Do people ask you for financial advice, and how do you respond?

[frugalecon]

I pose this question because I have in recent months had several people ask me for financial advice about, e.g., personal finance and investments, and then they have ignored my detailed information. I am thinking I should just decline to provide this kind of information in the future, but perhaps other people have had experiences of people benefiting from MMM or Boglehead types of advice. Is it hopeless, or should I keep trying?

[CoffeeR]

I would point them to the MMM and bogleheads forums. Tell them after they have read a little to ask me questions about anything that they have read that intrigues them or is unclear or if they just want to talk with someone about what they are reading. It is easy enough to do, takes little time (initially) and if they actually do start reading these forums and come back to ask more questions you know they are (probably) serious and worth some time investment.

If they are really seriously in debt and depending on my judgment of their personality, I might point them to Dave Ramsey, though I do not care for his financial advice for anyone who is not in significant debt (mortgage or similar debt excluded).

[mxt0133]

I have given my fair share of financial advice, solicited and unsolicited.  I have learn over the years that when I get into specifics and I do not take into account their views and attitude on finances, the advice is almost always disregarded.  However, the times that it was followed what I noticed was that I probed deeper on what they were mostly after.  Some people ask for advice not because they don't know what to do but because they need validation on what they have mostly decided on.

I would say give them advice if you are asked but know the difference if they are really asking for help or just validation.

[aceyou]

I ask them what they want their future to look like, and see where the conversation goes. 

I'll often say that my wife and I have had many conversations about what we want, and we've noticed that time together and with the kids brings us more happiness than stuff.  Because of that, we've decided to put a large percentage of our money to investments, so we can give ourselves more control over how our future time is spent.  I tell people that this has made us happier, but that they have to decide what works best for their situation. 

Usually this type of framing helps them see why we don't view hardcore saving as a deprivation.  I've gotten a few people to go hard core MMM, and a few others to make some meaningful changes to their lifestyle.

[jlcnuke]

Many times. Interactions have varied depending on my responses and their desire to improve their situation and/or knowledge. Most just want to ask "what are you doing so I can do that, I hear you know your stuff about this investing thing".

[remizidae]

I pose this question because I have in recent months had several people ask me for financial advice about, e.g., personal finance and investments, and then they have ignored my detailed information. I am thinking I should just decline to provide this kind of information in the future, but perhaps other people have had experiences of people benefiting from MMM or Boglehead types of advice. Is it hopeless, or should I keep trying?

People ask you for advice because they respect you and want to talk about the topic. Asking for advice does not mean they promise to do whatever you say. Frankly, it's pretty egotistical to assume that people who ask for advice must/should blindly follow whatever advice you give--and to decide that because people are not obeying you, that you should stop talking to them. Don't think of it as you, the Authority, giving orders--think of it as a conversation.

[Michael in ABQ]

I've provided solicited and unsolicited financial advice to a lot of younger soldiers. Typically I tell them to not buy a new vehicle and invest for retirement now. If you can stop someone from getting into the lifelong trap of a multi hundred dollar payment on a new vehicle that alone could translate to hundreds of thousands of dollars over a lifetime. A $5-10,000 vehicle will provide the exact same utility as a $25,000 - $40,000 vehicle.

[Dicey]

1. Why are you asking me?
2. What are your goals?
3. What will you do with this advice if I give it to you?

Works pretty well. It either leads to a good conversation or the conversation's over. Win-win.

[Imma]

People have sometimes noticed that our situation doesn't add up: I work parttime, my s/o is an artist, we look poor but then we can suddenly replace a big item without losing any sleep over it. I always start by telling we live below our means on purpose. To some people that's already mind blowing - we could afford a car, and we don't, because we can bike everywhere, and we save that money? To those people I reveal the tric of buying large quantities: how 0,5 kgs of washing powder costs €5 and 5 kgs costs €10, and 0,25 l of olive oil is €2,50 and 5 liter is €11 and the magic of automatic saving and compounding interest. This is all extremely basic knowledge that everyone should have.

There have been people wanting to know more about the end-goal and I've told them about having an EF, FU money, reaching FI. As I suffer from health problems people have told me this is sensible, but so far no one has been interested in learning more about how to get there.

