Author Topic: Feeling burned out. Anyone else?  (Read 58103 times)

Accrual

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Re: Feeling burned out. Anyone else?
« Reply #100 on: March 17, 2021, 07:07:39 PM »
Is there any chance that you could take a sabbatical after this tax season?  Burnout is no joke, and frankly, if you don't make the effort to ease up, then your mind and/or body may very well force you to do so at the most inconvenient time possible.

I left a job with nothing lined up due to burnout last year-- hilariously, right before the pandemic hit.  It's been over a year since then, and it's the best thing I could have ever done for myself.  Looking back on that time, I can't believe I was trying to tell myself, "everything is fine, I'm just a bit tired, power through a few more years and you'll be FIRE free!"  I was FUCKED UP, not quite at the point of total mental breakdown yet, but I'm pretty sure I was getting there.  Even now, I'm still experiencing symptoms related to it - anxiety spikes, my memory is shot and I'm missing big gaps, and my ability to focus is just barely recovering.

Dude I was approaching and would've eventually arrived at mental breakdown territory had it not been for medication. Nowadays I feel the symptoms you highlight: terrible memory, focus, anxiety, etc. When I lay in bed at night I can feel how tight my body is - tongue on roof of mouth, hands clinched, shoulders.

Trying to manage and get through with a better diet and more walks.

bbqbonelesswing

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Re: Feeling burned out. Anyone else?
« Reply #101 on: March 18, 2021, 05:04:25 PM »
Has anyone read this "Working Conditions Survey" from Goldman Sachs? It really makes me feel like I made the right decision by bailing on a career in finance and avoiding this toxic culture. Talk about burnout...

https://www.theguardian.com/business/2021/mar/18/group-of-junior-bankers-at-goldman-sachs-claim-inhumane-work-conditions

anotherAlias

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Re: Feeling burned out. Anyone else?
« Reply #102 on: March 18, 2021, 06:20:28 PM »
@Malcat  thank you so much for your contributions to this thread!  Your posts have me looking a lot closer at my current situation.  I've decided to retire next month to focus on my health and well being.  My current stress levels just aren't healthy anymore.  I had wanted a little more buffer in my stash but I'm willing to risk needing to get a part time min.wage job in the future if the stash takes a big hit.

Fish Sweet

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Re: Feeling burned out. Anyone else?
« Reply #103 on: March 18, 2021, 07:10:19 PM »
Is there any chance that you could take a sabbatical after this tax season?  Burnout is no joke, and frankly, if you don't make the effort to ease up, then your mind and/or body may very well force you to do so at the most inconvenient time possible.

I left a job with nothing lined up due to burnout last year-- hilariously, right before the pandemic hit.  It's been over a year since then, and it's the best thing I could have ever done for myself.  Looking back on that time, I can't believe I was trying to tell myself, "everything is fine, I'm just a bit tired, power through a few more years and you'll be FIRE free!"  I was FUCKED UP, not quite at the point of total mental breakdown yet, but I'm pretty sure I was getting there.  Even now, I'm still experiencing symptoms related to it - anxiety spikes, my memory is shot and I'm missing big gaps, and my ability to focus is just barely recovering.

Dude I was approaching and would've eventually arrived at mental breakdown territory had it not been for medication. Nowadays I feel the symptoms you highlight: terrible memory, focus, anxiety, etc. When I lay in bed at night I can feel how tight my body is - tongue on roof of mouth, hands clinched, shoulders.

Trying to manage and get through with a better diet and more walks.
Glad you're realizing how bad it's gotten, and I hope you're able to make it through this.  Walks & diet are great, but they're not able to fully substitute with giving your brain a damn break.

For me, I got to the point where I was regularly self medicating with alcohol and other things, and the realization that I was reaching for a beer because I associated it with 'feeling better' (rather than for the purposes of 'enjoying a beer') is part of what scared me into taking my burnout seriously.

Metalcat

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Re: Feeling burned out. Anyone else?
« Reply #104 on: March 18, 2021, 07:44:50 PM »
Is there any chance that you could take a sabbatical after this tax season?  Burnout is no joke, and frankly, if you don't make the effort to ease up, then your mind and/or body may very well force you to do so at the most inconvenient time possible.

I left a job with nothing lined up due to burnout last year-- hilariously, right before the pandemic hit.  It's been over a year since then, and it's the best thing I could have ever done for myself.  Looking back on that time, I can't believe I was trying to tell myself, "everything is fine, I'm just a bit tired, power through a few more years and you'll be FIRE free!"  I was FUCKED UP, not quite at the point of total mental breakdown yet, but I'm pretty sure I was getting there.  Even now, I'm still experiencing symptoms related to it - anxiety spikes, my memory is shot and I'm missing big gaps, and my ability to focus is just barely recovering.

Dude I was approaching and would've eventually arrived at mental breakdown territory had it not been for medication. Nowadays I feel the symptoms you highlight: terrible memory, focus, anxiety, etc. When I lay in bed at night I can feel how tight my body is - tongue on roof of mouth, hands clinched, shoulders.

Trying to manage and get through with a better diet and more walks.
Glad you're realizing how bad it's gotten, and I hope you're able to make it through this.  Walks & diet are great, but they're not able to fully substitute with giving your brain a damn break.

For me, I got to the point where I was regularly self medicating with alcohol and other things, and the realization that I was reaching for a beer because I associated it with 'feeling better' (rather than for the purposes of 'enjoying a beer') is part of what scared me into taking my burnout seriously.

Fun fact: I did the whole "long walks" thing early in my decompression last year because it would be "good for me".

I just found out yesterday that I now need bilateral hip surgeries.

Accrual

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Re: Feeling burned out. Anyone else?
« Reply #105 on: March 19, 2021, 06:09:38 AM »
Is there any chance that you could take a sabbatical after this tax season?  Burnout is no joke, and frankly, if you don't make the effort to ease up, then your mind and/or body may very well force you to do so at the most inconvenient time possible.

I left a job with nothing lined up due to burnout last year-- hilariously, right before the pandemic hit.  It's been over a year since then, and it's the best thing I could have ever done for myself.  Looking back on that time, I can't believe I was trying to tell myself, "everything is fine, I'm just a bit tired, power through a few more years and you'll be FIRE free!"  I was FUCKED UP, not quite at the point of total mental breakdown yet, but I'm pretty sure I was getting there.  Even now, I'm still experiencing symptoms related to it - anxiety spikes, my memory is shot and I'm missing big gaps, and my ability to focus is just barely recovering.

Dude I was approaching and would've eventually arrived at mental breakdown territory had it not been for medication. Nowadays I feel the symptoms you highlight: terrible memory, focus, anxiety, etc. When I lay in bed at night I can feel how tight my body is - tongue on roof of mouth, hands clinched, shoulders.

Trying to manage and get through with a better diet and more walks.
Glad you're realizing how bad it's gotten, and I hope you're able to make it through this.  Walks & diet are great, but they're not able to fully substitute with giving your brain a damn break.

For me, I got to the point where I was regularly self medicating with alcohol and other things, and the realization that I was reaching for a beer because I associated it with 'feeling better' (rather than for the purposes of 'enjoying a beer') is part of what scared me into taking my burnout seriously.

