How much does 1 child actually cost?

[Guitarguy]

I know there's a huge difference in perception between the rest of the world and MMM's on the cost of typical expenses. So instead of asking my parents, who are very "consumer" minded, I wanted to ask you all for some help.

My wife and I are trying to put together a 5 year plan right now on when we want to ideally start a family. Do you all have any estimates on what the monthly cost/child is? I want to see if it's really as high as my parents make it out to be.

For example, they said that we're looking at least another $1000/month in expenses just for ONE baby. I don't know if it's just me but that seems awfully high.

Thoughts? Real life examples?

[caligulala]

Daycare will be your largest expense if both parents return to work. For an inexpensive daycare in our area, the rate was $1300 a month. We have friends paying $2500 a month.

Our baby only expenses average about $180 a month outside of daycare. But we don't do the cheapest option for everything. For example, we use disposable diapers because we live in an apartment and have to go to the laundromat, so cloth diapers were out because of the washing situation.

Your life circumstances will also change once you have a child. We spend far, far less on entertainment, like going out to dinner or the movies because kids wear you out and you have to pay for a sitter. We probably spend more on fancier groceries than we did before because cooking has become more of a hobby for us. But overall, our spending has dropped considerably since the arrival of children. Good thing because otherwise we'd be swimming in debt!

[Southern Stashian]

I think $1000 per month per child is reasonable, with a majority of that going to childcare, healthcare and food / diapers. When we were doing our taxes last year, we went back ten years and totaled the costs of childcare since we had our now ten year old and it was just under $160,000, but that has been for our 10, 8 and 3 year olds combined. At one point we were paying $485 per week for the three of them, and in our area (FL) we can expect to pay $150 - $200 per week for a new born.

I have excellent health insurance with my employer and pay $120 biweekly for our family of five. Our plan costs the same if we have one child or three, and if it was just my wife and I it would be a quarter of that. You will definitely save money on food, diapers and other things related to your new baby by buying in bulk, buying off brands (we saved a ton of money by using Target brand diapers vs Huggies) and linking up with others with children, accepting hand me downs and shopping for deals as children's items are always available on sale.

Also be aware children will constantly be at the doctors office for the first few years (ear aches, colds, tummy aches) so be prepared to take them in for treatment at least a few times a year. With a good healthcare plan though, usually you will only be responsible for a co-pay and some prescriptions (and your time off of work).

So the monthly totals would be something like:

childcare: $600 - $800
healthcare: $90
food / diapers: $100 - $150
misc expenses: $50 - $100

totals: $840 - $1140

Also, keep in mind these numbers are for a healthy child. If a special needs child were to be put into the equation, these figures could double, triple .... Don't mean to throw that into the conversation but it's always something to have to plan for if it were to happen.

These figures are also for a young child so don't forget the additional expenses as they grow older (bikes, sports leagues, vehicles, insurance, college, weddings, vacations). Those expenses will make your $1000 per month toddler budget seem like a deal, but in true MMM fashion there are ways to cut those expenses too.

Hope that helps!

[tooqk4u22]

As others said child care (or if one parent stays home then lost income) will be the biggest expense.  Health care premiums will double and there will be other expenses on top of that (co-pays, deductibles) and diapers will be pricey.  When diapers are done then food and clothes will increase. 

I found below to be true as well. 

Your life circumstances will also change once you have a child. We spend far, far less on entertainment, like going out to dinner or the movies because kids wear you out and you have to pay for a sitter. We probably spend more on fancier groceries than we did before because cooking has become more of a hobby for us. But overall, our spending has dropped considerably since the arrival of children. Good thing because otherwise we'd be swimming in debt!

[DocCyane]

This is why I have a cat.

[meadow lark]

  Some expenses are non-negotiable.  But mostly kids cost however much you have to spend on them.  Way more than financial costs, they take an unbelievable amount of time.  It's like a new 168 hour a week job that you  not only don't get paid for, you pay to have it!  And it is 100% worth it.  But it is a job.

