Did you grow up in a mustachian house?

[Torran]

I'm wondering how many people's mustachianism is in direct contrast to the home they grew up in, and how many already came from very frugal backgrounds?

Mine was pretty frugal, but we had the joy of living in the country, a big garden, a beautiful part of the world, etc. I have very happy memories and felt we were pretty well-off growing up, which ofcourse we were, in terms of quality of life.

Some things my parents did which I only remembered when reading MMM:

1. Never throwing packaging away; re-using it all.
2. Never, ever throwing food away, if it could be used as leftovers. This included using up things past their sell-by-date.
3. Taking home-packed food with us on long car journeys so we didn't have to stop at cafes.
4. And, Christmas themed entry: keeping all wrapping paper and re-using it; and using the same decorations every year (obviously).

Also, I'm sure I've posted about this before, we routinely stole our Christmas tree every year from the forest at the bottom of the hill. It became a sort of sneaky/illegal Christmas tradition.

As a teenager I found their money-saving hugely embarrassing. Uugh, teenagers. It's taken me years of being stupidly spendy to realise how wise their ways are.

Anyone else either rebelling from, or building upon, the way they were brought up to handle money?

[NeuroPlastic]

My financial upbringing was mixed. 

Dad is the very definition of frugal.  He built the house with his own hands, on land he bought when he was nineteen.  He considers a shirt trustworthy when he's gotten 20 years of wear out of it, and he never purchased a vehicle unless it was at least fifteen years old.  But he has never been an investor - he kept cash and simple savings accounts.  He retired at 54.

Mom spends like a sailor.  Mostly on 'experiences'.  Dad is still trying to figure out (like the rest of us) how Mom can make thousands of dollars in cash disappear overnight with nothing whatsoever to show for it.  On the other hand, she would save considerably on food the household by simply not buying any...

For Christmas trees, we'd just cut one from the yard.  Dad planted fifty or so each year, starting in his mid-twenties.  He'd get a bundle of first-year nursery stock from the county extension service for a dollar or two. The first cut-your-own customer each year completely covered the cost of the next year's plants.

[mbl]

Yes, most certainly.
Frugality was standard behavior where my parents came from.    There was nothing radical about it.
They amassed wealth because of their natural preferences, behaviors and innate wisdom.

[Wolf_Stache]

Decidedly not.

My mom is addicted to shopping - home shopping network, Thrift stores, etc. I don't know how many times growing up she tried to convince me I needed some ring or something or other she saw on the hsn and me fighting with her saying no, no, dont' buy it, I don't want it, etc.

My dad thinks expensive = better.

So glad I was able to get away from that madness when I moved out. But just last night I was verbally sparring with my mom over the telephone trying to tell her I don't need anything for Christmas, no really, nothing. Sigh.

[rocksinmyhead]

interesting question. my parents are somewhere in the middle... definitely not mustachian, but middle class and non-delusional (i.e. didn't spend grotesquely outside of their means) so at least I grew up with moderate materialistic expectations... standard 1980s split level house in a pleasant but non-fancy suburb, grew up going to the library and watching PBS Kids, all my clothes were from Kohls even though I wanted "cooler" clothes SO BAD (seriously, my mom thought Old Navy was a "brand name"/too expensive for much of my youth). my mom always drove used cars (although when I was in middle school they bought a minivan, which is not that mustachian with two kids), my dad bought new and un-mustachian cars (pickup, conversion van) but then drove them for a long time. we had awesome vacations that I talked about on another thread (went to the beach every two years with my cousins) but we never flew anywhere. so yeah, middle of the road.

they definitely got spendier as I got older and my dad made more money (started out  as an electrician but then moved to IT, database stuff)... we got satellite TV when I was in middle school and my sister (5 years younger than me) definitely had more brand-name clothes. thankfully my mom, like me, has never been one to shop for entertainment. basically, I don't think they've ever put a ton of thought into saving money, but they also are kind of nerdy and not super fancy/spendy people by nature.

a couple of other mustachian influences of my youth come to mind, though, like my aunt and uncle, and the family who babysat my sister and I for a few summers. both were families with SAHMs and my aunt and uncle were actually the first one-car family I knew of. actually my aunt was the one who first sent me the link to MMM!

