Author Topic: Epic FU money stories  (Read 2794923 times)

grantmeaname

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #3450 on: December 07, 2020, 06:44:51 AM »
You are misunderstanding the meaning of the word "average" vs the "arithmetic mean". You are discarding all the meanings of the term except for the one that let you make a snide correction of someone else, and the person you are correcting made a statement that was correct and comprehensible for any meaning of the word rather than just the one that you seem to approve of.

Dicey

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #3451 on: December 07, 2020, 07:01:16 AM »
You mean one for the Average Joe and one for the person who knows what it means.

This is a pretty snide comment, given that the distinction is both unimportant to the point and incomplete in its pedantry.
Maybe it's because I am a pedandric German, but I think:
It's only a snide comment to those who have slept during math 6th class.

If you think it's unimportant, then let me ask you this: Do you care if you earn $2000 or $3000 a month?
Because that is the unimportant, pedantric difference between average and median income.

It's like those people who think a maximum tax rate of 50% means they have to pay 50% on the first dollar.

You just can't have a successful communication if even those basics of meaning are not clear.
No, it isn't like that at all. Let's not derail the derailment even further. Cue Elsa singing "Let It Go".

simmias

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #3452 on: December 07, 2020, 07:09:12 AM »
This used to be my favorite thread.

Dicey

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #3453 on: December 07, 2020, 07:10:28 AM »
This used to be my favorite thread.
It will be again.

YYK

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #3454 on: December 07, 2020, 07:58:54 AM »
Note to self: don't use the p-word on the mustache forums

Adventine

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #3455 on: December 07, 2020, 08:08:33 AM »
I have always secretly wanted to witness an FU money story in person, but now that most people WFH, I haven't had the opportunity.

Maybe one of these days I'll receive a company-wide final rage quit email from someone... One can dream.

LennStar

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #3456 on: December 07, 2020, 10:50:45 AM »
I have always secretly wanted to witness an FU money story in person, but now that most people WFH, I haven't had the opportunity.

Maybe one of these days I'll receive a company-wide final rage quit email from someone... One can dream.
Don't wait for good things to happen. Make them happen yourself!

BicycleB

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #3457 on: December 07, 2020, 02:14:59 PM »
I have always secretly wanted to witness an FU money story in person, but now that most people WFH, I haven't had the opportunity.

Maybe one of these days I'll receive a company-wide final rage quit email from someone... One can dream.

LOL. #wfhgoals

Adventine

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #3458 on: December 07, 2020, 03:07:43 PM »
I have always secretly wanted to witness an FU money story in person, but now that most people WFH, I haven't had the opportunity.

Maybe one of these days I'll receive a company-wide final rage quit email from someone... One can dream.
Don't wait for good things to happen. Make them happen yourself!
Ha! Maybe I'll put it in my email signature as a sneaky motivational quote, effective at evading management!

Bloop Bloop Reloaded

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #3459 on: December 08, 2020, 12:55:31 AM »
I have always secretly wanted to witness an FU money story in person, but now that most people WFH, I haven't had the opportunity.

Maybe one of these days I'll receive a company-wide final rage quit email from someone... One can dream.

Even if I was super annoyed at a firm and wanted to rage quit, I'd not do it in writing or in a cheeky/histrionic way. I don't think that helps anyone. It doesn't increase your leverage, it won't make your next employer/principal pay more, and it's not going to hurt your current employer (unless you're genuinely whistleblowing or something). Heck even if I were retiring and had no further need to maintain happy relations, I'd still bow out graciously. It's your actions (in leaving/negotiating) that count not your words!

Adventine

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #3460 on: December 08, 2020, 01:21:12 AM »
I have always secretly wanted to witness an FU money story in person, but now that most people WFH, I haven't had the opportunity.

Maybe one of these days I'll receive a company-wide final rage quit email from someone... One can dream.

Even if I was super annoyed at a firm and wanted to rage quit, I'd not do it in writing or in a cheeky/histrionic way. I don't think that helps anyone. It doesn't increase your leverage, it won't make your next employer/principal pay more, and it's not going to hurt your current employer (unless you're genuinely whistleblowing or something). Heck even if I were retiring and had no further need to maintain happy relations, I'd still bow out graciously. It's your actions (in leaving/negotiating) that count not your words!

Oh yes, no arguments here. In real life, outside MMM Forumland, always better to bow out graciously and leave behind a good impression, no matter how unhappy someone has been in their job.

But in this tiny corner of the internet, it's fun to read the stories!

NorthernMonkey

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #3461 on: December 08, 2020, 04:26:29 AM »
I have always secretly wanted to witness an FU money story in person, but now that most people WFH, I haven't had the opportunity.

Maybe one of these days I'll receive a company-wide final rage quit email from someone... One can dream.

Even if I was super annoyed at a firm and wanted to rage quit, I'd not do it in writing or in a cheeky/histrionic way. I don't think that helps anyone. It doesn't increase your leverage, it won't make your next employer/principal pay more, and it's not going to hurt your current employer (unless you're genuinely whistleblowing or something). Heck even if I were retiring and had no further need to maintain happy relations, I'd still bow out graciously. It's your actions (in leaving/negotiating) that count not your words!

Oh yes, no arguments here. In real life, outside MMM Forumland, always better to bow out graciously and leave behind a good impression, no matter how unhappy someone has been in their job.

But in this tiny corner of the internet, it's fun to read the stories!

I've seen it done. It was amazing to watch. Someone I worked with quit for another job. He was set to work his notice as normal which he did for a little while, then in the last few days he made a point of finding everyone who he had a minor gripe with and telling them exactly what he thought. It lasted for a couple of days before HR got wind and he was escorted off. (mega corp so things take a while to get traction) It was a couple of days of spectacular bridge burning extravaganza.

alcon835

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #3462 on: December 08, 2020, 06:06:28 AM »
I have always secretly wanted to witness an FU money story in person, but now that most people WFH, I haven't had the opportunity.

