Author Topic: I'm thinking of moving out: more expenses  (Read 4274 times)

k290

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 148
  • Age: 28
I'm thinking of moving out: more expenses
« on: April 04, 2015, 11:10:15 AM »
I am 25 and still live with my dad on the weekends. I live in the city during the workweek in a small apartment.

I am thinking of moving out 100% because there is a new person in our household and that gives me anxiety. I need to do it. But I'm not looking forward to the somewhat extra food costs and having to spend money at the laundromat to get my washing done.  I can't fit my own washing machine and dryer in my apartment as there is no space for it.

Maybe I should wait for my next raise. I have a feeling that this move will bring my savings closer to 40% of my salary rather than 50%.  I wanted to pull the trigger this weekend but its easter and didn't do it. 1 more week of free washing! But I guess its a good step towards becoming self-sufficient

iamlindoro

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1520
    • The Earth Awaits
Re: I'm thinking of moving out: more expenses
« Reply #1 on: April 04, 2015, 11:14:36 AM »
Why would 2 extra days in an apartment you're already paying for reduce your saving by 10%?  I know I'm probably being simplistic, but it's possible to eat cheap, entertain yourself for free, and keep utility bills at next to nothing-- sure, there will be a slight increase, but 10% relative to anything sure seems like a lot for food + utilities for two extra days.

Shamantha

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 126
Re: I'm thinking of moving out: more expenses
« Reply #2 on: April 04, 2015, 11:15:22 AM »
You are 25, about time to get fully independant. Don't you pay anything towards the costs at your fathers house? In that case I would be ashamed and would not dare to start complaining about now having to start paying for food in the weekend en washing clothes.

maricela

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 28
Re: I'm thinking of moving out: more expenses
« Reply #3 on: April 04, 2015, 12:48:00 PM »
This is so weird. Seriously, grow up and move out completely. Mooching off parents to get yourself ahead is wrong. You make him pay more in utilities and food so you don't have to? It's not like you make so little you can't afford to do it.

k290

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 148
  • Age: 28
Re: I'm thinking of moving out: more expenses
« Reply #4 on: April 04, 2015, 01:54:55 PM »
Points taken.

I don't understand why it should be "weird"/"shameful" to still be at home at 25. What is this 1970?

But yes I do see I should not be complaining.
« Last Edit: April 04, 2015, 01:59:32 PM by k290 »

iamlindoro

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1520
    • The Earth Awaits
Re: I'm thinking of moving out: more expenses
« Reply #5 on: April 04, 2015, 02:00:01 PM »
Points taken.

But I don't understand why it should be "weird"/"shameful" to still be at home at 25. What is this 1970?

Opinions vary.  Personally I don't think it's a big deal if your parent or parents have offered in order to help you out.  Obviously it's another if they're telling you to GTFO. :D

If you search the forum, you'll find that there are lots of strong opinions on both sides.  Just one of those divisive things I guess.  Don't feel bad about it-- if you and your family are ok with it, it's nobody else's business. 

Shamantha

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 126
Re: I'm thinking of moving out: more expenses
« Reply #6 on: April 04, 2015, 02:03:56 PM »
Points taken.

I don't understand why it should be "weird"/"shameful" to still be at home at 25. What is this 1970?

But yes I do see I should not be complaining.
Not shameful to be living at home, but to be living off your father in the weekend while you are earning a wage yourself. If you stay, at least pay.

k290

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 148
  • Age: 28
Re: I'm thinking of moving out: more expenses
« Reply #7 on: April 04, 2015, 02:08:11 PM »
Points taken.

I don't understand why it should be "weird"/"shameful" to still be at home at 25. What is this 1970?

But yes I do see I should not be complaining.
Not shameful to be living at home, but to be living off your father in the weekend while you are earning a wage yourself. If you stay, at least pay.

Cool, I misunderstood

Villanelle

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 2252
Re: I'm thinking of moving out: more expenses
« Reply #8 on: April 04, 2015, 02:23:37 PM »
Points taken.

I don't understand why it should be "weird"/"shameful" to still be at home at 25. What is this 1970?

But yes I do see I should not be complaining.

I don't think it's weird or shameful to be living at home. I do think it's kind of weird if you are contributing to the household though, and it sounds like you aren't.  (Of course, you could be making significant non-financial contributions, beyond just your share of chores.)

When is your lease up?  Can you move into a new place with a w/d?  Or do you have a friend with w/d who might let you do a couple loads a week for a few bucks each (cheaper than a Laundromat for you, but more than covering his utility costs).

Also, you can buy a drying rack for your apartment and not have to spend money drying at the laundromat. 

k290

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 148
  • Age: 28
Re: I'm thinking of moving out: more expenses
« Reply #9 on: April 04, 2015, 02:30:32 PM »
Points taken.

I don't understand why it should be "weird"/"shameful" to still be at home at 25. What is this 1970?

But yes I do see I should not be complaining.

I don't think it's weird or shameful to be living at home. I do think it's kind of weird if you are contributing to the household though, and it sounds like you aren't.  (Of course, you could be making significant non-financial contributions, beyond just your share of chores.)

When is your lease up?  Can you move into a new place with a w/d?  Or do you have a friend with w/d who might let you do a couple loads a week for a few bucks each (cheaper than a Laundromat for you, but more than covering his utility costs).

