It finally happened. My partner and I were hit up for money by a family member. I feel like I'm part of the club now, and I want to share the story.
My SO has 8 nieces and nephews from her two sisters. All are adults (in age, not maturity) save for the youngest female whom my SO and I on occasion take out for a fun day. She is often in the shadow of her three older brothers, all of whom are special needs (Autism, Downs Syndrome), so we take her to the beach or out shopping alone.
We decided to take her out last weekend to get school clothes and a few other necessities. When we arrived to pick her up, the child's mother -- my SO's oldest sister -- was hitting us up hard to pay for the girl's senior school photos to the tune of $300. We brushed it off.
Now let's pause here. When I had senior high school photos done in 1986, we got one photo and you bought a package for $39.99. Our niece had at least 20 photos to choose from that weren't considered out takes, and her mother was telling us the package they wanted was $300. Not having kids, I don't know if this is the new cost of school photos and if every student is considered a future model deserving of a complete photo session. Or maybe the mother was telling us a big fat lie to get money? Parents will have to fill me in on this.
Anyway, we took the girl out and after a full day of shopping for everything from clothes to shoes to underwear, bras, school supplies and bedding, she was deposited back at home and we were $900 poorer. We don't mind. We don't have kids, so spoiling other people's from time to time is our karmic payment to the universe.
Two days later, meaning last night, my SO and I are sitting on the couch when she gets a text from her sister making another appeal for the $300. I was not amused. After some discussion with my SO -- to make sure we responded as a team -- I replied to the text that we were unable to help and she would need to manage the purchase herself.
I know a lot of you deal with begging family on a regular basis, but this is new for us. Points to ponder:
1) My SO's sister received an inheritance 6 months ago of $30k. I guess it's all gone and she's back to living on welfare, food stamps and other aid. This woman has never worked.
2) I don't believe she wants the money for photos. When she got the inheritance, there were a lot of new iPhones around all the sudden. I have a feeling she can't pay the phone bill, but that's not sympathy inducing like senior photos.
3) Why didn't she pull us aside and ask us to spend less on school clothes to help her with this bill? I guess she was hoping to have her cake and eat it too.
4) The teen girl was sullen the entire day and I had to prompt her to thank my SO. I was a sullen teen as well, so I get it, but she usually appreciates us. I guess the novelty has worn off. We're just the rich aunties.
In short, I'm left feeling like a sucker for being kind to this family. Obviously I don't want to take it out on the teen who just wanted school clothes, but we appear to have become a marked target. My SO says that's the way it has always been with her family. No one contacts her unless they need money. It just seems a little sad.
Anyway, that's my tale. There's no problem to solve, but I'd love your commentary on family members and their attempts at the money grab.