how to decline a job I've already accepted?

[solon]

I accepted a job at Company A, but haven't started it yet. And now I got a better offer from Company B. I know, problems, problems...

How do I politely decline Company A, after signing the offer letter?

I like Company A, I've worked with them before and I want to leave the door open to come back there again sometime. And they like me. But Company B has a much better offer all the way around: salary, benefits, commute, type of work, chance to branch out a little and try new things.

Anyway, my question isn't which job should I take - I have already decided I want to work for Company B. My question is just, how do I politely decline Company A?

[jps]

I had a scenario like this come up in December, except rather than a Company A and Company B it was a Company A and Counteroffer situation.

I think it comes down to how you feel about the integrity of answer you want to give and how transparent you're willing to be. You could say something like "I accepted this offer in good faith, but since then another opportunity has opened up that I am not able to pass on, so I won't be joining your company as previously agreed". There may or may not be follow up/push back. I just got a "thanks, that's too bad but your professionalism has been appreciated". From what I've read, even when this is done politely as possible you are still essentially at their mercy for being able to work there again in the future, whether or not they put you on a list for doing this. That could be HR boogeyman tactics on the internet, but something to have in mind.
 
Is there an employment contract involved? I know with just signed offer letters there aren't really any legal ramifications but I know with contracting it can be trickier - that's outside of my experience to know about.

[The 585]

I had a scenario like this come up in December, except rather than a Company A and Company B it was a Company A and Counteroffer situation.

I think it comes down to how you feel about the integrity of answer you want to give and how transparent you're willing to be. You could say something like "I accepted this offer in good faith, but since then another opportunity has opened up that I am not able to pass on, so I won't be joining your company as previously agreed". There may or may not be follow up/push back. I just got a "thanks, that's too bad but your professionalism has been appreciated". From what I've read, even when this is done politely as possible you are still essentially at their mercy for being able to work there again in the future, whether or not they put you on a list for doing this. That could be HR boogeyman tactics on the internet, but something to have in mind.
 
Is there an employment contract involved? I know with just signed offer letters there aren't really any legal ramifications but I know with contracting it can be trickier - that's outside of my experience to know about.

This is good advice. Just be as honest and sincere as possible and apologize for the situation and any good employer will respect your decision.

I've been in your situation and done that twice, and both times the employers understood and encouraged me to keep in touch for future opportunities.

[lutorm]

I think in some jurisdictions (I just looked at what applied in Sweden, out of curiosity) a signed employment contract is binding and may only be broken by any of the parties under the same rules that would apply if you were already working there. Ie, if you have 30 day notice before ending your employment, and you're supposed to start your new job in 15 days, they legally could make you work there for 15 days. Now, it's probably in everyone's interest to not make you do that...

[mistymoney]

it's the without burning a bridge part that is the problem.

I wouldn't consider someone again afterwards, frankly. if it was a good place, they've already let the other candidates know.

We recently had someone decline after saying they were very excited about the position and thinking it over the weekend, decided to go another direction with their career.

Why would I include this person in a subsequent hiring round?

[gooki]

Tell your self it's just business and let company A know as soon as possible.

[jeninco]

it's the without burning a bridge part that is the problem.

I wouldn't consider someone again afterwards, frankly. if it was a good place, they've already let the other candidates know.

We recently had someone decline after saying they were very excited about the position and thinking it over the weekend, decided to go another direction with their career.

Why would I include this person in a subsequent hiring round?

I was discussing this with my kid, and apparently it's the thing now -- and it's so common that as long as the candidate is reasonably polite about it, no one is surprised or holds a grudge.

(I did make your point to him, and the answer wasn't quite "OK, Boomer", but ... kinda close.)

[MayDay]

If you let them know asap they'll appreciate it, but you may still burn the bridge.

We hired a. Ew manager and he told.ua the day before he was supposed to start that he changed his mind. And only because the director called him to talk about the first day. I guess he was going to just not show up.

At least if you tell them right away they may be able to salvage other candidates.

[mistymoney]

it's the without burning a bridge part that is the problem.

I wouldn't consider someone again afterwards, frankly. if it was a good place, they've already let the other candidates know.

We recently had someone decline after saying they were very excited about the position and thinking it over the weekend, decided to go another direction with their career.

Why would I include this person in a subsequent hiring round?

I was discussing this with my kid, and apparently it's the thing now -- and it's so common that as long as the candidate is reasonably polite about it, no one is surprised or holds a grudge.

(I did make your point to him, and the answer wasn't quite "OK, Boomer", but ... kinda close.)

I guess if you frame it as "holding a grudge", that does seem off and really old school/harsh/punishing, etc. but that isn't what I'm talking about. And I don't know how other positions and companies may work, but we were hiring for a senior and specialized position. it's a really hot job market and we ended up losing out on another candidate by pursuing this one, and it hasn't been the first time.

