Has anyone been treated differently by people who think you're "poor?"

[babysnowbyrd]

I was in bed sick two weekends ago. I called in sick the next Monday morning. A few hours later a cop came to my house, and accused me or a [nonexistant] live-in boyfriend of having just caused an accident a few streets over. Long story short, someone with the same kind of car as mine cut across a gas station parking lot, hit another car (not too bad though) and left. Part of it was caught on camera. A "witness" said they followed the car to my home. Took down my address, license plate number etc, and gave that to the police. I'm sure the officer thought he had a slam dunk.

Anyway, I had no idea what the officer was talking about of course. He was extremely rude. He thought I was playing dumb so he was about to write me a ticket for reckless driving. Got the classic "tell it to the judge" line. Thankfully, I hadn't gone anywhere, and since it snowed over the weekend, I was able to prove by pointing out the fresh pile of snow behind my car as evidence that my car did not leave my yard in the time that the accident happened. He decided not to write a ticket but left with, "If I find out you've been lying to me, I'm going to be a real d*** to you, you got that?" It bothers me that if this had happened in the spring, or if it hadn't snowed recently, or if I had gone somewhere, etc etc then I would now have an expensive ticket and a major blow to an otherwise clean record.

Anyway, the cop was so fantastically rude. I can't help but wonder if part of it was because I live in an RV in a kind of run-down neighborhood. (It used to be the bad part of town but has since aged out of that. It's pretty run-down and "poor" looking but the real bad side of town, AKA "Felony Flats" is on the other side of town now.) I wonder if he was so patronizing because he thought he was talking to "trailer trash" instead of someone with a college degree, a good steady job, absolutely no criminal record, who is being deliberately frugal.

I just think he may not have been so rude if I was in a McMansion in a richer part of town and it happened with a newer car and I wore a brand-new outfit and had an iphone. Anyone else think so? I'm not saying he was only rude because of that, but I think he may have at least been more inclined to believe me instead of assuming I was covering for a dead-beat boyfriend.

Nothing has come of it so far, so I'm guessing the witness may have back-pedaled a bit when confronted.

[Eric]

I'm not sure your wealth level has much to do with it.  Some cops are just dicks.  And probably even more are dicks when they think you're lying to them.

Was the snow really the deciding factor over the fact that your car hadn't been in an accident?

[babysnowbyrd]

It was. He was getting into his car to write me the ticket. I pointed out the fresh snow behind my vehicle. It would have been impossible for me to have been anywhere without having tire marks through the snow. Because some had slid off the back of my car before there was about a 6 inch pile right below my bumper. All nicely dusted with an extra inch from the night before. Unless I helicoptered my car out of there and back! But then if I could do that, I wouldn't have needed to cut through a gas station to avoid stopping at a red light. :)

[Pants]

Hang on, someone tried to set you up by giving the cop your licence and address?! As in, someone who knows you, where you live and what you drive deliberately lied to the cops to get you into trouble?

If that's right then you have bigger problems than the perception issue... bloody lucky you had the snow to prove it wasn't you.

The cop might have been pissed about having had his time wasted... Generally if you are well spoken and polite it overrides the first impression, in my experience.

[babysnowbyrd]

I'm usually very polite to cops. I was to this one anyway. I wasn't rude or belligerent or anything. He didn't let up the whole time until I pointed out the snow.

I wondered too about the witness and why they would outright lie. I asked for the name and didn't recognize it. I'm guessing two likely scenarios:

1) The witness is someone from around my neighborhood who saw the accident and "recognized" the car as mine and came by shortly after to write down the license and address.

2) The witness started following the vehicle but lost them near my neighborhood. (I know of another car same make/color as mine a few streets over, plus there's another make/similar-dark-color just down the road a little further than me). As they drove through, they saw my vehicle, thought "That's got to be it!" and gave up that info.

[babysnowbyrd]

I'm not sure your wealth level has much to do with it.  Some cops are just dicks.  And probably even more are dicks when they think you're lying to them.

Was the snow really the deciding factor over the fact that your car hadn't been in an accident?

There also wasn't any damage on my car where it would have hit the other, but since it wasn't a huge wreck he might have thought I somehow managed to get away without even a scratch. It's a cheap kind of car though, so it's unlikely to come out of even a tiny scrape with another car without SOME kind of sign.

Besides that, my tires were also dry, and there was fresh snow around the tires and even up inside the hubcap. So it should have been obvious the car hadn't moved before the previous night's snowfall.

