Epic FU money stories

[youngwildandfree]

Schedule the 90 days to start shortly before the end of the FY.

Early in my job life we had an old big-ass dot matrix printer spitting out vast ammounts of paper every morning. Noone used the output from this beast. When we pointed out that it was no point in printing this stuff the reply was that noone knew what job it was or how to stop it. It was something put on the mainframe probably 10-20 years ago and probably made sense at the time. Eventually someone figured out what it was and stopped it, or someone just threw up the monster of a printer, cant really remeber.

Someone posted on craigslist today a free printer stand.  It was one of those with the slit in the top of the table and the big empty space underneath for reams and reams of perforated printer paper.  I was thinking about how so few people younger than me would even know what that table was made for.  If you tried to tell kids today about paper that came in one continuous sheet that we had to separate at perforations, what would they say?

"Doesn't that require killing a lot of trees?"

Or maybe the young people in my life are just extra environmentally conscious.

[shadowmoss]

Using piles of that continuous green bar paper was situation normal back then.  It was the only way to get output from the mainframes.  Also went through amazingng amounts of punch cards.  From what I've heard.  From older friends.  Right.

[dandarc]

There's nothing quite like a banner printed at home or school on 10 to 20 linear feet of paper that is already attached together for you. I don't know how kids today cope without this being a regular part of their lives.

[Sibley]

Anyone else build forts in the basement with it? Pretty sure I got in trouble. Worth it though!

[ixtap]

Anyone else build forts in the basement with it? Pretty sure I got in trouble. Worth it though!

Blankets are a better fort material, due to the extra width and sound blocking.

[Sibley]

Anyone else build forts in the basement with it? Pretty sure I got in trouble. Worth it though!

Blankets are a better fort material, due to the extra width and sound blocking.

Agreed, and those were used in the living room. But you make do with what you've got.

[geekette]

Using piles of that continuous green bar paper was situation normal back then.  It was the only way to get output from the mainframes.  Also went through amazingng amounts of punch cards.  From what I've heard.  From older friends.  Right.

Graduation day watching the contents of a box of punch cards flutter down from the roof of the residence hall like oversized playing cards...  Also, not me.

[dblaace]

Using piles of that continuous green bar paper was situation normal back then.  It was the only way to get output from the mainframes.  Also went through amazingng amounts of punch cards.  From what I've heard.  From older friends.  Right.

I used to work on those printers & readers.

[bluebelle]

Using piles of that continuous green bar paper was situation normal back then.  It was the only way to get output from the mainframes.  Also went through amazingng amounts of punch cards.  From what I've heard.  From older friends.  Right.

I used to work on those printers & readers.

I feel old now.........
BTW, we called that paper "pajama paper", because of the stripes

[JoePublic3.14]

There's nothing quite like a banner printed at home or school on 10 to 20 linear feet of paper that is already attached together for you. I don't know how kids today cope without this being a regular part of their lives.

Yeah, I’ve thought about that now and again over the years.

What was that print program that made banners? It’ll come to me….probably at 1am.

[Wile E. Coyote]

There's nothing quite like a banner printed at home or school on 10 to 20 linear feet of paper that is already attached together for you. I don't know how kids today cope without this being a regular part of their lives.

Yeah, I’ve thought about that now and again over the years.

What was that print program that made banners? It’ll come to me….probably at 1am.

The Print Shop, maybe?

[JoePublic3.14]

There's nothing quite like a banner printed at home or school on 10 to 20 linear feet of paper that is already attached together for you. I don't know how kids today cope without this being a regular part of their lives.

Yeah, I’ve thought about that now and again over the years.

What was that print program that made banners? It’ll come to me….probably at 1am.

The Print Shop, maybe?

Yeah, think you nailed it. That would wear out the ole printer

[dhc]

Not really epic, but after an executive not in my chain of command scheduled a meeting with me to discuss his disapproval of some actions he imagined but that I did not actually take, refused to listen when I told him as much, and patronizingly lectured me on how my actions could affect others in the organization, I emailed him and the CEO (his boss) some direct feedback explaining that he was out of line and requesting any future feedback be direct and actionable. Welp...we'll see how it goes over.

