how will you quit?

[okits]

Retired Federal government employee.

For years I carried the form necessary to retire in my DayPlanner.  (It's the government so of course there is a form.)  I fantasied about whipping it out in the middle of some god awful meeting where I was being beaten up by upper management.  I planned on signing it "to be effective immediately" and walking out.  I'd be famous among my peers and employees.

When the time came, however, I told my immediate supervisor about a year ahead of time that I'd be retiring around the end of the year.  Got the big lunch, Meritorious Civilian Service Award, the whole shebang.

I love your story. :) Quit-scenario fantasies are great entertainment.

When I was in the government everyone was very open on when they could retire (based on pension and an age + service calculation.)  So no real surprises, you knew years in advance (lots of time to order the cake!)

[sol]

When I was in the government everyone was very open on when they could retire (based on pension and an age + service calculation.)  So no real surprises, you knew years in advance (lots of time to order the cake!)

Using that methodology, I'll be surprising a lot of people.  I intend to retire long before I'm eligible to collect a pension.

[okits]

When I was in the government everyone was very open on when they could retire (based on pension and an age + service calculation.)  So no real surprises, you knew years in advance (lots of time to order the cake!)

Using that methodology, I'll be surprising a lot of people.  I intend to retire long before I'm eligible to collect a pension.

I found it a strange and not altogether good thing that retirement and collecting one's pension were such widespread and open obsessions. That has to be bad for morale. It's like an auto assembly line I once toured. Despite being well-paid union jobs some workers had signs taped to their workstations: "KIDS, STAY IN SCHOOL!  DON'T WORK HERE!"

[SwordGuy]

Got hired by a company back in 2005.    Shortly after I joined one employee started sending out "Hey! Project Lead!  You are a dumbass!" emails to his project leader.   He back-copied darn near everyone in the office.

Needless to say, this led to bad feelings and reprisals by the project lead.

One day someone went to the guy's office and found this note scribbled onto a torn piece of paper taped to his office door:

GONE!!!!
------------
------------
------------

Given that all his books had been cleared out it was pretty obvious to us that he didn't mean he had left for a dentist appointment.

So, 3 days went by and he was fired for job abandonment.

Two weeks later he showed up, wanting to come back to work.

Apparently he wasn't FI ready.    :)    And he didn't get his job back...


But it gets better...


Not too long after that I started hearing that the project leader was going to turn in the company to the federal fraud, waste and abuse hotline because of -- drum roll please  -- how his project had been managed.   

Surely to Gawd, you are thinking, he wouldn't formally accuse himself to the Feds for fraud, waste and abuse?   Surely you must have misunderstood?

Nope.   I went over to his office to ask him something and there on his computer monitor was the website for that.

He suddenly didn't have a job position anymore.  Can't speak for the details, but just for the record, I had nothing to do with it.

---- 

But it gets better.

Both of these two individuals were so hard to get along with that they both ended up taking jobs in Iraq where they were -- drum roll again -- stuck in the same shack together for months at a time.


I would suggest better FI and job quitting strategies... :)

[My Own Advisor]

Probably 2-4 weeks depending upon the job/project I'm working on.  No burning bridges...you never know in life....

[vern]

So, 3 days went by and he was fired for job abandonment.

Two weeks later he showed up, wanting to come back to work.

Ah, drugs are great aren't they?

[HenryDavid]

By tapering: 75% of full-time work this year and probably next, then maybe a year at 50%, then done.

Employer highly supportive, co-workers confused. Can't figure how anyone can afford to do this.

[GuitarStv]

I can't tell you exactly when . . . and I can't tell you exactly how . . . but I will be very relaxed and pants-less when I do quit.

[LalsConstant]

I will hum on my way out while emptying the gas can behind me, nearly spreading its contents.

Then at the threshold, casually turn around, click open a Zippo lighter with a skull emblem on it, and just as casually toss it over my right shoulder.

I will take ten steps forward.  A giant Michael Bay explosion will erupt behind me and I will walk away slowly and not look at it.

As the sound effects fade and the theme begins to play I will then say in an Austrian accent.  "Consider that my two weeks notice you son of a bitch."

I will then punch a motorcycle riding ninja in the face and 20 minutes later be in my Tibetan luxury condo, guarded by a secret monastic order.

[iamlindoro]

I will hum on my way out while emptying the gas can behind me, nearly spreading its contents.

Then at the threshold, casually turn around, click open a Zippo lighter with a skull emblem on it, and just as casually toss it over my right shoulder.

