FU story is in progress, so we'll see how things work out, but since I've got one brewing and this thread has gone off the rails a bit, let's do this!!!
I am one of the most highly performing people in my organization. I also am one of the more tenured for my start-up (5 years). I was the first person hired for my department and I built and nurtured it to an almost 40 person team. By every metric they measure the success of my role and my department, I am the top. Additionally, due to how early I joined, I am one of the more influential people in the company at, really, all levels. I regularly meet with entry level folks to keep a beat on what is going on and to provide mentorship. I'm regularly asked to come by the CEO's and other execs offices to give updates and feedback from my perspective (and I am 3 levels below him now but reported to him when I started). All to say, when something needs to get done I am usually the best equipped to do it and when I ask for things I usually get them.
Well this year I asked for something my boss didn't want to give.
2020-2023 have been hard. For everyone, and definitely for me. I think I may have PTSD from it all? I lost a lot of things. People I loved died. I lost relationships I've had for years. I learned some terrible things about people I built my life around and it shook my entire identity. Compounding these problems 2023 was the hardest year of my career workwise. They asked me to do more than I've ever done and it had me burning the wick at both ends. Even so, I succeeded at work and I'll be ending our fiscal year on January 31st as the most successful person in my org.
I came to the realization I was burned out in the fall, so after thinking about my options, I reached out to my boss at Halloween and asked him for a sabbatical. I told him this was very important to me, that I needed it for personal reasons, and I am burning out. Ideally it would be Two months in 2024, (I asked for March and April). Him and I talked about it a bit and he was positive about it overall and we started spit balling ideas on what this could look like. He even pitched the idea we could offer sabbaticals to longer term employees as a benefit for retention. He asked to think about how to present it up to the business and then would get back to me after talking to his boss and HR. We had time. They spoke a few times, he did some kind of research (not sure what) and in December my boss and my bosses boss met to talk through it all. There were some miscommunications on what I was asking for, so I corrected those. We talked through it a bit more and then they said they would raise the flag internally and get back to me in a few days.
Well, the next day (Friday) my boss schedules a meeting and opens with, "this will probably be the most one sided conversations we'll ever have." he then proceeds to tell me "I don't like the precedent a sabbatical sets for the team, so I am personally not going to let you do it and I have the ability to do that here." He then explained how difficult it would be to lose me for two months and that he couldn't approve it or allow his boss to push the request up the chain. At one point he told me, "If this means you'll quit, then there's the door." he spent the rest of the call explaining his perspective on all the great reasons to keep working at my current job.
He has never asked me once why I am looking for a sabbatical. I have offered a few times to talk about it in more detail, but he wasn't very interested in my purpose for the ask. I need a life reset if I'm going to be happy. My wife, my family, my friends, my mental health, my physical health...they all need a reset.
Just before all this, I was offered a retention bonus by the company. I rejected it and had to reach out to HR directly to let them know I was not signing. I told my boss 'no' to the retention bonus and he didn't bubble that up, I guess.
Anyway, over Christmas I took some extra time off and did the math. Thanks to my current stashe and some savings the wife and I were building that we can repurpose, I can live for 9 months without a paycheck or needing to dip into investments. By the end of February, I should be able to pay all my expenses for 12 months from cash in my HYSA alone. So that's what I'm going to do. I'm saving for the next two months until I hit my savings goal and then I am going to quit my job. I fully expect multiple executives to try and retain me once I put in my notice, but at this point it is too late. As they say, you don't leave bad companies, just bad bosses.
What is unfortunate about all of this, overall I like my boss. He just has a terrible view on work/life balance. I don't think I've ever seen him not working while on vacation, which is frustrating. I am not surprised he would do this, but I did figure his boss would say something due to my success and role in the organization.
A friend of mine, when I told her the story, asked, "what do they think you are going to do with that answer? Did they actually think you wouldn't just quit and take the sabbatical on your own?" And, I think that's exactly what they think - at least my boss. Or they thought I would leave immediately? I am not sure.
So here we are, January 16th, about 45-60 days away from turning in my notice. I'll keep y'all updated as things start to happen.