Author Topic: Do you ever get "The Look"?  (Read 60804 times)

Davnasty

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Re: Do you ever get "The Look"?
« Reply #100 on: September 11, 2017, 02:19:13 PM »
She also shared some hamburgers she had purchased from the McDonald's dollar menu. I'm thinking to myself that here I am, worth hundreds of thousands of dollars, making six figures, and taking handouts from a homeless women on a Greyhound bus because she pities me. Needless to say, I did not correct her assumptions.

What a jerk move to save a couple of bucks.  This person is homeless? and you are taking what could amount to her meal for a few days, when you are worth 6 figures and make that a year.  Wow, some people.

No, I read it as the person who was offering the meal was offering it to a mustachian who she incorrectly assumed was homeless.

That I agree with, but it says they were taking handouts from a homeless woman.  If that is the case it is a horrible thing to do in my opinion.  The poster should be giving to homeless, if anything, not taking from them

Yes, she offered it to me and insisted that I take it even when I indicated that I didn't need it. I think accepting her generosity was the best move to make in that situation. It would be impolite to reject her gift and even worse to explain to her exactly why I didn't need her help with food. Which by the way, she knew I had a bag of food I had brought with me for the trip and had been eating out of (Chef Boyardee, etc). I think she thought I was too broke to afford fast food and that was why I had been eating canned stuff the whole trip.
That makes more sense. And the fact that you were eating Chef Boyardee out of a can makes this story even funnier. I hope it was generic.

Herbert Derp

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Re: Do you ever get "The Look"?
« Reply #101 on: September 11, 2017, 02:37:41 PM »
That makes more sense. And the fact that you were eating Chef Boyardee out of a can makes this story even funnier. I hope it was generic.

Haha! Indeed, it was generic. It was some random brand that I had never heard of before, purchased from one of those discount grocery stores (think: ALDI) at about 50 cents per can. The only drawback was that unlike Chef Boyardee, the cans did not have those tab things on top to open them, so I had to use a can opener. I was careful to purchase exactly how much food I needed for the entire three-day trip (I think I had six cans of the stuff!), and of course I brought my can opener with me. Unfortunately, my can opener broke on the first day of the trip and I had to purchase another one from a gas station for about $2. Sadly, this "can opener" was the only thing they carried, and was not very ideal for opening cans as I soon learned. When we stopped for meal breaks, it would take me a good five minutes of fumbling with the can in order to get the top off, and even then it would have these annoying jagged edges.

So her seeing me painstakingly opening my cans of generic ravioli was probably also part of it.
« Last Edit: September 11, 2017, 02:44:21 PM by Herbert Derp »

Davnasty

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Re: Do you ever get "The Look"?
« Reply #102 on: September 11, 2017, 02:52:33 PM »
That makes more sense. And the fact that you were eating Chef Boyardee out of a can makes this story even funnier. I hope it was generic.

Haha! Indeed, it was generic. It was some random brand that I had never heard of before, purchased from one of those discount grocery stores (think: ALDI) at about 50 cents per can. The only drawback was that unlike Chef Boyardee, the cans did not have those tab things on top to open them, so I had to use a can opener. I was careful to purchase exactly how much food I needed for the entire three-day trip (I think I had six cans of the stuff!), and of course I brought my can opener with me. Unfortunately, my can opener broke on the first day of the trip and I had to purchase another one from a gas station for about $2. Sadly, this "can opener" was the only thing they carried, and was not very ideal for opening cans as I soon learned. When we stopped for meal breaks, it would take me a good five minutes of fumbling with the can in order to get the top off.

So her seeing me painstakingly opening my cans of generic ravioli was probably also part of it.
Some would say this is beyond frugal and bordering on cheap. I say it's hilarious and I could see myself doing that. One time I was on a school trip and we stopped somewhere for fast food. I walked to a grocery store and got a loaf of bread for $0.99. I even had leftovers!

Another time I offered a honey bun from my pocket to a homeless person who said he was very hungry but it was kinda smashed and he said "no thanks". I ate the honeybun.

RWD

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Re: Do you ever get "The Look"?
« Reply #103 on: September 11, 2017, 02:59:58 PM »
Got the look when I went to HR to request that 100% of my paycheck be put into a retirement account.  I don't want any of it taxed nor to have any of it hit my checking account.  They think I'm crazy...

Can you walk me through this one?  How can 100% of your paycheck not be taxed?

-Marley

It's not really possible. You pay FICA taxes regardless of how much you contribute to a retirement account (except for HSA). So assuming we're not talking about HSA contributions here, the maximum you could allocate to a retirement account should be 92.35% of gross. This does completely avoid federal and [probably?] state taxes though. There are additional complications if you have health insurance deductions and such from your paycheck.

Goldielocks

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Re: Do you ever get "The Look"?
« Reply #104 on: September 11, 2017, 03:08:23 PM »
I had the money to outright buy our most recent car, but they offered me 0% financing for four years vs 500$ off the purchase price for paying in cash.  I financed because it would have been silly not to.  :P
Also note that investment earnings are taxable, where upfront savings from the price reduction are taken at face value.
Great point!

So what kind of tax did you pay on your investment earnings over those 4 years?

GuitarStv didn't know what he was getting into with that post, but that's what happens when you talk to nerds

Oh,  I assumed that I was a student living at home, and paying zero tax.

:-)

afuera

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Re: Do you ever get "The Look"?
« Reply #105 on: September 11, 2017, 03:10:08 PM »
Recently I got my condo painted. I live in the HCOL Bay Area, and own a two-bedroom condo. I am a single woman Mustachian with no obvious signs of wealth, and I keep my bicycle in my living room.

The painter and I were talking about the job, and he said, "This place, you rent it, right?"

I said, "No, I own it."

His face scrunched up and he gave me "The Look" - as though he wanted to ask "How can that be? That does not fit into my understanding of reality, that a single, non-wealthy-appearing woman owns a very expensive piece of real estate."

I have gotten "The Look" at other times also. I usually get it when I mention that I own a condo, but I have also gotten it when I mention I am a computer programmer - somehow I do not fit into people's stereotypical vision of what a computer programmer looks like (i.e. young and male and high-salaried).

Does anyone else get "The Look"? I have a very low-key appearance and do not flaunt my wealth, educational, or career accomplishments in any way, which seems to lead strangers to conclude that I am not wealthy or successful.

Haha sounds like "the look" you get is better than the one I get!

"The look" I get is how a well dressed (non name brands), well kept, handsome and seemingly well-off young Caucasian man get's into a beat  up 1999 Toyota Corolla....