So while there may be some valid reasons as to why it didn't work this time for this person, but could in future, how am I suppose to screen for that before I spend my time and staff time on vetting them for a new opening and lose out on other potential candidates? And this person just took 3-4 days to think over the offer, they didn't sign it, just didn't get back to us until HR emailed when they missed the agreed upon timeline, and then they declined.

for more general, professional entry type position where a company may have many similar openings and a large pool of acceptable candidates, these considerations may not be as salient. but when you're looking for a needle in the haystack, there is a lot of time and effort put forth.

[jeninco]

it's the without burning a bridge part that is the problem.

I wouldn't consider someone again afterwards, frankly. if it was a good place, they've already let the other candidates know.

We recently had someone decline after saying they were very excited about the position and thinking it over the weekend, decided to go another direction with their career.

Why would I include this person in a subsequent hiring round?

I was discussing this with my kid, and apparently it's the thing now -- and it's so common that as long as the candidate is reasonably polite about it, no one is surprised or holds a grudge.

(I did make your point to him, and the answer wasn't quite "OK, Boomer", but ... kinda close.)

I guess if you frame it as "holding a grudge", that does seem off and really old school/harsh/punishing, etc. but that isn't what I'm talking about. And I don't know how other positions and companies may work, but we were hiring for a senior and specialized position. it's a really hot job market and we ended up losing out on another candidate by pursuing this one, and it hasn't been the first time.

So while there may be some valid reasons as to why it didn't work this time for this person, but could in future, how am I suppose to screen for that before I spend my time and staff time on vetting them for a new opening and lose out on other potential candidates? And this person just took 3-4 days to think over the offer, they didn't sign it, just didn't get back to us until HR emailed when they missed the agreed upon timeline, and then they declined.

for more general, professional entry type position where a company may have many similar openings and a large pool of acceptable candidates, these considerations may not be as salient. but when you're looking for a needle in the haystack, there is a lot of time and effort put forth.

I hear you, but ... what if what happened to the OP is what happened? They accepted a position with you and another company swoops in with an offer of 2X the salary, and 2X the vacation time? Seems like the best solution is for everyone to be upfront and polite, honestly.

[Mustache ride]

it's the without burning a bridge part that is the problem.

I wouldn't consider someone again afterwards, frankly. if it was a good place, they've already let the other candidates know.

We recently had someone decline after saying they were very excited about the position and thinking it over the weekend, decided to go another direction with their career.

Why would I include this person in a subsequent hiring round?

I was discussing this with my kid, and apparently it's the thing now -- and it's so common that as long as the candidate is reasonably polite about it, no one is surprised or holds a grudge.

(I did make your point to him, and the answer wasn't quite "OK, Boomer", but ... kinda close.)

I guess if you frame it as "holding a grudge", that does seem off and really old school/harsh/punishing, etc. but that isn't what I'm talking about. And I don't know how other positions and companies may work, but we were hiring for a senior and specialized position. it's a really hot job market and we ended up losing out on another candidate by pursuing this one, and it hasn't been the first time.

So while there may be some valid reasons as to why it didn't work this time for this person, but could in future, how am I suppose to screen for that before I spend my time and staff time on vetting them for a new opening and lose out on other potential candidates? And this person just took 3-4 days to think over the offer, they didn't sign it, just didn't get back to us until HR emailed when they missed the agreed upon timeline, and then they declined.

for more general, professional entry type position where a company may have many similar openings and a large pool of acceptable candidates, these considerations may not be as salient. but when you're looking for a needle in the haystack, there is a lot of time and effort put forth.

I kind of see where you are coming from, but as a fellow hiring manager I completely disagree. When filling senior and/or specialized positions, it's even more important not to narrow down your candidate pool even further. You are worried about spending time on a candidate again because they didn't take your offer the first time? As you said, it's a hot market right now with good talent being hard to find. It seems like you may be letting your emotions get the best of you.

In my industry, top performers have their pick of where they want to go and end up with multiple offers to choose from. Writing good candidates off and not considering them for future opportunities because they made a decision that was best for them at the time seems silly, and is a good way to end up with subpar talent. I don't know about you, but I want people on my team that are great performers and constantly looking to improve their skills, not ones that are thankful I extended them an offer and are okay with staying in that position for the rest of their career.

It hurts to lose out on other qualified candidates when trying to land your #1 choice. It's not personal though, and should be written off to the cost of doing business.

[Gronnie]

it's the without burning a bridge part that is the problem.

I wouldn't consider someone again afterwards, frankly. if it was a good place, they've already let the other candidates know.

We recently had someone decline after saying they were very excited about the position and thinking it over the weekend, decided to go another direction with their career.

Why would I include this person in a subsequent hiring round?

