I'm a new accountant got a job right out of college and I went straight into tax season. I thought the company would teach me but they just threw me work and expected me to know how to do it. I have become better but I feel like a failure because I keep making mistakes. I'm writing my self notes to I don't make the same mistakes but I'm afraid they are going to fire me. They have a intern and I think they like her better then me. I'm not sure what to do.
1. You've become better:) of course you have, because you take notes and you give it your all.
2. They are not going to fire you in the middle of tax season unless you are a serious screw up. Think of it as trial by fire:) They hired you because you have promise and because they had enough business to justify that particular position.
Unless they have a history of chewing up and spitting out college grads during tax season you are probably just fine:)
3. The intern may be a little ahead of you in the curve, but that doesn't necessarily mean a thing.
If it is a large company they may well have room for both of you or the intern already has other plans or receives a better offer from somewhere else or ...
Worst case scenario they let you go after the tax season - it happens, people do get fired, but it isn't the end of your career. It may be a company that is simply a bad fit for you and down the road, you'll be glad you tested your mettle and went on to find a better company to work for.
About the imposter syndrome - well, believe it or not, but regardless of the profession we all have it at times. Especially if you just got a nice raise and/or are tackling a difficult project. Professionals know that the trick is to keep learning and to get better and more efficient and therefore more valuable to your company. That gives you choices, like making more money at another company or moving up in the working world.
You assume the company holds all the cards and you may well feel insecure about not receiving helpful feedback or encouragement at this time - but reading the replies you received, your experience is nothing unusual and fits right in with the MO of tax accounting firms.
In reality, during this busy tax season, you may have a bit of leverage as long as you make it clear you have already learned a lot and are committed to becoming one of their best accountants ever. Ask for some feedback and see what happens - just don't let them see you sweat:)
Networking is key and since you are so new to it all - make it a habit from day one, by next year you'll be considerably better at evaluating what is really going within your company and if you keep your ear on the ground and continue to network you will also learn about the industry at large.
Hitting some of the forums as was suggested seems like a great way to start. Good companies have coaches and support in place, but even then it is always up to you to improve your skills and aim high.
You don't become a superstar professional overnight, it takes time and lots of practice.