Author Topic: Epic FU money stories  (Read 1837126 times)

ysette9

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 7470
  • Location: Bay Area, CA
    • The Best Is Yet To Come
Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #3500 on: December 08, 2020, 08:49:20 PM »
Alright, we need a quitting story to reset things. This one's from 1998, and it's not mine, although I did witness it at close range.

My first real job was at a massive telemarketing company, trying (mostly unsuccessfully) to sell mail meters to businesses. After being trained to read the script, new telemarketers were held in a special area until we made a sale. This story is about Kwame, the sales runt of our litter.

Kwame’s Final Song

For every success in telemarketer hell there were hundreds of quiet disappointments. And with mounting failure came more unwanted attention from management. New employees that failed to convert their first score quickly began to feel the pressure to lose their sales virginity. The last holdout from our cohort was Kwame. Kwame was a nice guy, but a little too much ADD to hold down a sales job.
 
After two weeks without a single sale, Kwame was put back in training. When he came back, his calls were monitored by Marlene, the morbidly obese supervisor responsible for indoctrinating new hires. Often times, Marlene would sit next to Kwame, listening in on his calls - this is common in telemarketing, and the main reason phone salesmen don't easily quit - on a duplicate headset. As Kwame tried to work off the script, Marlene would whisper mostly-useless advice at him. Predictably, Kwame couldn’t handle juggling the script, a phone conversation and Marlene’s frantic wisdom (“Make them commit!”). As a result, his pitches grew ever more feeble and his sales remained unrealized.
 
After two more weeks of failure, it stood to reason that Kwame was not far from being put to pasture. It is surprising then, that his end came unexpectedly, and with more dignity than one might imagine.
 
For space reasons, Kwame had been released into the general population. On this particular day, he was sitting in the cubicle next to me. By now, Marlene had given up on live-coaching him, and had retreated to her office, where there was a TV that she used to watch her soaps. The theme of this day’s call list seemed to be sports-related businesses. Midway through the shift, Kwame drew a sports memorabilia shop. After making his halfhearted pitch unsuccessfully, Kwame brightened and asked if this year’s Topps Platinum Series MLB cards had arrived yet. What transpired next was a stunning example of reverse-telemarketing. Within minutes, the shop owner had apparently sweet-talked Kwame into buying something**.
 
There was one wrinkle, though: Kwame’s call was being monitored. Marlene the Manager had been listening, and she raced out from the back just as Kwame began reading off his credit card info into the phone. Marlene moved to intercept, but her pillowy body was too wide to fit down the narrow aisle of back-to-back telemarketers. You could hear the squishy collisions grow louder as she bounce-brushed hapless workers on her authority-fueled charge.
 
“Hang up the phone, Kwame!” Marlene commanded, eyes blazing as she plodded towards him. Kwame’s gaze traveled between Marlene, the credit card already in hand, and the rows of phone drones mumbling into their headsets around him. By the time he refocused on Marlene, it was clear he’d made a tactical decision to continue the transaction. Without saying a word, he ignored the supervisor’s imperative and continued feeding his credit card info into the phone.
 
Marlene verbally fired Kwame one second later. He nodded understandingly and put up a finger, asking for silence to complete his final transaction (for the record, this left his lifetime sales total with Marketing Solutions at an impressive minus one). Marlene, apparently drunk on the tiny amount of power she wielded, decided to escalate the situation, again ordering Kwame to hang up, and adding that he needed to pack up his shit immediately. Kwame took this with surprising equanimity, raising his voice only enough to be heard over the irate supervisor.
 
By this point, the altercation has attracted a crowd of interested onlookers. With Marlene so spectacularly deployed, everyone knew that the gestapo wasn't listening in. As a result, work ground to a halt as four-hundred depressed telemarketers watched the unfolding show. And what a show it was. Marlene was apoplectic, cursing out Kwame. For his part, Kwame was struggling to complete his purchase over her histrionics, and was simultaneously screaming his credit card information into the phone for all to hear.
 
In a perfect storm moment, Marlene dropped the N-word at exactly the same time Kwame’s credit card was declined. The mercurial Kwame finally exploded, splitting his fire between Marlene, the poor store owner, and Mastercard. After a furious minute of back-and-forth, Kwame rose and proceeded to leap on top of his swivel chair. “Fuck you!” he screamed into the phone. “Fuck you!” he repeated as he threw the phone's receiver at Marlene. The handset reached the end of its cord and jerked backwards with only centimeters to spare before striking Marlene between the eyes. Marlene pinwheeled backwards, jiggling mightily before dropping into what appeared to be a modified judo stance. “And fuck you!” Kwame added, jabbing a finger towards the small group of managers who’d appeared in response to the ruckus. Kwame rotated violently in my direction and leveled a finger at me. I flinched in anticipating of some overflow anger, readying myself to defend against a possible flip-kick.
 
At the last second, Mount Kwame became dormant. “You’re all cool,” he announced to the shocked crowd in a softer voice. Momentum spent, he hopped off the chair and headed for the front door, the last time any of us ever saw him. 

