Author Topic: Got everything I wanted in life  (Read 10658 times)

BOP Mustache

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Got everything I wanted in life
« on: October 23, 2018, 02:09:36 PM »
I'm 29, and turn 30 in a few weeks time.

If you had asked me by the time I'm 30 what I wanted to achieve, I've got almost all of it.

I'm a warehouse manager which is a job I've been dreaming of since I was around 22. I've got a company car and a good salary. I live in a nice house with little debt on it. I've got married to the woman of my wildest dreams this year and we have our first baby on the way. My health is good, I eat well and exercise regularly and have a great relationship with my parents, sister and our circle of friends. We moved recently which has an 8 minute commute to work and we live by a nice beach.

I really don't long for much else in life.

So what left is there to strive for? I'm content with less and don't have unrelenting ambition that I used to have in my early 20s.

It seems like not an issue at all as many people strive to reach this point. But being such a goal oriented person who decides on a goal, writes it down, achieves it and ticks it off, I've done this now.

mathlete

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Re: Got everything I wanted in life
« Reply #1 on: October 23, 2018, 02:13:53 PM »
So what left is there to strive for?

Humility.

mathlete

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Re: Got everything I wanted in life
« Reply #2 on: October 23, 2018, 02:18:08 PM »
Really though, I do relate. We're basically the same age. I have almost everything I want outside of children (which I'm not sure how bad I really want them) and financial independence.

I've been pretty listless at work lately. If I worked hard, I could accelerate my FIRE timeline by a year or two. Maybe I could do a little bit more with regards to helping out family or charity. That hasn't been enough to motivate me thus far though.

Samuel

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Re: Got everything I wanted in life
« Reply #3 on: October 23, 2018, 02:18:52 PM »

So what left is there to strive for?

Meaningful service to others.

11ducks

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Re: Got everything I wanted in life
« Reply #4 on: October 23, 2018, 02:55:19 PM »
I get that, and it's awesome you can appreciate all of the facets of your life fully. Rather than striving for more, I spend time 'tending my garden' - making sure I appreciate and upkeep all of the awesome things/relationships/health that I have. While I love life now, I make sure to put in solid savings, spend meaningful time with family and friends, care for my physical health etc so that the next phases of my life are just as good as the current ones. Yes, plugging away can be boring and a bit mundane after actively striving for goals- but it's just as important /necessary I think.

mxt0133

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Re: Got everything I wanted in life
« Reply #5 on: October 23, 2018, 03:37:02 PM »
Ahh, the old, I've checked off everything in my list, now what question.  You will get a different answer for everyone that address your question.  I guess you could put that one as an item on your list and literally spend the rest of your life trying to answer, "what is the meaning of life?"

I personally realized the limitations of leading a goal oriented life, because of the scenario you are currently in.  The approach I am taking at the moment is to appreciate and fully experience life as it is, along the line's of Allan Watt's take on the question.  His answer to the question, "What is the meaning of life?", was "To live life."

Let us know when you figure it out.

use2betrix

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Re: Got everything I wanted in life
« Reply #6 on: October 23, 2018, 04:18:31 PM »
Sounds like you’re off to a great start!

1. Do you enjoy your job so much you’d do it for free? If not, I’d have FIRE as a goal
2. Are you FI? Even if you like your job, there’s a lot of comfort for securing FI.
3. Have you funded a 529 for that new baby? If not, that’d be on my list.
4. If anything were to happen to you, would your wife be financially secure in your absence? Many have mixed feelings, but for me, getting a life insurance policy lifted a big burden off my shoulders, should anything ever happen to me.

