Epic FU money stories

[Adventine]

Great it worked out for you @fuzzy math !

[10dollarsatatime]

I shared this in my journal, but it's so, so appropriate for here:

in December of 2021, I had  just about had it with work.  My boss was trying to push responsibilities on my team that were not appropriate.  We were understaffed and underfunded.  I had just finished earning my bachelor's in business management and after a particularly heated discussion, I went home and did a simple job search.  And realized I had options.  That paid half again what I was earning with less responsibilities.  I applied for one of them and went through the interview process.  I didn't get it, but it was fine. 

In January of 22, COVID went through the workplace.  The boss got sick, and then sicker.  He ended up in the hospital.

Arguments or not, it should be clear that in general I liked the man and considered us friends.

In February, I started covering some of his responsibilities.  In March, they threw the budget at me with all of one week to put it together for the next fiscal year.  I started scheduling in clients for the next year, updating the contract, filling out supplemental requests, heading up a carper replacement project, etc, etc.  All while still doing my Technical Director job.  It was over hours every week.  (Government, so I accumulated comp time, as opposed to getting paid overtime.)  The city extended his FMLA by a month.  We were all expecting a recovery and that he'd come back.  Unfortunately, he passed in late April.

In all this time, I had seen his boss maybe five or six times.

After he passed, I was made temporary acting GM, still doing my original duties as well.  They didn't actually open the position for applicants until June.  They interviewed the positions in early July.

I was exhausted.  I had hit the comp time cap in June and then they HAD to start paying me overtime.  That's how much I was working.  I wasn't being paid appropriately for it.  I wasn't being trained appropriately for it.  I was burnt out, emotionally and physically.  And I had HAD it.  Finally, at the beginning of August, after weeks of tears, lamenting to the husband, and looking at the numbers that said I could take a year off and not be any worse off than we were at that point, I decided I was done.  I told hubs.  I called my mother.  I emailed the boss and the city recruiting guy in HR on a Monday morning.  Two sentences.  I'm withdrawing my application.  yada yada. Love 10$@aT.

Within minutes, I got a call from the boss.  "I'm coming to pick you up so we can talk."  He took me to breakfast and we talked about why.  (I've been doing double duty for six months with nearly not support.) He asked me to reconsider.  "This kind of thing never happens!" (It has! To me! Twice now!  There's an FU story in here somewhere about the last time!)  "It could be better."  "There could be more support."  "You can take time off."  "The rec center and ice arena managers could step in while you recharge."  (I'm not sure that actually would have worked.) 

I reminded him that I had emailed HR guy.

"I can kill HR guy."

I told him I'd think about it.

A few days later we met in his office and I told him that if he could guarantee that change could and would happen, I would consider accepting the job.  But if I wasn't offered it, I was quitting the job completely.  That took him off-guard.  I hadn't planned on telling him.  When I withdrew, I had figured on helping the new GM get situated and then I would turn in my notice.  But it came up, so I told him it was all or nothing.

I got offered the job.  With a $17,000 raise and lots of vacation. 

I stayed. 

(He's kept enough of his promises that I'm not mad about it.)

[RWTL]

I shared this in my journal, but it's so, so appropriate for here:

in December of 2021, I had  just about had it with work.  My boss was trying to push responsibilities on my team that were not appropriate.  We were understaffed and underfunded.  I had just finished earning my bachelor's in business management and after a particularly heated discussion, I went home and did a simple job search.  And realized I had options.  That paid half again what I was earning with less responsibilities.  I applied for one of them and went through the interview process.  I didn't get it, but it was fine. 

In January of 22, COVID went through the workplace.  The boss got sick, and then sicker.  He ended up in the hospital.

Arguments or not, it should be clear that in general I liked the man and considered us friends.

In February, I started covering some of his responsibilities.  In March, they threw the budget at me with all of one week to put it together for the next fiscal year.  I started scheduling in clients for the next year, updating the contract, filling out supplemental requests, heading up a carper replacement project, etc, etc.  All while still doing my Technical Director job.  It was over hours every week.  (Government, so I accumulated comp time, as opposed to getting paid overtime.)  The city extended his FMLA by a month.  We were all expecting a recovery and that he'd come back.  Unfortunately, he passed in late April.

In all this time, I had seen his boss maybe five or six times.

After he passed, I was made temporary acting GM, still doing my original duties as well.  They didn't actually open the position for applicants until June.  They interviewed the positions in early July.

I was exhausted.  I had hit the comp time cap in June and then they HAD to start paying me overtime.  That's how much I was working.  I wasn't being paid appropriately for it.  I wasn't being trained appropriately for it.  I was burnt out, emotionally and physically.  And I had HAD it.  Finally, at the beginning of August, after weeks of tears, lamenting to the husband, and looking at the numbers that said I could take a year off and not be any worse off than we were at that point, I decided I was done.  I told hubs.  I called my mother.  I emailed the boss and the city recruiting guy in HR on a Monday morning.  Two sentences.  I'm withdrawing my application.  yada yada. Love 10$@aT.

Within minutes, I got a call from the boss.  "I'm coming to pick you up so we can talk."  He took me to breakfast and we talked about why.  (I've been doing double duty for six months with nearly not support.) He asked me to reconsider.  "This kind of thing never happens!" (It has! To me! Twice now!  There's an FU story in here somewhere about the last time!)  "It could be better."  "There could be more support."  "You can take time off."  "The rec center and ice arena managers could step in while you recharge."  (I'm not sure that actually would have worked.) 

I reminded him that I had emailed HR guy.

"I can kill HR guy."

I told him I'd think about it.

