How did you escape the desire for luxury?

[LuxuryIsADrug]

Note: Canadian

I'm a consumer. It's the only thing I've ever known and done. Last year I made my first step to changing this by reading The Millionaire Next Door. Shortly thereafter, I was introduced to MMM's blog by a co-worker. Frugality comes to him naturally; luxury does not tempt him. Sadly, this meant he had no tips or helpful advice for escaping luxury's grasp.

I do have a plan in place for my debt and it is slowly dropping. Could I be more aggressive? I could but this is new territory for me. I've continually relapsed on reducing spending over the last 18 months so I decided to start using YNAB. Starting in January 2016 I have paid off $10,000 of $29,000 owed. My net worth now hover's around $0.

My main problems:

• I'm not treating my debt as an emergency
• I'm addicted to luxury

Recent luxuries mistakes:

• Flying business class for an upcoming vacation to visit a friend (3x cost of economy while I'm still in debt)
• Leasing a 2016 Subaru WRX Sport-Tech which is not at all Mustachian
• Eating out far too often ($200-$400/mth)
• Expensive alcohol (I've been eyeing the Glennfiddich Excellence 26 Year that recently arrived at the liquor store)
• Impulse buys; on YNAB I've been averaging $500/mth on things I did not budget for but I have made progress. Last month I only spent $100 that was not budgeted.
• I keep configuring a new Tesla, the buyers temptation is strong

Ways luxury has lost this year:

• I haven't bought a new phone ($600)
• I haven't bought a VR headset ($1200)
• I haven't bought a new TV ($2000)

There has been minor progress over the last 6 months but the largest task I need to accomplish is changing my mindset from luxury consumer to frugal minimalist which in turn would reduce spending to increase savings.

It's funny because I do the math and I understand it. I logically know my choices are financially stupid yet my addiction to luxury keeps winning.

Has anyone here broken the grasps of luxury and taken up MMM ideals? What finally clicked to change your mindset?

[syednaeemul]

I'm still not totally converted, but some of the things which helped me:

• When comparing a basic item vs luxury (e.g. hotel rooms) I think about how much I actually use the item. A hotel's real use may just be the safe and the bed, do the other facilities really matter?
• On impulse purchases, sleeping over it / remembering my debt (I have a little sticker with the number in my wallet) helps
• Picking your poison: simply withdrawing from all spending can result in huge deterioration of life, so try reduce your spending in particular areas and maintain others. For example, I've picked my poisons to be food, and computer games: I've also killed off coffee and clothing overspending

[okits]

Two things spring to mind.

1.  What's your goal and how badly do you want it?  Whatever it is, you're going to have to want it more than you want a non-essential purchase.  You may not feel urgency at the moment, but life is unpredictable and you don't want to run out of time to get financially ready for when you're desperately sick of your job, or it's time to start a family, or someone's health fails, or a great opportunity comes your way but you need financial security to take the risk.  I was always an okay saver so when each of those things occurred I was grateful for what financial foundation I did have from past frugality, but also realized how much more I could have done to be closer to my goal or to give myself even more options.

2.  Think of your purchases in terms other than the dollar figure.  Did your business class flight mean two extra weeks of your life spent in a cubicle?  Is that Glenfiddich a month's worth of groceries for your family (or a month's worth of food for a whole village in an impoverished country)?  It's important to feel the value of your money (what it could do for you or others, what it cost you personally to earn.)

You're making progress, which is great.  You could try for continuous improvement (every month, change something to be more frugal).  Or you could try to shock your system (go extreme-Mustache for a month or two), and see if the dramatic progress from that time really motivates you to keep the big changes you've made or if you realize you didn't really miss the luxuries all that much.  (And even if you can't keep it up, you've made huge strides in that time that have really advanced your position.  Anyone can delay enjoyment for a little while, if you know in a month or two you'll get what you're craving.)

[former player]

Probably no help to you: I grew up poor.  By the time I had money for more than small and occasional luxuries I was in my late 20s and it didn't really take.  Which is not to say that I was optimised on mustachianism, or am now.

Habit can be great, but changing habits takes time.  You are still in your first year or so of changing to mustachianism so the new habits are still forming.  Give yourself a pat on the back for what you have achieved, and carry on working at it, bit by bit.

[Yaeger]

Same, I grew up poor and ever since I've graduated from college I've tried keeping my expenses at the same level as my first career salary. No fancy purchases, no nice apartments, I live like I'm in my early 20's still. I started out after college between 50-60k a year, making the TSP max and putting some extra into savings. Whenever I get a promotion, or a raise higher than inflation, 100% of it goes into savings on top of what I've already been saving. Also, I actively tweak my budget to analyze my spending habits, bills, and other means to save money. It's become both a hobby and a financial education finding creative ways to free up money. It's a little gift to myself, recently I switched to Project Fi from Verizon and I supplement my entertainment fund with the savings.

Bonuses or tax returns I usually plan in advance towards something specific like bulking up my emergency fund, purchasing some investments, doing some vehicle work, getting a Rolex, purchasing gifts for someone else, or buying something like an AR-15. That's where I struggle with a desire of luxury.

[Bucksandreds]

The big one to me is not flying coach while in debt.  You should be flying coach and better yet flying coach with sign up bonus points from a credit card.  I pay like $11.40 every time I fly (1-2 times per year.)  That's for the 911 security fee.  I drink $60 per bottle Scotch. Maybe 2 bottles worth per year. Sometimes leasing a car is not a terrible option. The WRX starts at about $27,000 which depending on your income, might not be terrible. You cant afford a Tesla right now so forget it.  You don't have to forgo luxury, entirely.  You have to extract maximum value out of every $.  Flying in general is luxury, with certainty. Coach or Business.  Scotch is luxury. Leasing a car is luxury.  All those can be done and still mustachian.  Business class seat purchases and Teslas (current models available) cannot. IMHO eating out (1-2 times per week) is not unmustachian. We coupon and mostly avoid full service (tipping restaurants.) I can often feed dinner for 3 for around $15 and Im not talking Mcdonalds.  Im talking Chipotle (often times have BOGO or even free coupons), Panera, Greek, Piada (local chain Italian).  Now going to $20-30 per entrée full service restaurants needs to be a rarity for all but the rich.

[Bucksandreds]

Same, I grew up poor and ever since I've graduated from college I've tried keeping my expenses at the same level as my first career salary. No fancy purchases, no nice apartments, I live like I'm in my early 20's still. I started out after college between 50-60k a year, making the TSP max and putting some extra into savings. Whenever I get a promotion, or a raise higher than inflation, 100% of it goes into savings on top of what I've already been saving. Also, I actively tweak my budget to analyze my spending habits, bills, and other means to save money. It's become both a hobby and a financial education finding creative ways to free up money. It's a little gift to myself, recently I switched to Project Fi from Verizon and I supplement my entertainment fund with the savings.

