Like others, I was struck by the way you describe your wife. It reeks of contempt and disrespect. This is a real problem.
Aside from that, I want to present a counter view than has been presented above, namely that the second can be much harder. I have three, and going from one to two was the hardest transition for me. But in my case, the first two were only two years apart. Having a gap might make it easier for you. And really no stranger on the internet can tell you whether it's going to be easier or harder. You won't know until you have a second child.
But the reality is that you don't want a second. I honestly don't know what to tell you. You are at an impasse, and based on the way you describe her, there is a lot of underlying resentment that will only be made worse if you have another child who you don't want. I just had my third four years after my second was born, and going back to diapers, sleepless nights, and all the demands of a newborn is no joke. It's a huge shock to the system. Bless my husband, who was the one who compromised when we had the third.
People say that you can't compromise on this issue, but how often do both partners want the exact same number of kids? I bet it is pretty rare. At some point, someone compromises. Many people think it should always be the one who wants more, but I'm not sure. I do think my husband sometimes feels some negative emotions about the whole thing (especially when we're up for the fourth time at night). He sort of blames me. I told him that's fine, as long as I get to conversely take credit when our third son ends up being a wonderful or successful person ;).
