I never did get my SO (now XDH) on board, he is still working at 64. From what I have seen here on the forums, what works for some is to get alignment on goals, and then everyone is on board. Other considerations to discuss with her (not tell her, it has to be a dialogue) - having the FI is wonderful even if RE doesn't happen, because you have options. What if work becomes unbearable? What if one of you is laid off and has trouble finding a new job? What if one of you is too sick to work?
And of course, some jobs are not the kind that people are dying to retire from, they are just too engaging. I don't regret working until 63, I could have retired at 60 but I was having too much fun. Still, it is nice to have options.
Remember, this blog and forum isn't really about being frugal, it is about examining your life to see what is worth spending on, and what is not - and once you look at all the conventional spending assumptions out there, you find a lot of it is not really necessary for happiness. If you are talking "frugal" as opposed to "let's optimize our lives" then you are less likely to get buy-in. And remember, people who declutter also find that the item they couldn't live without on the first round is gone on the third round. So what seems an essential expense now may be easier to drop down the road. On the other hand, your wife may be feeling many of the costs and few of the benefits of your frugality - you really need to slow down and discuss things with her. For a couple it can't just be one person, both have to be on board.
I am sure others will have lots of advice ;-) Good luck.