[Goinganon]

I have had many people ask me for financial advice over the years. Some take the advice; others don’t. I don’t seek out the opportunity to provide advice nor do I typically follow up to make sure that they’ve followed my advice. It feels great when someone comes up to me later on and says thanks and tells me how wonderfully following my advice worked for them. On the other hand, I’ve noticed that when I seek out that validation, I tend to become frustrated and/or disappointed that people didn’t follow my advice. So, my suggestion would be to offer advice when specifically asked and don’t follow up.

[Hirondelle]

I've had a few friends asking me for advice so far as somehow everyone seems to know I'm good with money (?!).

I honestly was a total noob on investing until 9 months ago, so I haven't given too much advice on that except that people should go for "safe" investments like index funds and not put all their savings in speculative stuff like bitcoins (though a small amount of play money is okay).

Most of my advice has been on cutting costs. I tell everyone how I've lowered my rent, because landlords here massively break the laws and people don't fight against it. Especially in HCOL cities you can save yourself a ton of money there. I also have a lot of international/immigrant friends and I regularly help them finding their way to the wood of regulations and possible subsidies they can get.

On another note; you can't always see to what extent someone's followed up your advice (assuming you don't ask them about their Vanguard account every week). Sometimes it may look like people don't accept your advice, but they do with at least part of it. In discussions I'm myself often a stubborn person or tend to get defensive, while thinking it over lately things sink in and make sense. So if I'm not enthusiastic in a conversation, the message might still come across and I might implement stuff.

[CupcakeGuru]

I pose this question because I have in recent months had several people ask me for financial advice about, e.g., personal finance and investments, and then they have ignored my detailed information. I am thinking I should just decline to provide this kind of information in the future, but perhaps other people have had experiences of people benefiting from MMM or Boglehead types of advice. Is it hopeless, or should I keep trying?

They are asking because they want to know. I have had several people ask financial advice over the last couple of years. In the beginning I would tell them that had to do this or that and what they are doing is wrong. Obviously that didn't go over well because nobody wants to be lectured. Now I approach it with stories of what me and DH did,how we were in debt, stupid things that we bought/did that did not work and how we changed it and what we do now instead. People are much more receptive. The biggest thing to remember is that we did not start out as MMM, but took baby steps to get to where we are now.

[TheAnonOne]

I tell them it costs $200 an hour

What a nice guy! lol

[TheWifeHalf]

Not that I can remember. We just don't associate much with people that are open about their financial situation, and expect us to be too.

[Hula Hoop]

My best friend inherited a small amount of money recently and asked me my financial advice.  I told her about Vanguard but I could see her eyes glazing over.

[VoteCthulu]

I keep my advice very generic in casual conversation, such as "I prefer index funds" and "Last Week Tonight had a great episode on how damaging high expense ratios are".

[calimom]

My best friend inherited a small amount of money recently and asked me my financial advice.  I told her about Vanguard but I could see her eyes glazing over.

She was hoping your advice would come int the form of how to spend her windfall immediately and foolishly.

I gave some advice to a friend recently, who phoned me in tears about his tax liability. He's frustrated he'll never be able to buy even a small condo. He just doesn't know where the money goes, he has a roster of well paying clients. He doesn't do "anything extravagant", and was quiet and listened when I told him his leased Audi, his two first class trips to Chicago to have hats custom made and first class trip to London to visit The Chelsea Garden Show, while all nice things, could be considered extravagant. He backpedaled with claims that the car, trip and clothes were extremely important to his brand, his image. I was nice, and told him any changes he wished to make to better his financial situation were his and his alone. I don't expect any miracles, but would love to be happily surprised by a major change in his financial behavior and net worth.

A lot of people just simply don't and won't get it. They don't understand why you'd do something so boring as put money in the bank, retirement accounts or investments - such a dreary thing to do! - than spend it on stuff.

