Engagement Ring & Credit Card

[ThatPhillyDude]

I would like some advice.  I want to buy an engagement ring with the money I have saved (while engagement rings are not Mustachian, the methods that I used the to save for it are.)  I have $6,000 set aside specifically for this purpose (I started budgeting for this 18 months ago.  It's not affecting other areas of my life.  It's money that does not exist in my mind).  I figure that instead using cash, I could open up a credit card and reap some rewards and then pay it off immediately.  I have already visited your credit card rewards page, but I just wanted some input on my specific situation.  I was wondering if there were any companies that gave out big incentives for, say, spending $5,000 in the first 3 months or something like that.  I also already have an AMEX card and a Visa card  and I don't want this decision to affect my credit rating (we plan on buying a house once engaged.) Let me know what you think.

[CheapskateWife]

Hey PhillyDude...

If I were your girl, and knew that you had $6K put aside for my ring, I would think that was a lovely gesture and then make you put that right back in your pocketbook and save for big downpayment on that house.  Are you sure the big honkin ring is what she wants?  Not all of us do, you know...have you asked her (Don't go on with that garbage about its not romantic blah, blah...you are building a life together!  Talk about it first!)

If she does want said big honkin ring, is it possible that she is not mustachian at best or even anti-mustachian and this might create some problems for you to in view of having very different goals  in life (I am assuming that if you are posting here, you are very Mustachian).  The whole engagement ring expectation is an interesting way to look at a potential partner and a predictor of future behaviors/expectations.   This may not be the only very expensive frivolity she expects you to provide. 

OK, I'm going to stop being an a-hole now....

Back to your question, one more modest limit card that gets paid off right away is not going to impact your credit limit very much,; if the cards you already possess have age on them.  When it comes to that mortgage, they are going to look at your total available credit, and then how much you are using it.  If there is no balance for a month or two before you apply for the card, I would think you should be OK credit score wise. 

[SDREMNGR]

The best one that I know of is Chase Sapphire Preferred.  Make sure its the Preferred.  I got $400 back plus some.  The requirement is $3000 in purchases within first 3 months.  So if you only bought that one purchase, you'd get $460 back.  No fee for first year.  After 3 months are up and you convert the points to money back or whatever you want to, you can change the card into a regular Chase Sapphire and you won't get charged the annual fee later and you don't get dinged for closing a card.

Then my wife (gf at the time) opened up one too and did the same thing.

Heck, really game the system and see if you can get the purchase on a "payment plan of sorts and pay $3000 up front and the other $3000 on her card after you propose and she says yes and you tell her your scheme and she agrees to open a card and then you can get $860 back for that purchase.  If she says yes to the scheme, then you know you've got yourself a Mustachian fiance.  And if not... well it's up to you whether you want to marry her anyways.

As someone who also bought a fancy diamond engagement ring... damn you de Beers, social pressure, and women who look down on men who don't give fancy rings, and my giving in to it all!!!  My wife really did love that ring and what it symbolized to her.  That someone would think that she was worth buying such a ring.  But now, she is very much considering selling the ring back and getting the money and investing it instead.  That's a Mustacian wife for you.

[RetiredAt63]

Are guys buying these rings and then proposing?  My DH proposed, I said yes, and then we went ring shopping.   We were just finishing our degrees and about to start grad school, so although we got 3 rings (my engagement and wedding ring, his wedding ring) we did not spend a lot of money (and yes it was a diamond, one lonely little diamond).  Since I would be doing lab work for school, and basically my working life, I knew I would not be wearing the engagement ring much, so neither of us saw much point in going crazy.   What mattered a lot more to us was finding rings we liked, not how big the diamond was.

So where are the fiancees in all this?  Aren't they involved in the choice? Both style and cost?  I sure would not have wanted him picking out a ring for me to wear that I had no say in re the style.

Rant over.  Gee I am turning into a cranky old lady (if i were a guy I would be a curmudgeon).

