Epic FU money stories

[mm1970]

The flip-side is that if you're following your own investment strategy, you have only yourself to blame when the market, or your portfolio value "goes south".  But I can live with THAT better than the alternative.  Better the devil I know... 

Yeah, I'm super conservative financially, which would not surprise anyone who knows me.  When the market was going crazy, it would never have occurred to me to try to not pay taxes and just use "gains" to pay taxes.

Our company stock was always very volatile.  The good thing is that you could make money if patient.  We had ESPP and we had stock bonuses (small ones) and we had stock options that we got each year.  So, no, the stock options that I got at $32 were never worth anything before I quit (when it was $24), but the options I'd gotten 4 years before at $12 made me some money.

I remember that year, we had a quarterly earnings report that was misunderstood, and badly. Our stock dropped like a stone, conveniently right before we got our options. These were immediately vested.  I think I had 100 shares.  Well, once the misunderstandings were worked out, we were back up.  So my price to buy was $75, and I sold within a month at $120.  A good quick $4500.  My coworker told me I was CRAZY for selling so soon, we were headed to $130!   I said, "meh, okay".

That was November, and by January (when my original shares started vesting) were were at $35 and by Feb we were at $25.  I wasn't so dumb anymore.

[Mother Fussbudget]

Asshair#4 - My Epic FU Money story (2004)

I left SG on good terms in the fall of 2003 because SG wasn't doing much in web e-commerce.  I wanted to learn e-commerce, and web, so I left (on good terms) to join an existing travel related website company. I was hired as Test Lead for a project team to create a new website for the site's new acquisition company doing luxury travel.  Other teams did flights, rental cars, hotels, cruises, packages, etc.  The team was headed by a dynamic leader "Bob" [who later went on to run a discount hotel website, then a well known job/salary transparency comparison website] - Bob held everything together, and was a joy to work with.  Every employee was licensed as a travel agent, with the ability to get agent discounts, etc.

The team built two websites:  a travel-agent facing website, and a customer facing website presenting essentially the same data.  Every member of the team had two (2x) roles & titles - our 'real' role/title at the 'parent' company (ex:  "Test Lead") and a 'fancy' role/title at the luxury travel company (ex: "Quality Assurance Manger").

Asshair#4 was the Development Manager/'Director of Technology'.  The real job was to direct the developers who coded the website.  The 'fancy' role was just a title, but it went to the head of Asshair#4 to the point where he was not actually doing his DevMgr job while trying to appear to be the DOT in his own mind.  I reported directly to this DevMgr.  As a developer, he had the skills to get hired.  As a leader, he had practically no skills, little in the way of leadership ability.  This was a highly introspective individual who compensated for his employee's lack of psychic abilities by yelling and screaming when people didn't do things exactly as he wanted.

My test team was doing great work - we deployed the agent website, and a first round of the customer facing website.  As a reward, the entire organization was sent on a travel agent 'Familiarization' (FAM) trip.  Fly to Oahu & Maui, see the 5 star hotels we sold, tour the rooms, see the side-trips (baby turtles, adult turtles, dolphins) etc.  Sign Me Up!  But because the team was too large for a single trip, we decided to break this FAM trip into two trips - a skeleton crew would stay behind for trip #1, and travel on FAM trip #2.  With a new baby in the house, I chose to hold-down-the-fort as 'manager in the house', while the rest of the team had fun on a fully paid trip to Oahu & Maui. 

Soon after the FAM trip, Bob left to take a leadership position at a discount hotel website company in the CA bay area.  This left Asshair#4 with no boss until the company could fill the role.  In the meantime, Asshair#4 let it go to his head, and while trying to dress up his work as 'Director of Tech', and 'filling in' as Group Manager, his dev team was not getting the leadership they needed.  He happily started to scapegoat the lack of quality on the Test team (?) who were finding problems in delivered code, especially the test lead - me.  Talk of FAM trip#2 got very quiet as we were finalizing plans for our NEXT project - a rebranded luxury travel website  under an upscale name.  Total price tag for the new plan/work:  $5M. 

Asshair#4 called me into his office to confide in me that the company balked at the $5M price tag, and instead of sticking with the luxury brand, were going to shut down the larger luxury team, and offer local folks the choice of moving to CA bay area (where the acquired company was based), or transferring to other teams.   I asked if I could interview for test lead roles on other teams rather than relocate.  He agreed, so I setup interviews with other teams who were all familiar with my work quarterbacking monthly night-of-deployment sessions for the luxury team.  Two days later, after two (2x) interviews, I was offered a position on one of the more stable teams, and went back to Asshair#4 to tell him I'd been offered the position, and ask how much notice he wanted me to give to transition my responsibilities to other team members.  He hemmed, and hawed, and told me that actually I couldn't transition to the other team AT ALL  because he was going to have to put me on a Performance Improvement Plan (PIP - see the ordeal with Asshair#2). 

I shouted, "WHAT!?!?!  You approved my interviewing on other teams, and I was hired right away, how could you even be thinking about a PIP?"  Asshair#4 said in his discussions with HR in preparation for breaking the news of the down-sizing to the team, he mentioned that I would be taking a role on another team, but had asked HR about what was involved in the PIP process in relation to *me*.   It was news to me, but was clearly a way for him to deflect poor work done by his direct reports on the dev team away from himself as a poor leader.  He needed a scapegoat, and picked me.  Unfortunately, because he 'mentioned a PIP' to HR, HR would not allow me to transfer to another team until I had *completed the PIP process*.  Asshair would be unable to 'transfer his problem' to another team.  I was VERY familiar with the PIP process having been on both sides of PIP's while at SG.  He said something about preparing the paperwork, and I let him know right then and there that this idea of a PIP was completely unfair, unwarranted, and unexpected, and I would not participate in any way.  I told him that if he was serious, he could have my resignation on-the-spot.   He didn't budge, so said "I quit", and left his office.  FU money, and zero tolerance for another PIP made this the ONLY decision.

I went to my office, packed my stuff, and left the building - stopping by HR on the way out to drop off my card key.

