Do you ever get "The Look"?

[Adventine]

I'm glad this old thread came back to life. I reread the whole thing from start to finish!

Me too! I'm curious if there are less bank stories now that so much is digital. I'm pretty sure I haven't deposited a check at the bank in person in over 8 years thanks to mobile deposit. And we never have cash anymore either.


Lately I've experienced multiple reactions to our cars (though in the opposite way of many prior posts in this thread). We always dress casual, don't put a lot of effort (and virtually no money) into yard care, most of our furniture is well over a decade old, and we live in a relatively humble house. But then you open the garage and the cars there cost about half of what we paid for the house. Usually the comments are positive, but it's pretty funny watching the double-take.

As you know from having actually seen our old reliable clunker of a car in person (we call our car El Pollo Negro), people give us the opposite kind of Look as they would you and Aura :D


I remember getting The Look recently. I was with @MustachioedPistachio (MP) at the local bike shop the other day, to test ride an Aventon e-bike that he'd been eyeing for a while.


We were dealing directly with the bike shop owner. We asked for a cash discount but didn't get it. We agreed to pay the retail price anyway because MP really wanted the bike. We drove off in El Pollo Negro, came back to the bike shop about 30 minutes later, and handed the full cash amount directly to the owner.


To his credit, he quickly masked The Look with a good poker face. After a minute or two clicking around his computer, he gave us a cash discount and delivered the bike to our house in his own truck later that afternoon (because it wouldn't fit in our sedan and we don't have a bike rack). Sweet, sweet satisfaction.

[nereo]

I'm glad this old thread came back to life. I reread the whole thing from start to finish!

Me too! I'm curious if there are less bank stories now that so much is digital. I'm pretty sure I haven't deposited a check at the bank in person in over 8 years thanks to mobile deposit. And we never have cash anymore either.

I have a four year old. Recently we had friends from overseas visit and when they left they gave us a small amount of cash they didn’t want to bother exchanging back into euros and we paid for the drinks. Daughter was fascinated by the “drawings” and we realized the kid had literally never seen paper money before. Covid + our largely cashless lifestyle.

[dragoncar]

We were dealing directly with the bike shop owner. We asked for a cash discount but didn't get it. We agreed to pay the retail price anyway because MP really wanted the bike. We drove off in El Pollo Negro, came back to the bike shop about 30 minutes later, and handed the full cash amount directly to the owner.

Why'd you still pay in cash if there was no discount?  Just trying to be "nice" to the owner?  I've given up trying to use cash -- some places where I know I'm dealing with a very small business owner I would ask if they prefer cash and they're like "we don't even take cash, we just have this square reader" so I guess the credit fee is no biggie compared to managing cash

[Adventine]

We were dealing directly with the bike shop owner. We asked for a cash discount but didn't get it. We agreed to pay the retail price anyway because MP really wanted the bike. We drove off in El Pollo Negro, came back to the bike shop about 30 minutes later, and handed the full cash amount directly to the owner.

Why'd you still pay in cash if there was no discount?  Just trying to be "nice" to the owner?  I've given up trying to use cash -- some places where I know I'm dealing with a very small business owner I would ask if they prefer cash and they're like "we don't even take cash, we just have this square reader" so I guess the credit fee is no biggie compared to managing cash

We wanted to support a small local business. Also, I personally had a hunch that he might still give us a discount once he saw the cash. I was right.

[nereo]

We were dealing directly with the bike shop owner. We asked for a cash discount but didn't get it. We agreed to pay the retail price anyway because MP really wanted the bike. We drove off in El Pollo Negro, came back to the bike shop about 30 minutes later, and handed the full cash amount directly to the owner.

