Enjoy Life Now

[2527]

I like this website and I applaud people who are putting their financial house in order.  I really enjoy reading about their accomplishments.  They are making themselves stronger and that is great.

I'm just worried that it may be another form of "When I accomplish X, I'll be happy."  X can be get a promotion,  lose weight, buy a house, buy a boat, get married, get divorced, qualify for a pension, retire, etc.

Happiness should be achievable under almost all circumstances.

[arebelspy]

MOD NOTE: I'm splitting this to its own thread, not completely sure of it's ties to Your Mustache Might Be Evil.

I like this website and I applaud people who are putting their financial house in order.  I really enjoy reading about their accomplishments.  They are making themselves stronger and that is great.

I'm just worried that it may be another form of "When I accomplish X, I'll be happy."  X can be get a promotion,  lose weight, buy a house, buy a boat, get married, get divorced, qualify for a pension, retire, etc.

Happiness should be achievable under almost all circumstances.

I think almost everyone here agrees with that, and is already on board.

I'm so supremely happy, I can't imagine being any happier.  Every day is amazing!

I'll enjoy FI, but the world is wonderful now, you don't have to wait to enjoy anything.

I think almost many people here share the same mindset.   I may just be assuming that though, because I'm projecting.  You got me curious, so poll added!

[matchewed]

Yeah FI won't get me happier, what it will do is provide opportunities that I would otherwise not take at this moment. Mostly in the form of the freedom of time. I'm perfectly happy working and intend to do so for some time during FIRE. So I don't imagine more happiness, I imagine more time.

[tomsang]

I am happy now and plan on being happy in retirement

[Joet]

it's all a balance: I get ridiculed for a high level of spending as it is understood a lot of that is (enjoy it now) type of 'want' purchases. I'm ok with that.

I think you have to balance 'living for today' with 'planning for tomorrow', as you never know when that bus might run you over.

A simpler way to put it is to smooth lifetime consumption a bit.

I've been told I'm wrong on this topic but I don't think so at least on the whole--this forum or the people in it are all about a franciscan lifestyle/ascetism it seems and have collectively decided that spending ~2k/3k a month is 'right', awesome, great. That's certainly one way of doing it. But it also doesnt mean that someone spending some $$ while they are younger is a hedonist. Or maybe it does. But once we get beyond labelling people/derisions theres personal situations and individual hopes and dreams.

[2527]

Joet, I think the key is to spend money on things I really enjoy.  If the greatest thing in my life is watching cable TV, I should pay for cable.  It can be Starbucks with friends, eating out, travel, dressing well, hosting large family dinners, a nice house...whatever it is, if it really makes me happy, it's OK.  That's different from thoughtlessly spending everything I earn every month. 

[grantmeaname]

I'm happier now than before I found the mustache. I imagine I'll be even happier someday when I retire.

[matchewed]

Joet, I think often times the difference between your viewpoint and Mustachianism is the difference between being able to afford everything I want vs. choosing specific things and going after those and leaving the others for later or never. You can't afford everything you want or you run into the 9k a month spending. If you think you can sustain that throughout your lifetime then fine, you'll just be considered more wasteful than the ascetics as you've labeled them (which constitutes a larger portion of the US than the individuals living off of 9k a month).

Also labeling it as asceticism is extreme as even the middle class lifestyle is rife with luxuries. Dipping below 6k a month is not deprivation, moving away from an expensive lifestyle does not mean sacrifice and living off of white rice and water.

[arebelspy]

Joet, I think the key is to spend money on things I really enjoy.  If the greatest thing in my life is watching cable TV, I should pay for cable.  It can be Starbucks with friends, eating out, travel, dressing well, hosting large family dinners, a nice house...whatever it is, if it really makes me happy, it's OK.  That's different from thoughtlessly spending everything I earn every month.

100% agree. I pay for a fancy iPhone plan because I genuinely get enjoyment from it.  But I completely understand those that don't (my wife doesn't care, for example).  I don't care about eating out, but I'm fine with those that really enjoy the experience.  It's all about choosing what makes you really happy.  Too many people chase happiness because they don't actually know what makes them happy, and waste tons of money on stuff that doesn't add to their happiness levels.