Later that day, from home, I logged into my email account out of habit, and noticed my account had not been deleted.  The team received a team-wide email from Asshair#4 trying to explain my quick departure without giving away that the team was going to soon downsize, and leaving more questions than answers.  I *RESPONDED* to this email saying that I was simply leaving of my own free will to pursue outside interests, and part of that was FINALLY going on my own FAM trip on-my-own time.  I wished everyone the best, but in a way that indicated Asshair didn't know what the fuck he was talking about in the original message. I wished everyone the best, and shut down my PC. 

The call to the luxury travel office in CA was fun - everyone there was shocked to learn of my departure, and were happy to help set up a familiarization trip to resorts in Puerto Rico for $0 behind Asshair's back.  Team members in the local office were also shocked, and wanted to take me out to lunch, which we subsequently did that Friday afternoon.  I never let on what was about to happen to the team, and left in a very professional manner. I didn't have a gig lined up, but FU money (after firing Asshair#3) made it possible to take some time, decompress, get my resume in order, and focus on getting a new gig.  I took my time, and had a new gig within 2 months - including the week in Puerto Rico!  One of the corporate VP's later asked me to lunch to understand what had happened - I told him the team did well under Bob, but Asshair#4 was no leader, and was so busy trying to look like a 'Director of Technology', that he was neglecting his main responsibilities as Development Manager.  Basically that Bob held the group together, and it fell apart under Mousey Asshair (which was the truth).

Postscript:
Most of the team transferred to other roles on other teams.  1-2 out of 20 transferred to CA.  The rest left the company... including Asshair#4 who left to become a plain old software developer at another company.  I hope for their sake that company never put him in a leadership position again.  I still have many friends from that company, and am sure I would be welcomed back with open arms, but the Asshair soured the experience.

[TomTX]

I'm curious what percentage of your salary your severance was if you're willing to share?

Severance was your full salary at the rate of a week for each year of employment, so 7 weeks or not quite 14% of my annual salary.  The meeting with K the Queen of HR would have been a triumph if I could have pulled it off.   My idea (pre-mustachian, but kind of an entelechy of mustachery if only it had worked) was to be paid none of it and have the whole of the severance dumped to my 401(k), which would have put it WAY past the company match, and indeed, very close to the annual limit for that year, plus fully and immediately vested.  Alas - damned impertinent rogue of a logician HR Queen that she was - K pointed out that 401(K)s were for employees, and a person receiving severance by definition was no longer an employee.

You are receiving severance payment based on your work as employee. Most likely you were still an employee during the discussion.

By her logic, you shouldn't get that final paycheck either since you were no longer an employee.

[Zaga]

I'm curious what percentage of your salary your severance was if you're willing to share?

Severance was your full salary at the rate of a week for each year of employment, so 7 weeks or not quite 14% of my annual salary.  The meeting with K the Queen of HR would have been a triumph if I could have pulled it off.   My idea (pre-mustachian, but kind of an entelechy of mustachery if only it had worked) was to be paid none of it and have the whole of the severance dumped to my 401(k), which would have put it WAY past the company match, and indeed, very close to the annual limit for that year, plus fully and immediately vested.  Alas - damned impertinent rogue of a logician HR Queen that she was - K pointed out that 401(K)s were for employees, and a person receiving severance by definition was no longer an employee.

You are receiving severance payment based on your work as employee. Most likely you were still an employee during the discussion.

By her logic, you shouldn't get that final paycheck either since you were no longer an employee.

I got a severance payment once, and it was indeed completely ineligible for 401-K.  Not even the usual amount that I had withheld, and no match.  Made me sad!

[LeRainDrop]

I'm curious what percentage of your salary your severance was if you're willing to share?

Severance was your full salary at the rate of a week for each year of employment, so 7 weeks or not quite 14% of my annual salary.  The meeting with K the Queen of HR would have been a triumph if I could have pulled it off.   My idea (pre-mustachian, but kind of an entelechy of mustachery if only it had worked) was to be paid none of it and have the whole of the severance dumped to my 401(k), which would have put it WAY past the company match, and indeed, very close to the annual limit for that year, plus fully and immediately vested.  Alas - damned impertinent rogue of a logician HR Queen that she was - K pointed out that 401(K)s were for employees, and a person receiving severance by definition was no longer an employee.

You are receiving severance payment based on your work as employee. Most likely you were still an employee during the discussion.

By her logic, you shouldn't get that final paycheck either since you were no longer an employee.

I got a severance payment once, and it was indeed completely ineligible for 401-K.  Not even the usual amount that I had withheld, and no match.  Made me sad!

Severance can be structured in different ways.  Case in point, I got "severance" over a several-month period, was considered an employee during that time, employer paid my benefits as usual, and I cranked up my 401(k) contributions for those severance payments so as to max out my 401(k) account early in the year before I was no longer employed.

[Bee21]

I am famously short tempered but very resilient in hopeless job situations. Until a certain point of course. I was once overworked and underpaid for a private language school for 3 years. Treated fairly poorly and expected to be grateful because i was an immigrant and what a favour they were doing me for employing me and paying me peanuts, even though i made a lot of money for them. We were in the middle of salary negotiations (with low pay, crazy hours, unfair pay as usual) when i was told that i am expected to work an additional 100 hours that year, to be on call  work on saturdays etc. I told him i would consider his generous offer, updated my cv in the library and bought the local paper. There was an ad for a one year teaching contract and they interviewed me that afternoon, offered me the job on the spot, so by 4pm i was able to tell the boss, that i am not renewing my contract. I had about 6 months worth of e fund at that time. The best thing ever.

I had 2 other lunchtime job application situations 3 years later, in a different continent, with similar results.

Job 1- weekly contracts. We found out how many days we would be teaching every Friday. One Friday morning i got a call from a temp agency that they have a monthly contract for some office job, i said yes without even asking what it was. I had about 120 dollars at that time. Told the lady who showed up with next weeks contract that she can give those days to someone else.
 
Job 2
I ended up doing an 18 month stint in that place doing some mindnumbing paper pushing.i hated the fact that they refused to offer  me a longer contract  (was renewed monthly for 18 month) even though it was obvious that they were happy with my work and they needed me. I finally had enough, applied for the first ok looking permanent job, took the new job and simply told them at the end of the month when they wanted to renew me for an other month that i am not signing it, thanks a lot for the experience but i prefer job security.