[Guitarguy]

Thanks for the replies, everyone.

[BPA]

This is why I have a cat.

ha ha  Pets are expensive but cheaper than kids. 

My situation is perhaps a little unique, but I just wanted to point out that you sometimes don't get a "typical" kid.

My son has ADHD, Tourette Syndrome, and a learning disability.  His family history in no way indicated that these were likely, so we were not at all expecting that this would be a possibility.  I have spent a lot of money on assessments and therapies and such over the years.  He has definitely cost me more than what a typical child would have.

He is the sweetest child there ever was and I love the person he is, but when I hear the pat answer "children are as expensive at you let them be," I smile.  It would have been irresponsible for me not to have paid for those assessments and therapies.  And pmy friends who have children with autism have paid even more than me.

I will say that living frugally has allowed me to work part-time, and so the whole MMM type movement is valuable regardless.

Just thought I'd share my experience.

Good luck.  I will say that my not so needy special needs child (my daughter has LD but for the most part hers hasn't cost a lot of money, just a lot of time) is more typical and I've spent less than others might have raising her.

[meadow lark]

Quote:   He is the sweetest child there ever was and I love the person he is, but when I hear the pat answer "children are as expensive at you let them be," I smile.  It would have been irresponsible for me not to have paid for those assessments and therapies. 

I'm assuming you are referring to my comment.  If that is true I think you misunderstood what I was trying to say.  I also have a child with special needs, who has cost much more than an "average" healthy child.  (I guess we are "lucky" that his special needs are severe enough and of a certain type that the state pays for some of his therapies.). I will say though, what we have spent is not as much as the average of $60,000 a year we didn't make for 8 years because neither of us were able to work full-time.  Also, I was not saying there was something wrong with spending on your children - more that the sky is the limit for spending.  Most people if they have x to spend, will.

[jpluncford21]

Our little girl just turned one yesterday (12/30). I haven't kept a running tab, but we have a strict budget that accounts for her expenses every month. We are in E. Tn, so living expenses aren't crazy. Our fulltime daycare is 150/wk now. It started at 175/wk and dropped at six months. This isn't a high end daycare with gold plated toys, but it is definitely a great place that we are very happy with. They provide meals, there is little turn over and i get to speak with the owners on a daily basis. We also budget around 200 a month for baby needs (formula, food, diapers, wipes). The thing we found that made everything the cheapest...ask for everything you will NEED from the registry. Clothes, toys, diapers, everything...We have bought minimal clothes or toys in this first year. Def under $150....and she is definitely not deprived...her room is exploding in toys and clothes at the moment. Grandparents love to buy this stuff...My dad comes to visit once a month and brings a box of diapers every time!!!!!
Tips: We buy the kroger brand formula. Our daughter does fine with it and it's half the price. If you don't mind more blowouts, cheap diapers are a way to go. Try to buy most of the clothes used....we have multiple items she only wore once (they really do grow up quickly!). Bulk diapers and wipes will always save you money. Make your own baby food...that stuff is way overpriced. There's no reason to buy the most expensive crazy toys...they will probably not play with them. My daughter loves tv/dvd player remotes and pulling books off the shelves. It doesn't have to be expensive if you don't make it that way!

[twinge]

It doesn't have to be expensive if you don't make it that way!

Nonetheless, the expenses you describe ARE $800/month and it doesn't seem you  have included any increases in health insurance premiums/medical co-pays which likely puts you pretty close to the $1000/month expense the OP parents mentioned.  And, like you said, you live in a very low cost of living area. So, I I think a lot of people pay a lot more than $1000/month, but it's pretty hard not to have at least that much expense if both people were working and they either decide to stop working and lose that income or pay for daycare. 

[Workin' Man]

  Some expenses are non-negotiable.  But mostly kids cost however much you have to spend on them.  Way more than financial costs, they take an unbelievable amount of time.  It's like a new 168 hour a week job that you  not only don't get paid for, you pay to have it!  And it is 100% worth it.  But it is a job.