[Steeze]

My parents listened to Dave Ramsey audio books. After completing the books they were inspired to get out of debt and asked me to have a look at thier finances. I gave them homework to track thier expenses for 3 months. Meanwhile I told them what debts to pay off first, which ones to stop making extra payments on, and how the avalanche method works. After three months we sat down again and went through the budget and talked about what spending surprised them, and where they thought they could cut back. Each time they paid a debt off they would call me to confirm the next move, and how much the new payment would be. We are 9 months down the road and they are down to just the mortgage and have an emergency fund for the first time in 30 years. Their spending is down also, mostly on eating out and going to estate sales. They are in thier early 60s with no savings and low income. I am now trying to convince them that taking SS at 62 is not the right path.

One of my good friends reached out to me the other day and sent me his budget and pay stubs and asked me for my opinion. I ran the numbers identified areas he could consider cutting back, and included a couple extra line items so he could track things better.

I have looked over 401ks, looked at health insurance options & ran simulations, created budgets, etc. With friends and co-workers.

In general I'll point people to MMM, boggleheads, and JL Collins. But if people want to sit down and run the numbers I am generally happy to help. FWIW, I don't think people generally follow the advice, or if they do only for a short time.

My coworkers know I am a big MMM fan, that I enjoy finance and stocks, and that I am trying to retire in 10 years. When they have stock market questions they come to me, but I don't think most of them follow through. I have an open offer to help people set up Vanguard IRAs instead of dumping more cash into our expensive 401k above the company match, but no one has taken me up on it.

[BTDretire]

 I don't get ask very often, no one knows I have any money. :-)
I would be hesitant to tell someone to put a lot of money in the market
after the runup we have had. A newby would not be happy seeing 30% of their
savings disappear. I do tell people about MMM. Bogleheads, and VTSAX.

[Rcc]

Never. 99.95% of all the folks I interact with at work, in family and friends don’t know squat about my plans or position. Of the five couples who have heard snippets of my plans, they don’t ask either:

They sit on my porch of my house (150k)
I sit on my oldest friends porch (300k)
I tell some strategies to another friend on his porch over dinner and drinks (400k)
Regular Xmas holiday meals With family who dropped 5 digits of debt to remodel their house. (350k?)
Final friend has observed my frugality, emails me from his home (500k).

They earn well, and have their own plans from their perspective. However because of their consumption and desire to “celebrate their success” they are fixated on what works for them. Comparing notes with a friend (me) (who would happily share) isn’t something that occurs to them. Add social taboo to discuss the topic as well.

[ixtap]

I know people whom think we are naive for planning early retirement.
I know people who think we are masochists for living our lifestyle.
I know people have made the connection between our careers and our lifestyle to realize we just might be able to pull it off.
But not one person has ever asked what we are doing with our money in the meantime.
A couple have told us what we should do, but they still don't ask what we are doing.

[CindyBS]

Never.  Because no one knows we are good with money and have a stache.  I have mentioned debt free living to a few friends who already paid off their houses.

I assume most people think we have much less money than we do due to the used cars, shopping at thrift stores, etc.

[BudgetSlasher]

I pose this question because I have in recent months had several people ask me for financial advice about, e.g., personal finance and investments, and then they have ignored my detailed information. I am thinking I should just decline to provide this kind of information in the future, but perhaps other people have had experiences of people benefiting from MMM or Boglehead types of advice. Is it hopeless, or should I keep trying?

In general I have found that when I give advice, of any nature, I have to not care how or if it is followed.

It is rarer than I would like that someone is looking for advice. More often they are looking they are looking for someone to say what they are already thinking they should do.

Specifically to finances, there is a large gap between MMM/Boglehead and the sure lease that Mercedes and social security will make up your retirement shortfall mentalities. Just because they did not exactly (or even mostly) follow your detailed information does not mean that they didn't make a small change (perhaps even unnoticeable to you, but large to them) or got them thinking. Changes in lifestyle and patterns seem to change in small steps and slowly, what seems reasonable and works for someone fully onboard with MMM, may seem unreasonable and incompatible with someone who is currently on the spendy pants way of life.

[Fomerly known as something]

Are you putting money into our company 401k, is it the max if 18,500.  First step make this your goal.  If you don't want to spend time on it shove all that money into one of the Target date retirement funds.

Generally I only get questions from co-workers, other people don't really know I have my shit together.