So yeah, keeping people on short term contracts indefinitely can bite you back.

I almost slammed the door on my current employer last week. Getting really close. My husbands job is a bit rocky, and i dont want both of us to be unemployed, so i just went for a loooong walk at lunchtime instead of applying for something. Must be getting old. Though we have enough to maintain the current lifestyle for a year, or indefinitely with some drastic changes, so i am tempted.Very tempted. Mmmm. Might update my cv, just in case.....

[MostlyBearded]

Now my father is semi-retired working at an auto dealership driving cars around form point A to B because it is fun and he no longer needs to work thanks to incompetent manager and a sandwich.

Ha! Absolutely love this one :)

[jlajr]

Well done!

And great writing. Enjoyed reading that.  :)

+1

[Undecided]

Holy shit.

I don't know what I would have done in the face of that kind of loss.  Perhaps hire some out of work tattoo "artists" to emblazon "Come on -- it's Enron!" across the guy's forehead?

Easy come, easy go.

[FIREby35]

I have not read everyone's stories yet, but I do have my own epic FU money story.

I worked at a law firm with 13 attorneys, straight out of law school at 26. I had lots of options because I went to a regionally respected law school and finished near the top of my law class. I rejected many offers for salary positions and chose this firm because it allowed me to create my own practice. We split fees based on various percentages. There was no cap on my earnings.

Fast forward 3.5 years. I was 29 years old. My practice had exploded. There were basically two problems. First, by the time of the FU incident I was making more money than anyone in the firm and I was the youngest person there.  Second, the managing partner and the office administrator were incompetent, bitter and creating a toxic work environment.

A key part of the story is that 6 weeks prior to the FU incident, the managing partner used $10,000 of my money, without permission, to pay all the partners salaries because they had "cash flow issues." They money was paid back a week later. This signaled financial shenanigans on top of being totally, totally toxic.

One day, the managing partner approached me and said she wanted to renegotiate my deal AND audit every case for the appropriate percentage from the prior two years. The renegotiation was ridiculous. The audit was a major, totally unwarranted affront to my integrity - from a person who had just taken $10,000 of my money!

So, I went home with my wife - coincidentally an auditor and accountant. We performed the audit ourselves and ran all the numbers. I discovered that for the prior two years, less than 1% of my income had come from their referrals. I was a major profit center for the firm - generating over $250,000 for the firm over the prior 24 months. And, in fact, the toxic office administrator had intentionally mis-categorized my referrals thereby underpaying me.

Fortunately, I had been on the MMM train since the beginning and had an FU money war-chest of a couple hundred thousand dollars. Interestingly, the MMM choices had been the object of much curiosity since everyone knew I was making a lot but spending very little. Why are you riding your bike to work? Why did you buy such a "modest" house for your income. Why don't you get a new car? Those are actual comments.

So, the FU moment arrived when I delivered a renegotiated contract proposal to the partners. I proposed to pay them a flat monthly fee that amounted to 35% of what they were currently getting. I proposed that if they ever held any of my money without legal authority or permission they pay $1,000 per day for the privilege. Egg on the face of managing partner who had not advised anyone of the $10,000 "cash flow" issue or her proposed audit and renegotiation.

A comment this board will particularly appreciate in response, "We can't take this deal, we'd have to reduce our salaries and our budgets are set to our salaries." Facepalm.

During the wind up phase, the toxic, money stealing office administrator - who had been around long enough to have a way, way over-inflated sense of importance - spoke up during a tense conversation about splitting remaining funds. I looked at her and said, "You have no ownership in this firm, I have never been in business with you and don't want to hear anything you have to say." Hahahahaha. Her jaw dropped. Her upper lip trembled with rage. She didn't say a freaking word. It was the best moment of the entire thing, even better than the contract proposal.

Long story short, I opened my own law firm one week later. I now pay 20% less in overhead. I work dramatically reduced hours because I have actual, dedicated staff for just me - which they would never give me. Also, my gross receipts are up about 10% in the first 12 months. Life is good.

As a post script - the incompetent managing partner hired a guy to fill my office. Remember, that office was earning over $250,000 for the firm in the proceeding 24 months. The guy was paid a salary for six months - rather than have his pay tied to his productivity. Eventually it came out he was a total fraud who lied about being licensed in our state (he did have a different, faraway state). He even filed court documents without the appropriate license. He was fired immediately and the office remains vacant, producing zero profits. Schadenfreude? Yes.

Also as a disclaimer, there are many, many attorneys who are great at servicing their clients but not so good at business. In the event I needed legal help, I would immediately hire any of these attorneys - except the managing partner. They really are competent, professional people - but bad business and money managers. In the end, I maintained great relationships with everyone except the managing partner and the office administrator.

I have an update to this story. Recently, one of the partners of this law firm left and decided to open his law firm, right across the hallway from me. I got a little inside info that had remained hidden for two years.

It turns out the Managing Partner and the toxic office administrator were totally in cahoots to oust me from the firm. After I delivered my proposal, described above, there was a meeting where the partners were going to respond. Apparently, it had been the topic of conversation that it would not make sense for me to continue to pay larger and larger sums of money and they would eventually have to change my deal - which is what I was asking for.  So, my proposal was not a surprise and they were willing to work with me.

Enter the managing partner and administrator: the administrator entered the partner meeting and tendered her immediate resignation if she had to continue to work with me. She then walked out. This would have created a temporary chaos and she was the paralegal for the firms' founder who no one would override. So, they didn't make me a counter offer and instead asked, "If we don't keep him, will Administrator come back." To which managing partner replied immediately, "I'll talk to her about that." Moments later, the resignation was withdrawn and my fate was sealed. The partner who just left the firm - because the same managing partner and toxic administrator were costing him lots and lots of money and stress, said he was in shock at how the whole group had been so masterfully manipulated.

If you recall the story from above, I told her off AFTER she had done all this. It only makes it sweeter.

As they say, living well is the best revenge. I've had my own practice for two years now. I've doubled my net worth. I work 20-30 hours less per week and make more money. Life is good. They really did me a huge favor.

