Epic FU money stories

[Warlord1986]

When my wife was expecting our first, one of the supervisors took me aside and told me the story of how he'd given a seminar in Indiana on the day his daughter was born (this was at an academic institution).

...and hopefully finished with "and that was the worst mistake of my life". But somehow I'm assuming my hope is in vain.

(Although I first read that as India rather than Indiana, which made it sound even worse, but I guess it might as well have been India from the point of view of his wife.)

At least India would have been interesting. Imagine missing out on the birth of your child for $#@! Indiana. That's just sad.

[Sibley]

When my wife was expecting our first, one of the supervisors took me aside and told me the story of how he'd given a seminar in Indiana on the day his daughter was born (this was at an academic institution).

...and hopefully finished with "and that was the worst mistake of my life". But somehow I'm assuming my hope is in vain.

(Although I first read that as India rather than Indiana, which made it sound even worse, but I guess it might as well have been India from the point of view of his wife.)

At least India would have been interesting. Imagine missing out on the birth of your child for $#@! Indiana. That's just sad.

Hey, I live there.

But you're right. Indiana isn't very interesting. Though we do seem to be breaking records (at least in the state) for the number of people dead from Covid. But again, not very interesting.

[Gremlin]

When my wife was expecting our first, one of the supervisors took me aside and told me the story of how he'd given a seminar in Indiana on the day his daughter was born (this was at an academic institution).

“I bet there is a non-zero chance you fail a paternity test”

Comedy gold!

[Sandi_k]

When my wife was expecting our first, one of the supervisors took me aside and told me the story of how he'd given a seminar in Indiana on the day his daughter was born (this was at an academic institution).

Wow, sounds like you know my former boss.

He liked to tell this story, under the mistaken assumption that it made him look engaged and devoted to his academic endeavors. Instead, it made us all think he was a jack*ss and his wife was a saint.

[talltexan]

eight years ago, I left my academic job to work for an electric utility.

What fascinates me is that the people who work for the utility all assumed I didn't know anything about actually putting in long hours, they all assume I was working just 4 hours/week during my time in the academy. I've had perhaps 3-4 times in those eight years when I was working as hard as I was every day at the university.

[scottish]

Many academics work pretty hard.   What was your field?

[RetiredAt63]

Many academics work pretty hard.   What was your field?

When I was teaching it didn't seem to matter what our fields were.  We were all working about double what our contract hours were supposed to be.  And for yearly contracts there is no overtime.  Support staff got overtime or equivalent time off, and some were pretty vocal about their better deal.  ;-/

My DD swore she would never be a teacher.  She isn't.

[Gerard]

Support staff got overtime or equivalent time off, and some were pretty vocal about their better deal.  ;-/

I remember the day the professors in our department realized the departmental secretary had a yacht.

[frugalnacho]

Some minor back story for me:  My parents got foreclosed on 5 years ago, and I let them move into my house for far below fair market value (about $400-500 below FMV, I just asked them to reimburse me for the mortgage/taxes/insurance).  They lived there for 5 years and did not take care of the place.  I finally asked them to leave because I wanted to sell it, and they got all pissed off and it's caused a huge rift in the family.  Things are not good between me and them still. They got all huffy and moved out within a couple weeks and left the place in total disarray. I don't think they cleaned anything the whole time they were there.  So for the past month I've been cleaning it up and fixing things up (up to about $14K so far plus a couple hundred hours between me/wife/her family).    Also we are about 7 months pregnant after a long battle with infertility and going through IVF (and saving up for IVF because we ended up spending about $40k all said and done).  There have been some other major life stresses that I don't even need to go into now.  Suffice to say my life has been shitty and one big ball of stress for several months now.

So I come into work last week and SURPRISE the company you've worked at for 11 years has been sold! And those raises we promised...how about a pay cut instead?

They calculated my pay rate by excluding the bonus I get (about 15% of my total compensation) to get my "base pay", and then basically giving me that.  They also don't cover nearly as much of the insurance premiums as my previous employer.  The end result is that I previously paid about $1500/yr total for insurance for me and my wife, and now the insurance is switching over at 7 months pregnancy and the my new "family" premiums are going to be over $10k/yr.  I expected a slight jump in insurance when we added a kid, but they've totally changed the rules of the game just before the birth, without ever giving me a heads up, and it's going to affect me about $8k/yr.   

I told them the offer was bullshit and that I'm confident I can go find an engineering job paying more than that immediately.  They want me to start off at the bottom and prove myself, even though I have 11 years experience and played a large part in building the company to the level it was at.  I also have plenty of money socked away and could live for a couple years with no job if necessary.  So I told them all to stuff it and cleaned out my desk and walked out. 

Apparently that got their attention, and after a week of tense back and forth negotiation I now have a new contract.  With this new contract I get:

$13k/yr more salary
Large performance based bonus (estimated $10-15k/yr)
performance review/raise halfway between now and the next normal scheduled review
3 weeks paid paternity leave
"unlimited"* vacation
2 employees under me
I've been promised I don't have to do shitty field work anymore, and can just do office work if I want.

Everyone else in the office is stuck and had no real option but to sign their new contract so they can keep getting a paycheck.  I was the lone hold out.  The change didn't affect anyone else nearly as much as it affected me.  It pretty much worked out to equal compensation for everyone, except 2 of us senior guys, and it affected me much more harshly than the other guy.  All in all though I think it ended up working out in my favor, and should actually decrease my time to FIRE by a couple years or more.

*unlimited in the sense that it's only limited by my ability to get my job done.  Not truly unlimited, but I won't hit a point where they say "no you can't take that day off because you already took 14 days off!".  I'm skeptical how it's all going to work out.