[Flying Penguin]

If you're going to get a mortgage soon, you may not want to open a new credit card. The credit check when you apply for a new card will temporarily decrease your FICO score (the effect will decrease over time and stop affecting your FICO score after a year, I believe). I think the standard advice is not to apply for new credit 6 months - 1 year before applying for a mortgage. (I used to be obsessed about maintaining/improving my credit score and getting credit card bonuses. The myFICO forum is a good resource for learning more about that stuff.)

[wtjbatman]

So where are the fiancees in all this?  Aren't they involved in the choice? Both style and cost?  I sure would not have wanted him picking out a ring for me to wear that I had no say in re the style.

My girlfriend has dropped plenty of hints/suggestions on both style and expected cost. So yes, she is involved in the choice. What guy would propose with ring in hand when he has no idea what kind of ring his fiance actually likes?

For the OP, to find the best CC with a large Spend X type of bonus, look at a site like http://www.bankrate.com

[kpd905]

If you can convince Chase to give you a business card, the Ink cards currently have a 60,000 point bonus for spending $5000, so you'd have $600 statement credit or $750+ toward travel.

[Kaminoge]

What guy would propose with ring in hand when he has no idea what kind of ring his fiance actually likes?

My brother apparently. His wife actually returned the ring and got something much smaller and cheaper. They are two of the most anti-mustachian people I know so it wasn't in a bid to save money, she just didn't want a big flashy ring. Oh well, no idea if he was upset at the time (he said it was fine) but they've been married 15 years as of next week so I guess it all worked out.

[Jags4186]

If you buy your ring from blue nile you would get 6points/$ through chase, plus the 40k bonus on the sapphire preferred plus 7% dividend at the end of the year...you'd end up with $813 in statement credit or $1016 in travel credit.

If you also open up a united card to get the bonus  as well you could combine your points and pretty much fly anywhere in the world for free. Something to consider with a honeymoon approaching.

[nikki]

Totally don't know about your question RE: credit card, but AGGH!! AAAGHHHHHHHH! $6,000?!?!?!?!?

I'm BEGGING my fiance to not get me the $350 black diamond ring he's been looking at because it seems like a monumental waste of money. I'd prefer a black cubic zirconia ring that costs less than $100, please and thanks.

$6,000?!?!?

AAGGGGHHHHH!!!

[wtjbatman]

nikki's response is the reason that there's only one person on here I've told about my girlfriend's engagement ring (hi libraryjoy!), how much it's worth and how much it actually cost me. I spent less than ThatPhillyDude, but the ring has been appraised north of $10,000. Clearly neither amounts are very mustachian!

Hint for those who are willing to actually spend money on the ring. I found that the website I Do Now I Don't has some fantastic prices when comparing to Jewelry stores or other retailers. If your lady wants an actual diamond, you might find something there for significantly cheaper than retail.

[RetiredAt63]

To me hints are not being all that involved.  Going together to wherever you are thinking of buying the rings (that includes shopping online, by the way), and looking at them (plural, wedding rings as well) is being involved.  Plus when two people get married, their finances are joined as well (has been well discussed on the Forum) so it seems to me that both people should start thinking about joint expenses like an engagement ring.  $6000 available? How much to the ring, how much to student loans or the wedding or other planned expenditures.  The thread Divorce as a Weapon of Mass Financial Destruction has given lots of good examples of how disagreement on finances can be very bad for a marriage.

I wonder if we are back to advertising influencing how we think we should do things - I am thinking of the ad where the boy is under the girl's window, and he brings out a box from behind his back, and there is the ring.

Sorry, this is hijacking the thread a bit.  However, if a lot less is spent on the rings, it does affect the value of the new credit card, doesn't it?

By the way, I had my rings appraised as part of the financial settlement for my divorce (see, it does have implications) and even now their replacement value is a lot less than what you are planning to spend.  And I thought they were too fancy, way back then.

So where are the fiancees in all this?  Aren't they involved in the choice? Both style and cost?  I sure would not have wanted him picking out a ring for me to wear that I had no say in re the style.

My girlfriend has dropped plenty of hints/suggestions on both style and expected cost. So yes, she is involved in the choice. What guy would propose with ring in hand when he has no idea what kind of ring his fiance actually likes?