For those interested in life at this place during the last wave of telemarketing, this is part of a larger story I wrote here: https://www.ofmiceandmolecules.com/the-last-telemarketer.html

**These were early internet days where this sort of thing still happened.

ETA: Kwame's FU Money status was unknown, but he drove a Huffy, so his expenses were low.
For more of this excellent storytelling, wander over to @nippycrisp’s journal, all.

ysette9

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 7470
  • Location: Bay Area, CA
    • The Best Is Yet To Come
Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #3501 on: December 08, 2020, 08:52:15 PM »
I'm finally back on my desktop so I can repost Dr. Doom's FU Money story, posted way back in 2014:



I walked out of the highest paying job of my life at the tail end of 2006, IT work for a big financial company.  (Completely transparent hint:  VWELX without the V)

I'd been there about three and a half years.  First two years were good because I had a decent manager who showed signs of being a real human being once in a while.

Third year, I get a new manager, and he's a total Fbag.  He had his last name on his license plate.  Guys on his team instantly began working 65+ hours a week instead of an already demanding 50ish.  The company paid really well so I stuck with it.  It's only work, right?

Wrong.  He started calling all of his guys on home phones, cell phones, etc. to discuss any issues he could think of at any time.  I started to think of him as a terrorist because you never knew when the next attack was coming.  He would frame the calls in the guise of "production support" because part of our role was to provide after-hours support for systems and services that needed to be available.   But many of the topics were not directly related to outages and were really just beatings.  He was a micromanager, a control-freak, and a grade-A douche who hid his insecurity behind his overbearing and driven public persona.  God help his children.

The final straw came when I got a call on Sunday Dec 23rd in 2006.  We had an outage on Saturday and I'd been involved in fixing it.  My girlfriend (now wife) was helping me decorate a small, pathetic looking christmas tree.  We were trying to put work behind us and enjoy one quiet day to ourselves, without any office nonsense, prior to the upcoming week, which was going to be full of family visits and travel.  Just one goddamn quiet day, you know? 

I pick up the phone and he starts complaining about the work I did the previous day, Saturday.  (Saturday mind, you -- work I put in on a non-standard day.  I should also add it was the 6th Saturday in a row that I'd worked.  This was fairly typical for the job.)  He says I need to remember to "fall on my sword" as soon as I get back to the office on Dec 26th -- tell everyone that the Saturday problem was my fault and I'm taking the proper long term corrective actions to resolve it.  (The problem wasn't actually my fault but he wanted me to take responsibility for it anyway.)

I remind him it's Sunday, and we're coming up on Christmas, and ask if there's any current problem that needs to be resolved.  (I'm really asking:  are any systems down?  Is there any business related reason for this call or is this just a friendly Sunday afternoon beating?)  He says yes, the problem is we have too many outages and the perception of the team is negative.   I tell him we should talk about this Thursday live instead of two days before Christmas and hang up the phone.

My SO is furious.  I'm furious.  It's no longer a nice quiet day.  I try to let it go over the holidays but the anger sits in my stomach like a fruitcake from Big Y.  I can't see how I can make it through another year at this place, despite the incredible salary and benefits.

Thursday after Christmas I get into the office and my manager immediately shows up in my office to talk about Visibility, Perception and Politics.  I cut him off and say I'm leaving.

"Leaving, what you don't feel well?"
"No, leaving the company."
He takes a step back.  I'm sitting in my cube and he's standing in front of me.  "Where are you going?"  His eyes are really wide.
"Nowhere."
"You don't have another job lined up?"
"No."
"Is it the salary?"
"No."
"It is, isn't it?  I could work with HR to see if we could work something out."
"No, it's not.  You know what it is."  I'm staring at him with my arms across my chest.  He's clearly uncomfortable, kind of wavering on his feet, but I feel terrific.  I'm thinking:  Today's the last day I'm ever going to have to look at you or hear your voice.

He finally manages to say, "You should think about this.  Someone your age shouldn't leave your job."
And I said "I know exactly what I'm doing here.  Don't worry about me.  Worry about replacing me, because you'll need to."

The conversation went a little longer than that but not much.  They ended up escorting me out, probably because my manager knew I was angry and I had tons of passwords to critical systems and hey you never know.

I got a much better job a month later.  20% overall comp. package cut but 40% reduction in work and 100% removal of my old manager.

No regrets.  I feel obligated to add that it was actually a fine place to work, lots of bright people and interesting technologies.  But even decent jobs become intolerable when you're working under a toxic egomaniac workaholic inhuman prick.

One of the things I'm now fond of saying is that people usually don't leave their jobs.  They leave their managers.
Dr Doom is still my all-time favorite blog.
I spent a good amount of time reading hill while frustrated at work in the last several years of my career.

MoseyingAlong

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 239
Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #3502 on: December 08, 2020, 10:09:13 PM »
I'm finally back on my desktop so I can repost Dr. Doom's FU Money story, posted way back in 2014:

.....

Dr Doom is a fantastic storyteller. I check his blog every once in a while hoping he's posted something new. I'm happy he's off doing whatever but sad that he's stopped posting.

LennStar

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 2404
  • Location: Germany
Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #3503 on: December 09, 2020, 04:24:05 AM »
Alright, we need a quitting story to reset things. This one's from 1998, and it's not mine, although I did witness it at close range.

My first real job was at a massive telemarketing company, trying (mostly unsuccessfully) to sell mail meters to businesses. After being trained to read the script, new telemarketers were held in a special area until we made a sale. This story is about Kwame, the sales runt of our litter.