*unlimited in the sense that it's only limited by my ability to get my job done.  Not truly unlimited, but I won't hit a point where they say "no you can't take that day off because you already took 14 days off!".  I'm skeptical how it's all going to work out.

Make sure you make a record of how many days minimum you think is fair to take and actually take them. It is so easy as a lower level manager & previous independent contributor with a performance bonus to keep on putting off using the vacation days, and you end up not taking them (and then not getting them paid back when you leave because that is part of the 'unlimited' tradeoff).

They seem pretty anal about everyone keeping track of jobs and projects and billable hours.   Part of the reason they gave me a raise and kept me is because they need me.  No one else in the organization can do exactly what I do, how I do it.  I'm critical to keeping this company running, at least in the short term.  I know I'm not truly irreplaceable, but I know they can't go hire someone and get them up to my level any time soon, and probably not for what they are paying me either, so for the next year at least they absolutely need me.  That's all great when I'm negotiating for a raise, but now a couple weeks in when I want to start using my "unlimited" vacation time...well fuck, we have a couple complicated reports that are due this week and no one else is capable of getting them done.  This is the exact reason they need me around, so it's not like I can just go on vacation for the rest of the week.

Hard to believe it's been 4.5 years since this happened.   

Well the company reneged on giving bonuses.  To everyone.  Office morale was on a steady decline the entire year I stuck around.  I stuck around for 1 year because the previous owner of the company pulled me aside, said he was sorry how everything went down and how I got thrown under the bus, he wasn't expecting that to happen to me, and I was critical to the operation of the office, and the new owners were idiots.  So he offered me a $10k bonus from him personally if I would stick around for 1 year during the transition (I think he wanted things to go as smooth as possible since he didn't get paid 100% up front).  He is a solid dude and kept his word and gave me a $10k money order 1 year later.  I did also end up getting an out of cycle raise of $6k/yr after about 6 months.  But boy did they resent having to pay me more money than they originally planned on, even though the office was insanely profitable (multiple $M/yr).  And they reneged on bonuses for everyone, and I don't think they ever reinstated them.

Even though I was now making $18k/yr more than the initial offer, I was able to promptly find a new job paying another $14k/yr more with even cheaper benefits, so I took it.  After I left, the office started to fall apart and the reporting went to shit.  The data and report quality declined just like I said it would, and they had to start outsourcing their reporting to other offices, and it was a huge clusterfuck that no one liked.  The clients didn't like it either and were getting frustrated by the new company.   People kept finding new jobs and bailing out of the company.  4 years after the sale, only 2 out of the original 13 employees remained.  And they were 2 of the worst employees, all of the quality employees that actually brought value to the company are gone.  According to one of the employees still there they haven't booked any new work in almost 6 months and are operating as a logistics hub at this point.  It's not clear to me how they are going to even keep this office running at this point.

And now I've started a new competing company with one of the other former employees.   I have 12 years experience, and he has 14.  We want to make a lot of money, but we also both have a personal goal of putting the final nail in the coffin, crushing this office, and taking all the clients.  It would be really satisfying to basically rebuild the same company with the same clients, and ultimately sell it back to the same parent company so they can come in and fuck it all up again.

[jinga nation]

It would be really satisfying to basically rebuild the same company with the same clients, and ultimately sell it back to the same parent company so they can come in and fuck it all up again.

This would be the ultimate "Fuck You" if you were able to FIRE on that sale.

[JoePublic3.14]

Support staff got overtime or equivalent time off, and some were pretty vocal about their better deal.  ;-/

I remember the day the professors in our department realized the departmental secretary had a yacht.

An FU yacht, that’s pretty cool. I wonder what it was named?

Over Time
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[Plina]

It would be really satisfying to basically rebuild the same company with the same clients, and ultimately sell it back to the same parent company so they can come in and fuck it all up again.

This would be the ultimate "Fuck You" if you were able to FIRE on that sale.

I would not want to sell my company to someone I know would fuck it up. It would also be like telling your employees fuck you to sell to someone that would make them unemployed.

[haflander]

My favorite forum thread, so I have to contribute every once in a while.

I'm pretty happy in my current job, but an old work acquaintence has been trying to pull me away to a competitor company. Very similar job, but would be 35-40% increase. Both are big companies and many individuals have worked for both. After some LinkedIn sleuthing, I was able to ask around my company (discreetly, of course) about what others' experience was like at the other company (before they joined my current company). Big majority of people said that our current place is way better for work/life, organization, caring for employees. We're talking about a big difference in pay, but at what cost? How much are my nights and weekends worth to me? Btw, I currently get paid OT after 40 hours, something that's very rare in my industry (still FT salary). And my salary is nothing to sneeze at on its own. I already have 25 days PTO, tons of benefits, week off between Xmas and New Year's.

I'm leaning strongly toward declining gracefully. It's the kind of job you'd jump for if you didn't like your current job, were laid off, whatever. But I'm really happy right now, so it's a much different situation.

That's the power of FU money and living below your means.

[frugalnacho]

It would be really satisfying to basically rebuild the same company with the same clients, and ultimately sell it back to the same parent company so they can come in and fuck it all up again.

This would be the ultimate "Fuck You" if you were able to FIRE on that sale.

I expect to reach FI before that point.  I don't think we are terribly far off right now with a NW of $900k+.   It just seems to make more sense to go into business for myself rather than trying to hunt around for another job to grind out for a few more years.  I think I'll have more freedom and be happier working for myself.  Boss can't give me shit for cutting out early on Friday, or for rolling in late occasionally, or for taking a mid day nap if that's what I feel I need.

[MissNancyPryor]

Not sure where this story fits but it just struck me so I will tell it.  It is in the category of "I am much smarter now and should not have put up with that bullshit."