[Raenia]

I only give advice if the question I was asked was specific.  I.E.  "I'm looking to invest some money, what company do you recommend?" or "Can you explain to me how HSA's work?"  I try to avoid getting pulled into "How do you save money" type conversations.  And then, after I've answered the specific question, I don't lead on into other financial topics, and I never ask them what they decided to do or if they followed my advice.

[Zikoris]

I'm always willing to tell somewhat what I would do in their shoes if asked. I don't really "follow up" to see what they end up doing, though sometimes I find out if they tell me or I get a referral bonus. Luckily, giving advice is never a big time suck, because what I would do is generally very simple and easy - maybe a few sentences. Like, "I'd axe all the spending on X and Y, an put the money saved into index funds at Z brokerage." There's nothing that I do finance-wise that's remotely complicated or sophisticated.

[TartanTallulah]

Never.  Because no one knows we are good with money and have a stache.  I have mentioned debt free living to a few friends who already paid off their houses.

I assume most people think we have much less money than we do due to the used cars, shopping at thrift stores, etc.

That's where I'm at too. Although I have a job that is generally believed to pay well, I don't work full time, have lots of children, make no secret of having been asset-stripped on divorce, and joke about having an anti-Midas touch, so nobody thinks I have anything useful to say about financial matters. And we have vacations and an expensive hobby; what people can't see is that we don't fritter. My own parents suspect me of being in debt and having no pension provision. Random people are never going to pick me out as a suitable person to ask about investing. The only person I advise actively is the one of my children who is in employment rather than academia and has money to invest and something he really wants to save for, and then my advice is focused on helping him stick to simple investment principles in a world that seems determined to complicate matters.

I'm not counting the customers who are at risk of having their health-related state benefits withdrawn and ask me, "How am I supposed to live on only £x a month?" I suspect they don't want to know what I would do if I only had £x a month, and I think it's more appropriate to use my education and privilege to write a letter supporting their appeal than to talk to already heavily stressed people about paring expenses to the bone.

[AnnaGrowsAMustache]

Absolutely no one asks me for advice! People think I'm poor.

[MrsDinero]

I used to give it whenever anyone asked, but now it depends on the person and why they are asking.   If it is a friend who I know is careful about their money and is genuinely looking for an additional POV when they ask, then I will weigh in.

If they are spendthrifts and just want justification for another new purchase that they can't afford, I stay out of it. 

Budget help, it depends.  One friend who has asked me over and over again for years for budget help without taking anything I had to say, recently told me her and her husband finally agreed on a budget plan(they have been talking about it for years).  They are going to aggressively pay off the 0-3% debt in the next 5 months, then snowball it on to the $50k credit cards debt at 18% & 20%.  I just said "That's GREAT!"

[frugalecon]

OP here, thanks everyone who shared experiences. I am thinking my approach going forward will be to acknowledge that what has worked for me may not be applicable to others, but that a rough guide that summarizes what my approach has been is in the William Bernstein “If You Can” piece (https://www.etf.com/docs/IfYouCan.pdf) If after reading someone wanted to discuss further, I would be open to it.

[Adam Zapple]

Only my close friends know that we put tons of money away for retirement.  I work in a field that people (incorrectly) assume does not earn much money and I like to play along with those assumptions.

The few times I have given financial advice to people they were interested but did not follow through on any of my suggestions.  Money habits are hard to change if the person is not willing.  Now I just tell people they should aim to save at least 20 percent of their paychecks if the conversation comes up.

[Hula Hoop]

Absolutely no one asks me for advice! People think I'm poor.

My family thinks this.  In fact, I've had relatives who have found out how little I earn compared to them get all up in my face about how I'm never going to be able to retire and how I need to start putting away money etc.  Very irritating.  They assume that because I have a low income and don't own a car, have a cleaning lady or whatever other spendy thing they do that means that I'm clueless about money.

[TheWifeHalf]

People think I'm poor.

Forgot:
A gal who does the same thing my husband does at work, so knows what he makes, asked what he does with his money (that was only part of the question, I wasn't there), and that's all he told me.  We had talked to a guy at Fidelity, who had sent us a few cards, so THH gave her one.

[TempusFugit]

I've recently been asked by a coworker what he should do with a "large" amount of cash to earn some kind of return.  I was happy to provide the basic information about asset allocation and the types of investments money markets, cds, bond index funds, stock index funds and how those fit in the risk/reward hierarchy. 