Also, you can buy a drying rack for your apartment and not have to spend money drying at the laundromat.

My rent is really really  cheap, so in the end paying at a laundromat will still work out cheaper. But you're right I can get a drying rack. That would halve my costs at the laundromat.

11ducks

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 525
  • Location: Duckville, Australia
Re: I'm thinking of moving out: more expenses
« Reply #10 on: April 04, 2015, 03:04:21 PM »
We didnt have a washing machine when I first moved out- washed clothes in the shower/bath and used a clothes drying rack. Yes it's not as easy, but it's very doable, esp for smaller things. People survived without washing machines for thousands of years-just a thought.

I don't think anyone here knows your situation, so just ignore the judgement and do what is best for you- I think that mental health is 1000000x more important than an extra 10% savings. Maybe without the anxiety that the living situation brings, you'll be in a better place to trim other budget areas (when I'm stressed, I eat much worse than usual, shop more, pay for stupidly expensive yoga classes etc). Good luck! Xo

Ricky

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 842
Re: I'm thinking of moving out: more expenses
« Reply #11 on: April 04, 2015, 05:23:05 PM »
How is living in your apartment, that you're already renting, an extra 8 days a month going to cost you any more? Am I missing something? Wouldn't it be cheaper unless your dad buys all your food?

Based on what you've said, you've already "moved out", you're just looking for justification to stay at your dads on the weekends? That's up to you dude, we have no idea about the relationship between you and your dad.

BPA

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1144
Re: I'm thinking of moving out: more expenses
« Reply #12 on: April 04, 2015, 05:38:41 PM »
I've thought that if I ever live without a laundry room, I would buy one of these: http://www.amazon.com/As-Seen-On-TV-WONDER/dp/B000BTDNEK, a wringer, and I already have a drying rack.



Retire-Canada

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 6757
Re: I'm thinking of moving out: more expenses
« Reply #13 on: April 05, 2015, 09:58:13 AM »
Points taken.

I don't understand why it should be "weird"/"shameful" to still be at home at 25. What is this 1970?


I'm 20yrs older than you and it would have been pretty lame to be at home when I was 25 back then in the 80's. LOL! I was living alone at 15 with parental $$ support and in the army at 17 after which I never was supported by my parents again.

Personally I grew up wanting to be as independent as possible as early as possible.

-- Vik

justajane

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 2147
  • Location: Midwest
Re: I'm thinking of moving out: more expenses
« Reply #14 on: April 05, 2015, 10:07:38 AM »
How much laundry are we talking about here? When I was single I had between 1-2 loads a week. I can't imagine that would break the bank. Perhaps consider changing your laundry habits. We wear our shirts twice and a pants multiple times. Towels? At least a week. Sheets between 1-3 weeks. The only things that get changed daily are underwear and socks. FWIW, we don't smell.

mtnrider

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 256
  • Location: Frozen tundra in the Northeast
Re: I'm thinking of moving out: more expenses
« Reply #15 on: April 05, 2015, 10:59:27 AM »
+1 on the laundry stuff above, but I'll agree with Villanelle's somewhat contrarian view on living arrangements. 

Living with dad on the weekends isn't bad or shameful... IF it's mutually beneficial.  Maybe dad needs a hand around the house.  Maybe he enjoys your company.  Maybe he just wants to help you. 

BUT, you need to be sure this is working for you too.  Do you feel less free?  Does living with him give you additional freedom?  Would you do something completely different (better), perhaps move across the country to a better job, attend school, change a relationship if you weren't at dad's on the weekends?

I feel like there's often a quid pro quo in these situations.  You get some financial benefit, but the other party gets a (perhaps unspoken) option to have a say in your life.  That's something to think about and avoid, if possible.



BPA

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1144
Re: I'm thinking of moving out: more expenses
« Reply #16 on: April 05, 2015, 11:19:11 AM »
+1 on the laundry stuff above, but I'll agree with Villanelle's somewhat contrarian view on living arrangements. 

Living with dad on the weekends isn't bad or shameful... IF it's mutually beneficial.  Maybe dad needs a hand around the house.  Maybe he enjoys your company.  Maybe he just wants to help you. 

BUT, you need to be sure this is working for you too.  Do you feel less free?  Does living with him give you additional freedom?  Would you do something completely different (better), perhaps move across the country to a better job, attend school, change a relationship if you weren't at dad's on the weekends?

I feel like there's often a quid pro quo in these situations.  You get some financial benefit, but the other party gets a (perhaps unspoken) option to have a say in your life.  That's something to think about and avoid, if possible.

I agree.  If Dad doesn't have a problem with it, I don't think it's shameful at all.  In fact, in order to help my son out, I have told him that he will have a home with me whenever he likes.  He is a very pleasant young man, and I like having him around. I do not try to control his life much (although he is still in high school, so he does need to follow my rules), and he would certainly be free to live his life as he chooses as an adult. 

I don't believe in letting others determine my value system (ie whether living at home is shameful when one is 25) and encourage the same self-reflection in my son.  I would have been FI a whole lot earlier than I was if I didn't have to move out when I was 19. 

Decide for yourself, OP.  If things aren't' as great as they once were and you decide it's time to stay at your own place more often, so be it.  But I see nothing shameful in living with Dad into adulthood.