Kwame’s Final Song


Sounds like a telemerketer's equivalent to the CO half of the Navy has seen changing the course of the ship to get the sun out of his eyes :D

I have only one question:
What the hell is a mail meter?

I have something like a medieval mill in front of my eyes, but instead of water it's mail and instead of a grinding stone there is a chalk mark for every X amount of mail flowing down the wheel.

Moonwaves

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1556
  • Location: Germany
    • My blog
Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #3504 on: December 09, 2020, 04:35:10 AM »
I have only one question:
What the hell is a mail meter?

I have something like a medieval mill in front of my eyes, but instead of water it's mail and instead of a grinding stone there is a chalk mark for every X amount of mail flowing down the wheel.
LOL
I think it's a franking machine.

dcheesi

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1037
Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #3505 on: December 09, 2020, 05:47:19 AM »
I have only one question:
What the hell is a mail meter?

I have something like a medieval mill in front of my eyes, but instead of water it's mail and instead of a grinding stone there is a chalk mark for every X amount of mail flowing down the wheel.
LOL
I think it's a franking machine.
No offense, but if we don't know what "mail meter" means, what are the odds that "franking[?!] machine" is going to help us much? :-)

Mr. Google says it's a "postage meter", which is to say a special printer that prints metered postage on outgoing mail:
https://faq.usps.com/s/article/What-is-a-Postage-meter#:~:text=Postage%20Meters%20are%20postage%20printing,the%20actual%20date%20of%20mailing.

Moonwaves

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1556
  • Location: Germany
    • My blog
Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #3506 on: December 09, 2020, 06:54:50 AM »
I have only one question:
What the hell is a mail meter?

I have something like a medieval mill in front of my eyes, but instead of water it's mail and instead of a grinding stone there is a chalk mark for every X amount of mail flowing down the wheel.
LOL
I think it's a franking machine.
No offense, but if we don't know what "mail meter" means, what are the odds that "franking[?!] machine" is going to help us much? :-)

Mr. Google says it's a "postage meter", which is to say a special printer that prints metered postage on outgoing mail:
https://faq.usps.com/s/article/What-is-a-Postage-meter#:~:text=Postage%20Meters%20are%20postage%20printing,the%20actual%20date%20of%20mailing.
Sorry, I figured it was just an American vs. British term, not that people wouldn't know what it is. And since I was replying to Lennstar (who is German) and the German word for that device is almost the same (Frankiermaschine), I figured he would understand.

Dicey

  • Senior Mustachian
  • ********
  • Posts: 15226
  • Age: 63
  • Location: NorCal
Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #3507 on: December 09, 2020, 07:00:15 AM »
I have only one question:
What the hell is a mail meter?

I have something like a medieval mill in front of my eyes, but instead of water it's mail and instead of a grinding stone there is a chalk mark for every X amount of mail flowing down the wheel.
LOL
I think it's a franking machine.
No offense, but if we don't know what "mail meter" means, what are the odds that "franking[?!] machine" is going to help us much? :-)

Mr. Google says it's a "postage meter", which is to say a special printer that prints metered postage on outgoing mail:
https://faq.usps.com/s/article/What-is-a-Postage-meter#:~:text=Postage%20Meters%20are%20postage%20printing,the%20actual%20date%20of%20mailing.
Sorry, I figured it was just an American vs. British term, not that people wouldn't know what it is. And since I was replying to Lennstar (who is German) and the German word for that device is almost the same (Frankiermaschine), I figured he would understand.
I'm not German, and I got it, but maybe it's because I'm old. I even remember when Pitney Bowes was a common first job out of college sales job.

dcheesi

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1037
Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #3508 on: December 09, 2020, 08:58:21 AM »
I have only one question:
What the hell is a mail meter?

I have something like a medieval mill in front of my eyes, but instead of water it's mail and instead of a grinding stone there is a chalk mark for every X amount of mail flowing down the wheel.
LOL
I think it's a franking machine.
No offense, but if we don't know what "mail meter" means, what are the odds that "franking[?!] machine" is going to help us much? :-)

Mr. Google says it's a "postage meter", which is to say a special printer that prints metered postage on outgoing mail:
https://faq.usps.com/s/article/What-is-a-Postage-meter#:~:text=Postage%20Meters%20are%20postage%20printing,the%20actual%20date%20of%20mailing.
Sorry, I figured it was just an American vs. British term, not that people wouldn't know what it is. And since I was replying to Lennstar (who is German) and the German word for that device is almost the same (Frankiermaschine), I figured he would understand.
Ah, no worries. I'm from the USA, and I'd never heard the term "franking" before. I'm familiar with the postage-meter concept, just not all the names for it. As @Dicey mentioned, "Pitney Bowes" used to be the household name for that sort of thing here.

tct

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 89
Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #3509 on: December 09, 2020, 10:13:26 AM »

mm1970

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 8877
Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #3510 on: December 09, 2020, 12:47:08 PM »

AlanStache

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 2127
  • Age: 41
  • Location: South East Virginia
Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #3511 on: December 09, 2020, 01:52:14 PM »

Dicey

  • Senior Mustachian
  • ********
  • Posts: 15226
  • Age: 63
  • Location: NorCal
Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #3512 on: December 09, 2020, 03:37:54 PM »

Dicey

  • Senior Mustachian
  • ********
  • Posts: 15226
  • Age: 63
  • Location: NorCal
Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #3513 on: December 09, 2020, 03:43:07 PM »
And of course, there's this. And now I'll be singing that for the rest of the day.