In the olden days when paychecks came printed on actual paper in sealed envelopes that were handed out on Fridays, the office manager stopped by and placed mine on my desk.  I opened it.  Something was wrong, it was not close to my usual amount.  It took me several moments to realize I was handed my co-worker Ann's paycheck. 

Right at that time the office manager took another swing around and handed me mine.  She said that since I was going to the warehouse I would be dropping off Ann's to her, and she walked away quickly before I could muster the nerve to say I just opened the confidential pay statement of Ann.

After a few minutes I went to the manager's office and told her what happened and asked for a new envelope for Ann's statement so she would not feel embarrassed that someone had inadvertently opened it.  That bitch of an office manager refused (even though the envelopes were on site), and weakly grinned that I simply needed to admit to Ann what I had done when handing over the paycheck.  I ....... did.  Ann was not pleased, of course.  We were both mortified. 

It is so clear to me now.  If this had happened today I simply would have dropped Ann's opened paycheck on the office manager's desk and walked away with a curt, "Nope."

I look back and can't believe I allowed her to treat me like I had done something wrong when it was her presumption that I would be her delivery girl that started it.  Back then I didn't feel like I had the power to stand up to her but now I see it would have been the easiest thing. 

I like who I grew up to be.     

         

[draco44]

That bitch of an office manager refused (even though the envelopes were on site), and weakly grinned that I simply needed to admit to Ann what I had done when handing over the paycheck.

I'm very glad you like who you grew up to be and wouldn't tolerate being pushed around like this now.

I especially disliked from your story how it was apparently framed as a horrible thing YOU did. I mean, taking the paycheck that your manager hand-delivered to your desk and opening it under the assumption that they would have handed you the correct one? How dare you!

[Adventine]

That bitch of an office manager refused (even though the envelopes were on site), and weakly grinned that I simply needed to admit to Ann what I had done when handing over the paycheck.

I'm very glad you like who you grew up to be and wouldn't tolerate being pushed around like this now.

I especially disliked from your story how it was apparently framed as a horrible thing YOU did. I mean, taking the paycheck that your manager hand-delivered to your desk and opening it under the assumption that they would have handed you the correct one? How dare you!

"I like who I grew up to be" is one of the best measures of success I've ever seen.

[MissNancyPryor]

I was such a people pleaser.  I am glad I grew out of it. 

I can't imagine what she would have said if I did leave the open envelope with her-  "Nancy opened it!" would just breed questions about why the actual fuck it was given to Nancy in the first place.  I am sure a new envelope would have been found instantly before that manager delivered the check and she would not have complained to my boss about my refusal to deliver or my accidental opening of it because again the finger is pointed back at her.  What the hell was I thinking.  Nothing would be easier than going toe-to-toe with her and I crumbled. 

Regrets, I have few.     

[JoePublic3.14]

I was such a people pleaser.  I am glad I grew out of it. 

I can't imagine what she would have said if I did leave the open envelope with her-  "Nancy opened it!" would just breed questions about why the actual fuck it was given to Nancy in the first place.  I am sure a new envelope would have been found instantly before that manager delivered the check and she would not have complained to my boss about my refusal to deliver or my accidental opening of it because again the finger is pointed back at her.  What the hell was I thinking.  Nothing would be easier than going toe-to-toe with her and I crumbled. 

Regrets, I have few.   

Ah, it’s really damn hard to take the best action in real time. I can list quickly five of these types of things. But I like to think each one has made me better and I won’t get bullied the same way twice.

[RWTL]

That bitch of an office manager refused (even though the envelopes were on site), and weakly grinned that I simply needed to admit to Ann what I had done when handing over the paycheck.

I'm very glad you like who you grew up to be and wouldn't tolerate being pushed around like this now.

I especially disliked from your story how it was apparently framed as a horrible thing YOU did. I mean, taking the paycheck that your manager hand-delivered to your desk and opening it under the assumption that they would have handed you the correct one? How dare you!

"I like who I grew up to be" is one of the best measures of success I've ever seen.

...and one of the best mentally healthy statements.   

[Warlord1986]

That bitch of an office manager refused (even though the envelopes were on site), and weakly grinned that I simply needed to admit to Ann what I had done when handing over the paycheck.

I'm very glad you like who you grew up to be and wouldn't tolerate being pushed around like this now.

I especially disliked from your story how it was apparently framed as a horrible thing YOU did. I mean, taking the paycheck that your manager hand-delivered to your desk and opening it under the assumption that they would have handed you the correct one? How dare you!

"I like who I grew up to be" is one of the best measures of success I've ever seen.

...and one of the best mentally healthy statements.

Seconding all of this.

I have doubts that the office manager hag likes herself.

[iluvzbeach]

That bitch of an office manager refused (even though the envelopes were on site), and weakly grinned that I simply needed to admit to Ann what I had done when handing over the paycheck.

I'm very glad you like who you grew up to be and wouldn't tolerate being pushed around like this now.

I especially disliked from your story how it was apparently framed as a horrible thing YOU did. I mean, taking the paycheck that your manager hand-delivered to your desk and opening it under the assumption that they would have handed you the correct one? How dare you!

"I like who I grew up to be" is one of the best measures of success I've ever seen.

...and one of the best mentally healthy statements.

@RWTL Thank you so much for posting this response. You have no idea how it hits home. 2021 was a total shit year for me, in particular as it pertains to one of my parents (who is now deceased.) I was having a conversation with the other parent and they apologized for some of the choices they’d made in life that resulted in me having much more contact with the (now deceased) parent than I otherwise would have and my response was along the lines of “It’s actually okay because I like who I am and I don’t know that I’d be the person I am today if things had been different.” I never stopped to consider that might be a mentally healthy statement. Yes, life has had its challenge but, damn, I turned out pretty well anyway. Thank you for making my day.

[Zamboni]

That's great that y'all like how you turned out.