Why'd you still pay in cash if there was no discount?  Just trying to be "nice" to the owner?  I've given up trying to use cash -- some places where I know I'm dealing with a very small business owner I would ask if they prefer cash and they're like "we don't even take cash, we just have this square reader" so I guess the credit fee is no biggie compared to managing cash

That’s largely where we’ve landed. As much as we hate paying the 2-3% ‘transaction fee’ for cards, the time savings made it a bargain compared to cash customers.  I remember from my LP training that ~50% of theft comes from employees. Either we had to dutifully enter cash transactions into our system, put the money in teh till, count it at the end of each day and deposit it in the bank or simply risk not knowing whether our inventory was correct and if someone was sticking their hand int he cookie jar.  And of course you definitely don’t want to be that business that has large sums of unmarked bills just sitting around.

I suspect many who prefer cash are doing so at least in part because they see it as ‘tax free’ and realize the real savings are in not paying taxes rather than saving 2.6% in square fees. Whatever your opinions are on the current tax code it’s against the law and frankly the liability for us to have unreported income was a risk we weren’t willing to take on.

[ysette9]

Quoting myself from another thread



I took up a very part-time job recently doing back office work for a little house cleaning company. So I'm closing out work orders, invoicing, processing payments, accounts receivable, and the like. It has been a very interesting look for me into the sausage making of a small business, and I have more sympathy for what it takes.

• Checks - Old-school pain in the butt. Why do we still have them? You have to line up who wrote the check with who the client is. When a child pays for a parent, or spouses have different last names it can be a right pain to keep track. One person wrote a check out to a completely different company name, but we still deposited it, no problem. How's that for bank security?
• Cash - Easier to handle, but keeping track of who gave how much to when and for what can get tricky. Thankfully we only get a very few customers paying in cash so it is ok.
• Credit card - by far the easiest, especially if the customer is on autopay, but there are extra fees charged that the business has to eat.
• Invoices - This is a pain. For each customer I have to look up their payment history to figure out if they normally pay by cash or check. If so, they don't get sent an invoice. Except for the ones who pay by check but also want an invoice. And the commercial customers don't get the standard invoices from the billing system but a special, manual invoice for their system. Some people only want an invoice every 2-3 services. Some people are so old they don't have email and need to be snail-mailed a paper invoice. Occasionally someone doesn't check their email and needs an invoice CCd to a spouse or an accountant. So for each name I have to check if they are on my list taped to the wall of the 319 exceptions to the usual business practice.

Sometimes I do stuff like forget to sent an invoice out to a customer until later. It seems like it should be easy, but once you get a half dozen variations on how customers want to pay, things slip through the cracks sometimes.

I can't speak for your accountant at all, but just thought I'd add a perspective from the other side.
[/quote]

In short, I was surprised what a pain cash is compared to how I had always thought of it. For anyone who needs to keep track of what was sold and to whom, cash sucks.

[Gremlin]

Master Gremlin has been a saver since he was young.  He's got an entrepreneurial streak as well as being very careful with money.  When he was 12 he asked us if we could invest his savings in the stock market (other than a little bit of 'play money').  This continued with pretty much all the income he got from a couple of part time jobs through high school. 

Earlier this year, at age 17, he moved away to go to University.  He knew that he would need a car, so he he sold down his shares and went to the dealership to negotiate buying a new car.  I went with him, as in my country, buying a car involves signing a contract and a minor (Under 18) can't legally enter a contract, so as his guardian I had to sign instead.

Conversation as follows:

Dealer: "So it must be nice to have Dad buy you a new car."
Master Gremlin:  "Dad isn't buying me anything.  I'm buying it with my money.  Dad's just here because I can't legally enter a contract til I'm 18.  It's my car, I'm paying for it, I want it in my name."
Dealer - suddenly disinterested:  "Oh, sorry.  We won't be able to sell it to you.  We can't do finance for anyone under 18."
Master G:  "I don't need finance.  I'm paying cash.  Now am I buying a new car from you, or do I need to go to another dealer up the road?"

*The Look*

[Missy B]

I was 20 and working for an oil and gas junior. They were doing a flow-through (cash raise) for shares and I put in for $12,500 worth. My immediate supervisor was shocked, which surprised me actually.
"Jeez, you have more money that me! How do you have so much money?" And I was like, I live at home...