Conscious spending is key.

I'm happier now than before I found the mustache. I imagine I'll be even happier someday when I retire.

Yeah, I suppose.  I mean I'm happier now than I was in the past.  Every day is better than the day before.

So intellectually I can accept that I may be happier in the future.  I just can't picture it.  I'm the happiest I've ever been, and I can't imagine being happier.  But I can accept that I might be, I just don't understand what that would feel like or look like.

It'd be like looking at the greenest lawn you've ever seen and saying "wow, that's the greenest lawn I've ever seen.. but maybe it'll be greener in the future."

[dragoncar]

I'm happier now than before I found the mustache. I imagine I'll be even happier someday when I retire.

Same here.  Otherwise why retire? If it won't bring any additional happiness?

[arebelspy]

Same here.  Otherwise why retire? If it won't bring any additional happiness?

To do something different.  Other than that, there's no particular reason, and staying working is a fine option.

It will bring an equal amount of happiness.

I will be just as happy working at my job, traveling around the world, sweeping the floor, or eating a burger.

Let me turn it around and ask you: why would you choose to have one of those options make you less happy?

[DocCyane]

I've never been a natural at the happy thing. I don't want a 9 to 5 life, yet that's what I have. I don't want to live in the city where I reside, yet must do so for now.

My health comes and goes. I'm bad at managing stress. And so on and la, la, la.

I do believe I will be happy once I reach a certain financial point, which is just like an overweight person believing all life will be better when she reaches 110 pounds. Or whatever.

But it's my stupid thinking, damn it, and I'm sticking to it.

I'm not unhappy now. I'm just not happy. But I see a brighter future and that makes today more tolerable.

[Michelle119]

I honestly think you need to enjoy your life now to enjoy your FI. If you are miserable now it will make it that much harder to save your money. Yeah I could cut back in a few spendy things in my life, but I enjoy watching sports on tv and going out with friends so I make sacrifices and don't go on tons of luxurious vacations or renovate my kitchen and bathrooms like I want to. Honestly, I had a wake-up call this year when my mom unexpectedly passed away at an early age, she and my dad always put off traveling and doing certain things to plan for retirement to do them all. While I'm not out racking up debt left and right I took my dad's advice and he said money won't buy you happiness and feel free to kick back every once in a while.

[dragoncar]

Same here.  Otherwise why retire? If it won't bring any additional happiness?

To do something different.  Other than that, there's no particular reason, and staying working is a fine option.

It will bring an equal amount of happiness.

I will be just as happy working at my job, traveling around the world, sweeping the floor, or eating a burger.

Let me turn it around and ask you: why would you choose to have one of those options make you less happy?

I guess this can fall into the category I semantics, but I'd posit that if you are Doing something else because it would be "different," then you place value on new experiences.  So if the new experience would otherwise make you equally happy, the additional benefit of doing something "different" would make you more happy.  But I guess I believe in the "mother Theresa is not selfless" school of thought where even people who do things that might not superficially make them happy, do so for personal satisfaction that may not be apparent.    In other words, people do things because they expect it will make them happy, or increase future and total happiness (which expectation can be and often is incorrect, but that is the motivation).

Edit: Here's another example that might apply to some here.  FI might not directly make someone more happy.  But it can add stability, for example resilience against future job loss, economic turmoil, etc.  But then the peace of mind that stability affords can be characterized as a kind of "happiness".  Thus, I would say this person expects to be happier after FI than before.

[arebelspy]

I guess this can fall into the category I semantics, but I'd posit that if you are Doing something else because it would be "different," then you place value on new experiences.  So if the new experience would otherwise make you equally happy, the additional benefit of doing something "different" would make you more happy. 

But the doing something different doesn't grant any extra happiness.  It's the same happiness, doing the same things or different things.  And if you chose to do the same thing, fine.  Happy.  If you chose to do something different fine.  Happy.

I honestly think you need to enjoy your life now to enjoy your FI.

There's a line from the classic movie Cool Runnings in which John Candy, referring to an Olympic gold medal, says "If you aren't enough without it, you'll never be enough with it."

That applies to a lot of things, not least of all money.

