Author Topic: How to be mustachian with a picky eater  (Read 4785 times)

shanesauce

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How to be mustachian with a picky eater
« on: September 25, 2015, 10:59:55 AM »
In a perfect world I could buy cheap staple foods and spices and make wonderful delicious dishes.

My spouse is a very picky eater, we are talking like a 5 year old picky. I guess this isn't a huge issue but how can I optimize lunch/dinners with lots of beans and rice and soups when my wife doesn't like beans, vegetables or any kind of soup? Is there some kind of step process that picky eaters can use to overcome their habit? 

GizmoTX

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Re: How to be mustachian with a picky eater
« Reply #1 on: September 25, 2015, 11:13:59 AM »
What does your wife eat? Home cooked food or restaurant/takeout/packaged to reheat? What did she grow up with?

realityinabox

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Re: How to be mustachian with a picky eater
« Reply #2 on: September 25, 2015, 11:21:28 AM »
Tell your wife to stop acting like a 5 year old?

zephyr911

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Re: How to be mustachian with a picky eater
« Reply #3 on: September 25, 2015, 11:30:07 AM »
In a perfect world I could buy cheap staple foods and spices and make wonderful delicious dishes.

My spouse is a very picky eater, we are talking like a 5 year old picky. I guess this isn't a huge issue but how can I optimize lunch/dinners with lots of beans and rice and soups when my wife doesn't like beans, vegetables or any kind of soup? Is there some kind of step process that picky eaters can use to overcome their habit?
OH MY GOD, HOW ARE WE BOTH MARRIED TO THE SAME WOMAN?

Mine could live on prepackaged frozen dinners (and once did). She hates beans and most of the greens I love. Don't even put her in the same room with broccoli (*sniff*).

I'll tell you what I've done so far: constant experimentation. I have her eating things she didn't think she liked. Ignore any fear of failure, and keep trying new stuff to find those gems. I've managed to sort out a "like" list that lets me feed her veggie stir-fry on a regular basis. I also get good mileage out of sauteed zucchini with sweet onions - ONLY if it's well-done, not too salty or spicy, SOUND FAMILIAR? :D

Tell your wife to stop acting like a 5 year old?
That'll go over like a fart in church. Have you ever been married?

realityinabox

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Re: How to be mustachian with a picky eater
« Reply #4 on: September 25, 2015, 11:32:30 AM »

Tell your wife to stop acting like a 5 year old?
That'll go over like a fart in church. Have you ever been married?

Yes, but never to a child.

MayDay

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Re: How to be mustachian with a picky eater
« Reply #5 on: September 25, 2015, 11:43:40 AM »
Are the things she eats cheap?

If so, let her eat them and make yourself proper food. 

runnerbee17

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Re: How to be mustachian with a picky eater
« Reply #6 on: September 25, 2015, 11:44:19 AM »
As a recovering picky eater myself, start with things she will eat and make gradual modifications toward a cheaper/more compatible diet. Go from burgers to part meat/part bean burgers, slowly increasing the percentage of beans for example.

I'm not big on soup either, but casseroles are a good place to start moving that direction. If she's okay with spices, both heat and flavor, Indian food has really helped me. The whole dish tastes like a bowl of delicious due to the flavors, so I'm less worried about whatever veggies are in there because I can't taste them. Bonus, chickpeas are almost flavorless and incredibly versatile. Good place to start introducing beans!

Cook together, make a more vegetable-y version for yourself and encourage her to try it at intervals. Before I started eating like a normal human being, we'd often make our casserole in two smaller dishes rather than one bigger one and he'd add more veggies to his. Not much effort to make it two ways that way. I learned that way that I love spinach when it's cooked and not in one giant clump. See if it's a texture thing like that and not flavor, and maybe you'll find a way to get veggies in there with some unobtrusive changes. For me, it was slicing up the spinach and mixing it with the cheese instead of having whole leaves piled on top.

And of course she has to be on board for changing her eating habits or it'll just be a battle that'll wear you both out and no one will win. And it'll take years to get to eating the same way even with steady progress, so patience is key. I'm five years into trying to eat more relaxed, and while you still won't catch me dead with a salad, we don't cook separate things for dinner any more, so there is hope.

zephyr911

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Re: How to be mustachian with a picky eater
« Reply #7 on: September 25, 2015, 11:48:09 AM »
Yes, but never to a child.
I should hope not. We have standards around here.

Pickiness bothers me as much as any normal, open-minded eater, but don't you think it's disingenuous to assume this particular person (whom you've never met and know virtually nothing about) is picky because of immaturity?

There's actual genetics behind at least some differences in taste.