Moving to save on taxes is a crapshoot. Municipalities have to find ways to pay the bills, they just use different terminology for the way they extort their citizens get the money they need.

Blackeagle

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 185
  • Location: Wichita, KS
Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #3514 on: December 09, 2020, 06:14:01 PM »
On the flip side, Elon is doing some pretty cool stuff in Texas.

LennStar

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 2404
  • Location: Germany
Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #3515 on: December 10, 2020, 03:40:08 AM »
I have only one question:
What the hell is a mail meter?

I have something like a medieval mill in front of my eyes, but instead of water it's mail and instead of a grinding stone there is a chalk mark for every X amount of mail flowing down the wheel.
LOL
I think it's a franking machine.
No offense, but if we don't know what "mail meter" means, what are the odds that "franking[?!] machine" is going to help us much? :-)

Mr. Google says it's a "postage meter", which is to say a special printer that prints metered postage on outgoing mail:
https://faq.usps.com/s/article/What-is-a-Postage-meter#:~:text=Postage%20Meters%20are%20postage%20printing,the%20actual%20date%20of%20mailing.
Sorry, I figured it was just an American vs. British term, not that people wouldn't know what it is. And since I was replying to Lennstar (who is German) and the German word for that device is almost the same (Frankiermaschine), I figured he would understand.

And for the record, I have. :D

Frankiermaschinenverwirrungsauflösungsdanksagungspost. (post that said thanks for clearing up the confusion about the franking machine)

WhiteTrashCash

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1831
Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #3516 on: December 10, 2020, 06:50:57 AM »
The biggest $ FU money story of all time:
https://www.foxbusiness.com/business-leaders/tesla-elon-musk-california-texas
Bye Felicia
Fellow Californian, laughing right along with you...

Yeah, I don't know why people think this is such a great thing, because now Elon Musk has to live in Texas. Ew.

Psychstache

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1167
Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #3517 on: December 10, 2020, 09:13:49 AM »
The biggest $ FU money story of all time:
https://www.foxbusiness.com/business-leaders/tesla-elon-musk-california-texas
Bye Felicia
Fellow Californian, laughing right along with you...

Yeah, I don't know why people think this is such a great thing, because now Elon Musk has to live in Texas. Ew.

Can confirm. Live in Texas. The tax savings are very much a 'you get what you pay for' kind of situation.

partgypsy

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 4461
Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #3518 on: December 10, 2020, 09:42:48 AM »
I love that. Telemarketing is such a crazy job. In college I worked a short stint on the phones and at our office, everyone was either a college kid or an alcoholic with nowhere else to work. When I decided to quit I just stopped showing up and nobody ever called or checked up on me, I just stopped getting checks. I imagine most places are a revolving door.

I worked a telemarketing job  (customer satisfaction surveys for purchase or repair of luxury autos) between a serious job and starting grad school. when I was interviewing they asked me how long I was thinking I was going to stay at the job. I am terrible at lying so let them know I was planning to work until going to grad school in x months. The interviewer noticeiably relaxed at this news. While this was an interview to hire me they don't WANT people staying... It wasn't the worst job but it was sucky. I had to take 2 buses to get there and back, and it was one phone call after another (you were on a headset and phones were dialed and connected automatically) and sometimes after you finish a call a supervisor's voice will suddenly be on your line giving you advice.
My most exciting moment was when I was connected to speak to a John Kennedy Jr in Boston MA (this was early 90's). Alas a middle-aged sounding lady answered the phone and said he wasn't there, so I wasn't able to speak to him on the phone.

A more relevant story is that of my ex. He was working at a restaurant in the back in HS or community college age. The manager was awful and yelled all the time, also would mess with people's schedules just for fun. I don't remember the actual details but manager in the middle of a busy shift started yelling at him, even though he was doing the work of two people because they were short staffed. So he had enough took off his apron and said he quits (in the middle of the shift). And the manager says somethng inane like "you can't do that!" and he says "I just did" and leaves. He's at home when 3 more people from the kitchen show up at his doorstep saying that they quit too! And as they left the manager was in the kitchen trying to cook food even though he didn't know how to.
« Last Edit: December 10, 2020, 09:53:32 AM by partgypsy »

former player

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 6352
  • Location: Avalon
Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #3519 on: December 10, 2020, 09:45:07 AM »
The biggest $ FU money story of all time:
https://www.foxbusiness.com/business-leaders/tesla-elon-musk-california-texas
Bye Felicia
Fellow Californian, laughing right along with you...

Yeah, I don't know why people think this is such a great thing, because now Elon Musk has to live in Texas. Ew.

Can confirm. Live in Texas. The tax savings are very much a 'you get what you pay for' kind of situation.
If you are as rich as Musk you more or less have your own small country surrounding you and it will be much the same wherever you are.

Psychstache

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1167
Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #3520 on: December 10, 2020, 10:20:54 AM »
The biggest $ FU money story of all time:
https://www.foxbusiness.com/business-leaders/tesla-elon-musk-california-texas
Bye Felicia
Fellow Californian, laughing right along with you...