[Lackland]

Speaking of not being a natural at the happy thing... The happiness question is pretty weird for me, as I've realized that I have bad seasonal depression. I checked the "never be happy" option on the poll. Pretty much my entire adult life has been an annual pattern of starting something new and exciting at the end of summer (i.e., a fresh new year of college/grad school, a new job, a cross-country move), followed by a godawful period of boredom, listlessness, and existential ennui that grinds on and on from about November to June. And it's all caused by something as stupid as a lack of daily average sunlight. This year was surprisingly harsh, as I started to understand the depth of my financial mistakes and realization that my first post-degree career-field job kind of sucks. I feel like there is no control over this state of misery, but of course, that is itself a symptom of the disease.  I suppose that's why I read this blog/forum all day, because it ultimately about gaining control over one's spending, then one's retirement money, and finally more control over your life.

[BPA]

I think I will check the "I will never be happy" box just to be a countershitdisturber.

I have been happy in my job until recently.  So, I expect that I will be happier when I retire, because I am sick of the bullshit. 

There are other things I want to do in life, and reaching FI will help me do them too.

Don't want to run out of life before I've done most of what I would love to do.

But, according to the narrowness of the survey, I think that could translate into "I will never be happy."  Happiness is not linear; it's more like a multiple orgasm.  So as for never being happy I say, pfft. 

[dragoncar]

I guess this can fall into the category I semantics, but I'd posit that if you are Doing something else because it would be "different," then you place value on new experiences.  So if the new experience would otherwise make you equally happy, the additional benefit of doing something "different" would make you more happy. 

But the doing something different doesn't grant any extra happiness.  It's the same happiness, doing the same things or different things.  And if you chose to do the same thing, fine.  Happy.  If you chose to do something different fine.  Happy.

Again, then why do it (something different) if no happier?  I Admit I don't understand your "turn it around" question so maybe it's a linguistic issue but I suspect more philosophical

[Albert]

I see happiness as a short term thing - one would have to be on drugs to have it all the time. I'm however satisfied with my life most of the time.

FI will not make me even more satisfied, but it will be an insurance policy against any future adverse events. And by the way, while I happen to save a fair portion of my income, my lifestyle is anything but Spartan.

[arebelspy]

Again, then why do it (something different) if no happier?  I Admit I don't understand your "turn it around" question so maybe it's a linguistic issue but I suspect more philosophical

There is no reason to if the only reason you do things is to be happier.  If all things make me equally happy, however, that's not a reason to change what I'm doing because of it.

I only do things that make me happy.  And everything makes me happy.

To explain the turn it around question:
(First repeating it, so others don't have to scroll up and find it:
"I will be just as happy working at my job, traveling around the world, sweeping the floor, or eating a burger.

Let me turn it around and ask you: why would you choose to have one of those options make you less happy?")

The point of it is: why would you do something that doesn't make you happy?  Pick whatever will make you happiest, and do that.  Before FI, after FI, at a job, not at a job, do what makes you happiest at any given moment.

I am enjoying the hell out of posting in this thread, and then I will enjoy drinking a glass of water.  I can already picture it, cool, and refreshing, and it will bring me just as much pleasure as typing these words.

If I didn't do it, okay, I'll get as much happiness out of whatever I am doing.

If you didn't get pleasure out of drinking the water, why would you do it?

I will be happy in FI, just as happy as I am at my job.  Fully 100% ecstatic, thrilled, and jubilated.

[olivia]

Speaking of not being a natural at the happy thing... The happiness question is pretty weird for me, as I've realized that I have bad seasonal depression. I checked the "never be happy" option on the poll. Pretty much my entire adult life has been an annual pattern of starting something new and exciting at the end of summer (i.e., a fresh new year of college/grad school, a new job, a cross-country move), followed by a godawful period of boredom, listlessness, and existential ennui that grinds on and on from about November to June. And it's all caused by something as stupid as a lack of daily average sunlight. This year was surprisingly harsh, as I started to understand the depth of my financial mistakes and realization that my first post-degree career-field job kind of sucks. I feel like there is no control over this state of misery, but of course, that is itself a symptom of the disease.  I suppose that's why I read this blog/forum all day, because it ultimately about gaining control over one's spending, then one's retirement money, and finally more control over your life.