MRae99

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Re: How to be mustachian with a picky eater
« Reply #8 on: September 25, 2015, 11:53:24 AM »
My husband is pretty darn picky, though I have helped to improve some of that. He still will not do beans (even when I made a delicious chili full of meat, which he loves-- he wouldn't even try it because of the beans!). And he doesn't particularly like most veggies, but I can get him to eat them. A big thing for us was finding a dressing he liked for salads. Now, I can send him with a salad with lunch and he will eat the whole thing! As long as he has his honey mustard or poppy seed dressing (doesn't like vinegar based dressings). Also, he loves carrots and snap peas, so those are pretty much always in our house. I also will often just make sure I chop veggies really small when putting them in something (like with fried rice-- as long as they are chopped small enough, he will eat it because he doesn't notice them as much).
Overall, you kind of just have to keep trying things. I always try to make sure that, when I am trying something new with him, there is something along with it that I know he loves. So at least I know he will eat something even if the new things isn't his favorite.

GizmoTX

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Re: How to be mustachian with a picky eater
« Reply #9 on: September 25, 2015, 12:23:54 PM »
There's actual genetics behind at least some differences in taste.
It's also learned behavior.

When we were first married (46 years ago), I asked DH what he would eat on a daily basis. I was shocked -- it was a very short list, i.e. meat, plain vegetables, nothing exotic except for some ethnic Polish dishes (which I had no idea how to make). I grew up with much the same, only much cheaper & even blander -- my mom's idea of spice was a bay leaf. Fortunately I was active in 4-H & had some foods courses in college, so I had acquired some skills & experience. DH liked "Italian" food, so I started there, & added one or two experiments a week. I think the key is to learn how to cook for flavor, not just for cheap. Because we were both working, we started cooking together to cut the time & spread the effort, with DH starting with prep. He became more & more interested in the process, & more willing to taste. He is now the grillmaster & smokemeister in our house, still loving meat, but will now try anything because he trusts our cooking knowledge.

Several years ago I discovered pressure cooking, & it has dramatically upped the flavor & cut the cooking time -- very mustachian!

ooeei

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Re: How to be mustachian with a picky eater
« Reply #10 on: September 25, 2015, 12:45:40 PM »
Not sure which thread you're looking at, so copied from the other one:

Former picky eater (yet now completely reformed) here.  I did a few different things to get a taste for vegetables and different ethnic foods.  I started by getting meaty oven bake pizzas (good ones) and putting things like bell peppers on them.  After awhile, probably between 5-10 pizzas later, I started to miss the bell peppers if they weren't there.  I figured out that there are other pleasant flavors than "savory" and "sweet."  Fried rice is another good savory dish with vegetables in it where you can gradually up the veggie content as the person gets more used to it and crave the "freshness" of veggies to lighten it up.  After I got to where I liked vegetables, I went with coworkers once a week to an ethnic place I'd never been.  I'd get the most "mainstream" dish there, and at least try everything.  I didn't like it all, but did end up liking most of it.

I think getting involved in cooking helped me a lot too.  Jamie Oliver got me interested in what I was eating, and showed how "proper" meals should be cooked.  I don't do too much of his stuff anymore, but he's pretty inspirational (his TED talk is really good as well) and fun to watch.  The difference from what I thought a salad was (flavorless lettuce, a huge hunk of bland tomato, and a few 1/2" thick slices of cucumber with some shitty bottled dressing on the side) vs what a salad can actually be (mixes of greens, dried cranberries, toasted walnuts, with a honey vinaigrette tossed evenly over the salad.  Also love a good caesar.) is mindblowing.  I remember after having one of those real salads I thought "THIS is why people eat salads, it makes sense now, this is actually good!"  Depending on where you live, good quality restaurant food may not be around.  Frying food is easy and cheap.  Properly grilling fish or vegetables, or making a good quality salad is a bit harder to train someone making minimum wage to do.  Going to a relatively pricey place occasionally is probably worth it to get her to try new things, then you can learn how to make them at home.  I go with my girlfriend to a restaurant called "North Italia" a few times a year.  It's pricey (~$20 or so per person if you split a salad), but we get a new salad whenever we can and then try to reverse engineer it to make at home.  I actually just had a try at making ciabatta since they always bring it out as an appetizer, turned out great!

What it comes down to is the person has to want to expand their eating habits.  I realized I was being kind of a baby about different foods, there are people all over the world brought up in totally different environments from me, and as far as I know nobody's starved yet because they hated everything but fried chicken and hamburgers but were born in Asia.  In fact, most civilizations have built their food culture on things completely different from ours.  Are they really all crazy, or is there something to it?  That being said, she'll also have to "power through" a few things she doesn't necessarily love right away.  Taking one tiny bite of green pepper and declaring you hate it but tried it so that's that isn't going to get you anywhere.

