Both my partner and I are burned out, it's hard.
He had been doing the responsible thing, 9-5 until two weeks before the shutdowns, when he quit. Um, whoops.
At age 45 though he is freaking out between the pandemic, shoulds/woulds. He put off the question for years about what he really wants to do with his life, is also afraid of not making much since he is used to valuing his time more. Plus the pandemic on top of everything.
He did a little bit of deliveries last year so as not to dip into emergency savings (good man). Finally got a (we thought) great job which had a few issues- the most important being commute which got terrible as things opened up here suddenly and sciatica acting up. So he quit after a month and two days later was done.
We are in totally different financial situations- I've hustled my whole life (age 39 now), doing what I wanted however- but it's only been in the last 2-3 years I've even known what a retirement account is let alone have the money to save for it. Seriously was living in poverty or just above it all this time. I also have 200k of student loans, although I don't feel as stressed about this due to understanding options (I'm on PAYE). I have a plan but also a lot of "catch up" to do. He was 250k from FIRE in January but his stocks went way down so now he's maybe halfway (IDK exactly). But he has a decent amount there (almost all in taxable brokerage) and his mortgage is close to done.
I've been in healthcare this past year (my other and formerly full time career, music, is close to shut down still, I am so lucky to have had what I've had this past year). We lost a lot of work and I went from working at 2 places, to 1, to now 6 in order to have extra job security with my fiance out of work.
I'm anxious AF, my employers don't give me good PPE, patients constantly pull down their masks and I have to remind them...now that vacccines are out even staff keeps not having masks on half the time. I 'm burnt out of hearing everyone's stories- I also work with a lot of POC and it's been a crazy year that way too especially in an urban center like I live in. Routinely I get people in and they start crying since I'm the first person who has touched them in months, or they've talked to in person outside their family. It's a lot. I know it could be worse like if I was in a hospital or dealing with COVID patients directly, but it's still affecting me? I have a lot of downtime with patients and end up having to "play therapist" a lot, which I'm ok to do up to a point.
I feel like I can't leave anything since my partner is out of work, even though he is by no means saying I have to. I think actually he would be supportive if I left but I keep feeling like I have to work in case something happened...he is still paying mortgage (good news tho! he actually recalculated the other day and found out it's not 7 years from paid off, but only 2-3). His investments have done well, but took a big dip from extremo levels where they were in January. There is still great potential but they aren't diversified well (5 growth stocks). I was really unprepared when he quit this most recent time, although at the same time realizing he had to. And I'm glad he realizes he is basically done with that field of work even if it's scary he doesn't know what's next. At the same time I've felt like he devalues my work too, it's been a lot of work for him to understand that even if my work isn't as physically taxing as his, it still takes a really big toll on me. I think it took the year of being out of work and just talking A LOT to really understand this and my boundaries/needs there, but I feel better about it.
Anyway there is a lot of uncertainty and I haven't reached the level of F it, let's go camping like he has (in the past when I was single I was never worried about money but I guess I had less responsibilities? IDK. I feel like I need to be provider even if he isn't asking for this). I'm afraid to leave what it took a few years for me to build up here. I also get confused on what exactly I need as barista/lean/coast FIRE, some calculators say I'm there, but others not- also have student loans/tax bomb to deal with