And i didn't think it was that much. All the other staff were putting in 20-30K.

[wageslave23]

It's crazy to me what gets "looks" while reading through this thread.  It's just a step above, I pay my credit card off in full every month - the look. Or I'm setting money aside now for a major purchase I'm going to make in a few years - the look. Or I have a good credit score because I pay my bills on time - the look. Aside from a small percentage of the population who truly have been a victim of really bad luck that couldn't be avoided, it kind of disgusts me how irresponsible many "adults" are.  It's right up there with, I try to eat some vegetables everyday and exercise a couple times a week - the look.

[nereo]

Ooooh…. I got a new “the look” this week!  Actually two different “looks” in rapid succession.

We are several months into the design and permitting phase of a home renovation that involves some new foundation piers and modifications to the roof. At 900 sqft our home is among the smallest in the area (hence the renovation) and fairly average in curb appearance

This week I met with the structural engineer.  He parked his new massive $60k pickup behind my 2012 hatchback and started poking around.  Move on his pickup below…

Right away he started giving me “the look #1” - aka the “this is way out of your financial capabilities.  He was polite enough, starting with “this is a pretty big job” and then “digging proper footings is never cheap”.  To which I kinda laughed and said “yeah, I know”.  He became a bit frustrated that he wasn’t getting through to my poor ass that this was a project I clearly couldn’t afford, so he goes “you know you could buy a new car for what this might cost”.  I paused for a second thinking about how to respond and then I pointed to his truck and asked “like, the cost of your truck there?”

He chuckled and said “oh no, it won’t be that much - that’s a 2023 Chevy 2500 with a 6 liter V8. It sells for $60k new.  I only have  it because they offered me a great lease when i traded in my 2018.”  To which I responded “great, if it’s a lot less than that we’re good”.  That put him off balance.  As a last resort he asked “have you spoken to your bank about a construction loan, because most are charging over 7% if they’ll fund the project at all. Damn fed raising rates…”  My response: “no, we’ve got the cash.  Actually we want to start the project soon because we’re tired of it just sitting in our checking account earning 1.9% interest”

Which prompted “look #2” - aka “how can you possibly have that much money?”

[RWD]

He became a bit frustrated that he wasn’t getting through to my poor ass that this was a project I clearly couldn’t afford, so he goes “you know you could buy a new car for what this might cost”.  I paused for a second thinking about how to respond and then I pointed to his truck and asked “like, the cost of your truck there?”

Great response! It's amazing how people can't see the correlation between having cash and not owning expensive things.

[2sk22]

Although the bulk of our investments is in Fidelity, I do keep enough in Chase that I have a "private client" account - not that it means much in practice. Once a year I get a meeting with a Chase financial advisor who, I guess, is tasked with getting me to pull more money into Chase. He asked me about our net worth. When I told him (roughly) what it was, I got "the look" and he said that he had never heard such a high number before and asked if I had, perhaps, sold a business. I said - "No it's just from W2 income and 30 years of steady investment". He just shook his head in disbelief.

[nereo]

He became a bit frustrated that he wasn’t getting through to my poor ass that this was a project I clearly couldn’t afford, so he goes “you know you could buy a new car for what this might cost”.  I paused for a second thinking about how to respond and then I pointed to his truck and asked “like, the cost of your truck there?”

Great response! It's amazing how people can't see the correlation between having cash and not owning expensive things.

Early into adulthoood I remember reading a line from Morgan Housel that said something like “when most people say they want to be a millionaire what they really mean is they want to spend a million dollars.  Which is the fastest way to not be a millionaire anymore”.

[EscapeVelocity2020]

I used to get 'the look' for driving a Supra in my 20's (when I was supposed to be poor).  Now I get 'the look' for driving a Honda Fit to my fancy job parking next to all the Jags, Porsches, and Audis LOL...  You just can't win.

