How much should a wedding cost?

[startingsmall]

Haven't read all of the other replies yet, but my husband wanted a traditional wedding & reception and I didn't want to spend the normal insane amounts of money.  We ended up with approximately 80ish guests, a church ceremony with professional flowers, a craigslist photographer, a $300 traditional-ish dress for me, matching khakis & jackets for my husband and the groomsmen, and a dinner/dancing reception at a country club with no alcohol... all for around $6000 (7 years ago). We kept budget in mind with every choice along the way, and while we certainly could have spent less (skipped ceremony flowers, etc), I feel like we found a good balance of doing things affordably without actually giving anything up completely. (Well, except the alcohol... but there were additional factors in that decision beyond just cost.)

We're in a low COL area, so YMMV, and obviously your bill will be a good bit higher with alcohol... but I think $7-10k is probably about as cheap as it can get if you're trying for a mostly 'normal' wedding.

[Marie13]

I've had several friends who had good luck using ideas from http://apracticalwedding.com

[RunHappy]

I've had several friends who had good luck using ideas from http://apracticalwedding.com

I just checked it and the first "real wedding" I came upon was how one couple made their 150 person $35k reflect their values.  Apparently they are guessing at $35k but they stopped keeping track.

[Marie13]

I've had several friends who had good luck using ideas from http://apracticalwedding.com

I just checked it and the first "real wedding" I came upon was how one couple made their 150 person $35k reflect their values.  Apparently they are guessing at $35k but they stopped keeping track.

I'll agree some of the weddings featured are over the top, but there are lots of good ideas on eloping, DIY, etc.

[dd564]

Weddings are one spot where you can appear to be very cheap if done in a cheap way.  And nothing better than publicly declaring to all of one's friends how cheap you can be as you invite them to witness your love for each other in the cheapest fashion possible.

If you're wife to be is up for it, than great, but 20-30 years of dreaming if a fairy tale wedding don't disappear easily.

With that said, weddings are expensive, and we wished we would have spent less on ours.  We spent about $35,000 but it looked more expensive than that.

Regrets:
1.  We could have traveled a few hours away and had a smaller wedding.  We had 250 people invited, we wish we would have had about 50.  200 of the people we probably haven't seen for 10 years if I counted.  This would have saved our venue cost which included dinners.  Our venue, food, and cake was probably $8,000-10,000 for the packaged deal.  Alcohol another $2,000 for open bar.  That isn't necessary anymore.
2.  We rented a "centrally located" church for a couple hundred.  Wasn't a lot, but we could have gotten by for nothing.
3.  Videographer - We never watched our video.  It was done well, but not worth the $1500.  No way.
4.  DJ.  Our was horrible and not cheap.  Shop around.
5.  Invitations.  They can be done for cheaper.  This is such an emotional choice for some couples.  I'd even recommend hand writing letters instead almost which would at least convey a personal touch...  with so many options for communication these days, I think this has really opened up if you're creative.  I think we spent $1,000+ on those.

We passed on the limos, etc.
We did the tux's.

I hope my kids decide to marry on a vacation get away.  I think these make the most sense.  The people who really want to go will find their way there, and others won't and that's okay.  They'll see them when they come back.

[pbkmaine]

The nicest wedding DH and I ever attended was my nephew's. It was in a big backyard garden by a stream. The tables, chairs and tablecloths were rented. Everything else was thrifted, handmade or borrowed. The bride's gown and bridesmaid's dresses were handmade by a friend. The table runners were burlap. The centerpieces were wildflowers. The food was buffet and made by friends. The bar was in the barn and featured local wines (this was in Oregon) and crazy cocktails made up in honor of the bride and groom. Everyone was relaxed and happy. I also liked the wedding registry, which was at Sur La Table and included a wide price range of items.

