Hi I'm new here

[CatRamBone]

Hi all! I'm new here and want to introduce myself. Thank you for putting this together and reading.

about the Catrambone clan:

I'm a 32 year old dude who is currently clean shaven :p as I make my way through the articles an now forum. I am blessed to call myself  Jess' husband and Grace's dad. Excitedly we are expecting our second later this year!

I'm gainfully employed in a business to business sales job that as Jess puts it, "Sucks the life out of you!" Ouch right!? It is high stress but also pays above a livable wage ie the money is good so I put up with it. Jess is recently graduated as an RN and is working the flexi shift at the local hospital with the new babies and mommies. The hours aren't guaranteed but she loves the work. We make monthly mortgage payments with extra towards principle and put groceries and gas on our credit card which is paid off each month. We have a nice nest egg started with my 401k and a small IRA. I didn't max either out last year because sales were slow. Wells Fargo tells me I have between an 815-789 credit score depending on when I pay off the card.  We owe 150k on a 250k small home that Jess thinks we are out growing.

Still I find myself very very uncomfortable and stressed about our money and our saving versus spending. I worry about losing my job and the hit our lifestyle would take. I would not be happy not "working" to provide for my family and having to rely on Jess's wage. Which in the worst case scenario could be done. Jess tells me that a lot of her coworkers are the sole bread winner in there families.  I'm interested in the idea of a side hustle and passion projects.

I'm here because I think my happiness will improve and my stress/anxiety over money would be less if/when Jess and I get on the same page, talk more openly and honestly about money without the negative emotions, and we have a retirement plan/spending philosophy that we can and want to stick with. I'm not oblivious to the fact that I may come across as misogynistic but I am willing to compromise or strategically plan together with the love of my life and woman of my dreams. I am just not sure how to structure this type of scenario.

thank you again for reading this far!

[semiretired31]

First... welcome.  I can totally relate with your motivations.  I'm a sales guy, have been for 15 years.  The constant stress of meeting quotas and "what have you done for me lately" is really difficult.  It does suck the life out of you.  On the other hand, it provides the means to provide for your family in a way that maybe you wouldn't otherwise be able to (not everyone can be a doctor/lawyer). 

I've always been a good saver, but I've also always (since I was a father anyway) had mild to more than mild anxiety about money and security.  I try to tell myself that if I lost my job, I'd work hard to find a new one and would be fine.  But, I do think it is the root of my want to be FI.  I'd also like to find work that is more fulfilling at some point.  That might be when I reach FI or am much closer to it.  But, it is a nice carrot to keep me moving in a positive direction.

The stress/anxiety over money might be a part of who you are (not saying that negatively).  But, I do think a quest towards FI will help relax the stress a bit and give you the opportunity to own your life, instead of it owning you. 

Good luck to you and your growing family!

[CatRamBone]

Thank you for my very first MMM feedback/ reply mi compadre in sales. The struggle is real. What have you done for me lately is something that gets said on my sales floor/ call center on a regular basis.  lol

And thank you also for the well wishes. We might be getting a son or another beautiful baby girl! We can not lose.

The stress/anxiety over money might just be a part of my/our DNA however on the nature versus nurture scale I think this might lean more towards one side. My work place stress is amplified by the uncertainty of a sales commission environment in addition to the loosely defined standard of ethical behavior for co workers. I'm not here to complain about my situation but all information is good information. What is, is. I too have the propensity to save, but quieting the monkey/reptilian brain full of desires and immediate gratification is a muscle that needs constant training.

u/semiretired31 Can I ask you to point me to any information on the site that you find particularly insightful or motivating?

[CowboyAndIndian]

Can I ask you to point me to any information on the site that you find particularly insightful or motivating?

I suggest that you do a Case Study. There is a how to write a case study here http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/case-studies/how-to-write-a-'case-study'-topic/

This will help you with your finances and when your finances are good, the stress reduces.

The folks on this forum are wonderful. Expect to get some great advice.

Best wishes on your growing family.

[semiretired31]

Thank you for my very first MMM feedback/ reply mi compadre in sales. The struggle is real. What have you done for me lately is something that gets said on my sales floor/ call center on a regular basis.  lol

And thank you also for the well wishes. We might be getting a son or another beautiful baby girl! We can not lose.

The stress/anxiety over money might just be a part of my/our DNA however on the nature versus nurture scale I think this might lean more towards one side. My work place stress is amplified by the uncertainty of a sales commission environment in addition to the loosely defined standard of ethical behavior for co workers. I'm not here to complain about my situation but all information is good information. What is, is. I too have the propensity to save, but quieting the monkey/reptilian brain full of desires and immediate gratification is a muscle that needs constant training.

u/semiretired31 Can I ask you to point me to any information on the site that you find particularly insightful or motivating?

Honestly... I'm pretty new here myself.  I think the 4% draw down pinned thread in investor alley is good - http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/investor-alley/stop-worrying-about-the-4-rule/

Also, I recently got schooled on the early withdraw from 401(k) pinned thread from investor alley - http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/investor-alley/how-to-withdraw-funds-from-your-ira-and-401k-without-penalty-before-age-59-5/  This is really helpful if you have a well established 401(k), but not as much in taxable accounts. 

[CatRamBone]

thanks  U/CowboyAndIndian and U/Semiretired31

[accolay]

Welcome aboard.

Read here:
http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/welcome-to-the-forum/the-best-of-mr-money-mustache/

There are a lot of threads on easing your spouse into this idea.

Beyond MMM, many including myself enjoy JLCollinsNH and his stock series and his concept of FU money, if you are not already aware:
http://jlcollinsnh.com/stock-series/

Good luck

[Erica]

Nice to meet you. I think you will find less stress by visiting this website and learning as you go along. Good Luck :)