How MMM changed my Christmas

[Frugalman19]

I found this sight about a month and a half ago and since then have spent quite some time on it. It has really changed my life in the short term. For beginner, after spending a weekend reading through the blog posts and finding the forum, I walked into work money and upped my 401(k) from 6% of my salary to 20%. In that time I have also got my wife on board with the MMM lifestyle changes. We are by no means hardcore, we still do a lot of fancypants things, but our goals starting out was to save 50% of our income for the first couple of years, that way we could still spend whatever was leftover and not feel guilty.

Christmas. This time of year has always been tough for me because I just recently started making fairly good money. I always remembered being the one that was getting gifts that were much more costly that the gifts I could give other. Now, I am able to purchase those expensive gifts for people. The last few years, I would agonize over how much someone was going to spend on me and if I needed to go get them something to match their gift. Not this year, this year I made things for people, mostly my wife did, but I helped. I really got out of my own head about what others expected from me and what I was supposed to purchase for others.

I can say that no one has treated me different or looked down at me for giving this less expensive more thoughtful gifts. It is a good feeling. The feeling that I felt that now that I made a certain amount of money means I have to spend way too much on Christmas is gone.

Thank you all for that, and Merry Christmas to everyone. You guys have been so helpful whether you realize it or not, whether I've argued with you on a post, or whether I've agreed with you all the way. You have made me think a lot more about finances and changed some of my stubborn fancypants views. Thanks again!

[ArcadeStache]

Good for you. This would never fly in my family, so I am forced to just deal with the obligatory exchange of equally priced items that we tell each other to buy. We keep the spending per gift reasonable, but it's still all unnecessary. And don't get me started on all the plastic crap (son's toys/play sets) I'll be hauling home to further overrun my house...we're keeping the Chinese economy afloat ya know. I would LOVE for the whole family to adopt a "small/homemade/under $10 creative gift" rule or take on some charity project together.

[aceyou]

My wife and I have an idea for de-escalating the present (aka, plastic stuff that we wouldn't otherwise buy) buying going forward. 

Typically in our family, we all get presents for the parents, our siblings, and now nieces/nephews as all my and my wife's siblings are beginning families. 

When my wife and my birthdays come around this March, we are going to suggest to our siblings and parents that we already have more than what we need, and but that they may feel free to get gifts for our children on their birthdays, since little kids love to open things. 

My hope is that our siblings reciprocate and offer the same on their birthdays.  And hopefully we can de-excalate a little further at christmas next year. 

At this point is 25% to reduce spending, and 75% to reduce the amount of stuff entering my house. 

[HappyMargo]

Good for you! 
You're getting in the swing of questioning the norm & figuring out what holds value for you & your family.  You might even be starting a more meaningful home-made gift tradition going forward!

We got off the crazy gift treadmill several years ago.  Now we prefer to share experiences, home-cooked festive family meals, watching "It's a Wonderful Life" together, playing cards with Christmas music playing in back ground, a pot of mulled wine making the whole house smell like pie ... just low stress & lovely. 

[MisterTwoForty]

My goal for Christmas gifts is to minimize what I am given as much as possible.  I very much appreciate gifts, but don't need a bunch more stuff I'll never use.

I like to see my nieces and nephews open gifts more than getting them myself.  Our budget is mostly for our parents and my nieces and nephews.

[Gunny]

I don't feel guilty at all when my mom spends more than she has on my son, wife and me.  I have asked her time and again to stop buying "nice" gifts for us because she can't afford it, we have TOO much stuff already, and we just gift home made baked goods.

As I have been growing my money mustache for years and now FIRE'd living on said stash, I refuse to take a face punch over Christmas. Each year we set a $600 limit on Christmas.  200 for our son (now 11), 100 each for my wife and me, and 200 for everyone else.  This includes seven sets of siblings and their families, two sets of parents, my two daughters and their families, and ten sets of neighbor's and their families.  How do we do it?  My wife is an awesome baker and maker of holiday goodies.  We buy enough ingredients for my wife to bake/make enough cakes, candies and fudge to fill 21 small shoe box-sized packages.  Some get mailed, some hand delivered.  All include a Christmas card.

Everyone enjoys the goodies and reciprocates in similar fashion.  Everyone except my retired mother living on a very fixed income, and credit cards it would appear. 

[Frugalman19]

I don't feel guilty at all when my mom spends more than she has on my son, wife and me.  I have asked her time and again to stop buying "nice" gifts for us because she can't afford it, we have TOO much stuff already, and we just gift home made baked goods.

As I have been growing my money mustache for years and now FIRE'd living on said stash, I refuse to take a face punch over Christmas. Each year we set a $600 limit on Christmas.  200 for our son (now 11), 100 each for my wife and me, and 200 for everyone else.  This includes seven sets of siblings and their families, two sets of parents, my two daughters and their families, and ten sets of neighbor's and their families.  How do we do it?  My wife is an awesome baker and maker of holiday goodies.  We buy enough ingredients for my wife to bake/make enough cakes, candies and fudge to fill 21 small shoe box-sized packages.  Some get mailed, some hand delivered.  All include a Christmas card.

Everyone enjoys the goodies and reciprocates in similar fashion.  Everyone except my retired mother living on a very fixed income, and credit cards it would appear.

I wouldn't say I get guilty, I get more frustrated when my mom spends too much money on Christmas. She is in a terrible place financially, even if she can't recognize it, I can. What's the old saying, you can lead a horse to water...

[ArcadeStache]

Yeah same here... Parents are 60 and not able to retire despite being generally not spendy, though not investment savvy, people. I kept telling my mom to give it rest with the gifts but she doesn't listen.

[Zarya]

We like to give each other favorite (and special) consumables for Christmas: nice coffee beans, truffle oil, wine, fancy olives or cheeses, etc. It's a nice way to give something that people will both appreciate and use up.

[umterp1999]

My in laws also like the big production of xmas.  They are very generous.  But I have enough clothes to probably last me the rest of my life, and enough knickknacky things to decorate an entire second home.  So I make a list every year.  I always ask for things I would buy anyways (oil and filters for the car), garage organizers, tools, etc.  Things that will actually be used and valued.  I keep my list througout the year and before I buy anything, I see if it can wait for xmas.  Most of the time it can. 

They do splurge on some nice coffee for me, as I am a coffee drinker, a few of my favorite chocolates.