P.S. My leading theory on why the office administrator wanted me gone is that if I had stayed I would have been forced to address her purposely mis-coding my cases and, thereby, underpaying me. This would have been very bad for her as a major breach of trust. So, I think she knew that if I stayed her shenanigans would become a mini-office scandal and potentially she could lose her job. She went for the jugular when she had the chance. Why the Managing Partner was so upset? I think it had to do with calling her out on the $10,000 in front of everyone. But why did they turn their eyes to me prior to the $10,000 blow up and coding discovery? I'll never really know.

[arebelspy]

But why did they turn their eyes to me prior to the $10,000 blow up and coding discovery? I'll never really know.

Greed.  You were making so much, and they were going to actually have to give it to you, instead of keeping it themselves.

Thanks for the followup!

[LeRainDrop]

But why did they turn their eyes to me prior to the $10,000 blow up and coding discovery? I'll never really know.

Greed.  You were making so much, and they were going to actually have to give it to you, instead of keeping it themselves.

Thanks for the followup!

Greed AND jealousy.  Amazing story, FIREby35!

[starguru]

I have not read everyone's stories yet, but I do have my own epic FU money story.

I worked at a law firm with 13 attorneys, straight out of law school at 26. I had lots of options because I went to a regionally respected law school and finished near the top of my law class. I rejected many offers for salary positions and chose this firm because it allowed me to create my own practice. We split fees based on various percentages. There was no cap on my earnings.

Fast forward 3.5 years. I was 29 years old. My practice had exploded. There were basically two problems. First, by the time of the FU incident I was making more money than anyone in the firm and I was the youngest person there.  Second, the managing partner and the office administrator were incompetent, bitter and creating a toxic work environment.

A key part of the story is that 6 weeks prior to the FU incident, the managing partner used $10,000 of my money, without permission, to pay all the partners salaries because they had "cash flow issues." They money was paid back a week later. This signaled financial shenanigans on top of being totally, totally toxic.

One day, the managing partner approached me and said she wanted to renegotiate my deal AND audit every case for the appropriate percentage from the prior two years. The renegotiation was ridiculous. The audit was a major, totally unwarranted affront to my integrity - from a person who had just taken $10,000 of my money!

So, I went home with my wife - coincidentally an auditor and accountant. We performed the audit ourselves and ran all the numbers. I discovered that for the prior two years, less than 1% of my income had come from their referrals. I was a major profit center for the firm - generating over $250,000 for the firm over the prior 24 months. And, in fact, the toxic office administrator had intentionally mis-categorized my referrals thereby underpaying me.

Fortunately, I had been on the MMM train since the beginning and had an FU money war-chest of a couple hundred thousand dollars. Interestingly, the MMM choices had been the object of much curiosity since everyone knew I was making a lot but spending very little. Why are you riding your bike to work? Why did you buy such a "modest" house for your income. Why don't you get a new car? Those are actual comments.

So, the FU moment arrived when I delivered a renegotiated contract proposal to the partners. I proposed to pay them a flat monthly fee that amounted to 35% of what they were currently getting. I proposed that if they ever held any of my money without legal authority or permission they pay $1,000 per day for the privilege. Egg on the face of managing partner who had not advised anyone of the $10,000 "cash flow" issue or her proposed audit and renegotiation.

A comment this board will particularly appreciate in response, "We can't take this deal, we'd have to reduce our salaries and our budgets are set to our salaries." Facepalm.

During the wind up phase, the toxic, money stealing office administrator - who had been around long enough to have a way, way over-inflated sense of importance - spoke up during a tense conversation about splitting remaining funds. I looked at her and said, "You have no ownership in this firm, I have never been in business with you and don't want to hear anything you have to say." Hahahahaha. Her jaw dropped. Her upper lip trembled with rage. She didn't say a freaking word. It was the best moment of the entire thing, even better than the contract proposal.

Long story short, I opened my own law firm one week later. I now pay 20% less in overhead. I work dramatically reduced hours because I have actual, dedicated staff for just me - which they would never give me. Also, my gross receipts are up about 10% in the first 12 months. Life is good.

As a post script - the incompetent managing partner hired a guy to fill my office. Remember, that office was earning over $250,000 for the firm in the proceeding 24 months. The guy was paid a salary for six months - rather than have his pay tied to his productivity. Eventually it came out he was a total fraud who lied about being licensed in our state (he did have a different, faraway state). He even filed court documents without the appropriate license. He was fired immediately and the office remains vacant, producing zero profits. Schadenfreude? Yes.

Also as a disclaimer, there are many, many attorneys who are great at servicing their clients but not so good at business. In the event I needed legal help, I would immediately hire any of these attorneys - except the managing partner. They really are competent, professional people - but bad business and money managers. In the end, I maintained great relationships with everyone except the managing partner and the office administrator.

I have an update to this story. Recently, one of the partners of this law firm left and decided to open his law firm, right across the hallway from me. I got a little inside info that had remained hidden for two years.

It turns out the Managing Partner and the toxic office administrator were totally in cahoots to oust me from the firm. After I delivered my proposal, described above, there was a meeting where the partners were going to respond. Apparently, it had been the topic of conversation that it would not make sense for me to continue to pay larger and larger sums of money and they would eventually have to change my deal - which is what I was asking for.  So, my proposal was not a surprise and they were willing to work with me.

Enter the managing partner and administrator: the administrator entered the partner meeting and tendered her immediate resignation if she had to continue to work with me. She then walked out. This would have created a temporary chaos and she was the paralegal for the firms' founder who no one would override. So, they didn't make me a counter offer and instead asked, "If we don't keep him, will Administrator come back." To which managing partner replied immediately, "I'll talk to her about that." Moments later, the resignation was withdrawn and my fate was sealed. The partner who just left the firm - because the same managing partner and toxic administrator were costing him lots and lots of money and stress, said he was in shock at how the whole group had been so masterfully manipulated.

If you recall the story from above, I told her off AFTER she had done all this. It only makes it sweeter.

As they say, living well is the best revenge. I've had my own practice for two years now. I've doubled my net worth. I work 20-30 hours less per week and make more money. Life is good. They really did me a huge favor.