And kudos to the parent who reflected on some things they did and apologized to you. That's actually really nice that they did that. My parents did some really, really crappy stuff to us, and I assure you that neither will ever apologize to us. My Mom is especially unlikely to apologize as she seems to enjoy retelling stories about some of her own absolute worst behavior with the spin that she was either the victim or triumphant in some way. I'm really sick of hearing these stories of things she did that traumatized me as a child over and over and over. As a result, we just can barely stand to be around her, which is hard now that she is elderly and getting dementia and has aggressive cancer and needs help. My siblings and I very carefully limit the exposure our own children have to her, but she seems oblivious about that.

I wish that I had had FU money as a younger child. I worked hard from age 16+ and got my FU money before I graduated high school and moved out, finding a bedroom in a duplex for crazy low rent of $100 a month. So my awful mother taught me to be a really self sufficient scrapper, which I guess is worth something.

[iluvzbeach]

@Zamboni, my post was directly above yours and I believe you responded to me. I do feel fortunate to have a healthy, close relationship with my surviving parent.

Your description of your mom and your relationship with her sounds almost identical to my husband’s mom & his relationship with her, down to and including her current age & health situation. It’s just a really shitty situation to be in and I’m sorry you’ve had to deal with something similar. Some people just suck, there’s no other way to word it.

I hope you have, at least, found some other people in life who you have been able to establish healthy relationships with.

[LennStar]

Right at that time the office manager took another swing around and handed me mine.  She said that since I was going to the warehouse I would be dropping off Ann's to her, and she walked away quickly before I could muster the nerve to say I just opened the confidential pay statement of Ann.

After a few minutes I went to the manager's office and told her what happened and asked for a new envelope for Ann's statement so she would not feel embarrassed that someone had inadvertently opened it.  That bitch of an office manager refused (even though the envelopes were on site), and weakly grinned that I simply needed to admit to Ann what I had done when handing over the paycheck.  I ....... did.  Ann was not pleased, of course.  We were both mortified. 
     

The most interesting thing for me is that knowing the amount of someone else is negative. Why?

[Dave1442397]

Right at that time the office manager took another swing around and handed me mine.  She said that since I was going to the warehouse I would be dropping off Ann's to her, and she walked away quickly before I could muster the nerve to say I just opened the confidential pay statement of Ann.

After a few minutes I went to the manager's office and told her what happened and asked for a new envelope for Ann's statement so she would not feel embarrassed that someone had inadvertently opened it.  That bitch of an office manager refused (even though the envelopes were on site), and weakly grinned that I simply needed to admit to Ann what I had done when handing over the paycheck.  I ....... did.  Ann was not pleased, of course.  We were both mortified. 
     

The most interesting thing for me is that knowing the amount of someone else is negative. Why?

Because now the other person assumes that you know how much they make, and they do not know how much you make. They may assume you feel superior because you make more, or angry because you make less. Either way, it's something they would rather keep private.

I worked at a company 25 years ago that was subject to something called Schedule G by the IRS. Someone realized that said schedule meant that the salary of anyone who made > $50k/yr was considered public information. That spreadsheet flew around the office at the speed of light. I was making $11k more than my immediate supervisor...I'm sure that went down well!

[FIPurpose]

Right at that time the office manager took another swing around and handed me mine.  She said that since I was going to the warehouse I would be dropping off Ann's to her, and she walked away quickly before I could muster the nerve to say I just opened the confidential pay statement of Ann.

After a few minutes I went to the manager's office and told her what happened and asked for a new envelope for Ann's statement so she would not feel embarrassed that someone had inadvertently opened it.  That bitch of an office manager refused (even though the envelopes were on site), and weakly grinned that I simply needed to admit to Ann what I had done when handing over the paycheck.  I ....... did.  Ann was not pleased, of course.  We were both mortified. 
     

The most interesting thing for me is that knowing the amount of someone else is negative. Why?

Because now the other person assumes that you know how much they make, and they do not know how much you make. They may assume you feel superior because you make more, or angry because you make less. Either way, it's something they would rather keep private.

I worked at a company 25 years ago that was subject to something called Schedule G by the IRS. Someone realized that said schedule meant that the salary of anyone who made > $50k/yr was considered public information. That spreadsheet flew around the office at the speed of light. I was making $11k more than my immediate supervisor...I'm sure that went down well!

At least in the engineering world, engineers making more than their supervisor isn't too uncommon of an experience depending on how the job duties are set up. I remember my first boss out of college quietly telling me that I would be surprised what some of the long-time employees were making kind of hinting to me that I was probably making more than a couple of them. I don't know if he meant it this way, but it told me "the only way you're making more money here is by quitting and then coming back." And sure enough, almost every single new college hire was out of there after about 3 years of experience.

Another job I worked at was a team of engineers but the manager came from a manufacturing background so knew relatively little about the software process. I wouldn't be surprised if half of the team was paid more than he was.

[Zamboni]

The fact that it is common in technical fields for the people with technical backgrounds to make more than their managers doesn't mean it doesn't make the poor managers really, really mad. Some managers think they should always make more than everyone else in the group. My most recent FU money story involved exactly that scenario.

Basically I was splitting my time between two departments 60/40. The 60% department had hired me, was more mission critical for the organization, and was 100% reliant on my technical skillset. The 40% portion of my job was more administrative but still required my technical skillset, and that group manager didn't seem to understand that. She had no technical skills at all, and in fact was a spousal hire, and somehow she had gotten put in charge of this small group. Don't even get me started on the spousal hire thing, which can work out in some circumstances, but which has generally been a major problem various places I have worked.