[Herbert Derp]

When I traveled cross country on a Greyhound bus a year and a half ago, I brought a bunch of canned food along so I didn't have to buy food at restaurants. Other passengers kept offering to buy me food; I guess they thought I was too broke to afford it. If only they knew that my investments had just crossed the 100K mark.

[EarlyStart]

When I traveled cross country on a Greyhound bus a year and a half ago, I brought a bunch of canned food along so I didn't have to buy food at restaurants. Other passengers kept offering to buy me food; I guess they thought I was too broke to afford it. If only they knew that my investments had just crossed the 100K mark.

That's really awesome.

[innerscorecard]

The police definitely treat the rich and poor completely differently. You absolutely must take this into account.

[Gin1984]

The police definitely treat the rich and poor completely differently. You absolutely must take this into account.

I have found this to be true as well.  I was treated very differently by cops in the good area vs the bad area.

[Bob W]

There is a justice system for the rich.  For the poor there are dick cops.

[innerscorecard]

There was even a study showing that people are more deferential to expensive cars, when driving.

People are social and hierarchical animals by nature.

[Bob W]

Remember the mortgage loan scam.  More money was scammed from investors than all property theft in a decade and millions of lives ruined.   What?  Maybe one of the crooks did any time.   

[paddedhat]

The police definitely treat the rich and poor completely differently. You absolutely must take this into account.

Could be worse, you could be poor and black. It's well documented that DWB, "driving while black" is considered a crime by some police departments. To the point that some black cops even take the time to go out, off duty, and test the theory. I have seen videos of their "brothers in blue" stopping them for no reason, and then cuff and ruff them up, for being in an area they "don't belong".

As for being treated poorly for being poor, I have an older friend who retired very early, and wealthy. Unless it was pretty cold out, he spent most of his time in a pair of beat up boat moccs, no socks, a bowie knife on his belt, a pair of cut off jeans and a ragged shirt. He was always keenly aware of how he was treated, based on how he dressed. One time he had contracted with a local landscape outfit to do a huge amount of work at his remote farmhouse. Before the job started, he stopped by their garden center for some supplies, and was treated like a dirt bag by the employees. He took it all in stride and called the owner of the company the next day. He explained that he had been treated like a nuisance at the store, by condescending employees who couldn't be bothered to wait on him. He then told the owner that the $20K worth of work they were about to start would be given to a competitor.  Ouch........

[bogart]

I can tell you that my mom, who drives a car any Mustachian would be proud to own (~'97 Corolla sedan with that weird patchy paint condition some older Toyotas seem to get) was driving home from a friend's house on a semi rural road at maybe 10 p.m. recently and was pulled over.

My mom's in her 70s, very middle class (and polite), and it would be physically impossible to be more Anglo Saxon in appearance (or, indeed, ethnic background) than she is.

She got pulled over and could only think maybe a brake light was out.  She said when the police officer walked up to the car he seemed very surprised to find her inside it.  First he told her that her license plate was expired (it wasn't) and then that he couldn't read the sticker on it to tell whether it was or wasn't expired (well, OK, but ...).  Then he let her go on her way (of course the license checked out through the automated system).

Her theory (and mine) is that his intention was to pull over a Hispanic man, of whom there are many driving cars similar in vintage and condition to my mom's, in the area where she was driving, in hopes of catching someone driving without a license, or worse.  Of course we'll never know.

[caliq]

I can tell you that my mom, who drives a car any Mustachian would be proud to own (~'97 Corolla sedan with that weird patchy paint condition some older Toyotas seem to get) was driving home from a friend's house on a semi rural road at maybe 10 p.m. recently and was pulled over.

My mom's in her 70s, very middle class (and polite), and it would be physically impossible to be more Anglo Saxon in appearance (or, indeed, ethnic background) than she is.

She got pulled over and could only think maybe a brake light was out.  She said when the police officer walked up to the car he seemed very surprised to find her inside it.  First he told her that her license plate was expired (it wasn't) and then that he couldn't read the sticker on it to tell whether it was or wasn't expired (well, OK, but ...).  Then he let her go on her way (of course the license checked out through the automated system).

Her theory (and mine) is that his intention was to pull over a Hispanic man, of whom there are many driving cars similar in vintage and condition to my mom's, in the area where she was driving, in hopes of catching someone driving without a license, or worse.  Of course we'll never know.

