Author Topic: How to avoid house-envy?  (Read 15517 times)

Unionville

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How to avoid house-envy?
« on: March 05, 2017, 01:26:53 PM »
I just went to an open-house for a condo down the street with 1350 square feet. I realized how sub-par our early 100 year old cookie cutter home is.  it's 950 square feet and a very small yard.  We only have one tiny closet in the entire house and we use it for clothes (no-joke, not even a place to put brooms and mops. They hang outside). We also don't own a dryer or dishwasher. When I visit other places, they seem so HUGE and normal.  I live in a very expensive area, so moving "up" is crazy expensive and not logical to me.  So many people in the world live in such substandard housing, it's hard to justify feeling like we should have closets, etc.  Your view? Your living quarter size? Your number of closets?  Tell me this is normal.

swick

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Re: How to avoid house-envy?
« Reply #1 on: March 05, 2017, 01:52:38 PM »
I think it is a normal, society-ingrained way of measuring our success to others. That doesn't mean it is healthy and it also means making a lot of assumptions.

Strategies I have used in the past:

Figure out the opportunity cost of buying up. Put a price tag on every feature you want and see if it is worth it in time/expense/upkeep/quality of life. Some things maybe worth it for you. You might discover some things are a manageable annoyance, or some things really would add to your quality of life. You might discover some new solutions to problems you have, by identifying what is really the problem instead of thinking that more space is the answer to everything.

Make a list of everything you love or are grateful about your current house. Keep this list handy and pull it out whenever you feel the need to compare.

Make a list of the downsides a bigger place would involve. More to clean, more taxes, more time spent on upkeep, more desire to fill the space.....

What can you learn from bigger or smaller places? Look at how things are designed, how things are decorated, how things are stored. Are there features you love that could be adapted to your current space?

I totally get it, I grew up in a 900 SQ house. It was 4 of us and a pup. We had to wash all our dishes by hand and hang our laundry. We made it work. We also were able to have my mom at home, and when she wanted to, she was able to start her own business because they didn't have a monster house payment and had the capital and financial security available.




ltt

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Re: How to avoid house-envy?
« Reply #2 on: March 05, 2017, 02:06:01 PM »
I think this is a very easy thing to do.  But as my father used to say...the larger the house, the larger the bills.  There are some things I would change about our home, but there are things I wouldn't trade for another home.  And that would be house payments....no thanks.   There are some upgrades I would like to do, and we will do them as we are financially able.  I am at the age, 50+, where having a larger home would just mean more cleaning, and I've got plenty of that to do in our current home, so no thanks to that either. :)

 

lost_in_the_endless_aisle

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Re: How to avoid house-envy?
« Reply #3 on: March 05, 2017, 02:15:34 PM »
I live in a 750ft^2 hovel and it feels way too big for me, thinking about buying a cask of amontillado and walling off one of my enemies in a spare room.

goateeman

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Re: How to avoid house-envy?
« Reply #4 on: March 05, 2017, 02:16:53 PM »
I think there is nothing wrong with house envy.  I have walked through some multi-million dollar homes, and fallen in love with them.  Then I do run some numbers, come up with the budget necessary to afford those homes, and think "nah".

I find the same thing with cars. Having $1 million net worth, I can go to the Ferrari / Lamborghini dealer and buy myself a super car and still be financially comfortable. But then I won't be FIRE any more...and I think... is my freedom worth the ability to drive an amazing car down the street, and tout how rich I am, and make others jealous...but imprisoning myself with years of added work?

I love super cars, I love super homes... but I love my super freedom most of all.  Like Dave Ramsey says, replace the traditional status symbol of BMW's with a paid off mortgage and be debt free... now that's something to really be envious of. 

Too bad I can't drive around in a car that says "financially free"....well I could, but everyone would think I was a nut. :)

Ironically, I was really into "tiny houses" a few years ago, during the recession when my investments plunged.  I thought of the allure of a small but super cozy space, containing everything you need... with no mortgage.  I still think this is alluring, but for different reasons.  I really like the minimalist movement that's going on. 
« Last Edit: March 05, 2017, 02:23:29 PM by goateeman »

Lmoot

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Re: How to avoid house-envy?
« Reply #5 on: March 05, 2017, 02:21:07 PM »
Look for ways to better your own situation. The fact is you only have 1 closet. The fact also is, armoires exist.