[RWD]

I used to get 'the look' for driving a Supra in my 20's (when I was supposed to be poor).  Now I get 'the look' for driving a Honda Fit to my fancy job parking next to all the Jags, Porsches, and Audis LOL...  You just can't win.

MKIV? The last Supra I had a decade ago is probably now worth about triple what I sold it for... It was a MKIII though so no one ever equated it to wealth.

[2sk22]

He became a bit frustrated that he wasn’t getting through to my poor ass that this was a project I clearly couldn’t afford, so he goes “you know you could buy a new car for what this might cost”.  I paused for a second thinking about how to respond and then I pointed to his truck and asked “like, the cost of your truck there?”

Great response! It's amazing how people can't see the correlation between having cash and not owning expensive things.

Early into adulthoood I remember reading a line from Morgan Housel that said something like “when most people say they want to be a millionaire what they really mean is they want to spend a million dollars.  Which is the fastest way to not be a millionaire anymore”.

Morgan Housel is a great writer! He has a useful summary of his book Psychology of Money in this blog post: https://collabfund.com/blog/the-psychology-of-money/

The relevant quote is:

If you see someone driving a $200,000 car, the only data point you have about their wealth is that they have $200,000 less than they did before they bought the car. Or they’re leasing the car, which truly offers no indication of wealth.

We tend to judge wealth by what we see. We can’t see people’s bank accounts or brokerage statements. So we rely on outward appearances to gauge financial success. Cars. Homes. Vacations. Instagram photos.

But this is America, and one of our cherished industries is helping people fake it until they make it.

Wealth, in fact, is what you don’t see. It’s the cars not purchased. The diamonds not bought. The renovations postponed, the clothes forgone and the first-class upgrade declined. It’s assets in the bank that haven’t yet been converted into the stuff you see.

[EscapeVelocity2020]

I used to get 'the look' for driving a Supra in my 20's (when I was supposed to be poor).  Now I get 'the look' for driving a Honda Fit to my fancy job parking next to all the Jags, Porsches, and Audis LOL...  You just can't win.

MKIV? The last Supra I had a decade ago is probably now worth about triple what I sold it for... It was a MKIII though so no one ever equated it to wealth.

Yup, MK4 Fast & Furious style, without the clothes drying rack on the tail...  bought it used and sold it for a profit after the movie, but definitely could've made more had I held.  Wasn't very practical once children arrived...

[Turtle]

He became a bit frustrated that he wasn’t getting through to my poor ass that this was a project I clearly couldn’t afford, so he goes “you know you could buy a new car for what this might cost”.  I paused for a second thinking about how to respond and then I pointed to his truck and asked “like, the cost of your truck there?”

Great response! It's amazing how people can't see the correlation between having cash and not owning expensive things.

Early into adulthoood I remember reading a line from Morgan Housel that said something like “when most people say they want to be a millionaire what they really mean is they want to spend a million dollars.  Which is the fastest way to not be a millionaire anymore”.

Morgan Housel is a great writer! He has a useful summary of his book Psychology of Money in this blog post: https://collabfund.com/blog/the-psychology-of-money/

The relevant quote is:

If you see someone driving a $200,000 car, the only data point you have about their wealth is that they have $200,000 less than they did before they bought the car. Or they’re leasing the car, which truly offers no indication of wealth.

We tend to judge wealth by what we see. We can’t see people’s bank accounts or brokerage statements. So we rely on outward appearances to gauge financial success. Cars. Homes. Vacations. Instagram photos.

But this is America, and one of our cherished industries is helping people fake it until they make it.

Wealth, in fact, is what you don’t see. It’s the cars not purchased. The diamonds not bought. The renovations postponed, the clothes forgone and the first-class upgrade declined. It’s assets in the bank that haven’t yet been converted into the stuff you see.

That is an excellent Quote.

[RWD]

I used to get 'the look' for driving a Supra in my 20's (when I was supposed to be poor).  Now I get 'the look' for driving a Honda Fit to my fancy job parking next to all the Jags, Porsches, and Audis LOL...  You just can't win.