There is control over it!  Get a sun lamp, go to therapy, consider anti-depressants if both of those aren't enough.  I've been there and I promise you that you can get out of the cycle of depression, and then you'll wish you dealt with it sooner.

[olivia]

Joet, I think the key is to spend money on things I really enjoy.  If the greatest thing in my life is watching cable TV, I should pay for cable.  It can be Starbucks with friends, eating out, travel, dressing well, hosting large family dinners, a nice house...whatever it is, if it really makes me happy, it's OK.  That's different from thoughtlessly spending everything I earn every month.

I agree with this.  I'll probably never get down to the $2k/month spending level, but being conscious of what I'm spending makes me happier than when I just piss away everything I earn.  I will gladly spend $2k on a vacation, for example, but if $2k just disappears because of stupid choices like buying clothes when I don't need them or eating out too much, I'm bummed out.

I definitely think it's important to be happy now, but that can sometimes lead to a YOLO attitude and irresponsibility.  I get that you can't take it with you, and I don't see the point of saving every cent for the future and never indulging in the present.  However, I think there is a huge sense of security in having a cushion or even fuck you money, which can increase happiness.

[ToeInTheWater]

i choose "other" as in "i'm happy now, and expect to be happy forever!"

b

[happy]

I'm happier now than before I found the mustache. I imagine I'll be even happier someday when I retire.

+1.

I don't naturally tend to Arebelspy's perpetual state of effervescence.
I am much happier since I stopped spending money as a way to make me happier.
I feel much happier now I have an executable life-plan, that makes me happier along the way.
I am much happier now I am semi-retired and imagine I'll be happier when I fully retire.

[sheepstache]

FI might not directly make someone more happy.  But it can add stability, for example resilience against future job loss, economic turmoil, etc.  But then the peace of mind that stability affords can be characterized as a kind of "happiness".  Thus, I would say this person expects to be happier after FI than before.

This definitely applies to me.  Just having the stability of large savings is making me happier now.  But I wonder.  I've realized I'm afraid to leave my job for a new one  because I don't want to risk post-poning my FI date.
In other words, normally I would just stash money away and not think of it as being for any particular purpose.  But now that I have a purpose for my savings, I worry about doing anything that would risk that goal.

[arebelspy]

I don't naturally tend to Arebelspy's perpetual state of effervescence.

I don't tend to it naturally either.  But now I can't imagine living any other way.

[steveo]

I'm happier now than before I found the mustache. I imagine I'll be even happier someday when I retire.

I voted happy right now and I am but truthfully I think I'll be happier not having to go to work. I also like nice clothes, nice food and wine and sometimes eating at restaurants. I enjoy travel. The thing is none of these things are really that enjoyable. The highlight of my week is really going to the gym and doing jiu-jitsu, reading and watching some TV. The stuff I get the most pleasure from is pretty cheap.

[happy]

I don't naturally tend to Arebelspy's perpetual state of effervescence.

I don't tend to it naturally either.  But now I can't imagine living any other way.

Working on it.....

[Jamesqf]

I really think happy vs not happy is way too simplistic a way to look at life.  I probably would fall under the "not happy" column, and stay there unless the world changes in some pretty significant, unlikely, and almost completely out of my control ways.  But that doesn't mean that I don't find enjoyment in things - I'm not going around laboring under a black cloud of depression.

I have, and do, spend significant amounts of money that I could otherwise be saving to increase my FI-ness level (e.g. from independently poor to independently middle class), but I'm spending it on things I really want, not stuff that a consumerist society and its marketing mavens have persuaded me that I absolutely have to have to keep up with whoever are the Jones in my circle.

[gooki]

I'm content with the choices I've made, combine this with a positive attitude, make for a very happy person.

Do I wish I could be doing something other than working today? Hell yes. Am I unhappy because I'm not? Hell no.

[DocCyane]

Let me turn it around and ask you: why would you choose to have one of those options make you less happy?")

The point of it is: why would you do something that doesn't make you happy?

