I've started and stopped I need a reasonable plan for sustained sucess

[nottoscale]

a

[matchewed]

Don't miss bills...

Autopay; if autopay is not an option you need to setup reminders. No one is going to remind you and you can't keep messing things like that up.

Stop doing stupid nights out. Plan your life, you're in charge of your life, stop letting it just happen to you.

No, paying $200 for cable and internet and Amazon Prime and Netflix is not a good deal even with a couple.

Get rid of the bells and whistles phones with data plans. Go to our wonderful resident communications guide and find something more cost effective.

What are your plans? Specifics here, not nebulous. If your plans are just to pay down debt and go to school then fine, do some smarter things and you're 99% there.

[nottoscale]

a

[matchewed]

I find $120 a month for internet to be dubious. I'm assuming you're in the US and we have some of the priciest and shittiest internet. And you don't need to be paying more than $40 as far as I've seen.

Your points on the $200 cable is a serious case of excusitis. You'd rather pay $2400 a year than actually do something about it.

As for phones; You would rather pay $760 over the next four months, or pay $240+ the cost of two cheap smartphones plus your new really cheap phone deal (hint: if you do it right it will be way less than $760)? Your call.

Frankly I'm not sure then what you're posting for. If everything is something which cannot be touched or done with or worked on, then why bother posting?

[nottoscale]

Never said it was untouchable The gain has to be worth the work.

For phones:
$760 over the next 4 month then $100 a month for at least the next 2 years. This is how I have it planned currently.

Option to drop current carrier and switch means pay this month $190 and the $240 = $430 on a month where my budget doesn't have a lot of room to begin with I'd added a $250 fee.

No since I canceled I don't get to keep the phones I have paying for I have to drop $50 per phone on new ones with less features $100 total. and then start new plans at $40 a month (cheapest I could find in my area) Total monthly cost to change phone plans this month is now $530 and I don't get to pay any extra towards CC's for the month of Jan. I save $220 over the 4 months. Which is close to what I could allocate to paying down CCs and then I save $20 a month on phone bills ($240 a year)

Did I miss something ? I don;t understand the above approach it beats me up real bad short term for a very small gain long term. In 4 months I will have unlocked paid of phones I can take anywhere. Help with what to do at the junction would be very nice. The advice of cut the phone bill now and take the hit doesn't make long term sense to me when I am so close to being right there anyway.

Your assumption about US is correct and the internet is crazy expensive.  looking at Comcast which I could get down to $60 for 6 months then it goes back up to $120. The cable bill may be able to be cut down some.

My largest concern is getting my debt down and my spending in line. Clipping down a cable or phone bill right now is the least of my worries I want to make it through my last slim month with only a $200 gap between my income and my expenditures with flying colors and set myself up to keep my spending low when I get a better check next month.

[matchewed]

http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/share-your-badassity/communications-tech-son-of-the-superguide!/

That's where you find out how to have cost effective internet and cell phones.

You say you want to get your debt down and spending in line. Yes clipping your cable and lowering your cell phone is going to help accomplish those goals. They are the most disposable of the things you spend your money on from what I see. They are the low hanging fruit and you think it's not worth it.

I still call BS on the internet price. There is probably something better than $60/month. Which even if you did that is way better than $200/month.

[deeshen13]

I have comcast and the "regular" (not discounted) rate I'm paying is $45/month.  It works great.

Where are these 120-200 numbers coming from?

[ash7962]

Yeah the internet price sounds like BS.  I live in Chicago and have RCN at I think 25 Mb/s.  25 Mb/s is more than fast enough for both my SO and I to play online games at the same time.  I pay 62$/mo and that is after the initial sign on discounts have ended.  I could probably do even better if I called them and said I was thinking about swapping to comcast hmmm.....

[nottoscale]

$200 is for ATT uverse my current provider + all my other entertainment packages all added up
internet + 200 channel of cable at $150 a month
Amazon prime $10 a month ($110 a year rounded up)
VPN $ 4 a month ($40 a year rounded up)
Netflix $10 a month rounded up

it's closer to 175 but having some buffer rounding is nice when you only get paid once a month.

$60 is from the last mailer I got from Comcast in the mail. Looking at their site it looks like that's wrong though. I could get their basic for $20 a month (10 Mbps) or the Plus for $45 I lean more towards the $45 with two people streaming or playing games I want a bit more than 10 Mbps. This is before reading all their terms and nonsense though.

