Author Topic: Epic FU money stories  (Read 1032552 times)

Freedomin5

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #2500 on: September 20, 2018, 07:53:12 PM »
Not sure if "courage" is correct, or just astonishment that at the racism is called out.

I had a housemate who was very blond, and worked at an East Indian restaurant. I thought it was pretty cool.

I'm more concerned that the restaurant Clientele matches the restaurants ethnicity, but only in locales with enough appropriate persons of that ethnicity.  However, sometimes middle of nowhere has the most awesome ethnic food, with ALL the local ethnics working at that restaurant.

I'm confused. Why does it matter whether the clientele matches the restaurant's ethnicity? If I'm white and want to eat at an Asian restaurant, or if I'm Asian and feel like Italian food, why does it matter whether I'll "match" the restaurant's food, regardless of how many "appropriate persons of that ethnicity" reside at that particular location? I think I'm misunderstanding something here.

Carless

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #2501 on: September 20, 2018, 08:13:04 PM »
If you go  to a chinese place in chinatown and everyone there is white, you're probably in some americanized joint like the mandarin that sells chicken balls and other deep fried barely-chinese knockoffs.  If most of the customers are chinese, and the menu is mostly in chinese, and there aren't any forks on the table (only chopsticks) you've probably found a place that's authentic, and good enough that the people most experienced in the cuisine think it's good.

Of course, you might want chicken balls, so it depends what you're after.

zolotiyeruki

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #2502 on: September 20, 2018, 08:13:35 PM »
Not sure if "courage" is correct, or just astonishment that at the racism is called out.

I had a housemate who was very blond, and worked at an East Indian restaurant. I thought it was pretty cool.

I'm more concerned that the restaurant Clientele matches the restaurants ethnicity, but only in locales with enough appropriate persons of that ethnicity.  However, sometimes middle of nowhere has the most awesome ethnic food, with ALL the local ethnics working at that restaurant.

I'm confused. Why does it matter whether the clientele matches the restaurant's ethnicity? If I'm white and want to eat at an Asian restaurant, or if I'm Asian and feel like Italian food, why does it matter whether I'll "match" the restaurant's food, regardless of how many "appropriate persons of that ethnicity" reside at that particular location? I think I'm misunderstanding something here.
My guess is he means that if you see your local Chinese community frequent a particular restaurant, it means the restaurant's food is likely more authentic/yummier.

EricL

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #2503 on: September 20, 2018, 10:54:45 PM »
Not sure if "courage" is correct, or just astonishment that at the racism is called out.

I had a housemate who was very blond, and worked at an East Indian restaurant. I thought it was pretty cool.

I'm more concerned that the restaurant Clientele matches the restaurants ethnicity, but only in locales with enough appropriate persons of that ethnicity.  However, sometimes middle of nowhere has the most awesome ethnic food, with ALL the local ethnics working at that restaurant.

I'm confused. Why does it matter whether the clientele matches the restaurant's ethnicity? If I'm white and want to eat at an Asian restaurant, or if I'm Asian and feel like Italian food, why does it matter whether I'll "match" the restaurant's food, regardless of how many "appropriate persons of that ethnicity" reside at that particular location? I think I'm misunderstanding something here.
My guess is he means that if you see your local Chinese community frequent a particular restaurant, it means the restaurant's food is likely more authentic/yummier.

Where I live only the serving staff will be Chinese. Often the guys in the back will be Hispanic.  Panda Express may have every ethnicity but Chinese employed.  Not that it matters much.  American Chinese food, while tasty, is not actual Chinese food. 

magnet18

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #2504 on: September 21, 2018, 05:50:27 AM »
Probably too late...but...termination due to race?

Probably something that would be worth a quick consult.

I seriously brought it up multiple times, because I was pretty sure we could get 1 or 2 others waiters who got let go in on it, but she didn't want the hassle, they only screwed her out of a couple weeks pay

I did forget to mention, she left them hanging in the middle of lunch rush

zeli2033

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #2505 on: September 21, 2018, 08:06:47 AM »
Just had an FU-money experience this morning!

Backstory: I work at a Mega-Corp, tens of thousands of employees, facilities all over the world, etc. There's a global project to remediate a number of our products, including some at my site. I've been involved in one specific (and specialized) part of the project since January. Another part of the project requires a lead at each site, someone who will organize the activities to be done, people needed, etc. A Project Manager-type role. I am not a Project Manager.

But you know where this is going. This past spring when the division said, "Who's your site lead?" the managers got together, hemmed and hawed, and all said, "My people are Too Busy, but Maenad is already involved, have her do it." My manager agreed and gave the assignment to me.

Over the past 6 months or so it's become brutally clear that I do not have the skills needed for this role. At all. Hell, I don't even know what I don't know. It's to the point that if I continue, I could actually damage my professional reputation by taking on something I'm unprepared for.

So this morning I went to my boss and told him I'm refusing this role and why. And that I understand that this can have negative ramifications on my job, but the impact to my career otherwise would be worse. I really, really didn't want to have that conversation, but the managers of the areas that should be doing this are thinking that if they just say No long enough, I'll cave, and I needed to make it clear to my boss that that isn't an option.

It was a really uncomfortable conversation, but it felt so good to know that I didn't have to hurt my career* just to save my job. And as it turns out, my boss didn't see this as refusing a direct order at all, so he's OK with me saying no.

*Currently projected to last only another 1.5 years, but still.