A few days later we met in his office and I told him that if he could guarantee that change could and would happen, I would consider accepting the job.  But if I wasn't offered it, I was quitting the job completely.  That took him off-guard.  I hadn't planned on telling him.  When I withdrew, I had figured on helping the new GM get situated and then I would turn in my notice.  But it came up, so I told him it was all or nothing.

I got offered the job.  With a $17,000 raise and lots of vacation. 

I stayed. 

(He's kept enough of his promises that I'm not mad about it.)

Glad it worked out for you, even though you were put through hell to get there.  It's a shame that so many companies will grind employees into the ground before they recognize the hell they are putting them through.  For many managers, as long as it doesn't affect them, the status quo is fine.

[oneday]

Yay, you found the thread!

[ricelife]

didn't read all of the posts but the ones that I read were very inspiring! FU money literally gives you the balls to say "eh, I don't want to be doing this anymore, so I'm not going to. Bye folks".

I have a small FU story too:
I went off to have a baby during the pandemic. When I came back I knew I didn't want to return to the office and I wanted to keep baby with me at home (didn't want to send to daycare, for mostly emotional reasons). When the boss called me I said that I wasn't returning and he was like "what could convince you to stay?"
On a whim I said "fully remote, part time hours, I dictate the schedule, full benefits, also raise please"
He surprisingly said yes and gave me everything that I wanted! It was awesome for a while....I had my in laws and parents watch kid for a few hours a day while I worked completely remotely. Everyone was going back to the office at least 3 days a week. Since I had full benefits I got raises and bonuses and all the health benefits etc.
On the negative side people just don't understand that my hours were note 9-5 and sometimes people push you to output like a fulltimer.

Fast forward to today I am pregnant with the 2nd kid and was feeling super stressed. My hubby says to me one day "why don't you just take your maternity leave early and be done with this place?"
So yep, I'm already on maternity leave with months left to go before I give birth.
FU money is great!

[Dicey]

Congratulations, @ricelife!

[Leseratte]

Well done @ricelife!

What better reason to say no thank you than to be able to stay home with your kids!

[BicycleB]

didn't read all of the posts but the ones that I read were very inspiring! FU money literally gives you the balls to say "eh, I don't want to be doing this anymore, so I'm not going to. Bye folks".

I have a small FU story too:
I went off to have a baby during the pandemic. When I came back I knew I didn't want to return to the office and I wanted to keep baby with me at home (didn't want to send to daycare, for mostly emotional reasons). When the boss called me I said that I wasn't returning and he was like "what could convince you to stay?"
On a whim I said "fully remote, part time hours, I dictate the schedule, full benefits, also raise please"
He surprisingly said yes and gave me everything that I wanted! It was awesome for a while....I had my in laws and parents watch kid for a few hours a day while I worked completely remotely. Everyone was going back to the office at least 3 days a week. Since I had full benefits I got raises and bonuses and all the health benefits etc.
On the negative side people just don't understand that my hours were note 9-5 and sometimes people push you to output like a fulltimer.

Fast forward to today I am pregnant with the 2nd kid and was feeling super stressed. My hubby says to me one day "why don't you just take your maternity leave early and be done with this place?"
So yep, I'm already on maternity leave with months left to go before I give birth.
FU money is great!

Totally epic!!

[jinga nation]

didn't read all of the posts but the ones that I read were very inspiring! FU money literally gives you the balls to say "eh, I don't want to be doing this anymore, so I'm not going to. Bye folks".

I have a small FU story too:
...
FU money is great!

I'm so proud of you. Swinging that FU Money hammer is super fun, right?

The first time we exercised the FU-Money option in the workplace was when my wife delivered our 2nd. Her employer refused to allow her to work a reduced 40 hour week during tax season. They had previously allowed her this when we had our 1st child a few years prior. They implied after they allowed this change, there were other new moms using the same policy. Then some dads rightfully said this was not fair, and they too got reduced hours. Typical hours in tax season are 60-70 per week at this firm, not Big 4, but regionally huge.

My MIL was going to visit us for a couple of months and help after my mum moved in with us for the first month post-birth. So we'd have 3 months of help. I told my wife that if they don't want to accommodate her request, that she should quit, and spend time with her mum. She was worried about income; told her we have rental income that covers our mortgage, utilities, home insurance, etc. And we have an emergency fund, and more.

After her maternity leave during the tax season, she went to the office, put in a vacation request to use up her hours, which was instantly approved as it was the slow season. When that was over, she went in and put in her 2 week notice. All of a sudden, the partners and directors freaked out. They asked what they could do to make here stay. She said it was too late for action but didn't offer any specifics. They let her go and provided a 2 week severance pay. Meanwhile, during her leave, she'd negotiated with a previous employer to work for them, with 2 days WFH, work 32 hours, get paid for 40. Shorter commute.

Icing on the cake: some of her coworkers, who we're friends with outside the workplace, were also planning to have a 2nd child. With my wife's actions encouraging them, they too left that CPA firm and took industry positions that were more amenable to raising a family and/or better work-life balance.

Once we'd swung that FU hammer, it became our version of Thor's Mjölnir. We've used it judiciously when the moment required it.

[ysette9]

didn't read all of the posts but the ones that I read were very inspiring! FU money literally gives you the balls to say "eh, I don't want to be doing this anymore, so I'm not going to. Bye folks".

I have a small FU story too:
...
FU money is great!

I'm so proud of you. Swinging that FU Money hammer is super fun, right?

The first time we exercised the FU-Money option in the workplace was when my wife delivered our 2nd. Her employer refused to allow her to work a reduced 40 hour week during tax season. They had previously allowed her this when we had our 1st child a few years prior. They implied after they allowed this change, there were other new moms using the same policy. Then some dads rightfully said this was not fair, and they too got reduced hours. Typical hours in tax season are 60-70 per week at this firm, not Big 4, but regionally huge.