No RCN in my area either Comcast or AT&T

So a switch may be in order once I pay this months bill the 45 looks like it comes with Basic cable and that would get my 90% of the hockey games I'd want.

[matchewed]

"may be in order"... too wishy washy...

How about "I will go for a cheaper lifestyle that still suits my needs in order to get my shit under control." :)

And drop basic cable, just go for internet (the cheap one) buy your gamecenter package and a chromecast. Way way way cheaper.

[nottoscale]

Don't need the Chromecast TV is plugged into the PC.
Input to HDMI #1 is all I need to hit.

Does anyone have the basic Comcast (10 Mbps)  and a significant other/ roommate constantly watching Netflix. That'll decide between the basic and the inflated with the cable.

Am I an idiot for putting it off until my larger paycheck next month though?  Paying $350 in fees and extras on a month where I only have a $400 buffer between my income and expenditures makes me uncomfortable. 

Same question with the phones. I want to wait out the 4 months, give the girlfriend plenty of notice that she'll need to either put her phone into her name or get a new provider and then I can jump onto the cheap-o plan and only pay $30 a month.

[Mr Dorothy Dollar]

Looks fine if you are okay giving the GF a gift every month. $400/month is a gift for covering utilities, food, and a place to live. You might be instilling bad habits in her to blow more cash than a future wife should. Only in a world that you paid off a house is this even possible. If she was relatively new GF I would jack up the price more (price of condo rent/2 plus half of utilities and food until she earns her MRS degree.), and if she is a GF you have had for a couple years get off your butt and make her an honest woman.

[Tetsuya Hondo]

Phones will drop to $100 a month in 4 months. isn't $100 ($50 a phone) good for monthly cell phone costs?

Da fuck? My cell phone bill was $17 last month. Read the SuperGuide and there's lotsa threads on this in the forums. MMM also has articles on saving money on cell phones.

Good job though on biking and packing a lunch.

[justajane]

How long left on IBR? If it were me, I wouldn't want to be under that small amount of debt (relatively speaking) for 20+ years. But that's just me. With no mortgage you are primed to be able to do some serious damage paying that off after you get rid of the CCs.

Clearly your internet and phone are insane. Food is good. Great actually.

[Knitwit]

I currently have 5 Mbps internet. I have never operated Netflix on two devices at once (if we are watching, we're watching together), but we have had Netflix running at the same time as online gaming, Youtube, etc. and have never had a problem. I can't imagine that you'd have a problem at 10 Mbps.

[JLee]

Never said it was untouchable The gain has to be worth the work.

For phones:
$760 over the next 4 month then $100 a month for at least the next 2 years. This is how I have it planned currently.

Option to drop current carrier and switch means pay this month $190 and the $240 = $430 on a month where my budget doesn't have a lot of room to begin with I'd added a $250 fee.

No since I canceled I don't get to keep the phones I have paying for I have to drop $50 per phone on new ones with less features $100 total. and then start new plans at $40 a month (cheapest I could find in my area) Total monthly cost to change phone plans this month is now $530 and I don't get to pay any extra towards CC's for the month of Jan. I save $220 over the 4 months. Which is close to what I could allocate to paying down CCs and then I save $20 a month on phone bills ($240 a year)

Did I miss something ? I don;t understand the above approach it beats me up real bad short term for a very small gain long term. In 4 months I will have unlocked paid of phones I can take anywhere. Help with what to do at the junction would be very nice. The advice of cut the phone bill now and take the hit doesn't make long term sense to me when I am so close to being right there anyway.

Your assumption about US is correct and the internet is crazy expensive.  looking at Comcast which I could get down to $60 for 6 months then it goes back up to $120. The cable bill may be able to be cut down some.

My largest concern is getting my debt down and my spending in line. Clipping down a cable or phone bill right now is the least of my worries I want to make it through my last slim month with only a $200 gap between my income and my expenditures with flying colors and set myself up to keep my spending low when I get a better check next month.

T-Mobile will buy you out of your contract.

http://www.t-mobile.com/offer/switch-carriers-no-early-termination-fee.html

Four lines with 6GB/each is $120 combined. If you can find two family members to jump on, you could go from $190 to ~$70 ($60+tax) for your phones. That frees up $120/mo.

I'm paying $60/mo for 100mbps internet service (Cox). You should be able to easily find something in that price range- drop cable, keep Netflix at $8/mo, and that frees up another $120/mo.

$240/month is pretty substantial. "Clipping down a cable or phone bill right now is the least of my worries I want to make it through my last slim month with only a $200 gap between my income and my expenditures" - these two changes would more than double that $200 gap. It's pretty silly to not worry about $240 a month because you're busy worrying about other things.