Iím a little late to celebrating this, but well done standing up for yourself and communicating what you needed in this instance!  Perfect use of having some FU money :)

I have noticed something similar in my own life - having a stronger handle on my finances (not necessarily FU money yet but I can see that on the horizon). Anyway, just having that confidence makes it much easier to be direct and upfront at work when something isnít working for me or could be better.

Nice job!

markbike528CBX

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #2506 on: September 21, 2018, 09:11:25 AM »
Not sure if "courage" is correct, or just astonishment that at the racism is called out.

I had a housemate who was very blond, and worked at an East Indian restaurant. I thought it was pretty cool.

I'm more concerned that the restaurant Clientele matches the restaurants ethnicity, but only in locales with enough appropriate persons of that ethnicity.  However, sometimes middle of nowhere has the most awesome ethnic food, with ALL the local ethnics working at that restaurant.

I'm confused. Why does it matter whether the clientele matches the restaurant's ethnicity? If I'm white and want to eat at an Asian restaurant, or if I'm Asian and feel like Italian food, why does it matter whether I'll "match" the restaurant's food, regardless of how many "appropriate persons of that ethnicity" reside at that particular location? I think I'm misunderstanding something here.
My guess is he means that if you see your local Chinese community frequent a particular restaurant, it means the restaurant's food is likely more authentic/yummier.
Yep, what zolotiyeruki said.   Applies to other ethnicies too, not just Chinese.  Of course, more authentic might not be to your taste ie, YMMV.

Also applies to "American" resturants overseas.  "more authentic" is never spot on, but sometimes surprisingly close.

okcisok

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #2507 on: September 21, 2018, 11:29:59 AM »

[/quote]
I have noticed something similar in my own life - having a stronger handle on my finances (not necessarily FU money yet but I can see that on the horizon). Anyway, just having that confidence makes it much easier to be direct and upfront at work when something isnít working for me or could be better.

Nice job!
[/quote]

Exactly this! I've binge-read this thread over the last few days, and it's given me a whole new mindset. I'm not anywhere near FIRE, but I'm working on it. I've been cutting expenses for 18 months & socking more into savings. Knowing that I have a little FU money (maybe 'Thanks, But No Thanks money), plus easily translatable job skills, helps me be more relaxed at my job. It also gives me this same kind of confidence. What are they going to do, fire me? Great, I'll collect unemployment and work some side gigs until I find another job at my level.

Thanks so much to everyone who's posted here!

(Foam: y'all can be singular, like when you don't want to call out an individual or cause offense (as in the car-backing out story another poster told) or like my grandma used it. "Y'all want somethin' ta eat?"; not implying that my mother hadn't offered me food or that I wasn't capable of preparing it myself, but that she would gladly prepare me something to eat. :)
Also, it works beautifully as a gender-neutral second person pronoun, and I use it regularly in the hospitality industry. Don't know the preferred pronoun? 'Y'all' to the rescue! This is from Oklahoma, with family by way of Virginia and Appalachia:)

Threshkin

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #2508 on: September 25, 2018, 05:03:26 PM »
This discussion on restaurants and race reminded me of the cultural appropriation uproar in Portlandia last year.  How could a Mexican or an Indian restaurant even consider hiring a white person?

https://www.tastingtable.com/dine/national/portland-kooks-burritos-cultural-appropriation-restaurant-list

/sarc off

UK Dancer

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #2509 on: October 04, 2018, 08:30:24 AM »
Just wanting to bump this awesome thread that I've bingeread this week!

Not my FU story, but my mum:
She worked for one of the Big Four and when she was 52 she turned around to her bosses and said she wanted to retire, assuming they'd negotiate a steadily decreasing part-time arrangement over the next year to hand over her projects etc (in the same way two of her peers were in the process of doing). The partner who supervised her PANICKED, blurting out that they couldn't afford that, no-one had any of her knowledge, there was no-one to take over and he had no plan for replacing her as her skillset was probably unique in the world, let alone the UK.

She came out of that meeting with three weeks of extra PTO and an agreement to let her have a 3 month half-pay sabbatical the following year (the reason she wanted to retire early was to travel and enjoy some new cultures). Stupidly, they didn't set a time limit in the agreement for how long she had to stay so after she'd come back from the sabbatical and been back working for about 6 months, back she comes into his office. "I want to retire." This time, she walks out with another two weeks of PTO and a £15k pay increase.
Another year passes, another "retirement", out she walks with yet another two weeks of PTO and another big pay increase.

Eventually, she retires aged 63, with a whopping 22 weeks of PTO per year, having had three sabbaticals, paid £112k more per year than she was when she first tried to retire and, as a result, with a defined benefit pension plan that had been boosted massively. Even now (5 years later) she's going back to consult 2 or 3 days a month for 160% of her retiring salary...

fuzzy math

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #2510 on: October 04, 2018, 08:38:56 AM »
This discussion on restaurants and race reminded me of the cultural appropriation uproar in Portlandia last year.  How could a Mexican or an Indian restaurant even consider hiring a white person?

https://www.tastingtable.com/dine/national/portland-kooks-burritos-cultural-appropriation-restaurant-list

/sarc off

Portland when you start messing with Por Que No? You've gone too far...

Livingthedream55

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #2511 on: October 04, 2018, 08:42:23 AM »
Just wanting to bump this awesome thread that I've bingeread this week!