I was discussing this with my kid, and apparently it's the thing now -- and it's so common that as long as the candidate is reasonably polite about it, no one is surprised or holds a grudge.

(I did make your point to him, and the answer wasn't quite "OK, Boomer", but ... kinda close.)

I guess if you frame it as "holding a grudge", that does seem off and really old school/harsh/punishing, etc. but that isn't what I'm talking about. And I don't know how other positions and companies may work, but we were hiring for a senior and specialized position. it's a really hot job market and we ended up losing out on another candidate by pursuing this one, and it hasn't been the first time.

So while there may be some valid reasons as to why it didn't work this time for this person, but could in future, how am I suppose to screen for that before I spend my time and staff time on vetting them for a new opening and lose out on other potential candidates? And this person just took 3-4 days to think over the offer, they didn't sign it, just didn't get back to us until HR emailed when they missed the agreed upon timeline, and then they declined.

for more general, professional entry type position where a company may have many similar openings and a large pool of acceptable candidates, these considerations may not be as salient. but when you're looking for a needle in the haystack, there is a lot of time and effort put forth.

Employers ghost like this all the time.

[mistymoney]

it's the without burning a bridge part that is the problem.

I wouldn't consider someone again afterwards, frankly. if it was a good place, they've already let the other candidates know.

We recently had someone decline after saying they were very excited about the position and thinking it over the weekend, decided to go another direction with their career.

Why would I include this person in a subsequent hiring round?

I was discussing this with my kid, and apparently it's the thing now -- and it's so common that as long as the candidate is reasonably polite about it, no one is surprised or holds a grudge.

(I did make your point to him, and the answer wasn't quite "OK, Boomer", but ... kinda close.)

I guess if you frame it as "holding a grudge", that does seem off and really old school/harsh/punishing, etc. but that isn't what I'm talking about. And I don't know how other positions and companies may work, but we were hiring for a senior and specialized position. it's a really hot job market and we ended up losing out on another candidate by pursuing this one, and it hasn't been the first time.

So while there may be some valid reasons as to why it didn't work this time for this person, but could in future, how am I suppose to screen for that before I spend my time and staff time on vetting them for a new opening and lose out on other potential candidates? And this person just took 3-4 days to think over the offer, they didn't sign it, just didn't get back to us until HR emailed when they missed the agreed upon timeline, and then they declined.

for more general, professional entry type position where a company may have many similar openings and a large pool of acceptable candidates, these considerations may not be as salient. but when you're looking for a needle in the haystack, there is a lot of time and effort put forth.

I hear you, but ... what if what happened to the OP is what happened? They accepted a position with you and another company swoops in with an offer of 2X the salary, and 2X the vacation time? Seems like the best solution is for everyone to be upfront and polite, honestly.

of course! and I would wish them well. but then their resume shows up again a year later and ...... I just don't have that kind of time to figure out what is up with someone who already turned down the best package I had for them. I only pursue people who I think I want to hire and who I think want to work for us.

Now if I moved to a different company, and they applied for a different job at that company, then of course that is a new situation and I would consider them as everything is changed.

[mistymoney]

it's the without burning a bridge part that is the problem.

I wouldn't consider someone again afterwards, frankly. if it was a good place, they've already let the other candidates know.

We recently had someone decline after saying they were very excited about the position and thinking it over the weekend, decided to go another direction with their career.

Why would I include this person in a subsequent hiring round?

I was discussing this with my kid, and apparently it's the thing now -- and it's so common that as long as the candidate is reasonably polite about it, no one is surprised or holds a grudge.

(I did make your point to him, and the answer wasn't quite "OK, Boomer", but ... kinda close.)

I guess if you frame it as "holding a grudge", that does seem off and really old school/harsh/punishing, etc. but that isn't what I'm talking about. And I don't know how other positions and companies may work, but we were hiring for a senior and specialized position. it's a really hot job market and we ended up losing out on another candidate by pursuing this one, and it hasn't been the first time.

So while there may be some valid reasons as to why it didn't work this time for this person, but could in future, how am I suppose to screen for that before I spend my time and staff time on vetting them for a new opening and lose out on other potential candidates? And this person just took 3-4 days to think over the offer, they didn't sign it, just didn't get back to us until HR emailed when they missed the agreed upon timeline, and then they declined.

for more general, professional entry type position where a company may have many similar openings and a large pool of acceptable candidates, these considerations may not be as salient. but when you're looking for a needle in the haystack, there is a lot of time and effort put forth.

Employers ghost like this all the time.

After interviews, not after an offer.

[mistymoney]

it's the without burning a bridge part that is the problem.

I wouldn't consider someone again afterwards, frankly. if it was a good place, they've already let the other candidates know.

We recently had someone decline after saying they were very excited about the position and thinking it over the weekend, decided to go another direction with their career.