YES. 
Also, like most other investments you get economy of scale going with more than 1 child.  That's where the book "Cheaper By The Dozen" gets it.

[MountainFlower]

Costco is a great resource when you have small kids.  Their formula is excellent if breastfeeding doesn't work out.  We liked Target brand diapers or Huggies purchased at Costco. 

I agree with the others about costs.  We managed to get virtually all of our clothes as hand-me downs.  Still do and mine are 5 and 3.  However, the thrift shop has awesome clothes and works out well to fill in the gaps.  About the only things I've had to buy are coats and boots.  We're in a cold climate, so I buy down coats and snowsuits off ebay and then resell them for basically what I paid. 

[Jamesqf]

We have bought minimal clothes or toys in this first year. Def under $150....and she is definitely not deprived...her room is exploding in toys and clothes at the moment. Grandparents love to buy this stuff...

Which means that you are getting other people to pick up a share of the actual cost of your kid, no?  So the true cost is what you spend plus what they spend.

[TLV]

We have bought minimal clothes or toys in this first year. Def under $150....and she is definitely not deprived...her room is exploding in toys and clothes at the moment. Grandparents love to buy this stuff...

Which means that you are getting other people to pick up a share of the actual cost of your kid, no?  So the true cost is what you spend plus what they spend.

Somewhere in between, for us. Grandparents' gifts do reduce our spending, but not by nearly as much as the grandparents spend. (e.g. They buy $20 shirts from some department store, where we would spend $3 at Ross or Goodwill.)

[jpluncford21]

Which means that you are getting other people to pick up a share of the actual cost of your kid, no?  So the true cost is what you spend plus what they spend.

I'm not sure if I take offense to that or not

[Ben]

Which means that you are getting other people to pick up a share of the actual cost of your kid, no?  So the true cost is what you spend plus what they spend.

I'm not sure if I take offense to that or not

It depends on what James means when he says 'Getting other people to pick up a share...' I would imagine the OP is not coercing the grantparents into buying toys and clothes.

Also, I don't understand how you would consider this to be factored into the 'actual cost' if they are luxury purchases. Going out to eat with my in-laws would not fall into my restaurant budget since I would have stayed home and cooked for myself otherwise.

[Jamesqf]

It depends on what James means when he says 'Getting other people to pick up a share...' I would imagine the OP is not coercing the grantparents into buying toys and clothes.

Pretty much just what I said (though I didn't mean to imply that there was any sort of coercion).  If grandparents (or friends &c through a gift registry) are picking up some share of the necessities,  then that share has to be added to what the parent(s) are paying, no?

Also, I don't understand how you would consider this to be factored into the 'actual cost' if they are luxury purchases. Going out to eat with my in-laws would not fall into my restaurant budget since I would have stayed home and cooked for myself otherwise.

True, you have to separate necessities - as when grandad brings along a box of diapers when he comes to visit - from the luxuries.  But you'd have to do that regardless of who actually buys the stuff. 

And if you go out to eat with the in-laws, who picks up the tab?

[gooki]

$50 a week.

[BPA]

Quote:   He is the sweetest child there ever was and I love the person he is, but when I hear the pat answer "children are as expensive at you let them be," I smile.  It would have been irresponsible for me not to have paid for those assessments and therapies. 

I'm assuming you are referring to my comment.  If that is true I think you misunderstood what I was trying to say.  I also have a child with special needs, who has cost much more than an "average" healthy child.  (I guess we are "lucky" that his special needs are severe enough and of a certain type that the state pays for some of his therapies.). I will say though, what we have spent is not as much as the average of $60,000 a year we didn't make for 8 years because neither of us were able to work full-time.  Also, I was not saying there was something wrong with spending on your children - more that the sky is the limit for spending.  Most people if they have x to spend, will.