Not my FU story, but my mum:
She worked for one of the Big Four and when she was 52 she turned around to her bosses and said she wanted to retire, assuming they'd negotiate a steadily decreasing part-time arrangement over the next year to hand over her projects etc (in the same way two of her peers were in the process of doing). The partner who supervised her PANICKED, blurting out that they couldn't afford that, no-one had any of her knowledge, there was no-one to take over and he had no plan for replacing her as her skillset was probably unique in the world, let alone the UK.

She came out of that meeting with three weeks of extra PTO and an agreement to let her have a 3 month half-pay sabbatical the following year (the reason she wanted to retire early was to travel and enjoy some new cultures). Stupidly, they didn't set a time limit in the agreement for how long she had to stay so after she'd come back from the sabbatical and been back working for about 6 months, back she comes into his office. "I want to retire." This time, she walks out with another two weeks of PTO and a £15k pay increase.
Another year passes, another "retirement", out she walks with yet another two weeks of PTO and another big pay increase.

Eventually, she retires aged 63, with a whopping 22 weeks of PTO per year, having had three sabbaticals, paid £112k more per year than she was when she first tried to retire and, as a result, with a defined benefit pension plan that had been boosted massively. Even now (5 years later) she's going back to consult 2 or 3 days a month for 160% of her retiring salary...

LOVE THIS!!!

okits

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #2512 on: October 04, 2018, 11:23:06 AM »
Just wanting to bump this awesome thread that I've bingeread this week!

Not my FU story, but my mum:
She worked for one of the Big Four and when she was 52 she turned around to her bosses and said she wanted to retire, assuming they'd negotiate a steadily decreasing part-time arrangement over the next year to hand over her projects etc (in the same way two of her peers were in the process of doing). The partner who supervised her PANICKED, blurting out that they couldn't afford that, no-one had any of her knowledge, there was no-one to take over and he had no plan for replacing her as her skillset was probably unique in the world, let alone the UK.

She came out of that meeting with three weeks of extra PTO and an agreement to let her have a 3 month half-pay sabbatical the following year (the reason she wanted to retire early was to travel and enjoy some new cultures). Stupidly, they didn't set a time limit in the agreement for how long she had to stay so after she'd come back from the sabbatical and been back working for about 6 months, back she comes into his office. "I want to retire." This time, she walks out with another two weeks of PTO and a £15k pay increase.
Another year passes, another "retirement", out she walks with yet another two weeks of PTO and another big pay increase.

Eventually, she retires aged 63, with a whopping 22 weeks of PTO per year, having had three sabbaticals, paid £112k more per year than she was when she first tried to retire and, as a result, with a defined benefit pension plan that had been boosted massively. Even now (5 years later) she's going back to consult 2 or 3 days a month for 160% of her retiring salary...

LOVE THIS!!!

Yeah.  @UK Dancer , your mum rocks.

Still Being

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #2513 on: October 04, 2018, 11:41:37 AM »
@UK Dancer that is awesome! Interested to hear what her skillset was if you don't mind sharing?

UK Dancer

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #2514 on: October 05, 2018, 12:55:56 AM »
Bearing in mind quite how unique it seems to be as a skillset and given she's still consulting, I'd probably better not be too specific, but it's a highly complex area of international tax law.

Maenad

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #2515 on: October 05, 2018, 05:21:34 AM »
Your mum is a BOSS!!

electriceagle

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #2516 on: October 05, 2018, 06:49:55 AM »
This discussion on restaurants and race reminded me of the cultural appropriation uproar in Portlandia last year.  How could a Mexican or an Indian restaurant even consider hiring a white person?

https://www.tastingtable.com/dine/national/portland-kooks-burritos-cultural-appropriation-restaurant-list

/sarc off

My favorite restaurant in my (second) college town was a Mexican restaurant that was purchased by an Indian family. Best everything ever.

Mother Fussbudget

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #2517 on: October 05, 2018, 06:29:57 PM »
When is an Asshair not an asshair?  (Asshair#5) the latest in a 20+ year saga...


Can you continue to work, please?  These are great stories and I think you need more content to entertain us.

TIA


Not likely, but I *DO* have a follow-up on Asshair#5 which is karmicly interesting...  funny(?)... you tell me.

Around August 14th, I rode my bike back to my last contract job site to treat myself to a free fancy coffee.  Even without a badge, I walked right in.  In fact, someone who knew me arrived at the same minute I did, and HELD THE DOOR FOR ME(!) 
I had rolled off the contract work on July 31st after training my back-fill person, and saying my goodbyes.  I found my former project co-workers exactly where I expected - 'camping' in the plush kitchen area in one of the more artistic buildings on campus.  We were discouraged from 'camping', but we had been promised a regular place to sit & work since APRIL, so... we did what we had to do to continue to perform good work. 

They were both happy to see me - my friendly co-worker AND my 'backfill'.  BUT... Asshair#5 wasn't scowling in his corner apart from the other two.  But while they seemed glad to see me, they also seemed... nervous.

ME:  So?  What's up? Where's AH5, and why so nervous?
THEM:  He was released from the project yesterday.  (!!!???!!!)  After you left, he had no one to talk him down from the ledge and he continued to muddle in 'corporate politics' (note: a BIG NO-NO when you're a contractor - just 'do-the-job').  The John let him go.  Today, we're meeting with the director to learn OUR fate this morning at 10am. 

WHOA!  Apparently the guy that caused me to pull the "FI" card [admittedly that was a bit passive aggressive, but I could afford to be that way... I certainly wasn't going to get into playing office politics the way Asshair#5 was doing] was 'released' (fired) from the project because he was overreaching his position, and trying to dictate how the development resources should get THEIR jobs done.  There was a massive butting of heads, and it was a fight he wasn't going to win. 