My 1 bedroom house is 856 square feet, with a sunroom/bonus room off the kitchen. I am lucky to have a larger yard. I only have one close as well, so I bought an armoire, credenza, platform bed with drawers, tall dresser. And a nice looking $300 plastic shed from Home Depot to put outside for yard tools, water heater, and brooms and such.

Just because the house comes with certain things, doesn't mean you are forced to live in it, as is. Get creative.

Roland of Gilead

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Re: How to avoid house-envy?
« Reply #6 on: March 05, 2017, 02:24:45 PM »
One way to cure your envy in this state is to realize they are paying $5,000 a year in property tax while you are paying $2000.

goateeman

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Re: How to avoid house-envy?
« Reply #7 on: March 05, 2017, 02:27:20 PM »
One way to cure your envy in this state is to realize they are paying $5,000 a year in property tax while you are paying $2000.
So true. Also maintenance costs are 5-10x or more per month as well. 

I have a bigger house with 2 AC units. I have to replace them soon.  Replacing 1 AC unit would cost $5-7k.  Replacing both will cost $10 - $15k.

Zikoris

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Re: How to avoid house-envy?
« Reply #8 on: March 05, 2017, 03:27:13 PM »
You should have living space you love. If I were you, I'd look into some renovations, because I'm pretty sure that with 950 square feet you could stick a second closet in somewhere. Same with a dishwasher, if that's something you want - aren't those really easy to put in? Make your place into something you love coming home to, and the envy should disappear.

Our living situation: 400 square foot studio in downtown Vancouver, for two adults and one cat. Walking distance from everything. Two closets. No dishwasher or in suite laundry - we wash clothes in the communal one and hang stuff to dry. Very cheap. It's perfect for us - I would have a hard time finding a place I like as much as this one. When I see bigger places, I think of how much more cleaning they involve.

Paul der Krake

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Re: How to avoid house-envy?
« Reply #9 on: March 05, 2017, 04:06:19 PM »
My first job as a teenager was babysitting the children of the upper-middle class in a very HCOL area- greatest job I've ever had. As part of the job duties, I was routinely roaming around multi-million dollar homes.

The truth is that you get completely desensitized to it and treat it as normal. At the end of the day, it's just a home. Once you reach the ability to afford a clean quiet home in an attractive neighborhood, the extra square footage and amenities provide very fast diminishing returns.

For me, the optimal home is around 500 sqft per person.

runewell

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Re: How to avoid house-envy?
« Reply #10 on: March 05, 2017, 04:08:10 PM »
Nothing wrong with having more living space if you can afford it.  I like having 2700 square feet although if one of the two kids ever were to move out I would consider downsizing to a townhouse.

Iplawyer

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Re: How to avoid house-envy?
« Reply #11 on: March 05, 2017, 04:10:04 PM »
We have lived as a married couple in a very large home with a walk-in closet exceeding 100 square feet.  It had a walk in closet in all 5 bedrooms, a walk in pantry, etc. We have lived in 950 square feet. We were not happy even though it was only a temporary one year arrangement. We own a 1490 square foot home now that is just right.  And the cost is worth just right.  I would not do 950 square feet again because we were not comfortable. There is something worth being completely happy and satisfied. We can walk through huge mansions now and do the "tisk - tisk" thing still thoroughly satisfied with 1490 square feet.  I don't know if this helps. 

Roland of Gilead

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Re: How to avoid house-envy?
« Reply #12 on: March 05, 2017, 05:07:28 PM »
We have lived 10 months now in 160 sq-ft (RV).   It actually is not bad except I sometimes want more workshop space.

600 sq-ft would seem like a mansion now, but it is hard to beat our living costs which are about $3000 to $4000 a year total all-in.

Laura33

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Re: How to avoid house-envy?
« Reply #13 on: March 05, 2017, 06:59:12 PM »
The only thing that works for me?  Reminding myself that I *can* have it if I want.  I mean, there's no big bad daddy or mommy telling me I can't have it, right?  I can have it if I choose to have it -- I mean, come on, someone would be a big enough dumb-ass to lend me the money, right?  I just have to be willing to make the tradeoffs -- I force myself not to look just at the awesomeness of the greener grass, but also what it would actually cost me, both financially and otherwise.

We went though this (sort of) when they redistricted our schools and we ended up on the "wrong" side of the line, and then there was this new development with big new shiny homes in the best part of town.  I had major house lust -- went and toured the models, looked at the lot layouts, totally fixated myself on it.  And then I also thought about giving up my 2.875% 15-yr mortgage, which we are already a few years into and which will be paid off by the time we plan to FIRE; I looked at the extra cost of the new mortgage and taxes and thought about how that would feel in our budget; and most of all, I made myself think through how it would feel to permanently leave the home we thought was our forever home and had remodeled just the way we like it, all to start over again in some generic cookie-cutter version with like 1/4th the yard.  And I realized that while I wanted the pluses of the new place, I didn't want them enough to give up what I have now.