P.S. My leading theory on why the office administrator wanted me gone is that if I had stayed I would have been forced to address her purposely mis-coding my cases and, thereby, underpaying me. This would have been very bad for her as a major breach of trust. So, I think she knew that if I stayed her shenanigans would become a mini-office scandal and potentially she could lose her job. She went for the jugular when she had the chance. Why the Managing Partner was so upset? I think it had to do with calling her out on the $10,000 in front of everyone. But why did they turn their eyes to me prior to the $10,000 blow up and coding discovery? I'll never really know.

Wow.  Fucking lawyers.  No offense.

If I understand correctly, they were screwing you over by reclassifying your work so they could pay you less.  I'm surprised you let that go so easily. 

Sounds like that practice has serious ethical issues.  Have you considered reporting them to any applicable oversight?

[Exhale]

Asshair#2 is a combo-creature of someone I'll call Agnes - my group's test manager - and a {redacted} test-lead I'll call Luna.

Why is that relevant? Also, the term is "dyke" unless your talking about a geographical feature.

I saw that and thought it was some random car-speak that I didn't understand.

Apologies all around.  It bothered me more than anyone, and was poor attempt to be descriptive, and instead came off as offensive.  I've updated the OP to indicate the effect of the behavior - this Asshair's unwavering vehement and consistent prejudice against men (misandrist).  It was a large factor, but one I could not address, mention, or even acknowledge within the office political environment without giving the perception of being a white-male misogynist insensitive anti-feminist.  (Hopefully none of which could ever be used to validly describe *this* Mother Fussbudget)

I've updated original post, but it would require a MOD to edit quotes by others

Thanks for the follow-up and apology. Gold. Star.

Ditto and many thanks! Truly appreciate you doing this.

[FIREby35]

Wow.  Fucking lawyers.  No offense.

If I understand correctly, they were screwing you over by reclassifying your work so they could pay you less.  I'm surprised you let that go so easily. 

Sounds like that practice has serious ethical issues.  Have you considered reporting them to any applicable oversight?

It was actually the non-lawyer who did the miscoding :) It wasn't a lot of money, maybe a few thousand dollars out of a few hundred thousand dollars. Also, the other attorneys in the firm are influential. For example, they could sabotage a judicial application or some other appointment. Although, with FIRE as a goal you can imagine that isn't super high on my priority list. But still, it was not really in my interest to make enemies.

[FunkyStickman]

Update on my, erm, "working" situation:
They divulged info for voluntary separation packages this week.
The numbers were pretty dismal.... but it's either that, or risk getting let go and getting nothing.
We'll see what happens in the next few weeks.

Wife told me "for once, I'm totally not worried. We're prepared for this financially."
Put a huge smile on my face.

[Secretly Saving]

Wife told me "for once, I'm totally not worried. We're prepared for this financially."
Put a huge smile on my face.

That must have felt great.  You have the ability to weather a storm because of the financial plans you've made and you have a wife who feels confident despite the upcoming uncertainty! 

[Sibley]

Wife told me "for once, I'm totally not worried. We're prepared for this financially."
Put a huge smile on my face.

That must have felt great.  You have the ability to weather a storm because of the financial plans you've made and you have a wife who feels confident despite the upcoming uncertainty!

Similar stuff at my company (it's hit the news now, so I have no fears). I'm not eligible for the voluntary separation, but I did update my resume. Don't expect anything will happen until mid 2017, if not later. And considering the number of emails I get from recruiters, I have no worries about finding a new job if its necessary.

[Apples]

Wife told me "for once, I'm totally not worried. We're prepared for this financially."
Put a huge smile on my face.

That must have felt great.  You have the ability to weather a storm because of the financial plans you've made and you have a wife who feels confident despite the upcoming uncertainty!

Yes!  That's a wonderful feeling.  Well done.  My DH quit his job on the spot almost 2 years ago now, and spent 2 months going to local places sniffing out the perfect job.  We weren't worried financially in the least.  It feels so good.  Glad you guys have that.

[arebelspy]

Similar stuff at my company (it's hit the news now, so I have no fears). I'm not eligible for the voluntary separation, but I did update my resume. Don't expect anything will happen until mid 2017, if not later. And considering the number of emails I get from recruiters, I have no worries about finding a new job if its necessary.

Why not be proactive and follow up with some of the recruiters now, while you don't need to, rather than hope stuff is still available when it becomes necessary?  Often worth a switch anyways for a raise.

[Metric Mouse]

Wife told me "for once, I'm totally not worried. We're prepared for this financially."
Put a huge smile on my face.

That must have felt great.  You have the ability to weather a storm because of the financial plans you've made and you have a wife who feels confident despite the upcoming uncertainty!

Yes!  That's a wonderful feeling.  Well done.  My DH quit his job on the spot almost 2 years ago now, and spent 2 months going to local places sniffing out the perfect job.  We weren't worried financially in the least.  It feels so good.  Glad you guys have that.

One of the best feelings in the world, for sure.

[Vertical Mode]

Similar stuff at my company (it's hit the news now, so I have no fears). I'm not eligible for the voluntary separation, but I did update my resume. Don't expect anything will happen until mid 2017, if not later. And considering the number of emails I get from recruiters, I have no worries about finding a new job if its necessary.

Why not be proactive and follow up with some of the recruiters now, while you don't need to, rather than hope stuff is still available when it becomes necessary?  Often worth a switch anyways for a raise.

Also take into account that, if layoffs happen in bunches, you're going to be competing with a flood of others for the same positions. If you reposition yourself ahead of the wave, you're off-peak relative to when all of your former colleagues are looking. Who's to say that these same recruiters aren't also talking to your coworkers?

[RyanAtTanagra]

Similar stuff at my company (it's hit the news now, so I have no fears). I'm not eligible for the voluntary separation, but I did update my resume. Don't expect anything will happen until mid 2017, if not later. And considering the number of emails I get from recruiters, I have no worries about finding a new job if its necessary.

Why not be proactive and follow up with some of the recruiters now, while you don't need to, rather than hope stuff is still available when it becomes necessary?  Often worth a switch anyways for a raise.