[BTDretire]

When my daughter was in her young teens, I told her when she wants to get married, just elope,
and I would give her a down payment for a house instead of waste the money on a wedding.
 She did! The hubby was in the National Guard, so they got a home with zero down payment,
we did give here $2,000 for misc. costs.
 Then at the end of 2013 we gave them money to fund Roth IRAs.
However, they split up in late 2014,  she had a bit of control over the money
so he only got a little over $3,000 into his account.
 Money was the problem, he wanted the new sports car and then all kinds of
expensive add ons, plus a motorcycle. She was raised by frugal parents.
 You might think I'm biased (ya) but when he got caught seeing another women,
she ended it immediately with out a second thought. I think she was happy to
have that easy out. (No kids)
 She's 24, fell in love, fell out of love, college degree, very smart, and now has applied to go back to college
to become an orthodontist. She is confident and having a great time. Also has a new bo.
 But, then, I'm biased.  :-)

That's really hard to read. Are you using some sort of program that cuts up the lines like that?

  I'm not using anything other then the forum software.
Tell me what you don't like, maybe it's my writing style, that I could fix, if I know where the problem lies.

[mtn]

When my daughter was in her young teens, I told her when she wants to get married, just elope,
and I would give her a down payment for a house instead of waste the money on a wedding.
 She did! The hubby was in the National Guard, so they got a home with zero down payment,
we did give here $2,000 for misc. costs.
 Then at the end of 2013 we gave them money to fund Roth IRAs.
However, they split up in late 2014,  she had a bit of control over the money
so he only got a little over $3,000 into his account.
 Money was the problem, he wanted the new sports car and then all kinds of
expensive add ons, plus a motorcycle. She was raised by frugal parents.
 You might think I'm biased (ya) but when he got caught seeing another women,
she ended it immediately with out a second thought. I think she was happy to
have that easy out. (No kids)
 She's 24, fell in love, fell out of love, college degree, very smart, and now has applied to go back to college
to become an orthodontist. She is confident and having a great time. Also has a new bo.
 But, then, I'm biased.  :-)

That's really hard to read. Are you using some sort of program that cuts up the lines like that?

  I'm not using anything other then the forum software.
Tell me what you don't like, maybe it's my writing style, that I could fix, if I know where the problem lies.

Make paragraphs longer than one sentence if you indent. Frankly, the indentation is not needed. Probably also easier to read when you double space your paragraphs (hit enter twice). But don't make a paragraph one sentence--that isn't how people read.

Actually, I just copied and pasted what you wrote--Wow, this was worse than I thought. This isn't a typewriter, you don't need to hit enter at the end of each line. The comment box will do that for you. Type your sentences, hit a period, hit a SINGLE space. Make a paragraph, hit enter (maybe twice), then continue with new sentences. Really no need for indentation on this site in my opinion. Here is how yours should have read:

When my daughter was in her young teens, I told her when she wants to get married, just elope, and I would give her a down payment for a house instead of waste the money on a wedding. She did! The hubby was in the National Guard, so they got a home with zero down payment, we did give here $2,000 for misc. costs. Then at the end of 2013 we gave them money to fund Roth IRAs. However, they split up in late 2014,  she had a bit of control over the money so he only got a little over $3,000 into his account.  Money was the problem, he wanted the new sports car and then all kinds of expensive add ons, plus a motorcycle. She was raised by frugal parents.

You might think I'm biased (ya) but when he got caught seeing another women, she ended it immediately with out a second thought. I think she was happy to have that easy out. (No kids). She's 24, fell in love, fell out of love, college degree, very smart, and now has applied to go back to college to become an orthodontist. She is confident and having a great time. Also has a new bo.

 But, then, I'm biased.  :-)

[Spork]

I've been married for a year and got married in Las Vegas. Now, before you write it off as an Elvis wedding (because it wasn't) here me out.
[edited for brevity]
Ceremony + Officiant (included seating, music, wedding coordinators, photographer, my bouquet, 10 photos, videographer and bottle of champagne): $900
Hair- $100
Dinner (5 course dinner, open bar, small wedding cake for head count of 32 people): $1600. We had so much food left over my DH and I actually boxed all the food up and went around giving food out the homeless the next day.