Note that sometimes, though, the answer is yeah, I really do want that (for ex, DH and I spend too much on nice restaurants; I looked at our restaurant spend and multiplied by 25 and decided that, yeah, I am willing to work long enough to save that much to live that way forever).  And sometimes that analysis makes it clear that there is a problem with my current situation, but that there is another solution short of throwing in the towel that gets me 90% of what I want for 10% of the cost (e.g., we solved our closet dilemma by turning a full downstairs bath that was never used into a half bath with two closets where the tub had been).

pbkmaine

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Re: How to avoid house-envy?
« Reply #14 on: March 05, 2017, 07:08:47 PM »
Look for ways to better your own situation. The fact is you only have 1 closet. The fact also is, armoires exist.

My 1 bedroom house is 856 square feet, with a sunroom/bonus room off the kitchen. I am lucky to have a larger yard. I only have one close as well, so I bought an armoire, credenza, platform bed with drawers, tall dresser. And a nice looking $300 plastic shed from Home Depot to put outside for yard tools, water heater, and brooms and such.

Just because the house comes with certain things, doesn't mean you are forced to live in it, as is. Get creative.

Why don't you post the floorplan so you can crowd source solutions?

BeautifulDay

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Re: How to avoid house-envy?
« Reply #15 on: March 05, 2017, 08:35:15 PM »
We are house hunting right now and struggling to find something that fits our true needs and not society's idea of our needs.  I'll admit we've been tempted to spend more on larger places that would require more in upkeep costs, utilities and a larger mortgage.  it is hard to even find modest houses in our area.  but we know that making a decision to purchase something modest will make or break our ability to live the lifestyle we really want. 

kite

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Re: How to avoid house-envy?
« Reply #16 on: March 06, 2017, 07:09:23 AM »
Get old.  Interest in owning & maintaining stuff will probably fade eventually.  If you can't wait to get old, travel. 

Paradoxically, by the time I was wealthy enough to buy the big place, I was also wealthy enough to travel.  It was travel that showed me how little space I need.  Weeks on cruise ships in tiny rooms with just enough space and a trip to Morocco where I saw some really cramped quarters were enlightening.   We have just under 900 Sq feet and could be content in half.  Our homes in America are embarrassingly large and wasteful, as are our lifestyles.     
Everything in those big houses, their closets, garages & basements is landfill.  All that stuff goes to the dump eventually. 

I have friends & relatives with medium and large sized homes.  Whatever envy I once had is gone.

Cpa Cat

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Re: How to avoid house-envy?
« Reply #17 on: March 06, 2017, 07:39:02 AM »
Avoid it by:

#1 Stop going to open houses.

#2 Realize that most open houses are staged in some way to hide the flaws. You know that your house doesn't have enough space for your mops, but if a realtor was showing it, they sure wouldn't have those mops hanging around broadcasting that fact to potential buyers.

If you moved to a new, larger house, you'd find plenty that you needed to troubleshoot, improve on, spend money on on, etc. For example - I live in a ridiculous and big house. In the Summertime, our bedroom is about a million degrees hotter than anywhere else in our house. No amount of consultations with HVAC professions have cured it. Instead, we installed a portable AC unit in there. A big, ugly, noisy AC unit that vents out our window (which we had to change out, because we couldn't have any kind of window AC with our totally impractical casement windows - which stopped us from doing anything about it for years). But if you walked into our house, you'd say, "OMG, look at all this AMAZING space! So many closets!!" You wouldn't think of yourself suffering and roasting in your bed at night.

2Birds1Stone

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Re: How to avoid house-envy?
« Reply #18 on: March 06, 2017, 07:47:27 AM »
~600 sq foot apartment here. No washer, dryer, dishwasher, we do have good closet space, and a recessed linen space in the bathroom.

Wouldn't trade it unless we found something substantially nicer for less money.

Prairie Stash

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Re: How to avoid house-envy?
« Reply #19 on: March 06, 2017, 08:53:19 AM »
I have a 950 sq. foot home, with a partially finished basement that adds 600 sq. ft of space. If you have house envy try to figure out why you do and then adjust your home to make it better. If you can't complete the small home improvement projects on a smaller house the work is multiplied for larger houses. For myself doing new carpets is easy, small rooms, if I had to do 3 times the carpeting it would be a major project.