[EDSMedS]

I grew up in a stable-but-poor household.  My parents owned a home but entertainment was "go outside and play."  I had to make choices early on, something like, "you can either play soccer or baseball this year b/c we can only afford to pay $100 for entry (not $200)."  Vacation meant going to Pella (a Dutch settlement) and checking out the big windmill.

I wasn't afraid but I held no delusions of grandeur.

[OutBy40]

My dad retired at 49, but I wouldn't say he was a Mustachian.  He retired early due to working his ass off to get a high income.  He invested wisely and did well for himself. 

But, we weren't exactly scrimping by week to week.  We had everything that we needed, and more.

[Lyssa]

My parents were frugal but not mustachian, meaning they know how to keep expenses in check but not how to reasonably (un)insure and invest.

[sleepyguy]

Definitely a weird mix in our house growing up.  Lots of wasteful spending but very MMM in other areas.  All around my parents were horrid with finances though.  They never had combined income of over 80k but still managed.

MMM'ish
- almost never ate out
- zero travel (plane or train) vacations, most family trips were to the local park or whatnot
- they didn't pay for any of my schooling, although I ended up dropping out have 1.5 semester of college
- air dried almost always
- used alot of things until they were unusable, aka family couch, fridge, etc.

Anti-MMM
- they went on very expensive vacations themselves, $10-15k every few yrs... on credit.
- didn't repair anything and didn't upkeep anything... car repairs cost a ton for them
- drive EVERYWHERE
- very "status" oriented even though they don't have much money (very apparent in the asian culture for some reason... let's lease a BMW to look cool but have $200 in our savings/investment accounts)

[Gen Y Finance Journey]

I grew up in a somewhat Mustachian house, and I would say that my behavior tends to mimic my parents'.

My parents were incredibly frugal when it came to things like furniture, clothes, gadgets, and vacations. Somewhat frugal on vehicles (they had multiple cars and used them often, but never bought outlandishly expensive cars, and drove the ones they did buy into the ground) and home renovations (didn't DIY, but never got expensive high end finishes). And not frugal at all on children's activities/education or food.

My dad earned a good salary, and my parents were very clear with the kids that we could afford to spend extra money on some things, we just couldn't spend a lot of money on everything. And that's still how I live my life today.

[Tetsuya Hondo]

Yes. But, out of necessity. They were working class poor.

Then I went to college and was surrounded by middle class kids who spent freely on credit. I decided they knew something that my high school educated parents didn't and joined along.

Now, I'm working hard to emulate their lifestyle and to bulk up my atrophied frugality muscles.

[stuckinmn]

My family was very frugal and did not care about the whole status thing but my father was awful with investments.  He just did not get the whole risk/reward of the stock market so stuck with savings accounts for the most part.  Now that I think about it, his prime earning years would have been from the mid 60's to the late 80's when the stock market did not do so well, so maybe he knew something.

He managed to retire in his early 50's as soon as he vested in his teacher's pension.  After a certain number of years, he became entitled to an annual payment of 60% of his salary, with another 2% added for each additional year you would work.  He always marvelled at his co-workers that kept working year after year to get that extra 2% while he was busy doing whatever he wanted and doing just fine on his 60% pension.  I can still hear him saying "someone is willing to put up with 5 more years of bullshit so they can have another 4 or 5 grand a year in retirement?  Are you f-ing kidding me?"

I think a person can always learn the investment stuff, but to me it seems it would be hard to spend your formative years as spendy and later learn to be frugal.   

[MrFancypants]

If "yes" only out of necessity.  I would describe us as "poor" rather than "thrifty."  Fortunately we weren't destitute, so I still had a decent child-hood because aunts and uncles helped smooth over things.

Unfortunately, even with that, I was never given the financial skills I needed to get to where I am today.  Somehow from childhood the idea stuck in my head that a certain aunt & uncle paid cash for everything, and they lived fairly well (not extravagant, but well), so I tried to emulate their success.

[ruthiegirl]

Oh, hell no.  We were broke till payday, then we lived like kings.  Then broke, followed by more kingly behavior.