I married in Vegas 20+ years ago.  I believe we spent $300 for wedding+photos.  Dress/suit were ones we already owned.  Our philosophy even then was that spending money on buying a house and getting our lives started was more important than a big party.

Spork's Law of weddings: Amount spent on the wedding is inversely proportional to the length of marriage.*
---
*Before you flame me -- that's (mostly) tongue in cheek.  I've just seen a shitload of $50,000+ weddings that were divorced in under 5 years.

[needmyfi]

Shit, we spent under $500 on the wedding, including the rings. It was like $200 for the church/officiant, <$100 for the rings, $100 in refreshments (I made the veggie trays, it was a grocery store sheet cake) something like $50 on decorations/invitations. $25 to rent me a tux.

Admittedly my in-laws spent under $100 on the dress. Which is a story of its own.

So, my (to be) MIL and my FIL in the front of the car. Myself, fiancee and her sister in the back of the car.  Fiancee doesn't really get along with MIL and sister*. We go to wedding dress store after wedding dress store after wedding dress store. Multi-thousand dollar dresses. How do you expect someone to pay thousands of dollars for a dress where a dozen seed pearls are obviously already detached and dropping off? Fountains of lace that are also starting to detach? What a racket! Fiancee wants a simpler dress anyway, but MIL and sister keep bringing her these ornate frothy crappy dresses.

Stress levels rising. No AC in the car. I keep my mouth shut (a major accomplishment if I do say so myself!)

After spending all damn day doing this, I spot a simple, elegant dress with no fake pearls. On a clearance rack for 90% off. Under $100. I ask Fiancee to try it on. I get the hairy eyeball, as she's stressed to the max, and the dress doesn't actually look that great hanging.
 
She tries it on. It's THE DRESS. It looks lovely. SHE looks lovely. It's what she wanted. Dad buys it.

Finally, the day is over.

*And for good reason. Not really pleasant people, ugly combination of spendypants/cheap, and MIL was actually abusive until fiancee was big enough to fight back. Dad was a great guy though.

Thanks for the kind of budget I was looking for on MMM.  I'm starting to feel in the wrong place around here lately, with people thinking a one day party that could buy a downpayment on a house or pay off a student loan is even on the table.  I understand wanting to have 100 friends and family for the party, I also think if they are great, supportive friends and family worth throwing a party for they won't mind if they don't get jumbo shrimp and steak bits and will be glad to get 1% share of the biggest sheet cake the grocery store deli sells. 

[beberly37]

The price of a wedding really depends are where you are having it.  $20k in Hawaii probably won't get too much.  But for an average large suburban or small urban area in the US, 20 grand on a wedding is analogous to buying a three year old honda civic.  Meaning its way more money than MMM would spend, but its pretty frugal compared to the norm. 

Our wedding was done at my in-law's property, most of the money that was spent was done so to make property improvements that had been procrastinated over the years. 
The biggest chuck of money my wife and I spent was on the photographer.  My brother got ordained via the Universal Life Church website, I made the cake, we did a pot-luck in lieu of presents, borrowed the dance floor from a friend, and made a playlist on my laptop over an 80's era stereo system (four speakers is key). 
My inlaws did spend a bit on renting chairs, glasses, and linens.  We spent the previous year collecting $.10 plates at the goodwill. 

Wife's dress was her grandmothers, had to pay to have it fitted.  I wore and ugly brown three pieces suit from the 80's that I got at a goodwill for $5 (but I made it awesome with DIY ruffly shirt cuff and a jabot). 

Probably the best I've been to (and I've been to half a hundred weddings as a videographer), and definitely the best sub 5K wedding ever done. 