I got over my house envy by fixing the problems in my current house.
Small closets - Armoire
No storage - built storage in the floor trusses, under a stairwell, increased the height of current shelving units (multiple storage units now), thank you Pinterest
No AC - installed AC
No Dryer - install a dryer, I moved my dryer which involved moving the electric plug
Drafts - More Attic Insulation to slow heat loss
Poor hot water - New hot water heater and low flow faucets
Small yard - I started gardening in the back alley behind other peoples houses

J Boogie

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Re: How to avoid house-envy?
« Reply #20 on: March 06, 2017, 09:39:38 AM »
our early 100 year old cookie cutter home is.  it's 950 square feet and a very small yard.  We only have one tiny closet in the entire house and we use it for clothes (no-joke, not even a place to put brooms and mops. They hang outside). We also don't own a dryer or dishwasher.

Woodworker/carpenter and owner of 1890 duplex here.  I have a things to say I hope can give you a new appreciation for your home and maybe encourage you to do some renovations.

-Older homes:

Cookie cutter or not, a 100 year old house has charm and I prefer them in many ways to new construction.  They were often times built with quality materials that make little financial sense to build with these days.  The trim, (I'm guessing probably craftsman), is far more aesthetically appealing than the cheap and bland profile-free slim trim that you often see in newer construction.  There is a reason this trim was called for by architects.  Also, if you make period-appropriate updates, your house will never be dated.  It'll be preserved.  There's no way to do that with new construction (unless you build what's known as a "new old house" which is basically the style of a 100 year old house with a few of today's modern amenities)

-Updates:

Unless you have 2 or more kids, I think 950 sq ft is a decent amount of space.  That's about what I have and it's plenty for my wife and son and me.  If you're not handy, you can maybe look into talking to a good carpenter/remodeler in your area about what it would cost to add a dishwasher in the kitchen, and carve out a mudroom somewhere where you can have your washer/dryer and broom closet.  Add a few slim profile built in wardrobes into your bedrooms.  Some craftsmen/women are really creative and love these types of challenges. 






SimpleCycle

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Re: How to avoid house-envy?
« Reply #21 on: March 06, 2017, 09:41:15 AM »
I agree with people who say to work to make your home a place you love living.  Our condo is 1000ish square feet housing 3 (soon to be 4) people.

No laundry would be a dealbreaker for me, so I'd figure out a way to fix that.  Depending on the volume of laundry, The Laundry Pod (https://www.amazon.com/The-Laundry-POD-LP001WHT-White/dp/B005FD7Z82) and a drying rack might be a reasonable solution.  Or a regular apartment sized stackable washer/dryer, or a portable washer that rolls and hooks up to the sink.  Lots of options.

We greatly expanded our storage space by buying an Ikea Pax wardrobe.  It is extremely configurable, and has two depth options (full closet size or half depth) to fit wherever you need it.

Also, this is confession-worthy on this board, but we pay for a small storage unit.  I figure an extra $35/month is much more affordable than buying a bigger place.  We store our camping stuff, our large luggage, dishes we only use when entertaining, and at the moment a bunch of kid stuff in there.  We could probably downsize further and get rid of the storage, but it's just not happening right now.

Finally, consider tracking down the book Material World - it's a fascinating look at the standard of living in different countries - very eye opening!

eyePod

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Re: How to avoid house-envy?
« Reply #22 on: March 06, 2017, 09:46:01 AM »
Just went through this. Literally thought about raiding my roth's to cover the down payment.

And then my wife and I were stressing for months over the potential move, etc. And then we realized that we love a lot about our home, and we could improve it instead of throwing money at closing costs.

Kaspian

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Re: How to avoid house-envy?
« Reply #23 on: March 06, 2017, 09:48:35 AM »
I have far more envy for the self-made minimalist millionaire who lives in an Airstream on a rented lot and who opens his door every day to palm trees, sunshine, and the ocean.  Morning shower = flop in the salty waves.  Man, that'd be the life!!

Bateaux

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Re: How to avoid house-envy?
« Reply #24 on: March 06, 2017, 09:51:16 AM »
Take a camping trip for a few days and rough it.  You'll have lots of fun out there even though you'll lack most modern comforts.  Then return home.  Flip on the light switch.  Flush the toilet.  Run the shower.  Open the fridge.  You'll fall in love with your home again.  You just need to reset your mind to the basics.

