Goal for a newstachian with a spend addicted wife.

[BJC]

Deleted

[debbie does duncan]

The question is how much can you NOT spend.

[Tyson]

I think a good approach is to start using Mint or You Need a Budget or some other budgeting software, track what you are spending now in various categories, then (with your wife's involvement) create $$ amounts that can be spent each month in each category.  I know for my wife, once she saw the monthly and yearly totals of her "treat myself" purchase like fancy coffees, she had an aha moment. 

[woopwoop]

She's only got seven more years until a full pension? Are you shooting for FIRE earlier than that, or what? And be careful with the whole "force her" into the mindset - does she WANT to FIRE, or is this something only you want to do? (although at seven years, you'd still be retiring way early)

[Glenstache]

I think a good approach is to start using Mint or You Need a Budget or some other budgeting software, track what you are spending now in various categories, then (with your wife's involvement) create $$ amounts that can be spent each month in each category.  I know for my wife, once she saw the monthly and yearly totals of her "treat myself" purchase like fancy coffees, she had an aha moment.

This is really good advice. Get the data. She may or may not have an aha moment, but it provides an impartial way to have the conversation as partners rather than it being an exciting (to you) abstraction. If she's already primed to consider FIRE, it will be an easy conversation. If not, then at least you have a good foundation.

[BJC]

Thank you all for the guidance.

Anyone have any thoughts on a reasonable goal in our situation?

[johnny847]

MrsWhipple said it above. You can't force your wife into this mindset. You can lead by example but trying to force her is going to end badly

Before you make any plans you should change this mentality first.

[katsiki]

I would try to discuss and set some common goals with your wife (if you haven't already).  My wife and I are different in this regard.  She started coming around in the last year or so, due to a shared goal we have.  Good luck.

[Dicey]

Given that she's the one this close to a full federal pension, your best move is to make sure you don't get divorced.

[kayvent]

As many people have already said, it is not something you can force upon her. A husband-wife should be one unit, striving to fulfill and work towards a common agenda. If you don't already know her heart's desires around retiring (ex. does she want to travel, downsize, etc...) trying to persuade her of a lifestyle change is missing the forest for the trees.

For all you've disclosed, it is possible that your desires could already be aligned and you just don't know. I have a friend who's been FIRE'd for over ten years and his wife is still working and may continue to for the next five (they both could have FIRE'd). She's an academic and loves her work. He plays golf everyday and volunteers. They go on outings in nature parks, kayaking, etc...