Big ticket items are venue, food, photo/video, and booze.  Everything else can be done cheap/free if you have the time/skills.  Figure out a way to get at least two of the big tickets for free and don't be scared to cross into the cheap end of the frugal/cheap spectrum for the rest. 

[drew61199]

My first wedding was pretty inexpensive - $5k or so. We received almost that much in gifts, so an overall wash. We were engaged for two years, so had plenty of time to plan ahead, stockpile things and cut costs.
We were married at a church which was donation for the priest (couple hundred). Reception was at a community center in a neighborhood. They provided chairs, tables and dishes. Can't remember the cost per head, but very reasonable. We did all the decorating, made table centerpieces, etc. We found a small local restaurant that did the catering - that was probably the largest expense. We had an open bar. We would buy liquor as it went on sale over the two years and stockpiled it. We had a friend of a relative (so no real interest in our wedding) work as the bartender and she worked solely on tips. Trust me, she made plenty as people sincerely appreciate free booze and after many drinks, the tips flow more and more! The DJ and photographer were acquaintances. Don't skimp on photogs - we did and it sucked. We're now divorced (photog wasn't the reason!), but I wish the pics were better regardless (my son may want them).  The wedding cake is usually a ripoff. We had sheet cake in the kitchen that was served to the guests. The "cake" was really two tiers of foam w/ icing and only the top small tier that we cut was a real cake. Saved considerable money this way.
We have had friends blow 20k-30k on their weddings and I didn't find them any more interesting or fun. Granted, I don't really care for weddings anyway, so take it for what its worth. In the end, it's only one day and a wedding has morphed into a day that isn't for the couple - it's become a party for everyone else that the bride & groom foot the bill for

[Bee763]

We were married in Scotland nearly 3 years ago now, so I won't give numbers (they don't really translate and are probably out of date to boot), but here's how we kept things to a level at which we could cashflow everything comfortably over the year of our engagement:

• Civil ceremony for 50 people at 1345  - one less meal to feed everyone
• Rest of day at our home church (tea, coffee and nibbles, blessing ceremony, drinkies, dinner, ceilidh/scottish dancing, evening snacks 2330 finish)
• Buffet-style dinner for 100 people, followed by ceilidh dancing for up to around 200 people (we didn't originally want "tiers" of guests, but that was how it had to work out because of the capacities of civil reception, church hall and church sanctuary)
• Friends made meringues and creme brulees for dessert
• Photographer was starting out so gave us a good rate
• Civil ceremony music and bagpiping by friends
• Traditional tiered wedding cake made and decorated by a friend as a gift
• Music for the evening dancing from a friend's scottish dance band rather than a ceilidh/wedding band
• A group of friends MC'd the dancing
• I wore shoes I had already had for years
• I put my hair in pigtails myself
• We made all our own bouquets and buttonholes, the church flower ladies put the Sunday flowers up a day early
• I made the favours - mini jars of either lemon curd or mango chutney
• Skipped out on table decorations, professional makeup, best man's outfit (MrsBee's brother already had a formal kilt outfit), veils
• Our engagement rings were each family rings that we had refurbished and resized
• Borrowed bunting for decorating the church and a giant slice of wood to put the cake on from a friend of MrsBee's who got married a year earlier

And some places where we "splashed out" because it was important to us:

• Custom wedding bands from a local jeweller to compliment our wedding rings (MrsBee's was relatively inexpensive as it is 'just' a shaped 9ct gold band, mine was much more expensive as it's made in platinum and more intricate)
• Civil and blessing ceremonies on the same day so as to always have only the one anniversary in people's minds
• Hired a bus to take guests to and from the civil ceremony so everyone was together and they didn't have to pay for in-town parking
• Two "wedding dress" dresses, because we wanted it to look like a conventional wedding, but we bought clearance dresses and had them altered
• MrsBee had her hair done professionally, but she went to a salon rather than hiring someone in (her hairdresser was a bit alarmed that I was doing my own hair, but there's only so hard it can be to plait pigtails)
• Local beer, cider and wine, but the wine supplier accidentally gave us the trade rate and we didn't have a bar, just a self-serve
• Compostable disposable plates, hot drink cups etc to reduce how much time our friends spent doing dishes