Cali Nonya

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Re: How to avoid house-envy?
« Reply #25 on: March 06, 2017, 09:58:28 AM »
I just went to an open-house for a condo down the street with 1350 square feet. I realized how sub-par our early 100 year old cookie cutter home is.  it's 950 square feet and a very small yard.  We only have one tiny closet in the entire house and we use it for clothes (no-joke, not even a place to put brooms and mops. They hang outside). We also don't own a dryer or dishwasher. When I visit other places, they seem so HUGE and normal.  I live in a very expensive area, so moving "up" is crazy expensive and not logical to me.  So many people in the world live in such substandard housing, it's hard to justify feeling like we should have closets, etc.  Your view? Your living quarter size? Your number of closets?  Tell me this is normal.

meteor:

I'd say house-envy is pretty normal.  I think a lot comes from where / how your grew up.  I am now in a 900 ft2 (2 bed / 1 bath) apartment with small closets, but I grew up in a standard suburb track home.  I know my set point is to have about a 1,800 ft2 single level ranch style house, which from where I grew up would have been a mid-level "nicer" house.  I know for me I have an ingrained feeling for what sort of house I want, which is set by the neighborhood I grew up in.

At least in my opinion house envy is less damaging then other material envy like cars, clothes, etc.  But I might be saying that since I am also someone who tends to have house envy.

And sometimes when I look at a nice house, I just remind myself that it is someone else's home.  You really can't knock on someone's door and say "nice house, would you move out so I can have it?".

Roland of Gilead

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Re: How to avoid house-envy?
« Reply #26 on: March 06, 2017, 10:17:04 AM »
I have far more envy for the self-made minimalist millionaire who lives in an Airstream on a rented lot and who opens his door every day to palm trees, sunshine, and the ocean.  Morning shower = flop in the salty waves.  Man, that'd be the life!!

It is not ALL roses.


Kiwi Fuzz

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Re: How to avoid house-envy?
« Reply #27 on: March 06, 2017, 12:41:02 PM »
I would think about what I would have to give up - years of retirement, time from cleaning/maintaining a bigger space, property taxes and so on and so forth.

I don't currently own a home, never have, so maybe it's easier for me to feel detached about it. I've always been horrified by the idea of cleaning a house with several bedrooms let alone multiple bathrooms.

golden1

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Re: How to avoid house-envy?
« Reply #28 on: March 06, 2017, 12:58:28 PM »
I struggle with this occasionally.  I live in a town that is gradually gentrifying and they are tearing down perfectly good, but dated 1960's era homes for McMansions.  These are really lovely homes, but to own one, I would have to either figure out a way to make a lot more money, which likely means a lot more stress, or decide to work until I am 70, and then the desire usually fades.  If anything, I want to downsize when the kids are older and move away.   

JLee

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Re: How to avoid house-envy?
« Reply #29 on: March 06, 2017, 01:01:26 PM »
For me it's just the amount of money it would cost to move. I'm sharing a 2br apartment in a HCOL area and my rent is $900/mo.  If I wanted to buy my own place, I'd be paying about that just in property taxes - not to mention the $400k+ mortgage!

slugline

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Re: How to avoid house-envy?
« Reply #30 on: March 06, 2017, 02:45:31 PM »
What is Hedonic Adaptation and How Can it Turn You Into a Sucka?

Realize that if/when you do move to a bigger/better house, you will grow accustomed to it and eventually develop envy for even bigger/better houses out there. Better be sure that your existing place is truly beyond hope of functioning for you before upgrading.

marielle

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Re: How to avoid house-envy?
« Reply #31 on: March 06, 2017, 02:49:53 PM »
I keep an insane amount of tools (jack, jack stands, ramps, several tool boxes, etc), many small kitchen appliances, and three bikes in an 800 sqft apartment with a roommate. I even buy food in bulk. You're not alone! I think the key is to keep things tidy, and maximize your vertical space. Hang things on the walls even if they don't look pretty there. As long as things are tidy it doesn't make me go too crazy.
« Last Edit: March 06, 2017, 03:52:11 PM by marielle »

Chris22

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Re: How to avoid house-envy?
« Reply #32 on: March 06, 2017, 02:50:25 PM »
I have far more envy for the self-made minimalist millionaire who lives in an Airstream on a rented lot and who opens his door every day to palm trees, sunshine, and the ocean.  Morning shower = flop in the salty waves.  Man, that'd be the life!!

