Author Topic: How do you light the fire under your ass?  (Read 5980 times)

fidgiegirl

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1082
How do you light the fire under your ass?
« on: September 24, 2012, 04:26:03 PM »
I am struggling with really really wanting to start saving more and just not seeming to gain traction at it.  Partly it is because of my DH, but I am just as much of it as him.  We moved about a year ago and keep finding improvements that we "have to" do before _____ (moving in, then our open house, then summer, now winter . . . ) and that is leaching a lot of money.  Plus now I fear his 1996 Honda is on its last legs . . . it's turning into kind of a money pit.  When we lived in our other house our savings just grew and grew but here they don't since the mortgage is bigger.

Anyway!  I know there are changes we can make and actually know what some of them are, too, and that's not really what this post is about.  It's just . . . making them.  It isn't happening.

How do you personally light the fire under your ass?

(And keep it burning, cuz baby, this can be a long process - and no matter how bad you want it in the beginning, there has to be a way to sustain the hard work it takes to get to FI)

Zaga

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 2903
  • Age: 44
  • Location: North of Pittsburgh, PA
    • A Wall of Hats
Re: How do you light the fire under your ass?
« Reply #1 on: September 24, 2012, 04:43:08 PM »
I read personal finance blogs and forums.  It's motivates me a ton to see people actually making things happen!

gooki

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 2917
  • Location: NZ
    • My FIRE journal
Re: How do you light the fire under your ass?
« Reply #2 on: September 24, 2012, 04:51:27 PM »
Getting aggressive about debt repayment can be a great motivator for someone who is less committed to investing and saving. Just up those monthly mortgage payments and get used to living off less.

PS. Home improvements aren't a bad thing, provided they're adding long term value.

MB

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 12
    • 12 Year Career
Re: How do you light the fire under your ass?
« Reply #3 on: September 25, 2012, 02:40:48 PM »
The first couple years are the hardest!  If you can just muster up enough brute willpower to force yourself to save now, you will seriously be amazed by how easy it is to grow your net worth in a couple years. 

For example, it took me (alone) 2.5 YEARS after college to accumulate the same amount as it took me and my husband (together) the first 3 months of 2012 to accumulate.  Of course, there were a lot of things that played into why that specific period of time was so great, but my mind was still completely blown.  (And yes, of course we've gotten raises between those time periods, but I wouldn't say they were anything above average.)

Just have faith that, as tough as it is now, once you gain some momentum in the savings department you will have no trouble keeping it!
« Last Edit: September 25, 2012, 02:43:24 PM by MB »

tooqk4u22

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 2833
Re: How do you light the fire under your ass?
« Reply #4 on: September 25, 2012, 02:48:06 PM »
Figure out your goals and what is important.  As for motivating, I think Arebelspy nailed it when he suggested elsewhere that you should focus on Net Worth because then you will always see progress (hopefully). 

AmbystomaOpacum

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 65
  • Age: 11
  • Location: Somewhere in the southeast U.S.
Re: How do you light the fire under your ass?
« Reply #5 on: September 25, 2012, 03:19:54 PM »
I think you have to focus on lifestyle change over goals.

Financial independence is basically about one number: your savings rate. If it's high (say over 30%), you'll be financially independent earlier than any traditional retirement. If it's low (say between 10% and 30%), you'll still be financially independent, but at a normal retirement age. If it's very low (say under 10%) or negative, you will never be financially independent.

Nothing changes if you're in debt. Just think of your debt as negative savings and paying it off as putting money in savings to get it back to positive.

Financial independence is not so much a goal you achieve as it is a natural result of a particular lifestyle. So the trick is making your lifestyle and your desired savings rate (and in turn, your desired time to financial independence) line up. I think the best way to achieve that is to focus on the lifestyle changes themselves.

Focus on developing the habits that accompany a high-savings-rate lifestyle. Transfer money to savings automatically. Build a habit of multiplying weekly expenses by 752 and monthly by 173. Learn to cook from scratch. Build a distaste for driving (shouldn't be hard, just think about the traffic, the environmental impact, the stress of dealing with other drivers).

Think about these things as the habits of a healthy financial life. Just like if you wanted a healthy body, you'd focus on eating healthy, all-natural foods and exercising; if you want a healthy 'stache, focus on healthy money habits and exercising your long-term focus and tolerance for hassle.

AdrianM

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 158
  • Location: Queensland , AUS
Re: How do you light the fire under your ass?
« Reply #6 on: September 26, 2012, 12:06:08 AM »
I will start by saying. You will need to find what works for you.