[former player]

Not really epic, but after an executive not in my chain of command scheduled a meeting with me to discuss his disapproval of some actions he imagined but that I did not actually take, refused to listen when I told him as much, and patronizingly lectured me on how my actions could affect others in the organization, I emailed him and the CEO (his boss) some direct feedback explaining that he was out of line and requesting any future feedback be direct and actionable. Welp...we'll see how it goes over.

That is epic, especially if your top brass take it as a teacheable moment.

[Ladychips]

Not really epic, but after an executive not in my chain of command scheduled a meeting with me to discuss his disapproval of some actions he imagined but that I did not actually take, refused to listen when I told him as much, and patronizingly lectured me on how my actions could affect others in the organization, I emailed him and the CEO (his boss) some direct feedback explaining that he was out of line and requesting any future feedback be direct and actionable. Welp...we'll see how it goes over.

Please come back and tell us how it goes.

[AlanStache]

Not really epic, but after an executive not in my chain of command scheduled a meeting with me to discuss his disapproval of some actions he imagined but that I did not actually take, refused to listen when I told him as much, and patronizingly lectured me on how my actions could affect others in the organization, I emailed him and the CEO (his boss) some direct feedback explaining that he was out of line and requesting any future feedback be direct and actionable. Welp...we'll see how it goes over.

Did you know the topic of the meeting before hand?  Did you show up to the meeting?

[Hall11235]

Not super epic, but maybe still worth a post...

My boss (the CEO), went to the office last Sunday to drop his custom-made Oooh La La RV off in the parking lot (long story), and get some work done. In addition to being the primary pre-sales support admin and installation manager of the descendants of those printers we were talking about on the last page, I also do cover some facilities stuff. This includes the alarm system.

I had shown the CEO how to use the alarm to arm and disarm the system (very easy - Pin + Away or Pin + Arm). Well, on that Sunday, he couldn't figure it out, triggered the alarm and the police showed up, etc. etc. He calls me, and, since it is Sunday at 3, I have a tone with him that he doesn't like.

Fast forward to Tuesday, he calls me and tells me that I am too valuable to ever leave, so that means he needs to compensate me enough that he can call me on a Sunday for emergencies and not be upset. This compensation turned into an additional 10k for me, and raises for all of my direct reports.

If I had known that all I had to do get raises was be an ass to my boss, I would have started a long time ago...

[Taran Wanderer]

That’s epic.

[mm1970]

If I had known that all I had to do get raises was be an ass to my boss, I would have started a long time ago...

Hm maybe I should try this!

[NorthernIkigai]

Fast forward to Tuesday, he calls me and tells me that I am too valuable to ever leave, so that means he needs to compensate me enough that he can call me on a Sunday for emergencies and not be upset. This compensation turned into an additional 10k for me

Epic AND hilarious! Were you even thinking you were flexing your FU money muscles here, or was it inadvertent?

Of course, paying a Mustachian more “to keep them from ever leaving” may not be a successful move…

[rantk81]

Of course, paying a Mustachian more “to keep them from ever leaving” may not be a successful move…

LOL! I've actually had that thought in my mind before, when I received raises/bonuses.
My employer thinks that they are rewarding me and making me loyal, in order to work harder and stay longer.... and for a mustachian, it is exactly the opposite!

[MrGreen]

Definitely epic. Is 10k enough for your boss to call you on Sunday without you being upset?

[Hall11235]

Fast forward to Tuesday, he calls me and tells me that I am too valuable to ever leave, so that means he needs to compensate me enough that he can call me on a Sunday for emergencies and not be upset. This compensation turned into an additional 10k for me

Epic AND hilarious! Were you even thinking you were flexing your FU money muscles here, or was it inadvertent?

Of course, paying a Mustachian more “to keep them from ever leaving” may not be a successful move…

I wish my brain was that big, haha! I was just irritated he had the temerity to call me on a Sunday!!

[dblaace]

Of course, paying a Mustachian more “to keep them from ever leaving” may not be a successful move…

My boss once said he'd pay me more but I'd just leave sooner.

[dandarc]

Of course, paying a Mustachian more “to keep them from ever leaving” may not be a successful move…

My boss once said he'd pay me more but I'd just leave sooner.

And you immediately submitted your resignation, right?

[dblaace]

Of course, paying a Mustachian more “to keep them from ever leaving” may not be a successful move…

My boss once said he'd pay me more but I'd just leave sooner.