So I was split between these departments and the bigger boss (boss's boss) decided I was doing such an outstanding job in the 60% mission critical role that he called me out of the blue and gave me a gigantic, out of cycle raise because he was worried that I might leave. I think it was really an equity bump to match my salary to others in that department, but it doesn't really matter why I got this huge raise unexpectedly, obviously I was happy to make more money. This was in early 2010 when companies were still recovering from the 2008 downturn, and I had been hired in 2009 at relatively lower pay because I needed to leave another position and basically was taking what I could get in order to keep working, because I like my work for the most part. When the manager of the 40% side found out, she started acting really nasty to me. After a couple of weeks she point blank told me "you shouldn't be making more than I am. Period."

My response was just to calmly tell her that my salary was still below market value for my skills, it wasn't my fault if she felt she was being underpaid, and that she should take that up with her boss rather than taking it out on me. She had also been angling for a title change the whole time I had been there, complaining that other people in her type of job had a different title. Well, other people had higher qualifications and could contribute to the higher level technical aspects of their group, but again she didn't seem to understand that. So she did go talk to him a couple of weeks later, he told her a raise and title change was a no go due to her lack of qualifications, and after that she proceeded to get even nastier to me.

Long story short, I decided that day that I wasn't working for her anymore. I went to that building twice a week as I was supposed to and went into my office and shut the door to work on whatever suited me while I worked on transitioning to the other role 100%. Any required meetings she held I basically talked as little as possible, which drove her nuts because she knew I know a lot and am comfortable generating ideas and explaining things in simple terms she could understand. It took just over a year to get transferred, but my confidence that it would happen, my lack of really needing the money, and staying friendly with the other people in both departments, whom I liked, made it bearable.

A few years later she had an all-out group mutiny and ended up fired <- not the good kind. Unfortunately before that happened she threw multiple people in her group under the bus and damaged their careers. I was lucky to get out before she was able to do something similar to me.

[mm1970]

So I was split between these departments and the bigger boss (boss's boss) decided I was doing such an outstanding job in the 60% mission critical role that he called me out of the blue and gave me a gigantic, out of cycle raise because he was worried that I might leave. I think it was really an equity bump to match my salary to others in that department, but it doesn't really matter why I got this huge raise unexpectedly, obviously I was happy to make more money. This was in early 2010 when companies were still recovering from the 2008 downturn, and I had been hired in 2009 at relatively lower pay because I needed to leave another position and basically was taking what I could get in order to keep working, because I like my work for the most part. When the manager of the 40% side found out, she started acting really nasty to me. After a couple of weeks she point blank told me "you shouldn't be making more than I am. Period."

This is unfortunate.

[Plina]

Right at that time the office manager took another swing around and handed me mine.  She said that since I was going to the warehouse I would be dropping off Ann's to her, and she walked away quickly before I could muster the nerve to say I just opened the confidential pay statement of Ann.

After a few minutes I went to the manager's office and told her what happened and asked for a new envelope for Ann's statement so she would not feel embarrassed that someone had inadvertently opened it.  That bitch of an office manager refused (even though the envelopes were on site), and weakly grinned that I simply needed to admit to Ann what I had done when handing over the paycheck.  I ....... did.  Ann was not pleased, of course.  We were both mortified. 
     

The most interesting thing for me is that knowing the amount of someone else is negative. Why?

That is an excellent way to keep wages down. I normally check the wages of my future colleagues before I am offered a job so I see this only as positive. But I had a colleague that came from academia to consulting and she accepted a salary that she was not satisfied with. Before the next salary decision I told her what I had and I found out hers and another colleague of mine. She had lower then me and I had a bit lower then him but based on his background I would have thought he had a lot more. So basically I was pretty happy with my salary after that talk and she was not. The interesting thing was that she was pretty vocal that she didn’t want to stay at the firm but she could not afford to work less (which she would have been allowed due to kids). I think she continued to sulk for a year after I left before she also left.

The manager told me that I had one of the highest salaries in the firm and showed me some graphs. I would have guessed that I was in the same ballpark as he. But he quieted down when I pointed out that those were salaries for engineers and I was a lawyer so he was comparing apples with oranges. My colleagues also had a lot lower billing tagets, which he also had convingly forgotten. He left the company about a year after I left when he came back from paternity leave. I heard that they were not that happy with his performance. I was not the only one that left. I would not be surprised if my and others exit interviews paid a role in that. I guess it also paid a role in that I didn’t later get a consulting agreement with them as my colleagues but I never got among well with the boss boss either. Frankly, my boss was a good project manager but a really lousy manager. The boss boss could never respond to anything, he always responded he would think about it and get back to you. Yeah, right! But I miss some of my colleagues.

[Zamboni]

^^The weird part about it all was that she had a super easy job. She had all very motivated professionals in the group doing above and beyond everything that needed to be done. All she had to do was smile, turn in personnel reviews once a year, and take credit for her productive team, and she could have stayed in the job forever making a LOT of money for someone with her credentials. Basically it's a necessary function that no one really cares about, and it's not a gateway to other higher management roles. So just kick back and collect your above average paycheck while your employees get it all done perfectly, and don't make waves? Instead, she whined and connived and feuded with others and ended up losing her job.

[SwordGuy]

^^The weird part about it all was that she had a super easy job. She had all very motivated professionals in the group doing above and beyond everything that needed to be done. All she had to do was smile, turn in personnel reviews once a year, and take credit for her productive team, and she could have stayed in the job forever making a LOT of money for someone with her credentials. Basically it's a necessary function that no one really cares about, and it's not a gateway to other higher management roles. So just kick back and collect your above average paycheck while your employees get it all done perfectly, and don't make waves? Instead, she whined and connived and feuded with others and ended up losing her job.

Hater's gotta hate.   Whiners gotta whine.   And backstabbing liars gotta backstab and lie.

People are who they are until they're motivated to change for the better or worse.