MKIV? The last Supra I had a decade ago is probably now worth about triple what I sold it for... It was a MKIII though so no one ever equated it to wealth.

Yup, MK4 Fast & Furious style, without the clothes drying rack on the tail...  bought it used and sold it for a profit after the movie, but definitely could've made more had I held.  Wasn't very practical once children arrived...

Very nice. I always wanted a MKIV and figured I would be able to afford one once they depreciated a bit more. This was in the late 90s when you could get a nice used Turbo 6-speed for around $30k. Then that stupid movie came out and they were never affordable again...

[AMandM]

Early into adulthoood I remember reading a line from Morgan Housel that said something like “when most people say they want to be a millionaire what they really mean is they want to spend a million dollars.  Which is the fastest way to not be a millionaire anymore”.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GqxJQHG1IEg

[dragoncar]

Early into adulthoood I remember reading a line from Morgan Housel that said something like “when most people say they want to be a millionaire what they really mean is they want to spend a million dollars.  Which is the fastest way to not be a millionaire anymore”.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GqxJQHG1IEg

Why are live versions always the best?  Cause it costs… more!

[Morning Glory]

Early into adulthoood I remember reading a line from Morgan Housel that said something like “when most people say they want to be a millionaire what they really mean is they want to spend a million dollars.  Which is the fastest way to not be a millionaire anymore”.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GqxJQHG1IEg

Why are live versions always the best?  Cause it costs… more!

That song came out in 92. You would need almost 2.2 million for all that stuff today.
https://data.bls.gov/cgi-bin/cpicalc.pl?cost1=1000000&year1=199201&year2=202304

[Askel]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GqxJQHG1IEg

For years I've wanted an old panther body based limo to transport me and my friends to bicycle events (serviceable but tired examples routinely show up for ~$5k) . If/when we ever cross the $1000000 net worth threshold, I may actually do it and drive around playing this song. 

[ATtiny85]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GqxJQHG1IEg

For years I've wanted an old panther body based limo to transport me and my friends to bicycle events (serviceable but tired examples routinely show up for ~$5k) . If/when we ever cross the $1000000 net worth threshold, I may actually do it and drive around playing this song.

but not a real panther body, that's cruel

[Askel]

but not a real panther body, that's cruel

No, anything with a northstar engine is the cruel option. :D 

[GuitarStv]

The latest big one was just at the beginning of the pandemic when then BF (a scruffy Jason Mamoa-look-a-like laid back surfer dude with crazy hair and old flip flops and shorts - and me equally scruffy and wild looking lol)  sold his paid off house and moved into my place while I sold later. After that we started started looking for a new place together. I had gone car-less by then and he had an old truck. Each time we looked at houses and the realtor saw what we were driving and wearing they pretty much blew us off immediately. Then when we said we weren't employed and were planning on paying cash on some very expensive properties (Coastal SoCal) we both got "The Look".

I wonder if they thought you were drug dealers . . .

[nereo]

Early into adulthoood I remember reading a line from Morgan Housel that said something like “when most people say they want to be a millionaire what they really mean is they want to spend a million dollars.  Which is the fastest way to not be a millionaire anymore”.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GqxJQHG1IEg

Why are live versions always the best?  Cause it costs… more!

That song came out in 92. You would need almost 2.2 million for all that stuff today.
https://data.bls.gov/cgi-bin/cpicalc.pl?cost1=1000000&year1=199201&year2=202304

It's pretty easy to swap out "if I had a million dollars" with "If I had two million dollars" - adding the "two-point-two million" just messes up the cadence.

Maybe we should just inflation-proof it for a while and go straight to "if I had ten million dollars"...?

[Morning Glory]

Early into adulthoood I remember reading a line from Morgan Housel that said something like “when most people say they want to be a millionaire what they really mean is they want to spend a million dollars.  Which is the fastest way to not be a millionaire anymore”.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GqxJQHG1IEg

Why are live versions always the best?  Cause it costs… more!