Yeah, I don't know why people think this is such a great thing, because now Elon Musk has to live in Texas. Ew.

Can confirm. Live in Texas. The tax savings are very much a 'you get what you pay for' kind of situation.
If you are as rich as Musk you more or less have your own small country surrounding you and it will be much the same wherever you are.

Which only further begs the question that if you can live anywhere,  why would you live in a shitty climate like Texas?

Sibley

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 5033
  • Location: Northwest Indiana
Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #3521 on: December 10, 2020, 10:22:07 AM »
The biggest $ FU money story of all time:
https://www.foxbusiness.com/business-leaders/tesla-elon-musk-california-texas
Bye Felicia
Fellow Californian, laughing right along with you...

Yeah, I don't know why people think this is such a great thing, because now Elon Musk has to live in Texas. Ew.

Can confirm. Live in Texas. The tax savings are very much a 'you get what you pay for' kind of situation.
If you are as rich as Musk you more or less have your own small country surrounding you and it will be much the same wherever you are.

Which only further begs the question that if you can live anywhere,  why would you live in a shitty climate like Texas?

Because Texas is probably going to leave him alone and do whatever he wants. Regardless if it's a good idea or not.

WhiteTrashCash

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1831
Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #3522 on: December 10, 2020, 11:41:01 AM »
The biggest $ FU money story of all time:
https://www.foxbusiness.com/business-leaders/tesla-elon-musk-california-texas
Bye Felicia
Fellow Californian, laughing right along with you...

Yeah, I don't know why people think this is such a great thing, because now Elon Musk has to live in Texas. Ew.

Can confirm. Live in Texas. The tax savings are very much a 'you get what you pay for' kind of situation.
If you are as rich as Musk you more or less have your own small country surrounding you and it will be much the same wherever you are.

Which only further begs the question that if you can live anywhere,  why would you live in a shitty climate like Texas?

Because Texas is probably going to leave him alone and do whatever he wants. Regardless if it's a good idea or not.

Musk is also wealthy enough that he doesn't need to do his own shopping, so he won't encounter the wingnuts who open carry assault rifles to the grocery store in Texas.

AlanStache

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 2127
  • Age: 41
  • Location: South East Virginia
Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #3523 on: December 10, 2020, 12:05:01 PM »
Moving to Texas would let him be more hands on with StarShip and the giga-factorie(s?) opening there .  StarShip is the path for him to become even more insanely rich and fulfill one of his major stated goals of getting people off this isolated single rock.  Also he was vocally opposed to the California covid restrictions vs Texas having fewer restrictions.  At this point he no longer needs to be around the west coast tech/vc infrastructure - they will come to him when he wants them.

BicycleB

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 3113
  • Location: Live Music Capital of the World
  • Older than the internet, but not wiser... yet
Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #3524 on: December 10, 2020, 01:27:45 PM »
The biggest $ FU money story of all time:
https://www.foxbusiness.com/business-leaders/tesla-elon-musk-california-texas
Bye Felicia
Fellow Californian, laughing right along with you...

Yeah, I don't know why people think this is such a great thing, because now Elon Musk has to live in Texas. Ew.

Can confirm. Live in Texas. The tax savings are very much a 'you get what you pay for' kind of situation.
If you are as rich as Musk you more or less have your own small country surrounding you and it will be much the same wherever you are.

Which only further begs the question that if you can live anywhere,  why would you live in a shitty climate like Texas?

LOL.

Just got back inside after a brisk masked 45 minute stroll in my backyard. Tromping a lovely figure 8 of sorts there due to personal quarantine. Clear blue skies, 76 degrees F, the gentlest of breezes rustling the leaves. Terrible climate. Terrible!


haflander

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 364
  • Age: 30
  • Location: Dallas
Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #3525 on: December 10, 2020, 01:36:40 PM »
LOL.

Just got back inside after a brisk masked 45 minute stroll in my backyard. Tromping a lovely figure 8 of sorts there due to personal quarantine. Clear blue skies, 76 degrees F, the gentlest of breezes rustling the leaves. Terrible climate. Terrible!

Agree. Beautiful day in Big D as well, 78 right now. T-shirt and shorts, multiple walks with the dog outside, not to mention "working" from the patio.

Don't ask about August, though.

mm1970

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 8877
Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #3526 on: December 10, 2020, 02:37:45 PM »
LOL.

Just got back inside after a brisk masked 45 minute stroll in my backyard. Tromping a lovely figure 8 of sorts there due to personal quarantine. Clear blue skies, 76 degrees F, the gentlest of breezes rustling the leaves. Terrible climate. Terrible!

Agree. Beautiful day in Big D as well, 78 right now. T-shirt and shorts, multiple walks with the dog outside, not to mention "working" from the patio.

Don't ask about August, though.
Yeah, about 5-10 years ago my old boss and a different friend were trying to lure me to Dallas.  It was summer.  Hard no thanks.