Maybe one of these days I'll receive a company-wide final rage quit email from someone... One can dream.

Even if I was super annoyed at a firm and wanted to rage quit, I'd not do it in writing or in a cheeky/histrionic way. I don't think that helps anyone. It doesn't increase your leverage, it won't make your next employer/principal pay more, and it's not going to hurt your current employer (unless you're genuinely whistleblowing or something). Heck even if I were retiring and had no further need to maintain happy relations, I'd still bow out graciously. It's your actions (in leaving/negotiating) that count not your words!

Oh yes, no arguments here. In real life, outside MMM Forumland, always better to bow out graciously and leave behind a good impression, no matter how unhappy someone has been in their job.

But in this tiny corner of the internet, it's fun to read the stories!

I'll add, most FU stories aren't all that dramatic in real life. The recent one with the CLO leaving the company because of a dispute with the CEO felt dramatic, but from the company's point of view, it was pretty ho-hum. She went to the CEO personally, she explained her problems and where to draw the line, she used the power of her role and her contract to get her out of the situation, and she was free to do all of that (even when the CEO pressured her to stop) because of her FU money.

That's what it's all about, having the freedom to hold your ground or make a choice that works for you. Heck, that's what FIRE is ultimately about as well.

Adventine

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #3463 on: December 08, 2020, 06:28:31 AM »
There's one extremely memorable FU Money post by Dr. Doom, near the start of this thread, that illustrates the kind of "I quit" moment that I want to witness. I've never had such a horrible manager, but damn it would be entertaining to see something like that in real life.

Green_Tea

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #3464 on: December 08, 2020, 06:50:20 AM »
Maybe it's because I am a pedandric German, but I think:
It's only a snide comment to those who have slept during math 6th class.

If you think it's unimportant, then let me ask you this: Do you care if you earn $2000 or $3000 a month?
Because that is the unimportant, pedantric difference between average and median income.

Please don't advocate against German people!

I think you miss the point, that the average has 2 meanings: one in a mathematical sense in which only very few people make up the average (e.g. only very few people earn EXACTLY 2.000 Euros) and a broader meaning of "the majority in the middle" which in a normal distribution is localized around the average +/- some (as shown in "the average Joe").

You see, I like to be the clever one too, so I get where your comment comes from, but sometimes it's better to assume most other people are clever too and to interpret what they say the way they actually meant it and most people would interpret it that aren't "snobbish know-it-alls" ;)

Eh back to topic: love those FU-money-Stories ;D

Proud Foot

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #3465 on: December 08, 2020, 09:07:36 AM »
I have always secretly wanted to witness an FU money story in person, but now that most people WFH, I haven't had the opportunity.

Maybe one of these days I'll receive a company-wide final rage quit email from someone... One can dream.

Even if I was super annoyed at a firm and wanted to rage quit, I'd not do it in writing or in a cheeky/histrionic way. I don't think that helps anyone. It doesn't increase your leverage, it won't make your next employer/principal pay more, and it's not going to hurt your current employer (unless you're genuinely whistleblowing or something). Heck even if I were retiring and had no further need to maintain happy relations, I'd still bow out graciously. It's your actions (in leaving/negotiating) that count not your words!

Oh yes, no arguments here. In real life, outside MMM Forumland, always better to bow out graciously and leave behind a good impression, no matter how unhappy someone has been in their job.

But in this tiny corner of the internet, it's fun to read the stories!

I'll add, most FU stories aren't all that dramatic in real life. The recent one with the CLO leaving the company because of a dispute with the CEO felt dramatic, but from the company's point of view, it was pretty ho-hum. She went to the CEO personally, she explained her problems and where to draw the line, she used the power of her role and her contract to get her out of the situation, and she was free to do all of that (even when the CEO pressured her to stop) because of her FU money.

That's what it's all about, having the freedom to hold your ground or make a choice that works for you. Heck, that's what FIRE is ultimately about as well.

I haven't gotten the chance to read the document but my SIL was able to save it before the company wiped the email. There was a senior HR employee who sent their immediate resignation out and bcc'd the entire organization (4-5000 employees). The email just said they quit effective immediately and to read the attachment. The attachment was a 13 page document full of detailed accounts of inappropriate behavior, inconsistent application of policies, and gross misconduct within the department and organization as a whole.

By the River

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #3466 on: December 08, 2020, 10:16:51 AM »
I've seen it done. It was amazing to watch. Someone I worked with quit for another job. He was set to work his notice as normal which he did for a little while, then in the last few days he made a point of finding everyone who he had a minor gripe with and telling them exactly what he thought. It lasted for a couple of days before HR got wind and he was escorted off. (mega corp so things take a while to get traction) It was a couple of days of spectacular bridge burning extravaganza.

Maybe he was just celebrating Festivus early

markbike528CBX

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #3467 on: December 08, 2020, 10:19:21 AM »
I have always secretly wanted to witness an FU money story in person, but now that most people WFH, I haven't had the opportunity.

Maybe one of these days I'll receive a company-wide final rage quit email from someone... One can dream.

Even if I was super annoyed at a firm and wanted to rage quit, I'd not do it in writing or in a cheeky/histrionic way. I don't think that helps anyone. It doesn't increase your leverage, it won't make your next employer/principal pay more, and it's not going to hurt your current employer (unless you're genuinely whistleblowing or something). Heck even if I were retiring and had no further need to maintain happy relations, I'd still bow out graciously. It's your actions (in leaving/negotiating) that count not your words!

Oh yes, no arguments here. In real life, outside MMM Forumland, always better to bow out graciously and leave behind a good impression, no matter how unhappy someone has been in their job.