Bonuses or tax returns I usually plan in advance towards something specific like bulking up my emergency fund, purchasing some investments, doing some vehicle work, getting a Rolex, purchasing gifts for someone else, or buying something like an AR-15. That's where I struggle with a desire of luxury.

Yaeger, I would have never guessed that you're the Rolex type! You seem a little too no nonsense for that.  I'm not hating though.  I like natural stone in my house (kitchen and baths) and have blown thousands on that which is about the same level of unmastachianess as a Rolex.

[LuxuryIsADrug]

The big one to me is not flying coach while in debt.  You should be flying coach and better yet flying coach with sign up bonus points from a credit card.  I pay like $11.40 every time I fly (1-2 times per year.)  That's for the 911 security fee.  I drink $60 per bottle Scotch. Maybe 2 bottles worth per year. Sometimes leasing a car is not a terrible option. The WRX starts at about $27,000 which depending on your income, might not be terrible. You cant afford a Tesla right now so forget it.  You don't have to forgo luxury, entirely.  You have to extract maximum value out of every $.  Flying in general is luxury, with certainty. Coach or Business.  Scotch is luxury. Leasing a car is luxury.  All those can be done and still mustachian.  Business class seat purchases and Teslas (current models available) cannot. IMHO eating out (1-2 times per week) is not unmustachian. We coupon and mostly avoid full service (tipping restaurants.) I can often feed dinner for 3 for around $15 and Im not talking Mcdonalds.  Im talking Chipotle (often times have BOGO or even free coupons), Panera, Greek, Piada (local chain Italian).  Now going to $20-30 per entrée full service restaurants needs to be a rarity for all but the rich.

Yeah, I went back and forth on the flight purchase. It's international and ~16 hours over night. I figured it's a very rare trip and since my friend is allowing me to stay at his home for 2 weeks I won't incur and hotel fees. With business class I'll be able to sleep lying down in a pod and be ready to explore when I leave the airport. I do realize it's an extravagant expense. (See all this justifying I do haha? Terrible)

Sadly, Canada is not so good for flying with points. I'm churning Amex at the moment for vacation next year but flying is generally expensive in Canada. I'll be using the points for international flights where I get better bang for pts.

Eating out in the States is so cheap haha. Just grabbing a fast food meal will run me $15 in Canada. An average sit down restaurant I expect to hit $40 - $50.

The WRX will cost me $40,000 if I decide to buy out the lease in 2018 (in cash). Those Canadian prices eh? The Tesla only works on paper and the emotional side takes over ignoring the opportunity costs of throwing $90,000 down the drain over 5 years. Spend $20,000 in 2018 and have a reliable car that suits the climate here or spend $90,000? I've crunched all the numbers and even after 10 years of ownership the Tesla doesn't win. It's not a practical purchase no matter which angle I look at it.

[kite]

Get older.  That makes it comparatively easy.
There's a point along the aging spectrum where you progress to the point of a) not giving a fuck what people think and b) the inconvenience of acquiring/owning/maintaining far exceeds the enjoyment you would have gotten to the point that you regularly forgo things you could very well afford. 
The older you get, the more you think in terms of actually being old and what the consequences will be then for decisions you make now.  Your future health, relationships, savings, reputation & community are all going to be influenced by things your present self decides.  Thru that lens, the fancy booze costs many times more than the price on the bottle.  The car becomes just some thing to finance, store & maintain all to impress complete strangers when you're stopped in traffic. 
Like many commenters, I grew up poor.  But a few of my poor siblings and inlaws came away from impoverished childhoods with a hoarder/shopping compulsion.  What I did differently was spend a lot of time with old people.  A lot.  I set foot in any store, and it all looks like landfill to me.  It's just like the stuff that old Mrs. S, Great Aunt H, and E.T. each needed cleaned out of their big houses.  Stuff that was highly desired and prized that was purchased, stored, displayed, dusted, broken, repaired, fretted over, ruined in a flood, fought over in a will or divorce. Eventually it all came to the same end. It's just stuff making its way to the landfill.
Along those lines, Your Money or Your Life had a bigger impact on me than any other personal finance book. 

[Fishindude]

You need to find some new friends that aren't so materialistic.   Some of this stuff is just plain stupid, seems like you are trying to impress somebody?

Flying first class for $1500 vs $500 = dumb.  Did you get there any safer, quicker?
Leasing a car = dumb.  If you're going to make payments, may as well own it eventually.

Have you looked at the price of 26 year Glennfiddich?   $540 !!!   
You ought to be slapped for even considering that.   Plenty of good scotch out there for under $50 that will get you just as drunk & happy.

Impulse spending, generally means you have too much time on your hands or are bored, so you shop.   A Tesla?   Not till you are free and clear and can pay cash for it.
A VR headset is a "toy".   If you have excess cash, you can buy toys.   You can get one hell of a nice TV for a whole lot less than $2000.

Nothing wrong with eating out some, as long as it's not putting you in debt.  Consider taking up cooking out and entertaining at home w/ friends.
I can feed four friends NY strips and the whole works with beers and drinks for what it costs two of us to go out to BW=3's for an evening.

Most of us use the heck out of our phones, but if your current phone is any type of an iphone, there's no point in blowing $600 for a new one until it becomes a problem.

You need to run with a different crowd, or you're going to have a hard time changing these behaviors.

[nereo]

similar to what okits said - every time I think of buying something I ask myself the following questions
1) do i need it
2) will it make me happier
3) how many hours/days of work does this cost me
4) what's the impact to the planet and to my health?
5) is there a similar but cheaper alternative?

that might sound like a lot to ask yourself with every purchase, but my mind now automatically goes through the list in about one second, and most of the time I conclude that I don't need to buy the item in front of me, whether it's a $4 cinnamon roll or a $40k new car.
Ultimately every purchase is trading the time I spent working for the item or service being provided.

[Bucksandreds]

The big one to me is not flying coach while in debt.  You should be flying coach and better yet flying coach with sign up bonus points from a credit card.  I pay like $11.40 every time I fly (1-2 times per year.)  That's for the 911 security fee.  I drink $60 per bottle Scotch. Maybe 2 bottles worth per year. Sometimes leasing a car is not a terrible option. The WRX starts at about $27,000 which depending on your income, might not be terrible. You cant afford a Tesla right now so forget it.  You don't have to forgo luxury, entirely.  You have to extract maximum value out of every $.  Flying in general is luxury, with certainty. Coach or Business.  Scotch is luxury. Leasing a car is luxury.  All those can be done and still mustachian.  Business class seat purchases and Teslas (current models available) cannot. IMHO eating out (1-2 times per week) is not unmustachian. We coupon and mostly avoid full service (tipping restaurants.) I can often feed dinner for 3 for around $15 and Im not talking Mcdonalds.  Im talking Chipotle (often times have BOGO or even free coupons), Panera, Greek, Piada (local chain Italian).  Now going to $20-30 per entrée full service restaurants needs to be a rarity for all but the rich.