Uturn

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 789
  • Age: 51
  • Location: Raleigh, NC
Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #3527 on: December 10, 2020, 02:51:05 PM »
I lived in Fort Worth most of my life, moved to NC about 3 years ago.  I have been back to DFW 3 or 4 times, and each time I think "nope, still don't miss it."

zolotiyeruki

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 4077
  • Location: State: Denial
Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #3528 on: December 10, 2020, 03:23:33 PM »
I used to live in the Houston area.  I hated the climate.  But that was about the only I thing I disliked.  Everything else was fantastic--the people, the food, low housing prices, good schools, low taxes...

Psychstache

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1167
Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #3529 on: December 10, 2020, 04:29:33 PM »
I lived in Houston for 20 years. Hot and humid as balls and it rained at least once a day.

Lived in San Antonio for about 4 years. Hot as balls.

Currently live in Dallas and I've been here for about 10 years. hottest balls and then it also gets ridiculously cold sometimes.

Don't let a handful of days this time of year and like a week in April fool you. The climate here is shit and I stand by that statement.

haflander

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 364
  • Age: 30
  • Location: Dallas
Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #3530 on: December 10, 2020, 05:39:39 PM »
I lived in Houston for 20 years. Hot and humid as balls and it rained at least once a day.

Lived in San Antonio for about 4 years. Hot as balls.

Currently live in Dallas and I've been here for about 10 years. hottest balls and then it also gets ridiculously cold sometimes.

Don't let a handful of days this time of year and like a week in April fool you. The climate here is shit and I stand by that statement.

Ok, now you've really lost any and all credibility. Let someone from the Midwest or Northeast chime in and tell you what ridiculously cold actually means.

RyanAtTanagra

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1215
  • Location: SF Bay, CA
Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #3531 on: December 10, 2020, 05:50:43 PM »
Ok, now you've really lost any and all credibility. Let someone from the Midwest or Northeast chime in and tell you what ridiculously cold actually means.

Let's not.  Can we get back on topic?

dandarc

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 4410
  • Age: 38
Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #3532 on: December 10, 2020, 06:00:15 PM »
Ok, now you've really lost any and all credibility. Let someone from the Midwest or Northeast chime in and tell you what ridiculously cold actually means.

Let's not.  Can we get back on topic?
It was late December of 2007. The City of Lansing, MI had just run out of salt for the roads, with no end to winter in sight. I got a call from a recruiter - "we have a position open on a project with the Florida Department of Children and Families." I didn't have much money, but I had some. That tiny pile of FU money gave me just enough of a sense of security to give my notice and take the new job in the warmer climate - started January 8th if I recall correctly.

Close enough?

RyanAtTanagra

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1215
  • Location: SF Bay, CA
Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #3533 on: December 10, 2020, 06:20:59 PM »
Ok, now you've really lost any and all credibility. Let someone from the Midwest or Northeast chime in and tell you what ridiculously cold actually means.

Let's not.  Can we get back on topic?
It was late December of 2007. The City of Lansing, MI had just run out of salt for the roads, with no end to winter in sight. I got a call from a recruiter - "we have a position open on a project with the Florida Department of Children and Families." I didn't have much money, but I had some. That tiny pile of FU money gave me just enough of a sense of security to give my notice and take the new job in the warmer climate - started January 8th if I recall correctly.

Close enough?

Good segway.  Bravo and thank you :-)

Alternatepriorities

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1138
  • Age: 40
  • Location: Alaska
  • Engineer, explorer, investor
    • Alternate Priorities
Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #3534 on: December 10, 2020, 07:05:33 PM »
Ok, now you've really lost any and all credibility. Let someone from the Midwest or Northeast chime in and tell you what ridiculously cold actually means.

Let's not.  Can we get back on topic?

Come on, it will be fun... I'd like to submit that "ridiculously cold" starts around -55 F when even the winter diesle/heating oil gels up and won't flow out of the tanks into the furnace anymore. Though I'd be willing to hear arguments for -44 F when propane stays a liquid at atmospheric pressure and the kitchen stove stops working.

Bring it back to the topic at hand, I submit that the warm comforting feeling of looking out the window at a fat pile of firewood in the yard as the mercury freezes solid (-38F) is very similar to the feeling of seeing a nice fat FU fund in the bank when the boss makes your blood boil!

markbike528CBX

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1609
  • Location: the Everbrown part of the Evergreen State (WA)
Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #3535 on: December 10, 2020, 07:31:01 PM »
-55F might be where the orange paint peals off the black boxes.

LennStar

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 2404
  • Location: Germany
Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #3536 on: December 11, 2020, 04:24:05 AM »
-55F might be where the orange paint peals off the black boxes.
You win the Jackpot.

BlueHouse

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 3588
  • Location: WDC
Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #3537 on: December 11, 2020, 06:05:05 AM »
then eventually the side gig became profitable enough that they quit their day jobs.

That might be the reason right there!

Holding someone back to force loyalty. Not really the person I would want to work for.

I used to think of this as salaried employees should be giving all their brain CPU cycles to the company.  Now that I have a life outside of my job, I no longer feel that way (for me), but I've seen enough people abuse their positions and "double dip" by doing outside work on company time that it still makes me leery.  And for a salaried employee, what exactly is "company time" vs. non-company time?  Most of my great ideas come to me at 4:30 am or in the shower in the morning. 

Then again, I just came to the conclusion that I've spent my entire life anxious about work --- even when I'm completely prepared and ready for anything, I'm still stressed and anxious. 