I provided information, but i did not advise any particular course of action.  Without a full picture of someones finances, i cant give valid advice. 

I have no intention of following up. It isnt my business. 

I have no problem sharing general information if someone asks. I might even give advice if it is something clear like "should i buy this new car even though im still paying for my current car and im about to have 2 kids in college".  But even then, i wouldnt say anything about their ultimate decision. 

I think as long as you are simply providing information or giving general advice on a specific question wihtout judging someone elses actions, you are doing the right thing.  Those of us who were fortunate enough to have good role models should try to do our part in helping the majority of people who are pretty clueless.   Just dont be surprised if most people continue to be clueless.   

I thnk some of the best opportunities to be a good influence are when other people say things to me like "why dont you buy a new car? You can afford it."  To which i can say something short and hopefully memorable like "why would i spend tens of thousands of dollars on something that's guaranteed to lose value? I'd rather actually be rich than just look rich." 

[sparkytheop]

I've found people are much more interested in my "fun life" than my boring "day to day life".  I get a lot of "I wish I could afford the (concerts, theater, vacations) you do."  So, I explain how I go about doing those things frugally, saving up for them, etc, but the biggest reason I can do those things is because I prioritize them financially, which means my day-to-day life is more sparse.  I rarely drink ("I can't give up drinking, or going to the bar.")  I no longer have a commute ("I couldn't stand to have to live where I work.")  I do much of my own repairs ("I don't want to deal with the toilet/furnace/etc on my days off".)  I do my own cooking, canning, etc ("I can't cook", "I like to eat out.")  I (used to) max my retirement ("I can't live without that money in my check every month!")

So, in the end, even though I've talked about how I can afford some great vacations (the last big one was 5 weeks in Europe), own a home, save for retirement, etc, they still walk away with "I wish I could afford that".  I've even gotten "You're lucky you're a single mom!" (seriously, wtf?)

I'm about priorities.  You figure out what your priorities are, then figure out how to do the things that are lower on the list as inexpensively as you can, since you don't really care about those, so you can save for the higher priority stuff.  If travel, retirement savings, etc, was truly a priority like they claimed, they'd figure it out.  Most the time it is not.

I've had a few people follow some of my advice though, and give me a thanks for the suggestions.  I think a few bumped up their retirement contributions simply out of "shame" that mine were higher even though we made exactly the same wage.

[MedEvac Finance]

I find that people will only ask me financial questions when it's one on one.  Many are too embarrassed to admit in front of others just how little financial knowledge they have, especially working in a professional environment with what I would consider elementary level knowledge in personal finance.  I respond with basics and can quickly tell if they will ignore all advice.

[koshtra]

I am reluctant to give advice, and when I do I generally couch it as, "what I would do is probably..." or "what I have done is..."

Getting emotionally invested in people following my advice... strikes me as borrowing trouble.

[Ottoford]

I pose this question because I have in recent months had several people ask me for financial advice about, e.g., personal finance and investments, and then they have ignored my detailed information. I am thinking I should just decline to provide this kind of information in the future, but perhaps other people have had experiences of people benefiting from MMM or Boglehead types of advice. Is it hopeless, or should I keep trying?

Similar to what I have read here, I go through basics and I am generally ignored.  I have one close friend who wanted to know how to invest her Roth.  I told her about dividend paying stocks, vanguard, mutual fund ratings blah blah blah.  She would then just sent me different mutual fund and stock symbols and say “what about this?”  I don’t want to play that game.

Also, next door neighbor asked about what she should prioritize.  I mentioned maxing out 403B.  Her response was that she needed the money in her paycheck now.  I stopped right there.  I know she buys fancy coffee on her way to work every day, goes out to eat 3-4 times per week and gets weekly massages.  Oh and about $10k in credit card debt.  There is nothing I can do, but frustrate myself.  End conversation.

[MrDelane]

Many people gave me advice over the years, and I did not take it.
I was worried about losing my money and was convinced I didn't know enough.  Because of that I still asked for advice, and I still got it.  And yet I didn't follow it for a long time.

Everyone is on their own timeline.  Sure, I wish I'd taken action earlier in my life - but I'm on the right track now (and have been for quite some time).

