Author Topic: Help me with this awkward situation...MLM related  (Read 9024 times)

flamingo25

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Help me with this awkward situation...MLM related
« on: January 17, 2016, 10:51:07 PM »
A friend (although not someone I would consider a close friend) recently sent me a FB message asking if I'd be interested in joining her and a few other ladies in keeping each other accountable with excercise, eating well, etc. I've recently had a baby and am looking up tone up a bit (something I'd previously mentioned to her), so naive me said sure, count me in.

She then sends me a link for the $140 beach body/shakeology kit and says to let me know once I've purchased it. So annoying! She really is a nice person but this is frustrating. I'm not interested in this and now I'm in an awkward situation. I don't want to be a huge jerk but I need to back out. How would you go about this?

kudy

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Re: Help me with this awkward situation...MLM related
« Reply #1 on: January 17, 2016, 10:56:02 PM »
Seems quite the manipulative sell tactic. I'd respond that I didn't realize the group involved a paid program and that I can't afford it, and then wish her luck.

iris lily

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Re: Help me with this awkward situation...MLM related
« Reply #2 on: January 17, 2016, 10:59:01 PM »
What Judy said. You sold not be a all embarrassed because you didn't know tips involved you buying something.  Ad, There is no reason that you should have known.

LeRainDrop

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Re: Help me with this awkward situation...MLM related
« Reply #3 on: January 17, 2016, 11:02:16 PM »
Same as the others.  I'd say that participating in a paid program wasn't really what I had in mind, and thanks anyway, but I'm going to pass.  (That last part really isn't necessary, especially since that was sort of a crappy way to get you to agree, but I'd personally keep it amicable like that anyway.)

EDIT:  I like how Frankies Girl said it.
« Last Edit: January 17, 2016, 11:12:51 PM by LeRainDrop »

Frankies Girl

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Re: Help me with this awkward situation...MLM related
« Reply #4 on: January 17, 2016, 11:10:47 PM »
"Oh, hey Whateveryourname, I must have misunderstood what you were talking about. I am not interested in purchasing anything like that, so I guess you can count me out of your group. Thanks anyway!"

You are not the cause of this. Your sort of friend is the one causing the awkward. Just be honest and say thanks but no thanks and do use the excuse that you don't have that sort of money expenditure in the budget if it makes you feel better. I'd be polite but firm about it tho.

WerKater

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Re: Help me with this awkward situation...MLM related
« Reply #5 on: January 17, 2016, 11:37:10 PM »
"Oh, hey Whateveryourname, I must have misunderstood what you were talking about. I am not interested in purchasing anything like that, so I guess you can count me out of your group. Thanks anyway!"

You are not the cause of this. Your sort of friend is the one causing the awkward. Just be honest and say thanks but no thanks and do use the excuse that you don't have that sort of money expenditure in the budget if it makes you feel better. I'd be polite but firm about it tho.
This!
Except, I would certainly not bother with any excuses.

TheNick

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Re: Help me with this awkward situation...MLM related
« Reply #6 on: January 17, 2016, 11:38:11 PM »
MLM people are a special breed of annoying.  You should send her a link to the same product you can probably buy at GNC or Walgreens or somewhere for a fraction of the cost.

woopwoop

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Re: Help me with this awkward situation...MLM related
« Reply #7 on: January 17, 2016, 11:49:22 PM »
"Do you support saving the whales?"
"Uh, sure--"
*shoves a credit card donation form into your face* "GIVE US MONEY! MONEY! MONEY!"

I hate people who treat me like a sales target instead of a human. All y'all are way nicer than me. Whenever someone does a hard MLM sell through FB, I don't reply and just instantly unfriend/block them. They're using social media to try and sell me bullshit? Nuh uh, no way, that's not how my friends treat me. That's how the scammer in the Target parking lot treats me.

I actually had a really nice time today going over to my neighbor's house - she was having a clothes "sale" in her living room and I though oh, no, it's gonna be a ripoff MLM thing. I still went over to be polite and chat, and we talked for an hour and it turned out she had a bunch of awesome secondhand clothes and wants to open a boutique, not an MLM thing at all. I ended up buying two $5 shirts because they were great designers and there was absolutely zero pressure to buy. I hate the MLM schemes that stress hard sales tactics. It's not how I ever want to spend my money.