[ash7962]

Does anyone have the basic Comcast (10 Mbps)  and a significant other/ roommate constantly watching Netflix. That'll decide between the basic and the inflated with the cable.

Go down to 10 Mb/s.  Trust me, you will not have a problem upgrading to the higher speeds (they'll be happy to take more of your money).  Switching internet speeds doesn't require a hardware change, so its as easy as calling them.  Also, since you have debt that you're trying to pay off plus school you want to save for, then maybe you should consider dropping some luxuries such as being able to play a game and stream at the same time.  You can "suffer" (aka be mildly inconvenienced) for 4 months while you put the extra money towards debt and savings.  Especially since paying 350$ extra in a month is cause for alarm in your budget.  You can't have a 200$/mo cable/internet package and complain about an extra 350$ one time fee.

Edit to add - you can probably even stream and play a game on 10 Mb/s without much problem...

[nottoscale]

Phones will drop to $100 a month in 4 months. isn't $100 ($50 a phone) good for monthly cell phone costs?

Da fuck? My cell phone bill was $17 last month. Read the SuperGuide and there's lotsa threads on this in the forums. MMM also has articles on saving money on cell phones.

Good job though on biking and packing a lunch.

Actually it'd be the $20 unlimited plan from Airvoice (I'm used to the AT&T network so no surprises on dead spots and other stuff)  I can't do their pay as you go plan since I occasionally have to send images from my phone for work. I need that 100mb of data to send a few photos at full quality from job sites anything over that I'd ask for a company phone for. 90% is using our DSLR cameras but sometimes we need a decision on something immediately and snap and send a photo has to still be an option for me without weighing the cost per MB.

This is 1 day worth of research on switching the phone there may be a better deal I missed.

Looks like I am switching to Comcast as soon as I can dropping down to $20 a month would be awesome.

I want off IBR as soon as CC debts are paid. If I can pay off my CC debt an extra $800 to $1000 a month starting Feb 1 I should be able to start making the same payments to my Student loans in May. Then I can be free and clear of those in 2 1/2 years.

By then I should be enrolled in school for my B.S. and GF should be making more money.


As to the charity/gift.

I'd love to make an honest women out of her but I don't feel like I can ask her to marry me when I don't have money saved up, I have a bunch of debt that she'll then be tied to, I have no degree, and we'd have to have a courthouse wedding or ask her parents to pay. I don't think she'd want something expensive but when we talk about it there's at least a reception for our families and some friends and I can't afford that until I can stop throwing 1/3 of my net pay at debt and stupid shit I did 3 years ago.
 

[fattest_foot]

$60 is from the last mailer I got from Comcast in the mail. Looking at their site it looks like that's wrong though. I could get their basic for $20 a month (10 Mbps) or the Plus for $45 I lean more towards the $45 with two people streaming or playing games I want a bit more than 10 Mbps. This is before reading all their terms and nonsense though.

Geez, I'm jealous. I live in the middle of nowhere and I have only one option (Mediacom) for internet. It's $65 a month for 10 Mbps (this is also without a modem rental as I have my own; normally $5/month extra). I'd kill to be able to spend $20 instead.

Oh, and I have a 250 gig/month data cap.

Edit: And to answer your question, Netflix and gaming at the same time works fine with it. I will say that I enabled QoS on my router to give priority to gaming over Netflix. But you can also now change your Netflix streaming to different bandwidth settings (Prime does not have this feature, btw).

[Mr Dorothy Dollar]

Phones will drop to $100 a month in 4 months. isn't $100 ($50 a phone) good for monthly cell phone costs?

As to the charity/gift.

I'd love to make an honest women out of her but I don't feel like I can ask her to marry me when I don't have money saved up, I have a bunch of debt that she'll then be tied to, I have no degree, and we'd have to have a courthouse wedding or ask her parents to pay. I don't think she'd want something expensive but when we talk about it there's at least a reception for our families and some friends and I can't afford that until I can stop throwing 1/3 of my net pay at debt and stupid shit I did 3 years ago.

It is her choice to accept your debt or not, put the ball fully in her court by asking. With a paid off house your debt is really not that bad for your age. As to the expectation of a big to-do for the wedding. Do a courthouse wedding and throw a backyard party with family and friends catering. Play some music from an iPod and buy 5 red, 5 white, keg, some cans, do a signature cocktail. Your guest will not care much as long as there is booze it is just getting her to sign off on a 2-4K event. I pulled it off for our non-traditional dual-dude wedding/reception.