I’m the same age and have been very fortunate. Last year my wife and I took 8 months of sabbatical and traveled the world. I currently have an insanely good job with great hours and benefits, an amazing boss and coworkers, making nearly $300k/yr without a 4 year degree. I get free tickets to pro sporting events and other amazing perks. Yet - after my sabbaticals I am unfulfilled. I just don’t have a strong passion in my work, and thus am working hard towards at least a partial FIRE. Most people my age, or any age, especially in my industry, would kill for my job. I like it more than many jobs, and the pays better, but I’d rather FIRE and travel and build things. Maybe start a small business doing such.

bugbaby

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Re: Got everything I wanted in life
« Reply #7 on: October 23, 2018, 04:43:15 PM »
Be grateful for what you have, but realize that even a practice of gratitude (even intensely, sincerely felt gratitude) won't inoculate you from misfortune. You've worked hard, yes, but you've also been wildly, flagrantly lucky to be where you are today.  If someone upstairs says it's your turn, it's your turn. 

Be humble.
Truth.

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undercover

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Re: Got everything I wanted in life
« Reply #8 on: October 23, 2018, 05:29:27 PM »
It's time to self-destruct. Throw it all away. Go through tremendous amounts of pain. Move somewhere new and start from scratch and try building it up again.

J/K. Terrible shit does happen all the time, but probably not to the point where you will ever need to start completely over. Where there's order, chaos is sure to follow. I think it's worth it to practice stoicism though.

Remember that no matter what, one day you will lose everything you have. It may happen gradually or all at once, but it IS guaranteed to happen. Let that realization sink in and keep you from being too comfortable.

As others have said, you could focus on accelerating FIRE. After that, spend your time trying to get in the best shape possible and conquer many new ideas and challenges. Hike the PCT. Write a book. Do an iron man. Start a small business.

Overall, comfort = weakness. Constantly challenge yourself. Don't limit your horizons to finances.
« Last Edit: October 23, 2018, 09:11:31 PM by undercover »

Luck12

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Re: Got everything I wanted in life
« Reply #9 on: October 23, 2018, 06:13:07 PM »

So what left is there to strive for? I'm content with less and don't have unrelenting ambition that I used to have in my early 20s.


Volunteering for good causes, political activism (text banking, phone banking, canvassing), hiking/travel in different places, learning new languages, running a triathlon or marathon, learn a new sport. 

okits

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Re: Got everything I wanted in life
« Reply #10 on: October 23, 2018, 11:06:51 PM »

So what left is there to strive for?

Meaningful service to others.

This is my answer, too.  I have been very fortunate.  In recent years my main pursuits have been service to my family and to others going through medical difficulties.  While the goal is to benefit people other than myself, I have been, at times, very happy and gratified by working towards the happiness and well-being of others.

Congratulations on your marriage and for the baby on the way!

kei te pai

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Re: Got everything I wanted in life
« Reply #11 on: October 24, 2018, 02:40:54 AM »
I suggest revisiting this question about say 3 months after your baby arrives.
A full nights sleep comes to mind!
But seriously, having responsibility for a new little human, and thinking about the world they will inherit might bring a different perspective from where you are now.

Linea_Norway

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Re: Got everything I wanted in life
« Reply #12 on: October 24, 2018, 05:51:52 AM »
I suggest revisiting this question about say 3 months after your baby arrives.
A full nights sleep comes to mind!

That was what I thought...

It is a good habit to count your blessings. That is one of the skills for becoming a happy person, having focus on your positives.

And otherwise, learn new skills, get new hobbies, make yourself useful in some form of volunteering.



dude

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Re: Got everything I wanted in life
« Reply #13 on: October 24, 2018, 07:42:00 AM »
I'm 29, and turn 30 in a few weeks time.

If you had asked me by the time I'm 30 what I wanted to achieve, I've got almost all of it.

I'm a warehouse manager which is a job I've been dreaming of since I was around 22. I've got a company car and a good salary. I live in a nice house with little debt on it. I've got married to the woman of my wildest dreams this year and we have our first baby on the way. My health is good, I eat well and exercise regularly and have a great relationship with my parents, sister and our circle of friends. We moved recently which has an 8 minute commute to work and we live by a nice beach.

I really don't long for much else in life.

So what left is there to strive for? I'm content with less and don't have unrelenting ambition that I used to have in my early 20s.

It seems like not an issue at all as many people strive to reach this point. But being such a goal oriented person who decides on a goal, writes it down, achieves it and ticks it off, I've done this now.