[wtjbatman]

To me hints are not being all that involved.  Going together to wherever you are thinking of buying the rings (that includes shopping online, by the way), and looking at them (plural, wedding rings as well) is being involved.

Then that's great for you. But in my case, with my girlfriend, I disagree. She has literally told me she wouldn't want to come pick out the exact ring she wanted, and would rather I chose something based off of previous hints and suggestions. I guess she actually trusts me to manage the proposal without her participating in every part of it.

[MrsPete]

1.  If you're going to make a big purchase, running it through a credit card so you can get "rewards" is smart; however, you shouldn't open an account for JUST this purchase.  Rather, choose a card that you'll want to use again in the future and open that card. 

2.  After 23 years of marriage, I still love my ring.  It's exactly what I would have chosen, if I had been involved in its purchase.  The point of a frugal life isn't to do without everything that isn't food, clothing or shelter -- it's to spend wisely.  With the exception of the months I was too pregnant /too fat to wear my rings, I've worn this ring every day for 23 years, and I've enjoyed it very much.  That's value for the dollar. 

[Anatidae V]

nikki's response is the reason that there's only one person on here I've told about my girlfriend's engagement ring (hi libraryjoy!), how much it's worth and how much it actually cost me. I spent less than ThatPhillyDude, but the ring has been appraised north of $10,000. Clearly neither amounts are very mustachian!

Hint for those who are willing to actually spend money on the ring. I found that the website I Do Now I Don't has some fantastic prices when comparing to Jewelry stores or other retailers. If your lady wants an actual diamond, you might find something there for significantly cheaper than retail.

+1 for library joy, she is great, and gave me ideas to discuss with my fiance-to-be. Not sure if I want to pick it together or have him surprise me/me surprise him, but as long as you and your intended are comfortable with the surprise factor and monetary outlay, I reckon you'll be fine :)

[ThatPhillyDude]

MrsPete SDREMNGR  Flying Penguin Jags4186,

Among others, I found your responses to be the most helpful.  Thanks for trying to answer the question and not being critical.  I appreciate it and will take it all into account.  Thanks!

[RetiredAt63]

Some like to be involved, some like the surprise - you said before she had hinted, so it could have been either. And of course how the proposal goes varies too, ours was pretty casual, no discussion beforehand like you to seem to have had.  What matters in the long run is that the two of you are on the same page.

To be on topic re the credit card, as others have said, if it fits into your overall financial plan, great.  If not, why bother?   Do the math, if it works, go for it.

Then that's great for you. But in my case, with my girlfriend, I disagree. She has literally told me she wouldn't want to come pick out the exact ring she wanted, and would rather I chose something based off of previous hints and suggestions. I guess she actually trusts me to manage the proposal without her participating in every part of it.

[frugalnacho]

After my wife and I talked about it we set a budget, then I gave her the cash to put into her bank account and her and her sister went ring shopping while I played video games.   Budget was set for $1200.   Even that amount took a lot of convincing from the wife for what I also consider a monumental waste of money.   She got the exact ring she wanted though. 

Maybe you can convince her to get a tattoo instead, it would be a lot cheaper.

I got my wedding ring tattooed on.   I know a guy that does great tattoo work so it was free to me, but even if you have to go pay for it I would think it's under $50.   I will never lose it, I will never have to worry about taking it off for work or any other activity, and I will never have to worry about breaking it.  As long as I don't get divorced I am all set.    Mrs. frugalnacho was not quite as frugal with her choice of ring, but we still only spent $1200 on her engagement/wedding ring.


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[unpolloloco]

If you buy your ring from blue nile you would get 6points/$ through chase, plus the 40k bonus on the sapphire preferred plus 7% dividend at the end of the year...you'd end up with $813 in statement credit or $1016 in travel credit.

If you also open up a united card to get the bonus  as well you could combine your points and pretty much fly anywhere in the world for free. Something to consider with a honeymoon approaching.