My way was to find my motivators and then live deliberately.
Check out this family for more info on living deliberately http://www.discovershareinspire.com/

My motivators are (in NO order of priority)
1. Financial Freedom
2. Family
3. Fishing
4. Health
5. Travel

The other day I was doing the grocery shopping and passed the flavoured milk (A favored poison) and thought "hmmm the coffee one would be good followed by NO it won't, how can you expect to be healthy and wealthy if I drink that rubbish. So I banished the thought and carried on shopping.

My most Un Mustachian possession is a fishing boat. When I was searching for it I wanted to spend $30k and get a flash boat. But when I put it up against my goals, sure it met the fishing motivator but ran contra to the FF motivator, So with a bit of Hedonic adaptation http://www.mrmoneymustache.com/2011/10/22/what-is-hedonic-adaptation-and-how-can-it-turn-you-into-a-sukka/ I bought a second hand boat for $12k. The fishing is just as good as the $30k boat but it is made all the more sweeter by knowing that I am closer to FF than I would have been if I had of bought the $30k boat.

As a side note when it comes to FF I don't look at net worth, I look at cash flow from investments.

fidgiegirl

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1082
Re: How do you light the fire under your ass?
« Reply #7 on: September 26, 2012, 06:24:43 PM »
I like the 752 and 173 trick!  Thanks for the link, I'd missed that entry.

MsSindy

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 531
  • Age: 57
  • Location: Philly Burbs
Re: How do you light the fire under your ass?
« Reply #8 on: September 28, 2012, 07:24:17 PM »
How do you light the fire?  You have to decide you want X more than Y.  Life is really a bunch of trade-offs.  How do you motivate yourself to lose weight or to exercise (there's always temptation, you're tired, or any number of excuses) - you have to decide you want it bad enough.  Think about things that you've accomplished in your life (college, running a race, whatever), how did you motivate yourself to do it?  Are you internally or externally motivated?  Do you do better if someone other than yourself is holding you accountable?  Think about patterns in your life and apply them to FI motivation.

Someone else mentioned conscious living - I think that is the key until it becomes second nature to you.  If you find that you're making wrong choices (or choices that prevent you from FI), then do something that will constantly remind you of your goals.  Maybe it's putting positive visual reminders in obvious places (dressing mirror, car dash, fridge, wallet) until it becomes part of your natural being.  Another way to think about something that you want is that you can have it, just maybe not now.

In the beginning it may feel forced - you have to repeatedly make conscious decisions.  But then, over time is just becomes part of your habit and you lose the desire for impulse purchases, unnecessary eating out, etc. - it becomes "who you are".   You no longer have angst over purchases, you don't even give purchases a second thought because you're no longer an impulse purchaser.  It takes a while to change habits, so be patient and don't beat yourself up if you stray - just get right back to it.

HeidiO

  • Guest
Re: How do you light the fire under your ass?
« Reply #9 on: September 29, 2012, 02:26:09 PM »
Keep reading.  In time things that made no sense to you, will become obvious.  A year ago I would never have ridden my bike to work, now I am sad if I don't get to.  And my wife came home yesterday and suggested selling our second car - something I've been suggesting for about 10 years.  NEVER thought I would hear that.  We are also changing our cell phones plan to save money, probably getting VOIPo for home phone, and a huge list of changes in the works for the next couple months.  You don't have to do it all immediately.  The more you hear people talk about these things the more they make sense.
Heidi

happy

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 9293
  • Location: NSW Australia
Re: How do you light the fire under your ass?
« Reply #10 on: September 29, 2012, 06:33:38 PM »
 I so agree. Humans  seem to be "programmed" to fit in with those around them, and adopt like preferences and practices.... there's probably a fancy anthropological term for this.  In education we call it "modelling" and its a great way to learn without consciously trying too hard.  (there are disadvantages and limits, its just one way to learn which needs to be balanced by others in my view).  That's why hanging out with like minded people helps even if its just the internet. I am starting to notice changes in my everyday life now that are effortless...eg yesterday I had an excursion that could have involved 150km driving (cost approx $100) plus parking (?$30) OR catch a train ($20) and then a cab ($25) OR catch a train ($20)and walk ($0). I chose the train and the walk with no sense of difficulty or deprivation...the walk was a plus!

Secondly there's another phenomenon that helps... again not sure what its called, but its selective attention. If you have a Prius, when you drive, you notice a lot of other Prius ...Once you start living frugally you selectively notice other likeminded people/events/attitudes/options. Apparently about 25% of people practice some form of voluntary simplicity/ frugality. So the more you do it, the more normal it seems and the more resource you find to help you.