My MIL was going to visit us for a couple of months and help after my mum moved in with us for the first month post-birth. So we'd have 3 months of help. I told my wife that if they don't want to accommodate her request, that she should quit, and spend time with her mum. She was worried about income; told her we have rental income that covers our mortgage, utilities, home insurance, etc. And we have an emergency fund, and more.

After her maternity leave during the tax season, she went to the office, put in a vacation request to use up her hours, which was instantly approved as it was the slow season. When that was over, she went in and put in her 2 week notice. All of a sudden, the partners and directors freaked out. They asked what they could do to make here stay. She said it was too late for action but didn't offer any specifics. They let her go and provided a 2 week severance pay. Meanwhile, during her leave, she'd negotiated with a previous employer to work for them, with 2 days WFH, work 32 hours, get paid for 40. Shorter commute.

Icing on the cake: some of her coworkers, who we're friends with outside the workplace, were also planning to have a 2nd child. With my wife's actions encouraging them, they too left that CPA firm and took industry positions that were more amenable to raising a family and/or better work-life balance.

Once we'd swung that FU hammer, it became our version of Thor's Mjölnir. We've used it judiciously when the moment required it.

I love this. Take a stand for decent parental leave and work-life balance!

[mm1970]

didn't read all of the posts but the ones that I read were very inspiring! FU money literally gives you the balls to say "eh, I don't want to be doing this anymore, so I'm not going to. Bye folks".

I have a small FU story too:
...
FU money is great!

I'm so proud of you. Swinging that FU Money hammer is super fun, right?

The first time we exercised the FU-Money option in the workplace was when my wife delivered our 2nd. Her employer refused to allow her to work a reduced 40 hour week during tax season. They had previously allowed her this when we had our 1st child a few years prior. They implied after they allowed this change, there were other new moms using the same policy. Then some dads rightfully said this was not fair, and they too got reduced hours. Typical hours in tax season are 60-70 per week at this firm, not Big 4, but regionally huge.

My MIL was going to visit us for a couple of months and help after my mum moved in with us for the first month post-birth. So we'd have 3 months of help. I told my wife that if they don't want to accommodate her request, that she should quit, and spend time with her mum. She was worried about income; told her we have rental income that covers our mortgage, utilities, home insurance, etc. And we have an emergency fund, and more.

After her maternity leave during the tax season, she went to the office, put in a vacation request to use up her hours, which was instantly approved as it was the slow season. When that was over, she went in and put in her 2 week notice. All of a sudden, the partners and directors freaked out. They asked what they could do to make here stay. She said it was too late for action but didn't offer any specifics. They let her go and provided a 2 week severance pay. Meanwhile, during her leave, she'd negotiated with a previous employer to work for them, with 2 days WFH, work 32 hours, get paid for 40. Shorter commute.

Icing on the cake: some of her coworkers, who we're friends with outside the workplace, were also planning to have a 2nd child. With my wife's actions encouraging them, they too left that CPA firm and took industry positions that were more amenable to raising a family and/or better work-life balance.

Once we'd swung that FU hammer, it became our version of Thor's Mjölnir. We've used it judiciously when the moment required it.

I too love in.  I'm in tech, and long ago and far away, I went part time (30 hr/week, but paid hourly) for my last company.  My son was 18 months old when I made the switch, which lined up with when my old boss left.

Fast forward 1.5 years and there's a change at work...our group is closed down, they decide to absorb the few of us into another group.  (Just as I'm up for a 3 year overdue promotion, I might add.)  The new boss wanders by my cube to say "I'm the bad cop.  I don't believe in PT so you have to go full time." 
Why?
"It doesn't work"
But employee A (also a mom, son my kid's age) is part time.
"She's not a technical employee".
Um, with a PhD in engineering?
"Well, she's not in the critical path."
How about we try it first?
"No"

So, well, I went above his head to the Veep to talk about the promotion, got hand-waving and no answers, asked about part time, was offered "you can work 40 hours a week, but any 40 hours you want!  Any schedule!"  Um, duh?

In the end I picked up the phone and called my old boss and said "I am looking for a part time job."  And got hired.

The old company was "eh, whatever" because I was an engineer, but we had another one.  What *I* knew and what *they* didn't know is that he was leaving about a month after me.  Whoops.

Fast forward a little more...my BFF at the office gets married (I see all the peeps at the wedding, no hard feelings), then has a kid, and goes part time.  They admit "hey, we maybe didn't handle mm's thing too great.  We regret that."  But then they start pressuring her to go back to full time after a year or two.  And so...she quit.

In the meantime, the PhD is also getting pressure to go full time, so she just up and quits and starts her own consulting business.

Onto employee #4, she is probably 20 years younger than I am, has a baby...goes part time.  And they let her.  And THEY DON'T PRESSURE HER TO GO FULL TIME.

Fourth time's the charm I guess?

[ricelife]

Thanks @Dicey, @Leseratte and @BicycleB!

@jinga nation - that's an amazing story for your wife and all of her colleagues who benefited from the FU money mindset! I feel so bad for those parents or caregivers out there who cannot financially swing their Mjolnir in times of need. I think about a coworker who's mother was going into hospice and she couldn't afford to take too much time off so she was incredibly stressed and was crying at her desk. She was working all day and then visiting her mother for long hours at night and dealing with all the medical stuff. Same thing when the mom eventually passed she had to work while dealing with the grief and end of life arrangements.
This can literally happen to anyone who doesn't have a big enough stache. Everyone has at least someone that will rely on them at some point - like a parent, sibling, pet, child etc.