Thanks for the reply. Taking a week off from work next week. In your experience, there is no way to 'decompress' in such a short period of time, correct? One must take an extended break from work, or rather shift to a much less stressful work setting?

Metalcat

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Re: Feeling burned out. Anyone else?
« Reply #106 on: March 19, 2021, 06:32:21 AM »
Is there any chance that you could take a sabbatical after this tax season?  Burnout is no joke, and frankly, if you don't make the effort to ease up, then your mind and/or body may very well force you to do so at the most inconvenient time possible.

I left a job with nothing lined up due to burnout last year-- hilariously, right before the pandemic hit.  It's been over a year since then, and it's the best thing I could have ever done for myself.  Looking back on that time, I can't believe I was trying to tell myself, "everything is fine, I'm just a bit tired, power through a few more years and you'll be FIRE free!"  I was FUCKED UP, not quite at the point of total mental breakdown yet, but I'm pretty sure I was getting there.  Even now, I'm still experiencing symptoms related to it - anxiety spikes, my memory is shot and I'm missing big gaps, and my ability to focus is just barely recovering.

Dude I was approaching and would've eventually arrived at mental breakdown territory had it not been for medication. Nowadays I feel the symptoms you highlight: terrible memory, focus, anxiety, etc. When I lay in bed at night I can feel how tight my body is - tongue on roof of mouth, hands clinched, shoulders.

Trying to manage and get through with a better diet and more walks.
Glad you're realizing how bad it's gotten, and I hope you're able to make it through this.  Walks & diet are great, but they're not able to fully substitute with giving your brain a damn break.

For me, I got to the point where I was regularly self medicating with alcohol and other things, and the realization that I was reaching for a beer because I associated it with 'feeling better' (rather than for the purposes of 'enjoying a beer') is part of what scared me into taking my burnout seriously.

Thanks for the reply. Taking a week off from work next week. In your experience, there is no way to 'decompress' in such a short period of time, correct? One must take an extended break from work, or rather shift to a much less stressful work setting?

One week off if you're burnt out is like getting 5 minutes of charge for a dead phone.

OtherJen

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Re: Feeling burned out. Anyone else?
« Reply #107 on: March 19, 2021, 07:02:06 AM »
Is there any chance that you could take a sabbatical after this tax season?  Burnout is no joke, and frankly, if you don't make the effort to ease up, then your mind and/or body may very well force you to do so at the most inconvenient time possible.

I left a job with nothing lined up due to burnout last year-- hilariously, right before the pandemic hit.  It's been over a year since then, and it's the best thing I could have ever done for myself.  Looking back on that time, I can't believe I was trying to tell myself, "everything is fine, I'm just a bit tired, power through a few more years and you'll be FIRE free!"  I was FUCKED UP, not quite at the point of total mental breakdown yet, but I'm pretty sure I was getting there.  Even now, I'm still experiencing symptoms related to it - anxiety spikes, my memory is shot and I'm missing big gaps, and my ability to focus is just barely recovering.

Dude I was approaching and would've eventually arrived at mental breakdown territory had it not been for medication. Nowadays I feel the symptoms you highlight: terrible memory, focus, anxiety, etc. When I lay in bed at night I can feel how tight my body is - tongue on roof of mouth, hands clinched, shoulders.

Trying to manage and get through with a better diet and more walks.
Glad you're realizing how bad it's gotten, and I hope you're able to make it through this.  Walks & diet are great, but they're not able to fully substitute with giving your brain a damn break.

For me, I got to the point where I was regularly self medicating with alcohol and other things, and the realization that I was reaching for a beer because I associated it with 'feeling better' (rather than for the purposes of 'enjoying a beer') is part of what scared me into taking my burnout seriously.

Thanks for the reply. Taking a week off from work next week. In your experience, there is no way to 'decompress' in such a short period of time, correct? One must take an extended break from work, or rather shift to a much less stressful work setting?

One week off if you're burnt out is like getting 5 minutes of charge for a dead phone.

Pretty much. When I hit the tipping point, my boss at the time sent me home and told me to take a week off. I spent that week alternating between a semi-catatonic state and dread of returning and then came down with a severe upper respiratory infection a couple of weeks after returning to the toxic workplace because I was so rundown.

Metalcat

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Re: Feeling burned out. Anyone else?
« Reply #108 on: March 19, 2021, 07:09:03 AM »
Is there any chance that you could take a sabbatical after this tax season?  Burnout is no joke, and frankly, if you don't make the effort to ease up, then your mind and/or body may very well force you to do so at the most inconvenient time possible.

I left a job with nothing lined up due to burnout last year-- hilariously, right before the pandemic hit.  It's been over a year since then, and it's the best thing I could have ever done for myself.  Looking back on that time, I can't believe I was trying to tell myself, "everything is fine, I'm just a bit tired, power through a few more years and you'll be FIRE free!"  I was FUCKED UP, not quite at the point of total mental breakdown yet, but I'm pretty sure I was getting there.  Even now, I'm still experiencing symptoms related to it - anxiety spikes, my memory is shot and I'm missing big gaps, and my ability to focus is just barely recovering.

Dude I was approaching and would've eventually arrived at mental breakdown territory had it not been for medication. Nowadays I feel the symptoms you highlight: terrible memory, focus, anxiety, etc. When I lay in bed at night I can feel how tight my body is - tongue on roof of mouth, hands clinched, shoulders.

Trying to manage and get through with a better diet and more walks.
Glad you're realizing how bad it's gotten, and I hope you're able to make it through this.  Walks & diet are great, but they're not able to fully substitute with giving your brain a damn break.

For me, I got to the point where I was regularly self medicating with alcohol and other things, and the realization that I was reaching for a beer because I associated it with 'feeling better' (rather than for the purposes of 'enjoying a beer') is part of what scared me into taking my burnout seriously.

Thanks for the reply. Taking a week off from work next week. In your experience, there is no way to 'decompress' in such a short period of time, correct? One must take an extended break from work, or rather shift to a much less stressful work setting?

One week off if you're burnt out is like getting 5 minutes of charge for a dead phone.

Pretty much. When I hit the tipping point, my boss at the time sent me home and told me to take a week off. I spent that week alternating between a semi-catatonic state and dread of returning and then came down with a severe upper respiratory infection a couple of weeks after returning to the toxic workplace because I was so rundown.

I spent my entire honeymoon in a chronic state of severe anxiety and panic attacks, alternated with being drunk on champagne to try and numb out the gripping anxiety. Oh, and yeah, I got really sick as well. I was dead sick on my wedding day.

I was legitimately concerned about what chaos my absence would cause, which is why I never took time off. I returned to messes I could not clean up, which made me regret taking time off in the first place *for my own wedding*.

alsoknownasDean

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Re: Feeling burned out. Anyone else?
« Reply #109 on: March 19, 2021, 07:25:24 AM »
I've probably been either burnt out or just over work since at least mid last year (and probably before then). I've struggled with working from home which hasn't helped (going back to the office in a couple of weeks). My productivity is well down when I'm at home and my work hours are extending into my personal hours a bit (unusually I find working then is my most productive time).