Yeah, I went back and forth on the flight purchase. It's international and ~16 hours over night. I figured it's a very rare trip and since my friend is allowing me to stay at his home for 2 weeks I won't incur and hotel fees. With business class I'll be able to sleep lying down in a pod and be ready to explore when I leave the airport. I do realize it's an extravagant expense. (See all this justifying I do haha? Terrible)

Sadly, Canada is not so good for flying with points. I'm churning Amex at the moment for vacation next year but flying is generally expensive in Canada. I'll be using the points for international flights where I get better bang for pts.

Eating out in the States is so cheap haha. Just grabbing a fast food meal will run me $15 in Canada. An average sit down restaurant I expect to hit $40 - $50.

The WRX will cost me $40,000 if I decide to buy out the lease in 2018 (in cash). Those Canadian prices eh? The Tesla only works on paper and the emotional side takes over ignoring the opportunity costs of throwing $90,000 down the drain over 5 years. Spend $20,000 in 2018 and have a reliable car that suits the climate here or spend $90,000? I've crunched all the numbers and even after 10 years of ownership the Tesla doesn't win. It's not a practical purchase no matter which angle I look at it.

Still no reasonable excuse for Business class. Buy out the Subaru if you like it.  Eat out once or twice a week.  I googled a Chipotle in Toronto and a burrito is $8.95 which is $1-2 dollars more than one in Ohio.  You can afford to eat out 1-2 times per week and still spend $100 or so in a month compared to $200-$400.  If you cant change your mindset to one where you squeeze your dollars to get maximum value out of them then you stand no chance to become mustachean.  I like a Panera salad with chicken for $8 as much as I like a salad at a fancy restaurant that costs $20-$30 after tax and tip.  If you don't come to this same conclusion it's possible that your mentality just isn't one for FIREing.  It's also possible that there is some ingrained psychological issue that pushes you toward 'wasteful' spending.  That is not a judgement of people with psychological issues.  I suffer from generalized anxiety disorder.  It is just an observation.

[LouLou]

Here are my strategies:

• Compare the relative benefits of the luxury version to the non-luxury version.  if the used version on craigslist is $60 and the new version is $600, if getting it new really 10x better?
• Think about the luxury item and it's real impact on my life. Is this really something I will use or will make me noticeably happier for an extended period of time?
• Think about it in terms of life spent working. How many hours do I have to bill/work to pay for this?  (For a car, make sure you account for insurance, maintenance, gas, road assistance)  Am I prepared to dedicate that much of my life to this one object, to the exclusion of vacations, financial freedom, other purchases?
• Sleep on it and see if I even still want it two weeks later.

This stops most luxury purchases, but every once in a while the purchase makes it through.  The ultimate result is that I purchase things/experiences that are really worth it to me, while saving tons of money on everything else. 

For example: I could have purchased a smaller home, but the size of the home that I actually purchased has greatly improved my life (some renovations made it multi-generational home, and everyone has their own living space).  But, according to the bank, I could have gotten a house that was twice as expensive and much more impressive looking.  The bigger house would be more expensive to maintain, to heat and cool, to furnish, to pay taxes on, etc without materially improving our lives.  Our lives would actually be worse because we would dedicate more time and money to its existence.

Another example: I love Prince.  I bought really great tickets to a Prince concert in another city when I was still a broke student.  It was an amazing experience, and I was even more grateful for going when he suddenly died.  But, I rented someone's room on Airbnb instead of getting a hotel (sharing a queen bed with the person I went with) and traveled cheap (drove instead of flew).  A hotel and a plane flight would have made the event much more expensive, without adding to experience that made it so great.

[ooeei]

Yeah, I went back and forth on the flight purchase. It's international and ~16 hours over night. I figured it's a very rare trip and since my friend is allowing me to stay at his home for 2 weeks I won't incur and hotel fees. With business class I'll be able to sleep lying down in a pod and be ready to explore when I leave the airport. I do realize it's an extravagant expense. (See all this justifying I do haha? Terrible)

This is something I see happen in dieting/exercise as well.  We all know someone who works really hard at the gym, then goes and eats a large pizza as a "reward" because of all the calories they burned.  The problem is, they never lose any weight because the "reward" undoes all of their hard work and keeps them at the same weight as when they didn't work out and didn't eat the pizza.  Their "reward" should be losing weight! Unfortunately most people don't consider long term things good enough rewards, and therefore go for the short term stuff that hurts their long term goals.

It's great that you saved money by staying with a friend, unfortunately you decided that meant you should spend the money on a plane ticket you normally wouldn't have.  You spent probably the same money you would have on the trip with a normal flight and a hotel (or possibly more).  Focus on the savings as the reward.  Whenever you decide to save money somehow that you'd normally spend, transfer that money to your investment account and buy stocks right then.  That allows you to "buy something" and get that reward, while helping you save. 

Another problem is thinking of money you didn't spend as "savings."  I can "not spend" $50,000 this month by not buying all sorts of stuff, that's not the same as saving $50,000.  Only the money you actually transfer to savings counts as being saved, don't forget that.  I can "save" $50,000 this month by not buying a new car, but if I spend all of my salary on small stuff I still didn't save anything even though it feels like I saved a lot.  Don't fall into the trap of thinking of yourself as doing good just because of what you don't buy.  Feel good about what you invest! 

As for the $500 scotch.  I would be absolutely shocked if you could pick it out in a blind taste test. 

[Drifterrider]

Habits are hard to break.  Keep trying.

$540 for hootch?   Really?  Well, if you earn $1M per year you might justify that.  I did spend $100 for a bottle of Jameson but it was a once in a life time event.  After two drinks I can't tell the difference between that and the standard at $20.

Business class.  If I had the money I might do it for a flight of that length.  Certainly not for short trips.

Do you buy expensive things because you think expensive equates to better quality?  I have a friend that does.  No one can convince him otherwise so I no longer try.  His life, his money.

Some of us started at and early age (I learned compound interest at age 7) and some have to work their way into it.

Step 1.  Recognize the problem
Step 2.  Work on it every day.  If you blow it today, start afresh tomorrow.