[Sandi_k]

I think about a coworker who's mother was going into hospice and she couldn't afford to take too much time off so she was incredibly stressed and was crying at her desk. She was working all day and then visiting her mother for long hours at night and dealing with all the medical stuff. Same thing when the mom eventually passed she had to work while dealing with the grief and end of life arrangements.

This can literally happen to anyone who doesn't have a big enough stache. Everyone has at least someone that will rely on them at some point - like a parent, sibling, pet, child etc.

Hmm. I turned down a (most probable) job offer/promotion this morning, because my FIL just entered hospice care, and my 86 year old mom is declining. I do NOT want to be that person. Your account is like the third "UNIVERSE IS SHOUTING AT YOU TO SAY NO" post I've seen.

Good call. Thanks for the reinforcement.

[ricelife]

I think about a coworker who's mother was going into hospice and she couldn't afford to take too much time off so she was incredibly stressed and was crying at her desk. She was working all day and then visiting her mother for long hours at night and dealing with all the medical stuff. Same thing when the mom eventually passed she had to work while dealing with the grief and end of life arrangements.

This can literally happen to anyone who doesn't have a big enough stache. Everyone has at least someone that will rely on them at some point - like a parent, sibling, pet, child etc.

Hmm. I turned down a (most probable) job offer/promotion this morning, because my FIL just entered hospice care, and my 86 year old mom is declining. I do NOT want to be that person. Your account is like the third "UNIVERSE IS SHOUTING AT YOU TO SAY NO" post I've seen.

Good call. Thanks for the reinforcement.

I'm so sorry to hear about your FIL and your mom. It really sucks that they are getting older and not healthy anymore but that is life. The universe is definitely telling you to prioritize your family and not chase the dollars because you don't HAVE TO.
Coworker was in really rough shape I gotta tell you. On top of being financially stressed she had no help from other relatives because they all live far away and she is still supporting her teenage son. Some of our coworkers started a small collection for her and she was so appreciative.

[Freedomin5]

I may have one developing. I was recently promoted to team lead, and there are two extremely toxic, passive-aggressive coworkers on the team who take every opportunity to undermine not just my authority, but the authority of anyone who asks them to do anything they don’t want to do.

After receiving multiple complaints about their competence from multiple departments and multiple clients who have had negative interactions with them over the past two years, and copious amounts of documentation from me now that I have to work closely with them, HR and the CEO gave them a warning. HR said they should have better attitudes now.

Less than 24 hours later, I walked into a meeting where they acted very unprofessionally and disrespectfully towards a senior director in the company who was introducing new standards that our team needs to follow (ie, telling us what to do). Their piss poor behavior is completely in line with their past behavior patterns.

Contract renewals are coming up in a couple weeks, and I have decided that I am unwilling to work with these toxic people anymore. Thanks to FU money, I felt comfortable documenting and reporting their most recent terrible behavior. I also stated that their behavior has influenced my thoughts about contract renewals. I clearly stated that I enjoy working for the company and I enjoy my role, but I am unwilling to put up with them for another year. My manager is aware that if the company doesn’t get rid of them, I want a demotion back to my old non-managerial role. And if they force me to keep my current role and give the toxic workers new contracts, then I am not signing a new contract. My manager says the company doesn’t want to lose me.

 We are FI, so I’m fine with whatever decision the company makes.

[Trifle]

Way to go @Freedomin5!   Nothing makes gutless upper managers squirm more than actually having to make decisions like this.  Hopefully -- faced with a clear choice between two toxic employees and a good manager willing to call them on their shit - they'll make the right call. 

[Gronnie]

Way to go @Freedomin5!   Nothing makes gutless upper managers squirm more than actually having to make decisions like this.  Hopefully -- faced with a clear choice between two toxic employees and a good manager willing to call them on their shit - they'll make the right call.

My money is on them making the wrong decision.

[RyanAtTanagra]

Way to go @Freedomin5!   Nothing makes gutless upper managers squirm more than actually having to make decisions like this.  Hopefully -- faced with a clear choice between two toxic employees and a good manager willing to call them on their shit - they'll make the right call.

My money is on them making the wrong decision.

Yea unfortunately it's A LOT easier to let someone walk, than to fire someone else, and higher ups generally do whatever is easiest for them.

[Must_ache]

I told my boss (who 99% of the time is reasonable) that I will quit in six months.  I'm the only person doing my job, so a transition to some newly-hired person would be ideal.  A brief email exchange:

Me: I might be amenable to a short part-time transition if it turns out that the timing of the hiring of my eventual replacement were near my end date.  During a short transition I wouldn’t plan on getting involved in Task X, although I could be involved in doing just about anything else.

Boss: If the company is going to continue paying you, then you aren’t going to decide when you want to work and what projects you will work on.

Me: In the event of a short-term transition, there will be conditions on what projects I work on.  Only one condition really, I just stated it (Task X).  If you don’t like it, obviously there won’t be a short-term transition.  Both parties have to agree.

Boss: There has to be interest on your end and there has to be an offer on my end.  So lets just ignore this part time hypothetical until we get there.

[ATtiny85]

That's awesome. I am sure once it gets closer (when they struggle to find someone...) there will be a much nicer conversation started by boss.

Can't wait to hear how it plays out.

[ysette9]

I told my boss (who 99% of the time is reasonable) that I will quit in six months.  I'm the only person doing my job, so a transition to some newly-hired person would be ideal.  A brief email exchange:

Me: I might be amenable to a short part-time transition if it turns out that the timing of the hiring of my eventual replacement were near my end date.  During a short transition I wouldn’t plan on getting involved in Task X, although I could be involved in doing just about anything else.