My point is - if someone asks for advice I will always give it to them freely, without expectation that they will follow it to the letter immediately, or at all.  Someone asking for advice is someone asking for help, and I will always be willing to help.  Whether or not people use the help you give them is out of your hands and not worth getting upset or annoyed over (in my opinion).

One thing I have found that helps me is to have links, primers, etc, ready to go.  I have had numerous people ask me for financial advice, and so I have an email that lists out the major points I would want to communicate to anyone starting out along with the relevant links (MMM, JL Collins, Bernstein, etc).  When someone asks me for advice I let them know I will followup with an email.  I did the heavy lifting the first time someone asked me for advice, and I revise it slightly each time.  Now when someone asks me for financial advice it takes me all of 5 minutes to pull up the document and forward it to them.  Once they become familiar with the information I sent them we can followup with a conversation (that way the time commitment is on them). 

I have similar emails for other things that people have asked me for advice on (video/photography help, for example).  It keeps me from feeling I have to reinvent the wheel everytime someone asks for some tips or help, and it gives them something they can refer to and revisit.

[nick663]

Depends on the person.  I usually start by talking about being sure to get your employer match and increasing the contributions until you're maxing out pre-tax 401k to get a feel for their commitment level.  If the person seems receptive I might send the shockingly simple math post later to get their wheels turning on what is really possible.

I don't project anything that implies we have a lot of money though so I really don't get this request often.

[jpdx]

Friends and family rarely ask me for financial advice, but I wish they would!

[elliha]

I have always been frugal but never really made an effort to invest things. I did put some money into a managed fund because I did not know better around the time I was 18 which I sold a couple of years ago and did make a profit but that is the only thing I have ever done until a couple of days ago when I now put some money into index funds and I plan to start doing monthly payments into in September. I have asked a couple of friends about investments over the last 2-3 years and they were glad to help me to places where I could learn more and also give some friendly advice from my position and their views about what to do. They might think I didn't listen or cared but I did, I just needed to get to the point where our finances were stable enough to begin so that might be something to consider when people ask for advice, they might be like me.

[swaneesr]

Many people gave me advice over the years, and I did not take it.
I was worried about losing my money and was convinced I didn't know enough.  Because of that I still asked for advice, and I still got it.  And yet I didn't follow it for a long time.

Everyone is on their own timeline.  Sure, I wish I'd taken action earlier in my life - but I'm on the right track now (and have been for quite some time).

My point is - if someone asks for advice I will always give it to them freely, without expectation that they will follow it to the letter immediately, or at all.  Someone asking for advice is someone asking for help, and I will always be willing to help.  Whether or not people use the help you give them is out of your hands and not worth getting upset or annoyed over (in my opinion).

One thing I have found that helps me is to have links, primers, etc, ready to go.  I have had numerous people ask me for financial advice, and so I have an email that lists out the major points I would want to communicate to anyone starting out along with the relevant links (MMM, JL Collins, Bernstein, etc).  When someone asks me for advice I let them know I will followup with an email.  I did the heavy lifting the first time someone asked me for advice, and I revise it slightly each time.  Now when someone asks me for financial advice it takes me all of 5 minutes to pull up the document and forward it to them.  Once they become familiar with the information I sent them we can followup with a conversation (that way the time commitment is on them). 

I have similar emails for other things that people have asked me for advice on (video/photography help, for example).  It keeps me from feeling I have to reinvent the wheel everytime someone asks for some tips or help, and it gives them something they can refer to and revisit.

Wow this is very thoughtful MrDelane.


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

[Linea_Norway]

One of my colleagues wanted to know some more about investing in stocks. The lunch break was too chaotic for her and I told her she could contact me later. Later that day we sat together at her PC and I showed her that index funds are a lot cheaper than other stock funds or than individual stocks. I also told her about the swings of the stock market in general.

I have given FIL advice to invest himself in index funds. He answered that his bank already does that for him, in lots of specialized index funds. He thinks investing is a profession that you should leave to professionals. After having told my point of view, I stopped talking about it more. It is his money and he doesn't want to change his point of view.

In general, advice is exactly that. People can hear you and decide to do otherwise. As it is their money, you should just let them.