This, sorta...Just came back from a tropical vacation and I have severe location envy, but not really house envy.  Really like our little house, but would really like it a lot more if it were waterfront :P

Fish Sweet

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Re: How to avoid house-envy?
« Reply #33 on: March 06, 2017, 03:31:23 PM »
What exactly is it about the big home that appeals to you?  Think in specifics when it comes to amenities that you want (a washer, more closets, room for a bike rack) and generalities when it comes to the home (don't think about the home you just toured, but your "ideal dream" home, perfectly laid out and furnished just the way you like).  There are a lot of changes that you can make-- closets can be installed, armoires purchased, furniture rearranged for maximum room and maximum efficiency, but you have to take that project on proactively.

I currently live in a medium sized apartment (900 sq feet or so) with 3 other people and a dog.  We have no yard.  Remodeling would be a waste of our money, if our landlord even allowed it.  And yet, we find ways to make better use of our apartment space every year.  One year we measured all our available space, went to IKEA, and went hog wild buying shelves and storage cubbies.  We cleaned out a big pile of hobby junk that had sat around disorganized for the better part of 2-3 years and surprise, once it's all sorted through it took up about half the space.  Part of my  personal house envy is related to vegetable gardens, so I'm buying a planter and going to a nursery sometime soon.  Even if I can't have a real garden, I can cultivate a little herb pot or 5 on our balcony.  Think about what you can improve, and take steps to make it happen.

MrGreg

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Re: How to avoid house-envy?
« Reply #34 on: March 06, 2017, 07:15:26 PM »
My house is small (800 sq. ft.) and I love it.

I live in a very high COL area so this was simultaneously the maximum I could afford, and also the minimum that I could buy.

I don't envy my friend's larger houses, so much as enjoy the privilege of borrowing that spaciousness when I visit at no cost to myself, while paying relatively little for my own place.

Cranky

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Re: How to avoid house-envy?
« Reply #35 on: March 07, 2017, 05:14:48 AM »
I have far more envy for the self-made minimalist millionaire who lives in an Airstream on a rented lot and who opens his door every day to palm trees, sunshine, and the ocean.  Morning shower = flop in the salty waves.  Man, that'd be the life!!

Salt water gets itchy if you don't rinse it off. (Says she who grew up going to the beach most days in the summer, and hated not being able to shower before we got home.)

As for actual house envy, that's a tough one for me. I'm pretty indifferent to cars, jewelry, clothes, that kind of stuff - but I am a homebody and a beautiful home is very appealing to me. I've mostly lived in dumpy little older houses and apartments with no closet space, too.

Our house is a basic 1960 starter house layout. It was never the deluxe model. I definitely have envied friends' bigger, newer, fancier houses. But you know, over the years I've noticed that newer construction is pretty flimsy, and my house is pretty solid. Over the years, we've slowly fixed things that bugged us.

Plus, we've gotten to the point where I don't want to store more stuff. If it doesn't fit, it needs to move out!

In the OP's position, I'd get an estimate on what it would cost to frame in a couple of closets. I bet it would be a lot less than moving costs.

Iplawyer

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Re: How to avoid house-envy?
« Reply #36 on: March 07, 2017, 06:16:00 AM »
I still think OP has valid complaints about their home.  I've lived in that space and not been comfortable.  A very well laid out just under 1500 square feet is comfortable and leaves us completely satisfied when walking through mansions.  I think if you are completely satisfied with what you have - you are happier.  We are certainly happier and content.  So what is the price of happiness?  I think the OP has to measure that with other things.  But nagging dissatisfaction is not a good thing to live with if you can afford to get rid of it.  I guess you can get rid of it other ways than buying a slightly bigger house - but I'm not sure I've ever been able to do that.

Livingthedream55

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Re: How to avoid house-envy?
« Reply #37 on: March 07, 2017, 06:57:53 AM »
I think you approach it from multiple perspectives:
(1) Cultivate gratitude for what you do have
      * Do a daily gratitude list of 5 things about the house you are grateful for
       * Plug your annual income or your household net worth into http://www.globalrichlist.com/
(2)  Try to problem solve the features about your house that really bug you
        * Watch youtube videos or books about small spaces,storage, organizing, decluttering, etc.
               * Visit The Container Store for ideas
(3) Decide after steps 1 and 2 if you are still unsatisfied and figure out financially if you are willing to pay   the cost to move to a larger/different house (is it worth a few extra years working, etc?)
(4) If the answer to # 3 is yes, then go for it!