Boss: If the company is going to continue paying you, then you aren’t going to decide when you want to work and what projects you will work on.

Me: In the event of a short-term transition, there will be conditions on what projects I work on.  Only one condition really, I just stated it (Task X).  If you don’t like it, obviously there won’t be a short-term transition.  Both parties have to agree.

Boss: There has to be interest on your end and there has to be an offer on my end.  So lets just ignore this part time hypothetical until we get there.

Sounds like they are going to be figuring out how to get your replacement up to speed on their own

[Must_ache]

For more context, my boss asked for a signed and dated letter saying I would quit April 5.  i said no, not unless there are written guarantees about my march bonus (which is usually about $15-$20K, but is there any chance they would shaft me since I've promised to leave).
But it sounds like he really needs this letter to start hiring a replacement.  He says now he's going to plan on April 5 and I told him as long as everything proceeds normally that is what he should plan for.

I"m the only one who can train my replacement.  Nobody else has my skills and knowledge apart from the boss who could but is (1) too busy, and (2) several states away.

I'm not trying to be a PITA, just protecting myself.

That's awesome. I am sure once it gets closer (when they struggle to find someone...) there will be a much nicer conversation started by boss.
Can't wait to hear how it plays out.

My company can be stingy with head count.  I'm an actuary, that is pretty specialized knowledge but there are a fair number of actuaries in this city although only me in this company.  It's a small part of a big well-known company but probably not on anyone's radar who might be looking for a job.  I was lucky to stumble across it nine years ago. 

[Catbert]

^^^Very likely that your manager can't start recruiting until he has "official" notification with a firm date that you're quitting.  When I was a government HR Manager, recruiting couldn't start until there was a signed resignation/retirement form submitted.  If recruiting had started and employee changed their mind and wanted to stay they didn't have to let you rescind your resignation.

It doesn't sound like you work for a Federal government, but I would envision large corporations to have similar rules.

[LennStar]

Yeah, that makes a lot of sense in any company big enough to actually have a HR department.

[AlanStache]

"Very likely that your manager can't start recruiting until he has "official" notification with a firm date that you're quitting." Not Must_ache's problem.

As always get agreements in writing and in your personal possession.

I gave notice on the 3rd (last week) offering per company handbook to continue for 2 months.  Company counter offered with my last day "doing stuff" to be the 6th (last friday) and to use vacation for the forward months.  I too had very specialized knowledge.  Was no discussion of hiring and training a replacement, or even an exit interview (so far...), was with the company +20 years.  My first real day of FIRE is today (monday was a holiday) is going about perfectly.   It was time to leave the company, stupid shit was piling up and becoming unbearable, especially with 25x in the bank. 

"Boss: There has to be interest on your end and there has to be an offer on my end.  So lets just ignore this part time hypothetical until we get there."

Sounds like the boss does not want you on during a transition period post final date.  Also sounds like there will not be appropriate levels of respect shown to you.  "My last day will be April 5th, I will be unavailable there after".  Boss does not have your best interests at heart - act accordingly.  But maybe I am just past jaded and in need of decompression time <shrug>.

[ysette9]

"Very likely that your manager can't start recruiting until he has "official" notification with a firm date that you're quitting." Not Must_ache's problem.

As always get agreements in writing and in your personal possession.

I gave notice on the 3rd (last week) offering per company handbook to continue for 2 months.  Company counter offered with my last day "doing stuff" to be the 6th (last friday) and to use vacation for the forward months.  I too had very specialized knowledge.  Was no discussion of hiring and training a replacement, or even an exit interview (so far...), was with the company +20 years.  My first real day of FIRE is today (monday was a holiday) is going about perfectly.   It was time to leave the company, stupid shit was piling up and becoming unbearable, especially with 25x in the bank. 

"Boss: There has to be interest on your end and there has to be an offer on my end.  So lets just ignore this part time hypothetical until we get there."

Sounds like the boss does not want you on during a transition period post final date.  Also sounds like there will not be appropriate levels of respect shown to you.  "My last day will be April 5th, I will be unavailable there after".  Boss does not have your best interests at heart - act accordingly.  But maybe I am just past jaded and in need of decompression time <shrug>.

Congrats on FIREing! Good luck with your decompression and everything that comes next

[Must_ache]

Congrats on FIREing! Good luck with your decompression and everything that comes next

Thanks I'm looking to work half time at some point, but with nearly $1.4M I won't have to rush anything.  For the last several years I have been stashing almost half my pay away, so the plan is to work half as much as stash no pay away and give those assets a chance to grow some more.  I currently do some tutoring and I enjoy a small amount of Uber delivering.  I can teach math at the college level.  But until this job ends it's impractical to look for or apply to anything half-time and remote.

Sounds like the boss does not want you on during a transition period post final date.  Also sounds like there will not be appropriate levels of respect shown to you.  "My last day will be April 5th, I will be unavailable there after".  Boss does not have your best interests at heart - act accordingly.  But maybe I am just past jaded and in need of decompression time <shrug>

Boss has already made it clear they don't want two people on long-term.  The uncertainty is hiring someone and making sure I leave.  If they could hire someone by January, that would allow a 3-month transition in which case I probably wouldn't be needed longer, which is fine.  If they don't bring someone on until March, then they will probably want me stick around.  Boss is not trying to screw me, just trying to get his way.  I'm willing to cooperate subject to my own conditions.

[fuzzy math]

Boss: If the company is going to continue paying you, then you aren’t going to decide when you want to work and what projects you will work on.