Repeat ad nauseam. 

It is one of the things that has made me appreciate the Mustachian lifestyle. 

[MrsSmitty]

My parents were pretty frugal. The first 10 years of their marriage they were flat broke (grad student/waitress then museum researcher/SAHM) so I think that shaped a lot of things later on. But the problem was they never talked about money. It was just "no". No I won't buy that, you can't have that. Never why. So I grew up thinking alternately that we were broke or that my parents were jerks. It turned me into a rather spendy (though never crazy) young adult. Once I had the money to buy all that stuff I always wanted, I started buying. Always within my means, but only just. I got slowly tired of that in the couple years after college and started down the frugal/MMM (unknowingly) about 6 years ago. Now looking back I wish my parents had been a little clearer about their motivations. I could have gotten here a lot sooner if I'd had my priorities straight.

[Morfas44]

Yes and no. We ate in mostly. Parents did home improvement on the side that ate up a lot of $$. It all was worth it in the end but I wish they just put their extra money into index funds and took more time off.

[Bob W]

Yep.  I'm old so my parents would be 100 now.  Dad was born in 1914.

One car,  ate out twice per year or on vacation, never flew,  never saw dad in a shopping mall.

Looking at our photos from xmas growing up it is interesting how few decorations and pictures are on the walls.   As time changed crap crept in though.   As my parents aged they reaped the benefits.  Home paid off,  no debts or much in bills,  winter months in Florida,  sent kids through school.

Not a flashy neighborhood.  Everyone moved in their 30s and stayed till they died. 

[Pigeon]

My folks were reasonably mustachian.  Dad built the house I grew up in with his own two hands and was the ultimate DIYer.  They never paid anyone to do anything related to the house that I can recall.  He even taught himself how to sew and made our prom gowns and bridesmaids dresses, and upholstered all our furniture.  They had too many kids, but managed to put us all through college.  Dad was the master of the navy shower, and wouldn't buy turpentine for cleaning up stuff because gasoline was cheaper.  Yikes.  They drove their cars into the ground.

On the other hand, they did spend on some things.  They belonged to a country club, but they got good value out of it,  We never took vacations but spent the summers as kids at the pool at the club, and mom and dad golfed every weekend.

[The_path_less_taken]

Both parents spent money like drunken sailors.

Both were packrats.

Both bought 'stuf'f pretty much every day of their lives.

Only smart thing was Mom did believe in rental property and explain how to advertise/maintain it.

[Artemis67]

My parents weren't living paycheck-to-paycheck, but they were hardly frugal. My mom eventually got over her shopping addiction, but my dad never did--and he was always buying another expensive car, boat, RV, or house, constantly chasing after bigger, shinier, more status-promoting things.

If my dad hadn't died of cancer two years ago, he would have ended up in deep shit financially. He inherited income properties from his parents several years ago, then set about killing that golden goose by spending money on toys and renovating his own ostentatious house rather than building maintenance and improvements. He also took on a stupendous amount of debt to finance his inflated, rich-guy lifestyle ambitions. My siblings and I were shocked at how reckless he'd been--we knew it was bad, but not how bad. We figured things would have visibly crumbled within five years, and he would have ended up bankrupt within a decade. It was just nuts.

I'm the most frugal among my siblings, but even the non-mustachians are careful with money and live below their means. We had the ultimate bad example to learn from, and learned well from that.   

 

[E16sean]

Christmas themed entry: keeping all wrapping paper and re-using it; and using the same decorations every year (obviously).

My parents did the same thing. I remember a shelf with years old crinkled wrapping paper. Trying to fold along the existing folds. No branded clothing, aversion to any debt. Paid off mortgage by 40. Golf membership. Retired at 60 but would never have considered retiring earlier as an option.

It took until 30 and reading this blog to take moustachianism seriously. My upbringing definitely helped as I don't have such high expectations. But my SO was raised the opposite so will be a challenge to bring her around.