[Psychstache]

^^The weird part about it all was that she had a super easy job. She had all very motivated professionals in the group doing above and beyond everything that needed to be done. All she had to do was smile, turn in personnel reviews once a year, and take credit for her productive team, and she could have stayed in the job forever making a LOT of money for someone with her credentials. Basically it's a necessary function that no one really cares about, and it's not a gateway to other higher management roles. So just kick back and collect your above average paycheck while your employees get it all done perfectly, and don't make waves? Instead, she whined and connived and feuded with others and ended up losing her job.

Hater's gotta hate.   Whiners gotta whine.   And backstabbing liars gotta backstab and lie.

People are who they are until they're motivated to change for the better or worse.

something something the frog and the scorpion something something.

[SwordGuy]

something something the frog and the scorpion something something.

Very apt!

[gooki]

^^The weird part about it all was that she had a super easy job. She had all very motivated professionals in the group doing above and beyond everything that needed to be done. All she had to do was smile, turn in personnel reviews once a year, and take credit for her productive team,

It's so refreshing when you get a manager that understands this.

[Warlord1986]

^^The weird part about it all was that she had a super easy job. She had all very motivated professionals in the group doing above and beyond everything that needed to be done. All she had to do was smile, turn in personnel reviews once a year, and take credit for her productive team, and she could have stayed in the job forever making a LOT of money for someone with her credentials. Basically it's a necessary function that no one really cares about, and it's not a gateway to other higher management roles. So just kick back and collect your above average paycheck while your employees get it all done perfectly, and don't make waves? Instead, she whined and connived and feuded with others and ended up losing her job.

Bless her little heart. Some people really are dumber than a sack of hammers.

[EnjoyTheJourney]

"FU" would be stronger language than I'd use to characterize the way I left my last job. But, leaving was still satisfying.

This past fall the institution's president and provost decided to force all faculty to teach on campus this spring. It was announced very shortly before spring schedules were finalized, when the fall semester was already underway. Even the small number of us who, for personal or medical reasons, had been teaching fully online even before the pandemic were told to hurry up and submit paperwork to have leave approved either under the state or federal family leave act, as otherwise we would be teaching on campus in the spring. The timeline for that was short, by that point, and it would have been a challenge to get the appointments needed completed in time, along with the paperwork. All this took place while the delta variant was on the rise.

The dean for our school didn't push back against the rushed way this was handled or against the shift to doing the bare legal minimum vis a vis allowing faculty to teach fully online when dealing with challenging circumstances.

I warned the head of our unit that working was a voluntary act on my part and that I could leave whenever I chose (we've been financially ready for retirement for a few years now). I wrote a draft email intended for the provost and president outlining why the changes were unnecessarily rushed and in the longer run counterproductive. Then I realized that I was trying to do the dean's job for him, given that it's his job to protect the school, and not mine. I deleted the draft email and shifted to planning for retirement. My paperwork has been submitted and I will not be teaching this spring semester.

Being retired feels awesome.

[Loren Ver]

Congratulations!  Enjoy, Enjoy!

[AMandM]

I deleted the draft email and shifted to planning for retirement.

That's the real FU part.

Congrats on your retirement!

[Dicey]

"FU" would be stronger language than I'd use to characterize the way I left my last job. But, leaving was still satisfying.

This past fall the institution's president and provost decided to force all faculty to teach on campus this spring. It was announced very shortly before spring schedules were finalized, when the fall semester was already underway. Even the small number of us who, for personal or medical reasons, had been teaching fully online even before the pandemic were told to hurry up and submit paperwork to have leave approved either under the state or federal family leave act, as otherwise we would be teaching on campus in the spring. The timeline for that was short, by that point, and it would have been a challenge to get the appointments needed completed in time, along with the paperwork. All this took place while the delta variant was on the rise.

The dean for our school didn't push back against the rushed way this was handled or against the shift to doing the bare legal minimum vis a vis allowing faculty to teach fully online when dealing with challenging circumstances.

I warned the head of our unit that working was a voluntary act on my part and that I could leave whenever I chose (we've been financially ready for retirement for a few years now). I wrote a draft email intended for the provost and president outlining why the changes were unnecessarily rushed and in the longer run counterproductive. Then I realized that I was trying to do the dean's job for him, given that it's his job to protect the school, and not mine. I deleted the draft email and shifted to planning for retirement. My paperwork has been submitted and I will not be teaching this spring semester.

Being retired feels awesome.

Adding another hearty congratulations to the pile!

[Zamboni]

Well done, EnjoyTheJourney!

Deans are basically bobbleheads. It's sad.

And you made the right call! My own little college has had almost 1800 students with positive COVID results already this Spring, while state college down the road has over 3500. Teaching in person is turning out to be a pain when a half dozen students in each class are quarantined every week. All absent students now have the expectation that everything, including lecture videos and all opportunities for class participation, will also be online. So we are all teaching on demand hybrid courses. Fun times!

[DadJokes]

"FU" would be stronger language than I'd use to characterize the way I left my last job. But, leaving was still satisfying.

This past fall the institution's president and provost decided to force all faculty to teach on campus this spring. It was announced very shortly before spring schedules were finalized, when the fall semester was already underway. Even the small number of us who, for personal or medical reasons, had been teaching fully online even before the pandemic were told to hurry up and submit paperwork to have leave approved either under the state or federal family leave act, as otherwise we would be teaching on campus in the spring. The timeline for that was short, by that point, and it would have been a challenge to get the appointments needed completed in time, along with the paperwork. All this took place while the delta variant was on the rise.

The dean for our school didn't push back against the rushed way this was handled or against the shift to doing the bare legal minimum vis a vis allowing faculty to teach fully online when dealing with challenging circumstances.