Why would I include this person in a subsequent hiring round?

I was discussing this with my kid, and apparently it's the thing now -- and it's so common that as long as the candidate is reasonably polite about it, no one is surprised or holds a grudge.

(I did make your point to him, and the answer wasn't quite "OK, Boomer", but ... kinda close.)

I guess if you frame it as "holding a grudge", that does seem off and really old school/harsh/punishing, etc. but that isn't what I'm talking about. And I don't know how other positions and companies may work, but we were hiring for a senior and specialized position. it's a really hot job market and we ended up losing out on another candidate by pursuing this one, and it hasn't been the first time.

So while there may be some valid reasons as to why it didn't work this time for this person, but could in future, how am I suppose to screen for that before I spend my time and staff time on vetting them for a new opening and lose out on other potential candidates? And this person just took 3-4 days to think over the offer, they didn't sign it, just didn't get back to us until HR emailed when they missed the agreed upon timeline, and then they declined.

for more general, professional entry type position where a company may have many similar openings and a large pool of acceptable candidates, these considerations may not be as salient. but when you're looking for a needle in the haystack, there is a lot of time and effort put forth.

I kind of see where you are coming from, but as a fellow hiring manager I completely disagree. When filling senior and/or specialized positions, it's even more important not to narrow down your candidate pool even further. You are worried about spending time on a candidate again because they didn't take your offer the first time? As you said, it's a hot market right now with good talent being hard to find. It seems like you may be letting your emotions get the best of you.

In my industry, top performers have their pick of where they want to go and end up with multiple offers to choose from. Writing good candidates off and not considering them for future opportunities because they made a decision that was best for them at the time seems silly, and is a good way to end up with subpar talent. I don't know about you, but I want people on my team that are great performers and constantly looking to improve their skills, not ones that are thankful I extended them an offer and are okay with staying in that position for the rest of their career.

It hurts to lose out on other qualified candidates when trying to land your #1 choice. It's not personal though, and should be written off to the cost of doing business.

it certainly is, but if they are choosing another job after I make the best offer I can......or rather, that HR will let me, I'm not sure why they would come back, or what would change.

so if someone gets 2x salary and 2x vacation, I can't match that so I wish them well and move on. But why would they come back to half pay and half vacation? I'm just not seeing how it works.

so why is someone coming back to something that didn't meet their needs previous? What would be a reason for that change that would be good for me and my team? And how would I even know about it?

I'm not trying to punitive here at all, just logical. I can't see that anyone would come back if they got such a huge salary boost and nice vacation allowance. Maybe I would ask where they are going and try to follow?

[bmjohnson35]

I had a scenario like this come up in December, except rather than a Company A and Company B it was a Company A and Counteroffer situation.

I think it comes down to how you feel about the integrity of answer you want to give and how transparent you're willing to be. You could say something like "I accepted this offer in good faith, but since then another opportunity has opened up that I am not able to pass on, so I won't be joining your company as previously agreed". There may or may not be follow up/push back. I just got a "thanks, that's too bad but your professionalism has been appreciated". From what I've read, even when this is done politely as possible you are still essentially at their mercy for being able to work there again in the future, whether or not they put you on a list for doing this. That could be HR boogeyman tactics on the internet, but something to have in mind.
 
Is there an employment contract involved? I know with just signed offer letters there aren't really any legal ramifications but I know with contracting it can be trickier - that's outside of my experience to know about.

I agree with JPS.  Some version of your description: "Company B has a much better offer all the way around: salary, benefits, commute, type of work, chance to branch out a little and try new things." feels appropriate to me.

There is no guarantee they won't have hard feelings and blackball you from future hiring, but if they do, would you want to work for them anyway?  It's not like you're quitting a few weeks into employment. 

[SKL-HOU]

it's the without burning a bridge part that is the problem.

I wouldn't consider someone again afterwards, frankly. if it was a good place, they've already let the other candidates know.

We recently had someone decline after saying they were very excited about the position and thinking it over the weekend, decided to go another direction with their career.

Why would I include this person in a subsequent hiring round?

I was discussing this with my kid, and apparently it's the thing now -- and it's so common that as long as the candidate is reasonably polite about it, no one is surprised or holds a grudge.

(I did make your point to him, and the answer wasn't quite "OK, Boomer", but ... kinda close.)

I guess if you frame it as "holding a grudge", that does seem off and really old school/harsh/punishing, etc. but that isn't what I'm talking about. And I don't know how other positions and companies may work, but we were hiring for a senior and specialized position. it's a really hot job market and we ended up losing out on another candidate by pursuing this one, and it hasn't been the first time.