[GreenSheep]

I agree with making the decision to marry debt or not HER decision. At the very least, you could be engaged while you pay down/off your debt. After two years, she may be wondering how serious you are. (Or maybe she doesn't care about marriage and just wants to be with you regardless. But you don't know until you talk about these things.)

And I agree with a small but fun backyard wedding. There are plenty of inexpensive ways to make it special. I think it's rather charming when people are so in love that they have a super cheap but cute and fun wedding because they just can't stand to wait 5 years to save up for a big "princess for a day" blowout. No one ever talks about it, but I would love to hear what people who've dropped tens of thousands on their wedding think about that expense 10 years down the road and whether they regret it.

[JLee]

I agree with making the decision to marry debt or not HER decision. At the very least, you could be engaged while you pay down/off your debt. After two years, she may be wondering how serious you are. (Or maybe she doesn't care about marriage and just wants to be with you regardless. But you don't know until you talk about these things.)

And I agree with a small but fun backyard wedding. There are plenty of inexpensive ways to make it special. I think it's rather charming when people are so in love that they have a super cheap but cute and fun wedding because they just can't stand to wait 5 years to save up for a big "princess for a day" blowout. No one ever talks about it, but I would love to hear what people who've dropped tens of thousands on their wedding think about that expense 10 years down the road and whether they regret it.

When my mother got remarried quite a few years ago, I was out dress shopping with her and after hours and hours, she had yet to find anything she liked. She's like humph I wish I could just wear jeans.  I said it's your wedding, wear jeans!

She did. It was awesome. The wedding was in a little cabin on a lake in northern NH with a very small group of people.

[GreenSheep]

^ I love it! That's the kind of wedding people will remember and respect and admire! Who needs a poofy white dress?

When I was in college, I worked in the summers for the banquet department at the local country club. We did a TON of weddings. At least two every weekend. Totally turned me off to weddings in general, and the idea of having my own big thing in particular. They're all the same. Big ugly dress she'll never wear again. Rented tux. Ugly bridesmaids dresses. Expensive and unhealthy food for people they felt obligated to invite. Huge cake that looks better than it tastes. "Brown Eyed Girl." "Brick House." (I would rather jump off the roof than listen to those songs ever again.) And on and on. And what's missing? In only a very few of them could you see there was actual love between the bride and groom. The memorable ones were the imperfect ones that still had a blast and showed how much they cared about everyone present. (Then there was the time the groom was caught on a table downstairs with a bridesmaid. But hey, it was all good because everything upstairs still looked perfect, right?)

[slappy]

I agree with making the decision to marry debt or not HER decision. At the very least, you could be engaged while you pay down/off your debt. After two years, she may be wondering how serious you are. (Or maybe she doesn't care about marriage and just wants to be with you regardless. But you don't know until you talk about these things.)

And I agree with a small but fun backyard wedding. There are plenty of inexpensive ways to make it special. I think it's rather charming when people are so in love that they have a super cheap but cute and fun wedding because they just can't stand to wait 5 years to save up for a big "princess for a day" blowout. No one ever talks about it, but I would love to hear what people who've dropped tens of thousands on their wedding think about that expense 10 years down the road and whether they regret it.

When my mother got remarried quite a few years ago, I was out dress shopping with her and after hours and hours, she had yet to find anything she liked. She's like humph I wish I could just wear jeans.  I said it's your wedding, wear jeans!

She did. It was awesome. The wedding was in a little cabin on a lake in northern NH with a very small group of people.

I got married on a lake in Northern NH.  :) Lake Francis. I didn't wear jeans, but it was amazing.  People still talk about it.  :)

[nottoscale]

came for financial advice now it looks like I have to get married. Hilarious.

So my plan going forward I'll be adding this to my top level post and maybe moving a bunch of this to the journal section of the forum.

 The plan going forward is:

This month before I get charged another 150 from ATT call and cancel and get switch to the $20 Comcast plan and buy a router.
$150 + $75 (found out cancellation fee yesterday)
$65 Router
$40 Comcast installation (my house hasn't had Comcast before so I'm 90% sure they will have to run a line will be calling to make sure of this since I can plug and play a router)

That's $145 extra but I save $130 next month and every month after that so it's awesome.

The phone I will be waiting until the contract is up then getting on the airvoice plan. I am going to cut my data usage and monitor what I actually use it for in this time to try to find the best plan for me in the next few months.