I have had a lot of experiences like this.  I'm young, female, and also very very white, but I used to drive a bright red '99 Pontiac Grand Prix GTP.  It was turbo (super?) charged and super cool and had a stupid Fox Racing decal on it from the teenaged boy that owned it before I did.  I got pulled over CONSTANTLY in that car...and out of 6 or 8 traffic stops, got a speeding ticket once.  The rest of the times, I got warnings or stupid tickets for a tail light out (was not out), missing insurance card (valid insurance but we forgot to put the new card in), etc. 

Now I drive a 2010 Ford Fusion and I haven't gotten pulled over once in it.  Granted, I've gotten a little older and I definitely don't drive like a maniac anymore but I do go over the speed limit on a regular basis.  Also, I tend to burst into tears during stressful situations which probably helps my case with the cops in terms of warnings vs. tickets, but I can't wrap my head around any other reason for the huge disparity in frequency of traffic stops that I've experienced, except for that the cars project a very different image of the driver.  It's such BS :(

[Gin1984]

I can tell you that my mom, who drives a car any Mustachian would be proud to own (~'97 Corolla sedan with that weird patchy paint condition some older Toyotas seem to get) was driving home from a friend's house on a semi rural road at maybe 10 p.m. recently and was pulled over.

My mom's in her 70s, very middle class (and polite), and it would be physically impossible to be more Anglo Saxon in appearance (or, indeed, ethnic background) than she is.

She got pulled over and could only think maybe a brake light was out.  She said when the police officer walked up to the car he seemed very surprised to find her inside it.  First he told her that her license plate was expired (it wasn't) and then that he couldn't read the sticker on it to tell whether it was or wasn't expired (well, OK, but ...).  Then he let her go on her way (of course the license checked out through the automated system).

Her theory (and mine) is that his intention was to pull over a Hispanic man, of whom there are many driving cars similar in vintage and condition to my mom's, in the area where she was driving, in hopes of catching someone driving without a license, or worse.  Of course we'll never know.

My husband is Hispanic and in the year and half we lived in San Jose, Ca he was pulled over five times, just counting the times I was in the car to see it.  In the five years we have lived in Buffalo (where they have no idea what he is but most assume white) he has not been pulled over once.
The behavior I have witnessed is ridiculous and needs to stop.

[bzzzt]

Her theory (and mine) is that his intention was to pull over a Hispanic man, of whom there are many driving cars similar in vintage and condition to my mom's, in the area where she was driving, in hopes of catching someone driving without a license, or worse.  Of course we'll never know.

It's illegal to profile the people, but not illegal to profile the car. I've driven around with cop friends and they guess the license status (suspended, revoked, etc) of the operator based on the car/state of disrepair. According to them, it's a 50/50 shot. People break so many driving laws every day, it's not hard to find a reason to pull them over (speeding, expired tags, lights out, no front plate, etc.)

Don't want to be hassled? Drive an "invisible" car. Muted colors, decent shape, no dumb shit (limo tints, stupid stickers, fuzzy dice, truck nuts, etc). It helps.

[Knapptyme]

Here's a good one.

When my wife and I were pregnant with our first child, we biked to the OBGYN appointments. After the first appointment having had insurance cover everything but a copay and looking rather presentable, we were signed up without our knowledge for Healthy Start to contact us. A letter from them came in the mail. We thought nothing of it because we didn't know what it was. My wife mentioned this off-hand to a colleague who was appalled for us. Apparently, Healthy Start is generally for poor people. We asked other people in our birthing class if they got anything from Healthy Start--nope. The only thing we could think of that triggered the mailing was someone in the OBGYN office saw us biking to the appointments.

The real issue is that maintaining a healthy lifestyle (i.e. biking) while pregnant should be encouraged. Rather than a being lauded for doing what is good, we were labeled poor because we didn't drive a car. Weird.

[Lmoot]

There is nothing I love more than being underestimated. Even if the offender never discovers their crime, I still get a smug sense of satisfaction from it. Immature I'm sure, but still.

When I bought my house at 25, mortgaged through my local bank, they kept trying to convince me to go through FHA...even though I told them I wanted to do conventional and had the 20% down. I said no, I only want to do conventional. I got a call later from the agent who again tried to convince me to go FHA and said "Well I'll send you the paperwork along with the conventional paperwork so you can see it for yourself and decide." I got the package in the mail...and she only sent me the FHA, no conventional paperwork. I had to call and make sure they understood that hell would have to freeze over before I would do FHA since I can afford conventional, remove any mention of it from whatever "log" they are keeping on me and send me the correct paperwork. This was not a case of a banker with a heart trying to steer a young clueless person away from making a financial mistake....I was borrowing just over 50% of what THEY offered to loan me, had $0 debt, and with the house a DTI ratio at the time of 15.7%.