I warned the head of our unit that working was a voluntary act on my part and that I could leave whenever I chose (we've been financially ready for retirement for a few years now). I wrote a draft email intended for the provost and president outlining why the changes were unnecessarily rushed and in the longer run counterproductive. Then I realized that I was trying to do the dean's job for him, given that it's his job to protect the school, and not mine. I deleted the draft email and shifted to planning for retirement. My paperwork has been submitted and I will not be teaching this spring semester.

Being retired feels awesome.

Is this you?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RrOzY86YcEM

I assume not, but I couldn't help but think of that video when I read your post. Congratulations on your retirement!

[EnjoyTheJourney]

...

Is this you?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RrOzY86YcEM

I assume not, but I couldn't help but think of that video when I read your post. Congratulations on your retirement!

No, that's not me.

That person seems to be engaging in a kind of primal scream. If that faculty member posted here, then there might be a lot more salty language than the kind in my post.

There are probably a lot of educators at all levels in the education industry weighing quitting, at this point. We've been privileged in how we can go ahead with those plans; if more were financially ready, there would undoubtedly be more educators leaving the profession. This website and a couple of others were helpful for us reaching that goal; we had no idea a pandemic was coming, and that just makes us appreciate more how much this website has helped us.

Well done, EnjoyTheJourney!

Deans are basically bobbleheads. It's sad.

And you made the right call! My own little college has had almost 1800 students with positive COVID results already this Spring, while state college down the road has over 3500. Teaching in person is turning out to be a pain when a half dozen students in each class are quarantined every week. All absent students now have the expectation that everything, including lecture videos and all opportunities for class participation, will also be online. So we are all teaching on demand hybrid courses. Fun times!

My former dean used to be a professor and he empathized relatively well with faculty. He would also push back at times to protect the school's faculty from interference from above. Unfortunately, in the last few years he seems to have pretty much turned into an administrative bobblehead.

As an example of how far he has shifted, he had OK'd purely online teaching for me and a handful of others for whom circumstances made that a reasonable choice. When he was asked why he didn't try to push back against the move to force everybody back on campus in a short time frame, regardless of how they were teaching before the pandemic, he said he didn't push back because the change would only affect a small number of people.

When I found out about that, the choice to leave became quite a bit easier to make.

[maisymouser]

"FU" would be stronger language than I'd use to characterize the way I left my last job. But, leaving was still satisfying.

This past fall the institution's president and provost decided to force all faculty to teach on campus this spring. It was announced very shortly before spring schedules were finalized, when the fall semester was already underway. Even the small number of us who, for personal or medical reasons, had been teaching fully online even before the pandemic were told to hurry up and submit paperwork to have leave approved either under the state or federal family leave act, as otherwise we would be teaching on campus in the spring. The timeline for that was short, by that point, and it would have been a challenge to get the appointments needed completed in time, along with the paperwork. All this took place while the delta variant was on the rise.

The dean for our school didn't push back against the rushed way this was handled or against the shift to doing the bare legal minimum vis a vis allowing faculty to teach fully online when dealing with challenging circumstances.

I warned the head of our unit that working was a voluntary act on my part and that I could leave whenever I chose (we've been financially ready for retirement for a few years now). I wrote a draft email intended for the provost and president outlining why the changes were unnecessarily rushed and in the longer run counterproductive. Then I realized that I was trying to do the dean's job for him, given that it's his job to protect the school, and not mine. I deleted the draft email and shifted to planning for retirement. My paperwork has been submitted and I will not be teaching this spring semester.

Being retired feels awesome.

Is this you?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RrOzY86YcEM

I assume not, but I couldn't help but think of that video when I read your post. Congratulations on your retirement!

Ah, thank you for sharing this @DadJokes. I haven't grinned this widely in a looooong time.

For some context, he has a follow-up video explaining how this is all part of his course. (not sure how that works now that he's on leave/suspended?) Anyway, I found it very refreshing and much more exciting, spurring more critical thinking than I had in my college courses back in ~2009.

[jinga nation]

I don't know if my situation is a FU money story or a MPP. (If y'all say MPP, I'll move it there.)

A couple of weeks ago, a cloud service provider (CSP) recruiter contacted me for a position. A relative works there. Had the 30 minute screening call (which was almost an hour) and it went well, which opened up a few different opportunities in different customer sectors due to my background and experience. I was to send my résumé to recruiter and they would let me know "as soon as possible". I asked them to clarify benefits, working hours, etc.

However, this was just before the holidays, so I didn't expect a reply. But it got me thinking. Do I really want this position? To have this big name company on my résumé, and for what? I've done stints are 3 other Fortune 500s where I was a just a small tooth on a cog, in an organization of hundreds of cogs. I talked to my relative, who explained the interview process, and how to prepare, etc.

The recruiter explained the benefits, said they were excellent for the industry. 10 days of time off for the first 3 years, use as you accrue, and 6 personal days, plus 7 public holidays. The base pay he mentioned was about $4k more than I get. But the real trade off is the stock (RSU). CSP is known for having a wrote in stone pay/RSU policy, there's no negotiating. They lock in your pay/RSU for 4 years.

Current small sized employer has a rule that as long as I bill customer 1800H/year, or 150H/month on average, I can take the rest of the time off. Since non-billable time is minimal, less than 8H/year, I get PTO of 5 weeks. Plus I get 10 public holidays (work in the DoD sector, so get President's Day, Veterans' Day, Columbus Day).

In essence, I'd be trading time off for stock and a few more work hours per week and increased travel (when the company lifts the work from home rule). New job would be 20-30% domestic flying around and 45H/week of billing.

I work for a good, small professional services company, we've become known for a niche specialty, our CEO and CTO are always working on new contracts/renewals and they have a technical background where the company culture is excellent. Lots of autonomy, I am a team/project lead, and help on other projects too, some proposals and proof-of-concepts.