It doesn't help that I've taken maybe ten days of annual leave in the last year, and five of those days were to move house. My last proper holiday was May 2019.

I'm looking at scheduling a bit of leave soon (for two long weekends in a row), followed by a longer two week break in May before things get really busy in June-July, and hopefully that'll help. I probably need to take more time off but that's only going to increase the pressure on the rest of the team. Maybe another couple of weeks in August is the way to go.

If taking leave doesn't help rekindle my enthusiasm for work, maybe it's time to start looking for a change?
« Last Edit: March 19, 2021, 07:37:34 AM by alsoknownasDean »

Morning Glory

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Re: Feeling burned out. Anyone else?
« Reply #110 on: March 19, 2021, 07:46:25 AM »
https://www.nbcnews.com/think/opinion/covid-shift-remote-work-placing-another-burden-women-housecleaning-ncna1261251

Saw this one yesterday. How has WFH contributed to your stress and burnout levels?

StarBright

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Re: Feeling burned out. Anyone else?
« Reply #111 on: March 19, 2021, 08:03:07 AM »
https://www.nbcnews.com/think/opinion/covid-shift-remote-work-placing-another-burden-women-housecleaning-ncna1261251

Saw this one yesterday. How has WFH contributed to your stress and burnout levels?

As the kids say,  "It Me!".

My kids and husband both went back to school a couple of weeks ago and the cleaning has dropped significantly. Now I only have clean up for two meals instead of three+ snacks. The general craft clutter is way toned down. And my floors are better because kids aren't traipsing in and out all day long. I don't think they've been gone long enough to tell if it makes a difference in the bathrooms, but I bet it does.

I've been a telecommuter for a decade so had a really good "clean the house" system down before covid hit a year ago. Everyone being constantly underfoot shot my system to hell.

Roots&Wings

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Re: Feeling burned out. Anyone else?
« Reply #112 on: March 19, 2021, 11:29:50 AM »
Also wanted to mention, if you have short and long term disability, don't be afraid to look into using this. I went on disability for an issue I could no longer avoid addressing last year, and it helped immensely with resetting things.

This may depend on your disability insurance provider, but what i heard from other health care professionals is they've been much more accommodating and understanding during covid for a range of disability issues (mental health, etc). WHO I believe considers burnout a health issue.

Morning Glory

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Re: Feeling burned out. Anyone else?
« Reply #113 on: March 19, 2021, 12:06:06 PM »
Also wanted to mention, if you have short and long term disability, don't be afraid to look into using this. I went on disability for an issue I could no longer avoid addressing last year, and it helped immensely with resetting things.

This may depend on your disability insurance provider, but what i heard from other health care professionals is they've been much more accommodating and understanding during covid for a range of disability issues (mental health, etc). WHO I believe considers burnout a health issue.

Reminds me of Catch 22: If you're sane enough to say you are too insane to work, then you're sane enough to work.

Roots&Wings

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Re: Feeling burned out. Anyone else?
« Reply #114 on: March 19, 2021, 12:09:54 PM »
Also wanted to mention, if you have short and long term disability, don't be afraid to look into using this. I went on disability for an issue I could no longer avoid addressing last year, and it helped immensely with resetting things.

This may depend on your disability insurance provider, but what i heard from other health care professionals is they've been much more accommodating and understanding during covid for a range of disability issues (mental health, etc). WHO I believe considers burnout a health issue.

Reminds me of Catch 22: If you're sane enough to say you are too insane to work, then you're sane enough to work.

Hahaha, love it!! But seriously, I was beyond burnout/stressed, and so afraid of asking for help/letting them know at work I needed help. Sure, it was a paperwork nightmare, but overall very glad I did this.

One other thought on this: as MMMers, we're supposed to maintain our circle of control. And sometimes we all need help. So, if the burnout is getting to the point of debilitating anxiety/stress that's impairing your health, don't be afraid to talk to a doctor or counselor about possible options - whether it's finally taking vacation time, cutting back hours/going part-time, going on disability, sabbatical, unpaid leave, new job, setting boundaries, etc - there are always options.
« Last Edit: March 19, 2021, 01:12:49 PM by Roots&Wings »

GuitarStv

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Re: Feeling burned out. Anyone else?
« Reply #115 on: March 19, 2021, 01:28:21 PM »
Is there any chance that you could take a sabbatical after this tax season?  Burnout is no joke, and frankly, if you don't make the effort to ease up, then your mind and/or body may very well force you to do so at the most inconvenient time possible.

I left a job with nothing lined up due to burnout last year-- hilariously, right before the pandemic hit.  It's been over a year since then, and it's the best thing I could have ever done for myself.  Looking back on that time, I can't believe I was trying to tell myself, "everything is fine, I'm just a bit tired, power through a few more years and you'll be FIRE free!"  I was FUCKED UP, not quite at the point of total mental breakdown yet, but I'm pretty sure I was getting there.  Even now, I'm still experiencing symptoms related to it - anxiety spikes, my memory is shot and I'm missing big gaps, and my ability to focus is just barely recovering.

Dude I was approaching and would've eventually arrived at mental breakdown territory had it not been for medication. Nowadays I feel the symptoms you highlight: terrible memory, focus, anxiety, etc. When I lay in bed at night I can feel how tight my body is - tongue on roof of mouth, hands clinched, shoulders.

Trying to manage and get through with a better diet and more walks.
Glad you're realizing how bad it's gotten, and I hope you're able to make it through this.  Walks & diet are great, but they're not able to fully substitute with giving your brain a damn break.

For me, I got to the point where I was regularly self medicating with alcohol and other things, and the realization that I was reaching for a beer because I associated it with 'feeling better' (rather than for the purposes of 'enjoying a beer') is part of what scared me into taking my burnout seriously.

Fun fact: I did the whole "long walks" thing early in my decompression last year because it would be "good for me".

I just found out yesterday that I now need bilateral hip surgeries.

Jesus, how long did you need to walk to decompress?


:P

Metalcat

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Re: Feeling burned out. Anyone else?
« Reply #116 on: March 19, 2021, 01:33:22 PM »
Is there any chance that you could take a sabbatical after this tax season?  Burnout is no joke, and frankly, if you don't make the effort to ease up, then your mind and/or body may very well force you to do so at the most inconvenient time possible.

I left a job with nothing lined up due to burnout last year-- hilariously, right before the pandemic hit.  It's been over a year since then, and it's the best thing I could have ever done for myself.  Looking back on that time, I can't believe I was trying to tell myself, "everything is fine, I'm just a bit tired, power through a few more years and you'll be FIRE free!"  I was FUCKED UP, not quite at the point of total mental breakdown yet, but I'm pretty sure I was getting there.  Even now, I'm still experiencing symptoms related to it - anxiety spikes, my memory is shot and I'm missing big gaps, and my ability to focus is just barely recovering.

Dude I was approaching and would've eventually arrived at mental breakdown territory had it not been for medication. Nowadays I feel the symptoms you highlight: terrible memory, focus, anxiety, etc. When I lay in bed at night I can feel how tight my body is - tongue on roof of mouth, hands clinched, shoulders.