But in this tiny corner of the internet, it's fun to read the stories!

I'll add, most FU stories aren't all that dramatic in real life. The recent one with the CLO leaving the company because of a dispute with the CEO felt dramatic, but from the company's point of view, it was pretty ho-hum. She went to the CEO personally, she explained her problems and where to draw the line, she used the power of her role and her contract to get her out of the situation, and she was free to do all of that (even when the CEO pressured her to stop) because of her FU money.

That's what it's all about, having the freedom to hold your ground or make a choice that works for you. Heck, that's what FIRE is ultimately about as well.

I haven't gotten the chance to read the document but my SIL was able to save it before the company wiped the email. There was a senior HR employee who sent their immediate resignation out and bcc'd the entire organization (4-5000 employees). The email just said they quit effective immediately and to read the attachment. The attachment was a 13 page document full of detailed accounts of inappropriate behavior, inconsistent application of policies, and gross misconduct within the department and organization as a whole.

Oooh,oooh, please share it.  It sounds EPIC and might be FU money. 
Redacting names and identifying information of course, if you have the energy.  I'm back in COVID lockdown, so I'm searching for scraps of entertainment.

IsThisAGoodUsername

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #3468 on: December 08, 2020, 10:24:54 AM »
I've seen it done. It was amazing to watch. Someone I worked with quit for another job. He was set to work his notice as normal which he did for a little while, then in the last few days he made a point of finding everyone who he had a minor gripe with and telling them exactly what he thought. It lasted for a couple of days before HR got wind and he was escorted off. (mega corp so things take a while to get traction) It was a couple of days of spectacular bridge burning extravaganza.

Maybe he was just celebrating Festivus early

Ah yes, the Airing of the Grievances!

nippycrisp

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #3469 on: December 08, 2020, 11:02:48 AM »
Alright, we need a quitting story to reset things. This one's from 1998, and it's not mine, although I did witness it at close range.

My first real job was at a massive telemarketing company, trying (mostly unsuccessfully) to sell mail meters to businesses. After being trained to read the script, new telemarketers were held in a special area until we made a sale. This story is about Kwame, the sales runt of our litter.

Kwame’s Final Song

For every success in telemarketer hell there were hundreds of quiet disappointments. And with mounting failure came more unwanted attention from management. New employees that failed to convert their first score quickly began to feel the pressure to lose their sales virginity. The last holdout from our cohort was Kwame. Kwame was a nice guy, but a little too much ADD to hold down a sales job.
 
After two weeks without a single sale, Kwame was put back in training. When he came back, his calls were monitored by Marlene, the morbidly obese supervisor responsible for indoctrinating new hires. Often times, Marlene would sit next to Kwame, listening in on his calls - this is common in telemarketing, and the main reason phone salesmen don't easily quit - on a duplicate headset. As Kwame tried to work off the script, Marlene would whisper mostly-useless advice at him. Predictably, Kwame couldn’t handle juggling the script, a phone conversation and Marlene’s frantic wisdom (“Make them commit!”). As a result, his pitches grew ever more feeble and his sales remained unrealized.
 
After two more weeks of failure, it stood to reason that Kwame was not far from being put to pasture. It is surprising then, that his end came unexpectedly, and with more dignity than one might imagine.
 
For space reasons, Kwame had been released into the general population. On this particular day, he was sitting in the cubicle next to me. By now, Marlene had given up on live-coaching him, and had retreated to her office, where there was a TV that she used to watch her soaps. The theme of this day’s call list seemed to be sports-related businesses. Midway through the shift, Kwame drew a sports memorabilia shop. After making his halfhearted pitch unsuccessfully, Kwame brightened and asked if this year’s Topps Platinum Series MLB cards had arrived yet. What transpired next was a stunning example of reverse-telemarketing. Within minutes, the shop owner had apparently sweet-talked Kwame into buying something**.
 
There was one wrinkle, though: Kwame’s call was being monitored. Marlene the Manager had been listening, and she raced out from the back just as Kwame began reading off his credit card info into the phone. Marlene moved to intercept, but her pillowy body was too wide to fit down the narrow aisle of back-to-back telemarketers. You could hear the squishy collisions grow louder as she bounce-brushed hapless workers on her authority-fueled charge.
 
“Hang up the phone, Kwame!” Marlene commanded, eyes blazing as she plodded towards him. Kwame’s gaze traveled between Marlene, the credit card already in hand, and the rows of phone drones mumbling into their headsets around him. By the time he refocused on Marlene, it was clear he’d made a tactical decision to continue the transaction. Without saying a word, he ignored the supervisor’s imperative and continued feeding his credit card info into the phone.
 
Marlene verbally fired Kwame one second later. He nodded understandingly and put up a finger, asking for silence to complete his final transaction (for the record, this left his lifetime sales total with Marketing Solutions at an impressive minus one). Marlene, apparently drunk on the tiny amount of power she wielded, decided to escalate the situation, again ordering Kwame to hang up, and adding that he needed to pack up his shit immediately. Kwame took this with surprising equanimity, raising his voice only enough to be heard over the irate supervisor.
 
By this point, the altercation has attracted a crowd of interested onlookers. With Marlene so spectacularly deployed, everyone knew that the gestapo wasn't listening in. As a result, work ground to a halt as four-hundred depressed telemarketers watched the unfolding show. And what a show it was. Marlene was apoplectic, cursing out Kwame. For his part, Kwame was struggling to complete his purchase over her histrionics, and was simultaneously screaming his credit card information into the phone for all to hear.
 