Anyway, FU money means I no longer care about this and people can do whatever they want.

snowball

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 112
  • Location: Arabian Gulf
Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #3538 on: December 11, 2020, 08:18:10 AM »
The fact that I have enough money now for leanFIRE is...increasingly turning me into a loose cannon at work, it seems.  (Might lead to an epic story eventually.  For now, I give you an anecdote.)

A few weeks ago I had a brilliant realization that I don't think would ever have come to me back in the days when I was more concerned about holding onto my job.  Context: The nameplates on our office doors consist of a plastic holder with a slip of paper, your name and title printed on it.  Normally Facilities staff come swap out the paper when an office is reassigned or a title changes.

But it's just a piece of paper.  Eminently self-replaceable...

And - my job title is so boring.  Hardly an incentive to continue OMY'ing, though my employer knows not that this is what I am doing.  But really, for my employer's own good, clearly my boring title is a morale / staff retention issue that needs to be addressed (she says virtuously).

Thought led to action within the hour, and thus...my new job title was born.

So far no one's noticed the change except a few people I pointed it out to, who found it hilarious.  I bet I can go literally years without anyone noticing on their own, especially since I retained the first couple of words from my official title.  You'd have to keep reading to notice, and who does that?  (I guess I will find out!)

My new title? Section Head, Dragon and Pixiedust Wrangling.
« Last Edit: December 11, 2020, 08:23:30 AM by snowball »

Dicey

  • Senior Mustachian
  • ********
  • Posts: 15226
  • Age: 63
  • Location: NorCal
Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #3539 on: December 11, 2020, 08:24:07 AM »
-55F might be where the orange paint peals off the black boxes.
Is there a ringing sound when that happens?

Adventine

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1776
  • Age: 32
  • Location: Memphis, USA
Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #3540 on: December 11, 2020, 08:39:13 AM »
The fact that I have enough money now for leanFIRE is...increasingly turning me into a loose cannon at work, it seems.  (Might lead to an epic story eventually.  For now, I give you an anecdote.)

A few weeks ago I had a brilliant realization that I don't think would ever have come to me back in the days when I was more concerned about holding onto my job.  Context: The nameplates on our office doors consist of a plastic holder with a slip of paper, your name and title printed on it.  Normally Facilities staff come swap out the paper when an office is reassigned or a title changes.

But it's just a piece of paper.  Eminently self-replaceable...

And - my job title is so boring.  Hardly an incentive to continue OMY'ing, though my employer knows not that this is what I am doing.  But really, for my employer's own good, clearly my boring title is a morale / staff retention issue that needs to be addressed (she says virtuously).

Thought led to action within the hour, and thus...my new job title was born.

So far no one's noticed the change except a few people I pointed it out to, who found it hilarious.  I bet I can go literally years without anyone noticing on their own, especially since I retained the first couple of words from my official title.  You'd have to keep reading to notice, and who does that?  (I guess I will find out!)

My new title? Section Head, Dragon and Pixiedust Wrangling.

Got any openings for Team Coordinator for Rainbow Sparkles?

Dicey

  • Senior Mustachian
  • ********
  • Posts: 15226
  • Age: 63
  • Location: NorCal
Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #3541 on: December 11, 2020, 09:13:50 AM »
The fact that I have enough money now for leanFIRE is...increasingly turning me into a loose cannon at work, it seems.  (Might lead to an epic story eventually.  For now, I give you an anecdote.)

A few weeks ago I had a brilliant realization that I don't think would ever have come to me back in the days when I was more concerned about holding onto my job.  Context: The nameplates on our office doors consist of a plastic holder with a slip of paper, your name and title printed on it.  Normally Facilities staff come swap out the paper when an office is reassigned or a title changes.

But it's just a piece of paper.  Eminently self-replaceable...

And - my job title is so boring.  Hardly an incentive to continue OMY'ing, though my employer knows not that this is what I am doing.  But really, for my employer's own good, clearly my boring title is a morale / staff retention issue that needs to be addressed (she says virtuously).

Thought led to action within the hour, and thus...my new job title was born.

So far no one's noticed the change except a few people I pointed it out to, who found it hilarious.  I bet I can go literally years without anyone noticing on their own, especially since I retained the first couple of words from my official title.  You'd have to keep reading to notice, and who does that?  (I guess I will find out!)

My new title? Section Head, Dragon and Pixiedust Wrangling.

Got any openings for Team Coordinator for Rainbow Sparkles?
I'd hire you for that job in a heartbeat. Oh, wait...I'm FIRE.

Adventine

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1776
  • Age: 32
  • Location: Memphis, USA
Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #3542 on: December 11, 2020, 09:16:35 AM »
@Dicey for you, this sparkle specialist will always work for free ;)

Plina

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 485
Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #3543 on: December 11, 2020, 09:26:35 AM »
then eventually the side gig became profitable enough that they quit their day jobs.

That might be the reason right there!

Holding someone back to force loyalty. Not really the person I would want to work for.

I used to think of this as salaried employees should be giving all their brain CPU cycles to the company.  Now that I have a life outside of my job, I no longer feel that way (for me), but I've seen enough people abuse their positions and "double dip" by doing outside work on company time that it still makes me leery.  And for a salaried employee, what exactly is "company time" vs. non-company time?  Most of my great ideas come to me at 4:30 am or in the shower in the morning. 