Her pressuring you to spend money? That's a way messed up thing to do to someone you consider a friend and you should absolutely not feel embarrassed about saying no or just not replying at all, however you want to handle it. "No." is a perfectly valid response to that level of bullshit, and more polite than she deserves, if you ask me.

woopwoop

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Re: Help me with this awkward situation...MLM related
« Reply #8 on: January 17, 2016, 11:51:26 PM »
MLM people are a special breed of annoying.  You should send her a link to the same product you can probably buy at GNC or Walgreens or somewhere for a fraction of the cost.
The problem with giving ANY sort of reasoning is that these people have pages full of rebuttals  that they're trained to use for any common negative responses. Don't get lured into their discussion at all imo.

TheNick

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Re: Help me with this awkward situation...MLM related
« Reply #9 on: January 18, 2016, 12:00:54 AM »
MLM people are a special breed of annoying.  You should send her a link to the same product you can probably buy at GNC or Walgreens or somewhere for a fraction of the cost.
The problem with giving ANY sort of reasoning is that these people have pages full of rebuttals  that they're trained to use for any common negative responses. Don't get lured into their discussion at all imo.

Haha I had to work side by side with one of them for 6 months.  It was the most annoying 6 months at work I ever had.  He spent the first month trying to sell me his product and the next 5 trying to recruit me to sell under him.  It was just non stop...ask him how his kids little league game went over the weekend and he'd shift the conversation to his product.  He was selling some kind of meal replacement/protein shake mix...but the guy literally had diarrhea from it 24/7.  He couldn't go more than 2 hours without making a mad dash to the bathroom from the stuff.  He earned the nickname "Shit Shake," and man was I glad when that guy quit to go push his shakes full time...which lasted for about a month before he was punching a clock again...but thankfully he was punching a clock far, far away from the one I was.  The guy would just not take no for an answer, and it got to a point where you didn't even want to acknowledge his existence because even saying hi to him would result in having to hear about his MLM scheme for the next 2 hours at a minimum.

Venturing

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Re: Help me with this awkward situation...MLM related
« Reply #10 on: January 18, 2016, 12:37:23 AM »
If you Ve just had a baby then it might not be suitable for you anyway, particularly if you're breast feeding.

misshathaway

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Re: Help me with this awkward situation...MLM related
« Reply #11 on: January 18, 2016, 02:18:47 AM »
She then sends me a link for the $140 beach body/shakeology kit and says to let me know once I've purchased it. So annoying! She really is a nice person but this is frustrating. I'm not interested in this and now I'm in an awkward situation. I don't want to be a huge jerk but I need to back out.

She's the jerk. Let's give her the benefit of the doubt and say that the shake company told her to use this as a sales tactic. Still, she's the jerk for doing it. Agree with prior posters that giving any reason is only going to take longer b/c the company probably has a script with rebuttals for all the reasons. Just say you misunderstood the invitation.

Rural

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Re: Help me with this awkward situation...MLM related
« Reply #12 on: January 18, 2016, 05:37:22 AM »
I would assume that unfriending her as soon as I got the pyramid scheme link would get the message across. I don't have any interest in wasting time on people like that.

alleykat

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Re: Help me with this awkward situation...MLM related
« Reply #13 on: January 18, 2016, 05:46:32 AM »
I wouldn't use excuses either. I would keep it nice though and just say that you didn't realized they were doing a specific program and that you are not interested and wish them well. 

I really hate when people sell things, family and friends just become dollar signs. It is ridiculous.

Chris22

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Re: Help me with this awkward situation...MLM related
« Reply #14 on: January 18, 2016, 07:46:01 AM »
I always respond with this link:

http://youtu.be/a231RLKyfPw

LeRainDrop

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Re: Help me with this awkward situation...MLM related
« Reply #15 on: January 18, 2016, 10:34:19 AM »
I always respond with this link:

http://youtu.be/a231RLKyfPw

LOL!!!  That is awesome!  I had completely forgotten that episode.

clarkfan1979

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Re: Help me with this awkward situation...MLM related
« Reply #16 on: January 18, 2016, 11:03:35 AM »
You could also say that you don't like those shakes. Tell them that you have a fruit and vegetables plan that you already started.

use2betrix

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Re: Help me with this awkward situation...MLM related
« Reply #17 on: January 18, 2016, 11:32:33 AM »
If I responded it would likely be something rude. So, I would probably elect not to respond at all. I've been hit up twice for this stuff in the last month. One of my friends said "it could be a great side business for your stay at home wife" I really wanted to be like, "I wouldn't have a wife if she was annoyingly trying to shove products down people's throats all day."