And you immediately submitted your resignation, right?

No, it was in a joking manor. However I now have 29 28 days left.

[Dicey]

Of course, paying a Mustachian more “to keep them from ever leaving” may not be a successful move…

My boss once said he'd pay me more but I'd just leave sooner.

And you immediately submitted your resignation, right?

No, it was in a joking manor. However I now have 29 28 days left.

Does your boss know this?

[dblaace]

Of course, paying a Mustachian more “to keep them from ever leaving” may not be a successful move…

My boss once said he'd pay me more but I'd just leave sooner.

And you immediately submitted your resignation, right?

No, it was in a joking manor. However I now have 29 28 days left.

Does your boss know this?

Oh yeah, I gave him 5 months notice. He said that over a year ago.

[moof]

I have about two years left to hit my number, but things have been rough at work.  I am tired of having to manage my managers, among a great many other faults.

So after my wife realized just how unhappy I was she gave me the freedom to resign without getting anything lined up.  I told my manager today what I was thinking.  I gave him 48 hours to change my mind (i.e. come up with a viable plan to make things suck less) or he’ll get my official notice Friday.  I like most of the folks I work with, including him, but the company just is a basket-case that has broken my spirit.

[SwordGuy]

I have about two years left to hit my number, but things have been rough at work.  I am tired of having to manage my managers, among a great many other faults.

So after my wife realized just how unhappy I was she gave me the freedom to resign without getting anything lined up.  I told my manager today what I was thinking.  I gave him 48 hours to change my mind (i.e. come up with a viable plan to make things suck less) or he’ll get my official notice Friday.  I like most of the folks I work with, including him, but the company just is a basket-case that has broken my spirit.

FU money is a wonderful thing and this is what it's for!  Good job!

[NorthernIkigai]

Of course, paying a Mustachian more “to keep them from ever leaving” may not be a successful move…

LOL! I've actually had that thought in my mind before, when I received raises/bonuses.
My employer thinks that they are rewarding me and making me loyal, in order to work harder and stay longer.... and for a mustachian, it is exactly the opposite!

I guess it does work, until it very suddenly doesn't anymore. There's a recent discussion somewhere on the board about whether or not to let your employer know you have money (and therefore options). I guess in most circumstances it's better to at least be vague about your stash and timeline, since it can make a big professional difference whether you'll want to be employed for another year or 5 or 10.

[uniwelder]

I have about two years left to hit my number, but things have been rough at work.  I am tired of having to manage my managers, among a great many other faults.

So after my wife realized just how unhappy I was she gave me the freedom to resign without getting anything lined up.  I told my manager today what I was thinking.  I gave him 48 hours to change my mind (i.e. come up with a viable plan to make things suck less) or he’ll get my official notice Friday.  I like most of the folks I work with, including him, but the company just is a basket-case that has broken my spirit.

Be sure to update with the conclusion!

[Hall11235]

Definitely epic. Is 10k enough for your boss to call you on Sunday without you being upset?

For now, yes. I have a reputation of being 'blunt' and not playing 'the game' (as it relates to office politics,etc.). There is a clear understanding of who needs who in this employer-employee relationship. Every person I have reported to knows how small I live, and it has allowed me to earn respect from my superiors since I can be honest without fear of losing my shirt. :)

[Plina]

Definitely epic. Is 10k enough for your boss to call you on Sunday without you being upset?

For now, yes. I have a reputation of being 'blunt' and not playing 'the game' (as it relates to office politics,etc.). There is a clear understanding of who needs who in this employer-employee relationship. Every person I have reported to knows how small I live, and it has allowed me to earn respect from my superiors since I can be honest without fear of losing my shirt. :)

In most organisations you actually get rewarded for speaking up, because there are a lot of people not wanting to do it. I have always said what I thought even though I have learned to be more diplomatic than in my youth. I can play the game if it is needed to achieve an objective but prefer not to. I would probably not tell my employer when I was planning to leave but I would make certain that it is my choice to stay because I want to and not because I need to.

[alcon835]

Not really epic, but after an executive not in my chain of command scheduled a meeting with me to discuss his disapproval of some actions he imagined but that I did not actually take, refused to listen when I told him as much, and patronizingly lectured me on how my actions could affect others in the organization, I emailed him and the CEO (his boss) some direct feedback explaining that he was out of line and requesting any future feedback be direct and actionable. Welp...we'll see how it goes over.