Trying to manage and get through with a better diet and more walks.
Glad you're realizing how bad it's gotten, and I hope you're able to make it through this.  Walks & diet are great, but they're not able to fully substitute with giving your brain a damn break.

For me, I got to the point where I was regularly self medicating with alcohol and other things, and the realization that I was reaching for a beer because I associated it with 'feeling better' (rather than for the purposes of 'enjoying a beer') is part of what scared me into taking my burnout seriously.

Fun fact: I did the whole "long walks" thing early in my decompression last year because it would be "good for me".

I just found out yesterday that I now need bilateral hip surgeries.

Jesus, how long did you need to walk to decompress?


:P

Not a lot, but I have an illness that makes me get professional athlete level injuries by doing normal day to day activities. I have a shoulder injury that normally only quarterbacks get.

I thought walking was safe...I was incorrect. Lol.
« Last Edit: March 19, 2021, 01:46:17 PM by Malcat »

Fish Sweet

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Re: Feeling burned out. Anyone else?
« Reply #117 on: March 19, 2021, 03:46:23 PM »
Is there any chance that you could take a sabbatical after this tax season?  Burnout is no joke, and frankly, if you don't make the effort to ease up, then your mind and/or body may very well force you to do so at the most inconvenient time possible.

I left a job with nothing lined up due to burnout last year-- hilariously, right before the pandemic hit.  It's been over a year since then, and it's the best thing I could have ever done for myself.  Looking back on that time, I can't believe I was trying to tell myself, "everything is fine, I'm just a bit tired, power through a few more years and you'll be FIRE free!"  I was FUCKED UP, not quite at the point of total mental breakdown yet, but I'm pretty sure I was getting there.  Even now, I'm still experiencing symptoms related to it - anxiety spikes, my memory is shot and I'm missing big gaps, and my ability to focus is just barely recovering.

Dude I was approaching and would've eventually arrived at mental breakdown territory had it not been for medication. Nowadays I feel the symptoms you highlight: terrible memory, focus, anxiety, etc. When I lay in bed at night I can feel how tight my body is - tongue on roof of mouth, hands clinched, shoulders.

Trying to manage and get through with a better diet and more walks.
Glad you're realizing how bad it's gotten, and I hope you're able to make it through this.  Walks & diet are great, but they're not able to fully substitute with giving your brain a damn break.

For me, I got to the point where I was regularly self medicating with alcohol and other things, and the realization that I was reaching for a beer because I associated it with 'feeling better' (rather than for the purposes of 'enjoying a beer') is part of what scared me into taking my burnout seriously.

Thanks for the reply. Taking a week off from work next week. In your experience, there is no way to 'decompress' in such a short period of time, correct? One must take an extended break from work, or rather shift to a much less stressful work setting?
Helllllll no.  See what Malcat said, but also from my own experience:  I took about a week and a half off for an international vacation during the worst of my burnout.  I'm usually a happy traveler-- I'm good with being packed sardine-like (in pre-COVID times lol) into the economy class of whatever airline offers the cheapest tickets.  I thought getting on that airplane would feel like an escape, flying away from everything that dragged me down.  But on that trip, sitting for 12+ hours in the dark with my hands clenched into fists and inescapable thoughts about work and life and stress swirling around in my skull like floaters in a clogged toilet, I thought to myself: "I feel like a corpse.  I feel like a corpse, and this is my coffin."

It took the better part of my week off to unclench from my horrible emotional + physical rictus stiffness.  By the time I was starting to perk up a bit and enjoy myself, it was time to go back home.  Going with my macabre analogy, I was like one of those deep frozen corpses that got to sit out in the sun and thaw for an hour or two-- and then back into the freezer I go!

I'm a year out from that place of work and doing something totally different now-- and even then, I still get caught up in the ghost of burnout (today was one of those days.)  Tension, anxiety spikes, aversion to certain things that remind me of how terrible I felt and what I did to get that way.  It's my brain taking steps to protect itself, and for good reason.

SoBurntImCharred

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Re: Feeling burned out. Anyone else?
« Reply #118 on: March 19, 2021, 06:47:11 PM »
Has anyone read this "Working Conditions Survey" from Goldman Sachs? It really makes me feel like I made the right decision by bailing on a career in finance and avoiding this toxic culture. Talk about burnout...

https://www.theguardian.com/business/2021/mar/18/group-of-junior-bankers-at-goldman-sachs-claim-inhumane-work-conditions

The fact that the younger generation is even able to have these concerns see the light of day gives me hope for humanity. Sadly, corporate finance uses the following comp model: Compensation = (bullshit / actual work) x degree of psychopathy

Morning Glory

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Re: Feeling burned out. Anyone else?
« Reply #119 on: March 19, 2021, 07:38:53 PM »
Has anyone read this "Working Conditions Survey" from Goldman Sachs? It really makes me feel like I made the right decision by bailing on a career in finance and avoiding this toxic culture. Talk about burnout...

https://www.theguardian.com/business/2021/mar/18/group-of-junior-bankers-at-goldman-sachs-claim-inhumane-work-conditions

The fact that the younger generation is even able to have these concerns see the light of day gives me hope for humanity. Sadly, corporate finance uses the following comp model: Compensation = (bullshit / actual work) x degree of psychopathy

I like that. I think a lot of careers work that way. Starting to be happy that I didn't achieve my potential.

Daisyedwards800

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Re: Feeling burned out. Anyone else?
« Reply #120 on: March 20, 2021, 04:13:23 PM »
I don't really agree that it is only up to the worker to create boundaries.  IF you don't say that it's OK to set boundaries as a manager, then people will feel like they have to meet those crazy requests and have no other choice.  It's up to the managers to make sure they aren't giving people 70 hours worth of work.

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Re: Feeling burned out. Anyone else?
« Reply #121 on: March 20, 2021, 04:58:15 PM »
I don't really agree that it is only up to the worker to create boundaries.  IF you don't say that it's OK to set boundaries as a manager, then people will feel like they have to meet those crazy requests and have no other choice.  It's up to the managers to make sure they aren't giving people 70 hours worth of work.

I agree with you. I recently took a promotion to become a manager and it’s something that concerns me. The way our company is set up, 70-hour weeks really aren’t possible. But it’s a global company and most of the workers are remote, so we have to be careful about optics, e.g., not giving employees the impression that we expect them to be “on” 24-7.

BlueMR2

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Re: Feeling burned out. Anyone else?
« Reply #122 on: March 21, 2021, 10:48:33 AM »
Starting to be happy that I didn't achieve my potential.

Same here.  Seems like if you are going to achieve full potential, you will burn yourself out and do permanent damage.  I guess that's necessary if you want your name in the history books.  However, if you want to live a healthy enjoyable life, not so much.  I've been riding the edge of burnout for too many years as I've tried for a sustainable high performance level, but I find that the level I can maintain is gradually decreasing as the job is demanding it increase.  I'd planned on retiring from this job, but it's making me thinking about switching jobs one more time before retiring.  I'd kind of like to have my final retirement happen from something that didn't have me at my limit all the time.