So while there may be some valid reasons as to why it didn't work this time for this person, but could in future, how am I suppose to screen for that before I spend my time and staff time on vetting them for a new opening and lose out on other potential candidates? And this person just took 3-4 days to think over the offer, they didn't sign it, just didn't get back to us until HR emailed when they missed the agreed upon timeline, and then they declined.

for more general, professional entry type position where a company may have many similar openings and a large pool of acceptable candidates, these considerations may not be as salient. but when you're looking for a needle in the haystack, there is a lot of time and effort put forth.

I kind of see where you are coming from, but as a fellow hiring manager I completely disagree. When filling senior and/or specialized positions, it's even more important not to narrow down your candidate pool even further. You are worried about spending time on a candidate again because they didn't take your offer the first time? As you said, it's a hot market right now with good talent being hard to find. It seems like you may be letting your emotions get the best of you.

In my industry, top performers have their pick of where they want to go and end up with multiple offers to choose from. Writing good candidates off and not considering them for future opportunities because they made a decision that was best for them at the time seems silly, and is a good way to end up with subpar talent. I don't know about you, but I want people on my team that are great performers and constantly looking to improve their skills, not ones that are thankful I extended them an offer and are okay with staying in that position for the rest of their career.

It hurts to lose out on other qualified candidates when trying to land your #1 choice. It's not personal though, and should be written off to the cost of doing business.

it certainly is, but if they are choosing another job after I make the best offer I can......or rather, that HR will let me, I'm not sure why they would come back, or what would change.

so if someone gets 2x salary and 2x vacation, I can't match that so I wish them well and move on. But why would they come back to half pay and half vacation? I'm just not seeing how it works.

so why is someone coming back to something that didn't meet their needs previous? What would be a reason for that change that would be good for me and my team? And how would I even know about it?

I'm not trying to punitive here at all, just logical. I can't see that anyone would come back if they got such a huge salary boost and nice vacation allowance. Maybe I would ask where they are going and try to follow?

It is not always as distinct as 2x salary etc. I interviewed with 2 places and got 2 offers. I picked the one that I thought would be better for me (was a bit less money). They were both great companies but I had to pick one. But for personal reasons i ended up leaving that place after 2 months and went back to my previous employer. Then I reached out to the company I had turned down to see if they were still interested and they were! I’ve been there for 3 years now. I am thankful they weren’t petty or held a grudge like you. You don’t sound like a very good manager.

[mistymoney]

it's the without burning a bridge part that is the problem.

I wouldn't consider someone again afterwards, frankly. if it was a good place, they've already let the other candidates know.

We recently had someone decline after saying they were very excited about the position and thinking it over the weekend, decided to go another direction with their career.

Why would I include this person in a subsequent hiring round?

I was discussing this with my kid, and apparently it's the thing now -- and it's so common that as long as the candidate is reasonably polite about it, no one is surprised or holds a grudge.

(I did make your point to him, and the answer wasn't quite "OK, Boomer", but ... kinda close.)

I guess if you frame it as "holding a grudge", that does seem off and really old school/harsh/punishing, etc. but that isn't what I'm talking about. And I don't know how other positions and companies may work, but we were hiring for a senior and specialized position. it's a really hot job market and we ended up losing out on another candidate by pursuing this one, and it hasn't been the first time.

So while there may be some valid reasons as to why it didn't work this time for this person, but could in future, how am I suppose to screen for that before I spend my time and staff time on vetting them for a new opening and lose out on other potential candidates? And this person just took 3-4 days to think over the offer, they didn't sign it, just didn't get back to us until HR emailed when they missed the agreed upon timeline, and then they declined.

for more general, professional entry type position where a company may have many similar openings and a large pool of acceptable candidates, these considerations may not be as salient. but when you're looking for a needle in the haystack, there is a lot of time and effort put forth.

I kind of see where you are coming from, but as a fellow hiring manager I completely disagree. When filling senior and/or specialized positions, it's even more important not to narrow down your candidate pool even further. You are worried about spending time on a candidate again because they didn't take your offer the first time? As you said, it's a hot market right now with good talent being hard to find. It seems like you may be letting your emotions get the best of you.

In my industry, top performers have their pick of where they want to go and end up with multiple offers to choose from. Writing good candidates off and not considering them for future opportunities because they made a decision that was best for them at the time seems silly, and is a good way to end up with subpar talent. I don't know about you, but I want people on my team that are great performers and constantly looking to improve their skills, not ones that are thankful I extended them an offer and are okay with staying in that position for the rest of their career.

It hurts to lose out on other qualified candidates when trying to land your #1 choice. It's not personal though, and should be written off to the cost of doing business.

it certainly is, but if they are choosing another job after I make the best offer I can......or rather, that HR will let me, I'm not sure why they would come back, or what would change.

so if someone gets 2x salary and 2x vacation, I can't match that so I wish them well and move on. But why would they come back to half pay and half vacation? I'm just not seeing how it works.

so why is someone coming back to something that didn't meet their needs previous? What would be a reason for that change that would be good for me and my team? And how would I even know about it?