Currently I work from home and travel to local customer site 2-3 days/week. I'm home by 4pm, drop my young kids for their sports training and go exercise. Help out kids with homework after dinner and help the wife cook/clean up the kitchen. No out of town travel away from family. Plus get to see my dad over dinner 2-3x/week when he joins us.

Wife and I have good pay, rental income from several condos, 2 homes (renovating one, then moving in, and selling the old one in this crazy  RE market), and retirement/brokerage accounts. We aren't in need of more money (and more stress) at the expense of a balanced work/life routine. My wife is looking at changing jobs to a less stressful and lesser hours gig.

We have FU money, we are technically FI, in the 2 comma club. We're already talking about me going FIRE in 12 years, when I turn 55 (because my job and industry is fun, because the people are fun). Wife probably will be retiring earlier. And we'll downsize. All this is in the IPS/long-term plan.

I don't need or want the CSP gig.

Thanks FU Money.

Update time:
The recruiter ghosted me. But I'm a stickler for professionalism, so I contacted him to see if it was still open or the slot had been filled. He replied that it was filled, without any apology or reason for lack of earlier response. Fine, it is what it is.
Last week, a hiring manager from same CSP asks me for my resume. Told him that I've been ghosted by a recruiter thus am wary of CSP's hiring process. He said he's directly responsible for filling job openings, not a recruiter, so we have back and forth messages on a professional networking website. Agree to talk on the phone, but time and date not fixed. This morning, reading my tech newsletters, came across this: https://medium.com/geekculture/my-amazon-reptilian-brain-86607f0e7193
I didn't want to get CSP's corporate mindthink process embedded in me. I didn't want my career with CSP to be determined by CSP's leadership principles. (FWIW, I subscribe to IEEE's Code of Ethics (https://www.ieee.org/about/corporate/governance/p7-8.html) since becoming a student member in 2001.)
This morning, replied to the hiring manager and said I'll pass on any opportunity.
Wasn't worth it, with their world-class "10-days of time-off" for the first 3 years. No amount of RSU/stock can substitute for the 5-6 weeks of time off I get currently for spending time with family and an aging parent.
Coincidentally, a high school friend works for the same CSP on the infrastructure side, in Europe, as a chartered civil engineer. He's been there a year, but is planning to move on in the near future. He isn't happy, and said benefits are worse compared to the traditional civil engineering companies.

[SwordGuy]

My FU story is a bit different from ones I've told in the past.

I guess I'll start with the time-honored question, "What is FU money for?"

It's the ability to have a certain amount of freedom to do what ought or needs to be done.   

For example, one might use that freedom to tell an abusive person in authority, "No.  That is unacceptable."

Or one might use it to walk away from an intolerable situation.

Those two situations probably cover 95+% of all FU stories.

In my FU story, which is currently ongoing, I'm doing both.

I'm giving a big FU to an abusive person in authority and I'm using FU money to enable walking away.

"But, SwordGuy, aren't you already retired for almost 4 years?"

Yeah, I retired from my place of employment, but I didn't retire from being a responsible citizen of the world.

I used some of my FU money to send funds to the Ukrainian Army as a FU to Putin.   I'll be sending more each month because he's a person in authority that needs to receive as many FUs as it's possible to deliver.    In case you want to hire the Ukrainian Army to deliver some FUs on your behalf, here's the link:  https://bank.gov.ua/en/news/all/natsionalniy-bank-vidkriv-spetsrahunok-dlya-zboru-koshtiv-na-potrebi-armiyi

We've opened up our home to a refugee from Ukraine.    As some of you know, I make art (such as it is) in a variety of mediums.   So rather than just put a random person (and possibly their kids) in our spare bedroom, I looked for an artist who already knew how to sell products on the internet and made things that could be made in my own workshops at home.   That way, they would have a place to live and a way to make money until they could go home or get back on their feet.   They'll arrive in a couple of weeks.    This particular artist already had a visa from an earlier exhibition of their work, so we (hopefully) dodged that bullet.

But don't worry, I have several more refugee artists that could be helped.   All that's needed is a place to live and a place nearby to make their work (and possibly some FU money used to purchase some initial supplies on their behalf).   

Right now, I'm looking for a place for a ceramic artist, a graphic artist/jr web developer, a wood/resin worker, and a pianist.   Some are alone, some have a kid or two.   I expect more will contact me.   I've been reading the US Foreign Affairs Manual to learn the rules for visas and working in country so that I can write a solid invitation letter that won't cause problems with getting a visa or at the US border.

I have to tell you, this is the best FU money I've ever used because it's literally being used for real freedom.

And when my kids and grandkids ask what I did during this extremely difficult time in our world's history, where freedom is on the line, I'll be able to tell them with pride about my efforts.   As General Patton would say, I won't have to tell them I shoveled shit in Louisiana or be limited to bragging about my high savings rate this year.

I hope I'll hear from you with explanations of how you're using some FU money in a similar way.

[eyesonthehorizon]

... We've opened up our home to a refugee from Ukraine. ...

This is the best thing I’ve heard on this forum since the legal victory to reunite a family across the border. I’m so glad you had & took the opportunity. It will be a joyful house to have so many people in it creating beautiful things in a difficult era. (My FU money went to healing Putin-inflicted injuries, but if I’m being honest I hope most sincerely that he gets a piece of your mind.)

[iluvzbeach]

Swordguy, what you’re doing is really incredible. Thank you!

[zolotiyeruki]

SwordGuy, you and I disagree on a lot of stuff, but I think what you're doing is awesome, and a great example to follow.

[AlanStache]

Swordguy - would you consider starting a new thread devoted to this (if there is not one already) so we can have one consolidated reference?