I briefly thought... S#!T, I could slip back in and project manage this thing in his place - I know how *I* would run it, and it would be much more to the client's liking!  But then, I realized I had already starting selling off all my stuff, donating stuff to Goodwill & other thriftstores, etc to prepare to sell the house and move to a LCOL area.  I'd rented the truck for 8/20 - and it wasn't worth postponing FI again just to butter my ego.  Ces't la vie!

Instead, I went into 'calm these guys down' mode.  "You're the two who are actually doing the WORK on the product / Project planning side, and they'd be crazy to let you go.  Just let them know you're still doing the work, and look forward to be able to give direct feedback instead of funneling everything through the 'Asshair#5 Filter'.  It was a bittersweet reunion, but I smiled all the way home after using their 'barista machine' to make myself two fancy coffee's.

solon

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #2518 on: October 05, 2018, 09:12:10 PM »
When is an Asshair not an asshair?  (Asshair#5) the latest in a 20+ year saga...


Can you continue to work, please?  These are great stories and I think you need more content to entertain us.

TIA


Not likely, but I *DO* have a follow-up on Asshair#5 which is karmicly interesting...  funny(?)... you tell me.

Around August 14th, I rode my bike back to my last contract job site to treat myself to a free fancy coffee.  Even without a badge, I walked right in.  In fact, someone who knew me arrived at the same minute I did, and HELD THE DOOR FOR ME(!) 
I had rolled off the contract work on July 31st after training my back-fill person, and saying my goodbyes.  I found my former project co-workers exactly where I expected - 'camping' in the plush kitchen area in one of the more artistic buildings on campus.  We were discouraged from 'camping', but we had been promised a regular place to sit & work since APRIL, so... we did what we had to do to continue to perform good work. 

They were both happy to see me - my friendly co-worker AND my 'backfill'.  BUT... Asshair#5 wasn't scowling in his corner apart from the other two.  But while they seemed glad to see me, they also seemed... nervous.

ME:  So?  What's up? Where's AH5, and why so nervous?
THEM:  He was released from the project yesterday.  (!!!???!!!)  After you left, he had no one to talk him down from the ledge and he continued to muddle in 'corporate politics' (note: a BIG NO-NO when you're a contractor - just 'do-the-job').  The John let him go.  Today, we're meeting with the director to learn OUR fate this morning at 10am. 

WHOA!  Apparently the guy that caused me to pull the "FI" card [admittedly that was a bit passive aggressive, but I could afford to be that way... I certainly wasn't going to get into playing office politics the way Asshair#5 was doing] was 'released' (fired) from the project because he was overreaching his position, and trying to dictate how the development resources should get THEIR jobs done.  There was a massive butting of heads, and it was a fight he wasn't going to win. 

I briefly thought... S#!T, I could slip back in and project manage this thing in his place - I know how *I* would run it, and it would be much more to the client's liking!  But then, I realized I had already starting selling off all my stuff, donating stuff to Goodwill & other thriftstores, etc to prepare to sell the house and move to a LCOL area.  I'd rented the truck for 8/20 - and it wasn't worth postponing FI again just to butter my ego.  Ces't la vie!

Instead, I went into 'calm these guys down' mode.  "You're the two who are actually doing the WORK on the product / Project planning side, and they'd be crazy to let you go.  Just let them know you're still doing the work, and look forward to be able to give direct feedback instead of funneling everything through the 'Asshair#5 Filter'.  It was a bittersweet reunion, but I smiled all the way home after using their 'barista machine' to make myself two fancy coffee's.

Would it be too self-serving to point out that I made a t-shirt based on Asshair#5?  https://smile.amazon.com/dp/B07FKRCC8M

WhiteTrashCash

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #2519 on: October 06, 2018, 12:29:59 PM »
This discussion on restaurants and race reminded me of the cultural appropriation uproar in Portlandia last year.  How could a Mexican or an Indian restaurant even consider hiring a white person?

https://www.tastingtable.com/dine/national/portland-kooks-burritos-cultural-appropriation-restaurant-list

/sarc off

That article, just... wow.
[rant]
No offense to the easily offended (which is most Americans these days), but my family has lived on this continent for 15,000 years and in one branch or another absorbed almost every other immigrant group that has entered the territory that is now the United States for the past 400 years. I will make and eat (and sell if I feel like it) any damn food I want. I will also wear any clothes I want, any Halloween costume I want, listen and make any music I want, and produce any kind of art I want. If people don't like it, then they can move to another country that isn't multicultural like ours. [/rant]

Cannot Wait!

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #2520 on: October 17, 2018, 11:45:14 AM »
Hey,  for those of you with a long memory - I posted on here 2 years ago about a hideous boss.   Seems I was not alone in thinking so...

https://www.google.com/amp/s/globalnews.ca/news/4557549/kingston-pet-sitting-business-allegedly-mismanaged-says-former-workers-client/amp/


thriftycanuck

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #2521 on: October 22, 2018, 09:41:25 PM »
I am about to apply my FU stache and quit a toxic boss/job within the next week or so.  Will be back on this thread to provide an update of how it went!  No job to go to btw.

Dicey

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #2522 on: October 23, 2018, 02:36:43 AM »
Hey,  for those of you with a long memory - I posted on here 2 years ago about a hideous boss.   Seems I was not alone in thinking so...

https://www.google.com/amp/s/globalnews.ca/news/4557549/kingston-pet-sitting-business-allegedly-mismanaged-says-former-workers-client/amp/
OMG, I totally remember the horrible "you're fired" texts. I hope you landed on your feet, and that everyone gets a fair settlement.

