Poll

Who will retire first?  Husband or wife?

Husband
27 (51.9%)
Wife
19 (36.5%)
Same Time
6 (11.5%)

Total Members Voted: 52

Author Topic: First to retire, husband or wife?  (Read 6969 times)

Gone Fishing

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First to retire, husband or wife?
« on: November 18, 2014, 12:36:53 PM »
In the "normal" retirement senarios, it seems like the wife is first to retire, but it seems like among the ER crowd husbands tend to check out first.  Who was (or is going to be first) in your family?

deborah

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Re: First to retire, husband or wife?
« Reply #1 on: November 18, 2014, 12:44:36 PM »
Disagree - most normal retirement scenarios I have seen (and I have been to a lot of retirement seminars), have the man retiring first. This is mainly due to the fact that men tend to be older than their wives. I also know a lot of normal retirees - and in all the cases I can think of, the men retired before their wives.

So where do you get your information from?

Eric

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Re: First to retire, husband or wife?
« Reply #2 on: November 18, 2014, 12:47:00 PM »
Both?  We're racing towards FIRE to be able to actually spend time with each other.

Cheddar Stacker

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Re: First to retire, husband or wife?
« Reply #3 on: November 18, 2014, 12:47:16 PM »
I can't vote because I don't know. My wife could retire today and it would hardly affect my FIRE plans. But she isn't excited about FIRE, and she sometimes likes her job. Lately she's hinted at maybe not wanting to have a job. If I had to vote, I'd say wife, but I could also see me checking out for good and her wanting to keep a foot in the door for another 10 years after me.

MandalayVA

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Re: First to retire, husband or wife?
« Reply #4 on: November 18, 2014, 12:48:12 PM »
My plan is to go when Mr. Mandalay does, max of six years from now.

Emilyngh

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Re: First to retire, husband or wife?
« Reply #5 on: November 18, 2014, 12:50:26 PM »
Eh, depends on what's required to be "retired."

DH is a SAHP and does not work outside of the home.   I think most wouldn't consider that retired, but what if when I "retire" DD is still not 18 and we are both SAHP in a way, are neither of us retired?   Is MMM not retired then because there's a kid at home?  Or is a SAHP retired?   Or will DH be considered "retired" when DD goes to school fulltime?   How many hours per week would he have to work outside of the home to then not be considered "retired"?   

I guess to me, the word "retired" does not seem to apply so well unless both partners have very traditional careers (and probably generally applies less consistently for women than men), which is why I prefer talking about things in terms of FI.   We should be FI in about 10-15 years and will reach this milestone at the exact same time, together.

NumberCruncher

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Re: First to retire, husband or wife?
« Reply #6 on: November 18, 2014, 01:57:21 PM »
Both?  We're racing towards FIRE to be able to actually spend time with each other.

+1


Can't answer the poll as SO and I are planning on FIREing together. There are also gay couples on here who would be unable to answer :P


It feels like there's usually one side of a couple that is more interested in retirement generally, and this board might skew male (I feel like there was a poll for that somewhere?). Maybe that's why it seems the husband retires first in ER scenarios? I'd question the "women retire first in a normal retirement scenario" assumption, too.

It's hard to find numbers on something like who retires first in a couple, but the average age of retirement does differ - 64 for men and 62 for women http://www.gallup.com/poll/168707/average-retirement-age-rises.aspx  But then again, men are typically older, by about two years as well http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Age_at_first_marriage There has to be some research somewhere that covers "who typically retires first?"

Ah, here we go: http://www.aarp.org/work/retirement-planning/info-08-2010/when_your_spouse_retiresand_you_dontwhat_changes_when_one_of_you_drops_out_a_lot_.2.html
Quote
A 2004 study by the Center for Retirement Research at Boston College found that fewer than one in five couples retired in the same year. Generally the husband stopped working first.

So it seems that with the new norm of dual income households, husbands typically retire first, as they're typically older. And it used to be retiring around the same time:

Quote
Formerly, “women would follow their husbands out of the labor market,” says Richard Johnson, a senior fellow at the Urban Institute. “Now as women’s employment is becoming more important, they’re more likely to keep working even after their husbands retire.”

Catbert

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Re: First to retire, husband or wife?
« Reply #7 on: November 18, 2014, 02:19:49 PM »
DH retired first because he's 5 years older, hated his job and got a buy-out offer.