[TheStachery]

i'm not sure how old the OP is, but the thing he's missing is opportunity cost.  That extra money spent now is huge money lost later.  If it helps any, i look at people like you, flying business class, buying stupid VR sets, newest phones, and think man they are stupid, and probably broke / in debt too.  I bet i'm right at least 75% of the time, and it always make me feel better.  Someone may look at me when I pass thru the business cabin back to coach, and think I'm a peasant, but I bet I have more money than they do.  Save the luxury for later in life.  If you spoil yourself with luxury, you are just upping the ante in the future.  (business class isn't good enough anymore, I need a first class sleeper)

stop buying things you can't afford, with money that they don't have... to impress people that you don't like

[TravelJunkyQC]

3) how many hours/days of work does this cost me

This is the biggest one for me - how many hours do I have to work TODAY for it and how much money will this equate in 20 years (both in terms of compound interest I would be losing, and debt I would be keeping, by purchasing said item). By thinking of purchases in these terms, I find it easier to spend according to my values. There are some thing that I spend more money on than most people would (camping/climbing gear). But I am 100% willing to work another month in my life if it means having a harness that I can sit in 8 hours a day for a week on a rock wall. Priorities are different for everyone, but knowing what you are giving up to have an item or an experience should help align your spending with your priorities.

[pbkmaine]

I just learned to define luxury differently. Luxury is having the time to make a gorgeous meal rather than eating it out. It is having so much money that I never have to work again. It is feeling well cared for, because I eat well and take care of my body.

I used to get thrills buying expensive things. Now I get thrills from acquiring high quality things inexpensively. The down pillows on my sofa came from Goodwill and cost $2.00. I covered them with expensive fabric I bought as remnants. The lovely box that holds my sewing was a discard on the side of the road. Many of the plants on my garden came from seeds or from friends' gardens.

I have also found that being frugal has made me much more creative, something I really enjoy. Do I really need to buy scented bath salts when I can make them myself in 10 seconds from epsom salts and essential oil? Do I need to buy songs on iTunes for .99 when I can buy entire music CDs for $1.00 at garage sales, rip them to my computer, and create my own playlists?

Patience is another quality to foster in yourself if you want something. I like unusual cars. But when we moved to Florida, we brought only my husband's Ford Escape, one of the most boring cars ever made. We lived with one car for almost two years. When we decided to get a second car, I looked for highly rated used car dealerships and found one. Then I looked for weird cars on its website. I found a 2013 Smart car with 27,000 miles on it for $6,000. It had been serviced only at Mercedes and was in perfect shape. It now sits in our driveway.

Cultivating a sense of gratitude was key for me. I am sitting here right now in a nice house we paid cash for. It is not tiny, but it is small enough that we can clean it ourselves. I live in a nice place, where I look out at palm trees. I will go for a swim in the pool later. I am grateful for this life, and it was made possible by flying business class only when I had the miles to do so, by buying nice cars used for cash, by learning how to make restaurant-quality meals at home, and by buying technology when the next generation comes out, and the price of the current generation drops precipitously.

[Torran]

Lol well I'm scared off flying (although I still do it). Came to the conclusion that I would be just as scared if I was in fancy class as I am in economy :p

So you could try that.

But more seriously, I think you're already on the right track by noticing and questioning what you're doing. So many people never even do that.

[Torran]

I just learned to define luxury differently. Luxury is having the time to make a gorgeous meal rather than eating it out. It is having so much money that I never have to work again. It is feeling well cared for, because I eat well and take care of my body.

I used to get thrills buying expensive things. Now I get thrills from acquiring high quality things inexpensively. The down pillows on my sofa came from Goodwill and cost $2.00. I covered them with expensive fabric I bought as remnants. The lovely box that holds my sewing was a discard on the side of the road. Many of the plants on my garden came from seeds or from friends' gardens.

I have also found that being frugal has made me much more creative, something I really enjoy. Do I really need to buy scented bath salts when I can make them myself in 10 seconds from epsom salts and essential oil? Do I need to buy songs on iTunes for .99 when I can buy entire music CDs for $1.00 at garage sales, rip them to my computer, and create my own playlists?

Patience is another quality to foster in yourself if you want something. I like unusual cars. But when we moved to Florida, we brought only my husband's Ford Escape, one of the most boring cars ever made. We lived with one car for almost two years. When we decided to get a second car, I looked for highly rated used car dealerships and found one. Then I looked for weird cars on its website. I found a 2013 Smart car with 27,000 miles on it for $6,000. It had been serviced only at Mercedes and was in perfect shape. It now sits in our driveway.

Cultivating a sense of gratitude was key for me. I am sitting here right now in a nice house we paid cash for. It is not tiny, but it is small enough that we can clean it ourselves. I live in a nice place, where I look out at palm trees. I will go for a swim in the pool later. I am grateful for this life, and it was made possible by flying business class only when I had the miles to do so, by buying nice cars used for cash, by learning how to make restaurant-quality meals at home, and by buying technology when the next generation comes out, and the price of the current generation drops precipitously.

This, all of this.

[KMB]

Personally I ask myself if I'd be happier with the purchase or the money and the freedom the money would provide. Slowly I've come to realize that there is almost no new possession that will actually make me happier.

Regarding your business class flight: It sounds worth it to me. 16 hours in coach could ruin your entire trip.

Ways luxury has lost this year:

• I haven't bought a new phone ($600)
• I haven't bought a VR headset ($1200)
• I haven't bought a new TV ($2000)

Traditionally when someone here wants to buy something the advise is to wait on the purchase for 30 days. If you still want it, buy it. Sounds like you've been holding off on some of this stuff for a while and you haven't let it go. If things things would improve your life, you should buy them. But get out of debt first!

Also WRT the booze, learn to avoid connoisseurship. It is a surefire way to make yourself less happy. Instead of enjoying scotch, getting a little buzz and being happy about it you'll be thinking about how much better a different version would be and how what you're drinking is inferior. Do you want to have a well refined palate, or be happy and have more money? If you're here already it should be an easy choice.

[crispy]

I just learned to define luxury differently. Luxury is having the time to make a gorgeous meal rather than eating it out. It is having so much money that I never have to work again. It is feeling well cared for, because I eat well and take care of my body.

I used to get thrills buying expensive things. Now I get thrills from acquiring high quality things inexpensively. The down pillows on my sofa came from Goodwill and cost $2.00. I covered them with expensive fabric I bought as remnants. The lovely box that holds my sewing was a discard on the side of the road. Many of the plants on my garden came from seeds or from friends' gardens.

I have also found that being frugal has made me much more creative, something I really enjoy. Do I really need to buy scented bath salts when I can make them myself in 10 seconds from epsom salts and essential oil? Do I need to buy songs on iTunes for .99 when I can buy entire music CDs for $1.00 at garage sales, rip them to my computer, and create my own playlists?