« Last Edit: March 07, 2017, 07:01:52 AM by Livingthedream55 »

soccerluvof4

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Re: How to avoid house-envy?
« Reply #38 on: March 07, 2017, 07:27:50 AM »
I go through stages of this, some I think is totally normal. I have downsized twice over the years and when the kids are out will once more. For me I get an itch....I go to a couple open houses and see how cheap shit is built these days, the prices, the taxes and quickly come to realize my freedom and to afford other things is much more valuable.

Dicey

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Re: How to avoid house-envy?
« Reply #39 on: March 07, 2017, 11:23:34 AM »
One way to cure your envy in this state is to realize they are paying $5,000 a year in property tax while you are paying $2000.
I was going to read all the comments before commenting, but Roland stopped me in my tracks. Our taxes are nearly 12k a year for a 2600 sf clown house. Holy fuck, batman!

We're in this house because we are 4 adults, one with Alzheimer's.  When she is gone, we will downsize significantly.

My first condo was 880sf  2/1, and I loved It!

My advice is to bloom where you're planted. Ruthlessly curate your worldly goods. Find Marie Kondo's books and devour them if you haven't yet. Then spend some money making your house as functional as possible. Make it beautiful too. Do whatever it takes to make you love it every time you open the front door. Seriously, spending a little money this way will save you a shit-ton of money in the long term, and enhance your living experience in the near term.

Once your house is a functioning jewel box, you can look at bigger homes and breathe a sigh of relief when you return to your own gem.

seathink

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Re: How to avoid house-envy?
« Reply #40 on: March 07, 2017, 02:22:10 PM »
I feel it, too. The most poinent was when I was living with 2 other girls in a one-bedroom apt. in Hollywood and the giant condos next door finally went on the market. $850,000 (deep in the recession!!) for a beautiful, spacious 3 bedroom/3 bath 2 story place. But their view was the same as ours: the neighbor's balconies right across the alley.  So then I was like, why the heck would I want to pay all this money?

Now it's more of the opposite. I go home and look at all these cheap houses I could get if I didn't live in LA. ;)

I do what others have suggested here - I love up on the house that I have. And I avoid going to open houses/collecting brochures/etc. unless to look at it would emphasize to myself how great I have it now.
« Last Edit: March 07, 2017, 02:25:26 PM by seathink »

BeautifulDay

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Re: How to avoid house-envy?
« Reply #41 on: March 07, 2017, 04:55:14 PM »
Put in an offer on a modest townhome today.  I've been struggling because there isn't a yard. "We can't have people over for a BBQ if there isn't a yard" but we have a huge yard now and never have people over for a BBQ or really do much of anything in our yard.  So don't truly get much value from the yard. 

When we were talking with the realtor today about the $80/mo for water bills and all exterior maintenance, she commented that the water bill for her yard tops $400 a month in the summer! (We don't currently pay a water bill -company paid housing- so $400 was a shock) $80 sounds good to me and cured me of any regret over no yard.

 Combating house envy, for me, is about knowing what I need and going for that.

Dicey

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Re: How to avoid house-envy?
« Reply #42 on: March 07, 2017, 08:47:45 PM »
Put in an offer on a modest townhome today.  I've been struggling because there isn't a yard. "We can't have people over for a BBQ if there isn't a yard" but we have a huge yard now and never have people over for a BBQ or really do much of anything in our yard.  So don't truly get much value from the yard. 

When we were talking with the realtor today about the $80/mo for water bills and all exterior maintenance, she commented that the water bill for her yard tops $400 a month in the summer! (We don't currently pay a water bill -company paid housing- so $400 was a shock) $80 sounds good to me and cured me of any regret over no yard.

 Combating house envy, for me, is about knowing what I need and going for that.
Does your new place have a common area you could use to host parties? My old place did. We'd drag tables and chairs out on the lawn, have potluck and wine and just enjoy the evening. Funniest time was when we were all relaxing after dinner and the sprinklers came on!

Is your whole monthly hosting* fee only $80? That's so crazy low that I suspect the answer to my first question is "no". If so, is there a park nearby?

Congrats, btw.