No.  I was speaking generally, not specifically about your post.  In fact, I give this answer whenever anyone asks "how much do kids cost?" so my advice long predates this thread.  I give my perspective just so that people, who might not consider the extra costs of raising a special needs child, are aware.  I certainly didn't anticipate the disabilities or their "cost" before I had children. I have spent a lot more on my son than my daughter both in outsourcing for therapies and programs and in lost income because I work part-time.  He often can't make it through a full school day and so I've been working part-time in the mornings for the last seven years.  He would "melt down" 2-3x a week and I would have to pick him up from school at about noonish.

As I said, being frugal has allowed me to work part-time.  My plan is to either take my DBP which will be worth $21K/year when I am 50 (in 5.5 years) or to take the commuted value of my pension by the time I'm 50.

[Workin' Man]

$50 a week.

+1

[Christiana]

In 2009, when we had two, I added everything up and figured that together they were costing us about $6600/year.

That included:  health insurance premiums, me staying at home, breastfeeding, cloth diapers and wipes (sewed them myself), laundry, homemade baby food or no special baby food at all, handed-down/gifted clothing, and the cost of moving to and living in an apartment with one more bedroom.

Not included:  birth costs, doctor visits for illness/injuries (they didn't start crashing into corners until later), income I didn't make by staying at home, tax deductions and credits for children, and much less shopping or other expensive entertainment because having children just made it too hard to get out and spend.

If you want more details, I wrote a whole book on it; see Chapter 0 of the book preview here:  http://www.lulu.com/shop/peggy-wilson/the-naturally-frugal-baby/paperback/product-15054764.html

[Ottawa]

Just a quick reply.  I scanned the comments above and didn't see any mention of what costs are reduced as a result of having children.  Off the top of my head we spend way less going out for entertainment.   Too tired and no time!! This would easily offset $400 bucks per month ...if you were loose in the first place (ie pre-mustachian). 

There is no health insurance required above our healthcare system...we spend 5-6 hundred per month in child care.  As of next year will be in full day school and this cost disappears.  So once daycare is gone..and even accounting for sports involvement which can be done frugally ...we might start to *make* money! 

[TomTX]

For me, it will instantly cost $2,300 a year for health insurance. (going from self+spouse to "family" category) - but additional children don't add anything to that, so I guess we should try for more to get our money's worth!

[Norman Johnson]

Just a quick reply.  I scanned the comments above and didn't see any mention of what costs are reduced as a result of having children.  Off the top of my head we spend way less going out for entertainment.   Too tired and no time!! This would easily offset $400 bucks per month ...if you were loose in the first place (ie pre-mustachian).

I agree. It was probably a wash with us too.

Hard numbers:
Diapers and wipes: $40/month
Formula for first year: $45/month average
Clothes: free from friends, but practically free on kijiji or craigslist

We were lucky and had all the big stuff given as gifts (stroller, car seat, crib) and we don't buy toys that often and other people just love to buy cute things for babies!

[Guitarguy]

In 2009, when we had two, I added everything up and figured that together they were costing us about $6600/year.

That included:  health insurance premiums, me staying at home, breastfeeding, cloth diapers and wipes (sewed them myself), laundry, homemade baby food or no special baby food at all, handed-down/gifted clothing, and the cost of moving to and living in an apartment with one more bedroom.

Not included:  birth costs, doctor visits for illness/injuries (they didn't start crashing into corners until later), income I didn't make by staying at home, tax deductions and credits for children, and much less shopping or other expensive entertainment because having children just made it too hard to get out and spend.

If you want more details, I wrote a whole book on it; see Chapter 0 of the book preview here:  http://www.lulu.com/shop/peggy-wilson/the-naturally-frugal-baby/paperback/product-15054764.html

Awesome information! Thank you very much for sharing it. A lot of people my age are going through this struggle right now where, the things that were always "assumed" to be good ideas are no longer valid in this new economy. It's getting to the point where our parents think we're crazy. "What do you mean, you can't afford to have kids yet? We want grandchildren!" "What do you mean, you can't afford a house?" "Why would you want to save 50% of your income?" "How can you expect to survive with one car?" The list goes on and on...