Cannot Wait!

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #2523 on: October 23, 2018, 05:54:27 AM »
Of course I landed on my feet - I'm a MUSTACHIAN!   LOL :)
I had the feeling she wasn't going to pay me so I told her I'd be holding on to all the clients' keys until she e-transferred me all the money she owed me. She was outraged and threatened to call the police... I told her to go right ahead.
She had no choice but to pay right away, then  she cowardly sent someone else over to collect the keys.   I had that person sign for them and that was that.

zolotiyeruki

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #2524 on: October 23, 2018, 07:42:24 AM »
Hey,  for those of you with a long memory - I posted on here 2 years ago about a hideous boss.   Seems I was not alone in thinking so...

https://www.google.com/amp/s/globalnews.ca/news/4557549/kingston-pet-sitting-business-allegedly-mismanaged-says-former-workers-client/amp/
For those who don't have the time to track it down:

The text message exchange between the boss and Cannot Wait!: https://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/welcome-to-the-forum/epic-fu-money-stories/msg1015592/#msg1015592

Still Being

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #2525 on: October 23, 2018, 08:18:09 AM »
Hey,  for those of you with a long memory - I posted on here 2 years ago about a hideous boss.   Seems I was not alone in thinking so...

https://www.google.com/amp/s/globalnews.ca/news/4557549/kingston-pet-sitting-business-allegedly-mismanaged-says-former-workers-client/amp/
For those who don't have the time to track it down:

The text message exchange between the boss and Cannot Wait!: https://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/welcome-to-the-forum/epic-fu-money-stories/msg1015592/#msg1015592

I remember the one job I had where the manager would text. I haven't allowed it since. Have had people text and I will respond by email or some other method when I am back in the office.

That conversation was off-the-clock (hourly job) where I just asked for clarification on what the duties were, and the response started with "Fortunately, I am your supervisor and I can tell you what you need to do..." and very abrasive messages followed afterwards. Quit the next day.

RWD

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #2526 on: October 23, 2018, 08:23:10 AM »
Hey,  for those of you with a long memory - I posted on here 2 years ago about a hideous boss.   Seems I was not alone in thinking so...

https://www.google.com/amp/s/globalnews.ca/news/4557549/kingston-pet-sitting-business-allegedly-mismanaged-says-former-workers-client/amp/
For those who don't have the time to track it down:

The text message exchange between the boss and Cannot Wait!: https://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/welcome-to-the-forum/epic-fu-money-stories/msg1015592/#msg1015592

Wow!

Warlord1986

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #2527 on: October 23, 2018, 08:35:21 AM »
Copied from my journal.


So our Executive Director came in my office and told me she wanted to take on a 'leadership role' now that my supervisor was leaving. I said I would need the title of interim director and the according pay. She immediately shot that down. When I said that wouldn't work for me she started threatening me with double speak and dog whistles. I decided life is too short to put up with that crap and sent HR my two weeks notice.

I have some money saved and a part time job. But if anyone wants to buy one of my short stories, here's a link: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07CKSBZT1

markbike528CBX

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #2528 on: October 23, 2018, 09:26:17 AM »
Copied from my journal.
..... I said that wouldn't work for me she started threatening me with double speak and dog whistles.....

I've read 1984 so I know about double-speak, but I'm curious what constitutes dog whistles.

Warlord1986

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #2529 on: October 23, 2018, 10:19:45 AM »
Copied from my journal.
..... I said that wouldn't work for me she started threatening me with double speak and dog whistles.....

I've read 1984 so I know about double-speak, but I'm curious what constitutes dog whistles.

https://www.merriam-webster.com/words-at-play/dog-whistle-political-meaning

When she started saying she would be checking in with me every day and making sure everything got done, she was signaling she would make my life miserable. I decided she can make someone else's life miserable. :)

mm1970

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #2530 on: October 23, 2018, 10:47:04 AM »
Copied from my journal.
..... I said that wouldn't work for me she started threatening me with double speak and dog whistles.....

I've read 1984 so I know about double-speak, but I'm curious what constitutes dog whistles.

https://www.merriam-webster.com/words-at-play/dog-whistle-political-meaning

When she started saying she would be checking in with me every day and making sure everything got done, she was signaling she would make my life miserable. I decided she can make someone else's life miserable. :)

Good for you!

DaMa

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #2531 on: October 23, 2018, 06:52:13 PM »
Copied from my journal.


So our Executive Director came in my office and told me she wanted to take on a 'leadership role' now that my supervisor was leaving. I said I would need the title of interim director and the according pay. She immediately shot that down. When I said that wouldn't work for me she started threatening me with double speak and dog whistles. I decided life is too short to put up with that crap and sent HR my two weeks notice.

I have some money saved and a part time job. But if anyone wants to buy one of my short stories, here's a link: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07CKSBZT1

Loved your story.  Congratulations!

