Well, I gave notice today at work. Wish I could say that it was epic, but honestly it was mostly exhausting and emotional. (The smoke detector deciding to start chirping at 1am about low battery didn't help with any of it.) I was honest about why I was leaving, and it seems some of the strain I've been under this year showed. It surprised me - I've apparently been employing some defensive mechanisms and didn't realize how much some of this has affected me.
Cliff notes of the issues: manager is alternately micromanage-ey and unavailable when you need her, then when you do something perfectly reasonable, tells you that you should have checked with her first. Her written communication style reads as hypercritical and disapproving, even though I know she doesn't intend it that way. Parts of my work require intense manager involvement/review, and she regularly doesn't do this timely. By the time she gets around to it, it's the last minute and becomes a frantic effort to make the changes. Then she tells you not to be so frantic (WTF? You made massive changes to the document half an hour before I have to present it to the VP! I gave the damn thing to you 2 days ago!). While this particular combination is annoying and frustrating for my coworkers, turns out that it's toxic to me. While I like her as a person, as a manager she's a disaster for me.
I've been assured by both my manager's boss and grandboss (various flavors of director) that they will be doing coaching and other things to address the problems. The grand boss told me that he'd been planning to move around the manager assignments so it wasn't so siloed, as well as moving some managerial tasks around to rebalance workloads. All of which is great and should really take the stress off the staff next year, but I don't think I can recover (and it is a recovery) without a massive change. Interestingly, he told me that he would wait to start anything until after my last day "to avoid causing me any more stress". Holy crap, what a day for my poker face to take a vacation! This guy is gruff, blunt, and doesn't pay attention to emotions. I think I made an impression, and I really didn't mean to.
They're not really pushing to try to get me to stay, which is not the MO for them. I was told very specifically that if I ever want to return, I just have to say the word. It's one thing for your employee to tell you that they're getting more money or a promotion going somewhere else, and quite different for them to say they're leaving because they feel un-trusted and incompetent due to the mgmt style on a near daily basis and are going to the exact same job but somewhere else. Especially when it's one of your high performers. I got promoted earlier this year, and another director who I work with (but not in my reporting line) hinted that I had been on the promotion list for 2018. (For context, it usually takes 2-3 years to go between these levels.) So clearly, they think I'm good. What a pity my manager had to convey the opposite impression.
I haven't heard from the great-grand boss yet, but I was also told he knows and is not happy. After all, he's got a team of 12 losing 2 experienced staff in the space of a couple weeks (my coworker's last day is Thursday, he's just as good as I am though we have different strengths). This puts a major project in jeopardy. I expect that I will be talking to him at some point. I plan to be more vague about why I'm leaving with him, and hopefully what little poker face I have will be back on by then. Whether or not he tries to get me to stay, we'll see. He generally takes his director's input on staff matters, though has been known to override. I guess it'll depend on why they're deviated from the MO in the first place, and if that gets shared.
I didn't talk to my manager today outside of a hello in passing. I will need to talk to her tomorrow, if nothing else to prioritize what I'm working on for my last 2 weeks. I am not going to tell her that she's the reason I'm leaving - I may be blunt, but I try not to be cruel.
I start at the new job 12/18. My last day at current job is 12/8. I'll be taking the week in between to decompress and probably do a bunch of painting at home. I honestly think knowing that I could quit if I needed to really helped me cope this year. Having FU money gave me the ability to change jobs when it was a good time for me, rather than having to scramble and potentially mess up everything else I've had going on this year.
Sorry for the book. This turned into therapy...