That song came out in 92. You would need almost 2.2 million for all that stuff today.
https://data.bls.gov/cgi-bin/cpicalc.pl?cost1=1000000&year1=199201&year2=202304

It's pretty easy to swap out "if I had a million dollars" with "If I had two million dollars" - adding the "two-point-two million" just messes up the cadence.

Maybe we should just inflation-proof it for a while and go straight to "if I had ten million dollars"...?

Hmm, one trillion dollars could buy a lot of bling in 2006. It ballooned to something like 3 trillion by 2008 though.

https://youtu.be/YD3RNouwvOU

https://www.hks.harvard.edu/publications/true-cost-iraq-war-3-trillion-and-beyond

[JimDogRock]

Coworker: What makes you so sure?
Me: Math

I had a somewhat similar question answered by me with "I did the math."

Having just switched jobs and finally able to begin 401k contributions again I set the rate to deduct at something like 36%.
The payroll person that goes and sets that up I'm sure did the quick math to know that my salary at that contribution rate would blow past the yearly maximum (if it went through all 26 payment periods of a calendar year). They came up to me with their printout, pointed at the rate I entered, and asked "Did you mean to do this?"
I had started in the middle of the year, my contribution rate at the previous employer was intentionally lower because I it was easy for me to adjust that in between every paycheck (and I was choosing to ramp up contributions throughout the year and prior to known bonus checks), and there was of course the 2 month dead time between ending my previous employment and being able to enroll in the new company's retirement plan.
So, I just said that I had done the math to get myself to the yearly contribution limit. They said "Okay, if you're sure," and gave "The Look".

I sat near them so would overhear them going through some non-sensitive employee on-boarding items if people had questions.
A memorable one was around the topic of what to do with their old 401k. Here is how their conversation went.
PP: = Payroll Person
NEW: = New Employee

NEW: Oh, I already cashed out my old 401k.
PP: Okay, use it for anything fun?
NEW: Yeah, we used it for the down payment of a home improvement loan so we could put in a pool.
PP: That's great!
NEW:Plus, the market is down since then. So, I'm coming out way ahead!
PP: Good for you!

This is when I quietly gave "The Look".

[ATtiny85]

PP: = Payroll Person
NEW: = New Employee

NEW: Oh, I already cashed out my old 401k.
PP: Okay, use it for anything fun?
NEW: Yeah, we used it for the down payment of a home improvement loan so we could put in a pool.
PP: That's great!
NEW:Plus, the market is down since then. So, I'm coming out way ahead!
PP: Good for you!

This is when I quietly gave "The Look".

That is painful to read. I cringe whenever I hear someone talking about taking a 401k loan, but cashing out to dig a hole in the ground just hurts.

[Morning Glory]

PP: = Payroll Person
NEW: = New Employee

NEW: Oh, I already cashed out my old 401k.
PP: Okay, use it for anything fun?
NEW: Yeah, we used it for the down payment of a home improvement loan so we could put in a pool.
PP: That's great!
NEW:Plus, the market is down since then. So, I'm coming out way ahead!
PP: Good for you!

This is when I quietly gave "The Look".

That is painful to read. I cringe whenever I hear someone talking about taking a 401k loan, but cashing out to dig a hole in the ground just hurts.

To be fair it's in the HR person's interest to encourage this sort of behavior.  It's much easier to fuck over your employees if they can't afford to miss a paycheck.

[Ladychips]

It's much easier to fuck over your employees if they can't afford to miss a paycheck.

Truer words...

[Loren Ver]

PP: = Payroll Person
NEW: = New Employee

NEW: Oh, I already cashed out my old 401k.
PP: Okay, use it for anything fun?
NEW: Yeah, we used it for the down payment of a home improvement loan so we could put in a pool.
PP: That's great!
NEW:Plus, the market is down since then. So, I'm coming out way ahead!
PP: Good for you!

This is when I quietly gave "The Look".

That is painful to read. I cringe whenever I hear someone talking about taking a 401k loan, but cashing out to dig a hole in the ground just hurts.