Me: In the event of a short-term transition, there will be conditions on what projects I work on.  Only one condition really, I just stated it (Task X).  If you don’t like it, obviously there won’t be a short-term transition.  Both parties have to agree.

Boss: There has to be interest on your end and there has to be an offer on my end.  So lets just ignore this part time hypothetical until we get there.

Bluff called beautifully. Rather than the boss admitting they don't have the upper hand, they just tabled the discussion. LOOOOOL

[Gremlin]

Boss: If the company is going to continue paying you, then you aren’t going to decide when you want to work and what projects you will work on.

Me: In the event of a short-term transition, there will be conditions on what projects I work on.  Only one condition really, I just stated it (Task X).  If you don’t like it, obviously there won’t be a short-term transition.  Both parties have to agree.

Boss: There has to be interest on your end and there has to be an offer on my end.  So lets just ignore this part time hypothetical until we get there.

Bluff called beautifully. Rather than the boss admitting they don't have the upper hand, they just tabled the discussion. LOOOOOL

I love watching the penny drop when people think they hold all the cards in a negotiation, only to realise that you're not even playing to the same rules as them...

[jinga nation]

Congrats on FIREing! Good luck with your decompression and everything that comes next

Thanks I'm looking to work half time at some point, but with nearly $1.4M I won't have to rush anything.  For the last several years I have been stashing almost half my pay away, so the plan is to work half as much as stash no pay away and give those assets a chance to grow some more.  I currently do some tutoring and I enjoy a small amount of Uber delivering.  I can teach math at the college level.  But until this job ends it's impractical to look for or apply to anything half-time and remote.

Sounds like the boss does not want you on during a transition period post final date.  Also sounds like there will not be appropriate levels of respect shown to you.  "My last day will be April 5th, I will be unavailable there after".  Boss does not have your best interests at heart - act accordingly.  But maybe I am just past jaded and in need of decompression time <shrug>

Boss has already made it clear they don't want two people on long-term.  The uncertainty is hiring someone and making sure I leave.  If they could hire someone by January, that would allow a 3-month transition in which case I probably wouldn't be needed longer, which is fine.  If they don't bring someone on until March, then they will probably want me stick around.  Boss is not trying to screw me, just trying to get his way.  I'm willing to cooperate subject to my own conditions.

It seems like your boss' options are between a rock and a hard place, as these type of decisions are beyond his power. Hold your cards close.

[Turtle]

"Very likely that your manager can't start recruiting until he has "official" notification with a firm date that you're quitting." Not Must_ache's problem.

As always get agreements in writing and in your personal possession.

I gave notice on the 3rd (last week) offering per company handbook to continue for 2 months.  Company counter offered with my last day "doing stuff" to be the 6th (last friday) and to use vacation for the forward months.  I too had very specialized knowledge.  Was no discussion of hiring and training a replacement, or even an exit interview (so far...), was with the company +20 years.  My first real day of FIRE is today (monday was a holiday) is going about perfectly.   It was time to leave the company, stupid shit was piling up and becoming unbearable, especially with 25x in the bank. 

"Boss: There has to be interest on your end and there has to be an offer on my end.  So lets just ignore this part time hypothetical until we get there."

Sounds like the boss does not want you on during a transition period post final date.  Also sounds like there will not be appropriate levels of respect shown to you.  "My last day will be April 5th, I will be unavailable there after".  Boss does not have your best interests at heart - act accordingly.  But maybe I am just past jaded and in need of decompression time <shrug>.

Congratulations!  Good that you get to start decompressing right away instead of waiting 2 months.

[HawkeyeNFO]

I told my boss (who 99% of the time is reasonable) that I will quit in six months.  I'm the only person doing my job, so a transition to some newly-hired person would be ideal.  A brief email exchange:

Me: I might be amenable to a short part-time transition if it turns out that the timing of the hiring of my eventual replacement were near my end date.  During a short transition I wouldn’t plan on getting involved in Task X, although I could be involved in doing just about anything else.

Boss: If the company is going to continue paying you, then you aren’t going to decide when you want to work and what projects you will work on.

Me: In the event of a short-term transition, there will be conditions on what projects I work on.  Only one condition really, I just stated it (Task X).  If you don’t like it, obviously there won’t be a short-term transition.  Both parties have to agree.

Boss: There has to be interest on your end and there has to be an offer on my end.  So lets just ignore this part time hypothetical until we get there.

What's the point of giving 6 months notice?  Is there a requirement in your rules or agreement with the company for 6 months?  Seems like giving up a lot of leverage. 

If you were to tell them in mid-March that you planned to quit in April, then you would put the boss in a much more desperate condition where they'd be much more inclined to accept your demands.  Instead, your boss may very well already have started looking for your replacement, whether you know it or not.  And if they find someone willing to work cheaper than you, they might show you the door much sooner than April.

[RyanAtTanagra]

What's the point of giving 6 months notice?

Yea I don't get this one either.  Do they give a 6-month notice when letting people go?

I don't treat my employer better than they treat their employees.

[Sibley]

What's the point of giving 6 months notice?

Yea I don't get this one either.  Do they give a 6-month notice when letting people go?

I don't treat my employer better than they treat their employees.