Patience is another quality to foster in yourself if you want something. I like unusual cars. But when we moved to Florida, we brought only my husband's Ford Escape, one of the most boring cars ever made. We lived with one car for almost two years. When we decided to get a second car, I looked for highly rated used car dealerships and found one. Then I looked for weird cars on its website. I found a 2013 Smart car with 27,000 miles on it for $6,000. It had been serviced only at Mercedes and was in perfect shape. It now sits in our driveway.

Cultivating a sense of gratitude was key for me. I am sitting here right now in a nice house we paid cash for. It is not tiny, but it is small enough that we can clean it ourselves. I live in a nice place, where I look out at palm trees. I will go for a swim in the pool later. I am grateful for this life, and it was made possible by flying business class only when I had the miles to do so, by buying nice cars used for cash, by learning how to make restaurant-quality meals at home, and by buying technology when the next generation comes out, and the price of the current generation drops precipitously.

I was trying to formulate a reply, but I am going to just agree with your post because you said it much more eloquently than I could have. I especially agree with the bolded.  Being creative is one of the biggest benefits of being frugal for me.  I love putting together a nice home and wardrobe from used items that I have re-purposed or bought used.  It inspires me in a way that shopping doesn't.

[cheapass]

The way I escape luxury is that I absolutely hate the idea of having my solvency depend on an employer. I want financial security for my family so that we never have to worry about having food on the table or a roof over our heads.

That, and I can't fucking stand working in a cubicle as a corporate drone. No way I'm doing it for 35+ years.

Your money can buy a lot of things, but the most valuable is your freedom.

[mamagoose]

I like to think of the price of something compared to how much preschool time the same $$ would get me. For example, preschool costs us about $250/month (part-time) and it is a HUGE benefit for our family, so when my friend mentions a new $500 designer purse, I think "well that would be 2 months of preschool, and I already have a purse that holds my things, so no." Comparing it to my hourly rate doesn't have the same affect since I'm a high earner (and other high earners in my range would "justify" a much higher COL and spending level).

[R62]

Read "Your Money or Your Life". 

And then:  read it again.

[Warlord1986]

I'm made of weakness. No matter what MMM says, I love luxury. I love crisp sheets, yummy food, and pretty clothes.

So I change my sheets and enjoy a good night's sleep. I'm less picky about hotels when I travel.

I learned a few yummy recipes and then invite my friends over for food so I can hear their chants of praise. I still slip up when I'm feeling down or rushed, but I cut down on eating out a lot.

I found my local consignment shop. I still slip up on clothes occasionally, but it's nowhere near what I was spending.

But the biggest change I made was realizing there are people who don't have clean water to drink, or food to eat, or clothes without holes. Compared to a huge percentage of the world, I live a life of obscene luxury. I recognize that I'm flawed and that I screw up, financially and otherwise, but I also recognize that I have the power to fix my mistakes and do better.

It's brought a lot of peace to my life, actually.

[2Birds1Stone]

I grew up lower class till my teenage years where we ended up in lower middle class until I was in college.

I now find myself fortunate to be in the top 3% of income earners in my age bracket (26-35), and while there certainly has been a *bit* of lifestyle creep (used sports luxury car, nicer clothes, more meals out, more generous with gifts/treating friends and family, etc) I have been able to avoid the big pitfalls that many feel entitled to with a higher income/net worth.

Haven't had cable/TV in 7 years (Netflix exclusively)
My cell phone is 3 years old.
My Macbook Pro is 6 years old.
I drove a 12 year old car worth $2-3k for the past 5 years until I purchased my current vehicle.
I live in an apartment that costs my SO and I just 7% of our gross income (all inclusive).
I travel hack for free hotel stays/vacations
Use Groupon a LOT to enjoy fine dining at a 50-60% discount
Host a lot of potlucks/bbq's with BYOB to enjoy family/friends company at a minimal cost.
Buy high quality goods and take care of/repair them instead of replacing frequently
Enjoy a TON of low cost/free activities that keep me active....mountain biking, cycling, swimming, hiking, camping, rafting/kayaking, cooking, weightlifting, fishing etc

[2Cent]

Take a holiday living with some real poor people in a third world country. Once you see people struggling to buy basic items, it is hard to overspend on crap and not feel ashamed you just spend more than someone's yearly food budget to have some extra leg room in the plane for a few hours.

Or turn it around, would you sit in a less comfortable seat if someone offered you $1000 or whatever the extra charge is.

[Iron Mike Sharpe]

Get rid of advertising.

Cancel cable/satellite, don't listen to commercial radio, get rid of magazines/newspapers with advertisements, install ad blockers on your internet browsers, etc.

[ReadySetMillionaire]

Yeah, I went back and forth on the flight purchase. It's international and ~16 hours over night. I figured it's a very rare trip and since my friend is allowing me to stay at his home for 2 weeks I won't incur and hotel fees. With business class I'll be able to sleep lying down in a pod and be ready to explore when I leave the airport. I do realize it's an extravagant expense. (See all this justifying I do haha? Terrible)

This is something I see happen in dieting/exercise as well.  We all know someone who works really hard at the gym, then goes and eats a large pizza as a "reward" because of all the calories they burned.  The problem is, they never lose any weight because the "reward" undoes all of their hard work and keeps them at the same weight as when they didn't work out and didn't eat the pizza.  Their "reward" should be losing weight! Unfortunately most people don't consider long term things good enough rewards, and therefore go for the short term stuff that hurts their long term goals.

It's great that you saved money by staying with a friend, unfortunately you decided that meant you should spend the money on a plane ticket you normally wouldn't have.  You spent probably the same money you would have on the trip with a normal flight and a hotel (or possibly more).  Focus on the savings as the reward.  Whenever you decide to save money somehow that you'd normally spend, transfer that money to your investment account and buy stocks right then.  That allows you to "buy something" and get that reward, while helping you save. 

Another problem is thinking of money you didn't spend as "savings."  I can "not spend" $50,000 this month by not buying all sorts of stuff, that's not the same as saving $50,000.  Only the money you actually transfer to savings counts as being saved, don't forget that.  I can "save" $50,000 this month by not buying a new car, but if I spend all of my salary on small stuff I still didn't save anything even though it feels like I saved a lot.  Don't fall into the trap of thinking of yourself as doing good just because of what you don't buy.  Feel good about what you invest! 

As for the $500 scotch.  I would be absolutely shocked if you could pick it out in a blind taste test.

This is a very good post, and I encourage OP to read it twice.