I would prefer the "look" you get from people! haha!
I just had to say goodbye to my '99 Corolla I've had since high school.  I'm gonna miss it so much!

AlanStache

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Re: Do you ever get "The Look"?
« Reply #106 on: September 11, 2017, 03:28:21 PM »
...
They mostly just assume I'm being kept by my husband, though, which is all the more annoying because it's actually the other way around.

This happens all the time with my sister.  She's very successful and whenever people get a small glimpse into her life, it's always "what does her husband do"?  It makes me furious!

Ex-gf had done very well for herself before I met her.  And I saw this look from sales dudes when she would get in a buying/decorating mood.  They would give me a "your cool with this?" look.  Ex-gf had ZERO situational awareness or ability to read people so I dont think she saw it but I know other people-(men) had more explicitly said or implied to her that she had done well in the divorce when in fact she had brought all the assets to the marriage and that bugged her a bit.

As far as me getting "The Look", not so much in the past bunch of years as some grey has come in around the side.  Regardless of what shirt I am wearing I think I have the look of a senior engineer with some casual confidence; so it is assumed I have the 5$k or whatever.  But I also hit most of the privilege check boxes so maybe it is not my swagger.

RyanAtTanagra

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Re: Do you ever get "The Look"?
« Reply #107 on: September 11, 2017, 03:48:49 PM »
Fun thread, and I loved the used car financing vs discount math discussion.  I hadn't even considered the need to immediately start withdrawing on the $12k invested and how much that would effect the total return, nor the tax implication to boot.

I get the look every few months, as my roommate pays me his share of rent in cash.  I have a credit union account than I only keep for depositing this cash (my actual bank is etrade, so no branches), and I hold some savings in it to avoid fees.  Every few months when I have enough to bother with I'll take a stack of cash, deposit it, then immediately transfer it back out to my investment account.  I usually go Saturday mornings and I'm dressed in cargo pants, tshirt, and motorcycle gear.  Every time I hand it to them they go 'that's a lot of cash...' *suspicious look*.  This next trip is going to be $5500 cash, biggest yet, looking forward to the reaction.

TrMama

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Re: Do you ever get "The Look"?
« Reply #108 on: September 11, 2017, 03:56:37 PM »
I get it occasionally when I tell people I'm 52. I like that "look" (I figure sooner or later Father Time will catch up to me and I won't get in anymore).

When they ask what my secret is I tell them without hesitation -- "no kids."  ;-)

LOL. I keep reading these posts from people who look younger than they are and also don't have kids and wondering, "You guys know these two facts are closely linked, right?"

Signed,

The lady who hasn't been mistaken for being younger than she is since simultaneously becoming pregnant with her first child and getting gray hair at the ripe old age of 26.

mm1970

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Re: Do you ever get "The Look"?
« Reply #109 on: September 11, 2017, 04:08:01 PM »
I'm not sure how much I get "the look". 

I used to get the "bad look" when I brought my lunch every day.  6 years of no raises at our company fixed that.  Lots of people bring lunch now.
I occasionally get the "you deserve a newer car" look at work.  But my current car runs, and it's by no means the oldest car in the lot (it's a 2006).

I sometimes get "the look" when I donate money to the school, because we probably write the biggest check.  Sometimes one other family will be the same amount.  I don't know if the principal thinks I'm loaded or what.  But ya know how a lot of other people go on nice vacations, go to concerts, have nice cars and stuff?  I don't really do that.

I think a lot of single women get "looks" when they buy houses and such.  Because, you know, you need a man - why would you buy a place?  Shouldn't you get married first?

GreenSheep

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Re: Do you ever get "The Look"?
« Reply #110 on: September 11, 2017, 04:37:24 PM »
I think a lot of single women get "looks" when they buy houses and such.  Because, you know, you need a man - why would you buy a place?  Shouldn't you get married first?

Yes, people who came to do various things to my house (electrician, etc.) when I was single always seemed like they didn't know how to talk to a single female homeowner. And I have to admit, now that I'm married, it's just easier to have my husband deal with the propane delivery guy, the termite inspector, etc. I suppose I'm contributing to perpetuating the "women don't deal with these things" myth out of a desire to avoid the awkwardness.

Secretly Saving

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Re: Do you ever get "The Look"?
« Reply #111 on: September 11, 2017, 07:22:33 PM »
Got the look when I went to HR to request that 100% of my paycheck be put into a retirement account.  I don't want any of it taxed nor to have any of it hit my checking account.  They think I'm crazy...

Can you walk me through this one?  How can 100% of your paycheck not be taxed?

-Marley

It's not really possible. You pay FICA taxes regardless of how much you contribute to a retirement account (except for HSA). So assuming we're not talking about HSA contributions here, the maximum you could allocate to a retirement account should be 92.35% of gross. This does completely avoid federal and [probably?] state taxes though. There are additional complications if you have health insurance deductions and such from your paycheck.

Yes, this. I was talking about federal and state.  I am not taking any of it home.  It all goes into tax deferred.  Obviously the prerequisites that can't be avoided are taken out.  But 100% of what would be "take home" is sent straight over to a retirement account.

Zamboni

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Re: Do you ever get "The Look"?
« Reply #112 on: September 11, 2017, 09:30:57 PM »
I get the look every few months, as my roommate pays me his share of rent in cash.  I have a credit union account than I only keep for depositing this cash (my actual bank is etrade, so no branches), and I hold some savings in it to avoid fees.  Every few months when I have enough to bother with I'll take a stack of cash, deposit it, then immediately transfer it back out to my investment account.  I usually go Saturday mornings and I'm dressed in cargo pants, tshirt, and motorcycle gear.  Every time I hand it to them they go 'that's a lot of cash...' *suspicious look*.  This next trip is going to be $5500 cash, biggest yet, looking forward to the reaction.

Just in case you don't know already: eventually a cash deposit will either be large enough that the bank personnel are mandated by law to fill out a report form for the IRS, or, even if you stay under the cap, they can flag you to the IRS anyway if they feel like it for "structuring" cash deposits to avoid triggering a report. Basically you do not want to garner any bank or IRS attention for making cash deposits, even though the funds are legally obtained and even though you are planning to pay all of the tax you owe on this income. There was a time just in the past few years when the IRS routinely seized and held huge sums of money from folks in the name of "something here could be illegal, so we're going to seize all of your money and hold it for years until it is all sorted out by us (if we get around to it.)" The IRS came under a lot of fire for that because they did it to people like restaurant owners who just happened to have a lot of legit cash from their businesses, so as far as I know they have mostly stopped, but it could start up again any time.