If your spouse doesn't want to change, she probably won't.  It might be worth talking to her about her health, but I don't know what kind of person she is.  I know in some of Jamie Oliver's videos he talks about getting kids involved in gardening to get them to try new things.  Give a kid a carrot out of a bag and they won't touch it, have them grow that same carrot and they're excited to try it.  There's a whole world of food out there, and believe it or not, the food that is on kids menus in American restaurants isn't the pinnacle.
« Last Edit: September 25, 2015, 12:49:46 PM by ooeei »

zephyr911

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Re: How to be mustachian with a picky eater
« Reply #11 on: September 25, 2015, 01:02:59 PM »
It's also learned behavior.

If I disagreed, I'd have given up years ago - maybe even before we got married.

DW is Argentinian, and contrary to what many assume, she grew up eating more Western European food than anything else. She loves beef, bread, pasta, and potatoes, hates beans, and originally could barely stand more than a pinch of black pepper on anything. But I've managed to get her on a lot of Asian-style foods that I learned growing up in Hawaii, and other stuff I learned later on through exposure and experimentation -- and most of her taste adjustments have come through my gradually pushing the limits. I'd say in 5 years I've made something too spicy, or something she genuinely hated, less than 10x.

Sibley

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Re: How to be mustachian with a picky eater
« Reply #12 on: September 26, 2015, 11:06:58 AM »
I am a picky eater. I find that if you throw something really out there at me, I reject it out of hand. But if it's something sorta similar to what I already like, it's much easier for me to like it. Also, persistence is key. The first few times I had potstickers, I didn't like them much. But it did grow on me. Same with Thai food, though I really only eat one thing at Thai restaurants. Also, its best not to tell me what I'm eating, especially if it's something that it similar to other foods I like. Do not try to force the issue, because then you just annoy me and I'll be determined to not like it, just to get back at you.

There are also reasons why I'm a picky eater. It is not pleasant to be eating something then to suddenly start gagging on it because of the texture. I don't care how good you think it is, if it makes me gag, then I'm not going to eat it (some pastas, lumpy yogurts, jello and things with similar consistency). Same with getting headaches (sausage), sneezing and burning my mouth off (anything spicy, and spicy for me is your mild), or nauseated (sugary or rich desserts). Some of this I can work around, some I can't. If I get the mild salsa and run it through the blender then I can eat it because I won't be getting big pieces of pepper or whatever. Creamy yogurts without fruit pieces are fine, except that the one brand changed the receipt and now it gives me a nasty aftertaste. There are some sausages I can eat, and I do not stray from them. All beef hot dogs are fine, but pork is not.

The spicy - I could probably get past that. Except it would be so unpleasant to keep burning my mouth with spices, so I don't want to. Besides, you don't need absolutely everything you eat to be spicy.

szmaine

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Re: How to be mustachian with a picky eater
« Reply #13 on: September 26, 2015, 12:07:47 PM »
Wow! My DD has aspergers and as I read the replies I'm amazed at all the other folks that also have sensory issues. Best luck I've had with her is introduceding foods similar to what she already likes. Things that "sort" in the mouth, ie. Chunk s in creamy things like fruit in yoghurt or oatmeal are a total non-starter.
They key is never pressuring but continuous low key offerings with knowing I don't mind if she spits it out (in a napkin of course).

Argyle

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Re: How to be mustachian with a picky eater
« Reply #14 on: September 26, 2015, 12:27:58 PM »
I was friends with someone with severe Asperger's once, and he only had eleven foods he would eat.  Most of them were white.  It's a challenge.  He had expanded his repertoire over the years, but getting his buy-in was essential.  Generally it helped it was high-fat.  So he learned how to eat chicken by starting with greasy fried chicken, and moved on to other kinds of chicken from there.  Thus for vegetables I'd think that cauliflower or broccoli in cheese sauce would be a good start, or things like that.

Food issues are a challenge, and it's essential to remain patient and non-judgmental, which is also a challenge.

szmaine

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Re: How to be mustachian with a picky eater
« Reply #15 on: September 26, 2015, 01:24:13 PM »
Ha-ha! We call those DD's "famous white meals"!! I was blown away the first time I read somewhere online about the preference for white food. DD' s only veggies are potao and raw cauliflower.
Apparently this is because most white food is bland and of a uniform consistency.
I used to feel frustrated a bit but when you think of a time a food gagged you..like getting a lump of goo or gristle when you least expect it, then you get the idea.

gatortator

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Re: How to be mustachian with a picky eater
« Reply #16 on: September 26, 2015, 02:06:41 PM »
I recommend the book "French Kids Eat Everything" by Karen LeBillon.