So close to a $300 a month cut in bills that can now either get saved or go to pay down debt.

As to the fun part it sounds like I need to start planning a proposal. It has been too long we have been living together for close to 3 years. 

[Jakejake]

i don't understand what's happening with your GF's money. Does she seriously work full time and only make $400 a month ($20 per day)?  Is she also paying down her own debts with the extra? Or is she paying you $400 for entertainment (phone & cable) while you're in debt, and you're paying all her living expenses, and she's frittering away the rest of her pay?

I'm sure there's some detail there I'm missing. 

[nottoscale]

She doesn't work full time I only ask for that much from her. I don't deal with her money since I am dealing with my own. She doesn't spend a lot but I don't see her bank statements so I don't know what is going on there. It's going to be better then mine.

She's at about $1200 a month from some back of the envelope math I did with her hours and pay rate.

[GreenSheep]

came for financial advice now it looks like I have to get married. Hilarious.

Sorry! :-) They say that one of the most important financial decisions you'll make in your life is your spouse, so it's not quite completely irrelevant. :-) (See thread on guy with spendypants wife who just doesn't get it. There are a lot of those.) She's lucky to have someone who is focused on the important things in life! But really, sorry to take this so far off track. Glad you're making some progress on your debt!

[Jakejake]

She's at about $1200 a month from some back of the envelope math I did with her hours and pay rate.

OK, so what I'm getting at is her savings rate is potentially $800 a month (unless she's blowing it on crap or paying debts you didn't mention) and yours is zero because you are paying off loans. So I'm not sure why you are paying all her expenses.

In a similar thread, I'm one of the people who landed on the side of unmarried couples prorating expenses based on income so the lower earner can still save, but you may have swung too far in the other direction, paying for all her housing and food and utilities while she works part time and has excess income, while you have what - to me at least - would be a debt emergency.

[nottoscale]

I know I'm kind of biting the bullet here. She has no credit card debt what so ever she's never had one.She did do a year of school and I don't know how she paid for it so she very well could be paying down some really screwed up private loan.

I'm super open about my money and finances and all that Jazz I'll tell the person at the grocery store about my checking account balance, she's a bit more reserved.  We were talking last night though about what we want to do and I mentioned that after I pay off all my cards I want to save the $800 a month I am going to be throwing at them in order to be able to build a house in 12 to 15 years. She liked the idea and seemed willing to contribute. I have to slowly get her in the same mindset I have gotten into.

$400 a month really just equalizes my income, I get paid once a month and all the bills come out within the first week. Getting those 2 small $200 payments makes going grocery shopping and other little things easier. 

Also that $400 goes towards the bills but that grocery bill is typically split between us rather than taken out of the $400 she gives me. This may be an issue that should have been mentioned earlier.   

What would be a fair amount to ask for? keep in mind I have the house paid off, all the fees for the house are not her responsibility should I really be charging my live in girlfriend "rent"?? 

[matchewed]

Also that $400 goes towards the bills but that grocery bill is typically split between us rather than taken out of the $400 she gives me. This may be an issue that should have been mentioned earlier.   

So is it that combined you spend $200-$250 on groceries or that combined you spend $400-$500 on groceries? If the former then you're doing fine. If the latter then you guys need to spend less on groceries. Way too much money if that's the case. You could easily shave off $100-$200 if it's the latter.

[nottoscale]

Total we spend no more then $350 for groceries a month.
$350 would be a steak and lobster month the average is close to $250 this is in my mint details since I typically pick up the bill and she'll throw me some cash or pay for something else.

I can't even imagine spending $500 on groceries... My freezer and fridge would be bursting.

[matchewed]

Total we spend no more then $350 for groceries a month.
$350 would be a steak and lobster month the average is close to $250 this is in my mint details since I typically pick up the bill and she'll throw me some cash or pay for something else.

I can't even imagine spending $500 on groceries... My freezer and fridge would be bursting.

I'm with you on that one. But there are plenty here (and more not) who can't imagine spending less for two people.

[sandandsun]

"...should I really be charging my live in girlfriend "rent"??"
um.  yeah.  What would it cost her to rent/eat/live if she wasn't your live in gf?
And that's from a female POV...

[GreenSheep]

"...should I really be charging my live in girlfriend "rent"??"
um.  yeah.  What would it cost her to rent/eat/live if she wasn't your live in gf?
And that's from a female POV...