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Re: Feeling burned out. Anyone else?
« Reply #123 on: March 21, 2021, 10:57:31 AM »
Starting to be happy that I didn't achieve my potential.

Same here.  Seems like if you are going to achieve full potential, you will burn yourself out and do permanent damage.  I guess that's necessary if you want your name in the history books.  However, if you want to live a healthy enjoyable life, not so much.  I've been riding the edge of burnout for too many years as I've tried for a sustainable high performance level, but I find that the level I can maintain is gradually decreasing as the job is demanding it increase.  I'd planned on retiring from this job, but it's making me thinking about switching jobs one more time before retiring.  I'd kind of like to have my final retirement happen from something that didn't have me at my limit all the time.

I thought about med school in my late 20s but opted out because I saw how little sleep the residents got, plus the idea of taking all those loans and not being able to work much during school scared me off.  I was already making good money as a nurse too. Instead I got my Master's in nursing for free and was able to work nearly full time during my program. This was the financially better choice and qualified me for less physically demanding nursing roles. I still wonder if I made the right choice: most of the physicians I know who are past residency are actually happier than most of the nurses I know.

It is family rather than career that has contributed the most to my burnout.

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Re: Feeling burned out. Anyone else?
« Reply #124 on: March 22, 2021, 01:28:03 PM »
Starting to be happy that I didn't achieve my potential.

Same here.  Seems like if you are going to achieve full potential, you will burn yourself out and do permanent damage.  I guess that's necessary if you want your name in the history books.  However, if you want to live a healthy enjoyable life, not so much.  I've been riding the edge of burnout for too many years as I've tried for a sustainable high performance level, but I find that the level I can maintain is gradually decreasing as the job is demanding it increase.  I'd planned on retiring from this job, but it's making me thinking about switching jobs one more time before retiring.  I'd kind of like to have my final retirement happen from something that didn't have me at my limit all the time.

I think the increased demands are what is driving people to change jobs. By changing work you can often reset the amount of work to a more sustainable level. The first months in a new job are often nice but if you are a doer people often recognize that and after a couple of months you start to get involved in more and more projects. I started this week with a doable amount of stuff and by the afternoon a couple of projects that have been dormant for a while suddenly need some work immediately. My reasonable week suddenly turned to a crappy week.

GuitarStv

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Re: Feeling burned out. Anyone else?
« Reply #125 on: March 23, 2021, 01:01:25 PM »
Is there any chance that you could take a sabbatical after this tax season?  Burnout is no joke, and frankly, if you don't make the effort to ease up, then your mind and/or body may very well force you to do so at the most inconvenient time possible.

I left a job with nothing lined up due to burnout last year-- hilariously, right before the pandemic hit.  It's been over a year since then, and it's the best thing I could have ever done for myself.  Looking back on that time, I can't believe I was trying to tell myself, "everything is fine, I'm just a bit tired, power through a few more years and you'll be FIRE free!"  I was FUCKED UP, not quite at the point of total mental breakdown yet, but I'm pretty sure I was getting there.  Even now, I'm still experiencing symptoms related to it - anxiety spikes, my memory is shot and I'm missing big gaps, and my ability to focus is just barely recovering.

Dude I was approaching and would've eventually arrived at mental breakdown territory had it not been for medication. Nowadays I feel the symptoms you highlight: terrible memory, focus, anxiety, etc. When I lay in bed at night I can feel how tight my body is - tongue on roof of mouth, hands clinched, shoulders.

Trying to manage and get through with a better diet and more walks.
Glad you're realizing how bad it's gotten, and I hope you're able to make it through this.  Walks & diet are great, but they're not able to fully substitute with giving your brain a damn break.

For me, I got to the point where I was regularly self medicating with alcohol and other things, and the realization that I was reaching for a beer because I associated it with 'feeling better' (rather than for the purposes of 'enjoying a beer') is part of what scared me into taking my burnout seriously.

Fun fact: I did the whole "long walks" thing early in my decompression last year because it would be "good for me".

I just found out yesterday that I now need bilateral hip surgeries.

Jesus, how long did you need to walk to decompress?


:P

Not a lot, but I have an illness that makes me get professional athlete level injuries by doing normal day to day activities. I have a shoulder injury that normally only quarterbacks get.

I thought walking was safe...I was incorrect. Lol.

Well, that's not as fun.  I was picturing some stress induced walking double marathons!

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Re: Feeling burned out. Anyone else?
« Reply #126 on: March 23, 2021, 01:32:48 PM »
Is there any chance that you could take a sabbatical after this tax season?  Burnout is no joke, and frankly, if you don't make the effort to ease up, then your mind and/or body may very well force you to do so at the most inconvenient time possible.

I left a job with nothing lined up due to burnout last year-- hilariously, right before the pandemic hit.  It's been over a year since then, and it's the best thing I could have ever done for myself.  Looking back on that time, I can't believe I was trying to tell myself, "everything is fine, I'm just a bit tired, power through a few more years and you'll be FIRE free!"  I was FUCKED UP, not quite at the point of total mental breakdown yet, but I'm pretty sure I was getting there.  Even now, I'm still experiencing symptoms related to it - anxiety spikes, my memory is shot and I'm missing big gaps, and my ability to focus is just barely recovering.

Dude I was approaching and would've eventually arrived at mental breakdown territory had it not been for medication. Nowadays I feel the symptoms you highlight: terrible memory, focus, anxiety, etc. When I lay in bed at night I can feel how tight my body is - tongue on roof of mouth, hands clinched, shoulders.

Trying to manage and get through with a better diet and more walks.
Glad you're realizing how bad it's gotten, and I hope you're able to make it through this.  Walks & diet are great, but they're not able to fully substitute with giving your brain a damn break.

For me, I got to the point where I was regularly self medicating with alcohol and other things, and the realization that I was reaching for a beer because I associated it with 'feeling better' (rather than for the purposes of 'enjoying a beer') is part of what scared me into taking my burnout seriously.

Fun fact: I did the whole "long walks" thing early in my decompression last year because it would be "good for me".

I just found out yesterday that I now need bilateral hip surgeries.

Jesus, how long did you need to walk to decompress?


:P

Not a lot, but I have an illness that makes me get professional athlete level injuries by doing normal day to day activities. I have a shoulder injury that normally only quarterbacks get.

I thought walking was safe...I was incorrect. Lol.

Well, that's not as fun.  I was picturing some stress induced walking double marathons!

Nope, sorry to disappoint :P

ender

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Re: Feeling burned out. Anyone else?
« Reply #127 on: March 28, 2021, 08:31:48 AM »
I think the increased demands are what is driving people to change jobs. By changing work you can often reset the amount of work to a more sustainable level. The first months in a new job are often nice but if you are a doer people often recognize that and after a couple of months you start to get involved in more and more projects. I started this week with a doable amount of stuff and by the afternoon a couple of projects that have been dormant for a while suddenly need some work immediately. My reasonable week suddenly turned to a crappy week.

This is definitely part of it when you have domain knowledge.