I will take ten steps forward.  A giant Michael Bay explosion will erupt behind me and I will walk away slowly and not look at it.

As the sound effects fade and the theme begins to play I will then say in an Austrian accent.  "Consider that my two weeks notice you son of a bitch."

I will then punch a motorcycle riding ninja in the face and 20 minutes later be in my Tibetan luxury condo, guarded by a secret monastic order.

[TheOldestYoungMan]

I always said that if I won the lottery, I mean huge, one of those several hundred million dollar things, that my coworkers would just never hear from me again.  They'd show up to work one day, and some of them would have a check on their desk.  The useful ones.  But I'd just be gone.

As I don't actually want to stop working entirely, I just would like to go down to one or two days a week, with an option for getting the next couple weeks outta the way so I can be off for months at a time, I plan to wait until the day I could never work again for the money, and then try to negotiate fewer hours.

Something like, "here's my two week notice.  If you want me to stay on part time, I'd like that."

But I know too many folks who've been screwed over by their employers dropping them with no notice to trust this place with months notice, and I'm way too ready to be done to offer months notice after I could already be gone.

I think if you do have fantasies about going nuts or whatever, you might look into a new job right now instead of waiting.  There's alot of neat jobs out there folks.

[mathlete]

I have no grand plans for when I quit but I'd like to share a story.

Way back in my high school days, I waited tables at a restaurant chain famous for their free cornbread. It was very common for guests to ask for more free cornbread in lieu of ordering actual menu items. Occasionally, guests would come in and eat cornbread, and then "change their mind" about wanting to dine with us and leave.

A particularly disgruntled coworker of mine often fantasized about his last day. He said he would take a basket of stale cornbread and throw it into the ceiling fan, spreading chunks of cornbread all over the dining room. He would then walk out, never to return.

I left before he did so I'm unsure of whether or not this fantasy was fulfilled.

[mak1277]

Planning to quit on my birthday, shortly after vesting in some stock options and earning my annual bonus for the prior year.  I am going to offer to "consult" at 20 hours per week for 2-3 months while my replacement is identified, but I won't be upset at all if that offer is declined.

[brooklynguy]

I will hum on my way out while emptying the gas can behind me, nearly spreading its contents.

Then at the threshold, casually turn around, click open a Zippo lighter with a skull emblem on it, and just as casually toss it over my right shoulder.

I will take ten steps forward.  A giant Michael Bay explosion will erupt behind me and I will walk away slowly and not look at it.

As the sound effects fade and the theme begins to play I will then say in an Austrian accent.  "Consider that my two weeks notice you son of a bitch."

I will then punch a motorcycle riding ninja in the face and 20 minutes later be in my Tibetan luxury condo, guarded by a secret monastic order.

I love how each successive paragraph provides greater comfort that you are indeed joking.  After reading the first two, I worried that you might actually end up spending your retirement in prison, but by the last one I felt confident you were being facetious (and that even the most humorless law enforcement agents who happen to be monitoring this forum would realize as much).

[SteveR]

I have my little fantasies, but assuming everything goes according to plan, the reality will be a deliberate damp squib. I work on contract so it's quite natural for me to change "employer" every 18-36 months anyway (renewing every six months). I often take a few months off to travel between jobs. When I hit the magic number, I'm just going to run the current contract out and disappear to "travel for a few months before I look for another job". I'll just never get round to looking for another job. Well, not a tedious, politics-ridden, soul-crushing, five days a week, eight hours a day job anyway. I basically plan to be stealth retired anyway; perhaps one or two very close friends/family members will know, everyone else will be told I've downshifted and am doing a little bit of freelance work to make ends meet. I'd love to go out with a big impressive bang, but I think in a way it will be more viscerally satisfying to feel that I'm a kind of FI wolf in sheep's clothing.

[Hedge_87]

I will hum on my way out while emptying the gas can behind me, nearly spreading its contents.

Then at the threshold, casually turn around, click open a Zippo lighter with a skull emblem on it, and just as casually toss it over my right shoulder.

I will take ten steps forward.  A giant Michael Bay explosion will erupt behind me and I will walk away slowly and not look at it.

As the sound effects fade and the theme begins to play I will then say in an Austrian accent.  "Consider that my two weeks notice you son of a bitch."

I will then punch a motorcycle riding ninja in the face and 20 minutes later be in my Tibetan luxury condo, guarded by a secret monastic order.

I love how each successive paragraph provides greater comfort that you are indeed joking.  After reading the first two, I worried that you might actually end up spending your retirement in prison, but by the last one I felt confident you were being facetious (and that even the most humorless law enforcement agents who happen to be monitoring this forum would realize as much).