Also take into account that, if layoffs happen in bunches, you're going to be competing with a flood of others for the same positions. If you reposition yourself ahead of the wave, you're off-peak relative to when all of your former colleagues are looking. Who's to say that these same recruiters aren't also talking to your coworkers?

I've heard more than one story here of people, amidst rumors of layoffs, were proactive and found a great new job before they happened, while everyone else stayed, clutching their job hoping to survive.  Everyone that got cut was now competing with everyone else for the few jobs out there, often taking something lower paying because it's all that was left.  If you have a year I'd start considering offers, even if you're really picky about them.

[TheBeardedIrishman]

My fu moment came in February  of this year after three years in sales making a ton of money as a young lad however I caught my higher up management taking money out of my comission and putting it into their own . . STEALING.. when I started asking questions they become very defensive. . So I quit right after making a sale. . Literally walked out and said I am going in a different direction. . Fast forward to now my wife and I own our own company buying and selling real estate and we have double our net worth within that time frame. . I often want to call and instead of saying fu  say thank you so so much for what you did. .

[Dicey]

My fu moment came in February  of this year after three years in sales making a ton of money as a young lad however I caught my higher up management taking money out of my comission and putting it into their own . . STEALING.. when I started asking questions they become very defensive. . So I quit right after making a sale. . Literally walked out and said I am going in a different direction. . Fast forward to now my wife and I own our own company buying and selling real estate and we have double our net worth within that time frame. . I often want to call and instead of saying fu  say thank you so so much for what you did. .

Loved your last sentence! Badass indeed.

[Making Cookies]

Wife told me "for once, I'm totally not worried. We're prepared for this financially."
Put a huge smile on my face.

That must have felt great.  You have the ability to weather a storm because of the financial plans you've made and you have a wife who feels confident despite the upcoming uncertainty!

Similar stuff at my company (it's hit the news now, so I have no fears). I'm not eligible for the voluntary separation, but I did update my resume. Don't expect anything will happen until mid 2017, if not later. And considering the number of emails I get from recruiters, I have no worries about finding a new job if its necessary.

How to do you initially connect with recruiters?

[Sibley]

Wife told me "for once, I'm totally not worried. We're prepared for this financially."
Put a huge smile on my face.

That must have felt great.  You have the ability to weather a storm because of the financial plans you've made and you have a wife who feels confident despite the upcoming uncertainty!

Similar stuff at my company (it's hit the news now, so I have no fears). I'm not eligible for the voluntary separation, but I did update my resume. Don't expect anything will happen until mid 2017, if not later. And considering the number of emails I get from recruiters, I have no worries about finding a new job if its necessary.

How to do you initially connect with recruiters?

In my case, they connect with me on linked in. I ignore them.

[TexasRunner]

How to do you initially connect with recruiters?

Linkedin.  Responding to online job ads (typically Indeed).  Sometimes through CL Jobs section.  Also, you can google search and call recruiters that work in your specific industry and location.

Seriously, make sure you have a LinkedIn account.  Update something and it will ping recruiters that you have an 'active' tag.

[RyanAtTanagra]

How to do you initially connect with recruiters?

Linkedin.  Responding to online job ads (typically Indeed).  Sometimes through CL Jobs section.  Also, you can google search and call recruiters that work in your specific industry and location.

Seriously, make sure you have a LinkedIn account.  Update something and it will ping recruiters that you have an 'active' tag.

You can contact the big recruiters first, and you'll forever be on their list from then on.  I'm not on LinkedIn and I get contacted constantly from recruiters in states I haven't lived in for 5 years, because I once talked to them about a job.

[FunkyStickman]

Just to give you folks an update on my situation:

I was told Wednesday that my position is being eliminated in a couple of weeks. I'm now looking for work.

They moved me from an office job to working 11-hour shifts on the factory floor assembling heavy machinery, because so many people have quit. My legs and feet are killing me- especially the hardware implanted in my left leg. Screw that, man.

Yeah.... I'm not sticking around. FU money, indeed. Got a few months income while I look for more suitable work.

[ender]

Just to give you folks an update on my situation:

I was told Wednesday that my position is being eliminated in a couple of weeks. I'm now looking for work.

They moved me from an office job to working 11-hour shifts on the factory floor assembling heavy machinery, because so many people have quit. My legs and feet are killing me- especially the hardware implanted in my left leg. Screw that, man.

Yeah.... I'm not sticking around. FU money, indeed. Got a few months income while I look for more suitable work.

Sad to hear.

Glad to hear you are going to get the last laugh ;-)

[TomTX]

Just to give you folks an update on my situation:

I was told Wednesday that my position is being eliminated in a couple of weeks. I'm now looking for work.

They moved me from an office job to working 11-hour shifts on the factory floor assembling heavy machinery, because so many people have quit. My legs and feet are killing me- especially the hardware implanted in my left leg. Screw that, man.

Yeah.... I'm not sticking around. FU money, indeed. Got a few months income while I look for more suitable work.

Unemployment filing sounds justified

[arebelspy]

Sorry to hear it.  Glad you're in a good position financially to deal with it.  I'm sure some of your coworkers are hurting.

Good luck with the job search!  Start now, while still employed.  :)

[No Name Guy]

Update on my FU story.  As a reminder, this is the person that got effed over by a bean counter for not perfectly following a ridiculously complex accounting system.

I chatted with him a bit back and he is currently enrolled in the local community college to learn a foreign language.  His plan is to slow travel this country next spring / summer.

Ahhh....having the money to tell bean counters where to shove it.

[Metric Mouse]

Ahhh....having the money to tell bean counters where to shove it.

That 'ahh' feeling, for those that haven't felt it, is the same one that working people get on the weekend when they can enjoy their morning coffee on their sunny patio with nothing else planned.  Or, at least, that's what I imagine working people feel like...

[marty998]

Update on my FU story.  As a reminder, this is the person that got effed over by a bean counter for not perfectly following a ridiculously complex accounting system.

I chatted with him a bit back and he is currently enrolled in the local community college to learn a foreign language.  His plan is to slow travel this country next spring / summer.

Ahhh....having the money to tell bean counters where to shove it.