I recently had a cookout at my dad's house. My brother and his fiance were there and, to summarize, their income is so low and their expenses/debt are so high that they have texted me asking for $4.00 to buy butter and pasta at the grocery store.

And would you look at that--the fiance shows up with an Apple Watch. I asked, "Oh, can I see that, is that the real deal Apple Watch?" And sure enough I got some lecture about how it was $249 (retail is $299), so they "saved" $50.

Hopefully you see how dumb that logic is.

And hopefully you realize you are applying the exact same logic with your own bad purchases.

To answer your post, OP, one thing I have done is committing to writing down every single purchase. It dramatically reduces my dumb and impulsive spending.

The other thing is to talk your rationalizations out loud or with someone. You yourself just caught yourself in the process of making a stupid rationale--surely you were aware that it was dumb logic at the time you made the purchase. Thus, you already have the smarts to know when you're making a dumb purchase--now just trust your gut.

[Cranky]

I agree that the key is to "redefine luxury".

My life is luxurious - I drank a cup of delicious coffee this morning. (Grocery store beans, dripped, in a cute mug that I bought for a quarter at the thrift store.)

I had a delicious breakfast of yogurt (aldi's), raspberries (front yard), and sour dough bread (farmers' market.)

I took a walk - it's a beautiful day.

Now I'm sitting in my nice cool house (a/c set at 78 degrees, fan blowing.)

I'm going to have some homemade iced tea, and read a library book, and knit a baby hat.

What I'm not doing is going to the store or thinking about expensive stuff I don't have.  Our society and economy are built around making us want more stuff, better stuff, stuff that will validate us and make us special. Only, it never will. You've gotta step off that wheel. Stepping off it can be hard, and it's a process, and I think you've got to consciously work at it, especially at the beginning.

Lock up your credit cards. Have your savings automatically deducted. Find some frugal friends, and take up some cheap activities.

[Digital Dogma]

I set foot in any store, and it all looks like landfill to me.  It's just like the stuff that old Mrs. S, Great Aunt H, and E.T. each needed cleaned out of their big houses.  Stuff that was highly desired and prized that was purchased, stored, displayed, dusted, broken, repaired, fretted over, ruined in a flood, fought over in a will or divorce. Eventually it all came to the same end. It's just stuff making its way to the landfill.

I like this, think of all the crap your loved ones will clean out of your place and/or fight over after you die and it makes luxuries seem frivolous.

[undercover]

"Necessity" is a funny word anyway. One's own survival is not necessary. Once you view it that way, pretty much everything we do is unnecessary, thus none of it really matters. Maybe I'm going to deep here. Point is, do what makes you happy with what resources you're given. I consider the opposite of necessity to be luxury, yet nothing is truly necessary, so therefore nothing could truly be luxurious.

[golden1]

I hear you.  I still haven't quite lost the desire to buy things that I know aren't really necessary, although I've made progress.  I covet the nicer homes in my town even though it would keep me working until age 65-70 vs. age 50-55 which is my target right now.  I covet luxury travel.  I have a terrible gadget habit that I can't quite shake.  I love eating out and loathe cooking.

I think the best way, but that hardest, is to change who you spend time with.  I honestly think that if I really wanted to make more abrupt changes in my lifestyle, it would require me removing myself from temptation entirely by moving and surrounding myself with like minded people.  The DIY aspect of this lifestyle is easier and more practical when you have a wide variety of people to draw knowledge, and borrow tools from.  In some ways breaking yourself from materialism and luxury is like breaking an addiction, and many addicts end up having to change their peer groups or else get dragged back into the lifestyle. 

I wonder if you could find a group of people in your area in the local forums here?

[Kitsune]

I just learned to define luxury differently. Luxury is having the time to make a gorgeous meal rather than eating it out. It is having so much money that I never have to work again. It is feeling well cared for, because I eat well and take care of my body.

I used to get thrills buying expensive things. Now I get thrills from acquiring high quality things inexpensively. The down pillows on my sofa came from Goodwill and cost $2.00. I covered them with expensive fabric I bought as remnants. The lovely box that holds my sewing was a discard on the side of the road. Many of the plants on my garden came from seeds or from friends' gardens.

I have also found that being frugal has made me much more creative, something I really enjoy. Do I really need to buy scented bath salts when I can make them myself in 10 seconds from epsom salts and essential oil? Do I need to buy songs on iTunes for .99 when I can buy entire music CDs for $1.00 at garage sales, rip them to my computer, and create my own playlists?

Patience is another quality to foster in yourself if you want something. I like unusual cars. But when we moved to Florida, we brought only my husband's Ford Escape, one of the most boring cars ever made. We lived with one car for almost two years. When we decided to get a second car, I looked for highly rated used car dealerships and found one. Then I looked for weird cars on its website. I found a 2013 Smart car with 27,000 miles on it for $6,000. It had been serviced only at Mercedes and was in perfect shape. It now sits in our driveway.

Cultivating a sense of gratitude was key for me. I am sitting here right now in a nice house we paid cash for. It is not tiny, but it is small enough that we can clean it ourselves. I live in a nice place, where I look out at palm trees. I will go for a swim in the pool later. I am grateful for this life, and it was made possible by flying business class only when I had the miles to do so, by buying nice cars used for cash, by learning how to make restaurant-quality meals at home, and by buying technology when the next generation comes out, and the price of the current generation drops precipitously.

This, all of this.

Exactly.

I care about living in a nice house, the feel of good fabric on my skin, hot baths, good food and wine, and good books to read.

So... We built our house to our specifications, and furnish it with antiques off of kijiji and craigslist. I just sewed a floor-length linen dress, and we have crisp white sheets that get changed regularly. Beeswax candles, lavender bath salts, fresh towels, good seasonal produce and a glass of wine... ALL those things make me very happy. None of them need to be expensive.

[AnEDO]

My advice is to go shopping.  For assets.  You will feel an endorphin rush every time you buy shares.  Every dividend you receive will be met with delight.  Having others toil away at the companies you own shares in for your benefit is a true luxury. 

[Dollar Slice]

Is your remaining debt credit card debt? How much interest are you paying? Think about it this way: Every dollar you spend right now instead of paying off debt, you are paying that much interest on it. You are essentially borrowing the money to pay for that business class flight or spend hundreds of dollars on restaurants. Your net worth is ZERO. You have NOTHING. Make your spending decisions based on that. Do you want to go out to dinner badly enough that you would ask someone if you could borrow $50 to do it? That's what you're doing, essentially.

I think the best way, but that hardest, is to change who you spend time with.  I honestly think that if I really wanted to make more abrupt changes in my lifestyle, it would require me removing myself from temptation entirely by moving and surrounding myself with like minded people.