At least living expenses would be covered by the state lol

[toodleoo]

Two weeks notice, the day after my annual bonus hits my bank account. I'm too risk-averse to do anything else :)

[risky4me]

  This is a difficult one for me, as I really appreciate who I work for. I manage projects and turning them over to another in my company will be a hardship for them. I am leaving in three months and would prefer to give one months notice(once the cats out of the bag there is no putting it back in), but I feel they deserve more.
   This has been a great company to work for, have been very supportive in difficult times, and I want to keep the door open for possible consulting in the future. That said, it is hard to predict how people will react and I can see how, if I give more notice, that I might regret it. I am playing it by ear and will have to speak up if the try to assign me new work.

   One the happy side, I have become the TEFLON MAN- nothing that happens tends to bother me. If I were here long term I would have to be more assertive about how things might effect my position, now I just shrug it off, smile, and realize it is not a problem for me to stress about- great feeling.

[rocketpj]

Well. I'm rapidly approaching self employed as my company finally has started to make some decent money, so when I quit that I suspect it will be by selling the company.  As for this job, I have a lot of respect for my boss and coworkers and it takes months to train someone to do it well without getting hurt, so I'll probably give 3 months notice when I make the leap to 100% self employed.

Though if I have many more days like yesterday that might change dramatically.

[steveo]

I have my little fantasies, but assuming everything goes according to plan, the reality will be a deliberate damp squib. I work on contract so it's quite natural for me to change "employer" every 18-36 months anyway (renewing every six months). I often take a few months off to travel between jobs. When I hit the magic number, I'm just going to run the current contract out and disappear to "travel for a few months before I look for another job". I'll just never get round to looking for another job. Well, not a tedious, politics-ridden, soul-crushing, five days a week, eight hours a day job anyway. I basically plan to be stealth retired anyway; perhaps one or two very close friends/family members will know, everyone else will be told I've downshifted and am doing a little bit of freelance work to make ends meet. I'd love to go out with a big impressive bang, but I think in a way it will be more viscerally satisfying to feel that I'm a kind of FI wolf in sheep's clothing.

I like this idea and its where I'm looking to end up. Just keep it quiet and play stupid.

[Jakejake]

My bosses and students know I plan to leave in 4 years. I've seen too many freakouts by students who have emotional issues and feel caught off guard when their teachers leave - some of them are coming from home situations where parents have abandoned them.

The only way this might go different is if I can convince my husband to take an early out (VERA/VSIP for government workers). I think we have enough to FIRE now (almost 2M), he disagrees, but if I win him over and he jumps on that, I'm sure the hell not going to work every day while he sits around being retired!

[NinetyFour]

Mine will be a little over a year, partly because of wanting to be sure my department keeps the tenure-track line and has the opportunity to hire for it (hiring season is fall-winter for a next-fall start in much of academia) and partly to avoid derailing the graduation plans of any of our majors - courses are planned out a year in advance, and I teach one that those who are going to graduate school really need.

I am also in higher education.  I have seen faculty members decide in May that they will not be returning the next Fall, but that leaves their department in a difficult place--with no time to do a proper search for a replacement.  I will not do that to my department; I will inform them about 1 year ahead of time.

[YK-Phil]

My bosses and students know I plan to leave in 4 years. I've seen too many freakouts by students who have emotional issues and feel caught off guard when their teachers leave - some of them are coming from home situations where parents have abandoned them.

^ This. A teacher. My mom was a teacher. Teachers are our unsung heroes.

[OldPro]

Why are you asking the question sol?  Obviously, what anyone SHOULD do will depend on their job.  What some WILL do depends on their personality and intelligence level. 

My question is why are you asking? 

[sol]

Why are you asking the question sol?

Mostly to help people visualize the process they are working towards.  I think the RE goal is sometimes a little vague and malformed for people here, and actually thinking about the mechanics of it helps move people along.

What paperwork will you have to do?  What conversations will you have with what coworkers, and in what order?  How are you going to hand off projects, or clean out your workspace?

In my specific case the process of quitting is going to very much depend on how my job changes between now and then.  There are proposed changes afoot that I am eagerly trying to encourage, but if they don't happen and I stay where I am now then I expect that will have a hard time quitting gracefully.  The temptation to inform management that individual problem coworkers are the ultimate reason for my departure will be strong.

[pbkmaine]

Why are you asking the question sol?

Mostly to help people visualize the process they are working towards.  I think the RE goal is sometimes a little vague and malformed for people here, and actually thinking about the mechanics of it helps move people along.