In a perfect storm moment, Marlene dropped the N-word at exactly the same time Kwame’s credit card was declined. The mercurial Kwame finally exploded, splitting his fire between Marlene, the poor store owner, and Mastercard. After a furious minute of back-and-forth, Kwame rose and proceeded to leap on top of his swivel chair. “Fuck you!” he screamed into the phone. “Fuck you!” he repeated as he threw the phone's receiver at Marlene. The handset reached the end of its cord and jerked backwards with only centimeters to spare before striking Marlene between the eyes. Marlene pinwheeled backwards, jiggling mightily before dropping into what appeared to be a modified judo stance. “And fuck you!” Kwame added, jabbing a finger towards the small group of managers who’d appeared in response to the ruckus. Kwame rotated violently in my direction and leveled a finger at me. I flinched in anticipating of some overflow anger, readying myself to defend against a possible flip-kick.
 
At the last second, Mount Kwame became dormant. “You’re all cool,” he announced to the shocked crowd in a softer voice. Momentum spent, he hopped off the chair and headed for the front door, the last time any of us ever saw him. 

For those interested in life at this place during the last wave of telemarketing, this is part of a larger story I wrote here: https://www.ofmiceandmolecules.com/the-last-telemarketer.html

**These were early internet days where this sort of thing still happened.

ETA: Kwame's FU Money status was unknown, but he drove a Huffy, so his expenses were low.
« Last Edit: December 08, 2020, 11:08:17 AM by nippycrisp »

bbqbonelesswing

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #3470 on: December 08, 2020, 11:24:15 AM »
I love that. Telemarketing is such a crazy job. In college I worked a short stint on the phones and at our office, everyone was either a college kid or an alcoholic with nowhere else to work. When I decided to quit I just stopped showing up and nobody ever called or checked up on me, I just stopped getting checks. I imagine most places are a revolving door.

markbike528CBX

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #3471 on: December 08, 2020, 12:42:08 PM »
I love that. Telemarketing is such a crazy job. In college I worked a short stint on the phones and at our office, everyone was either a college kid or an alcoholic with nowhere else to work. When I decided to quit I just stopped showing up and nobody ever called or checked up on me, I just stopped getting checks. I imagine most places are a revolving door.

Aggg.  I'm not good with sales, multitasking, or pressure.  I'd like to think that I'd have similar grace to Kwame.  Based on the evidence of my career, the Magic 8 Ball says "NO F...g way dude!" .

https://www.indra.com/cgi-bin/spikes-8-ball

jinga nation

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #3472 on: December 08, 2020, 12:55:09 PM »
Kwame could have milked being called the N-word by Marlene. Under no circumstances, even reverse-telemarketing, is it okay to call anyone a racist epithet.
Marlene and the company dodged bullets.

pdxvandal

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #3473 on: December 08, 2020, 01:42:14 PM »
You're an engaging writer, Nippycrisp ... that was highly entertaining. I also got caught in the telemarketing world during a summer in Ohio, as I had an unpaid internship, but needed a part-time gig to eat. It was pretty bad, although I did get way more "sales" than Kwame. On my last day, I filled up my Chevron plastic mug with beer, and sipped on that for the first hour of my four-hour shift and flirted with some women on the other line, before I was asked to call it a day.

rpr

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #3474 on: December 08, 2020, 01:58:57 PM »
@nippycrisp -- Thanks for that story. I also enjoyed reading the linked blog.

Smokystache

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #3475 on: December 08, 2020, 02:47:29 PM »


Kwame’s Final Song

For every success in telemarketer hell ...
... Kwame's FU Money status was unknown, but he drove a Huffy, so his expenses were low.

Slow clap. Nicely written. Thanks for that!

Adventine

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #3476 on: December 08, 2020, 05:20:22 PM »
Thank you @nippycrisp !

Adventine

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #3477 on: December 08, 2020, 07:12:20 PM »
I'm finally back on my desktop so I can repost Dr. Doom's FU Money story, posted way back in 2014:



I walked out of the highest paying job of my life at the tail end of 2006, IT work for a big financial company.  (Completely transparent hint:  VWELX without the V)

I'd been there about three and a half years.  First two years were good because I had a decent manager who showed signs of being a real human being once in a while.

Third year, I get a new manager, and he's a total Fbag.  He had his last name on his license plate.  Guys on his team instantly began working 65+ hours a week instead of an already demanding 50ish.  The company paid really well so I stuck with it.  It's only work, right?

Wrong.  He started calling all of his guys on home phones, cell phones, etc. to discuss any issues he could think of at any time.  I started to think of him as a terrorist because you never knew when the next attack was coming.  He would frame the calls in the guise of "production support" because part of our role was to provide after-hours support for systems and services that needed to be available.   But many of the topics were not directly related to outages and were really just beatings.  He was a micromanager, a control-freak, and a grade-A douche who hid his insecurity behind his overbearing and driven public persona.  God help his children.

The final straw came when I got a call on Sunday Dec 23rd in 2006.  We had an outage on Saturday and I'd been involved in fixing it.  My girlfriend (now wife) was helping me decorate a small, pathetic looking christmas tree.  We were trying to put work behind us and enjoy one quiet day to ourselves, without any office nonsense, prior to the upcoming week, which was going to be full of family visits and travel.  Just one goddamn quiet day, you know? 

I pick up the phone and he starts complaining about the work I did the previous day, Saturday.  (Saturday mind, you -- work I put in on a non-standard day.  I should also add it was the 6th Saturday in a row that I'd worked.  This was fairly typical for the job.)  He says I need to remember to "fall on my sword" as soon as I get back to the office on Dec 26th -- tell everyone that the Saturday problem was my fault and I'm taking the proper long term corrective actions to resolve it.  (The problem wasn't actually my fault but he wanted me to take responsibility for it anyway.)

I remind him it's Sunday, and we're coming up on Christmas, and ask if there's any current problem that needs to be resolved.  (I'm really asking:  are any systems down?  Is there any business related reason for this call or is this just a friendly Sunday afternoon beating?)  He says yes, the problem is we have too many outages and the perception of the team is negative.   I tell him we should talk about this Thursday live instead of two days before Christmas and hang up the phone.

