Venting here: I could have downshifted to 20 hours/week by now, or had a much higher savings rate, if I had stayed in town
To backtrack: house #1 cost $45k in 2002, very LCOL area with poor job prospects, but the payment was cheaper than living in a dorm
2008 (right before the crash): moved to higher COL area for work, sold house #1 for $62k and bought house #2 (very similar to house #1, about 800 square feet, 2 bed, 1 bath, galley kitchen) for $117k. This was walking distance from work, on bike trails, and had very low utility costs.
2013: got sick of the galley kitchen and wanted to live in a nicer place. Husband wanted to fulfill his dream of living in the country. I had not discovered MMM yet but had amassed about $75k in a savings account due to natural frugality. I had no knowledge of investing, was putting just enough in my 403b to get the match, and just assumed that everyone works until they are 65, so I used the money on a down payment for my big spendypants house.
So house #3 cost $340k in 2013. it is a very nice house with 2500 square feet, 3 beds, 2 baths, large kitchen with an island, a giant barn, and 18 acres of land. The mortgage is at 3.75% and we still owe about $228k. Payments are $1532/ month with tax and insurance included. The mortgage is not the problem.
Problem 1: We did not sell house #2 before buying house #3. We had decided to redo the bathroom after moving out but before putting it on the market (because there was only one bathroom). Contractor flaked out and I had to find another one, which pushed the timetable back and we lost out on the summer real estate season. Winter came and I looked at renting the house, but the city made ridiculous demands to get the house up to their rental codes, so I took the first lowball offer I got (about 90k after closing costs, realtor fees, etc). Lesson learned.
Problem 2: Vampires. My big spendypants house has them everywhere. Electric bill is 3x what it was in town, and that is after doing all the easy fixes like LED bulbs and hanging clothes outside. The per kWh charge is higher because the company has more lines to maintain., but I still think the house is using power even when nothing is turned on. We have LP gas for heat, which is more expensive than the natural gas in town. We got a home energy audit a couple years ago and the guy told us to add more insulation to the attic, so we are using a bit less propane but the electricity is the same. We have a high water table so the sump pump runs almost constantly. We paid a contractor to put in a French drain and the basement isn't any dryer than before. The creek in back has shifted in the past 2 years and part of my property is now under water.
Problem 3: Time. We didn't notice this until we had a kid. It takes 3 hours to mow the lawn, plus there are plenty of repairs and DIY projects to be done around here, and a bigger house takes longer to clean. Problem is only one of us can work on things at a time because someone has to watch the kid.
Problem 4: My husband and his crap. He has used the country living and extra space as an excuse to buy all sorts of crap. Some was necessary, most was not. Also when he buys a new thing he doesn't get rid of the old one. Much easier to have less crap in a smaller space.
Problem 5: no sidewalks. Again, I didn't notice this until I had a kid. We live on a busy county highway with gravel shoulders. I can bike to work by riding on the yellow line, but would not feel safe pulling a bike trailer. Also I have to drive about 2 miles to a nearby park to take my kid for a walk in his stroller. 2 miles is not much, but it is also not mustachian.
So there, I am done complaining. I could sell the house and downsize but hubby doesn't want to live in town. I could get a smaller, cheaper house in the country but the other issues would be the same, and it would probably be further from work. Also the county will be doing road work all summer so it wouldn't be a good time to sell, plus there are lots of little repairs, painting, etc. that we don't have time to do. And there is another baby on the way so the next couple of years will be a crappy time to move. Due to my side gig I am managing a 50% savings rate for now in spite of the house, but I would like to work less and have more time with the kiddos.