*ETA: Thanks, fucking auto correct. That's "HOA", not "hosting".
« Last Edit: March 08, 2017, 12:43:22 AM by Dicey »

aspiringnomad

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Re: How to avoid house-envy?
« Reply #43 on: March 07, 2017, 09:11:17 PM »
Houses are illiquid and time consuming. If you're someone who cares about freedom of movement and of time, then do what I do and view houses as an anchor around your neck. The bigger and pricier, the larger and more difficult to unchain yourself; and the more you wanna fill it up with useless shit. Every time I get a twinge of house envy, I quickly remind myself of that. Admittedly, this is from someone who has almost 50% of his net worth tied up in real estate, so a bit of cognitive dissonance there, but I imagine most folks in my very HCOL area have much more tied up in their house.

nouveauRiche

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Re: How to avoid house-envy?
« Reply #44 on: March 07, 2017, 09:27:01 PM »
I just went to an open-house for a condo down the street with 1350 square feet. I realized how sub-par our early 100 year old cookie cutter home is.  it's 950 square feet and a very small yard.  We only have one tiny closet in the entire house and we use it for clothes (no-joke, not even a place to put brooms and mops. They hang outside). We also don't own a dryer or dishwasher. When I visit other places, they seem so HUGE and normal.  I live in a very expensive area, so moving "up" is crazy expensive and not logical to me.  So many people in the world live in such substandard housing, it's hard to justify feeling like we should have closets, etc.  Your view? Your living quarter size? Your number of closets?  Tell me this is normal.

In the condo, would you share walls?  That would be a dealbreaker for me.  I can't stand hearing neighbors through the walls.


BeautifulDay

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Re: How to avoid house-envy?
« Reply #45 on: March 07, 2017, 09:35:54 PM »
Does your new place have a common area you could use to host parties? My old place did. We'd drag tables and chairs out on the lawn, have potluck and wine and just enjoy the evening. Funniest time was when we were all relaxing after dinner and the sprinklers came on!

Is your whole monthly hosting fee only $80? That's so crazy low that I suspect the answer to my first question is "no". If so, is there a park nearby?

Congrats, btw.
Thanks Dicey.

No common area. Maybe the garage could serve as an informal hang out.  Or go to a park as you mentioned.  Lots of possibilities that require a bit more creativity. But that's part of the fun.  Considering volunteering at the botanical gardens or a community garden to cure any itch to dig in the dirt.  Looking forward to the change if they accept our offer.

Dicey

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Re: How to avoid house-envy?
« Reply #46 on: March 08, 2017, 12:49:23 AM »
Houses are illiquid and time consuming. If you're someone who cares about freedom of movement and of time, then do what I do and view houses as an anchor around your neck. The bigger and pricier, the larger and more difficult to unchain yourself; and the more you wanna fill it up with useless shit. Every time I get a twinge of house envy, I quickly remind myself of that. Admittedly, this is from someone who has almost 50% of his net worth tied up in real estate, so a bit of cognitive dissonance there, but I imagine most folks in my very HCOL area have much more tied up in their house.
That was good for a laugh from this HCOL corner of the world! Perhaps I'll borrow your visualization strategy next time I'm jonesing for another rehab/rental project.

stashgrower

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Re: How to avoid house-envy?
« Reply #47 on: March 08, 2017, 02:07:15 AM »
I remind myself of the good things about my home. I calculate the cost of upgrading, and think about whether I want to spend that amount on housing (nope) or my other priorities (yep).

FireHiker

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Re: How to avoid house-envy?
« Reply #48 on: March 08, 2017, 10:36:02 AM »
We "upgraded" to the giant house a little over four years ago. It has numerous drawbacks compared to our smaller house (went from 1732 to 3690 square feet, I cringe to even write that because it is ridiculous and appalling). Too much stuff, too much cleaning, too much space we don't use. The only improvement is that our utilities went down (even with a pool) because we went from city to county and the water district changed. Sometimes it takes making that leap to realize that it isn't really want you want, and certainly more than you need. Lesson learned. I want to downsize to something under 2000 square feet, if not smaller (will still have 2 kids at home after oldest goes to college in a couple years). Our property taxes are outrageous, over $15k a year. At least we got in when the housing market was just coming back, so after putting 20% down 4 years ago we now have almost 50% equity. I would rather not have so much of our net worth tied up in it though. My husband is finally open to discussion on downsizing, so I am hopeful it will happen sooner rather than later, but will probably be a few years anyway.

I agree with what other posters said about looking creatively at your space to fix some of the things that you dislike the most. Spending a little to remodel for a dishwasher or washer/dryer will be a LOT less than upsizing to the bigger house.

Livingthedream55

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Re: How to avoid house-envy?
« Reply #49 on: March 08, 2017, 11:43:32 AM »
Our property taxes are outrageous, over $15k a year.

Ouch!

 

Wow, a phone plan for fifteen bucks!