[One Noisy Cat]

My parents were depression era thrifty.  Nothing too crazy like burying money in coffee cans in the backyard. But it meant brown bagging lunches, no restaurants, growing vegetables in the yard and canning them.  Vacations were at campgrounds with tent and sleeping bags.  Modest cable package-Dad loved TCM.
   Investments were something they avoided except for U S Savings Bonds and the employee stock program.  That meant IBM with Dad getting a discount.  Having a large sum in your employers stock is not recommended. But it worked out well for them.  Not really sure why they waited to retire at 63, putting four kids through college had a lot to do with it.  But retire in your mid 60s was THE accepted lifestyle.

[Lookilu]

I did.
My parents were born in 1922 and 1923 and were old enough to have vivid memories of living through the Great Depression. They both worked, lived within their means, and put money into CDs, but were not sophisticated investors by any stretch.
Evidently their naturally frugal ways rubbed off on me--their youngest, late-in-life offspring--but my older siblings are exactly the opposite.

[Villanelle]

Very much so.  Born in the early 40s, both my parents are the product of parents who lived through the depression.

Though they never biked, my parents were thrift in pretty much all things.  We ate out maybe 4 times a year (the 4 family birthday), with maybe one delivered pizza day as a special treat.  All food was home cooked.  They saved. They never carried any credit card debt or bough cars with loans.  Though they never biked, cars were modest, used, and driven for a long time. 

We were the last people I knew to get cable, an answering machine, and many other fancy-pants inventions, with the exception of computers of which dad was an early adopter. 

By junior high, we lived in a neighborhood where everyone had a gardener. I remember how mortified I felt being seen in the front yard pulling weeds (or washing our cars or dog) because everyone else paid someone to do those things. (Ah, teen angst.)  My parents did many of their own home projects and repairs.

Our clothes were bought on sale and were rarely name brand (excepting an occasional outlet purchase). much to my junior high chagrin.  Until about junior high (when their income increased tremendously), vacations were non-existant or trips to see family. 

And they are reaping the rewards now, with positive cash flow even in retirement (though dad still works as a consultant because he wants to).  I am so happy for them, and grateful as well.

Dh, OTOH, grew up in a paycheck-to-paycheck, if-we-can-afford-the-payments-we-can-buy-it family, and not by necessity, though they would claim otherwise. 

[Rika Non]

< --  Yes I came from a fairly frugal family.

At the time and I still look at this way, the goal was not to be frugal but to be more self-reliant.  Fix things yourself, do all your own house work / repairs.  Added to that always home cooking, gardening, sewing.  Enjoying the library, parks, etc.

[iwasjustwondering]

My dad was pretty frugal.  My mom was less so, but still pretty frugal.  In some ways they were penny wise and pound foolish.  My dad would never buy a car worth more than $1000.  He did the plumbing himself, which often involved duct tape.  My mom would take me clothes shopping once a year and buy me two pairs of pants and one sweater, so I never had enough clothes and things were too short or ripped.  Geez, I am realizing now that that wasn't very good.

We always had a nice vacation, often at the beach.  My mom would roast a turkey the morning we left, and stick it in a cooler.  We'd use it for turkey sandwiches for a few days.  She'd also make a lasagna and freeze it, and bring it along.  In fact, she still does that when we all vacation on Cape Cod.   My whole extended family rents a house somewhere (once in Italy, usually on the Cape), and we always cook.  We hate eating out, especially when the kids were little.

On the other hand, they moved for my dad's work when they were approaching 60, and they ended up buying an expensive townhouse with a large mortgage.  Then they moved again and bought another townhouse.  They still have a mortgage now, in their 70s. 

[queenie]

I think that my parents were money-conscious, but not necessarily mustachian.  Neither ever carried debt while we were kids, and always paid cash for everything, including vehicles.  My dad only got a debit card in the last couple of years.  They paid off their mortgage in 5 years, so they were mortgage-free when they started their family.  Both saved for retirement and had pensions.  They also saved for all of us to go on to post-secondary education.  They are both retired (my dad retired earlier than he planned) and still live the same lifestyle that we had growing up.

But we had a lot of luxuries too.  We had snowmobiles, dirt bikes, a boat, computers and gaming systems, lots of electronics, a cottage (shared equally amongst my mother's family), a camp (shared amongst my dad's brothers), we went to Disney once, etc.  We never had expensive clothes, we weren't enrolled in many activities, and we lived in a modest house, so I guess they just spent where they felt there was value.  Aside from Disney that one time, family vacations were always to see family and to the cottage.