Please note that if they decide to start tracking your cash deposits, you only have to deposit $10K IN AN ENTIRE YEAR for it to count as reportable. I've put the link below.

You would be wiser to either use the cash from your roommate directly as your "walk around spending money" or make the small deposits regularly as you receive the money so that you are not raising their eyebrows at the bank . . . ever.

From the IRS reporting regulation (https://www.irs.gov/publications/p1544/ar02.html)

"Over $10,000,

Received as:

One lump sum of over $10,000,

Installment payments that cause the total cash received within 1 year of the initial payment to total more than $10,000, or

Other previously unreportable payments that cause the total cash received within a 12-month period to total more than $10,000"


expatartist

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Re: Do you ever get "The Look"?
« Reply #113 on: September 11, 2017, 10:25:10 PM »
That look: every time I mention that I live in a 150 square foot subdivided flat in one of the poorer parts of Hong Kong - notorious among locals for its large population of immigrants (vs 'expats' - ie white people, which you find more on HK Island). Since I'm immigrating to HK, I feel the neighborhood's a natural fit ;)

Though I could easily afford a flat three times as large (and twice as expensive), the current place hits the sweet spot financially and aesthetically, even if it means my little secondhand fridge is set on top of the secondhand washer/dryer unit, pretty typical in local Hong Kong decor.

Marley09

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Re: Do you ever get "The Look"?
« Reply #114 on: September 12, 2017, 07:19:32 AM »
Got the look when I went to HR to request that 100% of my paycheck be put into a retirement account.  I don't want any of it taxed nor to have any of it hit my checking account.  They think I'm crazy...

Can you walk me through this one?  How can 100% of your paycheck not be taxed?

-Marley

It's not really possible. You pay FICA taxes regardless of how much you contribute to a retirement account (except for HSA). So assuming we're not talking about HSA contributions here, the maximum you could allocate to a retirement account should be 92.35% of gross. This does completely avoid federal and [probably?] state taxes though. There are additional complications if you have health insurance deductions and such from your paycheck.

Yes, this. I was talking about federal and state.  I am not taking any of it home.  It all goes into tax deferred.  Obviously the prerequisites that can't be avoided are taken out.  But 100% of what would be "take home" is sent straight over to a retirement account.

Did you feel THAT? - I just gave you "the look" through this tread ;)  mad props...now I am off to do some research on this!

slappy

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Re: Do you ever get "The Look"?
« Reply #115 on: September 12, 2017, 07:27:47 AM »
I get the look every few months, as my roommate pays me his share of rent in cash.  I have a credit union account than I only keep for depositing this cash (my actual bank is etrade, so no branches), and I hold some savings in it to avoid fees.  Every few months when I have enough to bother with I'll take a stack of cash, deposit it, then immediately transfer it back out to my investment account.  I usually go Saturday mornings and I'm dressed in cargo pants, tshirt, and motorcycle gear.  Every time I hand it to them they go 'that's a lot of cash...' *suspicious look*.  This next trip is going to be $5500 cash, biggest yet, looking forward to the reaction.

Just in case you don't know already: eventually a cash deposit will either be large enough that the bank personnel are mandated by law to fill out a report form for the IRS, or, even if you stay under the cap, they can flag you to the IRS anyway if they feel like it for "structuring" cash deposits to avoid triggering a report. Basically you do not want to garner any bank or IRS attention for making cash deposits, even though the funds are legally obtained and even though you are planning to pay all of the tax you owe on this income. There was a time just in the past few years when the IRS routinely seized and held huge sums of money from folks in the name of "something here could be illegal, so we're going to seize all of your money and hold it for years until it is all sorted out by us (if we get around to it.)" The IRS came under a lot of fire for that because they did it to people like restaurant owners who just happened to have a lot of legit cash from their businesses, so as far as I know they have mostly stopped, but it could start up again any time.

Please note that if they decide to start tracking your cash deposits, you only have to deposit $10K IN AN ENTIRE YEAR for it to count as reportable. I've put the link below.

You would be wiser to either use the cash from your roommate directly as your "walk around spending money" or make the small deposits regularly as you receive the money so that you are not raising their eyebrows at the bank . . . ever.

From the IRS reporting regulation (https://www.irs.gov/publications/p1544/ar02.html)

"Over $10,000,

Received as:

One lump sum of over $10,000,

Installment payments that cause the total cash received within 1 year of the initial payment to total more than $10,000, or

Other previously unreportable payments that cause the total cash received within a 12-month period to total more than $10,000"

It might be worth mentioning to the tellers that it is rent money being deposited, so they aren't suspicious.

Indexer

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Re: Do you ever get "The Look"?
« Reply #116 on: September 12, 2017, 08:24:11 AM »
I get the look every few months, as my roommate pays me his share of rent in cash.  I have a credit union account than I only keep for depositing this cash (my actual bank is etrade, so no branches), and I hold some savings in it to avoid fees.  Every few months when I have enough to bother with I'll take a stack of cash, deposit it, then immediately transfer it back out to my investment account.  I usually go Saturday mornings and I'm dressed in cargo pants, tshirt, and motorcycle gear.  Every time I hand it to them they go 'that's a lot of cash...' *suspicious look*.  This next trip is going to be $5500 cash, biggest yet, looking forward to the reaction.

Just in case you don't know already: eventually a cash deposit will either be large enough that the bank personnel are mandated by law to fill out a report form for the IRS, or, even if you stay under the cap, they can flag you to the IRS anyway if they feel like it for "structuring" cash deposits to avoid triggering a report. Basically you do not want to garner any bank or IRS attention for making cash deposits, even though the funds are legally obtained and even though you are planning to pay all of the tax you owe on this income. There was a time just in the past few years when the IRS routinely seized and held huge sums of money from folks in the name of "something here could be illegal, so we're going to seize all of your money and hold it for years until it is all sorted out by us (if we get around to it.)" The IRS came under a lot of fire for that because they did it to people like restaurant owners who just happened to have a lot of legit cash from their businesses, so as far as I know they have mostly stopped, but it could start up again any time.

Please note that if they decide to start tracking your cash deposits, you only have to deposit $10K IN AN ENTIRE YEAR for it to count as reportable. I've put the link below.

You would be wiser to either use the cash from your roommate directly as your "walk around spending money" or make the small deposits regularly as you receive the money so that you are not raising their eyebrows at the bank . . . ever.