My SO is furious.  I'm furious.  It's no longer a nice quiet day.  I try to let it go over the holidays but the anger sits in my stomach like a fruitcake from Big Y.  I can't see how I can make it through another year at this place, despite the incredible salary and benefits.

Thursday after Christmas I get into the office and my manager immediately shows up in my office to talk about Visibility, Perception and Politics.  I cut him off and say I'm leaving.

"Leaving, what you don't feel well?"
"No, leaving the company."
He takes a step back.  I'm sitting in my cube and he's standing in front of me.  "Where are you going?"  His eyes are really wide.
"Nowhere."
"You don't have another job lined up?"
"No."
"Is it the salary?"
"No."
"It is, isn't it?  I could work with HR to see if we could work something out."
"No, it's not.  You know what it is."  I'm staring at him with my arms across my chest.  He's clearly uncomfortable, kind of wavering on his feet, but I feel terrific.  I'm thinking:  Today's the last day I'm ever going to have to look at you or hear your voice.

He finally manages to say, "You should think about this.  Someone your age shouldn't leave your job."
And I said "I know exactly what I'm doing here.  Don't worry about me.  Worry about replacing me, because you'll need to."

The conversation went a little longer than that but not much.  They ended up escorting me out, probably because my manager knew I was angry and I had tons of passwords to critical systems and hey you never know.

I got a much better job a month later.  20% overall comp. package cut but 40% reduction in work and 100% removal of my old manager.

No regrets.  I feel obligated to add that it was actually a fine place to work, lots of bright people and interesting technologies.  But even decent jobs become intolerable when you're working under a toxic egomaniac workaholic inhuman prick.

One of the things I'm now fond of saying is that people usually don't leave their jobs.  They leave their managers.

ysette9

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #3478 on: December 08, 2020, 08:49:20 PM »
Alright, we need a quitting story to reset things. This one's from 1998, and it's not mine, although I did witness it at close range.

My first real job was at a massive telemarketing company, trying (mostly unsuccessfully) to sell mail meters to businesses. After being trained to read the script, new telemarketers were held in a special area until we made a sale. This story is about Kwame, the sales runt of our litter.

Kwame’s Final Song

For every success in telemarketer hell there were hundreds of quiet disappointments. And with mounting failure came more unwanted attention from management. New employees that failed to convert their first score quickly began to feel the pressure to lose their sales virginity. The last holdout from our cohort was Kwame. Kwame was a nice guy, but a little too much ADD to hold down a sales job.
 
After two weeks without a single sale, Kwame was put back in training. When he came back, his calls were monitored by Marlene, the morbidly obese supervisor responsible for indoctrinating new hires. Often times, Marlene would sit next to Kwame, listening in on his calls - this is common in telemarketing, and the main reason phone salesmen don't easily quit - on a duplicate headset. As Kwame tried to work off the script, Marlene would whisper mostly-useless advice at him. Predictably, Kwame couldn’t handle juggling the script, a phone conversation and Marlene’s frantic wisdom (“Make them commit!”). As a result, his pitches grew ever more feeble and his sales remained unrealized.
 
After two more weeks of failure, it stood to reason that Kwame was not far from being put to pasture. It is surprising then, that his end came unexpectedly, and with more dignity than one might imagine.
 
For space reasons, Kwame had been released into the general population. On this particular day, he was sitting in the cubicle next to me. By now, Marlene had given up on live-coaching him, and had retreated to her office, where there was a TV that she used to watch her soaps. The theme of this day’s call list seemed to be sports-related businesses. Midway through the shift, Kwame drew a sports memorabilia shop. After making his halfhearted pitch unsuccessfully, Kwame brightened and asked if this year’s Topps Platinum Series MLB cards had arrived yet. What transpired next was a stunning example of reverse-telemarketing. Within minutes, the shop owner had apparently sweet-talked Kwame into buying something**.
 
There was one wrinkle, though: Kwame’s call was being monitored. Marlene the Manager had been listening, and she raced out from the back just as Kwame began reading off his credit card info into the phone. Marlene moved to intercept, but her pillowy body was too wide to fit down the narrow aisle of back-to-back telemarketers. You could hear the squishy collisions grow louder as she bounce-brushed hapless workers on her authority-fueled charge.
 
“Hang up the phone, Kwame!” Marlene commanded, eyes blazing as she plodded towards him. Kwame’s gaze traveled between Marlene, the credit card already in hand, and the rows of phone drones mumbling into their headsets around him. By the time he refocused on Marlene, it was clear he’d made a tactical decision to continue the transaction. Without saying a word, he ignored the supervisor’s imperative and continued feeding his credit card info into the phone.
 
Marlene verbally fired Kwame one second later. He nodded understandingly and put up a finger, asking for silence to complete his final transaction (for the record, this left his lifetime sales total with Marketing Solutions at an impressive minus one). Marlene, apparently drunk on the tiny amount of power she wielded, decided to escalate the situation, again ordering Kwame to hang up, and adding that he needed to pack up his shit immediately. Kwame took this with surprising equanimity, raising his voice only enough to be heard over the irate supervisor.
 
By this point, the altercation has attracted a crowd of interested onlookers. With Marlene so spectacularly deployed, everyone knew that the gestapo wasn't listening in. As a result, work ground to a halt as four-hundred depressed telemarketers watched the unfolding show. And what a show it was. Marlene was apoplectic, cursing out Kwame. For his part, Kwame was struggling to complete his purchase over her histrionics, and was simultaneously screaming his credit card information into the phone for all to hear.
 