We were one of three couples in our circles that got married that summer and each one was different according to the tastes, personalities and values of the couples concerned. The first was fairly simple and low-key, with a small country-house ceremony, simple dress and evening ceilidh, ours was traditional-looking but community-oriented and the last one was a more "normal" church service followed by hotel package. Every time our anniversary comes around, or our wedding comes up (like we volunteer to bring the napkins/table cloths we bought for it and haven't re-sold yet to another event) in conversation people sigh and say what a lovely day it was and I am inclined to agree!

We saw an episode of QI while we were engaged that reported that, as mentioned upthread, the chances of  a marriage lasting are inversely proportional with the amount spent, but directly proportional to the number of guests so we figured we would get ourselves off the the best start we could ;-)

[Maenad]

Since this thread is almost 4 years old, I'm wondering how the OP's wedding turned out, assuming it did.

[SwordGuy]

Unless your pockets are crammed with $100 bills you don't need and your investment portfolio is already the right size, a $20,000 wedding is crazy.

That's more than a new car costs!!!   

That's enough for a college degree in my state if you're on your parent's health insurance!!!

Just invite the people who would really want to be there and no one else.  Keep it small.  Most of us consider going to someone's wedding to be a nuisance unless we're really close to the person.   You'll be doing us all a favor.   And for those who would be in a snit because they weren't invited, why the hell would you want to pay good money to hang out with people like that?

We were dirt poor when we got married.   Our budget for the entire wedding was $50.00.  That was an extravagant level of expense for us at the time.   We held the wedding in our apartment because it was someplace we had already paid rent for.   We made our own cake.   We told our guests that if they wanted food and drink at the reception it would be wise to bring it.   There was God's plenty of food for everyone.   People had such a good time they asked if they had to leave, some stayed for the rest of the weekend, sleeping on the couch or on the floor.   Make sure there's someone to take a few nice photos.  Not gobs of stupid, cheesy poses, just a few good ones during the ceremony.   Cell phone cameras are pretty awesome today, darn near anyone can take a nice picture given a few tries.

We've been married 36 years.

I saw a study a few years back where the length of the marriage was inversely proportional to the amount spent on it.   It's a strong clue that bridezillas aren't worth marrying...

[jim555]

Elope.  Cost, legal fees.  Problem solved.

[Roadrunner53]

I am going to an outdoor wedding in September. It is a barbeque. Should be fun. Hope the weather is good! Not sure what they have planned if bad weather happens!

[partdopy]

Completely dependent on the person.  I'm getting married July 20th, and my fiance actually wanted to go to the courthouse.  I insisted we travel back to Florida to get married in an area our families can attend, and contacted the pastor of the church she has been attending since childhood.

I'm going to wear some nice khaki pants, a dress shirt and shoes I already own, she bought a dress for about $150.  There's no cost for the church or pastor, and rather than a reception afterwards, we worked our baby shower in as we're expecting a kid in September, and that cost about $900 for all the decorations and such.  Our families sprung for the food.

I think we'll spend $1500 directly on the actual wedding and little party/baby shower afterwards, I spent more on the AirBNB for the honeymoon the following week.  If I didn't have to travel across the country, the whole thing could probably be done for that $1500, should be a nice, traditional and small ceremony, the kind people had 50 years ago when marriages lasted longer as well.

[partgypsy]

Completely dependent on the person.  I'm getting married July 20th, and my fiance actually wanted to go to the courthouse.  I insisted we travel back to Florida to get married in an area our families can attend, and contacted the pastor of the church she has been attending since childhood.