[MrDelane]

Wow this is very thoughtful MrDelane.

Thank you.

[Spiffsome]

My mum tried to talk me into changing my diet to lose weight. I did it about 10 years after she brought it up.

My friend tried to explain networking to me. I did it about 2 years after he mentioned it.

I think that if you want people to follow your advice, the best strategy is to (1) mention it once, and then drop it. Nobody likes to feel like they're giving in to someone else nagging them and (2) continue living your life according to your strategy, and let your results speak for themselves. I thought networking was crap until my friend pulled a job offer almost out of thin air, because he knew someone who needed someone.

People often aren't in a place where they can take your advice but if you're not a jerk about it, they may stash the idea away until it's useful to them.

[OtherJen]

Absolutely no one asks me for advice! People think I'm poor.

My family thinks this.  In fact, I've had relatives who have found out how little I earn compared to them get all up in my face about how I'm never going to be able to retire and how I need to start putting away money etc.  Very irritating.  They assume that because I have a low income and don't own a car, have a cleaning lady or whatever other spendy thing they do that means that I'm clueless about money.

Same here, although it’s usually more kindly condescending than aggressive in my case. Some of our friends assume we’re poor and maybe a little nuts because we have a small house in an un-fancy neighborhood, rarely eat out, and don’t go on vacations requiring plane travel and resorts every year.

[ltt]

My best friend inherited a small amount of money recently and asked me my financial advice.  I told her about Vanguard but I could see her eyes glazing over.

She was hoping your advice would come int the form of how to spend her windfall immediately and foolishly.

I gave some advice to a friend recently, who phoned me in tears about his tax liability. He's frustrated he'll never be able to buy even a small condo. He just doesn't know where the money goes, he has a roster of well paying clients. He doesn't do "anything extravagant", and was quiet and listened when I told him his leased Audi, his two first class trips to Chicago to have hats custom made and first class trip to London to visit The Chelsea Garden Show, while all nice things, could be considered extravagant. He backpedaled with claims that the car, trip and clothes were extremely important to his brand, his image. I was nice, and told him any changes he wished to make to better his financial situation were his and his alone. I don't expect any miracles, but would love to be happily surprised by a major change in his financial behavior and net worth.

A lot of people just simply don't and won't get it. They don't understand why you'd do something so boring as put money in the bank, retirement accounts or investments - such a dreary thing to do! - than spend it on stuff.

And this is why he won't learn.  If you have someone saying that the car, trip, and clothes are important to the brand image, I think the conversation is basically dead at that point.  He's trying to create an image--no different than those on Insta-gram travelling the world, staging photos, and then wondering why they are in debt. 

We are not asked for financial advice--after all we don't really dress that great, our home needs a lot of work on the outside, and the vehicles are booorrrrinnnngggg.  About the only people we offer advice to is our children.... :)

[Acastus]

Until I know how financially savvy someone is, I tend to offer entry level advice. Step 1. Spend less than you make. If you cannot do that, they you are not ready for step 2. For investment order, just give them the top 3 bullets. I recommend the 50/30/20 rule, needs/wants/debt & savings, as a place to start a budget. Read "The Coffeehouse Investor." Step 3. Target date fund or 100% - age in stocks. I think people need to understand the risks of more complex investing themselves before I offer it to them.

When they are at least doing the basics, then offer them JL Collins, William Bernstein level advice. As much as invest it all in S&P 500 is easy, I prefer modern portfolio theory to get more bang for your buck at lower risk. It is also good to check on other financial topics like insurance, will, 529 plan, and see if they have thought any of these through. If so, then give them the full list of investment priority.

[Much Fishing to Do]

I definitely don't wear nice enough clothes or have a big enough house for anyone to ask me for advice... as I don't have the 7 figures printed on my forehead and though I love talking finances generally don't get into the specific numbers. 

I guess the one exception is my dad knows I'm into it and doing well and asks me plenty but he's generally looking for something very specific (whats most tax efficient way for me to to handle these RMDs, etc) and the only general advice I have to give him is usually the opposite of what most people need (to loosen up with his spending given he's in his mid-seventies and so the money probably doesn't have to last another 50 no matter how much better a shape he's in than me..... ;-)