On behalf of all Bean Counters I can tell you we have just as much trouble with complex accounting systems as the rest of you lot.

We blame the IT guys.

[zolotiyeruki]

We blame the IT guys.

Shouldn't we all be blaming the lawyers and politicians?

[TexasRunner]

We blame the IT guys.

Shouldn't we all be blaming the lawyers and politicians?

The answer to this is always yes.

[Making Cookies]

How to do you initially connect with recruiters?

Linkedin.  Responding to online job ads (typically Indeed).  Sometimes through CL Jobs section.  Also, you can google search and call recruiters that work in your specific industry and location.

Seriously, make sure you have a LinkedIn account.  Update something and it will ping recruiters that you have an 'active' tag.

You can contact the big recruiters first, and you'll forever be on their list from then on.  I'm not on LinkedIn and I get contacted constantly from recruiters in states I haven't lived in for 5 years, because I once talked to them about a job.

Thanks. I killed off my LinkedIn account a few years ago. Might rethink that now. Am happy where I am but always want to be ready to leap if something changes for the worse.

[WerKater]

Update on my FU story.  As a reminder, this is the person that got effed over by a bean counter for not perfectly following a ridiculously complex accounting system.

I chatted with him a bit back and he is currently enrolled in the local community college to learn a foreign language.  His plan is to slow travel this country next spring / summer.

Ahhh....having the money to tell bean counters where to shove it.

On behalf of all Bean Counters I can tell you we have just as much trouble with complex accounting systems as the rest of you lot.

We blame the IT guys.

And we IT guys blame managers who requested the overly complex system (or forced us to make a well-working, simple system much more complex) because they absolutely needed some useless reporting function. With colors. And interactive. And "can you put it on a website so I can check it from my phone"?

[Pooperman]

Update on my FU story.  As a reminder, this is the person that got effed over by a bean counter for not perfectly following a ridiculously complex accounting system.

I chatted with him a bit back and he is currently enrolled in the local community college to learn a foreign language.  His plan is to slow travel this country next spring / summer.

Ahhh....having the money to tell bean counters where to shove it.

On behalf of all Bean Counters I can tell you we have just as much trouble with complex accounting systems as the rest of you lot.

We blame the IT guys.

And we IT guys blame managers who requested the overly complex system (or forced us to make a well-working, simple system much more complex) because they absolutely needed some useless reporting function. With colors. And interactive. And "can you put it on a website so I can check it from my phone"?

Don't forget the sales people. They're in on it too.

[Threshkin]

[RedmondStash]

OMG. A thing of beauty.

[sw1tch]

I am about to print that and put it on my cube wall.

[JLee]

Update on my FU story.  As a reminder, this is the person that got effed over by a bean counter for not perfectly following a ridiculously complex accounting system.

I chatted with him a bit back and he is currently enrolled in the local community college to learn a foreign language.  His plan is to slow travel this country next spring / summer.

Ahhh....having the money to tell bean counters where to shove it.

On behalf of all Bean Counters I can tell you we have just as much trouble with complex accounting systems as the rest of you lot.

We blame the IT guys.

And we IT guys blame managers who requested the overly complex system (or forced us to make a well-working, simple system much more complex) because they absolutely needed some useless reporting function. With colors. And interactive. And "can you put it on a website so I can check it from my phone"?

Or they want $500k in performance, scalability, and redundancy, but only want to spend $50k to do it.

[mm1970]

Update on my FU story.  As a reminder, this is the person that got effed over by a bean counter for not perfectly following a ridiculously complex accounting system.

I chatted with him a bit back and he is currently enrolled in the local community college to learn a foreign language.  His plan is to slow travel this country next spring / summer.

Ahhh....having the money to tell bean counters where to shove it.

On behalf of all Bean Counters I can tell you we have just as much trouble with complex accounting systems as the rest of you lot.

We blame the IT guys.

And we IT guys blame managers who requested the overly complex system (or forced us to make a well-working, simple system much more complex) because they absolutely needed some useless reporting function. With colors. And interactive. And "can you put it on a website so I can check it from my phone"?

Or they want $500k in performance, scalability, and redundancy, but only want to spend $50k to do it.

No no no, what managers REALLY want is this great reporting system that links all the databases that we have.  So we can pull, analyze, and report data efficiently!

But!! What they want is to NOT spend any money on it.  No, we don't need in-house IT, nor do we need a full time DBA!  We are a start up and WE CAN DO IT, with one lady who lives in another state & works part time, one guy who works full time somewhere else and comes in for a few hours a week, one young guy who likes programming on the side and...people like me, who SUCK at programming but are DESPERATE to find ways to pull the data that doesn't involve hours of cutting and pasting, or querying 3 different databases.

/rant

[Kitsune]

Update on my FU story.  As a reminder, this is the person that got effed over by a bean counter for not perfectly following a ridiculously complex accounting system.

I chatted with him a bit back and he is currently enrolled in the local community college to learn a foreign language.  His plan is to slow travel this country next spring / summer.

Ahhh....having the money to tell bean counters where to shove it.

On behalf of all Bean Counters I can tell you we have just as much trouble with complex accounting systems as the rest of you lot.

We blame the IT guys.

And we IT guys blame managers who requested the overly complex system (or forced us to make a well-working, simple system much more complex) because they absolutely needed some useless reporting function. With colors. And interactive. And "can you put it on a website so I can check it from my phone"?

Or they want $500k in performance, scalability, and redundancy, but only want to spend $50k to do it.

No no no, what managers REALLY want is this great reporting system that links all the databases that we have.  So we can pull, analyze, and report data efficiently!

But!! What they want is to NOT spend any money on it.  No, we don't need in-house IT, nor do we need a full time DBA!  We are a start up and WE CAN DO IT, with one lady who lives in another state & works part time, one guy who works full time somewhere else and comes in for a few hours a week, one young guy who likes programming on the side and...people like me, who SUCK at programming but are DESPERATE to find ways to pull the data that doesn't involve hours of cutting and pasting, or querying 3 different databases.

/rant

Or people like me, who find ways to run Excel files built on vlookup and formulas to extract data out of the incompatible extracts of 3 different databases. And then the bosses wonder why they can't do it... 'cause you didn't spend a few days building the 'master' Excel file that bridges the gap between your stupid system, and like hell am I letting you mess with it, that's why.