From the IRS reporting regulation (https://www.irs.gov/publications/p1544/ar02.html)

"Over $10,000,

Received as:

One lump sum of over $10,000,

Installment payments that cause the total cash received within 1 year of the initial payment to total more than $10,000, or

Other previously unreportable payments that cause the total cash received within a 12-month period to total more than $10,000"

Let me put some fears to rest. I use to work at a bank. I can confirm that a $10,000.01 cash lump sum will trigger a CTR. It's a form the teller fills out when you make the deposit or withdrawal. I was a banker, not a teller, but I did have to fill one out once. It is pretty painless. The form itself doesn't raise any eyebrows, it happens, no biggie. We had a few clients with cash heavy businesses who had to fill it out every week. They didn't have any problems. When it will raise eyebrows is if your tax forms at the end of the year show something very different. A restaurant reporting $5,000 in cash sales on their tax forms, but then $100,000 in reportable cash deposits at the bank is asking for an audit.

RyanAtTanagra is probably fine based on what has been said. No one cares that he deposits a few thousand every few months. The teller is probably commenting on it to try to start a conversation. They are trained to try and start conversations with people, and learn more about you so that they can position other products of the bank. "This is a lot of cash," will normally lead to, "Why don't you have a savings account?" "Oh, your savings is at E-trade, nevermind." If she is actually suspicious of him making those deposits then that is very odd. People make large cash deposits at banks, and on a Saturday everyone dresses casual.

If your various transactions throughout the year put you over $10,000, no one notices or cares. I have never seen or heard of this happening. Installment payments refers to someone giving you exactly X amount on X day of each month, and that equaling more than $10,000. Example: you sell a car/house/business and the buyer is making cash installment payments. The IRS wants to know about that because all the installments add up to one initial transaction that was greater than $10k, but that is really for you to self report. The bank isn't reporting that unless you do something suspicious to raise red flags. Depositing a few thousand every few months isn't suspicious.

Trying to structure your transactions to avoid filling out the form will get you significantly more unwanted attention than if you deposited more than $10k and completed the form. I'll wager the businesses who had their money frozen were trying to structure their transactions to avoid the $10k threshold, OR they weren't reporting their full cash sales on their taxes. From the bank & IRS's point of view structuring transactions to avoid the $10k threshold looks very similar to structuring money for money laundering purposes.  Regular transactions for $9,900 for instance will raise red flags. The craziest case I heard of was a guy making large cash deposits at multiple banks everyday. Note, these weren't branches of the same bank, they were separate banks. Example: Bank of America and Wells Fargo. How did he get flagged? One of the tellers at bank A that he normally dealt with quit to take a job at Bank B. She quickly realized the regular deposits were more than $10k a day...

EDIT: @RyanAtTanagra: Motorcycle gear? When do you take your helmet off? Someone walking into, or even approaching a bank with their face hidden will automatically raise the blood pressure of every teller. ;-)
« Last Edit: September 12, 2017, 08:33:54 AM by Indexer »

PizzaSteve

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Re: Do you ever get "The Look"?
« Reply #117 on: September 12, 2017, 08:39:22 AM »
I've gotten "the look" so many times, I almost don't notice anymore.

Female, started programming in Jr. High.  Work in male dominated field (former electrician, now a related but different field).  Got pregnant in high school (then got married shortly after).  Bought house young (I was 19, then husband was 20, money came from what I earned as a kid delivering the newspaper, through jobs in high school).  Ex left when I was 22.  Bought current house when I was 26(?)  Sent my son to a private school, where I was only one of two single moms (the other's parents were paying for her kid to go there) and one of very few working moms.  Many of those families struggled to pay the tuition, while I was asking if I could get a discount for paying it in one lump sum at the beginning of the year.

Put myself through an associates degree while working 30+ hours a week.  Through it all, I have been a saver, lived frugally, etc, etc.  I've even gone on some amazing vacations (including several trips to Europe, the most recent was for 5 weeks).  People are shocked when they find out I have always paid a credit card balance in full (except when I had one with 0% interest, then I would just pay it in full before the interest kicked in.)

I look young, my son looks old, so I get some really confused looks when he is with me.

I also do a lot of my own repairs.  The guy at the nearby hardware store has pretty much stopped questioning me when I need some parts/tools, and will just help me find them.  I still threw him though when we found that a tool I wanted didn't exist (or at least, he'd never heard of one and they didn't have any), and I made the comment "looks like I'll have to make it myself."
Let me just say that you are a hero and deserve a medal for being the kind of person that makes our world a better place.  If i were single, I might be trying to meet you for a cup of (reasonably priced) coffee.  Kudos.

RWD

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Re: Do you ever get "The Look"?
« Reply #118 on: September 12, 2017, 09:24:04 AM »
I'll wager the businesses who had their money frozen were trying to structure their transactions to avoid the $10k threshold, OR they weren't reporting their full cash sales on their taxes.

I recall hearing that some businesses had an insurance policy that only protected $10k cash on hand so they would deposit cash whenever they got close to the limit. One such example is listed here: https://www.irsmedic.com/blog/2016/06/irs-structuring-laws.html.

TrMama

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Re: Do you ever get "The Look"?
« Reply #119 on: September 12, 2017, 09:52:39 AM »
I get it occasionally when I tell people I'm 52. I like that "look" (I figure sooner or later Father Time will catch up to me and I won't get in anymore).

When they ask what my secret is I tell them without hesitation -- "no kids."  ;-)

LOL. I keep reading these posts from people who look younger than they are and also don't have kids and wondering, "You guys know these two facts are closely linked, right?"

Signed,

The lady who hasn't been mistaken for being younger than she is since simultaneously becoming pregnant with her first child and getting gray hair at the ripe old age of 26.
Ha ha. I think its because us kidless people get to spend our free time working out, playing, and sleeping instead. Or spending our money on Botox and face lifts instead of the kids (just kidding...maybe ;-)).

I think it's because you've never had to endure that other "look". This is the one passers by give you when your 10yo (who should know better by now) is having a  public meltdown, or when your 2 year old has somehow morphed into an octopus and is trying to escape the car while you attempt to simultaneously hold her down, buckle her into her carseat, and close the door without catching any of her tentacles fingers.

Not that any of those things have ever happened to me ;-)

RyanAtTanagra

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Re: Do you ever get "The Look"?
« Reply #120 on: September 12, 2017, 10:10:31 AM »
I get the look every few months, as my roommate pays me his share of rent in cash.  I have a credit union account than I only keep for depositing this cash (my actual bank is etrade, so no branches), and I hold some savings in it to avoid fees.  Every few months when I have enough to bother with I'll take a stack of cash, deposit it, then immediately transfer it back out to my investment account.  I usually go Saturday mornings and I'm dressed in cargo pants, tshirt, and motorcycle gear.  Every time I hand it to them they go 'that's a lot of cash...' *suspicious look*.  This next trip is going to be $5500 cash, biggest yet, looking forward to the reaction.

