How to Figure Out What You Want from Life - "The Three Questions"

[limeandpepper]

I popped over to J.D. Roth's blog today and I found the latest post interesting. George Kinder sounds like a pretty cool financial planner. The note at the end about Lakein with the similar questions are also thought-provoking.

http://www.jdroth.com/figure-want-life/

What would your answers to the questions be? For me:

1) (What would you do if you are FI and money is no object)
I'd quit my job to spend more time with family and friends, to travel, and to work on my own personal hobbies and projects.

2) (What would you do if you know you have only 5 - 10 years to live)
Same as above, I think. Also definitely sort out the end-of-life-stuff like making a will, etc., which I've not done yet.

3) (How would you feel and what would you regret if you find out you have only 24 hours to live)
Absolutely devastated, as I'm still young, I've had a good and happy life with the potential for much more to come, I'm not ready to go yet. I would wish I had spent more time with family and friends. I would wish I had downshifted or quit my job earlier, as even though I'm not FI yet, I do have enough savings to chug along for quite a while. However, I would say that, considering all the unknowns, I had tried my best to strike a balance between living for the moment and planning for the future, so hopefully in such an awful situation I am still able to accept that I'd done okay and be at peace, at least.

---

Coincidentally, I'm actually planning to take a sort of sabbatical to travel, spend more time with family, and hopefully get some ideas and projects happening as well. I wouldn't say I have figured out what I want for the rest of my life - but it is what I want in my life, right now, and I'm glad I'll be doing it soon.

[rosarugosa]

Wow, this is great food for thought.  I've been playing with these in my head all day while doing housework.  Still ruminating, but hiring a housekeeper would definitely be part of the answer to #1.  With finite resources, I'm a fan of insourcing, but I spend way too much of my "free" time performing drudgery.  Of course, that's also when I think great thoughts!

[kyanamerinas]

i'm never sure how to answer these kind of questions. i need to get thinking outside the box!

[Strawberrykiwi75]

Q1 & Q2: Stop working and travel, see and do everything. Volunteer for charity. Learn to have active relaxation. Read more good books. Look after myself better.

Q3: regret not doing the above

[grantmeaname]

For #3 I'd be devastated as I'm 21, of course, but I don't think I'd do anything that differently. I'm working hard on my own edification, I'm traveling the world at a reasonably fast pace, and I have good relationships with the people I love. I wouldn't reallocate any of my time from anything to anything else, which I think is what the questions are trying to get at. (Mortality sucks though. I just saw The Fault in Our Stars yesterday so it's very much in the front of my mind right now.)

I would keep my job for at least a couple years if I found a cool million tomorrow. I'm learning a lot from it, really quickly. After that I don't know though.

[GuitarStv]

1.  Immediately stop wearing pants.
2.  Immediately retire, as I would be comfortable to do so.  (Also, plan to take out a large insurance policy in just under five years.)
3.  Well, you could waste your last few hours being pissed off at yourself and the world.  Or, you could fill the day doing things that you like and spending time with people you love.  I'd probably aim for the latter.

[soccerluvof4]

1&2 Travel and not look back.

3- Just make sure shits taken care of that I am leaving behind properly before I say adios!

[SingleMomDebt]

Great questions. I share similar answers.

1) Leisurely Travel. RV around the US. Then definitely some international travel. Checking out lots of history and monuments.
2) Do #1 a little quicker. Make preparations, drink a lot more coffee and smoke a few cigarettes (if I knew for sure I was going in that time frame).
3) Throw a dinner party with friends and family. Have a very beautiful intimate night with someone after. Make sure to kiss my loved ones. Drink a nice cold brew. Cry and give my thanks.

[Ynari]

1.  Join the circus.

2. Join the circus.

3. Regret not joining the circus.

Dang...

[gildedbutterfly]

1.  Join the circus.

2. Join the circus.

3. Regret not joining the circus.

Dang...

Best. Answer. Ever.

[Louisville]

Ok, so let's say I think a long time and come up with answers to these questions. WTF do I then do with those answers? How do they become a plan of action?
Or am I missing the point somehow?

[Spartana]

Ok, so let's say I think a long time and come up with answers to these questions. WTF do I then do with those answers? How do they become a plan of action?
Or am I missing the point somehow?

I think the point is to these types of questions is to evoke awareness of what you are doing with your life. Most people go thru life on auto-pilot and do all the things that are expected of them (or they expect society expects of them) rather then what they might do.  They go to college, get a job, marry, have kids, buy a house, get a dog, golf, retire at 65, take a cruise, die - with little thought to what they actually WANT in life.