This is the DEFINITION of epic FU! The story isn't over, but the very fact you could do this is epic beyond belief! Keep us updated :)

[NorthernIkigai]

In most organisations you actually get rewarded for speaking up, because there are a lot of people not wanting to do it. I have always said what I thought even though I have learned to be more diplomatic than in my youth.

And not just speaking up and saying what you think, but also asking for clarification when you don't understand something. I've found that people respect me a lot more when I say "I don't understand this bit here, could you explain it?" instead of just nodding along (like a lot of my colleagues do) and then misunderstanding and not doing the work right.

People are afraid they are going to look stupid if they admit to not understanding something, whereas it's literally part of the job to make sure they do understand it. Usually colleagues also appreciate that I asked since they also didn't get it but were too chicken to let anyone know... Not to mention all the holes in plans that get discovered because someone doesn't understand how it's supposed to work and then even the ones in charge realize it doesn't actually work.

[AlanStache]

I have made a point of asking 'dumb' questions in meetings in front of the new hire/fresh outs so they can see how it works and it is welcome (at least I hope that was what they took away).  Also I have spoken to some of then about personal finance and recommended mmm.  "I want you to feel financially secure so you can tell me I am full of shit when I am without fear of being fired and broke."

[LennStar]

I have made a point of asking 'dumb' questions in meetings in front of the new hire/fresh outs so they can see how it works and it is welcome (at least I hope that was what they took away).  Also I have spoken to some of then about personal finance and recommended mmm.  "I want you to feel financially secure so you can tell me I am full of shit when I am without fear of being fired and broke."

Isn't it strange that there are so many people on the internets who like to tell everyone how shit they are but nearly nobody in real life?
Maybe that are all those who can't say it in real life for this reason and they woudl stop if they would be FI?

Yeah right, but I can dream, okay?

[dhc]

Not really epic, but after an executive not in my chain of command scheduled a meeting with me to discuss his disapproval of some actions he imagined but that I did not actually take, refused to listen when I told him as much, and patronizingly lectured me on how my actions could affect others in the organization, I emailed him and the CEO (his boss) some direct feedback explaining that he was out of line and requesting any future feedback be direct and actionable. Welp...we'll see how it goes over.

Please come back and tell us how it goes.

Both my boss and the CEO backed me up, exec in question seems to realize be overreached despite a non-apology, and hopefully that's the last I have to think about it!

My take is actually that, as someone else mentioned upthread, most people tend to respect you for having a spine and being politely assertive in such circumstances, which seems to be what happened here.

[Ladychips]

Not really epic, but after an executive not in my chain of command scheduled a meeting with me to discuss his disapproval of some actions he imagined but that I did not actually take, refused to listen when I told him as much, and patronizingly lectured me on how my actions could affect others in the organization, I emailed him and the CEO (his boss) some direct feedback explaining that he was out of line and requesting any future feedback be direct and actionable. Welp...we'll see how it goes over.

Please come back and tell us how it goes.

Both my boss and the CEO backed me up, exec in question seems to realize be overreached despite a non-apology, and hopefully that's the last I have to think about it!

My take is actually that, as someone else mentioned upthread, most people tend to respect you for having a spine and being politely assertive in such circumstances, which seems to be what happened here.

Very nice! Thanks for following up!

[gooki]

My wife exercised our fuck you money to perfection this week.

She applied for a senior business partner role at her current employer.  It's a promotion in paper and dollars only as she's been doing the senior role for sometime already just without the recognition/reward. My wife's well respected by the managers she coaches, a great mentor to the younger staff in their team, and trusted by her team mates

She went through the whole interview process with her reporting manager (not one of the ones she coaches) and a couple of other staff, waited a couple of weeks, and was then told nope, no senior position for you, were hiring someone external...

Update time. Because of our fuck you money, my wife has been picky about her next role... Now shes just signed up with a new organization at a higher level position, better salary and doing more of what she loves and less of what she doesn't.

[LennStar]

My wife exercised our fuck you money to perfection this week.