Yes. I wouldn't necessarily call it rent, though. I'd just call it contributing to the life and home that the two of you share. It sounds like it's time to have a very open conversation about finances with her. Sure, it's smart to keep financial stuff private at a cocktail party, but when it comes to someone you love, live with, and presumably plan to spend your life with, there should be no secrets.

[Tjat]

Lots of excuses here. Can't switch to T-mobile because you are familiar with AT&T deadspots. Can't drop cable TV because you watch a lot of hockey. Can't slow down your internet because you need to play games and stream while you and your GF constantly watch TV.

As of right now, you are barely scraping buy and not doing anything to help your future. Seems like you want to change but can't commit to the little things that'll help you get there

"Reasonable Plan" to succeed
1. Realize that you need to actually make some sacrifices to achieve your goals and not atrophy your brain sitting in front of a screen in your free time.
2. Reduce your internet to 10mps and stop worrying about and paying for ways to download illegal torrents.
3. Switch to T-mobile to pay off your plan. Or wait for your contract to be up and switch to an MVNO. Redpocket will give you up to a Gig of data and unlimited min/text for $37 a month.
4. Cancel cable TV. Keep netflix and buy an antenna to get OTA signals. If you must watch out of market hockey, there are plenty of ways to legally stream online.
5. Get on the same page with your GF. Does she have a plan for the future, or is she content to sit in sweats in front of the TV while you subsidize her rent?
6. Can you make more money?
7. Develop a financial philosophy. With your situation, you may want to start with Dave Ramsey until you get on your feet.

[robartsd]

What would be a fair amount to ask for? keep in mind I have the house paid off, all the fees for the house are not her responsibility should I really be charging my live in girlfriend "rent"??

You do have to understand that you are subsidizing her lifestyle (perhaps even the lifestyle of the family she nannies for if she is working below a fair wage). If you are OK with that then that is your decision; we're just pointing it out so that you are concious of that decision.

It sounds like the two of you should talk about your finances, goals, and future. If she knows that you are serious about spending your life with her and she is not willing to discuss her finances with you after being together for three years then that is a huge red flag. She may have debts you are unaware of or she may be saving a nest egg because she is afraid that you don't have the discipline to do it yourself - you won't know until you talk about it. You might choose to ask her to marry you after you pay off your credit card debt, you might choose to her now and start to set financial goals together right away. It is good that you are forming a plan for yourself; but it is probably time to begin considering planning together.

[nottoscale]

Lots of excuses here. Can't switch to T-mobile because you are familiar with AT&T deadspots. Can't drop cable TV because you watch a lot of hockey. Can't slow down your internet because you need to play games and stream while you and your GF constantly watch TV.

As of right now, you are barely scraping buy and not doing anything to help your future. Seems like you want to change but can't commit to the little things that'll help you get there

"Reasonable Plan" to succeed
1. Realize that you need to actually make some sacrifices to achieve your goals and not atrophy your brain sitting in front of a screen in your free time.
2. Reduce your internet to 10mps and stop worrying about and paying for ways to download illegal torrents.
3. Switch to T-mobile to pay off your plan. Or wait for your contract to be up and switch to an MVNO. Redpocket will give you up to a Gig of data and unlimited min/text for $37 a month.
4. Cancel cable TV. Keep netflix and buy an antenna to get OTA signals. If you must watch out of market hockey, there are plenty of ways to legally stream online.
5. Get on the same page with your GF. Does she have a plan for the future, or is she content to sit in sweats in front of the TV while you subsidize her rent?
6. Can you make more money?
7. Develop a financial philosophy. With your situation, you may want to start with Dave Ramsey until you get on your feet.

You paint a poor picture of me and I don't really appreciate it. I get home and I cook dinner I play music from the kitchen and if she isn't helping she's watching TV in the living room. Or she makes dinner and watches netflix  and I play games in the living room for 45 min while dinner cooks. At 9pm after working and school this is what I have the energy for. Weekends the TV and computer are off because we aren't home we're doing something outside or out at a friends. You paint me like some screenbound zombie.

I am cutting internet to 10 MBps  and droppign cable it takes more then 24 hours to make a decision and research things. Blindly following advice from a forum isn't my style.

When did I say anything about switching to T-mobile? I am going with the airvoice  (because they are on AT&T's network and my house is a dead spot for some other carriers this is important) MVNO after I figure out my data habits and how to limit them in the next 4 months while I finish out my contract.I also get to  keep my unlocked phones when I get rid of AT&T. 

There's the commitments to change. I need to get paid on the 1st before I go breaking any contracts or changing anything.