 Curious that no one's answer was to go to college, get a career, get married, have kids, buy a house, get a dog, golf, retire at 65, take a cruise, die.

[Ynari]

Ok, so let's say I think a long time and come up with answers to these questions. WTF do I then do with those answers? How do they become a plan of action?
Or am I missing the point somehow?

Personally, I'm simultaneously listening to the Freakonomic's quitting podcast and therefore considering if the 5 year minimum FIRE goal I have is too conservative.  When is the pull of my dreams greater than the pull of the security from income and stash?

[SingleMomDebt]

Curious that no one's answer was to go to college, get a career, get married, have kids, buy a house, get a dog, golf, retire at 65, take a cruise, die.

Ohhh, good call, Spartana!
Two scenerios: Because that is what 'society' calls on us to do... Or we are already living that 'dream' and found it doesn't work for us.

I'd much rather be wanderlust.

[Spartana]

Curious that no one's answer was to go to college, get a career, get married, have kids, buy a house, get a dog, golf, retire at 65, take a cruise, die.

Ohhh, good call, Spartana!
Two scenerios: Because that is what 'society' calls on us to do... Or we are already living that 'dream' and found it doesn't work for us.

I'd much rather be wanderlust.

Ha Ha - Yeah I was just being tongue-in-cheek! But some truth to that I suppose, in that the more traditional life might be the path many people have taken and they might be exactly where they want to be and have done exactly what they have wanted. Then the answers to the 3 questions would be:

1). what I'm doing now
2). what I'm doing now
3). no regrets.

Those are actually my answers to those questions but I have always had a somewhat unconventional life and have been able to do pretty much what I've wanted, so nothing I'd really change much in any situation.

[CommonCents]

Ok, so let's say I think a long time and come up with answers to these questions. WTF do I then do with those answers? How do they become a plan of action?
Or am I missing the point somehow?

I think the point is to these types of questions is to evoke awareness of what you are doing with your life. Most people go thru life on auto-pilot and do all the things that are expected of them (or they expect society expects of them) rather then what they might do.  They go to college, get a job, marry, have kids, buy a house, get a dog, golf, retire at 65, take a cruise, die - with little thought to what they actually WANT in life.

 Curious that no one's answer was to go to college, get a career, get married, have kids, buy a house, get a dog, golf, retire at 65, take a cruise, die.

Most people on this board already have gone to college, gotten a job/career, etc.  Many are married, have bought a house and have kids.  Although I want kids, I am not sure if I knew I was going die in 5-10 years that I'd want to have them knowing I'd definitely leave them at a fairly young age.

But yes, if FI with money no object, I would quit my job, get a dog, have kids, travel (including possibly cruises as my husband enjoys them) and spend more time with friends and family.  :)  I travel now, but with more time/money would do more.  Same re spending time with friends/family.  DH would worry less about the cost of kids.  And I wouldn't worry about leaving a puppy home all day while I was at work.  (Dog is on the 1 year plan)

[OneDogGP]

1)  Quit work, buy an older motor home, travel the US until I got tired of seeing new places or found that perfect spot that I want to retire at, then build a log cabin with a huge garage for tinkering with whatever project I decided on.  Then take a trip to Europe and spend a month playing tourist.

2)  Quit work, spend more time with family and friends.  Get my affairs in order and live a little bit larger than now experiencing what I've been missing out on due to the shackles of work.  Do the same travel plans, but wouldn't worry about the retirement spot as I won't be needing it.

3)  Quit work, go see my family and tell them that I love them and goodbye.  Take care of my affairs, then go get a sh*tload of cash from the bank, hit the next flight to Vegas, and go out with a pair of dice in one hand and a drink in the other!!!  (No devastation here, because at 45 yrs and no wife/kids I've had a pretty good life and won't be leaving anyone in the lurch!!!)

Man, I like this question...  and call me strange, but I'd love to know when my time was coming.  I think it would satiate the planner in me and I'd feel good knowing I did everything I could with whatever time I had left.  :)

[NoraLenderbee]

Ok, so let's say I think a long time and come up with answers to these questions. WTF do I then do with those answers? How do they become a plan of action?
Or am I missing the point somehow?

I think the point is to these types of questions is to evoke awareness of what you are doing with your life. Most people go thru life on auto-pilot and do all the things that are expected of them (or they expect society expects of them) rather then what they might do.  They go to college, get a job, marry, have kids, buy a house, get a dog, golf, retire at 65, take a cruise, die - with little thought to what they actually WANT in life.