Jim2001

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Re: Help me with this awkward situation...MLM related
« Reply #18 on: January 18, 2016, 01:31:07 PM »
A simple "No, thank you anyway" should do it.  If she's a good friend and you feel like you can be honest with her, you may share that it seemed a bit of a "bait and switch" sales tactic that may turn some people off.  If not, let it pass. 

BeanCounter

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Re: Help me with this awkward situation...MLM related
« Reply #19 on: January 18, 2016, 01:50:50 PM »
Man do I understand! I was so excited when we moved to our new neighborhood because there were all these Mom's that seemed so friendly and a neighborhood mom Facebook page. and I was making all these new friends at the neighborhood pool etc. Only to find out 80% of them are involved in some kind of MLM. Ugh.
I just flat out say no. Period. I've even had one insist that I come to some WildTree party with her and I told her flat out, I'd love to go, but I'm not buying anything. :)

PhysicianOnFIRE

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Re: Help me with this awkward situation...MLM related
« Reply #20 on: January 18, 2016, 02:10:18 PM »
MLM "parties" drive me crazy.  My wife gets invited from time to time and she's great at finding reasons why she just can't make it that night.  I can't understand how some people think it's OK to profit off friends and acquaintances with those schemes.  I'm sure they choose not to see it that way. 

Mermaid3011

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Re: Help me with this awkward situation...MLM related
« Reply #21 on: January 18, 2016, 02:14:58 PM »
To be honest, a tactic like that is pretty "in your face" and your friend is VERY used to getting the "no thanks" answer if she has sold the program for a while.

So first of all: don't feel bad for saying "no thanks".

What you can still do is join the group and help each other with accountability and getting fit. USUALLY that is no problem. USUALLY those groups are run through a private facebook group and in my experience your friend will still invite you with the hope that you may purchase something at a later time.

So all you need to do is stick to your "no, I don't think this is right for me".

By the way: if you want to try the program out they have a full refund policy and I have used it. They REALLY fully refund you. Even for the nutritional shake. Even if you have used most of the bag. You still get the full refund. I believe all I paid was S&H for a full month worth of chocolate shakes and workouts.

Mermaid3011

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Re: Help me with this awkward situation...MLM related
« Reply #22 on: January 18, 2016, 02:17:14 PM »
MLM people are a special breed of annoying.  You should send her a link to the same product you can probably buy at GNC or Walgreens or somewhere for a fraction of the cost.
The problem with giving ANY sort of reasoning is that these people have pages full of rebuttals  that they're trained to use for any common negative responses. Don't get lured into their discussion at all imo.


THIS !! Exactly :)
Now, I also would like to add that they believe in the program. Have had good results with the program and see nothing wrong with inviting and asking.

And I see nothing wrong with saying "thanks, but not for me".

Mermaid3011

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Re: Help me with this awkward situation...MLM related
« Reply #23 on: January 18, 2016, 02:20:59 PM »
MLM "parties" drive me crazy.  My wife gets invited from time to time and she's great at finding reasons why she just can't make it that night.  I can't understand how some people think it's OK to profit off friends and acquaintances with those schemes.  I'm sure they choose not to see it that way.

No, they usually really believe in the product because they use it themselves. Candles, Tupperware, Fitness Program. It's all the same.

As a semi-anthropologist I actually find those parties quite entertaining. The social interactions and structures that come out at parties like these are very very interesting to watch! And there is free drinks and food...

flamingo25

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Re: Help me with this awkward situation...MLM related
« Reply #24 on: January 18, 2016, 02:24:08 PM »
I replied that it's not in my budget now that I'm a stay-at-home parent.

As someone else mentioned I am also not personally comfortable doing the program now that I know more about it. I was underweight before getting pregnant and per my doctor am at a healthy weight now. I could stand to tone my stretched-out tummy a bit but I don't need an expensive program and fancy shakes to do that.

So frustrating.

mm1970

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Re: Help me with this awkward situation...MLM related
« Reply #25 on: January 18, 2016, 03:25:18 PM »
A friend (although not someone I would consider a close friend) recently sent me a FB message asking if I'd be interested in joining her and a few other ladies in keeping each other accountable with excercise, eating well, etc. I've recently had a baby and am looking up tone up a bit (something I'd previously mentioned to her), so naive me said sure, count me in.