For context I am a single, biracial (aka black), female. My first reaction was incredulous anger, but then I began to look at it as a complement. I don't want to say that it was because of my race, but for whatever reason this person couldn't believe (despite sending in my paperwork) that I could buy a house without going through FHA, and that could only mean one thing....I am unbelievable! :)

I can't wait to see the faces when they see my 800+ credit score (okay, currently in the high 770's but I'll be there when I buy my 2nd property).

As someone who looks younger than 30 (I've been told almost every single time my age is revealed), and is a minority female who drives a 12 year old Honda with failed paint, I experience this constantly and I've learned to get addicted to the feeling of vindication...even when it's an internal vindication. It doesn't matter that I have a 50k + networth (which I'm proud of, being single and making less than 50k most years), which IMO does not mean someone should be treated better, however I can't help but feel that if I acted/ dressed like someone less in the know would expect from someone with that networth, I wouldn't run into the same sorts of situations.

I'm not clean and I know I've judged too, and I feel like an absolute idiot each time I'm proven wrong.

[Hotstreak]

Rather than a being lauded for doing what is good, we were labeled poor because we didn't drive a car. Weird.

Not really weird!  Most folks riding their bikes around are poor.  Typically people who can afford cars, do!  Going without a motorized vehicle to save money is very unusual, even if good.

[caliq]

When I bought my house at 25, mortgaged through my local bank, they kept trying to convince me to go through FHA...even though I told them I wanted to do conventional and had the 20% down. I said no, I only want to do conventional. I got a call later from the agent who again tried to convince me to go FHA and said "Well I'll send you the paperwork along with the conventional paperwork so you can see it for yourself and decide." I got the package in the mail...and she only sent me the FHA, no conventional paperwork. I had to call and make sure they understood that hell would have to freeze over before I would do FHA since I can afford conventional, remove any mention of it from whatever "log" they are keeping on me and send me the correct paperwork. This was not a case of a banker with a heart trying to steer a young clueless person away from making a financial mistake....I was borrowing just over 50% of what THEY offered to loan me, had $0 debt, and with the house a DTI ratio at the time of 15.7%.

I get that everyone judges everyone else based on initial appearance but to insist multiple times and then not send you the proper paperwork?  That's super insulting!

I really like your attitude about this though and I shall try to apply it to myself when faced with similar things! :)  I'm in my early twenties and quite short -- people often think I'm a teenager and don't really give me the time of day or speak to me like a peer.  It's really frustrating, because I'm married and a homeowner and doing/thinking lots of things that teenagers do not do/think!  A few weeks ago I got a call (on my cell phone) from a maintenance company to schedule something and when I answered, the woman asked me if my mom was home...  It was very confusing and I nearly hung up on her!  It annoyed me a lot especially in light of other similar situations, but to apply your logic, I guess it just means I'm way ahead of the curve and doing things people don't expect from someone my age :D

[sisca]

I feel like a lot of people treat us like we are kinda poor and with limited options. I guess the car isn't as shine new as most peoples car, which sometimes triggers a few comments. Other times it is other reasons. If you opt out of spending all your income and mortgaging your future, people generally think you are poor. Even people who know me fairly well sometimes do this.

[climber1]

Yeah, there is definitely a difference in treatment based on how wealthy you are perceived to be. I am just out of college and look young for my age so most people probably guess I am still in college. When shopping in high end stores (art galleries for example), the customer service is usually poor. However, when I wear my corporate swag (I work at a Silicon Valley tech company), it suddenly becomes much better.

[Miss Prim]

I'm not treated differently, but most people at work can not figure out how we can travel so much with me only working part-time and they know hubby has a small part-time office cleaning business. 

What they don't realize is that we have 2 rental incomes coming in, husband's pension he started at 55 and we have been very frugal for years.  No house payment, no car payments, no cable bill, etc. Our biggest category in mint is travel, because we would rather do that then buy consumer goods and new cars.

I usually don't feel sorry for people who cry the blues about not having any money, because we never made a whole lot and look where we are.  We just spent what we had on things that would generate income, not take it away.                               
                                                                           Miss Prim

[boy_bye]

When I was in college I broke my arm one night at work. A week or so later I went to the orthopedist for my follow up appointment and as I recall I was going through a dirty punk phase at the time ... And the doc and all his support staff treated me like a total dirtbag.