... good info ...


... more good info ...

EDIT: @RyanAtTanagra: Motorcycle gear? When do you take your helmet off? Someone walking into, or even approaching a bank with their face hidden will automatically raise the blood pressure of every teller. ;-)

Thanks both for the info!  I'm not too worried, I don't think I deposit enough, or often enough, to garner real attention.  There is way more money in this city than the minor sums I'm handling.

Indexer, I do take the helmet off before I walk into the bank.  I imagine that would get me a not-quite-friendly conversation with the security guard :-)


As an aside, has anyone ever gotten IRS attention, or heard of someone who's frugal getting attention because their savings didn't make sense with their reported income.  If someone has say a 80% savings rate, and the IRS looks at amounts invested vs amounts earned, since that kind of savings doesn't compute for most people, I can see that alone raising a red flag for 'there must me unreported income here'.

BlueHouse

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Re: Do you ever get "The Look"?
« Reply #121 on: September 12, 2017, 11:10:56 AM »
I get it occasionally when I tell people I'm 52. I like that "look" (I figure sooner or later Father Time will catch up to me and I won't get in anymore).

When they ask what my secret is I tell them without hesitation -- "no kids."  ;-)

LOL. I keep reading these posts from people who look younger than they are and also don't have kids and wondering, "You guys know these two facts are closely linked, right?"

Signed,

The lady who hasn't been mistaken for being younger than she is since simultaneously becoming pregnant with her first child and getting gray hair at the ripe old age of 26.
I had cousins visit me recently with their children.  the 9-year-old asked me very earnestly:  How do you keep your house so clean?  Without hesitation, I replied "No kids".  He looked a bit shocked, so I had to throw in "no pets.  And I have a cleaning lady".  But really, all I could think of was wishing cleaning day was the day after they left instead of the day before. 

Lookilu

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Re: Do you ever get "The Look"?
« Reply #122 on: September 12, 2017, 02:53:12 PM »
I think a lot of single women get "looks" when they buy houses and such.  Because, you know, you need a man - why would you buy a place?  Shouldn't you get married first?

Yes, people who came to do various things to my house (electrician, etc.) when I was single always seemed like they didn't know how to talk to a single female homeowner. And I have to admit, now that I'm married, it's just easier to have my husband deal with the propane delivery guy, the termite inspector, etc. I suppose I'm contributing to perpetuating the "women don't deal with these things" myth out of a desire to avoid the awkwardness.

Now that I have a DH, I always have him speak with any tradesmen to avoid the awkward. We talk about whatever is being done beforehand, then I say, "Now go off and speak Man to that guy so he'll get it." :)

GreenSheep

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Re: Do you ever get "The Look"?
« Reply #123 on: September 12, 2017, 04:09:35 PM »
I think a lot of single women get "looks" when they buy houses and such.  Because, you know, you need a man - why would you buy a place?  Shouldn't you get married first?

Yes, people who came to do various things to my house (electrician, etc.) when I was single always seemed like they didn't know how to talk to a single female homeowner. And I have to admit, now that I'm married, it's just easier to have my husband deal with the propane delivery guy, the termite inspector, etc. I suppose I'm contributing to perpetuating the "women don't deal with these things" myth out of a desire to avoid the awkwardness.

Now that I have a DH, I always have him speak with any tradesmen to avoid the awkward. We talk about whatever is being done beforehand, then I say, "Now go off and speak Man to that guy so he'll get it." :)

Haha, I use exactly the same phrase with my husband -- "speak Man." :-)

Fomerly known as something

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Re: Do you ever get "The Look"?
« Reply #124 on: September 12, 2017, 04:25:36 PM »
I think a lot of single women get "looks" when they buy houses and such.  Because, you know, you need a man - why would you buy a place?  Shouldn't you get married first?

Yes, people who came to do various things to my house (electrician, etc.) when I was single always seemed like they didn't know how to talk to a single female homeowner. And I have to admit, now that I'm married, it's just easier to have my husband deal with the propane delivery guy, the termite inspector, etc. I suppose I'm contributing to perpetuating the "women don't deal with these things" myth out of a desire to avoid the awkwardness.

Now that I have a DH, I always have him speak with any tradesmen to avoid the awkward. We talk about whatever is being done beforehand, then I say, "Now go off and speak Man to that guy so he'll get it." :)

Haha, I use exactly the same phrase with my husband -- "speak Man." :-)

On the other hand, I once had a male supervisor once tell me I needed to stop talking like a woman as guys don't want to speak to their wives at work.  I didn't make a big fuss because he honestly thought he was giving good career advice but I wanted to look down at my chest and say "Boss, um I am female you know"

SwordGuy

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Re: Do you ever get "The Look"?
« Reply #125 on: September 12, 2017, 06:42:02 PM »
The look followed by accusations and finally anger.  The worst time was when my husband and I paid cash for our house.  The title company didn't believe us and proceeded to ask us who gave us the cash and said "normally people come in bragging and I find out that grandpa loaned them the money."    See, people our age just don't have that kind of cash and apparently making a cash transaction is bragging.  Well, it was a depressed housing market and we took advantage of a property that was days before foreclosure.  Our offer was accepted over several higher offers because there was no time to deal with financing from the other potential buyers.  The bank jumped on the cash offer.  We got a DEAL on that house so that man can think I'm a liar all he wants.   

It's not the title company's damned business where you got the money.   

A bank who is loaning you money?  Sure.

A title company?   Tell them to f* off and ask to speak to their manager.
If they are the owner and there's no time to do business elsewhere, write a complaint to the various regulatory and professional agencies.

If there is a loan for the money, the title company does need to know because they are guaranteeing that there are no liens nor would there be any liens on the property.  A loan for the purchase of the property may in fact create a lien, or at least the possibility for a lean.  This is why banks will often interrogate you about where the cash comes from, especially if it is deposited within the last 6 months or so.  There are nice ways to do this and rude ways to do it, but both these folks are just doing their due diligence as it relates to the product or service they are providing.


Do you have a source for that info?

GetItRight

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Re: Do you ever get "The Look"?
« Reply #126 on: September 12, 2017, 08:07:49 PM »
"The look" I get is how a well dressed (non name brands), well kept, handsome and seemingly well-off young Caucasian man get's into a beat  up 1999 Toyota Corolla....

