I think having a specific goal for FI or FIRE would be motivating and could help with discussions with my husband in terms of setting timelines to achieve that goal. But I have several options and I don't know how to choose (I realize this is actually a very good position to be in). I discovered MMM a few months and it has been a revelation! Husband is very supportive in terms of making some changes but also understandably still wants some of the luxuries our salaries can afford. And we both want to keep traveling so I am trying to find ways to reduce the cost instead of cutting down on our travels. I have recently returned to work after two nearly back-to-back periods of parental leave, so we now have too very young kids at home and a lot of my priorities have changed.
Our current situation is as follows. We both have the same job. My husband loves his job and does not see himself retiring anytime before 55 (and I suspect would only want to go part time at that point rather than retiring outright). I think it is generally an amazing job but there are parts of it I definitely don't like. And of course I would love to spend more time with my kids. Through a lot of number crunching, I have realized that there are many possibilities. At the riskiest end of the spectrum, I could stop working right now. Assuming everything goes well, it would require a bit of belt tightening, but not much, and would probably mean that we would need to draw down more than 4% for 3-4 years after DH retires, if he retires at 55, until the mortgage is paid off and the kids are off to university. That would be balanced out by the fact that we would both start receiving Canada Pension Plan benefits at 60, and potentially Old Age Security at 65. If DH works part time after 55, then we can withdraw way less than 4% until he stops working outright. My concern with this option is that it leaves me or us with little security should I ever have to fend for myself or if something prevented DH from working (I've read lots of stories about professional women becoming stay at home moms and then ending up in financial dire straits if the marriage falls apart).
At the other end of the spectrum, if we both work until 55, we can retire with sweet pensions that meet all of our needs without dipping into the stash much at all, and probably not at all once we start receiving CPP. This seems like a waste of working years (and time not spent with the kids).
And then, there is everything in between. The longer I work full time, the more financially secure we are.
I also have the option of scaling back to almost any proportion of my work duties, with the option of going back full time if I want. The advantage is that there is a security back-up if life throws us a curve ball. The major downside to this is that it would be a career killer. The system I work in is not set up for this at all and I don't know anyone who has ever taken advantage of this option. It would essentially mean eventually giving up on my favorite (but also most challenging) part of my job. This has a lot of implications, and I would probably lose the respect of some of my colleagues.
Can anyone help me sort these ideas? Has anyone gone down one of these routes with success or regrets?