Haters gonna hate

[detroital]

I am scheduled to retire at the end of this year at the age of 61.  When I tell people about it, most of them say excitedly, "WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO???  YOU'D BETTER HAVE A PLAN FOR ALL THAT TIME!!!"  As if retirement is going to be a burden instead of a relief.  Has anyone else experienced this?

[en58]

Haters gonna hate

Potatoes gonna potate.

[DreamFIRE]

I am scheduled to retire at the end of this year at the age of 61.  When I tell people about it, most of them say excitedly, "WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO???  YOU'D BETTER HAVE A PLAN FOR ALL THAT TIME!!!"  As if retirement is going to be a burden instead of a relief.  Has anyone else experienced this?

I've let very few people know that I'm wanting to retire early.  But, that's almost exactly the reaction I got from my BIL.  Ironically, he is a lot older than me and has been retired for years.  The last thing I'm worried about is sitting around bored.

[Moustachienne]

Same thing happened to me (retired at 60 a year ago).  The thing is that you can fall into the trap of trying to "justify" yourself (that you can afford to retire, that you aren't worried about too much time, etc) with too many details, especially at first when you are legitimately exploring how best to structure and spend all that glorious time.  Like me, you might find yourself listing all your plans and dreams when a simple breezy answer is all that's required.   Pre-retirees are often SUPER worried about retirement so don't feed the anxiety beast.

It helps to have a few stock answers:

Q: How will you spend all that time??
A: I'm looking forward to figuring that out!
or
A: Anyway I want!
or
A: Just enjoying life!

[TartanTallulah]

The only person who tells me I'll be bored in retirement is my mother, who retired on health grounds in her mid-forties, has never been bored, and is terrified about what's going to become of the Work Yourself To Death script she dumped on me when she gave up work herself.

My youngest daughter said, "What are you going to do with all that time?" and I told her I would be landing on her doorstep all the time demanding to be entertained. She was quite enthusiastic about that idea. It would compensate in some way for all the years I neglected her because I had to work.

Otherwise, I don't think anyone would dare suggest to my face that I couldn't keep myself occupied without work.

[skip207]

Envy.  Usually.  Or people who are addicted to their job or actually have a lot of job satisfaction.

My mother cant understand why I want to retire early.  She thinks I will be bored. Retirement for her generation is usually 65 after doing a manual labour job for 50 years.  Physically worn out and ready for the last 10 years before slipping off the plate.  Retiring before that is just something she cant comprehend.

I would rather be bored than stressed out at work for starters.   I know which one will kill me.

[Dances With Fire]

Envy.  Usually.  Or people who are addicted to their job or actually have a lot of job satisfaction.

My mother cant understand why I want to retire early.  She thinks I will be bored. Retirement for her generation is usually 65 after doing a manual labour job for 50 years.  Physically worn out and ready for the last 10 years before slipping off the plate.  Retiring before that is just something she cant comprehend.

I would rather be bored than stressed out at work for starters.   I know which one will kill me.

+1

Most of the people on this forum are adventurous types with a HUGE variety of interests and hobbies. I have heard from mountain climbers, mountain bikers, skiers, hockey players, world travelers, gardeners, to a host of other interests.

The last thing (most) MMM types are going to do, is sit on their ass watching mindless television all day.

My MIL still doesn't understand either...Cheers!

[OtherJen]

Ugh. Yeah, my mother (age: 67 years) refuses to retire because she “doesn’t want to just sit around all the time”. And if she retired, she worries that my retired father might stop doing the gardening, cooking, and tinkering that he enjoys and “just sit around all the time”. Sigh.

People generally don’t understand anyone willing to downscale at all. When I left my academic research career to freelance in academic publishing 5 years ago, questions about how I would fill all my free time and get any social interaction were second in number only to questions about how I could possibly earn enough money to feed myself and husband (who kept his full time job) and keep the lights on. Yeah, I’m not that stupid. I did my research, ran the numbers, grew the side gig and accumulated clients until I knew it was viable, and worked my ass off so I wouldn’t have to go back. But still, people insisted that it couldn’t be done and was doomed to fail and that I would be driven insane by boredom and isolation.

[Cranky]

I dunno - maybe they are just interested and you could tell them what you plan to do?

I'm a little concerned about what *I* am going to do this winter, now that I'm retired. For one thing, I hate winter, and for the other, I'm going to have knee surgery, so I do think it's going to get pretty boring.

[OtherJen]

I dunno - maybe they are just interested and you could tell them what you plan to do?

I'm a little concerned about what *I* am going to do this winter, now that I'm retired. For one thing, I hate winter, and for the other, I'm going to have knee surgery, so I do think it's going to get pretty boring.

That’s a valid concern. My dad had hip surgery a couple of months after he retired, and boredom was a challenge during recovery (he’d always been very physically active). There were a lot of books and movies. We gave him a Kindle tablet for Christmas, and he discovered YouTube and started learning how to cook beyond the basics.

The osteoarthritis in his hip destabilized the rest of the leg so he now walks with a limp, but my mom got him a pair of Nordic walking poles so that he can trek around local parks without worrying about falls.

[mbl]

Most of the people on this forum are adventurous types with a HUGE variety of interests and hobbies. I have heard from mountain climbers, mountain bikers, skiers, hockey players, world travelers, gardeners, to a host of other interests.