I do things that don't make me happy for the greater good. I don't like my job, but don't hate it, so I'll stay there because it brings financial stability to my family. My partner is having a hard time finding full time employment, so my happiness becomes irrelevant when considering our financial stability and welfare.

I'm staying in Los Angeles because of my partner's weak job history and previous bankruptcy. She needs a better resumé and as many years away from that bankruptcy as possible. Picking up and moving to where we'd be happier becomes a lesser priority.

We're also not moving because she will likely need to bury two family members in the coming years and settle their estates. It will be much easier to do while we're still local.

Maybe it's a "where you are in life" thing. With parents near death and jobs hard to come by, you have to play your cards wisely. Happiness is important. But I'm happy knowing where I'm headed. I'm not necessarily happy with what my life is right now except for the small things that happen nearly every day. And I do look for them.

[lizzigee]

Selected 'other ' in poll because - I'm happy now and  I will be happy later. My happiness won't be a constant amount thought, it's levels will vary throughout my life.  But I choose to live a happy life, so I will always be some degree of happy.

(Why would anyone choose not to be happy?  And it is a choice, there is always something good, whether in the past present or future, that you can choose to focus on, rather than the shit things in life) Simplistic? Maybe, but hey, it keeps me happy haha)

[dragoncar]

Let me turn it around and ask you: why would you choose to have one of those options make you less happy?")

The point of it is: why would you do something that doesn't make you happy?  Pick whatever will make you happiest, and do that.  Before FI, after FI, at a job, not at a job, do what makes you happiest at any given moment.

Makes sense... I would only do something that doesn't make me happy in order to gain a disproportionate amount of happiness in the future.  Overall I'm pretty happy, but there are certainly afternoons when I look at the sun shining outside and wish I were out there instead of at my desk.  But I live with that because staying at my desk now means that in a few short years I will be completely free to do whatever makes me happiest.  And enabling that future happiness makes me happy now.

[arebelspy]

Let me turn it around and ask you: why would you choose to have one of those options make you less happy?")

The point of it is: why would you do something that doesn't make you happy?

I do things that don't make me happy for the greater good. I don't like my job, but don't hate it, so I'll stay there because it brings financial stability to my family. My partner is having a hard time finding full time employment, so my happiness becomes irrelevant when considering our financial stability and welfare.

I'm staying in Los Angeles because of my partner's weak job history and previous bankruptcy. She needs a better resumé and as many years away from that bankruptcy as possible. Picking up and moving to where we'd be happier becomes a lesser priority.

We're also not moving because she will likely need to bury two family members in the coming years and settle their estates. It will be much easier to do while we're still local.

Maybe it's a "where you are in life" thing. With parents near death and jobs hard to come by, you have to play your cards wisely. Happiness is important. But I'm happy knowing where I'm headed. I'm not necessarily happy with what my life is right now except for the small things that happen nearly every day. And I do look for them.

Now ask yourself: how can you be just as happy doing those things as doing any other thing?

Why would anyone choose not to be happy?  And it is a choice, there is always something good, whether in the past present or future, that you can choose to focus on, rather than the shit things in life

Yes!

in a few short years I will be completely free to do whatever makes me happiest.

You are completely free now.  The only thing trapping you is you.

And enabling that future happiness makes me happy now.

Yes yes!

[2527]

Lackland, I started using a therapeutic lamp every morning two years ago and it has changed my life. 

Speaking of not being a natural at the happy thing... The happiness question is pretty weird for me, as I've realized that I have bad seasonal depression. I checked the "never be happy" option on the poll. Pretty much my entire adult life has been an annual pattern of starting something new and exciting at the end of summer (i.e., a fresh new year of college/grad school, a new job, a cross-country move), followed by a godawful period of boredom, listlessness, and existential ennui that grinds on and on from about November to June. And it's all caused by something as stupid as a lack of daily average sunlight. This year was surprisingly harsh, as I started to understand the depth of my financial mistakes and realization that my first post-degree career-field job kind of sucks. I feel like there is no control over this state of misery, but of course, that is itself a symptom of the disease.  I suppose that's why I read this blog/forum all day, because it ultimately about gaining control over one's spending, then one's retirement money, and finally more control over your life.