Replace 1999 Toyota with 35 year old rusty lifted pickup and that's me. I get a kick out of people's reactions when they see me pull up then watch me get out of the truck. Bonus points if I'm wearing a tie or make a relatively large cash purchase and they observe that too. It's amusing to see their heads spin.

talltexan

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Re: Do you ever get "The Look"?
« Reply #127 on: September 13, 2017, 07:12:43 AM »
My in-laws (early 60's) were asked to supply investment statements proving they could pay for their house in cash. Apparently no one does that anymore.

In my experience, this is a common request. I work with customers that request verification letters from me to supply proof that they have the assets to purchase the home.

Was there a problem with people showing up to Real Estate closings and saying, "Just Kidding! As if we had that kind of money..."?

slappy

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Re: Do you ever get "The Look"?
« Reply #128 on: September 13, 2017, 07:18:25 AM »
My in-laws (early 60's) were asked to supply investment statements proving they could pay for their house in cash. Apparently no one does that anymore.

In my experience, this is a common request. I work with customers that request verification letters from me to supply proof that they have the assets to purchase the home.

Was there a problem with people showing up to Real Estate closings and saying, "Just Kidding! As if we had that kind of money..."?

I think it usually happens in the beginning phases. If someone is selling their home, they want to make sure the person who is offering cash actually has the money. They don't want to get stuck waiting because the person had to sell some assets or some transfer didn't go through in time, etc.  F

Trudie

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Re: Do you ever get "The Look"?
« Reply #129 on: September 13, 2017, 07:23:32 AM »
Sure, I get it all the time -- particularly when people ask me if I have kids and I say "no."  Usually, it's a look of pity -- although I don't feel that way.

It's funny about other peoples' expectations.  We live in a 13-year-old home that's been regularly kept up, kept pretty clean, and we've never had kids or pets.  My college-aged nephew visited last spring and said, "You guys still have the same carpet?"  Sure we do.  After 13 years of light use there's no need to replace it.

GuitarStv

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Re: Do you ever get "The Look"?
« Reply #130 on: September 13, 2017, 07:46:26 AM »
Sure, I get it all the time -- particularly when people ask me if I have kids and I say "no."  Usually, it's a look of pity -- although I don't feel that way.

Don't mistake that heady mixture of envy, jealousy, rage, and sadness from us parents as pity.

pachnik

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Re: Do you ever get "The Look"?
« Reply #131 on: September 13, 2017, 11:09:13 AM »
I also get "the look" when I am dressed up purty in a pink dress and heels and all the girly stuff for a night out to a nice place (especially if meeting someone new) and I get in or out of my almost 20 year old beater truck. Its not a good look but still cracks me up.

Oh, I love this!  It reminds me of a woman i used to know who wore combat boots with a dress.   I think it is a pretty cool look.  :)

Kay-Ell

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Re: Do you ever get "The Look"?
« Reply #132 on: September 13, 2017, 11:30:08 AM »
There are two distinct looks, and both have been covered here.

One is the look when people realize you have money and they wouldn't have guessed it.   Love getting that one and it pops up when buying a car or when people talk about their car payments or mortgages. 

The other look is when they see you heating up leftovers or driving an old beater.   Sometimes that borders on contempt, eye rolling or sympathy depending on the situation.   Those make me smile and think "If only you knew...."
I think there's a third where they don't believe you or they think you must be a criminal to have that much money.

Or at trust fund baby.  My realtor asked me if I was a trust fund baby.  Umm... no!  I bought an extreme fixer upper on a tight budget.  And besides she saw all of my financial information.

JCfire

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Re: Do you ever get "The Look"?
« Reply #133 on: September 13, 2017, 02:34:05 PM »
I once got "the look" at the front door of my own house.  A solicitor came by trying to sell a quarterly pest control service or some other nonsense.  It was my first house that I owned myself, I had just bought it, and I was about 26 years old.  When I answered the door, the salesman asked me if my parents were home.  That was a proud moment for me.

ROF Expat

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Re: Do you ever get "The Look"?
« Reply #134 on: September 13, 2017, 03:29:18 PM »
"The Look" would be a step up for me.  I was digging up a flower bed on a hot day in my yard and the FEDEX guy thought I was the gardener.  He asked me if the owners were home...

CALL 911

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Re: Do you ever get "The Look"?
« Reply #135 on: September 13, 2017, 04:18:51 PM »


Was there a problem with people showing up to Real Estate closings and saying, "Just Kidding! As if we had that kind of money..."?
[/quote]

Literally happened to me, almost word for word. They lied to the bank regarding assets/income/debts. Bank somehow failed to notice (until 3 days to closing). When we asked if they could up their down payment, they asked what down payment? Apparently, they didn't think that anyone would actually require them to bring the down payment they promised. They used the down payment on a vacation (since they didn't need it for anything else, ya know, like buying a house.) That whole situation really sucked.


I get "the look" when I insist of fixing the worthless jalopy for the Nth time. I always figure: "would I buy this car for the $x it will take to fix?" So far, the answer has been "yes" everytime.

Gimesalot

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Re: Do you ever get "The Look"?
« Reply #136 on: September 13, 2017, 04:32:52 PM »
I get the look a lot but the best was this time...

A few years ago my cat got really sick and needed a lot of tests and what not.  I noticed that the vet had a 0% financing offer through Care Credit.  I asked the admin at the front desk for an application.  One of the questions asked the total household monthly income, which being a engineer, can be more than the yearly income of some folks.  When I took it back and turned it in, the admin told me that she needed my monthly income, I told her it was correct.  Then she stated that I couldn't use my husband's income, so I changed it and removed about 20%.  Then I got *the look*...

sparkytheop

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Re: Do you ever get "The Look"?
« Reply #137 on: September 13, 2017, 05:21:54 PM »
I also get "the look" when I am dressed up purty in a pink dress and heels and all the girly stuff for a night out to a nice place (especially if meeting someone new) and I get in or out of my almost 20 year old beater truck. Its not a good look but still cracks me up.

Oh, I love this!  It reminds me of a woman i used to know who wore combat boots with a dress.   I think it is a pretty cool look.  :)
I think women owning old trucks is probably pretty common in many rural areas but here in fancy pants metro LA/OC is pretty unusual. New SUVs and luxury sedans but not many trucks and very very rarely old beater trucks. Mine sadly died and I have a fancy rental vehicle now so fit in better with my fancy friends and area. But can't wait to get the truck up and running again as I do miss all the disdainful looks I get ;-). Well I'm moving to a place (ski town) where beater trucks are probably more "normal" so doubt I'll get the same looks. Fun while it lasted.

