Some really inspirational stories here. Mine doesn't feel inspirational, but I'll add it anyway.
I spent three years at a wonderful job getting to do work I really enjoyed, with people who were vocal about their appreciation. It was one of the healthier office environments I've been in.
Then, a couple of months ago, a guy who'd seemed fine when he was hired a year ago dumped a load of toxic bile on me in a private message, in response to my reaching out to him to clarify something about my role that he seemed to have misunderstood. He basically insulted my work, my work ethic, my competence, and my understanding of the industry, and he tried to set expectations for my job, even though he was nowhere in my management chain, and I've been working in this industry since he was in diapers.
I was shocked, upset, and angry. I didn't respond directly, because it was clear the guy wasn't going to listen to me; instead, I went to his manager, who agreed the guy was way out of line and said he'd talk to him.
Fast forward a month and a half, and suddenly, the situation has been reframed as a personality clash, and now I'm part of the problem. I'm getting pressure from the guy's management to see things from his POV, even though that initial incident was never resolved, and to sit down and have a meeting with him and his manager. I was uncomfortable but ultimately agreed, trying to be a team player.
That meeting was the most disturbing experience I've ever had in a work environment. It was clear to me that the guy didn't actually have an issue with me or my work, or even really understand it; he was overwhelmed and stressed out, and looking for someone to use as a punching bag. And his manager just sat there and let the guy verbally attack me; anger, hostility, and blame were just radiating off the guy the whole time.
So I gave notice. I'd told my manager about the initial incident, but I'd thought it was being handled, so I'd told him he didn't have to do anything. And then things escalated so fast there was no way in hell I was staying at that company. I barely ate or slept for the next couple of weeks, but managed to go into the office and finish up some final tasks. And then my last day came, and I was gone.
Funny thing -- I have heard at least two other people complain about the guy's behavior. So I know it's not just me. I also know that I could have escalated further up his management chain and mine, but it just wasn't worth it, because at the point where his management has been swayed to his side, it's game over and I can't win. I've seen this movie before. The more you escalate, the uglier it gets, and the more you become the problem. I wanted to leave without burning bridges, so I made my quiet exit. I know that as long as I was there, any issues the guy had would be blamed on me. Now, when he picks his next scapegoat, maybe someone in his management chain will start to see the pattern. The whole situation has left a really sour taste in my mouth, but at least I'm free of it now.
I don't know if I'm actually FIRE, but I'm certainly going to take an extended vacation for a year, or two, or ten.
And I thank my lucky stars for my FU money. Never again will I stay in a toxic situation that slowly destroys my health and sanity. And I am so grateful that I have the breathing room to put my stressed-out brain back together, and to recover from one of my more unpleasant and unsettling workplace experiences.