Blindsquirrel

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #2532 on: October 26, 2018, 05:50:28 PM »
   Awesome job asking for the pay and title rather than just taking the rotten offer! We had one today at work, mid to late 50s senior purchasing guy quit today, and his last day is this coming Wednesday! His boss was an abrasive tool. (Arrogant without an ounce of smarts to back it up, I suspect he was born with a "Craftsmen" birthmark). He resigned with 3 days notice and pretty sure he bailed about 2 today. I heard this and congratulated him on the great big double bird to Megacorp. He just laughed and said "F this place, I'm retired". He drives a Prius and brings his lunch most days. Pretty GD funny as the joint has lost a number of bright folks in the last few years.  Made my day to see him grinning from ear to ear and happy as hell.

former player

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #2533 on: October 27, 2018, 03:55:07 AM »
   Awesome job asking for the pay and title rather than just taking the rotten offer! We had one today at work, mid to late 50s senior purchasing guy quit today, and his last day is this coming Wednesday! His boss was an abrasive tool. (Arrogant without an ounce of smarts to back it up, I suspect he was born with a "Craftsmen" birthmark). He resigned with 3 days notice and pretty sure he bailed about 2 today. I heard this and congratulated him on the great big double bird to Megacorp. He just laughed and said "F this place, I'm retired". He drives a Prius and brings his lunch most days. Pretty GD funny as the joint has lost a number of bright folks in the last few years.  Made my day to see him grinning from ear to ear and happy as hell.


Can you ask him if he's on the mmm forum?

Blindsquirrel

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #2534 on: October 27, 2018, 08:51:08 AM »
   I will ask him if he is a fellow MMM traveler for kicks. He has been in the thick of managing/payment processing an $85,000,000 project (sterile pharmaceutical filling line) and a direct quote after his F this place statement  was "I don't need the money and I sure as hell don't need the bullshit". He has been well past the IDGAF phase for awhile and is a genuinely pleasant and funny guy to work with for a couple years.  Hoping to buy him a beer next week. :)

Warlord1986

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #2535 on: October 29, 2018, 06:26:36 AM »
   Awesome job asking for the pay and title rather than just taking the rotten offer!

Thank you!

The rotten offer came after a laundry list of dramas. The Executive Director has ranted about my denomination, drops F-bombs like they're going out of style, refused to help me when my supervisor was throwing tantrums in public, and then threatened me when I said I wasn't going to do the work of two people for the price of one.

Eff all that. HR said I'm leaving on a high note, and I've had lots of people say they'll be references for me.

I went for a hike this weekend. Can't wait to do it on a weekday!

MissNancyPryor

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #2536 on: October 29, 2018, 07:20:14 AM »
Small entry and a testament to the power of FU money:

I have a work trip in December which was originally scheduled for the first of the month.  Boss decided that original date didn't work so he rescheduled it and that meant I would have to travel on "Bunko Monday" mid-month.  It is Christmas Bunko Monday, the once-a-year gift exchange and general good time among the 12 ladies in my group.  Bummer to miss but obviously not like I was missing a chemo appointment or something.  Just a disappointment.   

I simply refused and announced that I will not be traveling until Tuesday and will come to the week-long meeting late.  I didn't give a reason other than it was a conflict for me.  Period.  The Boss didn't say a word.  Who knows, maybe he will think poorly of me at bonus time or general shade will be tossed in my direction, but I don't care.  I have more than enough. 

Even though the reason is a little lightweight I was resenting having to travel on that date.  I have missed 3 months of Bunko this year already due to travel and I have just had it

I don't care, I have FU money and will be walking out of there altogether in several more months.  I expect to remain fairly problematic in these remaining months when asked to do things that I don't want to. 

I run a pirate ship and don't need their crap. 
« Last Edit: October 29, 2018, 07:22:17 AM by MissNancyPryor »

smalllife

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #2537 on: October 29, 2018, 07:31:24 AM »
The epicness of this is really diminished by not going into great detail, but I finally have something to share.

I worked at Company A for 4-5 years.  Initially it was great - loved my coworkers, we worked hard (too hard looking back) but we had a fantastic culture and the product/company hit every ethical note I could possibly ask for.  Somewhere along the line, the company found a chicken that laid golden eggs.  Cue modern management and growth mindset.  I've never been one for politics or yes-womaning so I stood up against overload, bad ideas, for the best interests of the clients, etc.  Instead, I was doing three jobs at once, got burnt out and left, accepting a job that on paper was similar but 2x the pay.

Company B was a piece of shit - eh product, lying to customers, poor work culture.   Needless to say I quit after not too long, lesson learned.  Distrust of industry increased.

Went back to Company A, who offered me a great package - reduced hours, higher pay, and the job I had been wanting for years.  A few new higher ups aligned with where I had wanted the company to go, and I wasn't the only one to leave so I gave them the benefit of the doubt.

However, that little pesky modern management and growth mindset was compounded by a 5 year old executive with an unrelated pet project I detested.  When a five year old is in charge they care more about looks and attention than substance, so almost universally disliked or distrusted.   I took concerns up the chain, and every executive agreed  .... but he had final say so nothing was going to change.   Had a heart to heart with my boss, who I like as a person but not as a manager, regarding my position (there just wasn't enough work, ironically, but he wouldn't let me out of his department to be useful) - no action for almost a month.  So, I go in and talk through a six month resignation period to avoid my coworkers being hit hard (I have a special skillset in the software and client base).  Tolerable six months, even if they didn't use a day of it to prepare for me leaving.  Still unpacking mental scars several months down the road, but totally worth it.

Unfortunately they lost one of the last checks against his ego, so apparently it's gotten worse :-(  But, at least I'm not there!

FU money gave me the confidence to talk back, and then to be able to take a break to recover/pivot careers. 

Fun story: 5 year old told me to my face that women are biologically inferior to men in math and science.  It's a mathy job, mostly staffed by women ....