Sounds like life has been pretty hunky-dory. My advice would be to prepare for the downsides of life -- they happen to everyone sooner or later, and if life's been a breeze up to now, it might be tough to deal with adversity. So steel yourself for that inevitability. Practice Stoicism, visualize shit going bad, and how you might deal with it.

SunnyDays

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Re: Got everything I wanted in life
« Reply #14 on: October 24, 2018, 10:11:36 AM »
Appreciate the great place you're in now.  Because it won't last :)  Stuff happens, and it will happen to you, it's just a matter of time.  Not trying to be a downer, that's just the nature of life.  No one gets off scot-free, so ENJOY this phase.

MNBen

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Re: Got everything I wanted in life
« Reply #15 on: October 24, 2018, 11:21:43 AM »

So what left is there to strive for?

Meaningful service to others.

I'll reword this answer to say....  Help others to also get everything they ever wanted.

In other words, you got what you wanted.  Maybe you overcame some obstacles, or maybe there weren't too many obstacles.  But there are plenty of others who have obstacles and with just a little help, they could make a lot of progress on their goals too.

LostGirl

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Re: Got everything I wanted in life
« Reply #16 on: October 24, 2018, 11:33:18 AM »
I feel like this is me looking back at my younger self! Kudos to you for feeling like you have shit dialed. 

Just enjoy! But also think about the basic human needs, contribution and growth are in there. Think about growing and contributing, whatever that means to you. Also enjoy and take a pause. That baby will come and you might feel a bit differently in the newborn lack of sleep haze.

o2bfree

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Re: Got everything I wanted in life
« Reply #17 on: October 24, 2018, 01:39:54 PM »
Study thoroughly your desires to strive and attain; understand them deeply, then you will be free of them and be able to deal with whatever comes your way.

big_slacker

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Re: Got everything I wanted in life
« Reply #18 on: October 24, 2018, 01:49:00 PM »
Like you, in my early 30's I had a really good job, bought a house, married an awesome girl and generally couldn't believe my good fortune. There was still more to come, and there will be for you as well. I would say important things to think about:

1. Feeling good with yourself whether things get 'better' or 'worse'. The book hardwiring happiness is a great read, there are I'm sure others.
2. Build in the lifestyle habits that will keep you at your best. This means physical (nutrition, exercise), emotional and spiritual if you're into that kind of thing.
3. Always work on self improvement of some type. This will keep you from stagnating.
4. Be ready for the crucible that parenthood is. Sleep dep, MASSIVE reduction in freedom/added responsibility that you can't avoid will test your character. Be ready. Be ready not just to bear the burden but to ENJOY IT. :)

Erica

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Re: Got everything I wanted in life
« Reply #19 on: October 24, 2018, 08:38:29 PM »
I'm 29, and turn 30 in a few weeks time.

If you had asked me by the time I'm 30 what I wanted to achieve, I've got almost all of it.

I'm a warehouse manager which is a job I've been dreaming of since I was around 22. I've got a company car and a good salary. I live in a nice house with little debt on it. I've got married to the woman of my wildest dreams this year and we have our first baby on the way. My health is good, I eat well and exercise regularly and have a great relationship with my parents, sister and our circle of friends. We moved recently which has an 8 minute commute to work and we live by a nice beach.

I really don't long for much else in life.

So what left is there to strive for? I'm content with less and don't have unrelenting ambition that I used to have in my early 20s.

It seems like not an issue at all as many people strive to reach this point. But being such a goal oriented person who decides on a goal, writes it down, achieves it and ticks it off, I've done this now.
Get to know your Creator. God of the Bible. Otherwise all you've accomplished is mute.
I do congratulate you though. Glad you are happy and have good relationships with your family and friends

[MOD NOTE: you're going to start arguments we don't need.  You shouldn't suggest other people's lives are pointless if they don't share your beliefs.]
« Last Edit: October 31, 2018, 06:05:45 AM by FrugalToque »

zolotiyeruki

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Re: Got everything I wanted in life
« Reply #20 on: October 24, 2018, 09:09:06 PM »
I'd say first of all, you're in a great place. Practice gratitude daily!  Next, continue to court your wife. There will come hard times in life, when you'll need to draw strength from that relationship, so work to strengthen it every day.