My parents never, ever talked to us about money though.  They were always really generous with it when we wanted something, so I think that I just grew up thinking that somehow there would always be "enough" money for what I wanted.  I don't remember ever being told that we couldn't afford something or that I couldn't have something that I wanted.

I wish that they had taught us more about money.

[fartface]

Pretty Much.

My Dad was a blue-collar union worker with a solid middle-class income and benefits. At age 49 after 25 years of service, he retired with a pension and medical benefits -- that was 13 years ago.

My mom was a SAHM until I was about 10 - then she went back to school and got her accounting degree. She started making decent money and working full-time. This resulted in lifestyle inflation -- namely spoiling my younger siblings.

They stayed in their 1975 starter home for over 35 years which they paid off in short order. Drove used cars and were always mindful to teach me the value of a dollar. Over the years my mom owned shit-hole rental properties with deadbeat tenants she was constantly fighting with or evicting. It really soured me to the whole "landlord" thing...even though I eventually became one myself. 

Nearly all our family vacations were camping or road trips around the US. I didn't fly on an airplane until I was 17. My parents took us on our first trip ever to Disney that year (see lifestyle inflation comment above). Of course it was a blast for my little sisters and brother -- kinda 'meh for a 17 year old.

My parents also taught me a lot about the stock market and investing which made it possible for them to retire before age 50. One thing they did, that I would NEVER do, is in 1997 my mom took out a home equity loan for $10,000 to buy 1000 shares of Best Buy which was trading around $10/share at the time. It paid off BIG TIME for them in the end but It's not a play I'd ever make...

They put four kids through college - we all graduated with zero student loan debt - and we're all pretty high functioning and successful adults today, so I guess they did something right.

I will say my youngest siblings buy more 'toys'. I don't think any of us have credit card debt, but our savings rates certainly differ. One of my sisters has started reading MMM and seeking me out for financial guidance which I find pretty cool. She's five years younger than me so I think she has a bright financial FI future in store!

[tracylayton]

My upbringing was very Mustachian...I come by it genetically. People only think I'm frugal, until they meet my mother. It's probably a coincidence that she came over from Scotland at 17, but I'm pretty sure that it's in our DNA. Dad grew up here, but in the post-depression 30's.

[Zikoris]

Oh hell no. My parents are both BIG spenders and always have been. I used to annoy them as a kid by pointing out all ways they could save money :)

Growing up I did learn how to fix basic things and use tools, which a LOT of people I know don't seem to be able to do. All skills beyond that were learned through the trial-and-error message after moving out on my own at 18.

[GardenFun]

Yep, definitely mustachian house.  Had a "party line", rotary dial phone, turn-dial TV, cars were not purchased until they met the intersection sweet spot of 70,000 miles/$3,000 max.  Got hand-me-down clothes from parents' friends, which fortunately were from awesome stores so that wasn't as embarrassing as it may sound for a teenager.  Never had cable and they still don't have internet.

But they always came up with the money for sports, piano lessons, driving/few flying vacations, and other life events.  They made the choice to give up the fancy cars, dinners out and flashy house remodels to increase family memories. 

The funny part is that I have morphed into them.  Growing up, I told them that I would have new electronics, buy awesome cars, and have a kick-ass house.  Now I'm the person who shops thrift stores for electronics, has a vehicle with 215,000 miles on it and still lives in a "starter home".  Parents think it is hysterical but yet, they don't have to support us - and I don't have to support them so it is a blessing both ways.

[Rural]

Oh yeah. Both parents raised by people who were full adults during the Depression (and I'd argue the Depression never really ended where my father is from). Mom was one of four kids, dad was one of eleven (true rural, think old agricultural model of family because that's what it was, though the boys ended up in coal mines more often than fields).


When I was small we were poor to the point that the garden was our food security. Fortunately both parents were damn good at growing food. Also, despite significant family pressure, my parents put off having kids for eight years after getting married, until they felt they could afford it.