CowboyAndIndian

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #2538 on: October 29, 2018, 08:58:54 AM »
...
Fun story: 5 year old told me to my face that women are biologically inferior to men in math and science.  It's a mathy job, mostly staffed by women ....

Cannot believe in this day and age that any man can think this!

former player

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #2539 on: October 29, 2018, 09:06:30 AM »
...
Fun story: 5 year old told me to my face that women are biologically inferior to men in math and science.  It's a mathy job, mostly staffed by women ....

Cannot believe in this day and age that any man can think this!

I can't believe any woman wouldn't believe it.

EricL

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #2540 on: October 29, 2018, 09:07:19 AM »
...
Fun story: 5 year old told me to my face that women are biologically inferior to men in math and science.  It's a mathy job, mostly staffed by women ....

Cannot believe in this day and age that any man can think this!

I can sadly.  Thereís a lot of BS that gets sold as a package deal on the Internet that people swallow without picking it apart critically.  Especially if it aligns with an ideology and buy in ingratiates you with one side or not buying it may get you ostracized. 

smalllife

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #2541 on: October 29, 2018, 10:21:23 AM »
...
Fun story: 5 year old told me to my face that women are biologically inferior to men in math and science.  It's a mathy job, mostly staffed by women ....

Cannot believe in this day and age that any man can think this!

I can sadly.  Thereís a lot of BS that gets sold as a package deal on the Internet that people swallow without picking it apart critically.  Especially if it aligns with an ideology and buy in ingratiates you with one side or not buying it may get you ostracized.

His is old money/rich-white-guy-club + religion at its core

MarciaB

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #2542 on: October 29, 2018, 03:30:46 PM »
...
Fun story: 5 year old told me to my face that women are biologically inferior to men in math and science.  It's a mathy job, mostly staffed by women ....

Cannot believe in this day and age that any man can think this!

I can sadly.  Thereís a lot of BS that gets sold as a package deal on the Internet that people swallow without picking it apart critically.  Especially if it aligns with an ideology and buy in ingratiates you with one side or not buying it may get you ostracized.

His is old money/rich-white-guy-club + religion at its core

What I can't believe is that he is foolish enough to voice this opinion out loud. Like, hasn't he gone to enough HR-covers-their-ass-because-the-lawyers-told-them-to seminars and trainings? I can't tell you how many hours I've had to spend in "trainings" like that over the years.

smalllife

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #2543 on: October 30, 2018, 06:32:04 AM »
...
Fun story: 5 year old told me to my face that women are biologically inferior to men in math and science.  It's a mathy job, mostly staffed by women ....

Cannot believe in this day and age that any man can think this!

I can sadly.  Thereís a lot of BS that gets sold as a package deal on the Internet that people swallow without picking it apart critically.  Especially if it aligns with an ideology and buy in ingratiates you with one side or not buying it may get you ostracized.

His is old money/rich-white-guy-club + religion at its core

What I can't believe is that he is foolish enough to voice this opinion out loud. Like, hasn't he gone to enough HR-covers-their-ass-because-the-lawyers-told-them-to seminars and trainings? I can't tell you how many hours I've had to spend in "trainings" like that over the years.

We're talking about a guy who can - and does - repeatedly ignore HR warnings and yet is in charge of his little world with no repercussions.  When I called him out on a few things (including that one) his face was shock that someone would dare say something contradictory.  That particular statement was not in the office, but the reason I left is that there was LITERALLY no way to keep him in check.  The one person who might have was checked out and didn't care about much.

Rosy

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #2544 on: October 30, 2018, 07:31:25 AM »
...
Fun story: 5 year old told me to my face that women are biologically inferior to men in math and science.  It's a mathy job, mostly staffed by women ....

Cannot believe in this day and age that any man can think this!

I can sadly.  Thereís a lot of BS that gets sold as a package deal on the Internet that people swallow without picking it apart critically.  Especially if it aligns with an ideology and buy in ingratiates you with one side or not buying it may get you ostracized.

His is old money/rich-white-guy-club + religion at its core

What I can't believe is that he is foolish enough to voice this opinion out loud. Like, hasn't he gone to enough HR-covers-their-ass-because-the-lawyers-told-them-to seminars and trainings? I can't tell you how many hours I've had to spend in "trainings" like that over the years.

WTH do we think it is OK if it is hidden? Instead, they should be forced to wear an emblem on their suits/shirts for all to see. (Feeling radical this morning, haven't finished my first cup of coffee yet:)
The dude is probably in charge of the HR meeting and takes notes on all the hidden machinations on how best to keep the women in their place or deny them the same pay advantages.

smalllife just saw your update - I think until you've worked somewhere like that and saw it in action - even a lot of women still refuse to believe it. Sometimes I think the young women of today have blinders on or have been brainwashed into thinking that women already have equality in the working world.
 
Wage slaves don't fight back, you need both FU money and personal courage to walk away.

Kitsune

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #2545 on: October 30, 2018, 07:55:15 AM »
...
Fun story: 5 year old told me to my face that women are biologically inferior to men in math and science.  It's a mathy job, mostly staffed by women ....

Cannot believe in this day and age that any man can think this!

I can sadly.  Thereís a lot of BS that gets sold as a package deal on the Internet that people swallow without picking it apart critically.  Especially if it aligns with an ideology and buy in ingratiates you with one side or not buying it may get you ostracized.

His is old money/rich-white-guy-club + religion at its core

I once started a new job as a manager of a team, and one dude promptly told me that he had to verify my instructions with, and I quote, 'the man in charge', because he was Christian and couldn't take instructions from a woman.