In a perfect storm moment, Marlene dropped the N-word at exactly the same time Kwame’s credit card was declined. The mercurial Kwame finally exploded, splitting his fire between Marlene, the poor store owner, and Mastercard. After a furious minute of back-and-forth, Kwame rose and proceeded to leap on top of his swivel chair. “Fuck you!” he screamed into the phone. “Fuck you!” he repeated as he threw the phone's receiver at Marlene. The handset reached the end of its cord and jerked backwards with only centimeters to spare before striking Marlene between the eyes. Marlene pinwheeled backwards, jiggling mightily before dropping into what appeared to be a modified judo stance. “And fuck you!” Kwame added, jabbing a finger towards the small group of managers who’d appeared in response to the ruckus. Kwame rotated violently in my direction and leveled a finger at me. I flinched in anticipating of some overflow anger, readying myself to defend against a possible flip-kick.
 
At the last second, Mount Kwame became dormant. “You’re all cool,” he announced to the shocked crowd in a softer voice. Momentum spent, he hopped off the chair and headed for the front door, the last time any of us ever saw him. 

For those interested in life at this place during the last wave of telemarketing, this is part of a larger story I wrote here: https://www.ofmiceandmolecules.com/the-last-telemarketer.html

**These were early internet days where this sort of thing still happened.

ETA: Kwame's FU Money status was unknown, but he drove a Huffy, so his expenses were low.
For more of this excellent storytelling, wander over to @nippycrisp’s journal, all.

ysette9

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #3479 on: December 08, 2020, 08:52:15 PM »
I'm finally back on my desktop so I can repost Dr. Doom's FU Money story, posted way back in 2014:



I walked out of the highest paying job of my life at the tail end of 2006, IT work for a big financial company.  (Completely transparent hint:  VWELX without the V)

I'd been there about three and a half years.  First two years were good because I had a decent manager who showed signs of being a real human being once in a while.

Third year, I get a new manager, and he's a total Fbag.  He had his last name on his license plate.  Guys on his team instantly began working 65+ hours a week instead of an already demanding 50ish.  The company paid really well so I stuck with it.  It's only work, right?

Wrong.  He started calling all of his guys on home phones, cell phones, etc. to discuss any issues he could think of at any time.  I started to think of him as a terrorist because you never knew when the next attack was coming.  He would frame the calls in the guise of "production support" because part of our role was to provide after-hours support for systems and services that needed to be available.   But many of the topics were not directly related to outages and were really just beatings.  He was a micromanager, a control-freak, and a grade-A douche who hid his insecurity behind his overbearing and driven public persona.  God help his children.

The final straw came when I got a call on Sunday Dec 23rd in 2006.  We had an outage on Saturday and I'd been involved in fixing it.  My girlfriend (now wife) was helping me decorate a small, pathetic looking christmas tree.  We were trying to put work behind us and enjoy one quiet day to ourselves, without any office nonsense, prior to the upcoming week, which was going to be full of family visits and travel.  Just one goddamn quiet day, you know? 

I pick up the phone and he starts complaining about the work I did the previous day, Saturday.  (Saturday mind, you -- work I put in on a non-standard day.  I should also add it was the 6th Saturday in a row that I'd worked.  This was fairly typical for the job.)  He says I need to remember to "fall on my sword" as soon as I get back to the office on Dec 26th -- tell everyone that the Saturday problem was my fault and I'm taking the proper long term corrective actions to resolve it.  (The problem wasn't actually my fault but he wanted me to take responsibility for it anyway.)

I remind him it's Sunday, and we're coming up on Christmas, and ask if there's any current problem that needs to be resolved.  (I'm really asking:  are any systems down?  Is there any business related reason for this call or is this just a friendly Sunday afternoon beating?)  He says yes, the problem is we have too many outages and the perception of the team is negative.   I tell him we should talk about this Thursday live instead of two days before Christmas and hang up the phone.

My SO is furious.  I'm furious.  It's no longer a nice quiet day.  I try to let it go over the holidays but the anger sits in my stomach like a fruitcake from Big Y.  I can't see how I can make it through another year at this place, despite the incredible salary and benefits.

Thursday after Christmas I get into the office and my manager immediately shows up in my office to talk about Visibility, Perception and Politics.  I cut him off and say I'm leaving.

"Leaving, what you don't feel well?"
"No, leaving the company."
He takes a step back.  I'm sitting in my cube and he's standing in front of me.  "Where are you going?"  His eyes are really wide.
"Nowhere."
"You don't have another job lined up?"
"No."
"Is it the salary?"
"No."
"It is, isn't it?  I could work with HR to see if we could work something out."
"No, it's not.  You know what it is."  I'm staring at him with my arms across my chest.  He's clearly uncomfortable, kind of wavering on his feet, but I feel terrific.  I'm thinking:  Today's the last day I'm ever going to have to look at you or hear your voice.

He finally manages to say, "You should think about this.  Someone your age shouldn't leave your job."
And I said "I know exactly what I'm doing here.  Don't worry about me.  Worry about replacing me, because you'll need to."

The conversation went a little longer than that but not much.  They ended up escorting me out, probably because my manager knew I was angry and I had tons of passwords to critical systems and hey you never know.

I got a much better job a month later.  20% overall comp. package cut but 40% reduction in work and 100% removal of my old manager.

No regrets.  I feel obligated to add that it was actually a fine place to work, lots of bright people and interesting technologies.  But even decent jobs become intolerable when you're working under a toxic egomaniac workaholic inhuman prick.

One of the things I'm now fond of saying is that people usually don't leave their jobs.  They leave their managers.
Dr Doom is still my all-time favorite blog.
I spent a good amount of time reading hill while frustrated at work in the last several years of my career.

MoseyingAlong

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #3480 on: December 08, 2020, 10:09:13 PM »
I'm finally back on my desktop so I can repost Dr. Doom's FU Money story, posted way back in 2014:

.....