It explores the efforts of a Canadian mother in her attempts to improve the eating habits of her picky children when they move to her husband's hometown in France.  The book contains practical tips to improve eating habits of kids (though tips can be easily applied to adults) as well as cultural observations about attitudes towards food in Canada vs France. 

The book is written fairly honestly in terms the author's own kitchen failures and successes. 

Astatine

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Re: How to be mustachian with a picky eater
« Reply #17 on: September 26, 2015, 02:19:14 PM »
Depends on the reason for pickiness. A friend of mine is very picky and another friend's theory is her sense of taste is different to others and she tastes things much more strongly, hence the preference for bland foods.

On the other hand, I eat a wide range of things. But, when I don't like things, it's because the food makes me retch and gag. So I will flat out refuse to try something again if the last time I ate it, it made me retch violently. It's usually a combination of texture and flavor, eg ripe bananas or fennel. There is no point in me trying to like foods I don't like because it's not just "I'm not fond of that flavor", it's more "retching while eating means I can't actually swallow it even if I wanted to".

mozar

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Re: How to be mustachian with a picky eater
« Reply #18 on: September 26, 2015, 02:24:28 PM »
Quote
Ha-ha! We call those DD's "famous white meals"!! I was blown away the first time I read somewhere online about the preference for white food. DD' s only veggies are potao and raw cauliflower.

This is my mother. She refused to use black pepper growing up because she thought it looked gross. So I got her white pepper a few years ago and she loves it.

For myself I got used to my mother overcooking vegetables, so my ex was frustrated that I didn't like lightly steamed broccoli. After we broke up I started cooking my brocolli a little less each time and getting use to the crunch. Now I like it.

JLR

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Re: How to be mustachian with a picky eater
« Reply #19 on: September 27, 2015, 11:54:41 PM »
Go slowly. I didn't eat onions, capsicum or anything spicy when my husband and I first started living together. Now I choose to eat them routinely. But we have to cook special food when my mother visits.....they just aren't foods I grew up with.

GuitarStv

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Re: How to be mustachian with a picky eater
« Reply #20 on: September 28, 2015, 06:53:36 AM »
A pop-psychology approach that you might want to try . . . when you're serving a new dish, make sure that your spouse is ravenously hungry.  All food tastes better when you're hungry.  Being hungry and wolfing down some food starts a positive association with the food being eaten.

I try to be very hungry when trying out new foods, and have found that it makes me more open minded (or stomached).

littlebird

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Re: How to be mustachian with a picky eater
« Reply #21 on: September 28, 2015, 07:57:39 AM »
There's a genetic variant that causes many dark green veggies to taste extremely bitter. Food in this category includes broccoli, kale, Brussels sprouts, etc. She may have this, I do and it makes me look like a picky eater when really it tastes completely different to me.  Just a thought, especially since you mentioned hatred for broccoli.

zephyr911

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Re: How to be mustachian with a picky eater
« Reply #22 on: September 28, 2015, 08:02:16 AM »
Quote
Ha-ha! We call those DD's "famous white meals"!! I was blown away the first time I read somewhere online about the preference for white food. DD' s only veggies are potao and raw cauliflower.

This is my mother. She refused to use black pepper growing up because she thought it looked gross. So I got her white pepper a few years ago and she loves it.

For myself I got used to my mother overcooking vegetables, so my ex was frustrated that I didn't like lightly steamed broccoli. After we broke up I started cooking my brocolli a little less each time and getting use to the crunch. Now I like it.
Broil it or bake it with a light coating of olive oil. It's vastly better than any "wet" cooking method.

There's a genetic variant that causes many dark green veggies to taste extremely bitter. Food in this category includes broccoli, kale, Brussels sprouts, etc. She may have this, I do and it makes me look like a picky eater when really it tastes completely different to me.  Just a thought, especially since you mentioned hatred for broccoli.
What's weird is, my wife hates all of those things but loves arugula, which is bitter as hell. I can't figure it out.

zephyr911

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Re: How to be mustachian with a picky eater
« Reply #23 on: September 28, 2015, 08:06:43 AM »
The spicy - I could probably get past that. Except it would be so unpleasant to keep burning my mouth with spices, so I don't want to. Besides, you don't need absolutely everything you eat to be spicy.
You really can adjust that particular tolerance in a very gradual way, just like the heat/cold tolerance of the human body, without dramatic suffering. I habitually add both red and black pepper to virtually everything at this point, and almost never get complaints about the heat. This is just a few years after the "nothing more than a pinch of black pepper" stage. The key is to work it into an overall flavorful spice blend and gradually dial up that component.

I still add heat to my own plate fairly often, but I'd say we've converged to a happy medium on a higher percentage of our dishes.