I'm not trying to punitive here at all, just logical. I can't see that anyone would come back if they got such a huge salary boost and nice vacation allowance. Maybe I would ask where they are going and try to follow?

It is not always as distinct as 2x salary etc. I interviewed with 2 places and got 2 offers. I picked the one that I thought would be better for me (was a bit less money). They were both great companies but I had to pick one. But for personal reasons i ended up leaving that place after 2 months and went back to my previous employer. Then I reached out to the company I had turned down to see if they were still interested and they were! I’ve been there for 3 years now. I am thankful they weren’t petty or held a grudge like you. You don’t sound like a very good manager.

wow, I was actually reading your post with some interest and had some nice and interesting comments formulating, then got to end of it. You don't sound like a very nice person.

[lutorm]

Stuff happens so if you explain what happened, I can't imagine they would be anything more than disappointed.

Now, if you don't tell them, that's different. I would never hire someone who'd shown such lack of professionalism and curtesy. If they blow off a commitment like that, I would have to assume that's how they would perform at work, too.

[gooki]

so if someone gets 2x salary and 2x vacation, I can't match that so I wish them well and move on. But why would they come back to half pay and half vacation? I'm just not seeing how it works.

The assumption is your company has moved with the market and is offering better packages now. Often candidates have no f'ing clue what the salary is for a role prior to applying. So either be upfront with salaries and include it in the position description so potential applicants know before they apply, or expect to get repeat applicants from those that have turned you down in the past.

A good example from my personal life is I applied for an internal promotion, got offered $70k, turned it down and left to work somewhere else. 12 months later my previous employer advertise again, I apply, this time they offer $100k.

If I hadn't applied I would have no idea they'd increased their salary range.

[exterous]

so if someone gets 2x salary and 2x vacation, I can't match that so I wish them well and move on. But why would they come back to half pay and half vacation? I'm just not seeing how it works.

The assumption is your company has moved with the market and is offering better packages now. Often candidates have no f'ing clue what the salary is for a role prior to applying. So either be upfront with salaries and include it in the position description so potential applicants know before they apply, or expect to get repeat applicants from those that have turned you down in the past.

A good example from my personal life is I applied for an internal promotion, got offered $70k, turned it down and left to work somewhere else. 12 months later my previous employer advertise again, I apply, this time they offer $100k.

If I hadn't applied I would have no idea they'd increased their salary range.

This is why I always put a narrow salary range in my postings. (None of that $50k-100k depending on experience nonsense) and link to benefit information. Saves everyone a lot of time. For the applicants that pay attention anyway

[SailingOnASmallSailboat]

To me the key here is that OP had already accepted the position that he's now not interested in. That's pretty different than getting 2 job offers and deciding between the two of them. I can totally see a manager not wanting to consider someone who did that to them; if I were in that position, I'd likely mentally write off ever being able to work for company A in the future.

Lots of points in this thread about companies ghosting applicants (which I think is the crappiest way to treat people and completely disrespectful in so many ways) - any managers out there should take those complaints to heart.

Good luck, OP. I hope the new job is all you want it to be!

[exterous]

To me the key here is that OP had already accepted the position that he's now not interested in. That's pretty different than getting 2 job offers and deciding between the two of them. I can totally see a manager not wanting to consider someone who did that to them; if I were in that position, I'd likely mentally write off ever being able to work for company A in the future.

Lots of points in this thread about companies ghosting applicants (which I think is the crappiest way to treat people and completely disrespectful in so many ways) - any managers out there should take those complaints to heart.

Good luck, OP. I hope the new job is all you want it to be!

Veering slightly OT, while an extremely valid point, its not always up to the Manager regarding outreach to non-selected candidates. I worked for a place where I was only supposed to reach out to people who made it beyond the phone interview. HR and the HR system would take care of the generic "Thanks for applying but..." message for everyone else. Not only did it require HR to be timely on ticking the right boxes for that to happen (They were not) it required the system to be properly configured to send emails (At least once it wasn't) and the generic mass emails to not be marked as spam (At least a couple times they were). Not defending any of that (And I make it a point to reach out to everyone I speak to) just a peak behind the curtains. That system was supposed to make sure everyone always got an outreach so it was done with noble intentions but we know execution and attentiveness let down some of our applicants

[clarkfan1979]

To me the key here is that OP had already accepted the position that he's now not interested in. That's pretty different than getting 2 job offers and deciding between the two of them. I can totally see a manager not wanting to consider someone who did that to them; if I were in that position, I'd likely mentally write off ever being able to work for company A in the future.

Lots of points in this thread about companies ghosting applicants (which I think is the crappiest way to treat people and completely disrespectful in so many ways) - any managers out there should take those complaints to heart.