I first ate in a restaurant at about age six or seven. It was fast food; I remember it clearly. That continued to happen once or twice a year until I was a teenager.


My parents saved up and bought land when I was three and my father built a house on it himself, with some help from his father and brothers.


My mother made all our clothes other than handed down items from cousins (eleven kids on one side, remember).


Toys were made by my parents or they came from thrift stores. Once my mother went back to work part time when we kids were bigger, some of our clothes and a lot of the adult clothes came from thrift stores because she didn't have as much time for sewing.


Now, though, my parents have done very well for themselves. They've been fully retired for about seven years (him) and ten years (her) because his health insurance was better and per-ACA, she was uninsurable outside of employer coverage, so he worked until she was eligible for Medicare.


Their money keeps building up now that they're both retired. I wish they'd spend more, but. They travel a lot and there's just nothing else either of them wants that costs money. They did just buy a new (new!) truck to tow their little travel trailer on those trips, and no, they don't much want to travel another way; Dad likes to wander around backroads, and Mom calls the trailer her "play house." They're happy, and I'm incredibly lucky to have had their example.


By the way, no one asked, but my husband grew up in a similarly thrifty house (a little more actual food insecurity). That may be the real difference; for us it's like Mustachian squared.

[Annie-Blake]

we too had the sneaky Christmas tree from the bushland! it was great!

my parents were poor, so followed a more mustachian way of life as a result.  We never had take away. We never went on school excursions. We never did after school activities (sports, ballet, swimming etc).  Holidays were camping locally. We always had one car only and it was an old model.  All food was made from scratch, we never ate out or had pre-packaged food.  All clothes were second hand.  We didn't go to the movies or to the shopping mall.  We never got allowances.  We rode our bikes everywhere and played in the yard and bushland across the road. 

but while we may have lacked in material things we certainly did not lack in love, fun and experiences. I had the best childhood. Heaps of awesome camping trips with swimming in fresh water creeks, and heaps of outdoor activities every single day. With lots of yummy home made sweets! I don't remember ever sitting down to watch TV, there was always too much to do outside. And I would hit the pillow early every night and sleep like a baby!

and it is now my gift to be able to help my parents in life.  we sent them on their first plane trip a few years ago, and then we sent them on their first international holiday! they had never been out of the country. we also helped them with a car.  my parents have never said they are broke, have never been victims and have always been happy people who are happy with their lives.  they would never ask for a hand out.  it's lovely to be able to provide some things for them, after all they have done for me (and still continue to do so). at the end of the day, family and not things is their number one priority. 

[bye-bye Ms. FancyPants]

We were poor, so we didn't have much choice. When there was a little bit of money, it was spent :)

[aetherie]

Yes. I remember them explaining to 10-year-old me the difference between looking rich and being rich. My dad just retired last month at 54, which is doubly impressive because due to my mom's health issues she's never worked full-time.

I think in their case frugality developed naturally from their hippie tendencies, such as:
- growing most of their own food
- not caring about social status items like fancy cars
- flat-out refusing to use gas for recreational things like ATVs, boats, even gas-powered lawnmowers
- keeping household waste to a minimum (i.e. washing and reusing ziploc bags)
- spending free time doing things like chopping firewood, reading library books, walking the dog, and contradancing - no TV

But they've never been cheap when it comes to the things that matter to them. We took a few international family vacations, my brother and I did all the camps and extracurricular activities we wanted, my mom and I both had Lasik surgery and my brother had braces, and they paid for our college educations in full.

The most notably antimustachian thing I can think of is that they're pretty much attached at the hip to their financial advisors.

So yes, I'm glad to have grown up in a mustachian household. I did go through a high school phase of spending all my money on clothes, but I got over it and the rest of their good habits have stuck with me.

[Torran]

Love all these answers! My natural nosiness is having a field-day over here.

A lot of mention of the depression, particularly food security. Obviously it's a different context, but I remember reading an article in the guardian about a girl who had been a child during WW2, and was on a ship shortly after the end of the war, on the way to India, watching the staff throwing oranges overboard because they'd gone off. She'd never seen anyone throw food away like that, and described it as 'watching people throwing gold into the sea'.