I'm going to wear some nice khaki pants, a dress shirt and shoes I already own, she bought a dress for about $150.  There's no cost for the church or pastor, and rather than a reception afterwards, we worked our baby shower in as we're expecting a kid in September, and that cost about $900 for all the decorations and such.  Our families sprung for the food.

I think we'll spend $1500 directly on the actual wedding and little party/baby shower afterwards, I spent more on the AirBNB for the honeymoon the following week.  If I didn't have to travel across the country, the whole thing could probably be done for that $1500, should be a nice, traditional and small ceremony, the kind people had 50 years ago when marriages lasted longer as well.

I think you are making a good call. I eloped and found out afterwards really disappointed my parents, who wanted to be included. It's good to plan a wedding or wedding party big enough for close family, or who you consider family. Live and learn. 

[PDXTabs]

So, my girlfriend and I wandered into this territory last night over a Skype call.  I was saying a wedding shouldn't cost any more than $5k.

Go look up professional hair, makeup, day of planners/fixers, and photography in your market. Then look at dresses and rings. If you want some/most of those things it will get expensive - and that doesn't even include the venue or the rehearsal dinner. We tried to keep it to $10K for 100 people and ended up closer to $13K, with catering labor gifted from a friend.

EDITed to add - I've also been married in a courthouse, but I wouldn't call it a wedding.

[supercouper96]

We were 22 , I was an early apprentice, she was a nursing student, had our own home for 1.5 years. This was in MN/WI
We spent $5000

Married at church $150

Reception at local VFW $400

Good friend decorated his car for the 20 mile ride.

We had subs and salads, and a good friend made the cake. $1,000

Hired local dj $400 he was awesome, even went past the 11p.m. That we originally agreed on.

Dress was $400

Photographer was $1,000 for ceremony and before. We ended up with one book, she lost the photos in a hard drive failure, we asked for money back, and she wouldn't give it, so we just left bad reviews and moved on.

Evening photographer $100 family friend

My suit was free because we rented so many for dad's and groomsmen.

Our parents just bought a bunch of beers for whoever they saw fit, because the place had a bar but no keg option. Beers were $2. My dad covered the wedding party for $100, I don't drink so, never really hung around heavy drinkers.

Decorations/ flowers $300 my wife did most of it with help from my sister lots of michaels .
 
Bunch of misc.

You don't have to spend money just to have fun. It's more about memories, and we were even more happy not being broke in the end.

[Kris]

I mean, we did a wedding and reception at an oyster bar for 75 people with all food and drink covered for $4,000, so...

[partgypsy]

I mean, we did a wedding and reception at an oyster bar for 75 people with all food and drink covered for $4,000, so...

That sounds perfect!

[Kris]

I mean, we did a wedding and reception at an oyster bar for 75 people with all food and drink covered for $4,000, so...

That sounds perfect!

It was fucking awesome. If I do say so myself.

[Grid]

Since this thread is almost 4 years old, I'm wondering how the OP's wedding turned out, assuming it did.

The wedding did turn out.  Total cost was $11k (not including the cost of the venue which was paid for separately).  We had 125 guests and additionally provided beer and wine.  I can live with the fact that I only had to pay $5500, which is close to my original number of $5k.  :)

[okits]

Congratulations!  I hope your marriage and life together are happy.  ❤️

[Hula Hoop]

Another thing you can do to mitigate the cost is to ask everyone to bring cash as gifts instead of having a registry. The average non-cheap person will bring $100 to $150 per head as a gift because they know the cost of putting on the party and feeding each person. This will easily net you back $5k-$10k in gifts.

In North America, that would be considered incredibly rude and tasteless.  You're not even supposed to mention your registry in your invitation (these days most couples have a wedding website and link to the registry there).

That would be because it would be incredibly rude and tasteless.  If I got that on an invitation, I'd probably put a crumpled five dollar bill inside a card, instead of my usual generous gift.