Good luck, OP. I hope the new job is all you want it to be!

I agree that accepting a job and then declining is much different than simply getting an offer and declining it. I don't think any reasonable employer would hold a grudge because someone declined an offer.

I work in academia and we hire once a year for faculty positions. When I was at a previous institution a professor verbally accepted but wouldn't sign the paperwork. They stalled as much as they could for about one month. In the end they didn't sign. The search failed and we had to do it again the following year. They still ended up on the no hire list. If they apply for a position in the future their name won't make it past HR. The hiring committee would never know that they applied.

I flew from Colorado to Washington D.C. for a job interview in November 2010 and the salary range was not posted. The job was MA required but Ph.D. preferred. They offered me 65K and I rejected it. They were upset. I kept it professional, but I felt like I had more reason to be upset. In my opinion, the offer was very low for D.C. If that's all you can offer, that's fine, but you should probably put the salary range in the ad, so you don't waste everyone's time. Five years later a head hunter called me and basically offered me the job again at 120K and said I could negotiate it up to 125K.

I applied for an academic job with very wide salary range. They called me for an interview and I accepted (2-3 weeks in the future). I then contacted HR for additional salary information. The salary was too low for my liking so I cancelled the interview about 2-3 days after I accepted it.

It seems like every industry is different. I'm not sure if my advice is good or not, so take it for what it's worth. This is how I would frame it. When I signed my letter of employment, I accepted it in good faith and was fully committed to leaving my current employer. I notified my current employer that I would be leaving in "x amount of time" However, a few days later, I received another offer and I'm going to accept it. I apologize for any inconvenience and I thank you for the opportunity. 

[Rdy2Fire]

Some interesting answers here for sure.

I've been in this situation and for me it was very simple, I explained to Company A that I had, obviously, been looking for a new opportunity when I interviewed and even accepted their position. Company B came in, late to the game, after accepting the position, I've given this some serious consideration and feel, at the time it's a better fit for me and my career.

It really is that simple, forget about grudges, etc. You know how many people leave companies (sometimes not on great terms) and go back later on for bigger, better positions; TONS!!

When you seek new employment and interview with people/companies, it's a two way street; both parties have to believe it's going to be the best fit or it just won't work in the long term. If you feel you Company B is the better choice for you then, this is your career, so just move forward with Company B.

[NorthernIkigai]

You know how many people leave companies (sometimes not on great terms) and go back later on for bigger, better positions; TONS!!

That’s not really a comparable situation, though. If someone’s worked somewhere, the company already knows how good they are at the actual job (even if they then left not on great terms). If they then want to come back, it’s easy to know whether you want them back and also whether the reason that made them leave is still there.

In contrast, if it’s just an applicant who was chosen, accepted, and then turned around and changed their mind, that’s a huge part of the little you know about them.

[Gronnie]

To everyone that thinks the OP would be doing anything wrong or unethical by taking the better offer after accepting the first one -- just remember that first job wouldn't hesitate to fire him at the drop of a hat if it was in their best interest.

[MayDay]

To everyone that thinks the OP would be doing anything wrong or unethical by taking the better offer after accepting the first one -- just remember that first job wouldn't hesitate to fire him at the drop of a hat if it was in their best interest.

Is anyone saying he's doing something wrong or unethical?

I don't think it's wrong or unethical, I just think he probably isn't going to get hired at that company in the future*.

*Or actually in a large company it might not matter because the left hand doesn't talk to the right hand.

[NorthernIkigai]

To everyone that thinks the OP would be doing anything wrong or unethical by taking the better offer after accepting the first one -- just remember that first job wouldn't hesitate to fire him at the drop of a hat if it was in their best interest.

Is anyone saying he's doing something wrong or unethical?

I don't think it's wrong or unethical, I just think he probably isn't going to get hired at that company in the future*.

*Or actually in a large company it might not matter because the left hand doesn't talk to the right hand.

^ Yup, this exactly. OP should of course decide what’s best for him. But the company wouldn’t be irrational or “holding a grudge” if they therefore decided not to hire him in the future.

[mistymoney]

To everyone that thinks the OP would be doing anything wrong or unethical by taking the better offer after accepting the first one -- just remember that first job wouldn't hesitate to fire him at the drop of a hat if it was in their best interest.

I don't think anyone has said that?

it's the burning the bridge part that is under debate.

[Villanelle]

To everyone that thinks the OP would be doing anything wrong or unethical by taking the better offer after accepting the first one -- just remember that first job wouldn't hesitate to fire him at the drop of a hat if it was in their best interest.

OP specifically said he wanted to leave the door open with the first company.  People are responding to that, an to whether it is possible or probable.  No one is saying OP is unethical, or that he shouldn't take the new offer.  But he needs to let go of ensuring that the door to company 1 remains open.  He should send a polite letter, hope for the best, and let it go because it is not something he can control, and he should be aware that no matter how pretty the letter, the bridge *may* (or may not) be burned. . 