Laura33

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Re: Got everything I wanted in life
« Reply #21 on: October 25, 2018, 12:42:02 PM »
First, congratulations.  You have worked hard and achieved a lot, so enjoy it!  Simply enjoying it makes it even better -- there are days I look out the window and think, how the fuck did I end up with this husband, with this family, with this job, with this house, etc. etc. etc.  And even just having those thoughts gives me a glow for the rest of the day.

Second, you are asking the right question.  You have met your basic needs and then some, you have accomplished the goals you set out to early on in life.  So what now?  Well, what is meaningful to you?  If you've satisfied your ambition and money goals, maybe the next promotion or bigger house or whatever isn't what you need to strive for -- and kudos to you for recognizing that at this point instead of chasing achievement and bigger/better for the next 20 years.  So what does matter?  Spending time with your kid?  Improving your physical health?  Devoting more energy to your church, or to a charity that is meaningful to you? 

Life can be a little bit of an oxymoron, because being so goal-oriented that you feel adrift without something else to achieve doesn't tend to breed real happiness; and yet at the same time, if we aren't stretching ourselves, growing, learning, being challenged, we wither away into meh-ness and boredom.  I think the happy medium, one you have everything you need and most of what you want, is to focus on challenging yourself in different ways that are far more meaningful than just getting another raise or a better car or whatever.

And also:  yeah, revisit this question in a few months.  I have a sense some of that search for meaning may be, shall we say, subsumed by other, more pressing needs for a bit. ;-)  So just enjoy where you are right now -- enjoy the hell out of still being the two of you, and the excitement of not knowing what comes next -- and then circle back to the bigger questions when you feel ready for them again.

TVRodriguez

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Re: Got everything I wanted in life
« Reply #22 on: October 25, 2018, 01:41:01 PM »
Your next challenge is gestating right now . . . I'd enjoy the calm before the (amazing) storm.  :) 

moof

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Re: Got everything I wanted in life
« Reply #23 on: October 25, 2018, 03:14:58 PM »
My real world experience hiking up a few mountain peaks has always left me disappointed.  The top is just rocks that no longer go any higher, and now you have to go down.  You sometimes get a decent view, but rarely is the summit much more of a view than you get anywhere above tree line.  I've stopped doing any peak bagging, as it is hollow and pointless to me.  I still climb, backpack, get outside, etc.

I hit some peaks early in my career and had the same revelation.  I got a promotion a decade ahead of when I normally should have, and felt worse and unworthy as a result.  I still enjoy individual project challenges and still enjoy solving technical problems.  I don't however have any desire to get promoted, gain titles, or get awards anymore.  Salary increases are great  I enjoy being useful, being part of a team, being part of building something and knowing am part of a major accomplishment.  More than all that I like being a husband and father (cliche', but true).  I wish I could FIRE today to spend more time with family and less on work, despite work being reasonably fulfilling.

So go find the next thing to be fulfilling for you, and chase it.  Helping others in need usually more fulfilling than chasing titles or buying "stuff".

talltexan

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Re: Got everything I wanted in life
« Reply #24 on: October 26, 2018, 07:22:09 AM »
I actually think there's an MMM column about this:

http://www.mrmoneymustache.com/2014/11/23/not-extreme-frugality/

Congratulations for the hard work and smart choices that have gotten you this far! You are part of this wonderful community of people--and some of them here are ahead of you still--who seek to answer questions exactly like what you're asking.

dollarchaser

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Re: Got everything I wanted in life
« Reply #25 on: October 26, 2018, 08:53:15 AM »
Become a student of something.  Karate, yoga, fly fishing,etc. Lifelong pursuits can give perspective of the progression of life.

BicycleB

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Re: Got everything I wanted in life
« Reply #26 on: October 26, 2018, 10:28:21 AM »
OP, maybe preparation is the thing to do now, but think of preparation broadly.