1. above are what I am conceding along with the $800 - $1000 a month to pay down my debt quickly
2. already covered and already said I'd be doing this.
3.  like I said above this is already in my plan.
4. Like I said already happening once I switch internet providers.
5. see below response to everyone talking about charging her rent
6. I have more than doubled my income in the last year and a half and keeping my spending from growing too like is has is what I am trying to fix now. With school and work I have very limited hours to take on more projects
7. I'm not paycheck to paycheck any more and I won't go back there.

I understand that she is getting a nice break it's not a surprise.  She works the hours she wants and enjoys the fact that she gets paid to play with kids. She wants to either go into teaching elementary or preschool so she'll have school and student teaching and a bunch of other stuff she'll have to do. Maybe she is saving for that, her business. She has never had a credit card so having hidden debt would be 1 year of college at no more than $15,000. I am not worried about her money YET. It is still HER MONEY and not OUR MONEY.  I want to get me set first then worry about both her and I together.

[BPA]

"...should I really be charging my live in girlfriend "rent"??"
um.  yeah.  What would it cost her to rent/eat/live if she wasn't your live in gf?
And that's from a female POV...

I think this is a very personal decision that only the OP can make.  My brother is my roommate and I charge him very little rent.  He does not have the same resources that I do and I love him.  Our social contract is not something I would want others scrutinizing...even though I know that the OP was looking for advice.

So, make the decision you want in your personal relationships. 

And mine is also a female point of view.

[nottoscale]

"...should I really be charging my live in girlfriend "rent"??"
um.  yeah.  What would it cost her to rent/eat/live if she wasn't your live in gf?
And that's from a female POV...

Our social contract is not something I would want others scrutinizing...

Thank you for wording this so perfectly.  Our living arrangement and what portion we pay per month is not a financial decision but a personal one.

[sandandsun]

"...should I really be charging my live in girlfriend "rent"??"
um.  yeah.  What would it cost her to rent/eat/live if she wasn't your live in gf?
And that's from a female POV...

Our social contract is not something I would want others scrutinizing...

Thank you for wording this so perfectly.  Our living arrangement and what portion we pay per month is not a financial decision but a personal one.

I, too, have subsidized family/friends lifestyle when I could/they couldn't... I wasn't suggesting that every relationship needs to be a financial one- BUT OP states that GF has an extra 800/month while he does not (unless I read that wrong- possible?)... that was the part of the story where I scratched my head... its not a matter of what she can/can't afford but, rather, what they have agreed that she will contribute.
Yes, this is your decision and you can do whatever you want.  But if you are asking about getting ahead/to FIRE, I think it is reasonable to question why OP is supporting someone who appears to have more extra money than he does?

[nottoscale]

"...should I really be charging my live in girlfriend "rent"??"
um.  yeah.  What would it cost her to rent/eat/live if she wasn't your live in gf?
And that's from a female POV...

Our social contract is not something I would want others scrutinizing...

Thank you for wording this so perfectly.  Our living arrangement and what portion we pay per month is not a financial decision but a personal one.

I, too, have subsidized family/friends lifestyle when I could/they couldn't... I wasn't suggesting that every relationship needs to be a financial one- BUT OP states that GF has an extra 800/month while he does not (unless I read that wrong- possible?)... that was the part of the story where I scratched my head... its not a matter of what she can/can't afford but, rather, what they have agreed that she will contribute.
Yes, this is your decision and you can do whatever you want.  But if you are asking about getting ahead/to FIRE, I think it is reasonable to question why OP is supporting someone who appears to have more extra money than he does?

What do you think would be fair to ask for as extra?

The market rate for rent on my apt would be $1200 a month. Should I really be hitting her for $600 a month to pay my debts that I accrued on my own just because she decided to live with me?

I'm not drowning these rates are all rounded up and add 10%.Before I'd get overtime and make $2800 - $3200 take home in a month, but I wouldn't save or pay down debt we'd (at MY behest) go on a trip or go to a fancy restaurant or something different. This is the type of thing I am looking to change. Using my extra money to benefit future me and my long term goals rather than a nice steak and an expensive trip. 

How can I ask for more money from her when I've burned my own to set myself on fire before???

[robartsd]

What do you think would be fair to ask for as extra?

The market rate for rent on my apt would be $1200 a month. Should I really be hitting her for $600 a month to pay my debts that I accrued on my own just because she decided to live with me?