[dragoncar]

Lackland, I started using a therapeutic lamp every morning two years ago and it has changed my life. 

Speaking of not being a natural at the happy thing... The happiness question is pretty weird for me, as I've realized that I have bad seasonal depression. I checked the "never be happy" option on the poll. Pretty much my entire adult life has been an annual pattern of starting something new and exciting at the end of summer (i.e., a fresh new year of college/grad school, a new job, a cross-country move), followed by a godawful period of boredom, listlessness, and existential ennui that grinds on and on from about November to June. And it's all caused by something as stupid as a lack of daily average sunlight. This year was surprisingly harsh, as I started to understand the depth of my financial mistakes and realization that my first post-degree career-field job kind of sucks. I feel like there is no control over this state of misery, but of course, that is itself a symptom of the disease.  I suppose that's why I read this blog/forum all day, because it ultimately about gaining control over one's spending, then one's retirement money, and finally more control over your life.

Is this the kind of thing I can just stick on my desk at work?

[Random]

Pretty damn happy now.  Great family, comfy home, great natural amenities all around, lots of great friends.  My job is by all measures great - I am in the non-profit sector, well compensated, doing mission-related work that I believe in, with reasonable flexibility and good people to work with.

At the same time, a lot of time on my ass.  Even with a standup desk, there are flights, drives, meetings, etc. that keep me in a seat.  And we know now that sitting is the new smoking.  The job also comes with stress, which contributes to poor sleep.  And we know now that insufficient sleep is the new sitting.  And between job and family, it is hard to find the time I want for myself for exercise, projects, etc.

So what to do?  My plan hinges on a big, transformative project that we are kicking the tires on.  If it pans out, I am in for 3-5 years, at which point I will be comfortably past minimum goals (so on the front of the wave).  If the project doesn't pan out, I am in for 1-2 years, which gets me at or above a lavish 75k x 25 (a number that my wife is comfortable with; another story)

[Frankies Girl]

I am in the other category.

I'm not a happy person. Sometimes I can be in a good mood, but that's not my normal. I used to be a bit more on the optimistic side, but the last few years or so have really stomped out the hopeful and optimistic part of myself.

The money sitch isn't anything that is or isn't going to provide real happiness. Sure, it's going to help make life more pleasant in general, but it's not a cure-all. There really are some things that money can't buy.

I just try to keep reminding myself that I have it a whole lot better than most people out there, and make the best of the hand I was dealt.

[Khan]

I selected happy later, because I think that there's some things in my life that only time will change. I'm 25 years old currently employed full time on a night shift schedule. What changes with time from today to years from now?

1. I don't have a college degree, but to do the jobs I *think* I am interested in, I need one so most employers will recognize my abilities(and also because some things just need it from the get go), like engineer or economist(engineering is my background, economics is my passion).
2. I don't have a large enough FI stash, but 5 years from now? Even if I'm not FI, I'll be so ****ing close to it, if I stay employed the entire time.
3. Starting Freshman classes, with all that I've done in life, is annoying and/or ridiculous, and I don't enjoy them at all. I've had a starting problem with the last two semesters, and so I'm taking the rest of this year off to figure that out.
4. Speaking of being employed, I need to stay employed for 2 years minimum(currently at almost 1 1/2 years) to not have to pay back relocation. Moving that to 2 1/2 years means Fall session of college classes. I want to go to school full time, but not with 18-20 year olds, and I quite simply can't justify giving up this paycheck at this point.
5. Speaking of college classes, I have to buckle down and complete them(see point 3)
6. I currently live in an apartment by myself that I don't enjoy. Changing that up to a house with a roommate this month which will at a minimum be financially better(I own the house).
7. I've been single for almost my entire adult life(total relationship time: ~3 months), so I lack a lot of the personal skills and boundaries that one would expect from me, and also I lack game/social life.

Really, I think almost everything I want in life will fall into place around 30, and being an almost FI'd 30 year old with a college degree, bulletproof resume, and no kids... I just can't imagine my 30's and onwards being anything but the most awesome thing ever, because of the decisions I've made up till now. But that may be my problem, too much emphasis on the future and not enough on the now. We'll see. I've got another year or so before I make a decision that jumps the shark on my plans, like going full time college and losing a little of my stash/don't accumulate as much or something. Some things are falling into place starting this month at least, like changing my home status.