Preparations can include learning about pregnancy and child development, not just obtaining a crib and making sure your dwelling is in good repair.  As an example, maybe read "What to Expect When You're Expecting" to gain insight on your wife's pregnancy experience. Find similar books/articles about the early stages of a child's life. Invite reflections from your support network (parents, friends, etc) about birth, parenting, and so on. Take concrete steps to express to your support network how much you appreciate the feeling that their support is part of your life - throw a "thank you for being in our life" party, send loving text messages, take parents on a picnic, etc. 

All of these things build your mental, emotional and social capital in case difficulties arise.

And as others have said, set your daily life so that you are on track to achieve FI at some reasonable date. Have a plan to get there at 45 or 50, perhaps, rather than expecting your nice job to exist from now until you're 65. (You know this, otherwise you wouldn't be here...just being complete.)

And maybe...start a diary or FB page or something, recording your feelings of joy in a format your child and spouse can refer to later? If you get killed in an accident, that could be invaluable.

Ah, yes. Get a will made! And buy some term life insurance so your family is financially safe if that truck hits you.

Apparently my job today is to think of sad scenarios for you! For the record, I hope your wonderful life path continues.

« Last Edit: October 26, 2018, 10:33:46 AM by BicycleB »

happyfeet

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Re: Got everything I wanted in life
« Reply #27 on: October 26, 2018, 06:19:14 PM »
I will tell you, I thought I had it all - all my life.  Married.  32 years.  A grandchild.  Two successful kids - 30 and 26 - one an amazing engineer - doing some super cool stuff.

And the people who say shit happens.  It does.
 
It happened to me.  In the version of a divorce with Ex involved with the young secretary at work. I was a SAHM.  Scary stuff, trying to navigate life at age 60.

So enjoy the good.  Be humble.  Serve others.  LBYM.  And truly, the shit of life makes you a stronger and hopefully more empathic and kind human.

Whether it be health, finances, or love - no one gets through life without crap.

foobaz

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Re: Got everything I wanted in life
« Reply #28 on: October 26, 2018, 09:13:06 PM »
Way to go! getting to where you are is a difficult achievement for many people. As to where to go from here, I don't know, but all it takes is for you to discover one thing you're passionate about and you can use it to drive your life.

stifeler

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Re: Got everything I wanted in life
« Reply #29 on: October 28, 2018, 06:05:05 AM »
I’m the same age and have been very fortunate. Last year my wife and I took 8 months of sabbatical and traveled the world. I currently have an insanely good job with great hours and benefits, an amazing boss and coworkers, making nearly $300k/yr without a 4 year degree. I get free tickets to pro sporting events and other amazing perks. Yet - after my sabbaticals I am unfulfilled. I just don’t have a strong passion in my work, and thus am working hard towards at least a partial FIRE. Most people my age, or any age, especially in my industry, would kill for my job. I like it more than many jobs, and the pays better, but I’d rather FIRE and travel and build things. Maybe start a small business doing such.
Wow that sounds amazing.  Will you share what line of work your in so I can tell my kids to get into it in the future lol.  Then I can save their college fund to help my FIRE.

BOP Mustache

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Re: Got everything I wanted in life
« Reply #30 on: October 29, 2018, 02:21:09 PM »
OP here,

So have thought about this for the last couple of weeks. Have realized that what's next is giving back in some way. Instead of simply living, I think giving back to the community I'm involved in is the way forward. I've looked at coaching kids sports teams (but after approaching the club, realise that it's best to wait until we have our own kids so we can get to know the parents and our childs friends).

I've then looking into mentoring young men (teenagers) who have been brought up by single mothers and are lacking a male role model. I think this is a great way to give back and help young men in the career, finances, health, wellbeing and just general life issues and goals).

Other things I've considered are a community garden, volunteering at a hospital, planting native trees, etc. The one on one with someone who really needs the help seems like a good fit. I'm meeting up with the coordinator for it next week with the aim to be matched up with someone in the new year.

Feels good to give back and I haven't even started yet.