When I mentioned the fancy university I was attending, they treated me a lot better. A lot.

[libertarian4321]

Remember the bully from high school?  The one who picked on kids who were smaller or dumber than he was, but was afraid to start in with anyone who might be able to fight back?

Odds are, he's still a bully, but with a government issued badge and a gun.

Why do cops pick on the poor and stupid?  Because bullies never change, they pick on the weak- those who can't or won't fight back.

They generally won't mess with someone who appears wealthy, educated, and/or appears to know (and be willing to stand up for) his rights- because those folks won't put up with his blustering bull crap.



And yes, I know, not all cops are bullies.  I just suspect a significant percentage of those who are bullies tend to gravitate toward law enforcment (where else can a "C" student get power over people?)

[sheepstache]

I can tell you that my mom, who drives a car any Mustachian would be proud to own (~'97 Corolla sedan with that weird patchy paint condition some older Toyotas seem to get) was driving home from a friend's house on a semi rural road at maybe 10 p.m. recently and was pulled over.

My mom's in her 70s, very middle class (and polite), and it would be physically impossible to be more Anglo Saxon in appearance (or, indeed, ethnic background) than she is.

She got pulled over and could only think maybe a brake light was out.  She said when the police officer walked up to the car he seemed very surprised to find her inside it.  First he told her that her license plate was expired (it wasn't) and then that he couldn't read the sticker on it to tell whether it was or wasn't expired (well, OK, but ...).  Then he let her go on her way (of course the license checked out through the automated system).

Her theory (and mine) is that his intention was to pull over a Hispanic man, of whom there are many driving cars similar in vintage and condition to my mom's, in the area where she was driving, in hopes of catching someone driving without a license, or worse.  Of course we'll never know.

I have had a lot of experiences like this.  I'm young, female, and also very very white, but I used to drive a bright red '99 Pontiac Grand Prix GTP.  It was turbo (super?) charged and super cool and had a stupid Fox Racing decal on it from the teenaged boy that owned it before I did.  I got pulled over CONSTANTLY in that car...and out of 6 or 8 traffic stops, got a speeding ticket once.  The rest of the times, I got warnings or stupid tickets for a tail light out (was not out), missing insurance card (valid insurance but we forgot to put the new card in), etc. 

Now I drive a 2010 Ford Fusion and I haven't gotten pulled over once in it.  Granted, I've gotten a little older and I definitely don't drive like a maniac anymore but I do go over the speed limit on a regular basis.  Also, I tend to burst into tears during stressful situations which probably helps my case with the cops in terms of warnings vs. tickets, but I can't wrap my head around any other reason for the huge disparity in frequency of traffic stops that I've experienced, except for that the cars project a very different image of the driver.  It's such BS :(

My friend used this to her advantage by driving a soccer-mom minivan in highschool. No tickets ever. She called it The Lawbreaker.

[2527]

Oh yeah, for sure, people respond to what is presented to them.  People invariably treat me better when they know my net worth.

[Bob W]

Several years ago I was pulled over and had a warrant out for failing to pay a traffic. (I like to push the limits).   I had my work clothes on - nice shirt, tie, dress slacks, dress shoes.  The state patrol said that he was required to cuff me but would not due to my attire.  He let me sit up front!     Wear a suit and tie and you can get away with anything.   

[TheThirstyStag]

I can tell you that my mom, who drives a car any Mustachian would be proud to own (~'97 Corolla sedan with that weird patchy paint condition some older Toyotas seem to get) was driving home from a friend's house on a semi rural road at maybe 10 p.m. recently and was pulled over.

My mom's in her 70s, very middle class (and polite), and it would be physically impossible to be more Anglo Saxon in appearance (or, indeed, ethnic background) than she is.

She got pulled over and could only think maybe a brake light was out.  She said when the police officer walked up to the car he seemed very surprised to find her inside it.  First he told her that her license plate was expired (it wasn't) and then that he couldn't read the sticker on it to tell whether it was or wasn't expired (well, OK, but ...).  Then he let her go on her way (of course the license checked out through the automated system).

Her theory (and mine) is that his intention was to pull over a Hispanic man, of whom there are many driving cars similar in vintage and condition to my mom's, in the area where she was driving, in hopes of catching someone driving without a license, or worse.  Of course we'll never know.