[2527]

Yes, but it is best if you use it as soon as you wake up in the morning.  If you have a way of sending my your address, I will photocopy some information and put it in the mail to you. 

Lackland, I started using a therapeutic lamp every morning two years ago and it has changed my life. 

Speaking of not being a natural at the happy thing... The happiness question is pretty weird for me, as I've realized that I have bad seasonal depression. I checked the "never be happy" option on the poll. Pretty much my entire adult life has been an annual pattern of starting something new and exciting at the end of summer (i.e., a fresh new year of college/grad school, a new job, a cross-country move), followed by a godawful period of boredom, listlessness, and existential ennui that grinds on and on from about November to June. And it's all caused by something as stupid as a lack of daily average sunlight. This year was surprisingly harsh, as I started to understand the depth of my financial mistakes and realization that my first post-degree career-field job kind of sucks. I feel like there is no control over this state of misery, but of course, that is itself a symptom of the disease.  I suppose that's why I read this blog/forum all day, because it ultimately about gaining control over one's spending, then one's retirement money, and finally more control over your life.

Is this the kind of thing I can just stick on my desk at work?

[citrine]

I am happy with my life...but it is the past that comes and rears it's ugly head and causes some bumps along the way.
It takes some work to learn how to be grateful for the mundane, but it does do wonders overall.

[StarswirlTheMustached]

I'm just worried that it may be another form of "When I accomplish X, I'll be happy."  X can be get a promotion,  lose weight, buy a house, buy a boat, get married, get divorced, qualify for a pension, retire, etc.

My therapist called this "deferred living," and apparently it is a massively huge problem amongst his clients. The research shows it's bubkis, though-- there's a famous study that looks at spine accident victims and lotto winners. Immediately after becoming disabled by the accident, the victims are, obviously, quite unhappy with their state; the lotto winners are very happy to have won. Come back a year or two later, though, and the majority of the accident victims have come to terms with their disability and are back at the baseline level of happiness and life-satisfaction they had before the accident. Contrariwise, the lotto winners are just as miserable (or happy) as they ever were after getting used to all the shiny new stuff (or FIRE, whatever the case may be).

So if you're happy now, you'll probably continue to be happy. If you're NOT happy now, unless circumstances are truly, truly awful, then you're going to have to find what in yourself causes that unhappiness, and change it. Otherwise not even the biggest moustache in the world can save you.

How to change your baseline? My therapist recommends cognitive behavioural therapy, but it's basically reinvented Stoicism, near as I can tell. Judging by areblespy's joyous visualization of a glass of water, I suspect he's read the Stoics, too.
 

[Crunchy Squirrel]

Deferred living is something I've had to come to terms with over the last year or two. I'm a pretty happy gal, overall, but there was a period of time there when I was doing nothing but saving as much money as I possibly could. Granted, that was about $10 a week and I had to scrape bloody hard to get that much in savings, but our quality of life was suffering big time. I had to learn to let go of the reins a little, stop pinching the pennies so tightly, and let life happen NOW instead of waiting for that indefinable "someday I'll be rich and we can eat out every night" mentality.

I gotta say though, having all the bills covered, extra for saving, and guaranteed enough money put aside to eat out once a fortnight and catch up with friends we wouldn't otherwise see? Priceless. Absolutely priceless. Especially when I compare our situation now to our situation even two years ago.

So in a long, roundabout way, hell yes I'm happy! My life is peaches and cream compared to the past! And it's only going to get better from here!

[LalsConstant]

Having a terrible relationship with money sure won't make you happy.  I don't know if the whole FI mindset will but I can tell you being out of debt and actually accumulating net worth prevents you from being any unhappier than you are naturally inclined to be.

[Sofa King]

I am happy now but will be happier later in about 3 years when I will be DEBT FREE (including the house).  When that happens I will have the freedom I  have been working towards for a long time!!

[ace1224]

i'm happy now, i expect i will always be happy.  i'm a very glass half full type of person.  although i also think a part of it is i'm a really boring person and don't want to do a lot of things so it doesn't take a lot to make me happy. 