Dr Doom is a fantastic storyteller. I check his blog every once in a while hoping he's posted something new. I'm happy he's off doing whatever but sad that he's stopped posting.

LennStar

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #3481 on: December 09, 2020, 04:24:05 AM »
Alright, we need a quitting story to reset things. This one's from 1998, and it's not mine, although I did witness it at close range.

My first real job was at a massive telemarketing company, trying (mostly unsuccessfully) to sell mail meters to businesses. After being trained to read the script, new telemarketers were held in a special area until we made a sale. This story is about Kwame, the sales runt of our litter.

Kwame’s Final Song


Sounds like a telemerketer's equivalent to the CO half of the Navy has seen changing the course of the ship to get the sun out of his eyes :D

I have only one question:
What the hell is a mail meter?

I have something like a medieval mill in front of my eyes, but instead of water it's mail and instead of a grinding stone there is a chalk mark for every X amount of mail flowing down the wheel.

Moonwaves

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #3482 on: December 09, 2020, 04:35:10 AM »
I have only one question:
What the hell is a mail meter?

I have something like a medieval mill in front of my eyes, but instead of water it's mail and instead of a grinding stone there is a chalk mark for every X amount of mail flowing down the wheel.
LOL
I think it's a franking machine.

dcheesi

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #3483 on: December 09, 2020, 05:47:19 AM »
I have only one question:
What the hell is a mail meter?

I have something like a medieval mill in front of my eyes, but instead of water it's mail and instead of a grinding stone there is a chalk mark for every X amount of mail flowing down the wheel.
LOL
I think it's a franking machine.
No offense, but if we don't know what "mail meter" means, what are the odds that "franking[?!] machine" is going to help us much? :-)

Mr. Google says it's a "postage meter", which is to say a special printer that prints metered postage on outgoing mail:
https://faq.usps.com/s/article/What-is-a-Postage-meter#:~:text=Postage%20Meters%20are%20postage%20printing,the%20actual%20date%20of%20mailing.

Moonwaves

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #3484 on: December 09, 2020, 06:54:50 AM »
I have only one question:
What the hell is a mail meter?

I have something like a medieval mill in front of my eyes, but instead of water it's mail and instead of a grinding stone there is a chalk mark for every X amount of mail flowing down the wheel.
LOL
I think it's a franking machine.
No offense, but if we don't know what "mail meter" means, what are the odds that "franking[?!] machine" is going to help us much? :-)

Mr. Google says it's a "postage meter", which is to say a special printer that prints metered postage on outgoing mail:
https://faq.usps.com/s/article/What-is-a-Postage-meter#:~:text=Postage%20Meters%20are%20postage%20printing,the%20actual%20date%20of%20mailing.
Sorry, I figured it was just an American vs. British term, not that people wouldn't know what it is. And since I was replying to Lennstar (who is German) and the German word for that device is almost the same (Frankiermaschine), I figured he would understand.

Dicey

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #3485 on: December 09, 2020, 07:00:15 AM »
I have only one question:
What the hell is a mail meter?

I have something like a medieval mill in front of my eyes, but instead of water it's mail and instead of a grinding stone there is a chalk mark for every X amount of mail flowing down the wheel.
LOL
I think it's a franking machine.
No offense, but if we don't know what "mail meter" means, what are the odds that "franking[?!] machine" is going to help us much? :-)

Mr. Google says it's a "postage meter", which is to say a special printer that prints metered postage on outgoing mail:
https://faq.usps.com/s/article/What-is-a-Postage-meter#:~:text=Postage%20Meters%20are%20postage%20printing,the%20actual%20date%20of%20mailing.
Sorry, I figured it was just an American vs. British term, not that people wouldn't know what it is. And since I was replying to Lennstar (who is German) and the German word for that device is almost the same (Frankiermaschine), I figured he would understand.
I'm not German, and I got it, but maybe it's because I'm old. I even remember when Pitney Bowes was a common first job out of college sales job.

dcheesi

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #3486 on: December 09, 2020, 08:58:21 AM »
I have only one question:
What the hell is a mail meter?

I have something like a medieval mill in front of my eyes, but instead of water it's mail and instead of a grinding stone there is a chalk mark for every X amount of mail flowing down the wheel.
LOL
I think it's a franking machine.
No offense, but if we don't know what "mail meter" means, what are the odds that "franking[?!] machine" is going to help us much? :-)

Mr. Google says it's a "postage meter", which is to say a special printer that prints metered postage on outgoing mail:
https://faq.usps.com/s/article/What-is-a-Postage-meter#:~:text=Postage%20Meters%20are%20postage%20printing,the%20actual%20date%20of%20mailing.
Sorry, I figured it was just an American vs. British term, not that people wouldn't know what it is. And since I was replying to Lennstar (who is German) and the German word for that device is almost the same (Frankiermaschine), I figured he would understand.
Ah, no worries. I'm from the USA, and I'd never heard the term "franking" before. I'm familiar with the postage-meter concept, just not all the names for it. As @Dicey mentioned, "Pitney Bowes" used to be the household name for that sort of thing here.

tct

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #3487 on: December 09, 2020, 10:13:26 AM »

mm1970

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #3488 on: December 09, 2020, 12:47:08 PM »

AlanStache

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #3489 on: December 09, 2020, 01:52:14 PM »

Dicey

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #3490 on: December 09, 2020, 03:37:54 PM »

Dicey

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #3491 on: December 09, 2020, 03:43:07 PM »
And of course, there's this. And now I'll be singing that for the rest of the day.

Moving to save on taxes is a crapshoot. Municipalities have to find ways to pay the bills, they just use different terminology for the way they extort their citizens get the money they need.