Anyway, this all makes really fascinating reading. Thanks everyone.

[rocketpj]

Yes, I think I did.  Both my parents were teachers (though Mom only for about 15 years since she was at home until I was about 12).

What they never did was talk to me about money.  But they paid off their mortgage in about ten years, and both retired at 55.  They live a good life now, though a part of it is certainly due to a later inheritance from my ultramustachian grandfather (depression era made good) and society gal grandmother who kept her money a secret until after her death.

As a kid my parents always made stuff available to me if I wanted it (sports etc), but our holidays were always camping trips (sometimes for 5-6 weeks at a time) and they didn't leave Western Canada at all until I moved to Ottawa for grad school.

[Cressida]

If "yes" only out of necessity.  I would describe us as "poor" rather than "thrifty."

yeah, this.

[87tweetybirds]

Frugal, and mustachian in some aspects, my parents are way ahead of my dad's brother in investments and saving, but never having grossed more than 50k a year, and having had 7 kids limited their investing potential. But they taught us to save and invest from a young age, and for some of us those lessons were well learned, while others still spend like tomorrow will never come.

[Datastache]

I grew up with parents who lived within their means. Although they weren't huge savers (mainly as a result of not being huge earners), they taught me to think for myself, be wary of advertising, and look for low per-unit prices on groceries. It wasn't a hardcore mustachian upbringing or anything, but they're far from mindless consumers.

[homehandymum]

I don't really know how to answer this one.  In some ways, yes, compared to modern middle class standards, we were frugal (fast food from chain restaurants was reserved for birthdays only, home-cooked meals every night, packed lunches for school, and just knowing not to ask for expensive things because it would cause stress).

But on the other hand, my Dad was a 'lifer' when it came to his job - he was born in 1931, so his career involved going to trade school, leaving at 15, apprenticing and then working for the same firm for the next 40 years.  Early retirement is just a fantasy to him - you work hard, earn your money and don't ask for much.  And he was/is quite useless with what to actually do with the money once he got it.  Much of it would just run through his fingers to goodness knows where.

My Mum was much more frugal - it was her who put the brakes on him upgrading the car as often as he wanted, and she would talk him out of many impulse purchases.  Didn't stop him randomly bringing home new gadgets for the kitchen, or upgrading the lawnmower for spurious reasons.

They knew how to save, but they would 'save up' for special things and then blow all the savings - trips to Europe, for instance.

They were saved financially by two things:

1) one of Dad's impulse purchases was a holiday house, where we spent ALL of our holidays growing up.  Owning and furnishing a whole additional property just so you can vacation at it is not the best use of the money.  But what DID work for them was that when they decided to sell, house prices had risen substantially, and also they sold through a rent-to-own arrangement, which the purchaser got through 80% of the process of buying, then had a marriage breakup and subsequently defaulted on the remaining purchase.  Meaning my parents got to keep the money AND the house.  So they sold it again (more standard arrangement the second time, as they had found the first arrangement quite stressful).

2) My mother was 21 years younger than my Dad, so even when he retired at 65, she continued to work full-time, so his retirement savings were not needed so much for those years, and could accumulate.

Of course, since mum died at age 55, Dad (then aged 76) has had to survive from his pension and savings without anyone telling him not to spend stuff.  That hasn't gone quite so well.  He is now 83, has a new, wealthy and spendy partner who likes to go on cruises and eat out and fly to australia for holidays.  So we shall see how that goes.  Thankfully there is actually a pretty good safety net here for elderly people, and he could get subsidised housing and enough money to pay the bills as and when his investments run out.  And hell, he's 83, so he might as well spend it. 

To be honest, I haven't the foggiest idea of how much money he has, aside from a gut feeling it would plenty enough if he was careful, but not so much he couldn't spend it all within a couple of years if he's an idiot.

TL;DR - my parents knew how to trim the fat in order to 'save up' for stuff, and they always found the money for things they valued (holidays, music lessons, ballet classes, sports etc), but they had no real clue what to do with money once it was saved, and had no idea that the 'good life' could involve anything more than working at their jobs so they could buy a newer car or have a holiday in Europe.