[charles_roberts]

I like this website and I applaud people who are putting their financial house in order.  I really enjoy reading about their accomplishments.  They are making themselves stronger and that is great.

I'm just worried that it may be another form of "When I accomplish X, I'll be happy."  X can be get a promotion,  lose weight, buy a house, buy a boat, get married, get divorced, qualify for a pension, retire, etc.

Happiness should be achievable under almost all circumstances.

Oh my, I couldn't agree more.
There's nothing better than seeing success stories, BUT there's a key to succeeding in life, and that's happiness at all times. You should know that you are happy now and that you will be happy in the future. Be grateful for all you have in life already, whether that's good health, wonderful family or anything. Remember that we are still some of the luckiest humans to be alive.

Keep posting and achieving great things, people!
But remember, at all times, KEEP SMILING :)

[Cinder]

I am enjoying the hell out of posting in this thread, and then I will enjoy drinking a glass of water.  I can already picture it, cool, and refreshing, and it will bring me just as much pleasure as typing these words.

If I didn't do it, okay, I'll get as much happiness out of whatever I am doing.

If you didn't get pleasure out of drinking the water, why would you do it?

I've always felt this way, and have trouble describing it to people.  When I was in high school, I never 'hated' anyone or anything.  I always thought of myself as a Stoic in the philosophical sense (and enjoyed MMM's article on Stoicism and also his Optimism gun) . 

I don't naturally tend to Arebelspy's perpetual state of effervescence.

I don't tend to it naturally either.  But now I can't imagine living any other way.

I'm just worried that it may be another form of "When I accomplish X, I'll be happy."  X can be get a promotion,  lose weight, buy a house, buy a boat, get married, get divorced, qualify for a pension, retire, etc.

My therapist called this "deferred living," and apparently it is a massively huge problem amongst his clients. The research shows it's bubkis, though-- there's a famous study that looks at spine accident victims and lotto winners. Immediately after becoming disabled by the accident, the victims are, obviously, quite unhappy with their state; the lotto winners are very happy to have won. Come back a year or two later, though, and the majority of the accident victims have come to terms with their disability and are back at the baseline level of happiness and life-satisfaction they had before the accident. Contrariwise, the lotto winners are just as miserable (or happy) as they ever were after getting used to all the shiny new stuff (or FIRE, whatever the case may be).

So if you're happy now, you'll probably continue to be happy. If you're NOT happy now, unless circumstances are truly, truly awful, then you're going to have to find what in yourself causes that unhappiness, and change it. Otherwise not even the biggest moustache in the world can save you.

How to change your baseline? My therapist recommends cognitive behavioural therapy, but it's basically reinvented Stoicism, near as I can tell. Judging by areblespy's joyous visualization of a glass of water, I suspect he's read the Stoics, too.

This, so much this.  With my basic view of the world (even in pain and anguish, there is beauty, perfection, and happiness), I broke my neck on my way to take the SAT's my seinor year.  People were always wondering how I was so .... not phased by it.  I had a momentary feeling of 'oh man, my neck is broke!' but within a week I was back to my standard baseline of happiness/contentment with the world.  It BAFFLED people. 

[aclarridge]

I will be just as happy working at my job, traveling around the world, sweeping the floor, or eating a burger.

I call bullshit on this. It's a pretty sorry burger that doesn't exceed the happiness induced by sweeping the floor.

Joking aside though, I think maybe your definition of happiness differs from most people. I know I have different levels of happiness and the way that situations make me feel helps me to decide what to do in life. It certainly sounds like you're enjoying life though (the ultimate measure of wisdom/achievement when averaged over a lifetime in my opinion) so good for you.

[pom]

I am currently really happy with my life. The idea of living frugally is that almost nothing that I buy makes me happier so for me it is not a real struggle to forgo consumption (ok here and there I wish I had a car ... or a yacht or even a private plane but when I think of the maintenance and all that stuff and time drain that goes with it: No Thanks!)

So the reason that I like accumulating wealth is that it makes me in a stronger position to get my basic needs filled. It also marginally increases my happiness by knowing that I can easily sustain it.