I don't think you necessarily have to completely remove yourself from all the spendy friends you have now, but it certainly helps to spend time with people who have/spend a lot less. People who don't encourage you to buy the $2000 TV, people who don't have a $2000 TV, but rather people who have to try to hide how disgusted they are when you tell them how much it cost, because it's such an incredible waste. Or people who you simply can't tell them how much it cost because of how bad it would make them feel. For almost a third of American households, $2000 is as much or more than they bring home in a month. I have multiple friends who have been homeless and living in their cars at some point in the last five years. You can bet I don't do anything to flaunt my wealth where my friends can see it. I would feel like a complete asshole.

[MoneyCat]

I used to be addicted to luxury and I realized at some point that my desire for luxury was a symptom of my desperate desire for status, respect, and love. Once I realized that, I realized how empty luxury really was.

For example, when I was a kid, a friend's parents bought a brand new Lincoln Town Car which had all kinds of then-amazing features like heads-up display, dual zone climate control, leather upholstery, and power windows and locks. A few years later, when they traded in their car, it no longer looked or felt impressive and the features had become commonplace. My amazement at this car seemed so silly in retrospect. It was just a car and time moves on.

It's the same way with most luxury items. They fall out of fashion or become obsolete and the high you get from owning them dissipates really quickly. In a few years, all those folks buying fancy expensive Yeti cups are going to feel pretty silly when the fad goes out of style and they realize that Walmart's Ozark Trail cups are just as good (as demonstrated by multiple YouTube videos.)

Meanwhile, I have found new things to get excited about like green technology that lasts a long time, learning to repair electronics, cycling, and fun side-hustles. Life is too short to base your value on luxury.


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

[gggggg]

I think of my boss; he makes twice as much as me, and blows it all on fancy stuff; his accounts actually got frozen one time. I make half of what he does, and I'm quite sure my net worth is much higher than his. It feels good.

[Mrs. D.]

I've never been addicted to luxury, but I have had periods in my life when I enjoyed consumerism and acquiring things more. A few things that really helped me make the change toward Mustachianism:

1) My husband. Frugality and minimalism come easily for him. Once we joined finances, I began to think more critically about getting pedicures and buying new clothes because I would have to discuss those purchases with him. We each have a small monthly allowance for play money and I realized those minor luxuries weren't worth eating up my play money.

2) The simple mantra that my spending should reflect my values. I value my family so spending money to have dinner with them is consistent with that. I value my friends so sending a friend a gift certificate for her birthday is consistent with that. I value staying at home with my son so watching our grocery budget and cooking at home is consistent. Buying fancy clothes for myself just isn't consistent with my values or my goals.

3) An aha that I had in my 20's. It's stuff. You can't take it with you when you die. There's always more of it. There will always be something nicer. And it never, ever makes me happier. Maybe it makes other people happier. But what I've observed is that the itch that was satisfied with a $100 purse gets replaced with a $250 purse itch, and then a $500 purse itch, etc. Until you are eyeing a $2000 handbag that has the same functionality as a reusable shopping bag. (That example comes from my very un-mustachian sister).

You might also find it helpful to take one of these luxury purchases and calculate the potential of that money if you invested it over 10 years. I usually find that sum of money way more luxurious than any single ticket item.

You're being reflective and challenging yourself to change. That's great. Good luck and stay the course. It actually gets easier.

[Tyson]

Yeah, I went back and forth on the flight purchase. It's international and ~16 hours over night. I figured it's a very rare trip and since my friend is allowing me to stay at his home for 2 weeks I won't incur and hotel fees. With business class I'll be able to sleep lying down in a pod and be ready to explore when I leave the airport. I do realize it's an extravagant expense. (See all this justifying I do haha? Terrible)

More than anything else, this is the crux of your issue (and most people) - saving money in one area becomes a justification for spending more in another area.  This is exactly the point you MUST change.  Or you will never, ever be able to give up luxury spending. I know.  I still struggle with this issue myself. 

One thing that helps me is that I try to think of it as "gaming the system" rather than "cheaping out".  So if I can play things right, I get to do something awesome for super cheap.  That's way more rewarding to me than just spending money to have a nice time or get a nice thing.

I will also say this - getting out of debt and getting a bit of a cash cushion is an enormous psychological difference.  I went from perpetually saying "f!ck it I'm so behind I might as well just enjoy life" to "Oh, I have cash now, I don't really want to part with it...." and my need to buy things dropped massively after that. 

[Slee_stack]

Every person on the planet has a different definition (or view) of luxury.

As noted a couple times, you need to re-define your own in order to meet your financial goals.

I've changed mine several times myself.

Luxury can be 'simple' if you want it to.  It really is (or should be) about what brings you joy.

I no longer have interest in new cars (or any other kind of motorized vehicle).

I do still 'blow' money  at times though.  I own a very fancy MTB.  I could have bought one that was 1/3, maybe 1/4 of the price.

But mountain biking is a passion of mine which I usually get to enjoy multiple times every week .  The bike itself is a 'luxury', but one that brings me great satisfaction.  I love the heck out of what I can see and do when I'm riding it!  I love that I have less aches and pains after riding vs a simpler one I used to own.

The same can be said of certain beers and food we also buy.  We could spend less, but truly enjoy what we get back from the extra paid.

Its a game of opportunity cost.  A $40k car provides some amount of enjoyment, but is it $30k more of enjoyment than a $10k version?  Further, wht other things might you have done with the $30k?  Trips.  Eating out,  Retiring a couple years earlier?

Learn to love cheaper and simpler things.  Spend extra when you truly value the return.  Be happier.

[aceyou]

Know what you want your life to look like...it's easier to save when you paint the picture that shows you aren't sacrificing, but rather trading up for a much, much better life.

I'll give you an example.  My wife and I want to be able to retire when our youngest is going into her senior year of high school and our oldest is a junior in college.  We will be in our late 40's.  At that time, we want to be able to travel the world for months at a time.  We want to be able to pay for 50% of our two children's college tuition, have our house paid for, and own two electric vehicles that are powered by solar panels on our house.  I'll likely still coach tennis, and may do work as a financial planner if that sounds like my idea of a good time.  My wife has expressed that it could be fun to pursue a real estate license as a hobby, but again, only if it sounds fun, as we'll never need money again.  We want to be able to spend significant time with our adult children and their families when that stage of life arrives.  We will wake up when we want, sleep when we want, work out and make great food whenever we want.  It'll be a life of purpose but with lots of leisure built in. 

We can easily do this on two teacher salaries as long as we: live in a fancy 300k 5bed/3.5bathe house in a beautiful neighborhood, drive two 5k cars that we pay cash for, live within 3 miles of work and bike when we can, only eat out a couple times/month, buy a couple new new articles of clothing per person per year, ditch our TV in lieu of extra play time with our kids, and churn credit cards to go on multiple vacations a hear....it's a really hard life I tell ya!!! 