Jon_Snow

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Re: First to retire, husband or wife?
« Reply #8 on: November 18, 2014, 02:22:31 PM »
I (hubby) retired first. Although high paying, my job was inherently stressful and physically dangerous (two potentially fatal close calls). Once we reached a certain "number" I had no hesistation on pulling the plug - without the meat-grinder job, these past two months have been the best of my adult life. My wife loves her job, and unlike myself, is unsure how she would fill in the hours of the day without it - though I think she may be starting to get it, watching my metamorphasis up close.

Sometimes I wish she would join me in ER , then we would be free to spend months at time at our condo in the Baja - but then again, her choice to continue working will pad the "stache" some more, and allow our lifestyle to be potentially higher in retirement once she joins me. She thinks she wants to work another 5 years - but is also threatening 10... I am lobbying for 3. :)

tofuchampion

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Re: First to retire, husband or wife?
« Reply #9 on: November 18, 2014, 09:03:31 PM »
I will (wife).  This is only because it's a priority for me and I'm willing to make sacrifices to make it happen.  He likes the idea in theory, but isn't currently willing to change his spendthrift habits.  That could change, of course.  It would be entirely possible for us to retire at the same time, but I don't really see that happening.

FoundPeace

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Re: First to retire, husband or wife?
« Reply #10 on: November 19, 2014, 12:55:30 AM »
My wife is a SAHM right now, and we'll be FI shortly after the kids are in school. My wife loved being a teacher before she quit and she wants to do it even after we are FI. I on the other hand am interested in FIREing and becoming a ski instructor or something that will allow us to have summers together.

Miss Prim

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Re: First to retire, husband or wife?
« Reply #11 on: November 19, 2014, 06:19:31 AM »
Retiring at the same time here.  Although, my husband wants to keep his small office cleaning business going.  I'd prefer that he give it up because it will interfere with us travelling for longer periods than 2 weeks at a time.

He is freaking out about not having enough money to retire since he doesn't handle the finances, I do.  I keep telling him we have enough and since he will be collecting SS. (He'll be 66) and not saving a lot of money per month anymore, we actually might be in a higher income bracket at retirement!  That is why I am delaying taking SS. until 65 or 66  (I'm 61)  and will pull out just enough from 403b to stay in a lower tax bracket to get subsidy for healthcare and start Roth pipeline. 

dude

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Re: First to retire, husband or wife?
« Reply #12 on: November 19, 2014, 06:25:38 AM »
Me (husband) first, by probably 7 years.  I'm 7 years older than DW, I get a pension right away (Fed LEO), and I was saving aggressively long before we married.  But also, she actually likes her job and the people she works with, and has no desire to quit. I, on the other hand, am counting the days (not that I hate my job, it's just that I can think of a million things I'd so rather be doing!) until I can walk.

samburger

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Re: First to retire, husband or wife?
« Reply #13 on: November 21, 2014, 11:37:41 AM »
We're both the wives, so whether she goes first or I do, it'll be wife.

Gone Fishing

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Re: First to retire, husband or wife?
« Reply #14 on: November 21, 2014, 11:53:27 AM »
Option added.

Cassie

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Re: First to retire, husband or wife?
« Reply #15 on: November 23, 2014, 05:36:34 PM »
My hubby & I went together. 

southern granny

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Re: First to retire, husband or wife?
« Reply #16 on: November 23, 2014, 07:14:08 PM »
I put husband, but I'm not sure how to count our situation.  I retired from a government job with a pension.  I now work part time (25 hours a week).  My husband will retire completely within the next year.  I will continue to work part-time for the insurance benefits.  While working, I can cover both of us for $250 a month.  If I retire completely, It will cost us $700 a month.  If I lose my job, or get sick, we have sufficient savings to cover our expenses until he can get social security.    So, I was the first one to "semi-retire".  Husband first one to retire completely.  He has a very physical job, I have an easy (although not very fulfilling) office job. 

homehandymum

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Re: First to retire, husband or wife?
« Reply #17 on: November 24, 2014, 01:21:42 AM »
Define 'retired'.

We totally pool resources and finances, so although I'm currently not making an income (SAHP), I don't think of myself as 'retired' because we're not FI. 

If we hit FI it will be a team event.  Anyone who chooses to work beyond that point is just playing while they're 'retired', no?