I have had a lot of experiences like this.  I'm young, female, and also very very white, but I used to drive a bright red '99 Pontiac Grand Prix GTP.  It was turbo (super?) charged and super cool and had a stupid Fox Racing decal on it from the teenaged boy that owned it before I did.  I got pulled over CONSTANTLY in that car...and out of 6 or 8 traffic stops, got a speeding ticket once.  The rest of the times, I got warnings or stupid tickets for a tail light out (was not out), missing insurance card (valid insurance but we forgot to put the new card in), etc. 

Now I drive a 2010 Ford Fusion and I haven't gotten pulled over once in it.  Granted, I've gotten a little older and I definitely don't drive like a maniac anymore but I do go over the speed limit on a regular basis.  Also, I tend to burst into tears during stressful situations which probably helps my case with the cops in terms of warnings vs. tickets, but I can't wrap my head around any other reason for the huge disparity in frequency of traffic stops that I've experienced, except for that the cars project a very different image of the driver.  It's such BS :(

This is precisely why I almost bought a Grand Marquis :)

[franklin w. dixon]

Thank goodness you didn't sneeze or blink or "make furtive movements" or whatever or he woulda murdered you in cold blood and gotten away with it.

[SONKEV]

Cops have to put up with a lot of crap in the poorer areas. I work in SF every day and I will literally see people cussing cops out or spew profanities when they're stopped at stop signs with their windows rolled down. People don't do that in the nicer areas (...THAT'S WHY they live in the nicer areas) People who tend to make generally better life decisions are separated from those that don't. And YES there is a stereotype because of that, what other pretense is there when a cop knows he may have to make split life decisions in a flash? It's his mental body armor.

And don't tell me to give everyone a blank slate when the cop works and goes through that area every single day and its the same old thing. No one knows unless they have worked in the actual profession. And yes there are cops who are just jerks, having bad days, or are even racist. But that's no reason to stereotype right?? :P

[viper155]

Some of you guys really need to walk in the shoes of a cop for one day....do you have any idea the amount of BS a cop goes through on a daily basis with, probably ...

[MOD EDIT: slightly veiled racism removed.  We can see through "certain types" and "urban" males and all those sorts of references.]

[franklin w. dixon]

Is racism bannable on these forums? Because the white supremacists are coming out, predictably.

[franklin w. dixon]

Poor, poor Mr. Cop-cop! He has the limitless authority to be a violent roid-rage thickneck asshole at all times, to mercilessly brutalize helpless suspects and to murder people on camera and face no repercussion. But someone SWORE at him! Mr. Cop-cop needs his binky for a cry-cry!

[SONKEV]

Poor, poor Mr. Cop-cop! He has the limitless authority to be a violent roid-rage thickneck asshole at all times, to mercilessly brutalize helpless suspects and to murder people on camera and face no repercussion. But someone SWORE at him! Mr. Cop-cop needs his binky for a cry-cry!

Is trolling bannable?

[franklin w. dixon]

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[This_Is_My_Username]

My parents are giving a large gift of cash to all of their kids (my siblings and I).

But they want to buy me a new car instead of giving me the cash, because I drive a cheap old car.

 : (

[babysnowbyrd]

There is nothing I love more than being underestimated. Even if the offender never discovers their crime, I still get a smug sense of satisfaction from it. Immature I'm sure, but still.

When I bought my house at 25, mortgaged through my local bank, they kept trying to convince me to go through FHA...even though I told them I wanted to do conventional and had the 20% down. I said no, I only want to do conventional. I got a call later from the agent who again tried to convince me to go FHA and said "Well I'll send you the paperwork along with the conventional paperwork so you can see it for yourself and decide." I got the package in the mail...and she only sent me the FHA, no conventional paperwork. I had to call and make sure they understood that hell would have to freeze over before I would do FHA since I can afford conventional, remove any mention of it from whatever "log" they are keeping on me and send me the correct paperwork. This was not a case of a banker with a heart trying to steer a young clueless person away from making a financial mistake....I was borrowing just over 50% of what THEY offered to loan me, had $0 debt, and with the house a DTI ratio at the time of 15.7%.

For context I am a single, biracial (aka black), female. My first reaction was incredulous anger, but then I began to look at it as a complement. I don't want to say that it was because of my race, but for whatever reason this person couldn't believe (despite sending in my paperwork) that I could buy a house without going through FHA, and that could only mean one thing....I am unbelievable! :)

I can't wait to see the faces when they see my 800+ credit score (okay, currently in the high 770's but I'll be there when I buy my 2nd property).