Same here.  I don't live in North America and the norm here is to give cash for weddings.  Even so, anything on an invitation that implies that the couple expect gifts/money would be incredibly crass and poor taste and received badly.

IMO the best way to hold an inexpensive wedding is to do things a bit alternatively.  The big poofy white dress, sit down meal, church, professional photographer wedding is always going to cost quite a lot.  Back when we got married I spent a lot of time on a website called Indiebride which, unfortunately, seems to have shut down, but it was kind of like MMM for brides and grooms.  Tons of great ideas there including buying a dress on Ebay, wearing a bridesmaid dress as a wedding dress, alternative engagement rings, DIY venues (for example using a relative's backyard or a church basement like in the olden days), DJing the event yourself with an MP3 player and rented good speakers, etc etc.

We had a very low budget non-traditional wedding that suited our values.  I was pregnant at our wedding and we were really thinking more of using the money for the baby and a downpayment on an apartment than a big traditional wedding.  Also, we're not religious or traditional in any way and only decided to get married once a baby was on the way.  Anyway, we had a court house wedding with 3 people present followed by sit down lunch for around 30 people which cost around $1000.  My dress cost $49 plus $30 for alterations (it was a white prom dress on sale that I had altered to fit).  DH's suit cost a few hundred.  A nice wedding cake and a few flowers for my bouquet and hair cost a few hundred.  We went for Chinese food with friends the night of our wedding and then stayed in a nice hotel for our wedding night.  We didn't have a wedding registry but friends gave us books and nice chocolates and a few gave us more traditional wedding gifts.  We didn't do engagement rings but we got matching plain gold wedding bands to exchange during the ceremony at the registry office.

The funny thing is that out of my entire extended family only one uncle and aunt are still married.  Everyone else is divorced.  Anyway the uncle and aunt surprised me by telling me that they got married at the court house too with only a couple of people present and didn't do any of the 'traditional' wedding stuff.  As my aunt said, they are just as married as the people who did the whole church and white dress thing and have been married a lot longer than most of those people.

[afox]

average is a terrible statistic for something like cost of weddings where you can spent virtually an unlimited amount, there are some very expensive weddings that skew the average enormously, median is around 15k.
https://www.theweddingreport.com/index.cfm/action/blog/view/post/pid/670/title/2016_U_S__Median_Cost_of_a_Wedding_was__14_399

[2Birds1Stone]

The average Long Island wedding was $60k last year.....and this is why we are taking half that amount, spending 12 months traveling around the world, and eloping along the way.

Bonus - we save on our honeymoon

[nessness]

Since this thread is almost 4 years old, I'm wondering how the OP's wedding turned out, assuming it did.

The wedding did turn out.  Total cost was $11k (not including the cost of the venue which was paid for separately).  We had 125 guests and additionally provided beer and wine.  I can live with the fact that I only had to pay $5500, which is close to my original number of $5k.  :)

Sounds like you guys compromised, which is a good start to a marriage!

[OurTown]

I'm going with $500.

[BostonBrit]

Since this thread is almost 4 years old, I'm wondering how the OP's wedding turned out, assuming it did.

The wedding did turn out.  Total cost was $11k (not including the cost of the venue which was paid for separately).  We had 125 guests and additionally provided beer and wine.  I can live with the fact that I only had to pay $5500, which is close to my original number of $5k.  :)

Any idea what the venue cost would have been if you'd of paid to give a clearer picture of costs?

[BussoV6]

The average Long Island wedding was $60k last year.....and this is why we are taking half that amount, spending 12 months traveling around the world, and eloping along the way.

Bonus - we save on our honeymoon

Way to go!!  And you end up with a much richer experience. I love this.