What paperwork will you have to do?  What conversations will you have with what coworkers, and in what order?  How are you going to hand off projects, or clean out your workspace?

In my specific case the process of quitting is going to very much depend on how my job changes between now and then.  There are proposed changes afoot that I am eagerly trying to encourage, but if they don't happen and I stay where I am now then I expect that will have a hard time quitting gracefully.  The temptation to inform management that individual problem coworkers are the ultimate reason for my departure will be strong.

Sol, it is almost impossible to resist the urge to tell them the ways the company is dysfunctional when you are on your way out the door. But you never know when or if you might need a good reference. Life brings change. Resisting the urge led in my case to some fun, lucrative and not at all time consuming part time consulting work for my old company.

[sol]

Resisting the urge led in my case to some fun, lucrative and not at all time consuming part time consulting work for my old company.

Yes, I've heard that story many times.  But I work for the feds, and will be legally barred from doing any consulting for or even any business with my employer after I leave federal service.

[DoubleDown]

Resisting the urge led in my case to some fun, lucrative and not at all time consuming part time consulting work for my old company.

Yes, I've heard that story many times.  But I work for the feds, and will be legally barred from doing any consulting for or even any business with my employer after I leave federal service.

Not forever, though, right? Usually that restriction exists only for a year or two at most.

[sol]

Not forever, though, right? Usually that restriction exists only for a year or two at most.

It's two years for most things, but it's definitely forever for others.  Don't ask me what, just take my word for it.  Depending on the nature of your work, there are potentially all kinds of things Uncle Sam doesn't want you involved with afterwards.

But isn't the first two years when someone is most likely to want to find post-retirement consultancy income anyway?  I figure if you survive the first two years with decent stock market returns, your odds of success have already gone way up.

[arebelspy]

But isn't the first two years when someone is most likely to want to find post-retirement consultancy income anyway?  I figure if you survive the first two years with decent stock market returns, your odds of success have already gone way up.

Maybe.  But if the returns are dismal after the first two years, you might want to consult to help bolster your income to "ride it out."

[Retired To Win]

Whenever I have given more than 2 weeks notice, it has come back to bite me in the butt.  As soon as you let people know you are going to be leaving, they naturally start scrambling to replace you.  And they'll dump you before you were ready to go if they find someone to replace you soon enough.

Two weeks.  That's it.

[happy]

Officially its 4 weeks written notice in my area. However I'll probably have a discussion with my director some 3-12 months in advance so that they can figure it into their staffing plans. Most likely it will be cordial.

There are a few possible storms on the horizon that may or may not come about, that might turn out to be untenable and cause me to decide to resign in a more dramatic fashion: i.e. " this is not reasonable, if you direct me to do this I will resign." But it will still be 4 weeks notice in writing.

[MLKnits]

I'm a partner in a business, so it's going to take a fair bit of pre-planning before I leave, even if I were to just say "keep my clients, keep my equity, keep in touch."

But (although I have a long way to go) I've started laying the basic groundwork of "just so we're clear, you guys are wonderful but I'm not doing this for another thirty years."

[brooklynguy]

It's two years for most things, but it's definitely forever for others.  Don't ask me what, just take my word for it.  Depending on the nature of your work, there are potentially all kinds of things Uncle Sam doesn't want you involved with afterwards.

Anyone else reading this as a cryptic admission that sol works for central intelligence?

[PathtoFIRE]

Anyone else reading this as a cryptic admission that sol works for central intelligence?

Given the assumptions of geology and PNW, FIRECalc tells me there's an 86% chance it's either a volcano or earthquake superweapon project.

Anyway, my joke provoked a thought, if an alien race or distant human society uncovered this forum, where would FIRECalc fit into the general schema of religions/belief systems? Maybe the oracle? And to attempt to tie this back to the original question, would they assume that FIRE, quitting, etc., was our way of describing transcendence to a new realm of being?

[sol]

Anyone else reading this as a cryptic admission that sol works for central intelligence?

either a volcano or earthquake superweapon project.

No, but you see my point.  There are lots of different kinds of jobs that are unusually hard to just walk away from.

[patrickza]

Our office has an unpaid sabbatical option. I plan on asking for a sabbatical for a year, and give a few months notice that that is what I'd like. That way if the market crashes, or something else terrible happens I have a job to come back to. If everything goes well after the year I'll just resign from there. It also gives the office time to find someone to cover for me, so I consider it quite fair.

I may even cover both my and the office portion of the pension fund to add some buffer in there for the year.