There are some fields where extended notices are common. There are some people who are ignorant. There are some people who are unwilling to say no. There are contracts that have specific requirements. All sorts of reasons, many of which are not good reasons. I don't know what OP's situation is, but this might be relevant: https://www.askamanager.org/2023/10/my-boss-told-me-not-to-quit-until-they-replace-me-but-that-could-take-months.html

[RyanAtTanagra]

There are some fields where extended notices are common. There are some people who are ignorant. There are some people who are unwilling to say no. There are contracts that have specific requirements. All sorts of reasons, many of which are not good reasons. I don't know what OP's situation is, but this might be relevant: https://www.askamanager.org/2023/10/my-boss-told-me-not-to-quit-until-they-replace-me-but-that-could-take-months.html

"my boss told me not to quit"  lol, jesus christ

[ATtiny85]

There are some fields where extended notices are common. There are some people who are ignorant. There are some people who are unwilling to say no. There are contracts that have specific requirements. All sorts of reasons, many of which are not good reasons. I don't know what OP's situation is, but this might be relevant: https://www.askamanager.org/2023/10/my-boss-told-me-not-to-quit-until-they-replace-me-but-that-could-take-months.html

"my boss told me not to quit"  lol, jesus christ

“Well, make believe you hired someone today and double my pay, or I won’t be coming in tomorrow.”

Talk about being given the upper hand. Though I could see a younger person getting bullied by it.

[Apples]

My great-aunt.  She worked as a small business bookkeeper/office admin her entire life.  She scrimped and saved and raised 2 sons on her own, then later married, then raised her granddaughter for several years after the girl's father died and mom fell into drugs. The last 20 years of her career, she was one of 2 women in the office of a large dairy farm.  They did all the bill paying, insurance paperwork, crop insurance paperwork, invoicing, payroll, worked with the accountant on tax documents - almost all records the farm had.  The 2 office women barely got cost-of-living raises.  I think they made around $20-$25 per hour, plus health insurance.  My great aunt mentioned a retirement date to them 2 YEARS beforehand, because the job is very seasonal so a replacement would likely need to be there a full year before learning all the ropes.  They hemmed and hawed, said they'd find somebody.  You know where this is going.  They didn't find someone, she stayed 3 extra months, and then said no, I'm done.  If you need my work, I will be happy to become a contractor and bill you $50 per hour for my time, but I'll only be available for small windows of time.  They said goodbye, they wouldn't need her much, just now and then.

She regularly worked 20-25 hours per week for the next 2 years while a new person was found and trained.  Grossed roughly as much money as she had while full time, and got to go out for lunches and on hikes much more often.  Went on trips that were several weeks long.  She was on Medicare, so the health insurance didn't matter.  She never made the kind of income that would allow for a retirement before Medicare and Social Security age, but she had a solid nest egg and I'm so happy she was able to assert herself.

[LennStar]

THat's a tear inducing story in 2 ways.

[Gronnie]

She could have charged much more I would imagine.

[Must_ache]

What's the point of giving 6 months notice?  Is there a requirement in your rules or agreement with the company for 6 months?  Seems like giving up a lot of leverage. 
If you were to tell them in mid-March that you planned to quit in April, then you would put the boss in a much more desperate condition where they'd be much more inclined to accept your demands.  Instead, your boss may very well already have started looking for your replacement, whether you know it or not.  And if they find someone willing to work cheaper than you, they might show you the door much sooner than April.

In general the company has been good to me.  I cannot be replaced overnight, specialized actuarial knowledge in an understaffed area.  I HIGHLY doubt that the boss is going to toss me on the street tomorrow, although I would be OK with it.  I'm in charge of changing our insurance rates which are going up lately, so every month the work I'm doing gets slowed down could cost them hundreds of thousands of dollars, possibly more.

I can look on the mothership company's website and see the job postings and my job isn't there.  It's true I could have sprung this on him with 2 weeks or 2 minutes notice, but there is no need to.  A year ago when I mentioned the possibilty I don't think the boss took me seriously but he does now.     

[LightTripper]

The way I see it, one of the gifts my FU money gives me is the ability to leave my employer in the way I choose, and in a way that leaves me feeling good about my own behaviour, and hopefully leaves some benefits to my colleagues during my winding down phase and after I've fully gone. 

For sure, many employers behave very badly (and it's wise to be prepared for that possibilty, as @Must_ache clearly is, with a willingness to walk sooner if given the push or treated badly).  But also many don't - many employers are just other people like us, trying to make something or sell a service in a way that brings value to customers and colleagues alike.  The ability to leave my career with no regrets and no bridges burned (should I ever find myself bored/unfulfilled in post-work life - unlikely as this seems to be) has a genuine value to me.

[Simpli-Fi]

Not quite "epic" but an FU money story for sure.

I downshifted in 2020 and life was good, then all this recession talk back in 2021 timed with a real job reaching out to me, "are you looking for a new job?"..."no" I replied, then I was sold a grand vision and against my better judgement I accepted more money for more stress in 2022. 

It didn't feel good to be back in the life I left behind, but I was promised exciting/rewarding work...long story short, that never materialized.  I found myself grumpy in the office (and a little too vocal) and knew a change needed to happen.  So I reached out to HR and asked about part time policies.  My boss and I agreed on a 30hr/wk schedule and life was looking better...still eligible for full time benefits and we'd discuss my schedule in 6 months; great!

Less than 6 weeks later, I found myself in a meeting with my boss's boss badgering me about, how can I lead projects 30hr/wk..."because I'm efficient"...and how he wanted me back in the office 40+hr/week not less than 40 (obviously they make more money if I work more than they pay me).  Politely I declined, and his remarks were, "we agreed we'd re-evaluate your schedule in December."  Just to note: there was not enough billable work to justify 30hr/week and I felt I was doing them a favor.

Another (approx)6 weeks later, I found myself in another meeting about exciting new work and I was needed back in the office full time.  Again, I stated the work sounded appealing however, I wasn't interested in coming back more than 30hr/wk.  Turns out they had just sent a proposal and the work never materialized...again.