She then sends me a link for the $140 beach body/shakeology kit and says to let me know once I've purchased it. So annoying! She really is a nice person but this is frustrating. I'm not interested in this and now I'm in an awkward situation. I don't want to be a huge jerk but I need to back out. How would you go about this?

Okay, full disclosure: I'm a beachbody discount coach. (The "discount" means, "I'm only a coach to get a 25% discount on the products.  I don't sell anything to anybody.") I fell for one of those $140 "challenge packs" almost 2 years ago.  (21 day fix).  Turns out that plan was glorious, GLORIOUS!! I lost almost all of my baby weight (26 pounds) that year (2014).  Then plateaued.  Then lost the last 10 pounds late last year.

I really really like the workouts.  I have a few now (including P90X, that I got 4 or 5 years ago because my husband was traveling so much and I couldn't get to the gym).  I also like shakeology, but had honestly planned on canceling after the first month (and didn't).

That said ... you really don't have to say anything. I've had a few people ask me what I did to lose the weight.  I tell them.  I like the 21 day fix so much that I bought the base kit (no shakeology) as a gift for 2 people.  One, my sister, who wants to lose weight and is having a hard time after 50.  One, my babysitter, who really just wants to tone up, she's plenty trim.

If your friend pushes you on it, just say "thanks, but I'm really not interested in that right now".

There are a lot of beachbody coaches in my town - at least, I know it now because I know what to look for.  I see posts on the local swap pages a lot.
Some of them are great - they actually hold free workouts every day, or several times a day - these are people who have access to gyms.  I think it's probably a pretty good deal to work with them.  I personally like working with a group.
Some don't have anything like that, but they do encourage you and work with you one on one.  Kind of like how Weight Watchers has meetings, that personal connection can really help.

A lot of times they will have "free challenges" where they will have a week of clean eating, or a week of fun workouts posted, or whatever.
But, there's often a seedy underbelly too.    Maybe not too seedy, but annoying?  For example, 21 day fix.  I've seen people ask about that on the local swap page (unsolicited people just asking about it), and they will ask "can I do it without the Shakeology?"

I generally stay out of it, but the answer, of  course, is "yes".  You can buy the base kit without the shakes (which are not necessary), for a lot less money.  But they don't necessarily TELL you that because - if you sign up with them as your coach, and buy the shakeology, they get a 25% commission every time you buy it.  There's not a lot of money in just selling 5 people a base kit once or twice a year.

So I know a few people in internet land who do this as a living.  I haven't really delved into how it works honestly (because I don't care), but it seems like in order to make regular income, you have to get "points", and you get points by selling the challenge packs, and that requires NEW customers.  Seems like eventually you'd exhaust your circle of friends/ acquaintances, and everyone else's too.

Fine if you get 10 people to buy shakeology from you every  month, that's what, $350 a month?  That's not going to make you the bucks.  But if you build a team below you, you get more money.  I don't really know, but personally, it seems like an awful lot of work.  (That said, I know a few people who are coaches who are fabulous at it - great motivators, they have websites with delicious recipes and meal plans, they have good workout challenges.  But most of this you can get for free.)

(However I do love the workouts, so maybe you can check out craigslist or just buy them.  I've also been pinning some good you tube videos.  One of the internet coaches held a December challenge group.  I didn't play along because we were sick, but she linked some great videos.)

Sorry that was super long.  I would just say that you aren't interested.

mm1970

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Re: Help me with this awkward situation...MLM related
« Reply #26 on: January 18, 2016, 03:30:11 PM »
MLM "parties" drive me crazy.  My wife gets invited from time to time and she's great at finding reasons why she just can't make it that night.  I can't understand how some people think it's OK to profit off friends and acquaintances with those schemes.  I'm sure they choose not to see it that way.

No, they usually really believe in the product because they use it themselves. Candles, Tupperware, Fitness Program. It's all the same.

As a semi-anthropologist I actually find those parties quite entertaining. The social interactions and structures that come out at parties like these are very very interesting to watch! And there is free drinks and food...