"Oh, ender knows about X so let's ask a question which will take an hour of time this week" x100

Plina

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Re: Feeling burned out. Anyone else?
« Reply #128 on: March 28, 2021, 09:39:47 AM »
I think the increased demands are what is driving people to change jobs. By changing work you can often reset the amount of work to a more sustainable level. The first months in a new job are often nice but if you are a doer people often recognize that and after a couple of months you start to get involved in more and more projects. I started this week with a doable amount of stuff and by the afternoon a couple of projects that have been dormant for a while suddenly need some work immediately. My reasonable week suddenly turned to a crappy week.

This is definitely part of it when you have domain knowledge.

"Oh, ender knows about X so let's ask a question which will take an hour of time this week" x100

I read in Reality-based leadership that you should instead of providing answers start asking questions about their reasoning for example regarding coding in the example and why they didn’t trust their own reasoning. To coach them to find their own answers. It might take time in the beginning but it will save in the end. It is easy to become the go to person and I am myself guilty of only answering the question.

 In a previous workplace I had several colleagues coming to me with questions about how to solve a problem. My first question was always, what did the permit say. I don’t know how many times they came back sheepishly saying that the permit solved the problem. They learned to look at the permit first and I did an internal happy dance first time when one of my colleagues started with according to the permit...

AerynLee

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Re: Feeling burned out. Anyone else?
« Reply #129 on: March 28, 2021, 11:33:23 AM »
Accountant here...super burnt out. At this point I'm actually regretting my decision 3ish years ago to finally get a job in public accounting to get my CPA (passed the exams back in 2012). Now I'm looking for new jobs and I'm either way overqualified or the job sounds too stressful or too full of corporate BS.

eljefe-speaks

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Re: Feeling burned out. Anyone else?
« Reply #130 on: March 29, 2021, 08:36:44 AM »
Working from home until the pandemic is over and it's just exhausting.

I am in the EXACT same boat (although you make a good bit more money that I do). I am stressed, anxiety ridden, and so burned out that I cannot separate it from full-blown depression. I recently looked into making an escape and following a real passion. At the end of a long screening call I was informed that the position pays $12/hour. Poverty wages are obviously a non-starter. I would happily work for less money, but I cannot go that low. So I feel desperate and trapped and I am in a nasty negative feedback loop. I wear out my brain by constantly striving for a breath of fresh air while I tread water. I really, really need a change. The world seems closed to (moderately) high-earners with desk jobs looking to make that change. Maybe it would be a good reset to get a job as a waiter or something while I go back and get a cert or associates from a trade school? I just don't know. Maybe I just need to try to get a month-long leave of absence and go hiking? Maybe I COVID has made me officially crazy.

eljefe-speaks

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Re: Feeling burned out. Anyone else?
« Reply #131 on: March 29, 2021, 08:53:31 AM »
I was FUCKED UP, not quite at the point of total mental breakdown yet, but I'm pretty sure I was getting there.  Even now, I'm still experiencing symptoms related to it - anxiety spikes, my memory is shot and I'm missing big gaps, and my ability to focus is just barely recovering.

Same! I cannot believe the stuff I forget! It is embarrassing, especially when you have to think on your feet on team calls. I have even had some scary stuff happen with mental fogginess. Yesterday I checked in for an appointment. The nice lady asked to see my registration. My brain quit. I couldn't understand what she was asking for. It felt like a genuine mental illness. I started going through my phone, but I did not know what I was doing. Some lizard part of my brain was stalling for time. It took 2 or 3 minutes to snap back.

I think I may have experienced something akin to a mental break at the height of COVID last year. I sat down to do my work and I felt anxiety bombarding me from so many different angles that I had an urge to cry. I was shaking. At the same time I was being even harder on myself, thinking, dude, it's just computer work. You got this. Why the F are you freaking out?

So my wife begged me to take a sick day (which I NEVER allow myself to do.) I took off on my motorcycle and did a nature hike. It absolutely CURED whatever episode I was going through. I just needed to let go and find my actual, non-stressed self. 

StarBright

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Re: Feeling burned out. Anyone else?
« Reply #132 on: March 29, 2021, 09:02:48 AM »
]

I am in the EXACT same boat (although you make a good bit more money that I do). I am stressed, anxiety ridden, and so burned out that I cannot separate it from full-blown depression. I recently looked into making an escape and following a real passion. At the end of a long screening call I was informed that the position pays $12/hour. Poverty wages are obviously a non-starter. I would happily work for less money, but I cannot go that low. So I feel desperate and trapped and I am in a nasty negative feedback loop. I wear out my brain by constantly striving for a breath of fresh air while I tread water. I really, really need a change. The world seems closed to (moderately) high-earners with desk jobs looking to make that change. Maybe it would be a good reset to get a job as a waiter or something while I go back and get a cert or associates from a trade school? I just don't know. Maybe I just need to try to get a month-long leave of absence and go hiking? Maybe I COVID has made me officially crazy.

I have also encountered the bolded problem. I have even had people try to recruit me away from my current job and then offer the equivalent of 15 an hour. I live in a relatively cheap area of the midwest, so $15 is almost twice minimum wage, but it really is poverty level wages. And the people are trying to recruit me because they know I'm a super hard worker who gets stuff done.  A livable wage for a livable workload please!
« Last Edit: March 29, 2021, 10:39:46 AM by StarBright »

Morning Glory

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Re: Feeling burned out. Anyone else?
« Reply #133 on: March 29, 2021, 09:54:11 AM »
I was FUCKED UP, not quite at the point of total mental breakdown yet, but I'm pretty sure I was getting there.  Even now, I'm still experiencing symptoms related to it - anxiety spikes, my memory is shot and I'm missing big gaps, and my ability to focus is just barely recovering.

Same! I cannot believe the stuff I forget! It is embarrassing, especially when you have to think on your feet on team calls. I have even had some scary stuff happen with mental fogginess. Yesterday I checked in for an appointment. The nice lady asked to see my registration. My brain quit. I couldn't understand what she was asking for. It felt like a genuine mental illness. I started going through my phone, but I did not know what I was doing. Some lizard part of my brain was stalling for time. It took 2 or 3 minutes to snap back.

I think I may have experienced something akin to a mental break at the height of COVID last year. I sat down to do my work and I felt anxiety bombarding me from so many different angles that I had an urge to cry. I was shaking. At the same time I was being even harder on myself, thinking, dude, it's just computer work. You got this. Why the F are you freaking out?

So my wife begged me to take a sick day (which I NEVER allow myself to do.) I took off on my motorcycle and did a nature hike. It absolutely CURED whatever episode I was going through. I just needed to let go and find my actual, non-stressed self.

I just looked at some of your older posts from when you were looking at various career alternatives. I couldn't find whether you mentioned your educational background or not.  Did you ever change jobs last year? I understand feeling trapped, especially if you are the family breadwinner/insurance provider.