Some where during this time...my family's doctor's office notifies us they will not be taking our insurance any longer; dentist's office quit the year before and we don't use vision; so I'm left wondering why I need to be in the office 30hr/wk for full time benefits if the bulk of what I need isn't offered?!  I know "need" is probably the wrong word...but evil corp healthcare is my safety net; young kids and its all I've known for just over 21 years.  Anyway, I know which way my schedule needs to lean come December, 20 or less.

I'm fat, dumb, and happy (so to speak)...until I show up early Nov. to a meeting invite with my boss discussing my schedule once again, a full month before the agreed upon timeframe.  He makes it clear right away his boss is not flexible with my schedule any longer.  I proceed to explain the company will not be offering much benefit for me in 2024, (in not so many words) so why should I spend 40 hours a week "of my life's energy" working for them...obviously this isn't what his boss was expecting.

Thought longer about working for a bully and on Monday before Thanksgiving I put in my two weeks, which equated to only 14 hours last week and tomorrow will be my last day.  Quick look at YTD net worth gains (non RE) and they are more than twice what my salary is...I think it's going to be OK.

So far, not a single "office leader" has reached out or swung by my desk.  Hard for me to see if I'm the asshole in this situation...but I have spent some time filling out an exit interview survey...not sure if I will be submitting it or not.

[mm1970]

Oh, I think this is very epic.

[markbike528CBX]

@Simpli-Fi   sure, you should give (not submit) them the exit survey.  Your post above is clear and well written, so you could append a redacted version of your post to the exit interview form to flesh out your reasoning for your still-epic low key FU.

[Turtle]

Here's my read between the lines on this.

Could be a short sighted 'building must be full at all times to justify the cost' thing, but my guess is it is more of a:

How is this person getting more done in 3/4th time than most of our FTEs?  It's making the other FTEs look bad!

The bean counter side should be thrilled at getting FTE type effectiveness from 3/4th pay, so that's what has me leaning towards another reason for the stupidity.

[Zamboni]

Simpli-Fi, sounds like your boss's boss is small-minded and focused more on control than productivity and profitability.

I had a job once long ago where I negotiated working 80% of full time hours as a condition of hiring me. Wednesdays off in addition to the weekends off. Without that I would not have taken the job. The boss wanted to hire me and didn't even bat an eye at granting me my desired schedule. One of my co-workers was visibly extremely bitter and jealous about it. She made many snide remarks despite the fact that I wasn't on her project, my schedule had no impact on her, and she was earning 40% more salary than I was. I'm sure the boss would have given her the same deal if she was willing to take 80% of her pay, but she wasn't. She tried all kinds of tactics to make it a problem for me, but I never caved and for the most part I simply ignored her.

Some people just can't stand the idea of another person's happiness and boundaries. The world should revolve around them, their happiness, their ideas about how it should be, and anyone who isn't following their model for control needs to be corrected. I really think it's just as simple as that. Instead of my co-worker mentally thinking "ok, great! Zamboni negotiated this schedule so it is probably available to me in the future if I need it!" she chose to think "Why is Zamboni so special? Time for me to commence peer punishment and go into full a-hole mode to anyone daring to be different!"

[AMandM]

Some people just can't stand the idea of another person's happiness and boundaries.

The educator John Holt said that his hardest life lesson was accepting that people will refuse to improve their lives. If you say, "Look, I lost my chains, here's how you can lose yours!" their response is, "Huh, so you think you're better than the rest of us? You're too good for chains, is that it?"

[LennStar]

Some people just can't stand the idea of another person's happiness and boundaries.

The educator John Holt said that his hardest life lesson was accepting that people will refuse to improve their lives. If you say, "Look, I lost my chains, here's how you can lose yours!" their response is, "Huh, so you think you're better than the rest of us? You're too good for chains, is that it?"

I think that's just part of the general aversion of change. The more important the change, the harder is the resistance.

[Freedomin5]

Some people just can't stand the idea of another person's happiness and boundaries.

The educator John Holt said that his hardest life lesson was accepting that people will refuse to improve their lives. If you say, "Look, I lost my chains, here's how you can lose yours!" their response is, "Huh, so you think you're better than the rest of us? You're too good for chains, is that it?"

I think that's just part of the general aversion of change. The more important the change, the harder is the resistance.

Change is hard. It’s much easier to whine and complain, and blame others for the problems rather than trying to better the situation or find a solution. And of course, bash others and do your best to get in the way of others who actually actively look to better their situations.

[mm1970]

Some people just can't stand the idea of another person's happiness and boundaries.

The educator John Holt said that his hardest life lesson was accepting that people will refuse to improve their lives. If you say, "Look, I lost my chains, here's how you can lose yours!" their response is, "Huh, so you think you're better than the rest of us? You're too good for chains, is that it?"

I think that's just part of the general aversion of change. The more important the change, the harder is the resistance.

Change is hard. It’s much easier to whine and complain, and blame others for the problems rather than trying to better the situation or find a solution. And of course, bash others and do your best to get in the way of others who actually actively look to better their situations.

I have a coworker to decided to ease into retirement by going part time, but he wanted to keep the benefits, so that meant at least 30 h/ week.  Though he would have preferred 25.

Anyway, another slightly older coworker got pissed.  Always made snarky comments about working PT.  He also made a lot of snarky comments about people WFH, thinking they weren't really working.  I explained to him that it really depends on the person.  This was all before COVID. During COVID, the snarky coworker was at the office every day, because he had that kind of job.

After COVID, he moved 2.5 hours away, and started taking the train to work 3 days a week, would be at the office for 2.5 hours a day.  "I get so much work done on the train!"  I don't remember the last time he came in - at least 6 months.  Funny that.