 Curious that no one's answer was to go to college, get a career, get married, have kids, buy a house, get a dog, golf, retire at 65, take a cruise, die.

Most people on this board already have gone to college, gotten a job/career, etc.  Many are married, have bought a house and have kids. 

Also, most of those things can be done without FI or RE; they are compatible with an ordinary working life. You don't need FI to buy a house or take a cruise. Suddenly achieving FE wouldn't make me rush out and start playing golf; if I wanted to play golf, I could do it now.

[CommonCents]

Ok, so let's say I think a long time and come up with answers to these questions. WTF do I then do with those answers? How do they become a plan of action?
Or am I missing the point somehow?

I think the point is to these types of questions is to evoke awareness of what you are doing with your life. Most people go thru life on auto-pilot and do all the things that are expected of them (or they expect society expects of them) rather then what they might do.  They go to college, get a job, marry, have kids, buy a house, get a dog, golf, retire at 65, take a cruise, die - with little thought to what they actually WANT in life.

 Curious that no one's answer was to go to college, get a career, get married, have kids, buy a house, get a dog, golf, retire at 65, take a cruise, die.

Most people on this board already have gone to college, gotten a job/career, etc.  Many are married, have bought a house and have kids. 

Also, most of those things can be done without FI or RE; they are compatible with an ordinary working life. You don't need FI to buy a house or take a cruise. Suddenly achieving FE wouldn't make me rush out and start playing golf; if I wanted to play golf, I could do it now.

Yes.  I have no interest in golf.  Mini golf on the other hand, I plan to do Sunday to celebrate my nephew's birthday.

Although I do note the issue that many people have in not matching up their reality with their dreams, in that many claim they value things that they spend little time on day to day.  I think people are more aware on this site of various tradeoffs.  For example, I spend time cleaning my house (which I have little desire to do) rather than things I would prefer to do (read a book, work on a quilt), in order to save money for FI so later I will have even more freedom to do what I want with my time/money.

[tooqk4u22]

1)  not what I am doing and instead traveling, family, leisure, learn

2) celebrate that I have 5-10 left and spend those 5-10 with my family and making sure my children have the tools/traits to be independent.

3) I have no regrets - anything I have or have not done has resulted in who I am today.  My overwhelming feeling would be of relief/satisfaction knowing that my DW and kids should never have to worry about having their basic needs meet (of course the emotional part will now solely come from DW) but with some sadness that they will grow up without a father.

[Daisy]

Curious that no one's answer was to go to college, get a career, get married, have kids, buy a house, get a dog, golf, retire at 65, take a cruise, die.

Ohhh, good call, Spartana!
Two scenerios: Because that is what 'society' calls on us to do... Or we are already living that 'dream' and found it doesn't work for us.

I'd much rather be wanderlust.

That’s because we’ve got it good here in the US (and several other first world countries). To people living in other places, this may be their dream. That’s why they risk their lives to cross a dangerous border and pay exorbitant fees to smugglers, jump in rafts to cross shark-infested Caribbean waters, and stow themselves in shipping crates to bring themselves from Asia. Kind of crazy, isn’t it? We’ve got it so good here we don’t even realize it.

It reminds me of the story of the Mexican fisherman and the US businessman. You know the one I am talking about. We all seem to want what the other has. Someone struggling to get by in Mexico spending their days fishing may want to make it big in the US, and some of us in the US look at the Mexican guy fishing all day and want to live their life.

[lizzzi]

1.  Immediately stop wearing pants.
2.  Immediately retire, as I would be comfortable to do so.  (Also, plan to take out a large insurance policy in just under five years.)
3.  Well, you could waste your last few hours being pissed off at yourself and the world.  Or, you could fill the day doing things that you like and spending time with people you love.  I'd probably aim for the latter.

Just out of curiosity, what would you wear instead of pants? Would you wear a kilt?

[EngineerMum]

1) (What would you do if you are FI and money is no object)
Pfft, easy. Quit job, have a second child, travel a LOT, spend lots of time with friends and family, volunteer with Engineers Without Borders once LO is old enough to have moved out.

2) (What would you do if you know you have only 5 - 10 years to live)
Still assuming FI? As above, but with more focus on time with LO, and no second baby. If not, first sell house, then quit job, then as above, but with lots less travel and more cheap fun.

3) (How would you feel and what would you regret if you find out you have only 24 hours to live)
Mostly devastated that LO will be alone. Although of course she won't be because she has her dad, GPs, extended family etc.