I developed a full-blown anxiety disorder during covid too, but I think it was probably building up long before that. I started thinking back and regretting all of my life choices. I could not sleep and was barely eating.  I would have panic attacks at work.  I am better now on medication and in a different job (no longer direct patient care), but not all the way better. I'm still having memory and concentration problems, and I'm not as motivated as I once was.  My family situation is difficult and I'm trying to make some changes to that too, which can be discouraging.  On top of that I have something like survivor's guilt because I am no longer in the trenches taking care of patients.  I'm doing my best with exercise, journaling, getting out in nature, making friends, etc., but the burnout is still there. 

eljefe-speaks

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Re: Feeling burned out. Anyone else?
« Reply #134 on: March 29, 2021, 11:56:14 AM »

I just looked at some of your older posts from when you were looking at various career alternatives. I couldn't find whether you mentioned your educational background or not.  Did you ever change jobs last year?

I did not. Coincidently I just had screening interview today for a new job and it went well. Impossible to tell if the job will be more of the same, but might as well give it a shot, provided the opportunity.

lutorm

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Re: Feeling burned out. Anyone else?
« Reply #135 on: April 19, 2021, 10:31:50 PM »
Well, I put in my request to go to 3-day weeks on Friday. I can't really complain about my work; it's interesting, I think I'm pretty good at setting boundaries (extremely good compared to most of my coworkers), and I practically never think about work outside work hours, but I'm still just tired and I feel like my life is just work, kid, sleep. Since we're practically FIRE anyway it seems crazy to continue logging 40+h every week.

The big question is what I say if they come back with a no... ;-)

fingers crossed that they say yes!
Well, it took a while but it's approved! Next month, I'll be going down to 3-day weeks.

mwulff

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Re: Feeling burned out. Anyone else?
« Reply #136 on: April 20, 2021, 04:28:12 AM »
Well, it took a while but it's approved! Next month, I'll be going down to 3-day weeks.

Could you post back here in 3 months, and let us know how that is working out for you? It's been a dream of mine for some time. But I've yet to put it into practice so would love to have some feedback from others.

LightTripper

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Re: Feeling burned out. Anyone else?
« Reply #137 on: April 20, 2021, 07:29:25 AM »
I have been doing a kind of 3 day week for 2021 so far.  At least: I'm a consultant, so I've been taking on fewer projects and averaging billing 24 hours a week, instead of 40-60.  So that's a bit different as I'm still working every day - but often only for an hour or two unless there is something going on that needs more attention from me.

So far I've found it good.  About as expected.  It means work is still a dominant force in my life, as I'm thinking about it every day.  On the plus side, I'm much less tired, I spend many fewer evenings and weekends working, and have really enjoyed having time to garden, talk to friends or family on the phone, or just go for a walk or shop during the working day, rather than having to cram everything into weekends and evenings.  I'm not sure it's "enough" but it's surely a lot better than my previous quality of life (so far at least - fairly early days!)

I have paired reducing my hours with delegating a lot more, and to more senior colleagues, so more stuff can "tick along" happily without me.  So far that has been great: and hopefully good for them as well as me, as it takes stress off my shoulders, but also gives them more visibility with clients, and hopefully my clients can gradually become theirs as I step back further over the next couple of years.

lutorm

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Re: Feeling burned out. Anyone else?
« Reply #138 on: April 20, 2021, 11:20:25 AM »
I have been doing a kind of 3 day week for 2021 so far.  At least: I'm a consultant, so I've been taking on fewer projects and averaging billing 24 hours a week, instead of 40-60.  So that's a bit different as I'm still working every day - but often only for an hour or two unless there is something going on that needs more attention from me.

Yeah, I explicitly do not want to do this. I'm going to be working M-W and then not thinking about work until next Monday. I think if you work a few hours instead of 8h every day, it will still consume your attention most of the day. It's also a lot harder to set boundaries because it's very easy for 2h to turn into 4h because you get roped into things.

Mwulff, will try to remember.

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Re: Feeling burned out. Anyone else?
« Reply #139 on: April 21, 2021, 08:32:04 AM »
Both my partner and I are burned out, it's hard.

He had been doing the responsible thing, 9-5 until two weeks before the shutdowns, when he quit.  Um, whoops.
At age 45 though he is freaking out between the pandemic, shoulds/woulds.  He put off the question for years about what he really wants to do with his life, is also afraid of not making much since he is used to valuing his time more.  Plus the pandemic on top of everything.

He did a little bit of deliveries last year so as not to dip into emergency savings (good man).  Finally got a (we thought) great job which had a few issues- the most important being commute which got terrible as things opened up here suddenly and sciatica acting up.  So he quit after a month and two days later was done.

We are in totally different financial situations- I've hustled my whole life (age 39 now), doing what I wanted however- but it's only been in the last 2-3 years I've even known what a retirement account is let alone have the money to save for it.  Seriously was living in poverty or just above it all this time.  I also have 200k of student loans, although I don't feel as stressed about this due to understanding options (I'm on PAYE).  I have a plan but also a lot of "catch up" to do.  He was 250k from FIRE in January but his stocks went way down so now he's maybe halfway (IDK exactly).  But he has a decent amount there (almost all in taxable brokerage) and his mortgage is close to done.


I've been in healthcare this past year (my other and formerly full time career, music, is close to shut down still, I am so lucky to have had what I've had this past year).  We lost a lot of work and I went from working at 2 places, to 1, to now 6 in order to have extra job security with my fiance out of work.
I'm anxious AF, my employers don't give me good PPE, patients constantly pull down their masks and I have to remind them...now that vacccines are out even staff keeps not having masks on half the time.  I 'm burnt out of hearing everyone's stories- I also work with a lot of POC and it's been a crazy year that way too especially in an urban center like I live in.  Routinely I get people in and they start crying since I'm the first person who has touched them in months, or they've talked to in person outside their family.  It's a lot.  I know it could be worse like if I was in a hospital or dealing with COVID patients directly, but it's still affecting me?  I have a lot of downtime with patients and end up having to "play therapist" a lot, which I'm ok to do up to a point.

I feel like I can't leave anything since my partner is out of work, even though he is by no means saying I have to.  I think actually he would be supportive if I left but I keep feeling like I have to work in case something happened...he is still paying mortgage (good news tho!  he actually recalculated the other day and found out it's not 7 years from paid off, but only 2-3).  His investments have done well, but took a big dip from extremo levels where they were in January.  There is still great potential but they aren't diversified well (5 growth stocks).  I was really unprepared when he quit this most recent time, although at the same time realizing he had to.  And I'm glad he realizes he is basically done with that field of work even if it's scary he doesn't know what's next.  At the same time I've felt like he devalues my work too, it's been a lot of work for him to understand that even if my work isn't as physically taxing as his, it still takes a really big toll on me.   I think it took the year of being out of work and just talking A LOT to really understand this and my boundaries/needs there, but I feel better about it.

Anyway there is a lot of uncertainty and I haven't reached the level of F it, let's go camping like he has (in the past when I was single I was never worried about money but I guess I had less responsibilities?  IDK.  I feel like I need to be provider even if he isn't asking for this).  I'm afraid to leave what it took a few years for me to build up here.  I also get confused on what exactly I need as barista/lean/coast FIRE, some calculators say I'm there, but others not- also have student loans/tax bomb to deal with
« Last Edit: April 21, 2021, 08:39:17 AM by dizzy »

Morning Glory

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Re: Feeling burned out. Anyone else?
« Reply #140 on: April 21, 2021, 10:32:35 AM »
Still burned out over here, but I'm doing a bit better with memory and concentration.  Also feeling less depressed now that the days are getting longer.