[eyePod]

As others said child care (or if one parent stays home then lost income) will be the biggest expense.  Health care premiums will double and there will be other expenses on top of that (co-pays, deductibles) and diapers will be pricey.  When diapers are done then food and clothes will increase. 

I found below to be true as well. 

Your life circumstances will also change once you have a child. We spend far, far less on entertainment, like going out to dinner or the movies because kids wear you out and you have to pay for a sitter. We probably spend more on fancier groceries than we did before because cooking has become more of a hobby for us. But overall, our spending has dropped considerably since the arrival of children. Good thing because otherwise we'd be swimming in debt!

My healthcare did not double.  It went up ~70 dollars per month. 

On a separate note, my work offers a dependent care account of up to 5k non-taxed.  The issue is that it's only reimbursable.  So not only are they taking out an extra $200 a paycheck, but then I have to get the receipt and refund.  Pain in the butt but definitely worth the money in the end.  I talked to a co-worker who just couldn't do it because it was such a pain.  I'll be inconvenienced for ~$1200 a year!

[kolorado]

I kept decent records of everything needed/purchased for our first, as well as medical expenses and how much utility bills(babies like it warmer than I do and the expense of much more laundry) and monthly expenses(some quicker eats was a big one as well as all the regular jaunts to the doctor and increased insurance premiums) went up after he was born.
We were lucky to have been showered with 90% of the "stuff"(cribs/carseat/blankets/clothes and toys)as well as cash to purchase cloth diapers. We had 100% medical coverage for my pregnancy and delivery.
All in all, that first year, the cost was $2000. We paid about $1200 of that out of our pockets so $100 a month. If we had had to pay medical expenses out of pocket, my week in the hospital and Cesarean delivery as well as pregnancy care would have cost over $30K. Our healthcare premiums only went up about $25 a month but this was back in 2003.
I didn't track expenses as closely with my second since we used all our son's hand-me-downs and anything we were gifted(different gender). Our utilities again went up but our total spending actually went down for that year.
If the baby is born to insured parents, breastfed, uses cloth diapers, wears/uses secondhand or hand-me-downs and has a parent at home instead of daycare, that baby is cheeeeeeeeeaaaaaap! With a parent at home, you might even go into the negative with expense since the at home parent can devote more time to other ventures that save money. You also should recoup a bit in tax deductions and credits. That's the way I was personally raised and how my hubby and I can afford three kids of our own. Right now I estimate that each of my kiddos cost us $2K a year. That's food, health, utilities, clothes, education, celebrations and fun.

[Steel_Rain]

Intersting thread, a little perspective from further on down the line :)  the costs up front of kids is not as high as you would think,  Many anaecdotes in this tread i can back up, granparents starting us out with stroler, etc.  The real costs are daycare for first 6 years if two income.  More in healthcare insurance in the states.  After 6 years the costs go down quite a bit and stay down until about high school.  then the big bills come, car insurance goes way up, Activities costs go way up and then there is collage, which probably accounts for half the total over ther lifetime :) 


Kevin;

[Viv A. Stache]

Here is my break down for our 2 yr old monthly:
Daycare: $550
Food: $75
Clothes/toys/gear: $25

Her healthcare is covered with no increase, and I breastfed (for free!). She rarely gets sick, so there aren't many doctor copayments, nor missed work costs. We did upgrade our sub-compact to a used small minivan to the tune of $3000, and she's recently out of diapers, which added about $80/month. The upfront costs (nursery, gear and maternity time off) ran about $1500, mostly because we have a generous family and I didn't buy anything new. As it is, she has too many clothes and toys, which I resell at the consignment shop for about 15% back.

I'm going to second Ottawa and say that our entertainment and clothes budget went way down after she was born. I don't mind wearing "mom clothes" which wash easily and we spend a lot more time at the park now, rather than driving around to the mall, movies or museums like before.