Blackeagle

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #3492 on: December 09, 2020, 06:14:01 PM »
On the flip side, Elon is doing some pretty cool stuff in Texas.

LennStar

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #3493 on: December 10, 2020, 03:40:08 AM »
I have only one question:
What the hell is a mail meter?

I have something like a medieval mill in front of my eyes, but instead of water it's mail and instead of a grinding stone there is a chalk mark for every X amount of mail flowing down the wheel.
LOL
I think it's a franking machine.
No offense, but if we don't know what "mail meter" means, what are the odds that "franking[?!] machine" is going to help us much? :-)

Mr. Google says it's a "postage meter", which is to say a special printer that prints metered postage on outgoing mail:
https://faq.usps.com/s/article/What-is-a-Postage-meter#:~:text=Postage%20Meters%20are%20postage%20printing,the%20actual%20date%20of%20mailing.
Sorry, I figured it was just an American vs. British term, not that people wouldn't know what it is. And since I was replying to Lennstar (who is German) and the German word for that device is almost the same (Frankiermaschine), I figured he would understand.

And for the record, I have. :D

Frankiermaschinenverwirrungsauflösungsdanksagungspost. (post that said thanks for clearing up the confusion about the franking machine)

WhiteTrashCash

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #3494 on: December 10, 2020, 06:50:57 AM »
The biggest $ FU money story of all time:
https://www.foxbusiness.com/business-leaders/tesla-elon-musk-california-texas
Bye Felicia
Fellow Californian, laughing right along with you...

Yeah, I don't know why people think this is such a great thing, because now Elon Musk has to live in Texas. Ew.

Psychstache

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #3495 on: December 10, 2020, 09:13:49 AM »
The biggest $ FU money story of all time:
https://www.foxbusiness.com/business-leaders/tesla-elon-musk-california-texas
Bye Felicia
Fellow Californian, laughing right along with you...

Yeah, I don't know why people think this is such a great thing, because now Elon Musk has to live in Texas. Ew.

Can confirm. Live in Texas. The tax savings are very much a 'you get what you pay for' kind of situation.

partgypsy

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #3496 on: December 10, 2020, 09:42:48 AM »
I love that. Telemarketing is such a crazy job. In college I worked a short stint on the phones and at our office, everyone was either a college kid or an alcoholic with nowhere else to work. When I decided to quit I just stopped showing up and nobody ever called or checked up on me, I just stopped getting checks. I imagine most places are a revolving door.

I worked a telemarketing job  (customer satisfaction surveys for purchase or repair of luxury autos) between a serious job and starting grad school. when I was interviewing they asked me how long I was thinking I was going to stay at the job. I am terrible at lying so let them know I was planning to work until going to grad school in x months. The interviewer noticeiably relaxed at this news. While this was an interview to hire me they don't WANT people staying... It wasn't the worst job but it was sucky. I had to take 2 buses to get there and back, and it was one phone call after another (you were on a headset and phones were dialed and connected automatically) and sometimes after you finish a call a supervisor's voice will suddenly be on your line giving you advice.
My most exciting moment was when I was connected to speak to a John Kennedy Jr in Boston MA (this was early 90's). Alas a middle-aged sounding lady answered the phone and said he wasn't there, so I wasn't able to speak to him on the phone.

A more relevant story is that of my ex. He was working at a restaurant in the back in HS or community college age. The manager was awful and yelled all the time, also would mess with people's schedules just for fun. I don't remember the actual details but manager in the middle of a busy shift started yelling at him, even though he was doing the work of two people because they were short staffed. So he had enough took off his apron and said he quits (in the middle of the shift). And the manager says somethng inane like "you can't do that!" and he says "I just did" and leaves. He's at home when 3 more people from the kitchen show up at his doorstep saying that they quit too! And as they left the manager was in the kitchen trying to cook food even though he didn't know how to.
« Last Edit: December 10, 2020, 09:53:32 AM by partgypsy »

former player

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #3497 on: December 10, 2020, 09:45:07 AM »
The biggest $ FU money story of all time:
https://www.foxbusiness.com/business-leaders/tesla-elon-musk-california-texas
Bye Felicia
Fellow Californian, laughing right along with you...

Yeah, I don't know why people think this is such a great thing, because now Elon Musk has to live in Texas. Ew.

Can confirm. Live in Texas. The tax savings are very much a 'you get what you pay for' kind of situation.
If you are as rich as Musk you more or less have your own small country surrounding you and it will be much the same wherever you are.

Psychstache

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #3498 on: December 10, 2020, 10:20:54 AM »
The biggest $ FU money story of all time:
https://www.foxbusiness.com/business-leaders/tesla-elon-musk-california-texas
Bye Felicia
Fellow Californian, laughing right along with you...

Yeah, I don't know why people think this is such a great thing, because now Elon Musk has to live in Texas. Ew.

Can confirm. Live in Texas. The tax savings are very much a 'you get what you pay for' kind of situation.
If you are as rich as Musk you more or less have your own small country surrounding you and it will be much the same wherever you are.

Which only further begs the question that if you can live anywhere,  why would you live in a shitty climate like Texas?

Sibley

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #3499 on: December 10, 2020, 10:22:07 AM »
The biggest $ FU money story of all time:
https://www.foxbusiness.com/business-leaders/tesla-elon-musk-california-texas
Bye Felicia
Fellow Californian, laughing right along with you...

Yeah, I don't know why people think this is such a great thing, because now Elon Musk has to live in Texas. Ew.

Can confirm. Live in Texas. The tax savings are very much a 'you get what you pay for' kind of situation.
If you are as rich as Musk you more or less have your own small country surrounding you and it will be much the same wherever you are.

Which only further begs the question that if you can live anywhere,  why would you live in a shitty climate like Texas?

Because Texas is probably going to leave him alone and do whatever he wants. Regardless if it's a good idea or not.