Literally digging a hole to throw the money into.  Maybe they want to be an example for their kids.

[Exflyboy]

"Literally digging a hole to throw the money into.  Maybe they want to be an example for their kids."


seriously? I am appalled at such lack of gratitude!.. I mean, these people are stimulating the very economy we need so we can sit on our asses when FIRE'd.

Personally I LOVE spenders.. Sometimes I stand at the bottom of my driveway and applaud the sheeple as they drive past me in the SUV's and trucks on their way to that thing called "work"...

Some of them even tell me about their "freedoms" too..:)

[Miss Piggy]

Personally I LOVE spenders.. Sometimes I stand at the bottom of my driveway and applaud the sheeple as they drive past me in the SUV's and trucks on their way to that thing called "work"...

That was cold.

[Exflyboy]

Personally I LOVE spenders.. Sometimes I stand at the bottom of my driveway and applaud the sheeple as they drive past me in the SUV's and trucks on their way to that thing called "work"...

That was cold.

The good thing about this forum is you can say things you'd never repeat to the endebted masses..:)

[ATtiny85]

"Literally digging a hole to throw the money into.  Maybe they want to be an example for their kids."


seriously? I am appalled at such lack of gratitude!.. I mean, these people are stimulating the very economy we need so we can sit on our asses when FIRE'd.

Personally I LOVE spenders.. Sometimes I stand at the bottom of my driveway and applaud the sheeple as they drive past me in the SUV's and trucks on their way to that thing called "work"...

Some of them even tell me about their "freedoms" too..:)

Love it!

[Morning Glory]

"Literally digging a hole to throw the money into.  Maybe they want to be an example for their kids."


seriously? I am appalled at such lack of gratitude!.. I mean, these people are stimulating the very economy we need so we can sit on our asses when FIRE'd.

Personally I LOVE spenders.. Sometimes I stand at the bottom of my driveway and applaud the sheeple as they drive past me in the SUV's and trucks on their way to that thing called "work"...

Some of them even tell me about their "freedoms" too..:)

Love it!

I would prefer to breathe clean air, walk on surfaces that aren't paved, let my kids play in the street safely,  etc. They aren't just hurting themselves.

[AlanStache]

...
Literally digging a hole to throw the money into.  Maybe they want to be an example for their kids.

Years ago some FB friends simultaneously put in a pool and bought a RV that got parked next to the hole.  I posted in response asking if they were trying to create a money black hole vortex between the two cash sinks, they did think it was funny and sort of agreed.

[LaineyAZ]

I don't know if this counts, but my appearance must give off "poor" vibes - over the years I've had a few instances of acquaintances being surprised that I even had an average middle-class life: 
- many years ago when I went to buy my first house I attended a seminar/workshop for first-time homebuyers.  Immediately after walking in I was asked by one of the vendors if I was there to buy a mobile home.  Huh?  No, I'm buying a single family home by myself, thanks...

- I've now lived in a middle-class/upper middle-class neighborhood for many years.  My employer at the time was surprised I purchased a home here.  More recently when I was introduced to a distant family member who also used to live here, he asked if I lived in an apartment.  Nope, have my own home and have owned it for many years, thanks...

I think my clothes, shoes, car, etc. are average, not fancy but somehow my appearance is saying "just scraping by"?
It's sure another lesson in not judging people by first impressions.

[2sk22]

...
Literally digging a hole to throw the money into.  Maybe they want to be an example for their kids.

Years ago some FB friends simultaneously put in a pool and bought a RV that got parked next to the hole.  I posted in response asking if they were trying to create a money black hole vortex between the two cash sinks, they did think it was funny and sort of agreed.

Add a boat on a trailer behind the RV and you have the perfect combo of money singularities :-)

[Loren Ver]

...
Literally digging a hole to throw the money into.  Maybe they want to be an example for their kids.