NorthernBlitz

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Re: Got everything I wanted in life
« Reply #31 on: October 30, 2018, 08:17:01 AM »
OP here,

So have thought about this for the last couple of weeks. Have realized that what's next is giving back in some way. Instead of simply living, I think giving back to the community I'm involved in is the way forward. I've looked at coaching kids sports teams (but after approaching the club, realize that it's best to wait until we have our own kids so we can get to know the parents and our childs friends).

I've then looking into mentoring young men (teenagers) who have been brought up by single mothers and are lacking a male role model. I think this is a great way to give back and help young men in the career, finances, health, wellbeing and just general life issues and goals).

Other things I've considered are a community garden, volunteering at a hospital, planting native trees, etc. The one on one with someone who really needs the help seems like a good fit. I'm meeting up with the coordinator for it next week with the aim to be matched up with someone in the new year.

Feels good to give back and I haven't even started yet.

I've never personally participated in something like a Big Brother program.

But apparently there is data out there that suggests that it's actually bad for the children being mentored.

I'd listen to something like this which presents the data that suggests that the results of these programs are the opposite of the intentended effect:
http://freakonomics.com/podcast/when-helping-hurts/

I post this because I regularly listen to Freakonomics and I found this particular episode shocking.

Excerpt
"SAYRE-McCORD: On all seven measures — we’re talking, how long did you live? Were you a criminal? Were you mentally healthy, physically healthy, alcoholic, satisfied with your job; satisfied with your marriage? On all seven measures, the treatment group did statistically, significantly worse off than the control group.

DUBNER: Wow. Wow. In other words, “I was in this program. I liked it. The data show, however, that I came out worse because of the program than someone who was in the program as a control and didn’t get the treatment.”

SAYRE-McCORD: I should emphasize that there also seemed to be what’s called a dose effect — the longer the intervention, the more likely the damage would be done.

DUBNER: Which is yet a stronger argument against the intervention …

SAYRE-McCORD: That’s exactly right. So her reaction, at first, was disbelief. For a long time she would look at the data and think she’s not getting anything, this is really frustrating. She re-ran data and re-ran data and isolated elements to confirm. I remember her thinking, in effect, “Oh no, I’ve screwed up. Something’s wrong!

...

SAYRE-McCORD: And that’s one of the important things people who are engaged in social interventions really don’t spend much time thinking, “I may be screwing this person over.” They are self-conscious about, “Maybe this won’t work, but I’ve got to try!”

DUBNER: Wow, that’s just an amazingly interesting and heartbreaking result. What was your response? Your mom was your intellectual hero. You were a mentor, yourself, in part because of her first of all. Let’s start with that. What did you do as a mentor to that kid?

SAYRE-McCORD: I stopped being a mentor.

DUBNER: You’re kidding me.

SAYRE-McCORD: No. It was complicated. She told me the results. She knew I was serving as a mentor and that I was enjoying it. And she basically gave me all the reason to think that to the extent I was doing this to help someone, I shouldn’t think I am."


Again, this is not my field or anywhere near my expertise.

But this particular source seemed to say that the science on Big Brother type programs suggests that they don't work. I wasn't personally considering volunteering in a program like this, so I haven't tried to research the counter argument.

NorthernBlitz

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Re: Got everything I wanted in life
« Reply #32 on: October 30, 2018, 12:16:11 PM »
But apparently there is data out there that suggests that it's actually bad for the children being mentored.
Make sure to read the whole transcript. It's a lot more complicated than "being mentored is bad for mentees."

I would definitely recommend listening and reading.

It seems like a complicated issue.

kei te pai

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Re: Got everything I wanted in life
« Reply #33 on: October 31, 2018, 02:56:02 AM »
Well this thread has taken a path of its own, maybe time for some gentle redirection before its locked.
I am interested in knowing at what stage of life others have started questioning and evaluating the purpose of their life.
I had a passion for my work in my 20s and 30s, but became disillusioned by my 40s, and burnt out by the next decade.
Retirement has been a liberation, and also a time of reflection and renewal.