Then again, I just came to the conclusion that I've spent my entire life anxious about work --- even when I'm completely prepared and ready for anything, I'm still stressed and anxious. 

Anyway, FU money means I no longer care about this and people can do whatever they want.

I think it is enough if I give my 40 hours per week as average of my brainpower  to the company. That is what they pay me. Some weeks it is less and some weeks it is more. My brain is unfortunately sometimes unable to shut off and steals a bit more brainpower. Because I have flexible workhours I don’t see it as as problem to do personal things during a workday, but I would not double dip.

I have never felt that I can’t express my opinion at a workplace but I also realize I care less about company bs the more money I have.

techwiz

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 2019
  • Location: Ontario
Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #3544 on: December 11, 2020, 10:17:53 AM »
The fact that I have enough money now for leanFIRE is...increasingly turning me into a loose cannon at work, it seems.  (Might lead to an epic story eventually.  For now, I give you an anecdote.)

A few weeks ago I had a brilliant realization that I don't think would ever have come to me back in the days when I was more concerned about holding onto my job.  Context: The nameplates on our office doors consist of a plastic holder with a slip of paper, your name and title printed on it.  Normally Facilities staff come swap out the paper when an office is reassigned or a title changes.

But it's just a piece of paper.  Eminently self-replaceable...

And - my job title is so boring.  Hardly an incentive to continue OMY'ing, though my employer knows not that this is what I am doing.  But really, for my employer's own good, clearly my boring title is a morale / staff retention issue that needs to be addressed.

Thought led to action within the hour, and thus...my new job title was born.

So far no one's noticed the change except a few people I pointed it out to, who found it hilarious.  I bet I can go literally years without anyone noticing on their own, especially since I retained the first couple of words from my official title.  You'd have to keep reading to notice, and who does that?  (I guess I will find out!)

My new title? Section Head, Dragon and Pixiedust Wrangling.

Love it.

We have done the same at our office, putting up nicknames, motivational/humorous additions.  We do not have clients coming to our cubicles and now with working from home those little moral boosting titles don't get seen at all. 

« Last Edit: December 11, 2020, 11:49:16 AM by techwiz »

lhamo

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1151
  • Location: Seattle
Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #3545 on: December 11, 2020, 11:14:56 AM »
The fact that I have enough money now for leanFIRE is...increasingly turning me into a loose cannon at work, it seems.  (Might lead to an epic story eventually.  For now, I give you an anecdote.)

A few weeks ago I had a brilliant realization that I don't think would ever have come to me back in the days when I was more concerned about holding onto my job.  Context: The nameplates on our office doors consist of a plastic holder with a slip of paper, your name and title printed on it.  Normally Facilities staff come swap out the paper when an office is reassigned or a title changes.

But it's just a piece of paper.  Eminently self-replaceable...

And - my job title is so boring.  Hardly an incentive to continue OMY'ing, though my employer knows not that this is what I am doing.  But really, for my employer's own good, clearly my boring title is a morale / staff retention issue that needs to be addressed (she says virtuously).

Thought led to action within the hour, and thus...my new job title was born.

So far no one's noticed the change except a few people I pointed it out to, who found it hilarious.  I bet I can go literally years without anyone noticing on their own, especially since I retained the first couple of words from my official title.  You'd have to keep reading to notice, and who does that?  (I guess I will find out!)

My new title? Section Head, Dragon and Pixiedust Wrangling.

Got any openings for Team Coordinator for Rainbow Sparkles?

I can send you my C.V that shows I am eminently qualified for Senior Technical Advisor, Doing Whatever the Fuck I Want Division.

desk_jockey

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 312
Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #3546 on: December 11, 2020, 11:54:15 AM »
Thought led to action within the hour, and thus...my new job title was born.
[...]
My new title? Section Head, Dragon and Pixiedust Wrangling.

Yes, self-confidence in one’s ability and standing within the company multiplied by FU money should lead to new and improved job titles.   An abbreviated version of my official job title is Bid Manager.   On multiple occasions in internal use, that title has been changed to Bid Messiah. 

Dicey

  • Senior Mustachian
  • ********
  • Posts: 15226
  • Age: 63
  • Location: NorCal
Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #3547 on: December 11, 2020, 12:15:29 PM »
@Dicey for you, this sparkle specialist will always work for free ;)
Awww, but instead of working, let's play together instead. After the pandemic, of course.

Aegishjalmur

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 274
Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #3548 on: December 11, 2020, 01:42:40 PM »


My new title? Section Head, Dragon and Pixiedust Wrangling.

That is hilarious.... The sad part is that most people are so burned out on buzzwords and business speak that they will assume it's just an obscure code or new phrase and will not question it as they don't want to appear out of the loop....

Alternatepriorities

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1138
  • Age: 40
  • Location: Alaska
  • Engineer, explorer, investor
    • Alternate Priorities
Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #3549 on: December 11, 2020, 01:44:40 PM »


My new title? Section Head, Dragon and Pixiedust Wrangling.

That is hilarious.... The sad part is that most people are so burned out on buzzwords and business speak that they will assume it's just an obscure code or new phrase and will not question it as they don't want to appear out of the loop....

I start to tune out about the third buzzword.