We decided to sell our big property and downsize, which has added some extra stress in the short term but will mean much more free time in the long term, both in terms of being able to fire sooner and also not having to do all the property and equipment maintenance. Hoping that brings our lives into a more sustainable balance.

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Re: Feeling burned out. Anyone else?
« Reply #141 on: April 21, 2021, 12:56:47 PM »
Those of you going down to 3 day workweeks, are you still being provided healthcare by the employer? I would love to give that a try, but unfortunately all the part-time jobs I find in my field don't have benefits.

LightTripper

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Re: Feeling burned out. Anyone else?
« Reply #142 on: April 21, 2021, 03:34:14 PM »
At my work a 3 day week is the minimum we can do while still being an employee (and getting benefits).

Having said that, I know that one of my colleagues is officially working a 5 day week but getting paid for 1 (still leaves him above minimum wage) - which means he still gets benefits but does fewer hours than I do.  Somebody I know who works in recruiting suggested that might be dodgy (in particular, that the health insurance company might try to not cover stuff if they found out he was actually billing fewer hours typically).  I'm not sure why that would be the case (it's just his pay rate that's lower), but maybe it's a reason why many companies are reluctant.

Of course private health care insurance is less of an issue here (UK) than in many countries.  Personally it's not a deal breaker for me if I lose it, as it is mainly for things that I could cover out of pocket anyway.  For anything major I'd use the NHS even with private insurance.

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Re: Feeling burned out. Anyone else?
« Reply #143 on: April 22, 2021, 12:35:40 AM »
Those of you going down to 3 day workweeks, are you still being provided healthcare by the employer? I would love to give that a try, but unfortunately all the part-time jobs I find in my field don't have benefits.
Yeah, 60% was not an issue. If it was "a lot less than 50%" (unclear exactly at what point) HR said the employer contribution would go down. I would still be eligible, though.

(Apparently my vesting schedule will also not be affected, which if you put face value on that means that I'll actually be dropping 40% hours for a 20% compensation cut. That was better than I expected.)

Presumably this is helped by me having been there 9 years, and they don't want me to leave. I doubt they would show the same flexibility if I was more junior.

ketchup

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Re: Feeling burned out. Anyone else?
« Reply #144 on: April 22, 2021, 07:40:23 AM »
I felt burned out a few months after they canned one of the three people (including me) in my department without decreasing the workload.  I dreaded work (bad commute didn't help), and felt like I was spinning my wheels professionally and never actually getting anything done.  Things in my personal life had gotten complicated at the same time (multi-day power outages, package theft and car vandalism, unplanned visits to the emergency vet, etc.), so it was a real mess.  Then I handed my boss a resignation letter and saw fear in his eyes since a decade of institutional knowledge is locked up in my brain (their fault for making me load-bearing).  Eventually leveraged it into a 1099 contractor arrangement for three days a week (one remote) while making essentially the same money (after decreased commuting costs, increased SE taxes etc) as before, and they hired more people so my workload is reasonable again.  Personal life calmed down again now too, so life is good.

I won.
« Last Edit: April 22, 2021, 07:47:26 AM by ketchup »

hoosier

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Re: Feeling burned out. Anyone else?
« Reply #145 on: April 22, 2021, 08:40:55 AM »
Another 39 year old checking in.  I don't think I'm burned out, but my level of fulfillment in my current job has definitely degraded lately. 

Not to brag, but I'm really, really good at what I do...which means my job isn't much of a challenge any more.  Solving new problems used to be one of the main likes, but now I've done most of this stuff 100 times before.

My tolerance for corporate BS has reached an all time low, however corporate BS has reached an all time high.  I have no patience for office politics and short sighted decisions.

I used to be fine "turning tricks" for money, but now that money isn't my main concern it feels like all I'm doing is feeding the consumer culture machine (e-com supply chain logistics), trying to find ways to put poor people of of jobs to save the company more money, and setting my personal time on fire. 

My problem is I'm still trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up.  If I knew how I wanted to spend the next 20 years I'd be running that direction.  I keep telling myself I need to figure that out, but the other part of me is saying you make stupid money and your quality of life is great....put up with the stuff and keep riding the gravy train for another 5 years.


Malee55

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Re: Feeling burned out. Anyone else?
« Reply #146 on: April 22, 2021, 06:02:14 PM »
Another one feeling tired all the time. I coped with last year with not a lot of difficulty. And am very thankful to live in a country where COVID has not been a major problem in the way it has in many others. But then this year I have just suddenly felt so tired. I feel like it is a delayed reaction after last year.

I have been in my job so long that it is accepted when I say I get too stressed to step up to do higher duties. And I am confident enough to be able to own up to this. But the difficult part is to continue to refuse to do an extra shift to cover if another person is off sick. And the request is always worded that I don't want to let my colleagues down. I now just always say I am not available. But it is not easy.

I feel silly feeling that I that my work is too much when I read what some other people on here have to go through. But I know my life is what I make it. I need to recognise  how my work is affecting me. It does help confirm in my mind that I have made the right decision to finish up this year.

Though my husband does not agree and does not think I should stop work. I think he needs to stop, but that is his decision and I offer as much emotional support as possible and let him make his own decisions.

Morning Glory

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Re: Feeling burned out. Anyone else?
« Reply #147 on: April 22, 2021, 06:19:15 PM »

I feel silly feeling that I that my work is too much when I read what some other people on here have to go through. But I know my life is what I make it. I need to recognise  how my work is affecting me. It does help confirm in my mind that I have made the right decision to finish up this year.


You are in healthcare, yes? I get that feeling a lot. Towards the end of last year it was almost like survivor's guilt. I've had some wise forum members help me try to extinguish it. You are tired and you need a break. We all get tired and need breaks. I kept telling myself "other people have it worse" and pushed myself into serious mental illness.  That manipulation to try to get you to work extra shifts is familiar too.

Malee55

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Re: Feeling burned out. Anyone else?
« Reply #148 on: April 23, 2021, 03:02:45 AM »
Yes I am in health care. And I am aware that the more we cover shifts when someone is off sick, the more tired we all become. And the less imperative there is for our bosses to actually employ more nurses. But it becomes hard to keep saying no to shifts. I am aware of my own fragility as I had to leave a different area of work when I became burnt out from that. Now at least I am able to look at myself and say enough is enough.

StarBright

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Re: Feeling burned out. Anyone else?
« Reply #149 on: April 23, 2021, 06:04:35 AM »
Add me to the list of the completely burnt out. I’ve just read the thread from beginning to end and am posting so I can follow future discussion.  I’m 70 days from my self-chosen quit date and holding on by the skin of my teeth.

this year has been so hard in a way that I can't wrap my brain around. I feel like I've been squeezed out and wrung dry.


Thanks for posting your countdown days! I hadn't thought to do that yet, and I was closer than I thought. Knowing I'm less than a hundred days out from cutting back made a real difference in my outlook this week.