[Wolfpack Mustachian]

Like in most things,  there is a balance and a risk reward spectrum. Is there a risk they a company would be less likely to offer you a job again if you say you're going to accept their offer and then say you're not. Of course there is. It's less likely imo if you're up front about it,  polite, and as quick as possible but there's a chance, and no matter how you handle it,  it'll be there. I'd just say, do it as quick as possible, and I'd give a generic reason of a better fit or the like,  but if you want to let them know a specific thing was better,  nothing wrong with that at all. I just really wouldn't delay.

[mistymoney]

Been negoatiating with one of our candidates, and I've been on tenterhooks about losing the second choice while we waited for first choice to accept.

They signed the offer letter and start in 3 weeks.

but this thread keeps haunting me, lol! I needed to follow up with our second choice and wish them well, but this thread kept haunting me and I kept procrastinating, worried the first choice was not really a done deal.

[solon]

Been negoatiating with one of our candidates, and I've been on tenterhooks about losing the second choice while we waited for first choice to accept.

They signed the offer letter and start in 3 weeks.

but this thread keeps haunting me, lol! I needed to follow up with our second choice and wish them well, but this thread kept haunting me and I kept procrastinating, worried the first choice was not really a done deal.

I've thought a bit about this problem.

If you need to hire a person, why not hire three? If you hire three, you know one will be a perfect fit for the job, one will realize almost immediately that this isn't the job for them and leave on their own, and one won't be a perfect fit but won't realize it, so you coach them out. The problem is you don't know which is which before hiring. If you go through these three one-at-a-time it will take a long time to get the right hire, and you might lose them in the process. So hire them all!

[Chris Pascale]

Has a decision been made? How did it work out?

[solon]

It went smooth as butter. I googled the question in the title and found some really good templates. I sent that in today and the hiring manager said "Ok, thanks for letting us know".

So, whatever amount of worrying you do about this topic - it's too much.

[mistymoney]

Been negoatiating with one of our candidates, and I've been on tenterhooks about losing the second choice while we waited for first choice to accept.

They signed the offer letter and start in 3 weeks.

but this thread keeps haunting me, lol! I needed to follow up with our second choice and wish them well, but this thread kept haunting me and I kept procrastinating, worried the first choice was not really a done deal.

I've thought a bit about this problem.

If you need to hire a person, why not hire three? If you hire three, you know one will be a perfect fit for the job, one will realize almost immediately that this isn't the job for them and leave on their own, and one won't be a perfect fit but won't realize it, so you coach them out. The problem is you don't know which is which before hiring. If you go through these three one-at-a-time it will take a long time to get the right hire, and you might lose them in the process. So hire them all!

I'd love to, I think? Maybe 2?, but we have a lot of budgetary pressures, lucky they let me hire one, lol!

and training and  overseeing staff is not without cost, most my own personal cost.....

[NorthernIkigai]

It went smooth as butter. I googled the question in the title and found some really good templates. I sent that in today and the hiring manager said "Ok, thanks for letting us know".

So, whatever amount of worrying you do about this topic - it's too much.

But the original question included the "I want to leave the door open to come back there again sometime". Won't the correct amount of worrying only be known when/if you one day want to go back there?

I think most or everyone agreed on the polite refusal and polite acknowledgement of that refusal not being a problem here.

[solon]

It went smooth as butter. I googled the question in the title and found some really good templates. I sent that in today and the hiring manager said "Ok, thanks for letting us know".

So, whatever amount of worrying you do about this topic - it's too much.

But the original question included the "I want to leave the door open to come back there again sometime". Won't the correct amount of worrying only be known when/if you one day want to go back there?

I think most or everyone agreed on the polite refusal and polite acknowledgement of that refusal not being a problem here.

Yeah, I suppose that's true. I won't know how it all turns out until I try to work for them again sometime, and there are no plans for that at the moment.

[Dicey]

Thanks for closing the loop. I hope the new job's a good fit.

[mistymoney]

Thanks for closing the loop. I hope the new job's a good fit.

Ditto!

[NorthernIkigai]

It went smooth as butter. I googled the question in the title and found some really good templates. I sent that in today and the hiring manager said "Ok, thanks for letting us know".

So, whatever amount of worrying you do about this topic - it's too much.

But the original question included the "I want to leave the door open to come back there again sometime". Won't the correct amount of worrying only be known when/if you one day want to go back there?

I think most or everyone agreed on the polite refusal and polite acknowledgement of that refusal not being a problem here.

Yeah, I suppose that's true. I won't know how it all turns out until I try to work for them again sometime, and there are no plans for that at the moment.

Then the correct amount is no worrying whatsoever! :-) Enjoy the job you chose.