Or better yet, do this, but convert the $813 in statement credit to United miles (free conversion with sapphire preferred).  You'll probably be able to fund airfare for the two of you for your honeymoon if you choose travel dates well (at least anywhere in the western hemisphere).

[Elaine]

Hey! The logic of using a credit card seems to be sound, and it's super sweet that you saved so much for a ring. No judgments here on whether you go big rock or not, but I sold fine jewelry for quite a while and I've got to throw in my two cents. There's nothing wrong with your lady wanting a classic engagement ring. BUT, jewelry (yes, even diamonds) has a terrible resale value. So, consider this. You could spend 6k on a new ring, OR you could spend 3k on an estate ring that is equal (in terms of ccc- that's cut, color, clarity). So then you could either bank that leftover 3k, or you could propose, and use that 3k toward your wedding/honeymoon! Many women, myself included, actually prefer vintage jewelry (art deco era has the most beautiful settings)- but if she wants that current solitaire tiffany look you can still definitely find that used for much less than 6k. Hope this helps, good luck!

[Cassie]

My ring was expensive but I wear it everyday & love it!  Pawn shops are a great way to get a beautiful ring cheaper and then have it sized to fit her by a jeweler.

[RetiredAt63]

I just Googled "art deco diamond ring" and some gorgeous rings come up!

So, consider this. You could spend 6k on a new ring, OR you could spend 3k on an estate ring that is equal (in terms of ccc- that's cut, color, clarity).

[dragoncar]

So, consider this. You could spend 6k on a new ring, OR you could spend 3k on an estate ring that is equal (in terms of ccc- that's cut, color, clarity).

You mean USED?  Ick!

[Apocalyptica602]

In the spirit of this thread I'll throw in my story.

My fiancee was looking at rings with me together, and I could tell she wanted a big rock. She's frugal in almost all other aspects but I can tell this is something she's always wanted.

She asked me for a price range I'd feel comfortable with, and I used context clues to come up with $7,500. (Hold your punches please) She seemed overjoyed (but certainly didn't ask me to lower it).

Since we talked so much about styles and types and price etc. I wanted to leave SOME surprise. So I splurged on a 1.01 carat rock of extremely high quality (not flawless, a jewler with a 20x loop might see one little thing but to the 10x or untrained eye its perfect).

It was $10,000.

Although between us, we gross a little over ~$200K a year and spend less than 50K/year combined. We drive cars that are between 8 and 14 years old, and spend less than $50K/year, maxing both our 401ks / IRAs and having tons of spillover into a taxable account.

Does that mean that a $10,000 piece of superheated supercompressed carbon is a smart purchase? Of course not. But despire what initial first impressions when people hear that I spent 10 grand on a engagement ring - it's not like my fiancee is a money-sucking hellhound who's going to divorce me if I don't spend 100% of my salary either.

I'm guilty of judging people for lavish purchases myself sometimes, and I need to continue to remind myself that unless I know their ENTIRE financial situation, I shouldn't assume I do.

[CarDude]

Personally, I didn't spend anywhere near 6k on my wife's ring, but if that's what you're doing and your finances can handle it, I'm not here to stop you.

Regarding the credit issue, I wouldn't recommend it. Going as far as opening a new card for rewards makes it sound like the ring is out of your budget.

[Jags4186]

Personally, I didn't spend anywhere near 6k on my wife's ring, but if that's what you're doing and your finances can handle it, I'm not here to stop you.

Regarding the credit issue, I wouldn't recommend it. Going as far as opening a new card for rewards makes it sound like the ring is out of your budget.

I'm a little surprised by this response. Take away the OPs affordability aspect. If you were buying central air for your house for 6k and you could through applying a few coupons get it for 5k, you're telling me you wouldn't do that regardless of how much you have?  1k is 1k whether you make 50k or 500k/yr.  Between opening up a credit card and buying through certain rewards portals you could save that much with about 5 minutes of extra effort and a few clicks of a button.

On a side note the Chase Sapphire Preferred is a MMM recommended card, and imo the best overall card you can get without making up a business.  If the OP plans on travelling at all it is well worth the $95/yr investment and an excellent rewards card.