The last thing (most) MMM types are going to do, is sit on their ass watching mindless television all day.

Funny things is, many adventurous types still work and climb mountains, run spartan races, marathons, Triathalons,  Biathalons,  Tetrathalons, bike, ski, skate, hockey, ride horses, travel, travel some more, volunteer......and a raise kids, build their own homes and more.

Sometimes it's those that do all that and work that wonder about ER.

In the end, it's still a personal and private matter.  Often here,  the MMM folks seem to need validation of their choices from others because they seem to assume that their choices are somehow superior.     Then are bewildered that they don't get the response they want from people who don't share their fiscal value system.
 
Basically, who cares?
You're doing your thing and that's what matters.

[DreamFIRE]

Often here,  the MMM folks seem to need validation of their choices from others because they seem to assume that their choices are somehow superior.     Then are bewildered that they don't get the response they want from people who don't share their fiscal value system.

I've been keeping my planned ER a secret from about everyone - not seeking anyone's validation - don't need it.  I happened to let it out to my BIL just as a matter of conversation since he is already retired, which is the ironic thing about his response.

I dunno - maybe they are just interested and you could tell them what you plan to do?

That's definitely not the case in my example.  Tone of voice was more condescending, as if I wouldn't have an answer to his question, "what are you going to do?"  It was very different from someone asking out of pure interest or curiosity.

[NorCal Stubble]

Haters gonna hate

Potatoes gonna potate.

Oh please tell me that's a Destiny Potatoe reference!

[Mississippi Mudstache]

Eh, 61 is a very normal retirement age. I don't understand the issue people are having. My dad and my his parents both retired in their early 50s, and I don't recall anyone giving them any grief about it. They all worked for the same employer for 30+ years (since their early 20s), earned a full pension, and then retired. They've all had awesome, productive, and engaging retirements. People who don't understand that are idiots.

[mathlete]

Congratulations!

[dude]

"Those who restrain their desires, do so because theirs is weak enough to be restrained."
-- William Blake

[Lmoot]

I think it’s a reasonable question. Most of us spend most of our waking hours working. They’re probably curious/ looking for ideas.

[DreamFIRE]

Since Medicare age is 65 and full retirement age for SS is 67 (for most of us), it's a hard concept for a lot of people to grapple with retiring a decade or more before that age.   It seems like most people I've known in real life who retired by 60 had a pension and healthcare benefits, which is much less common these days outside of government workers.

They’re probably curious/ looking for ideas.

I responded on that earlier - that is definitely NOT the case based on the tone of how it's asked, not to mention other things mentioned at about the same time as if it's a crazy idea.

[jim555]

I was told "You have an obligation to society not to retire", "What will you do all day", "You are too young to retire", "I hate you".

[detroital]

The tone of voice is the key.  No one is curious.  They seem to want me to feel that I will hate it.  I suspect that most of them hate being with their spouses so much that they'd hate to think of being home all day with them. 

[BudgetSlasher]

Best response I've ever heard to that kind of question (I am paraphrasing because it has been years) was "worse case, I will keep sitting around staring at a computer screen waiting for something to do/happen, except I won't be in a cubicle and I will be in a comfortable chair."

Of course that only works if the job is the kind where your butt needs to be in the seat 8 hours a day 5 days a week and there are long periods of doing nothing while waiting for a new project or while waiting on others to complete their parts.

[mcluhan]

I alternate between answering "Anything I want to do" and "Why do you ask?" I'm 51 and retired but look younger, and I've had some people get really mean and aggressive when asking that question. I used to try to explain what I actually do with my time, but now I just shut down that part of the conversation as fast as possible.   

[PDXTabs]

I think that this is a legitimate if miss-expressed concern.

My grandfather worked in a steel mill long enough to get a good pension and retire. He told me that he had watched other people with a lifetime of physical labor retire and die a few years later, seemingly because they no longer had anything to do (including exercise).

So he retired, but he stayed very active, specifically because he had seen the alternative. He lived to be 97, but he was still rowing a boat to troll for trout into his 80s.

[dmc]

I’m 61, I retired when I was 50.  My boss seamed happy And was telling everyone how good things were if I was able to retire that early.  My dad says he quit working when he was 57.  He owned a construction company but my mom passed away, she was 55, and I guess he realized you never know how much time you have left. 

He was pretty proud to tell his golfing buddies that I was retired at 50. 

Others seemed just a little jealous, now no one questions me.

[sparkytheop]

I work where a large majority of us are eligible to retire at 57 without any penalties (full pension, instant access to retirement accounts, etc.)  Still, many of them won't go until at least mid-70s.  If I get the chance to leave earlier without penalty (I'd be eligible at 46 if the magic situation presented itself.)

I get a lot of "what would you do?!"  "Oh, you could get a job and work part time!"  Uh... no.  I just tell them there are hundreds of things I want to do, and not a single one of those involves showing up at an actual job.  Even at my job, where others kill time watching movies, playing games (think a job with downtime like a fireman--you have your daily duties, but you're mostly there for emergencies, especially when everyone else in town is asleep), I'm making quilts, sewing, doing crochet, cooking/baking, learning new recipes, etc.  I'm not someone who will get bored without a job to go to!