I'm not drowning these rates are all rounded up and add 10%.Before I'd get overtime and make $2800 - $3200 take home in a month, but I wouldn't save or pay down debt we'd (at MY behest) go on a trip or go to a fancy restaurant or something different. This is the type of thing I am looking to change. Using my extra money to benefit future me and my long term goals rather than a nice steak and an expensive trip. 

How can I ask for more money from her when I've burned my own to set myself on fire before???

Yes, it would be "fair" to ask her to pay half of all expenses. Relationships aren't about being fair though. I really think you should be discussing finances as part of the relationship.

I wouldn't avoid discussing finances or moving forward in your relationship because of your debt. Sure, you've spent a little unwisely in the past and you're making some good changes; but unless you don't stick to those changes you are a catch financially (paid off condo, working hard for a decent wage, pursuing education to increase earning power). Perhaps you have to prove to yourself that you are really worthy of your net-worth as it is primarily due to inherited money.

[Jakejake]

I wouldn't charge her any rent since the place is owned outright - the goal shouldn't be to profit from her. But she's an adult with a job and as much disposable income as you, it seems. So it's entirely reasonable for her to pay her full share of all the utilities, her own phone, and contribute toward property taxes.

It shouldn't be that hard a conversation to have. "Hey, I want to pay down my debts so I'm not stressed about student loans and I can get the credit card bill off my back. Can we sit down on Sunday and go over our expenses and how we are paying for them?" And then you discuss things you need to cut, at least for now, to redirect your money. And the first stuff you put on the chopping block is stuff that benefits her more than you. Either you get a yes to cutting it, or if she says no, you ask if she'd be willing to chip in more, since that seems like something that's more important to her than you.

At some point you have to be talking about the budget anyway, because if you just stop going out on the town with her without having a talk about the reason, she's going to misinterpret that as not wanting to go out with her, instead of trying to pay your debts so you can be FI.

[nottoscale]

Perhaps you have to prove to yourself that you are really worthy of your net-worth as it is primarily due to inherited money.
[/quote]

That's something I hadn't thought of but most certainly a portion of how I feel. 

We talked about the internet and cable last night she was on-board and said cut away. Like I said I'm the party-time fun guy.  She is on-board with the cuts. Our logic in the $400 is below.

Cable: $200
Phones: $200
Electric:$100
Gas: $100
Groceries split per trip or switch off.

That's where $400 came from. I viewed everything else as a function of my bills for the house. After reductions though I think I will still ask for $400 and include the following to release a bit of my pressure.

Cable: $60
Phones: Pay your own (she doesn't like the alacarte plans I am looking at)
Electric:$100
Gas: $100
Condo assn: $180
Tax Savings: $200
Groceries split per trip or switch off.

We'll be having a conversation tonight or very soon about this and more.

[robartsd]

Perhaps you have to prove to yourself that you are really worthy of your net-worth as it is primarily due to inherited money.

That's something I hadn't thought of but most certainly a portion of how I feel. 

At least you're realizing it and thinking about what you can do to not squander your inheritance.

[spruce]

If you're on AT&T now maybe look into getting Cricket, I pay $35/mo. for unlimited talk, text, and 2MB fast data (unlimited, but slows down after use 2MB).

We use Frontier for Internet, $30/mo for 6mbps. Regularly stream Netflix on one screen and play games on another and have no problems. We started at that level, figuring we could move up if we wanted, but never have needed higher speeds.

As for finances, it is absolutely a personal decision, but here is what worked for us. Our incomes have never been the same; one of us is usually making 30-50% more than the other. After a few different iterations, we ended up keeping track of household spending and splitting it by percentages according to income. Our mortgage we split 50/50 just so we'd stay equal in that (before we married). We got a joint credit card last year and have everything auto-pay off that, which makes it very easy to see all joint transactions and split the payment every month.

Having frank conversations about finances was a huge benefit to our relationship. Why? Because we then had joint goals and plans to get there, and we jointly made spending decisions to reflect those goals. I would never have married my husband if I didn't know how he felt about finances and know that we are generally on the same page.  I'm a bigger saver than he is, mostly because he's not driven to make a lot of money, but neither of us want to spend much so it works out. It sounds like you and your GF may be similar. We had an inexpensive wedding earlier this year that we paid for ourselves with the same income split method. Even after marriage we keep our separate accounts because we do spend on different things (and I still have student loans), but all of our joint purchases are made jointly and we are both responsible for them. 

Having those conversations are really important if you're considering marriage - and who knows, it may make your relationship even stronger! Best of luck to you!