As someone who looks younger than 30 (I've been told almost every single time my age is revealed), and is a minority female who drives a 12 year old Honda with failed paint, I experience this constantly and I've learned to get addicted to the feeling of vindication...even when it's an internal vindication. It doesn't matter that I have a 50k + networth (which I'm proud of, being single and making less than 50k most years), which IMO does not mean someone should be treated better, however I can't help but feel that if I acted/ dressed like someone less in the know would expect from someone with that networth, I wouldn't run into the same sorts of situations.

I'm not clean and I know I've judged too, and I feel like an absolute idiot each time I'm proven wrong.

Love your story! And love your willingness to admit being on the other side. We've all been there, but sometimes it's easy to get into a frenzy over things like this without taking a step back to remember we also contribute sometimes. Helped me get off my high horse. Thanks!

[babysnowbyrd]

Some of you guys really need to walk in the shoes of a cop for one day....do you have any idea the amount of BS a cop goes through on a daily basis with, probably, 90% of it perpetrated by the same "type" individuals? The same groups of people commit most of the crimes cops deal with day in and day out. Racial profiling is not unfair, it's so painfully obvious not to do it.

This is a good point. If I was a cop, having people CONSTANTLY lying to me all day long would make me paranoid and cynical pretty quickly. And for this cop, someone did tell him they directly followed me after the accident. I'd be more inclined to think the accused was lying than the witness.

[Blindsquirrel]

If you want to see what the police are up to. Visit http://www.policemisconduct.net/    In the twp I live in things missing from the local evidence room are drugs, computers, $18,000 in cash and an ATV weighing about 900 lbs. Amazing how it walked out by itself. :) We have 3rd word police in USA, we just do not admit it.

[Outlier]

Her theory (and mine) is that his intention was to pull over a Hispanic man, of whom there are many driving cars similar in vintage and condition to my mom's, in the area where she was driving, in hopes of catching someone driving without a license, or worse.  Of course we'll never know.

It's illegal to profile the people, but not illegal to profile the car. I've driven around with cop friends and they guess the license status (suspended, revoked, etc) of the operator based on the car/state of disrepair. According to them, it's a 50/50 shot. People break so many driving laws every day, it's not hard to find a reason to pull them over (speeding, expired tags, lights out, no front plate, etc.)

Don't want to be hassled? Drive an "invisible" car. Muted colors, decent shape, no dumb shit (limo tints, stupid stickers, fuzzy dice, truck nuts, etc). It helps.

I recently owned a 2001 creme colored town car with tinted windows and an AARP sticker on the back window. It was a cop cloaking device. I drove 10+ over the speed limit past known speed traps and they never looked at me. Cars get profiled by cops. They don't pull over retired white people who have nothing but time to bitch about them to their bosses.

[NICE!]

We have 3rd word police in USA, we just do not admit it.

I'm sorry but this is demonstrably false and it sounds like you're simply using hyperbole that fits your worldview. I've lived in Sub-Saharan Africa, Asia, spent time in Eastern Europe, and elsewhere. I can say based upon my experiences and actual data that I've read in actual reports created by actual researchers that American police are not like "3rd world" (nice outdated term, btw) police.

Should we improve our policing in the US? Abso-friggin-lutely. Body cameras? Probably a good idea. Break down the power of the "shield" and the police unions that protect bad cops? Definitely. Reform drug laws and other ridiculous "tough on crime" laws? Hell yes.

But, like it or not, these are first world problems. Try getting the cops or court system to help you out if your husband just raped you and you happen to be a Nigerian or Pakistani. Good luck with that.

[Adventine]

We have 3rd word police in USA, we just do not admit it.

I'm sorry but this is demonstrably false and it sounds like you're simply using hyperbole that fits your worldview. I've lived in Sub-Saharan Africa, Asia, spent time in Eastern Europe, and elsewhere. I can say based upon my experiences and actual data that I've read in actual reports created by actual researchers that American police are not like "3rd world" (nice outdated term, btw) police.

Should we improve our policing in the US? Abso-friggin-lutely. Body cameras? Probably a good idea. Break down the power of the "shield" and the police unions that protect bad cops? Definitely. Reform drug laws and other ridiculous "tough on crime" laws? Hell yes.

But, like it or not, these are first world problems. Try getting the cops or court system to help you out if your husband just raped you and you happen to be a Nigerian or Pakistani. Good luck with that.