[golfreak12]

When my daughter was in her young teens, I told her when she wants to get married, just elope,
and I would give her a down payment for a house instead of waste the money on a wedding.
 She did! The hubby was in the National Guard, so they got a home with zero down payment,
we did give here $2,000 for misc. costs.
 Then at the end of 2013 we gave them money to fund Roth IRAs.
However, they split up in late 2014,  she had a bit of control over the money
so he only got a little over $3,000 into his account.
 Money was the problem, he wanted the new sports car and then all kinds of
expensive add ons, plus a motorcycle. She was raised by frugal parents.
 You might think I'm biased (ya) but when he got caught seeing another women,
she ended it immediately with out a second thought. I think she was happy to
have that easy out. (No kids)
 She's 24, fell in love, fell out of love, college degree, very smart, and now has applied to go back to college
to become an orthodontist. She is confident and having a great time. Also has a new bo.
 But, then, I'm biased.  :-)

That's really hard to read. Are you using some sort of program that cuts up the lines like that?

  I'm not using anything other then the forum software.
Tell me what you don't like, maybe it's my writing style, that I could fix, if I know where the problem lies.

I actually love the way you write. Easier for me to read.
Helps that I write the way way.

[golfreak12]

Met my wife in Vietnam. Had our wedding in VN.
We spent around ~$10k for a very nice wedding with about 300 guests.
We got about $7500 back. (its tradition in VN to give money as gifts).
Wedding like that might cost us >$20k in the US.

[EricEng]

Our wedding was about $5k and very personal. 

Venue-$0: We hosted the ceremony at our home.  Large white painted living room seated 60 guests comfortably.
Decorations$500: Hobby lobby for fake flowers, streamers.  Rented folding seats.
Wedding Dress and Suit-$0(*): I reused a black suit I had for work events.  She had bought the wedding dress prior when she had been engaged to someone else, but wasn't used.
Food-$4000: Snacks and drinks pre wedding were cheap and easy since it was at home.  Reception was at a steak house my work uses, so they cut me a good rate.  Everyone got a steak dinner for about $30 a head.  Cash bar.  Her father works food industry and got our three tier wedding cake for $100.

Initial honeymoon was a nearby theme park.  Real honeymoon 6 months later was two weeks in Iceland for under $5k.

[partgypsy]

My ex and I eloped (plan was to elope at the beach), estimating 500 all in. Just so happens his mother, sister and lil brother were going to be visiting one of the 2 weekends we were thinking of, so we amended to have them be part of it and be the witnesses. So when they arrived we said, we are going to the beach for the weekend, and we are getting married. MIL went into shock. Me and ex were excited and giddy, but I guess we didn't pick up that MIL while happy we were getting married, wasn't so happy we were doing it this way. Before this she had given us a number of hints where we could hold a wedding, such as pointing out a cute small church, and using their backyard that had a gazebo...
After we tied the knot I called my mother and father to tell them the news (they are divorced). Rather then being happy they both got upset, especially when they found out mil, sil and bil were there but no one from our side of family.

Even my ex agreed, that we "messed up". No one forcing us to have a big wedding (and we couldn't have afforded one even if we wanted to) but relations with my ex and my family were not improved that my Dad felt as a sign of respect ex should have called and talked to him before asking me to marry. And Mom wanted an official wedding.
 
I had my own reasons to elope. I know the new standard is that weddings are just about the couple. But if you have good relations with your family it is good to include them. 

[bmjohnson35]

We got married at the court house.  We asked a stranger in the lobby to be our witness.  We were in shorts and flip flops. After the "ceremony," we ate at a Chinese restaurant nearby.  The fees for the marriage were around $80, so if you include the meal afterwards, it totaled under $100.  We are still together 29 yrs later.

I'm afraid I don't understand spending a lot for a wedding ceremony. Over the years, I have seen coworkers and friends spend thousands funding their own or their children's wedding. I can understand inviting friends and family, but I don't see why it can't be done for under $1000. 

BJ
 

[TomTX]

I'm going with $500.

That was our budget almost 25 years ago. Still going strong.