FrugalToque

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Re: Got everything I wanted in life
« Reply #34 on: October 31, 2018, 04:46:34 AM »
MOD NOTE:  Since we didn't seem to get the picture from the edits I did, let's make this clear:

I spent several minutes cleaning out this thread
It is not acceptable to come into this forum and tell people their lives are meaningless without [insert religion]
 (That's not even acceptable in normal company, never mind violating the forum rules)
All that sort of thing does it create a flame war and drive the OP's thread off topic.
We maintain a healthy separation between Church and 'Stache.
http://www.mrmoneymustache.com/2011/05/19/mr-money-mustache-vs-dave-ramsey/

Thank you.  Please don't go there again.
Toque

Maenad

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Re: Got everything I wanted in life
« Reply #35 on: October 31, 2018, 07:54:11 AM »
I am interested in knowing at what stage of life others have started questioning and evaluating the purpose of their life.

I've never been passionate about my career, so my life's purpose has been a constant source of introspection since I left my parents' house.

Now my mother is in failing health, and the inability of material goods or wealth to make me happy has never been more clear. Right now I feel like my purpose lies in spending time with loved ones, as much as I can, and being as kind and supportive as I can. FIRE will help with that, so I'm more enthused about that than ever.

kei te pai

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Re: Got everything I wanted in life
« Reply #36 on: November 01, 2018, 01:54:36 AM »
Having substantial savings enabled me to reduce my working hours, and then leave work to care for my mother in her own home for several months before she died of cancer. It was very hard, but very worthwhile. Being free to do this without financial pressure was wonderful.
I agree that being kind and supporting those you love (and even those you maybe don't love so much!) gives meaning to life.

BeanCounter

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Re: Got everything I wanted in life
« Reply #37 on: November 01, 2018, 04:43:44 AM »
OP, I’m glad you are happy and content. Enjoy this calm before the storm. While I think spending some time volunteering is a great goal, I would recommend you put this off a few years, or ten. You’re about to have a baby. A baby, a job, and a wife. You’re about to be busier and more exhausted than you have ever been in your life. As is your wife. You’ll both be scrambling for personal time. Not a good time to add in volunteering.

big_owl

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Re: Got everything I wanted in life
« Reply #38 on: November 01, 2018, 05:59:45 AM »
LaFerrari

TVRodriguez

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Re: Got everything I wanted in life
« Reply #39 on: November 01, 2018, 02:02:01 PM »

I am interested in knowing at what stage of life others have started questioning and evaluating the purpose of their life.


Since you asked:
I think I was 11 when I started questioning and evaluating the purpose of life.  I chose law as a profession over seeking a PhD in English literature because I saw law as more useful. [insert lawyer joke here]

As an adult, after a year of working as a lawyer in a litigation firm, the Twin Towers went down, taking down one of the firms where I had interviewed.  Figured I could have been in the tower as it went down and decided it would be bad to die at a job I really did not enjoy.  Two months later, I left litigation and started in trusts & estates law, where I could do work for individuals instead of large companies.  Ten years later, I changed my practice again to suit more "regular" people clients.  Now I have a solo practice where I set the billables, choose the clients, and choose the hours I work.  I make enough.  I like how I spend most days.  I do work with a nonprofit sometimes.  I have time for my kids.

And now I have an 11 year old who is questioning the meaning of life.

crybaby

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Re: Got everything I wanted in life
« Reply #40 on: November 02, 2018, 09:53:55 AM »
I wasnt seeing that coming.

So the author mostly said he is happy with his life and with that he achieved so far.

In a community like this, I would say most of the replies would have been to congratulate him and to give him some credit for getting a good job (it seems they dont come from the sky) or getting a good relationship with people (it also seems to have some "work" behind it). Also he didnt said that his life have been all pink and probably he isnt Bill Gates son.

Some talked about humility. So the guy is out of his world in happiness for having a job as a warehouse manager, a loaned car, a house in debt and a good spouse, and he isnt humble?

Who is humble, the people earning 100k+, having a big home, 2 or 3 cars, a million the bank, and still moaning that they deserve more every single day?