This is interesting too.  I have a friend who is a SAHM who has invited me to so many things...internet discounts, essential oils, juice plus, and now some sort of cleaning product (luckily for me my husband is out of town for the next one).  She actually does use all of these things. I  did buy a few essential oils from her because of sleep issues and illness - honestly, I'll try anything once.  They didn't work for me.

OTOH, I have purchased (from others) some cooking items (Pampered chef) that I use ALL the time and some great clothing (CAbi) that flatters me like nothing else.  And it's good quality.

GreenSheep

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Re: Help me with this awkward situation...MLM related
« Reply #27 on: January 18, 2016, 03:49:02 PM »
The suggested responses here apply to life in general. If you want to enjoy your life (and remember, you only get one, and you have no way of predicting how long it will last), then you have to learn to say NO early and often and NOT feel bad about it. Ever. It's your time. It's your money. There's no need to be rude, and there's no need to give excuses (which, yes, often just lead to further attempts at persuasion). "No thanks" or "Sorry, I can't" is all that's needed. They don't have to know you mean "No thanks, sorry, I can't because I'd rather gouge my eyes out with a spoon than do whatever it is you've suggested."

Nickels Dimes Quarters

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Re: Help me with this awkward situation...MLM related
« Reply #28 on: January 18, 2016, 04:57:07 PM »
If I even get a hint of MLM on social media, those people get hidden so I don't have to see their marketing. If it's really bad and they aren't related, I remove them. I work with lots of people who have side businesses. Some are actual businesses but many are selling products through MLMs. Once I've identified these people, I rarely engage them in non-work conversation and never give them personal information they can use to try and lure me.

When someone tries, I give them the oh, no, I wouldn't have the money to spend on something like that, and move on. I do not feel bad at all, in fact, when I successfully deny someone the opportunity to get my money, I feel great.

NDQ

jeep725

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Re: Help me with this awkward situation...MLM related
« Reply #29 on: January 18, 2016, 05:55:13 PM »
I've found it easier to say thanks but no thanks to people on Facebook, especially those I don't interact with much in person, than I do to the neighborhood kids who come around door to door and need to sell fundraiser stuff. I feel exceptionally guilty in those situations, and in some cases have bought stuff I didn't really want to. I also have some close friends who "are starting this new in home business" who I genuinely want to see do well, but I don't necessarily want to host a party here at my house. Yes, again I feel bad saying no.





mm1970

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Re: Help me with this awkward situation...MLM related
« Reply #30 on: January 18, 2016, 05:58:39 PM »
I've found it easier to say thanks but no thanks to people on Facebook, especially those I don't interact with much in person, than I do to the neighborhood kids who come around door to door and need to sell fundraiser stuff. I feel exceptionally guilty in those situations, and in some cases have bought stuff I didn't really want to. I also have some close friends who "are starting this new in home business" who I genuinely want to see do well, but I don't necessarily want to host a party here at my house. Yes, again I feel bad saying no.
Yeah those kids are the worst!  Especially when they are selling chocolate.

DocMcStuffins

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Re: Help me with this awkward situation...MLM related
« Reply #31 on: January 18, 2016, 06:48:43 PM »
Yeah, its no big deal to turn down one of the programs.  Wife is a beachbody girl.  Started 3 years ago.  Actually makes money off this but does it more because  it gives her purpose / reason to keep on exercising.  I don't mind because it got my fat but to loose 80 lbs (programs and shakeology).  Actually they generally do a good job without pressure or anything like that.  They are big on personal development and it has changed who my wife is for the better so again I can't complain.  I was very skeptical when she started and had to teach her what a MLM company is.  Overall, I would just tell the lady No thanks but I appreciate the offer.  You shouldn't get much from that.   FYI a good book about this is called "essentialism" which is about saying more no's to things that don't give you a 10/10 or "hell yes" response when you are offered them. This obviously could be included in consumerism of good / services since we are on the MMM board.

Tami1982

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Re: Help me with this awkward situation...MLM related
« Reply #32 on: January 18, 2016, 07:51:00 PM »
"No, thanks." 

Reminds me of this meme that I use to remind myself all the time that I owe no one an explanation.

Johnez

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Re: Help me with this awkward situation...MLM related
« Reply #33 on: January 18, 2016, 10:57:22 PM »
Ignore.
Hide posts from this user.
Unfriend.
What's it cost you?

"Let me know when you buy $140 of worthless crap" LOL.  Ok.....  Let me know when you're buying me a Maserati.