Years ago some FB friends simultaneously put in a pool and bought a RV that got parked next to the hole.  I posted in response asking if they were trying to create a money black hole vortex between the two cash sinks, they did think it was funny and sort of agreed.

At least they have some self awareness, even if they choose not to act on it.  The sense of humor helps too.

[AlanStache]

This couple had some job loss misfortunes years before, and I suspect the toys (they could very well have a boat too) are some sort of "we had it hard before we deserve this now" ting, I dont know.  Nice people, wish them the best, but duck I dont want to think about how much effort they probably put into managing monthly cash flow.

It was not exactly a look but when I was buying my current place the realtor wanted proof I had the money for the cash offer I was making so I sent a screen shot of my brokerage account with a balance several factors more than was needed for the home.  Tone of her response changed a bit. 

[poxpower]

Get lot of "huh you're retired??" but then they aren't as impressed when they discover that means you won't match their lifestyle lol. Then it's just "you're cheap" or "Why don't you just buy an expensive new thing to fix your problem??".
Borderline "Why don't you just go back to work so you can spend more money? You have time since you're retired!"

lol

[Exflyboy]

It was not exactly a look but when I was buying my current place the realtor wanted proof I had the money for the cash offer I was making so I sent a screen shot of my brokerage account with a balance several factors more than was needed for the home.  Tone of her response changed a bit.

Nice!.. I bet it did..:)

[dragoncar]

It was not exactly a look but when I was buying my current place the realtor wanted proof I had the money for the cash offer I was making so I sent a screen shot of my brokerage account with a balance several factors more than was needed for the home.  Tone of her response changed a bit.

Nice!.. I bet it did..:)

This particular realtor might have had her own issues, but it is industry standard to offer proof of funds when making a cash offer.  It’s not unreasonable the buyer will want to know you can actually pay before they put their home in a lengthy contract, same as requesting a mortgage pre authorization .

[AlanStache]

It was not exactly a look but when I was buying my current place the realtor wanted proof I had the money for the cash offer I was making so I sent a screen shot of my brokerage account with a balance several factors more than was needed for the home.  Tone of her response changed a bit.

Nice!.. I bet it did..:)

This particular realtor might have had her own issues, but it is industry standard to offer proof of funds when making a cash offer.  It’s not unreasonable the buyer will want to know you can actually pay before they put their home in a lengthy contract, same as requesting a mortgage pre authorization .

I think it was the " several factors above the asking price" that caused "the look". Most likely the realtor thought they should use the full amount in their account for a down payment on the giant Mcmansion (or two!).  I've just seen the "look" myself.

100% it is appropriate to show proof of funds.  I had worked with her before and she had sold my single family home in middle of no where suburbia a few months before and I think fully understood I wanted to live somewhere for location and walkable amenities.  The area I wanted to go to had relatively little inventory and mostly in a narrow price range so was not really an option for her to even really push me to a higher price point.  We did look at a few things higher than I wanted spend just to calibrate my expectations, but they were in an area I ultimately decided I did not want to live in.  Fuller story in my Journal, link in my footer. 

[dragoncar]

Ah ok makes sense

[Just Joe]

Just started reading the thread and I'll go back to do that but wanted to throw this into the mix:

We got the "look" when some of our family realized we were not poor, we were frugal.

Old cars, well-worn clothes, making things last, buying used, quality over quantity, formerly LCOL zip code, repairing rather than replacing. Sure we could have shiny things but our ability to chase lasting choices would be diminished.

We're at that part of the train ride where the benefits of playing the long game is starting show. I dread any "cold shoulders" we might get from people close to us who didn't choose to play the long game and start to feel the consequences of their own choices for better or worse. We're not the most well off, nor the worst (by far). We're right where we wanted to be.

[Siebrie]

I get 'the Look' when I've told someone I can't afford an X when we were out windowshopping, but then buy a Y the next week. It's just that in my head the budget for X was empty (or there was no need for another X at that time), but I had been saving up for Y for quite some time.

For X read 'clothes', and for Y read 'specific piece of art'.