+1000, as I actually live in the Third World.

[dragoncar]

On any given day, I could look like a wealthy lawyer or a high school kid.  Actually I can look like both on the same day (I change into street clothes when I ride home and my neighbor said she mistook me for a neighborhood kid once).

I tend to think I get away with more shit when I look like a kid/poor college student.  People are more likely to give me a better deal (when they have that discretion) or comp me on something.

That said, rule #1 is don't talk to cops.  I can't imagine I would ever open the door for a cop who just showed up at my house out of the blue, and certainly not continue the conversation after being accused of a crime.

[paddedhat]

That said, rule #1 is don't talk to cops.  I can't imagine I would ever open the door for a cop who just showed up at my house out of the blue, and certainly not continue the conversation after being accused of a crime.

Excellent point. Don't forget to teach it to your kids as they become teens.

My son was sitting on the back porch of his sorry ass dump of a rental house, at his university. He wasn't bothering anybody, just studying for an exam. Out of the corner of his eye he spots a well known local plain clothes cop. As soon as he makes eye contact, the cop accuses him of smoking dope, since he "smelled some weed". My son, and the kid next to him, both deny the fabricated charges. The cop walks up the porch steps, and both boys stand up and step toward this piece of shit. The cop tries to lighten the situation with a bit of small talk, but the boys know to just stare and not engage. The cop then casually opens the back screen door and starts to enter the house. My son reaches in front of the guy, and blocks him with his arm. The cop slams into my kids arm. By now junior is not in the mood for the game, and he asks the cop, "where do you think you're going?" The cop says, "I'm just going to take a look around, you got a problem with that?". My kid replies, "you got a warrant?  If not, get off the porch, now" 

I was glad that he had enough balls and upbringing to protect himself. The town cops are dirty as hell, and are known for lying under oath, and taking pride in their "Rodney King" stomps of any drunken college kid who gets in their way. The POS he booted off the porch is the worst of the pack. It's been a few years now,  my kid is a successful engineer, the other kid is a real sharp geologist. Who knows what might of happened to their careers if this cop had the run of the house to plant evidence, or fabricate other garbage.

I've known too many of them to think otherwise. Cops are best avoided, and handled with a great deal of caution, if you have to interact with them. I once watched a highly respected family friend and noted defense attorney as he grilled a cop on the stand. It was tough not to laugh as he said," don't worry officer, we will take this slow, and I'll help you keep your lies straight"

[r3dt4rget]

I've known too many of them to think otherwise. Cops are best avoided, and handled with a great deal of caution, if you have to interact with them. I once watched a highly respected family friend and noted defense attorney as he grilled a cop on the stand. It was tough not to laugh as he said," don't worry officer, we will take this slow, and I'll help you keep your lies straight"

You speak as if cops are another species. We are all humans. If you were to replace the word cop with a race, religion, etc. you would probably be called a bigot, racist, etc. You are generalizing a group of professionals based on your own personal experiences. That's not healthy. Instead, you should say "This cop was a dick", not "Because of this one incident, all cops are dicks". The only people I have met with a bad attitude toward police are those involved in or with people involved in criminal activity.

The best way to have a good relationship with police is to not break the law, and don't associate with people or area's which are involved in crime or suspicious activities. You have to understand what it's like to be a cop. In poor area's with high crime, you aren't likely to see many friendly cops who will give you the benefit of doubt. You shouldn't expect to meet Officer Friendly each time. Think of what they deal with in those areas. Criminals lying, a risk of injury/death, etc. It's a hazardous job that requires a thick outer skin and aggressive people skills.

Back to OP, I think the rude cop was just trying to do a good job. He received a really good tip that made sense. You just happened to be unlucky to drive the same car. Think about if it was the actual perp and not you. That perp would lie and try to get out of it. It requires some aggressive and "bullying" to read someone and get information. It shouldn't be taken personally. If he just walked up to your door, asked if you did it, and accepted your first answer without question that would not be very good police work.

[dragoncar]

I've known too many of them to think otherwise. Cops are best avoided, and handled with a great deal of caution, if you have to interact with them. I once watched a highly respected family friend and noted defense attorney as he grilled a cop on the stand. It was tough not to laugh as he said," don't worry officer, we will take this slow, and I'll help you keep your lies straight"

You speak as if cops are another species. We are all humans.

Except cops are humans given exceptional legal authority and must be held to a different standard.

[ltt]

Talk about a topic that's gone totally off-topic.