3 guesses as to how long he lasted...

(Ironically, a year later, he was still job searching, and my dad called to be like 'this dude just applied to work with me and apparently he worked at your company before… Do you know him?')

saguaro

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #2546 on: October 30, 2018, 09:12:48 AM »
...
Fun story: 5 year old told me to my face that women are biologically inferior to men in math and science.  It's a mathy job, mostly staffed by women ....

Cannot believe in this day and age that any man can think this!

I can sadly.  Thereís a lot of BS that gets sold as a package deal on the Internet that people swallow without picking it apart critically.  Especially if it aligns with an ideology and buy in ingratiates you with one side or not buying it may get you ostracized.

His is old money/rich-white-guy-club + religion at its core

I once started a new job as a manager of a team, and one dude promptly told me that he had to verify my instructions with, and I quote, 'the man in charge', because he was Christian and couldn't take instructions from a woman.

Years ago at my workplace, we had a contract project manager come on board to assist with a network transition after a company merger.  He wore his Christianity on his sleeve and was condescending to every woman he encountered.  Until he ended up with a female boss as a result of his former (male boss) bailing on the project.   We watched to see what he would do as his new boss was not the type to take any nonsense.  He stuck around until the end of the project, but we could tell he was gritting his teeth through it.     And....his coordinator at the agency that sent him was also a woman.  With four kids and a husband stayed home to take care of them while she brought in the bacon.   Seat through a luncheon where she was in attendance and talked about her family, he was really gritting his teeth through that one. 

He went on to work as a project manager for another large corporation in the area but it seemed he didn't last long as he was contacting some of us to inquire about coming back.  We did not want him back. 

Sibley

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #2547 on: October 30, 2018, 12:24:58 PM »
....
smalllife just saw your update - I think until you've worked somewhere like that and saw it in action - even a lot of women still refuse to believe it. Sometimes I think the young women of today have blinders on or have been brainwashed into thinking that women already have equality in the working world.
 
Wage slaves don't fight back, you need both FU money and personal courage to walk away.

To be fair, I didn't necessarily see it either at first. I do now. It took experience and maturity. When you're right out of college, you expect to be questioned, etc. Regardless of what gender you are. Now, I've been lucky. I'm the right color to protect me from some of it. And I've had luck working with people who aren't at least terrible. I do deal with crap, just a lot less than other women do.

mm1970

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #2548 on: October 30, 2018, 01:01:05 PM »
Quote
I once started a new job as a manager of a team, and one dude promptly told me that he had to verify my instructions with, and I quote, 'the man in charge', because he was Christian and couldn't take instructions from a woman.

Oh my goodness.  I haven't encountered any of that.  I have worked with people who treat women like crap and throw everyone under the bus. That didn't go so well when he realized that I literally have known the company CEO and president and VP for almost two decades.

So my spouse's company ... for a long time, it was run by mostly upper middle class men with wives at home.  Far more than you'd expect.  My guess is a few reasons: 1. Mostly PhDs in tech, so well paid.  2.  cost of living was lower when the company was founded, so you wouldn't spend 60% of your pay on housing. 3. a lot of government work, so on the conservative side.

Now obviously that changes over time.  There are still a lot of guys there in their late 40's and up, but also a lot of 20-somethings.  There are also a growing number of women working there, including some who are married to men who work there.  When my husband started working there, our oldest (at the time, only) child was about 1.5 years old.  We were invited to the company picnic before he even started, and then to the Christmas party.  It only took 10 minutes at each to drive me up a fucking wall.  All the execs asking about how things are going at home...then you let them know that you actually work full time.  And then you get the "oh" and the "look".  (This was 10 yrs ago, still pisses me off!)

And it's better but...not much. There are still groups at his company who are like this, and who grumble at the dads who having working wives - who take off when the kids are sick, etc.  When kid #2 was a newborn, spouse traveled THREE times in the first 6 weeks (for a total of 25% of the days).  On the final trip, night before he was to come home, the government director said "I'm going to need you to stay all weekend in case something goes wrong."  He refused because: duh, 6 week old baby at home.  She complained to his boss about how he needs to hire younger, unencumbered people.  (Which: newsflash, my 44 yo husband got a crap ton more done than a newbie would ... because he's experienced.)  Funny thing, I was so happy when that contract ended, but I still sneer at that woman's name. 

mm1970

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #2549 on: October 30, 2018, 01:03:53 PM »
....
smalllife just saw your update - I think until you've worked somewhere like that and saw it in action - even a lot of women still refuse to believe it. Sometimes I think the young women of today have blinders on or have been brainwashed into thinking that women already have equality in the working world.
 
Wage slaves don't fight back, you need both FU money and personal courage to walk away.

To be fair, I didn't necessarily see it either at first. I do now. It took experience and maturity. When you're right out of college, you expect to be questioned, etc. Regardless of what gender you are. Now, I've been lucky. I'm the right color to protect me from some of it. And I've had luck working with people who aren't at least terrible. I do deal with crap, just a lot less than other women do.
Plus, I think I've read that studies show that equality really takes a dive after the first few years.  Any kind of "gap" is not necessarily noticed at the beginning, because it's small.

It's one reason why change takes such a long time.  I certainly saw a difference in treatment right off the bat, but then I was a woman in the military (at least my pay was the same!!  Last time that ever happened.)

As you get more experience to where you are the expert, or expect to be taken seriously - that's when the shit really starts to happen.