job, we need to work on how you deal with work 'things': events, work 'fires', other peoples mistakes, human depravity, your own mistakes, lack of leadership, lack of direction.
This might hit super close to home, but I think you are coping.
You may be running to this work stuff in an 'I can save the day/everything depends on me' mentality even more so than you otherwise would,
because of your non-work stuff going on with the aging parents, military husband, taxes, etc.
You came here seeking a sounding board that was going to tell you exactly what you wanted to hear. You have gotten it. Unfortunately it's only half helpful. As supportive as everyone here is, and that is great, it is not entirely what you needed to hear. They are right - you need to quit. You are right - you need to quit. You're husband is right - you need to quit. You also need to learn how to not find so much of your satisfaction in your job I think.
Envision a different world where everything doesn't depend on you, you aren't holding everything together, and you are still quite content, happy, loved and valued in this world.