I admit, I always felt sexiest (and got the best "looks") when I was wearing a well fitting pair of jeans, fitted top, boots, and driving/getting out of my beater pickup with my happy-as-shit dog in the back.  Man, I miss that dog! (and the old jeans size...)

sparkytheop

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Re: Do you ever get "The Look"?
« Reply #138 on: September 13, 2017, 05:23:56 PM »
I've gotten "the look" so many times, I almost don't notice anymore.

Female, started programming in Jr. High.  Work in male dominated field (former electrician, now a related but different field).  Got pregnant in high school (then got married shortly after).  Bought house young (I was 19, then husband was 20, money came from what I earned as a kid delivering the newspaper, through jobs in high school).  Ex left when I was 22.  Bought current house when I was 26(?)  Sent my son to a private school, where I was only one of two single moms (the other's parents were paying for her kid to go there) and one of very few working moms.  Many of those families struggled to pay the tuition, while I was asking if I could get a discount for paying it in one lump sum at the beginning of the year.

Put myself through an associates degree while working 30+ hours a week.  Through it all, I have been a saver, lived frugally, etc, etc.  I've even gone on some amazing vacations (including several trips to Europe, the most recent was for 5 weeks).  People are shocked when they find out I have always paid a credit card balance in full (except when I had one with 0% interest, then I would just pay it in full before the interest kicked in.)

I look young, my son looks old, so I get some really confused looks when he is with me.

I also do a lot of my own repairs.  The guy at the nearby hardware store has pretty much stopped questioning me when I need some parts/tools, and will just help me find them.  I still threw him though when we found that a tool I wanted didn't exist (or at least, he'd never heard of one and they didn't have any), and I made the comment "looks like I'll have to make it myself."
Let me just say that you are a hero and deserve a medal for being the kind of person that makes our world a better place.  If i were single, I might be trying to meet you for a cup of (reasonably priced) coffee.  Kudos.

Aw, shucks <blushes and fidgets with my foot in the dirt...>  Mostly the determination came from not wanting to be a statistic. 

AlanStache

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Re: Do you ever get "The Look"?
« Reply #139 on: September 13, 2017, 07:58:01 PM »
One thing I have learned over the years is that when meeting someone new and you dont know there situation always assume the other person is in the best/most respectable possible situation, if you are wrong your foot wont be in your mouth.  If they say they work in a dentist office assume they are the dentist; they say they work at a university you address them as dr/prof; they say they work at the shipping port you ask if they drive the big cranes; you see someone on a cool bike you assume it is theirs.  This rule does not have a gender or age caveat.


markbike528CBX

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Re: Do you ever get "The Look"?
« Reply #140 on: September 13, 2017, 08:04:30 PM »
I also get "the look" when I am dressed up purty in a pink dress and heels and all the girly stuff for a night out to a nice place (especially if meeting someone new) and I get in or out of my almost 20 year old beater truck. Its not a good look but still cracks me up.

Oh, I love this!  It reminds me of a woman i used to know who wore combat boots with a dress.   I think it is a pretty cool look.  :)
I think women owning old trucks is probably pretty common in many rural areas but here in fancy pants metro LA/OC is pretty unusual. New SUVs and luxury sedans but not many trucks and very very rarely old beater trucks. Mine sadly died and I have a fancy rental vehicle now so fit in better with my fancy friends and area. But can't wait to get the truck up and running again as I do miss all the disdainful looks I get ;-). Well I'm moving to a place (ski town) where beater trucks are probably more "normal" so doubt I'll get the same looks. Fun while it lasted.

I admit, I always felt sexiest (and got the best "looks") when I was wearing a well fitting pair of jeans, fitted top, boots, and driving/getting out of my beater pickup with my happy-as-shit dog in the back.  Man, I miss that dog! (and the old jeans size...)
haha me too. Before the truck I had an old jeep CJ (lived in the mountains) soft top no doors so I could rock my inner Daisy Duke. Plus a couple of motorcycles I had for years. But no one seemed to think they were mine. I don't know how many times I've been told how nice it was of my dh/bf/random dude to let me drive his jeep or motorcycles. Back when I first FIREd I spent much of the first year doing long solo motorcycle camping trips loaded with gear and ALWAYS got asked (when parked) where my male driver was at. Still do when in my truck on a solo road trip. Usually get the look of surprise which us another kind of look I guess.

One of my favorite memories is my double take/ "look" when we picked up my mom after a solo hike.
Her attire:   
Walking stick a foot taller than her, stout enough to be suitable for Friar Tuck.
Serious hiking boots.  Dog nearby.
A gun at her hip.
Micky Mouse t-shirt.

So proud.  Still brings a warm feeling.

Dollar Slice

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Re: Do you ever get "The Look"?
« Reply #141 on: September 13, 2017, 08:48:05 PM »
One thing I have learned over the years is that when meeting someone new and you dont know there situation always assume the other person is in the best/most respectable possible situation, if you are wrong your foot wont be in your mouth.  If they say they work in a dentist office assume they are the dentist; they say they work at a university you address them as dr/prof; they say they work at the shipping port you ask if they drive the big cranes; you see someone on a cool bike you assume it is theirs.  This rule does not have a gender or age caveat.

This is really good advice. I remember one time in my 20s, I was living in Cambridge MA and working at a publishing company with offices in Harvard Square. My roommate invited some friends over and we were all chatting... somehow it came up that I worked in Harvard Square and this guy (who was a very recent Harvard grad) asked me "Oh, really? What store do you work in?" I was so insulted that he would assume that someone "like me" (whatever that was - female? wearing jeans? having a roommate? who knows) could only possibly have a retail job, in an area chock-full of interesting companies and non-profits (not to mention Harvard U).

AccidentalMiser

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Re: Do you ever get "The Look"?
« Reply #142 on: September 13, 2017, 09:02:41 PM »
One thing I have learned over the years is that when meeting someone new and you dont know there situation always assume the other person is in the best/most respectable possible situation, if you are wrong your foot wont be in your mouth.  If they say they work in a dentist office assume they are the dentist; they say they work at a university you address them as dr/prof; they say they work at the shipping port you ask if they drive the big cranes; you see someone on a cool bike you assume it is theirs.  This rule does not have a gender or age caveat.

Excellent advice.  When I was a boy, I worked as my father's assistant in an HVAC business.  Once, we went to a large estate with a large house, many barns and buildings and several employees doing various tasks.  When we arrived at the job site (an HVAC unit for one of the outbuildings needed some maintenance) we were shortly joined by a gentleman driving a 25-year-old pickup truck.  He wore cowboy boots with his overall legs half in and half out, chewed tobacco, wore a cap from the local feed store and looked like he didn't have two nickels to rub together.  Of course, he was the owner of the whole shootin' match.  He had invented some sort of catfish bait and sold it all over the country. 