*grump*

Oh, turns out getting the data we actually need out of the system? Less than 5K programming. How long has this been pending? A year. How much of my time (and salary) has been spent figuring work-arounds to the same information? Significanly more.

[No Name Guy]

Update on my FU story.  As a reminder, this is the person that got effed over by a bean counter for not perfectly following a ridiculously complex accounting system.

I chatted with him a bit back and he is currently enrolled in the local community college to learn a foreign language.  His plan is to slow travel this country next spring / summer.

Ahhh....having the money to tell bean counters where to shove it.

On behalf of all Bean Counters I can tell you we have just as much trouble with complex accounting systems as the rest of you lot.

We blame the IT guys.

And we IT guys blame managers who requested the overly complex system (or forced us to make a well-working, simple system much more complex) because they absolutely needed some useless reporting function. With colors. And interactive. And "can you put it on a website so I can check it from my phone"?

Nope...this one is straight on the bean counters. 

See, back in the day, even when I was a young pup engineer, bean counters were a sensible lot.  When there was a project, they kept the accounting codes identical throughout the length of a project.  They kept the number of codes to a reasonably small number.  Proving you were using the right codes was easy - go to your manager and get the "Big Book of Accounting Codes" which had about 1 sheet and 10-15 codes in it.  While the engineers grumbled a bit, all in all it was easy to correctly charge so rarely did an engineer get his balls busted by a bean counter for making a mistake (see the correlation - easy system, easy to get it right).  And low and behold, the bean counters could actually provide useful information on past projects.  Like, how much did we actually spend accomplishing Task X on Project Y for Customer Z, since we have Customer B asking for their version of Project Y (lets call that Project Y Alpha) and I need to put in my estimate for Task X-Alpha.\

Now, on the other hand, bean counters are useless pieces of overhead dead weight.  Accounting codes, which the bean counters control, are changed at random intervals.  They proliferate faster than rabbits, with correspondingly narrower and narrower scope per code.  We're audited by bean counters who, I suppose are competent at counting beans, but are ignorant about technical work and if what you're doing is within the described scope of the code.  Their ignorance is my problem, not the other way around - their ignorance can get me fired.   Additional variation codes are added (for example, on training, the generic training code isn't good enough any more, nope....gotta code each individual training class).  The " Big Book of Accounting Codes" no longer exists - it's now an on line resource (since with all the code changes all the time, we just HAD to have it on line instead of paper so those doing actual work could access the most up to date codes)...with an absolutely useless search function that guarantees if you don't already know the correct code, you can never, never I tell you (while twirling my Evil Mustache) find the correct code.  As a results, at times HOURS are wasted trying to find the correct accounting code.  With all the constantly changing codes, the bean counters are now absolutely unable to correlate our past project costs.  What, you want to put in a bid for Project Y Beta based on Project Y and Project Y Alpha?  Sorry, I can't correlate all the charges for Task X and Task X Alpha since we changed the accounting codes at least a half dozen times.

So, yes, in this case, it IS in fact evil bean counters.  It's not the IT system, the bean counters made the coding so effing complex, so narrow, and change it all the time so as to make it almost impossible to comply.  The bean counters own the codes.  All they have to do is stop changing them, and stop narrowing the scope of them.  Of course, the problem then is the Pointy Hair Bean Counter would have to fire 3/4 of his staff due to the reduced bean counting work load, and that would down grade him from a "big important PHB" with a corner office to a peon PHB with an inside office, seriously crimping his empire building.

And I shall have my FU money one day (which I suppose I already do, at 28-30x retirement expenses, but I want 33x as margin) and shall tell the bean counters to shove the beans up their bums, so they're in sight of their eyeballs.

[marty998]

Hmmm... No Name Guy...

Our project reporting starts off simple, then Project Managers start getting upset that we tally up ALL of their expenses, including their celebration drinks.

I've had PMs ask me "what is this?" and then express shock when I send them over the invoice they signed 3 weeks earlier.

It's starts with a single account code (IT project costs), cost centre and project identifier code.

Then they complain about not getting GST refunds, so we add a GST account code for certain expenses.

Then they complain that the contractors costs are being lumped with permanent staff, so we split the staff costs in two.

Then they complain that the IT staff costs are being captured in the staff expense line and not the IT line, so we need a manual workaround that fits with their reporting and not the overall group.

Then they complain that the costs are not being broken down by region, so we implement cost centres for each country in the world.

Then they wonder why we keep coming back to them asking to confirm the details they've written on invoices because according to their own reporting requirement they've coded it incorrectly.

I shouldn't rant however. These guys help keep me employed :)

[G-dog]

Update on my FU story.  As a reminder, this is the person that got effed over by a bean counter for not perfectly following a ridiculously complex accounting system.

I chatted with him a bit back and he is currently enrolled in the local community college to learn a foreign language.  His plan is to slow travel this country next spring / summer.

Ahhh....having the money to tell bean counters where to shove it.

On behalf of all Bean Counters I can tell you we have just as much trouble with complex accounting systems as the rest of you lot.

We blame the IT guys.

And we IT guys blame managers who requested the overly complex system (or forced us to make a well-working, simple system much more complex) because they absolutely needed some useless reporting function. With colors. And interactive. And "can you put it on a website so I can check it from my phone"?

Or they want $500k in performance, scalability, and redundancy, but only want to spend $50k to do it.

No no no, what managers REALLY want is this great reporting system that links all the databases that we have.  So we can pull, analyze, and report data efficiently!

But!! What they want is to NOT spend any money on it.  No, we don't need in-house IT, nor do we need a full time DBA!  We are a start up and WE CAN DO IT, with one lady who lives in another state & works part time, one guy who works full time somewhere else and comes in for a few hours a week, one young guy who likes programming on the side and...people like me, who SUCK at programming but are DESPERATE to find ways to pull the data that doesn't involve hours of cutting and pasting, or querying 3 different databases.

/rant

Hey, I don't remember writing this? and this isn't my username? But, this was my life!
Funny how companies want to get everything cheap, but want to charges their customers a premium...