I think it's important to frame things like this.  Notice that most people say WHAT, HOW CAN YOU DITCH TV?!!  But, when I jam it in there with all that awesomeness, who the f#$% cares or even wants to watch TV, there's too much fun stuff to do and plan!  For us, saving 50k/year and spending 70k/year isn't a sacrifice, it's a freaking awesome trade where we give up stuff we don't really need for a lifetime of awesomeness  In the meantime, we are living a very rich life.

[crispy]

I also want to add that I currently work a professional position at a large non-profit that takes donations and sells them in their thrift stores.  Seeing what gets donated day after day has really cured me of a lot of my consumerism.  The sheer volume of stuff that gets donated is absolutely staggering.  My company keeps as much stuff as possible out of landfills (the thrift store is only the beginning. A lot of stuff is separated for salvage and recycling, sold to resellers, auctioned, etc.), but it is still really hard to watch perfectly good items getting crushed for recycling.  Most luxury items end up being trash at some point.  I still like nice things, but I am now committed to buying used items as much as possible and to really scrutinizing my purchases.

[nereo]

This is something I see happen in dieting/exercise as well.  We all know someone who works really hard at the gym, then goes and eats a large pizza as a "reward" because of all the calories they burned.  The problem is, they never lose any weight because the "reward" undoes all of their hard work and keeps them at the same weight as when they didn't work out and didn't eat the pizza.  Their "reward" should be losing weight! Unfortunately most people don't consider long term things good enough rewards, and therefore go for the short term stuff that hurts their long term goals.

[MrsDinero]

For me, my desire to escape luxury was because I was tired of living a certain way.

I wasn't necessarily tired of the vacations and stuff, but more I was tired of living in debt and not having a savings.

I figured I was not going to win the lottery and have a huge windfall of money, so I was going to have to do it the old fashioned way and earn it.

It was a series of small steps for me:
Decluttering my life
Selling my big fancy condo (big mortgage and HOA) and downsizing to something that cost 1/3 of my previous mortgage
Moving from HCOL to LCOL
Getting rid of my luxury car lease and buying something fuel efficient and with cash

[Frankies Girl]

Biggest takeaway I'd got from your post: You are equating your own self-worth from the cost of material goods and objects you can acquire - so the more fancy or expensive, the better you feel? You seem to have some self esteem issues in that you think you must reward yourself with fancy things to feel happy. Might want to start discussing this with a counselor instead of falling further down the rabbit hole of defining yourself from the things you own and consume.




I guess for me, it would be that I know that more expensive is not even close to better most of the time; you're paying more to impress others with the label or name or such, and that means you're just adding time and money to the pile of debt and years to your working career time. And to me that equates to being very naive, shallow, and frankly, dumb.

I wouldn't even want a freaking Tesla if someone gave it to me. I'd sell the silly thing, buy a reasonably nice vehicle and invest the rest. Same for fancy liquors or anything else. I have had expensive liquors and dealt with luxury stuff periodically as I used to work for a very fancy industry that liked showing off to their shareholders, so I've been to $500/plate black tie galas... guess what? It all tastes nice, but I'd still not pay to do it myself because after a certain point, things that are awesome can't get "more awesome-er" because we can't tell the difference. I mostly think it's just rich people trying to show they're rich to other rich people... just sad really.

I really question a person's basic intelligence if they spend money they don't have on things they don't really need, because the idea of buying fancy luxury brands when you are already in debt means you're not buying them because they are your normal - but because you somehow think expensive is better. I honestly would judge you as kind of a moron for doing this (nothing personal; I feel the same about most people that do this stuff and would include myself in that designation if I ever decided to covet "luxury" goods).

Even if you can tell the difference, how much more awesome does item A have to be from item B, if item B is much less expensive and still awesome? Your luxuries are chains and you are a slave right now, and coveting more fancy stuff is just making sure you add more links to those chains, so you stay a slave for the rest of your life. You are a tiny brained hamster running on that wheel till you drop... but hey, at least that wheel will be gold plated, huh? How is that in any way something to desire?

So basically I don't desire luxury goods and services because I don't really care about them to begin with, and I think coveting such things is a sign of a lack of intelligence and desire more to show off than for the actual goods/experiences themselves. I don't reward myself with luxury goods/experiences because I am way better than that fancy crap; I don't see it as a reward. I like things that are good quality and value. And I feel no need to pretend that I'm rich or show off with fancy gadgets and luxury goods because I actually am rich - debt free, 7 figure net worth, retired and never have to work again, and free. I feel no need to cull the favor of others to support my own ego/ID.

[Erica]

I grew up in luxury, my parents were very extravagant

I believe instead of relying on self-control to restrain a feeling that comes with these luxuries, you need to replace it with the same feeling

So as to not feel a loss, or waste effort.

The best things in life have always been free, health exercise, nature etc..

I'd take up cycling. It will cost up front, but overall is a very inexpensive way to get that feeling

If not, try running or another sport you can do 3 times a week.

I believe that pleasurable feeling you get will double so you'll not go back. At least not to the extent of before

[cschx]

Second the person who suggested taking your next vacation in an area with a low "standard of living," with the proviso that you have to live like the locals as much as possible. To break your addiction you need to lower your baseline of consumption. That little serotonin ratchet in your brain can go in reverse; getting it started is the hardest part.

Other techniques that work for me:

* Go hiking – seriously. There's nothing like living out of a pack for a week to make you realize how little you really need. When you get back to civilization, a hot shower and a pizza will feel like an incredible luxury.

* Practice not buying things. I do this fairly often: Go to the store (whatever store has stuff you're actually tempted to buy) and spend 20-30 minutes just ogling things, reveling in your own consumer lust... and then leave without buying a single thing. This is sort of like an inoculation, and builds willpower.

* Use the technique of visualization to associate superficially attractive products with negative outcomes. You can use whatever images work for you. For example, when I'm at the grocery store looking at some conventionally grown oranges shipped in from South Africa, I visualize toxic chemicals wafting off, people doing chemo, etc. See steaks or sausages – visualize horrific CAFOs and slaughterhouses. Maybe you can visualize yourself dying penniless in a nursing home the next time you see that expensive scotch? After a while the negative association becomes automatic and the urge to buy is no longer felt. (Films and exposé articles can be a good source of imagery for this type of exercise.)

[Seppia]

The best solution for me is the automatic investing.
Money leaves the account the same at as my paycheck.
Since I can never bring myself to sell stocks, this setup prevents me from any stupid large purchase