She applied for a senior business partner role at her current employer.  It's a promotion in paper and dollars only as she's been doing the senior role for sometime already just without the recognition/reward. My wife's well respected by the managers she coaches, a great mentor to the younger staff in their team, and trusted by her team mates

She went through the whole interview process with her reporting manager (not one of the ones she coaches) and a couple of other staff, waited a couple of weeks, and was then told nope, no senior position for you, were hiring someone external...

Update time. Because of our fuck you money, my wife has been picky about her next role... Now shes just signed up with a new organization at a higher level position, better salary and doing more of what she loves and less of what she doesn't.

Sounds like a good deal to me!

[Dicey]

My wife exercised our fuck you money to perfection this week.

She applied for a senior business partner role at her current employer.  It's a promotion in paper and dollars only as she's been doing the senior role for sometime already just without the recognition/reward. My wife's well respected by the managers she coaches, a great mentor to the younger staff in their team, and trusted by her team mates

She went through the whole interview process with her reporting manager (not one of the ones she coaches) and a couple of other staff, waited a couple of weeks, and was then told nope, no senior position for you, were hiring someone external...

Update time. Because of our fuck you money, my wife has been picky about her next role... Now shes just signed up with a new organization at a higher level position, better salary and doing more of what she loves and less of what she doesn't.

Has she given notice yet? I want to hear how that went :-)

[Loren Ver]

My wife exercised our fuck you money to perfection this week.

She applied for a senior business partner role at her current employer.  It's a promotion in paper and dollars only as she's been doing the senior role for sometime already just without the recognition/reward. My wife's well respected by the managers she coaches, a great mentor to the younger staff in their team, and trusted by her team mates

She went through the whole interview process with her reporting manager (not one of the ones she coaches) and a couple of other staff, waited a couple of weeks, and was then told nope, no senior position for you, were hiring someone external...

Update time. Because of our fuck you money, my wife has been picky about her next role... Now shes just signed up with a new organization at a higher level position, better salary and doing more of what she loves and less of what she doesn't.

Has she given notice yet? I want to hear how that went :-)

She turned in her resignation in the original post with no place to go (IIRC).  gooki cut the quote short. 

[dandarc]

My wife exercised our fuck you money to perfection this week.

She applied for a senior business partner role at her current employer.  It's a promotion in paper and dollars only as she's been doing the senior role for sometime already just without the recognition/reward. My wife's well respected by the managers she coaches, a great mentor to the younger staff in their team, and trusted by her team mates

She went through the whole interview process with her reporting manager (not one of the ones she coaches) and a couple of other staff, waited a couple of weeks, and was then told nope, no senior position for you, were hiring someone external...

Update time. Because of our fuck you money, my wife has been picky about her next role... Now shes just signed up with a new organization at a higher level position, better salary and doing more of what she loves and less of what she doesn't.

Has she given notice yet? I want to hear how that went :-)

She turned in her resignation in the original post with no place to go (IIRC).  gooki cut the quote short.

Goddamn is this badass - end of that story in gooki's words: "The managers response was 'oh? Do you have somewhere else to go?' and my wife cool as ice says 'no, I'm happy to go', spins round and exits the room."

[moof]

I have about two years left to hit my number, but things have been rough at work.  I am tired of having to manage my managers, among a great many other faults.

So after my wife realized just how unhappy I was she gave me the freedom to resign without getting anything lined up.  I told my manager today what I was thinking.  I gave him 48 hours to change my mind (i.e. come up with a viable plan to make things suck less) or he’ll get my official notice Friday.  I like most of the folks I work with, including him, but the company just is a basket-case that has broken my spirit.

FU money is a wonderful thing and this is what it's for!  Good job!

I ended up giving them till today (Monday) to finish discussing my minimum line in the stand for changing things.  Company policy is not bendable enough, so I signed my resignation later and slid it across the table.  I feel for the managers, I like both of them personally, but the company has driven me crazy.  2 weeks and I'm out of here.  Sad, but relieving.

[BicycleB]

I have about two years left to hit my number, but things have been rough at work.  I am tired of having to manage my managers, among a great many other faults.

So after my wife realized just how unhappy I was she gave me the freedom to resign without getting anything lined up.  I told my manager today what I was thinking.  I gave him 48 hours to change my mind (i.e. come up with a viable plan to make things suck less) or he’ll get my official notice Friday.  I like most of the folks I work with, including him, but the company just is a basket-case that has broken my spirit.