Theres hundreds of persons with the same as him that prefers to see the downside of things. The job isnt good enough, the car has 5 years, the spouse is a bit fat, the house only have 4 bathrooms, and so on.

And why in the topics where someone reaches FIRE or the 2nd or 3rd million theres a round of applauses and here theres many posts with things like "things are gonna get worse", "prepare yourself with a will", "you may be ran over by a van", "you'll die" and so on?

I'm pretty sure that those arguments are the ones that the people that criticize FIRE use all the way, lets spend now because we dont know the tomorrow.

Sincerely, I even registered after lurking for some months because I didnt understood this approach.

Congratulations for the people with the other approach.

LaDeeDa

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Re: Got everything I wanted in life
« Reply #41 on: November 02, 2018, 10:24:29 AM »
I'm totally with you, OP. I have everything I could have wished for. I even set new goals a couple years ago to become more philanthropic, and am hitting those as well. So now I'm wondering, what is the next level? How can I dream bigger? What is holding me back from seeing that next vision?

It does feel like a double edged sword some days. I'm thrilled with my life, but feel that old song "If that's all there is my friends, then let's keep dancing".

Last time I felt this way I hired a life coach who helped me clarify my next vision and work to achieve that. I just started that same process again as I feel I have the chance to make my life even more extraordinary.



BicycleB

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Re: Got everything I wanted in life
« Reply #42 on: November 02, 2018, 07:43:01 PM »
@LaDeeDa, congratulations and keep up the good work. Let us know what happens!  :)

Hopefully you and OP will both be enjoying continued prosperity, and whatever higher forms of fulfillment suit you.

John Galt incarnate!

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Re: Got everything I wanted in life
« Reply #43 on: November 03, 2018, 05:18:20 PM »




It is a good habit to count your blessings. That is one of the skills for becoming a happy person, having focus on your positives.


[/quote]

I concur.

Though to some it may be platitudinous I firmly  believe that gratitude is the font of happiness.

big_slacker

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Re: Got everything I wanted in life
« Reply #44 on: November 03, 2018, 08:40:21 PM »
I wasnt seeing that coming.

So the author mostly said he is happy with his life and with that he achieved so far.

In a community like this, I would say most of the replies would have been to congratulate him and to give him some credit for getting a good job (it seems they dont come from the sky) or getting a good relationship with people (it also seems to have some "work" behind it). Also he didnt said that his life have been all pink and probably he isnt Bill Gates son.

Some talked about humility. So the guy is out of his world in happiness for having a job as a warehouse manager, a loaned car, a house in debt and a good spouse, and he isnt humble?

Who is humble, the people earning 100k+, having a big home, 2 or 3 cars, a million the bank, and still moaning that they deserve more every single day?

Theres hundreds of persons with the same as him that prefers to see the downside of things. The job isnt good enough, the car has 5 years, the spouse is a bit fat, the house only have 4 bathrooms, and so on.

And why in the topics where someone reaches FIRE or the 2nd or 3rd million theres a round of applauses and here theres many posts with things like "things are gonna get worse", "prepare yourself with a will", "you may be ran over by a van", "you'll die" and so on?

I'm pretty sure that those arguments are the ones that the people that criticize FIRE use all the way, lets spend now because we dont know the tomorrow.

Sincerely, I even registered after lurking for some months because I didnt understood this approach.

Congratulations for the people with the other approach.

Don't get what you're saying. Most of the replies have been positive and there are quite a few giving congrats, 6 including yourself giving it using that particular word.

Most of the rest recognized the tone of the post, someone facing a (nice) existential crisis that some of us have run into ourselves, and given advice. Are you getting something different from the thread?

Abe

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Re: Got everything I wanted in life
« Reply #45 on: November 03, 2018, 10:50:14 PM »
That baby is going to turn your world upside down! I’d strive for 1. Sleep and 2. Learning more patience (however much you have, will need 1.5x). You’re in a good spot and I’d say you are humble and seem to have your head on straight. But wow, raising a kid is pretty nuts. Best of luck!