Fortunately, I was always on my best behavior when out working with my father so I didn't embarrass myself but I would have turned red if the fellow could have read my thoughts!

BeautifulDay

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Re: Do you ever get "The Look"?
« Reply #143 on: September 13, 2017, 10:31:58 PM »
One thing I have learned over the years is that when meeting someone new and you dont know there situation always assume the other person is in the best/most respectable possible situation, if you are wrong your foot wont be in your mouth.  If they say they work in a dentist office assume they are the dentist; they say they work at a university you address them as dr/prof; they say they work at the shipping port you ask if they drive the big cranes; you see someone on a cool bike you assume it is theirs.  This rule does not have a gender or age caveat.

This is really good advice. I remember one time in my 20s, I was living in Cambridge MA and working at a publishing company with offices in Harvard Square. My roommate invited some friends over and we were all chatting... somehow it came up that I worked in Harvard Square and this guy (who was a very recent Harvard grad) asked me "Oh, really? What store do you work in?" I was so insulted that he would assume that someone "like me" (whatever that was - female? wearing jeans? having a roommate? who knows) could only possibly have a retail job, in an area chock-full of interesting companies and non-profits (not to mention Harvard U).

I'm old enough that the new assumption for a female is teacher.  People always think I'm a teacher. Um, no. I'm a program manager for a large non-profit.

StiffUpperLip

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Re: Do you ever get "The Look"?
« Reply #144 on: September 14, 2017, 05:56:15 AM »
I got the "look" and the accompanying interrogation last night after letting it slip that I own "only" 4 pairs of shoes...  They looked at me like they'd just noticed I had two heads!

The ensuing 45 minute long interrogation as to exactly why do I not own more than 4 pairs of shoes, including one bloke who had packed more pairs than I own for a two night course away form home, then expanded from shoes to clothes "but you need different shoes to go with your different (???) jeans"...

Apparently these were unacceptable answers:

them: "what do you wear with a dress in winter"
me: "I don't own a winter dress"

them: "what do you wear with a dress if it's raining?"
me: "I don't wear a dress if its raining and if it rains while I'm already wearing a dress I guess my legs will get wet"

Despite the fact that bikes are like a mustacian sacred cow I must also mention that one co-worker admitted she had more shoes for cycling than I owned in total - and even that she owns more bikes than I have shoes!

Arg!  Apparently I need to "learn how to shop" and "let myself have nice things" - thank you very much!!!

I DIDN'T point out the car one of them arrived in which I know cost more than her annual salary!

It took longer than it should have to divert the conversation back to more common ground.

henceforth

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Re: Do you ever get "The Look"?
« Reply #145 on: September 14, 2017, 07:13:22 AM »
I get it occasionally when I tell people I'm 52. I like that "look" (I figure sooner or later Father Time will catch up to me and I won't get in anymore).

When they ask what my secret is I tell them without hesitation -- "no kids."  ;-)

LOL. I keep reading these posts from people who look younger than they are and also don't have kids and wondering, "You guys know these two facts are closely linked, right?"

Signed,

The lady who hasn't been mistaken for being younger than she is since simultaneously becoming pregnant with her first child and getting gray hair at the ripe old age of 26.

I feel similarly! I have been going grey since very young, and since having kids have never ever been mistaken for being younger. I don't ever get the "look"'except perhaps one of pity, lol.

MustachioedPistachio

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Re: Do you ever get "The Look"?
« Reply #146 on: September 14, 2017, 07:19:15 AM »
Ah, "The Look". I get sideways looks for riding a bike as a mode of transportation. It's the look of utter disbelief when clerks/tellers/coworkers/classmates find out that I actually do have a car but choose to ride instead. Inconceivable!

Banks are the best. Backpack + helmet + middle-of-day = must be poor student :) Love it!

ketchup

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Re: Do you ever get "The Look"?
« Reply #147 on: September 14, 2017, 07:52:45 AM »
I get it occasionally when I tell people I'm 52. I like that "look" (I figure sooner or later Father Time will catch up to me and I won't get in anymore).

When they ask what my secret is I tell them without hesitation -- "no kids."  ;-)

LOL. I keep reading these posts from people who look younger than they are and also don't have kids and wondering, "You guys know these two facts are closely linked, right?"

Signed,

The lady who hasn't been mistaken for being younger than she is since simultaneously becoming pregnant with her first child and getting gray hair at the ripe old age of 26.

I feel similarly! I have been going grey since very young, and since having kids have never ever been mistaken for being younger. I don't ever get the "look"'except perhaps one of pity, lol.
I know someone who, on her 29th birthday, on her way into a movie theater was asked "Are you an adult?"  Then at 30, she went gray (like full on Daenerys Targaryen gray) and hasn't had that problem since.  She likes to say she looked 15 until she looked 50.

secondcor521

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Re: Do you ever get "The Look"?
« Reply #148 on: September 14, 2017, 08:13:40 AM »
One thing I have learned over the years is that when meeting someone new and you dont know there situation always assume the other person is in the best/most respectable possible situation, if you are wrong your foot wont be in your mouth.  If they say they work in a dentist office assume they are the dentist; they say they work at a university you address them as dr/prof; they say they work at the shipping port you ask if they drive the big cranes; you see someone on a cool bike you assume it is theirs.  This rule does not have a gender or age caveat.

Reading this made me realize I gave the Look once.

I did a triathlon once, a long time ago.  On the morning of the event, riding the bus from the finish line area up to the swim start, I saw an 80 year old skinny man who was obviously a fellow competitor.

"Well, at least I won't come in dead last," I clearly remember thinking.

I shouldn't have assumed.  The guy beat me by nearly an hour.

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Re: Do you ever get "The Look"?
« Reply #149 on: September 14, 2017, 09:50:45 AM »

Reading this made me realize I gave the Look once.

I did a triathlon once, a long time ago.  On the morning of the event, riding the bus from the finish line area up to the swim start, I saw an 80 year old skinny man who was obviously a fellow competitor.

"Well, at least I won't come in dead last," I clearly remember thinking.

I shouldn't have assumed.  The guy beat me by nearly an hour.

Yep, every week I go through the ParkRun results, to see how many over 70 beat me, sometimes it's only 2, other times it's 3!

One of my favorite memories is my double take/ "look" when we picked up my mom after a solo hike.
Her attire:   
Walking stick a foot taller than her, stout enough to be suitable for Friar Tuck.
Serious hiking boots.  Dog nearby.
A gun at her hip.
Micky Mouse t-shirt.

So proud.  Still brings a warm feeling.

Your mum is a badass.