FU money is a wonderful thing and this is what it's for!  Good job!

I ended up giving them till today (Monday) to finish discussing my minimum line in the stand for changing things.  Company policy is not bendable enough, so I signed my resignation later and slid it across the table.  I feel for the managers, I like both of them personally, but the company has driven me crazy.  2 weeks and I'm out of here.  Sad, but relieving.

Congrats, @moof! Best wishes in your new adventures. You've crossed the Rubicon!

[CowboyAndIndian]

My wife exercised our fuck you money to perfection this week.

She applied for a senior business partner role at her current employer.  It's a promotion in paper and dollars only as she's been doing the senior role for sometime already just without the recognition/reward. My wife's well respected by the managers she coaches, a great mentor to the younger staff in their team, and trusted by her team mates

She went through the whole interview process with her reporting manager (not one of the ones she coaches) and a couple of other staff, waited a couple of weeks, and was then told nope, no senior position for you, were hiring someone external...

Update time. Because of our fuck you money, my wife has been picky about her next role... Now shes just signed up with a new organization at a higher level position, better salary and doing more of what she loves and less of what she doesn't.

Really EPIC FU!

Congrats to your wife.

[CowboyAndIndian]

I ended up giving them till today (Monday) to finish discussing my minimum line in the stand for changing things.  Company policy is not bendable enough, so I signed my resignation later and slid it across the table.  I feel for the managers, I like both of them personally, but the company has driven me crazy.  2 weeks and I'm out of here.  Sad, but relieving.

Way to go @moof.

I've resigned once without a job lined up due to a toxic boss. Looking back, it was the best decision I made. It was wonderful for my mental health.

I spent a couple of months at home decompressing, then found another job (Story somewhere in the archives of this thread)

[LetsRetireYoung]

I'm not sure if my story is epic, but it definitely puts the "F" in "FU" hahaha

I spent 11.5 years working for Amazon, from a lowly warehouse temp to being a financial analyst at one of their biggest warehouses in North America. (Amazing what you can do if you transfer a lot, learn Excel, and are stubborn.) And yes, every negative story you heard about the company is true in some form or another. (I.e. it's not the warehouse workers that pee in bottles - it's the van drivers. Etc...)

Aaaanyway, the last 5 years were just part of my big plan: get a work transfer to another country, become a permanent resident of that country, squirrel away enough money to lean-FIRE, and then pull the plug. When I transferred from Seattle to Toronto, I had to take a 48% cut (yes, forty-eight percent) to my total compensation. That sucked - a lot - but it was a stepping stone to my final objective.

After yet another re-org, almost everyone (except me lol) transferred away, and we ended up with a lot of external hires who didn't quite know what the job entailed, so they doubled down on pointless paperwork, etc. Some of my newer, less experienced colleagues would take it all seriously, to the point where they would log on and work on Sundays (!!!) just to get the meaningless Monday reports done ahead of time. They would also keep bridging the bridges to the weekly bridges allll the way until Thursday. That was not healthy, and there were many other such incidents.

I finally got my Canadian PR (permanent residency) 2 years after moving here. That meant I no longer needed the job: before that, I was on a work permit, which meant "lose the job = go back home." :( I'd also used my financial skillz to handpick a portfolio of vastly undervalued stocks in May 2020... (Energy, retail shopping, cruise ships, etc) After I cashed in all my AMZN stock for my beat-up stock portfolio, it went up 197% the following year. Sooo, money was no longer the issue, either. :)

I think that toward the very end, my bosses realized I might not stay there forever. They finally got me my long-awaited promotion. It was just a 10% raise in total compensation. :-/ That's not too bad in and of itself, but that still meant I'd be making 43% less than when I was a lower-ranked office clerk back in Seattle 2 years prior.

Soooo, a week after they sent out the big and fancy promotion email, I sent them my 2-week notice LOLOLOLOL. In the email, I made it clear that my motivation wasn't spite or anything of the sort - it was just money, plain and simple. The bosses did not reply (aside from a curt acknowledgement), so I can only imagine how much my insubordination pissed them off. :) I finally received a very dry and formal "Thank you for all your hard work" reply from them at the very end. I'm a bit sad that I'll never know just how much my "FU" email embarrassed them, but on the upside, my imagination can keep coming up with different hilarious scenarios. :)